Q4M: a woman being a bad ass... Turn on? Or turn off?

OrdinaryFarmer · 2023-12-16T04:29:17+00:00

First of all, that video could just be dishonest bait for redpillers and such. It's no surprise that every redpill guru or tradcon would point out this video, and give her endless views as a result.

Secondly, guaranteed she has armies of men lined up to go out with her, of course not all are gonna be giga chads, but she has plenty of options, if not endless options.

Lastly whether those things are a turnoff, it honestly wouldn't matter to most men as long as the woman was hot. Some men would find those a turnoff, and some would even find them as a turn on.

md8716 · 2023-12-16T06:47:31+00:00

Turn off. Don't get me wrong, I like women with a little bit of a strong/spicy personality, but I need feminine energy that is complementary to mine. Like their natural state should be warm and sweet.

Like I'll take a mid looking feminine girl next door over a hot, combative, ambitious career woman boss babe type with a gym body that wants to be part of a power couple. They just operate in fundamentally different paradigms in how they approach and live life.

illusoryfindings · 2023-12-16T04:00:03+00:00

Personally I'm not into it for a relationship, but I don't mind for casual.

My gut and experience tells me these types of women are going to be emotionally chaotic, overly passionate, and needlessly argumentative.

I'm more attracted to dainty, serene, and graceful women because they make me feel more secure, like we can build something long term because her emotional state doesn't feel as much of a transient whirlwind.

These fiery badass girls can love you one minute then hate you the next based on random moods of the day, and they make it known, which makes me close up emotionally.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-12-16T04:55:10+00:00

It's very contextual. I don't mind and it could be a turn on in the right situation with the right girl.

But if it is part of some overarching political statement about how women are just as badass as men and so on, then it is a complete turnoff.

I am so fucking tired of the warrior princess or badass bitch cliche in movies. It robs us of the chance to see truly strong women displaying their power and agency in ways that are actually realistic for women. You don't need to be a man to be a strong woman.

Neptune-Jnr · 2023-12-16T04:47:39+00:00

The woman in that video doesn't even seem unattractive. I think she's just looking for an excuse. She's probably making things harder on herself some how.

macone235 · 2023-12-16T03:53:06+00:00

Massive turn off.

These women are masculine, and as always - the more masculine the woman is, then the harder you have to compete to try and keep her in your frame. It's not worth it.

Natural-Sun1850 · 2023-12-16T15:26:23+00:00

Some women give off strong “I hate men” vibes.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2023-12-16T20:43:08+00:00

My answer is similar to the answer a lot of women would give: authenticity matters. This woman in the video acts like having tattoos and a nose ring makes her the most subversive badass ever, while these things are absolutely pedestrian, boring even. If you're doing these things as a big fake performance then they're a huge turnoff.

But otherwise I love badass things about women. I've dated musicians, business owners, and very successful businesswomen and they've all been plusses. I like something I can admire about a woman and things she's passionate about that we can talk about.

I'm dating a woman now who races motorcycles. I'm amazed by how daring she is on a bike. Way more than I've ever been on any kind of vehicle. She's not doing it to project some badass image. She just loves it. With me she has an edge but is very soft and feminine. IMO the most attractive women are complex and interesting like this.

No-You7911 · 2023-12-16T06:33:35+00:00

I don't see a bad ass. I see someone who made questionable life choices.

Lots of tattoos? Bull ring in nose? The way she talks and puts herself out there,

Would never see her as a dating, relationship or hookup option. I do not view her as feminine. I just see someone full of testosterone and drama. No thanks.

AreOut · 2023-12-16T09:29:30+00:00

mutilates her body

Why am I single?!?!?

DesertShifter · 2023-12-16T04:02:51+00:00

Generally, no, its a turn off. You dont look feminine with a billion tattoos, a ton of piercings, riding on motorcycles, owning a pitbull (child killer) or playing in bands (unless you're doing classical music). The more masculine and risk prone behavior you engage in, the more masculine you appear, and if we wanted masculine we'd just be gay instead. It was my experience that excluding american and western european women from my dating pool drastically increased the quality of girls I surrounded myself with, mostly because those girls know how to be feminine. Like, hell, theres a reason asian girls are the most sought after on dating apps, their reputation is literally "modern but without the negatives white women embraced."

