Sexual Selection in Men and Women

MongoBobalossus · 2024-01-17T16:27:07+00:00

Women absolutely will go back over and over for good dick.

Though, in my experience, if you get one that’s a wildcat in bed, you keep wanting to go back to her too.

Clementinequeen95 · 2024-01-17T16:47:27+00:00

No all dick doesn’t feel the same. I would argue the biggest difference between good and bad sex for women is whether or not a man actually tries to make it enjoyable for us. Most don’t.

Literal_Jesus_ · 2024-01-17T17:16:01+00:00

Good dick is rare good head is rarer. I knew a guy that had a model on his roster bc his head was fire.

AfterDarkOpinions · 2024-01-17T16:22:09+00:00

There's definitely a difference--some women are tighter than others. However, I can enjoy sex regardless of tightness most of the time. I don't think I've been with a woman who was too tight or too loose.

Zombombaby · 2024-01-17T17:12:25+00:00

Good dick usually goes hand in hand with:

Communication- like not surprising your partner with things they didn't consent to initially (ie, bdsm, piss play, diaper fetish, etc.)
Actual foreplay- if you're just jackhammering away then it doesn't matter how perfect your dick is, it will not satisfy anyone.
Cleanliness- I have gotten UTIs before because a dude didn't know to wash his dick apparently.
Being physically compatible. All bodies are different. My husband is average size and if it were any bigger, I would hate it. It hurts sometimes already if we're not careful but some vaginas are more shallow, tighter, or have their own issues. Big dicks don't mean anything if they're hurting you the entire time. It's not a pleasant experience

I think men sometimes think vaginas need to just be filled up to capacity and that translates to an instant orgasm somehow. Everyone is different. Everyone likes different things. There is no perfect sex partner that fits every woman's needs no matter their age, race, vagina, or whatnot.

wtknight · 2024-01-17T16:19:36+00:00

but when he wants sex and he's in the mood, he doesn't care where he gets it from, as long as the woman is down to have sex.

This is the big difference. Since it’s so much easier for men to orgasm, they care about the quality of sex much less than women do (not that men don’t care about it at all).

Notsonewguy7 · 2024-01-17T16:29:46+00:00

The real difference I've noticed in women is enthusiasm , like physical fitness, flexibility, and tightness but there's not really a major difference no.

Some women are more fun and smell better.

But with very little exception none of my female like sexual partners have been specifically more impressive like as far as sexual ability it kind of evens out some have been awful but none have been great most have been average.

dmbrokaw · 2024-01-17T18:21:23+00:00

'Good pussy' is not necessarily about vaginal tightness and lubrication. 'Good pussy' is shorthand for "a woman with whom I am sexually compatible, who makes me feel desired and attractive, who is enthusiastic about doing [insert things I like], is able to communicate her needs clearly, doesn't make me feel like I have to read her mind or become Sherlock Holmes looking for clues on how to get her off, and leaves me a quivering pile of barely-alive manflesh at the end of our encounter."

There is absolutely a difference between good pussy and ok pussy, and I pity any man who doesn't know the difference.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-01-17T16:49:02+00:00

Good dick is phenomenal and life affirming. Bad dick is disappointing and regrettable.

But it’s not the dick, it’s the person attached who is enthusiastically participating in sex because he’s excited for both partners to have a good time.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-01-17T17:46:26+00:00

Of course there are differences in feeling.

For vagina- I don't have a dick, so I can't compare the internal feel, just the labia and taste- every woman's fluids taste different depending on her diet, cleaning habits, and just her as a person. There are definitely women I've been less enthused about eating out again based on the taste.

For dick- It's mostly about size and bend. Too-wide hurts. Too long can hurt, but is easier to work with. Too short can't quite hit the right spots. I've so far never had a problem with too thin. A bend in the right or wrong place can effect where it hits.

As for good dick versus bad dick? It depends. It really is true that "knows how to use it" is as important as size: my current male FWB is definitely below-average in length to the point that I struggle to finish, but he recognizes that, so he trained himself to have a lot of energy and go for a while, and he has no shame including other stimulation. I may not reach the finish line, but the journey is still worth it.