The girl in the tiktok made an accurate realization in that men with options dont settle down with girls like her, they wife up prim and proper instead.

social_mule · 2023-12-16T04:08:22+00:00

More of a red flag than a turn off. Riding a motorcycle isn't a turn off in and of itself but in my observation riding a motorcycle usually comes with a list of other traits that are turn offs. Substitute riding a motorcycle with any other "bad ass" activity.

philseven12 · 2023-12-16T09:33:01+00:00

she can have an edge, because i have a yes or no policy when disagreement comes up or when deciding if we want to push things further along or part ways. she can have all her hobbies as long as we respect each other

mike-sonko · 2023-12-16T04:07:03+00:00

It depends. I've dated some badass attorneys who were killing it in court and locking up criminals. My last ex was a federal prosecutor who was a ferocious litigator in court. But in our relationship she was an extremely pleasant, thoughtful, kind, family oriented woman. If she had the same attitude inside and outside court I wouldn't have dated her. I guess the duality of her personality was a turn on? I don't know.

tired_hillbilly · 2023-12-16T03:58:57+00:00

Depends on the edge.

Playing drums is cool, though I'd worry what sorts of debauchery she got up to with her band-mates.

Pitbull is a big no.

Motorcycle is neutral.

Here's some more examples:

She likes guns? That's great, I do too.

UFC? Sweet!

Drugs? Probably no; occasional pot use is ok; it's no worse than alcohol basically. Anything harder is sketchy.

Petty crime like shoplifting? Probably no

webernicke · 2023-12-16T04:23:23+00:00

The girl in the tiktok video is hot imo. That flex tho.

Capable, strong and badass women are attractive to me, as long as they don't have some kind of chip on their shoulder about rubbing men's faces in it e.g. "Boss Bitches"

But women that are tough but also pretty and kind? Swoon.

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Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2023-12-16T04:33:07+00:00

As long as I’m attracted to her and she has an actual feminine side I do not care. Constance from Gotham garage has this edge, super into cars and quite bad ass at it, but she is also super feminine and carries herself like it.

Abigail is gorgeous but there’s 2 issues. She lives in fucking Springfield,MO (eeewww, abortion and ending still births is healthcare compared to the crazy politics there) and she is 6’ tall. I like to date women at least 3-4” shorter so she can feel super feminine next to me in 3-4” heels and not tower over me at 5’11”. So the tallest for me is 5’7”, 5’8”. Otherwise 8/10 times I don’t get a chance when approaching if she is taller.

Zabadoodude · 2023-12-16T07:06:56+00:00

It makes her more interesting which is attractive, but in my experience those types of women tend to be a bit crazy, which js not worth it for a relationship

splittingxheadache · 2023-12-16T08:52:40+00:00

I don't have a problem with a woman who is a "badass" or does typically male-coded things like ride motorcycles. I just don't want to deal with someone I'm going to butt heads with.

Mitago1 · 2023-12-16T09:50:04+00:00

All the examples you gave are a Turn On...except if she plays the drums, that's an major turn off.

ComfortableJeans · 2023-12-16T04:24:48+00:00

I don't know if I'd call it Bad Ass, but compitance in women is a MAJOR turn on.

My ex was a fire fighter for forestry brances, did shit like repelling out of a helicopter into a burning forest, a tree surgeon going up REALLY high trees with a chainsaw, worked with animals in volunteer animal rescue, which was actually how we'd started to fall for one another as I'd also do a lot with animals.

But she carried that into her life as well. Got everything done. She was going to school for a huge math degree, the type of formulas you see Tony Stark doing. Worked hard and tried her best in everything. Nothing phased her.

She was a gym bunny, really beautiful, but the hottest she ever looked was when she when she was getting shit done.

Fuck all that damsel in distress, hewp me daddy I'm just a siwwy girl take care of me submissive bullshit. Give me a self-reliant, compitant, get shit done, hero girl any fucking day.

I know dudes here will hate it, but a girl I can rely on to get shit done is best girl, bar none.

I will say, though, keep being a badass for outside relationship stuff. Inside relationship stuff, both partners should be soft, caring, sweet, gentle, and very affectionately loving.

Another thing I learned was that girls like that want to be made to feel girly when they're with a boy they've fallen for and trusted. Tease her, be playful, and make her laugh, get physical and playfight. You don't even have to be traditionally manly. The only thing I have going for me in that regard is being tall.

Also, the willingness to be capable. I was in a relationship with a girl who was super independent in her work life, but relationship wise, we were all over one another all the time. Made more than me, wanted me to be a stay at home husband with her. It's not important, but anyway. She always wanted to learn so she could be more capable.

Having her sit down with me and do simple things like dismantle and unblock a sink so she could learn, then I'd put it back together and have her do the whole thing again. Or replacing and rewiring a new plug onto a power cable. It made me want to grab her face and kiss her.

I saw her fixing her truck once. Carried her back into the house.

Steakman1 · 2023-12-16T03:52:24+00:00

As long as these things are balanced out with feminine attributes, then it can potentially be attractive. A woman that rides a motorcycle potentially sounds hot.

I used to have a little crush on the drummer in Skillet when I was younger. Despite being a drummer, her personality always seemed pretty feminine in her interviews. And she’s pretty modest from what I can tell.

But not really into the dommy mommy type stuff. Woman in the video has a pretty face. Not sure how jacked she is but she potentially is too muscular. If she has an attitude adjustment and loses the septum ring then she will probably be fine.

Fun_Push7168 · 2023-12-16T05:14:43+00:00

1000% dependant on whether she acts like she has something to prove.

I can think of only one woman I know who's kind of a badass but doesn't have a chip on her shoulder and it's just who she is.

She's a farm girl, has a her own sort of micro farm. Very fit but not gym fit and amazing feminine body. Very nonchalant about it but can keep up with us military guys hiking, camping or shooting, etc. She'll mention liking "camping" and then you see a picture and you see she actually means some solo hiking trip in South America where her shelter is just some shit she rigged together. Then she's talking nails and hair with the girls but is clearly out of her depth there.

Very chill, not showy, not braggy, but after four or five times hanging out you finally piece together little stuff that comes up and realize " damn this chick is kind of a badass"

Big turn on, but a big part is that she doesn't think of herself that way, it's just how she is.

She still manages feminine very well, just in a very down to earth, non prissy basic way and still manages to have more manly type shit to talk with me about than most men I know who aren't old guys.

That showy bullshit in your OP...nah, turn off.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-12-16T12:48:04+00:00

These women are great for fun time.

But these same “bad asses” need to use tik Tok as their therapy. Sorry, that’s either weak or mentally ill.

As much as this sub focuses on things like trust, in a relationship you need to keep shit tight and sort things out together. Not go tell the world. This is a disqualifier.

wtknight · 2023-12-16T03:55:39+00:00

It depends upon the man, I'm guessing. I don't prefer this kind of woman.

Lovers691 · 2023-12-16T06:44:35+00:00

Neutral except the pit bull which is a turnoff depending on how well controlled it is.

thedarkracer · 2023-12-16T08:01:33+00:00

For me a turn on. It's better that she can take care of herself and I don't have to bail her out.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2023-12-16T08:27:10+00:00

My ex was also a Marine, so I like me a badass woman. I'm not the norm though.

There are some things I'm not cool with though - too many tattoos & aggressive dog breeds are on that list. Only reason I've never got a bike it bc I don't trust myself on one.

AidsVictim · 2023-12-16T08:47:09+00:00

No. I don't even like or respect guys like this. These people are basically advertising that they're egotistic, short sighted, thrill seeking, and going to be generally unstable.

boom-wham-slam · 2023-12-16T04:47:38+00:00

Bad ass for casual fun, not for anything serious.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-12-16T10:27:16+00:00

Yeah because it typically means she opens her legs as part of that edge.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-12-16T05:01:20+00:00

Like say she plays drums in a band

Turn-on. She has a cool hobby. Leans masculine, but not so much that it makes a woman who drums unattractive.

Or she has a big ol' pit bull named Kujo

Pit-mommies? Big turn-off. She's emulating hoodrat/thug culture. Masculine.

Or she rides a fast motorcycle

Crotch rocket? More often than not a turn on, because she probably is a thrill-seeker or has an interest in sport bikes; which aren't masculine or feminine

Harley? More than likely a turn off, because loud cruiser-bikes are strongly geared towards men (most notably biker-gang thugs). They are strongly masculine.

It all depends on what kind of bad-assery she is trying to display. If she's trying to be a man and pursuing simply things simply because of the masculinity of it, then it's a turn off. If she has genuine reasons for pursuing a hobby other than the masculinity and enjoys it for what it is, it's a turn on.

Women with cool hobbies are unicorns. Women trying to be men by nurturing masculine hobbies are a turnoff.

No_Constant7907 · 2023-12-16T22:38:57+00:00

I have a strong opinion on this and would love some feedback OP.

I'm a pretty manly dude, mostly. I was an grunt in the military for a while, I've got years of experience in martial arts and I'm really strong, I even shoot competitively frequently. I'm very much into that whole culture.

Once when I was young, my gf came to me and effectively started bragging about how she had intimidated another woman into moving seats or something. By threatening physical violence. I was instantly turned off by the entire idea, because I knew a simple fact at my core. Women aren't intimidating in the slightest. By and large, if 2 women engage eachther in physical violence they'll mostly fail to seriously hurt eachother and seperate within a few minutes. And this is true of my gf at the time, and the girl she was beefing with.

And I noticed you used things like owning a motorcycle as representative of being "badass" and here's the other thing about this.

Usually, when men tell women they're "badass" for embodying any of these things you listed, it's more of an infantilization than anything else. It's the unfortunate reality. They're more saying "aw you're so scary and badass" as though they're talking to a child who's dressed up on Halloween.

And much of the time, the men who say this are looking for sex and trying to grope the woman's ego to get there.

Finally, the last thing I'd like to go over is the dominance aspect. When it comes to women's "badassery" it may imply that they have the capacity to dominate men, some guys call this the "dommy mommy" or whatever. And the hard-core reality is that even in these cases these women are seriously incapable of being physically dominant to most men. It would require a man to consciously submit to her for her to gain the power of dominance over him. And maybe he's into that whatever, but I can promise that on average men aren't into that kind of stuff.

So are men into "badass women?" Um no. The traits that women encompass to become badass are masculine and otherwise non-competitive. But obviously a tattooed alt girl is gonna be heavily desired...because she's physically attractive.

MikeArrow · 2023-12-16T04:50:39+00:00

Depends on the person, I think.

Growing up I was very narrow in my view of attractiveness and those views have broadened significantly with age.

If you asked me at 17 who I liked in school, it was the head cheerleader type - a tall, stacked brunette with perfect hair, nails and makeup.

If you asked me at 20 who I liked at university, it was the alternative chick with the Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction hairstyle.

If you asked me now, it would be all of the above and more.

thisaccountaintrea1 · 2023-12-16T08:21:12+00:00

I don't see why not. I like my girls with an edge to them.

shadowrangerfs · 2023-12-16T11:55:35+00:00

It's not a turnoff to all men. But it IS a turnoff to THE MEN THAT SHE WANTS.

I guarantee you that there are plenty of men who would be into this woman. They would love her and treat her very well. They would be proud to call her their wife. But those men aren't the men THAT SHE WANTS.

theswartraven · 2023-12-16T12:35:31+00:00

Looks dependent. Rules 1 and 2 apply to women as well as men. Look at how many simps there are for Lagertha or Harley Quinn

Barely-moral · 2023-12-16T13:01:42+00:00

The only way I would consider a masculine woman as something other than a turn off is if she goes all the way and takes the masculine role completely.

As in she takes care of bringing the money and dealing with the outside world while her partner is the homemaker that works only to keep the home/children in the best state possible.

Since that is rare as a unicorn... Turn off.

obviousredflag · 2023-12-16T14:12:53+00:00

Huge turn-off for me. Not because of "bad-assery" but because of huge conflicting lifestyles.

PrecisionHat · 2023-12-16T15:26:24+00:00

None of these things make men badasses, so why would they make women badasses?

KayRay1994 · 2023-12-16T15:49:24+00:00

I guess it depends on how you define badass (ie. owning a business isn’t badass, for example, no matter who does it) - though I do dig a girl with an edge, I like some spice - i’m probably indifferent on the things you mentioned, and whether they’re badass by definition or not is irrelevant, but i guess the specific badass vibe (ie. giving no fucks, spontaneous, dynamic, had an edge) is something i am attracted to.

As for this particular girl, she’s attractive and seems like she could be a cool person under the right circumstances, but ranting on tiktok like this is more telling of her as a person than the things she says about herself - ie. potentially needy, desperate for validation, etc - these traits aren’t attractive, and they do rub off on your personal life. Plus, there this the obvious question of where she’s looking and what she might need to compromise on - i’m not saying lower her standard, to be clear, ie. if you’re aiming for 8+ or whatever you can keep doing that - but consider whether your aesthetic/personality fit in with the crowd you’re trying to get in with. Cause if these two don’t sync you either need to change to fit in (would not recommend), or look for a new crowd and look for elsewhere - cause there are loads of attractive dudes who would go for a girl like her.

flextov · 2023-12-16T17:17:46+00:00

I like knives. The sharper the edge the better. I don’t embrace them because I don’t want to get sliced.

gopher_glitz · 2023-12-16T17:43:33+00:00

Turn off, these women tend to be overly competitive and always compensating for something, also trying to be 'bad ass'. They usually are feminine and sweet.

SupposedlySapiens · 2023-12-16T17:47:52+00:00

I would say my ideal is a confident, clever, capable woman who willingly takes on a submissive role. I enjoy being in a dominant role and feeling needed, but also genuinely want an equal partner and someone who isn’t going to fall apart without me. This type of woman is definitely a unicorn in today’s world though, and I’ve only ever met one who I felt truly fit what I’m describing.

liferelationshi · 2023-12-16T17:55:13+00:00

Turn off

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-12-16T18:53:21+00:00

I like people who are genuinely authentic and comfortable with it. If she’s a baddie cause that’s who she is- then cool.

LogicalLetterhead272 · 2023-12-16T20:06:56+00:00

Plenty of guys would love to "wife up" a woman like this.

She's acting like she's single because of her hobbies, interests, and looks, but I guarantee you it's because picky or she's just a shitty girlfriend.

That video is clearly just begging for male attention, I bet she probably had a flood of DMs from guys saying they'd wife her up, and she is interested in 0% of those guys.

Wattehfok · 2023-12-16T20:30:21+00:00

I fucken love women with an edge. I want a partner I respect and admire. I want her to have strong opinions. Girls who play drums and are covered in tattoos are hot as hell (though if she had a motorbike and a pit bull, I’d assume she bats for the other team).

But a lot of people who describe themselves as having an “edge” are just belligerent jerks. I don’t have time for that noise.

Proudvow · 2023-12-16T20:42:37+00:00

Do guys like it when a woman has an edge to her?

Some guys do. The problem alpha women have is that they're generally not attracted to the most common type of guy who's into alpha women: beta males.

They tend to want alpha males, and most alpha males simply aren't interested. If a guy's competing all the time outside he'll often want compliance at home.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-12-17T03:24:08+00:00

Probably not because to some extent that honestly sounds worrying (mainly the fast motorcycle thing)

purplish_possum · 2023-12-17T03:57:28+00:00

My 1st ex-wife beat the crap out of one of my booty call girls while they were both doing a few days in the local jail. Years later she dropped off a stolen brindle pitbull puppy named Coco at my house.

I got my 2nd ex-wife's criminal record expunged.

MateriallyAttatched · 2023-12-17T07:05:52+00:00

Nope. Men love feminine women, not ambitious, career-driven, manly women.

Status plays almost no role in attraction for men, and in many cases it's the opposite. And no, it's not because it's "intimidating." It's unattractive because women like that are FRUITY.

"Oh yeah, that 50 year old female CEO wearing a business suit with shoulder pads and acting all assertive is so HOT," said no man ever.

You can cope and blame the patriarchy, but I blame the matriarchy for women's attraction to criminals.

abaxeron · 2023-12-17T09:09:43+00:00

You get the idea.

Was my dream type when I was a teenager; then I switched to having a crush on a girl who had unpierced ears in her 30s.

Warm_Gur8832 · 2023-12-18T05:25:50+00:00

Turn on.

I like not being the center of attention all the time.

Title	Q4M: a woman being a bad ass... Turn on? Or turn off?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	12
Comments	204
Date	December 16, 2023 3:46 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18jiemh/q4m_a_woman_being_a_bad_ass_turn_on_or_turn_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-a-woman-being-a-bad-ass-turn-on-or-turn-off.1240881 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240881

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