As for if I will have sex with someone bad at sex? Probably not unless I cared about the person. If I'm horny, I've got toys to deal with that- I don't need to go through the trouble of including another person. If I include you, it's because I either want your personal company or you're better than my toy.

_here_ok · 2024-01-17T18:31:52+00:00

honestly seems like cases of people just focusing on very specific aspects of sex or not putting much thought besides what they search for in it. like when it comes to your male friend, he is just looking for orgasm. he himself doesn't care how he gets it and probably just does what he himself needs to climax instead of enjoying the experience.

meanwhile for your female friend , its hard to tell exactly what she looks for in sex. "good dick" can mean one that brings her orgasm or that gives her a positive experience through out the ordeal. i doubt it's the dick itself but whatever the natural inclination the man she is having sex with does with it.

realistically speaking, dicks and pussies shouldn't feel the same because we are built different and our privates are quite sensitive. so they should be able to feel differences unless an overwhelming sensation like pleasure or pain clouds judgement.

r2k398 · 2024-01-17T19:00:56+00:00

No, it doesn’t feel the same. This would be like saying that all BJs or handies are equal. It’s just not true.

Ohmaygahh · 2024-01-17T19:17:05+00:00

Man here. Dumbass question.

I've encountered pussy that can fit a literal bowling ball. Met one in which my pinky finger was too big. And everything in between.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2024-01-17T20:28:37+00:00

Lots of comments. This might be a good candidate for /r/ihavesex or ihadsex lol

Everything I wanted to say has already been said on the topic of differences. I don't think I'm allowed to be picky about it but some are better in bed for sure.

Zabadoodude · 2024-01-17T22:37:43+00:00

All pussy definitely doesn't feel the same. Some are tighter, some are shallower so you have to be careful to not bottom out and hurt her. Some take a lot of work to get off, others can come easily from piv or 10 seconds of fingering. And that's just a few of the physical differences. Some women just know how to act sexy and how to work the dick, others lie there and expect you to do all the work.

h1shman · 2024-01-17T16:52:28+00:00

Most girls feel similar. Some tighter/looser as your friend said. Some curve a lot more and some are a lot smoother feeling. Depth plays a difference too. If you have a less deep girl and she grinds forward and backwards her cervix will stimulate the tip of your dick. For me the standout girls were the ones that orgasmed easily or squirted from penetration. Top place are women who orgasm easily and a lot. It feels great when they build up as you can feel their vaginas quiver and squeeze your dick. Good for the ego too.

I’d say overall there is much more variety in how a pussy looks than feels and how she moves is a lot more important than either of those.

No-Calligrapher-3630 · 2024-01-17T18:26:45+00:00

Dicks feel different, but lots of things can vary. The size, shape,.... More importantly how comfortable you are being you, chemistry (major), obviously being down to do it, respect for them, position, time of the month.... Etc. those things help. So those things help the D feel better.

FIVE_6_MAFIA · 2024-01-17T20:01:59+00:00

Michael is a weirdo with extremely low standards

BrownEyed-Susan · 2024-01-17T20:27:45+00:00

Not all dick feels the same to me at all. Unfortunately some of the best dick I have gotten was from scum bags.

But I have also been with great men who have good dick.

I will always pick a good guy with mediocre or bad dick over a bad guy with good dick.

LadyLazarus2021 · 2024-01-17T21:18:17+00:00

“Women - When it comes to sex, does all dick feel the same to you...”

Oh hell no. There have absolutely been guys with better equipment and better skills using it.

confused_makeup · 2024-01-17T23:56:18+00:00

It's not just the dick, it's the guy. Certain shapes and sizes might feel better, but it's how he flirts, leads up to sex, does foreplay, his willingness to "give," etc.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-01-17T16:49:54+00:00

Men - When it comes to sex, does all pussy feel the same to you... or can you remember a time when a pussy felt better than another woman's pussy?

Of course. Some women have shallow pussies. Some women have wide/loose pussies. Some women have both, deep and wide canyon pussies. Some women can barely fit 2 fingers in there. I think it's disingenuous to say all pussies feel the same.

Mayfloweronthewall · 2024-01-17T16:25:31+00:00

I’m a virgin but from what I heard from other women, yes. Sexual skill, penis size, penis girth, penis curve, thrusts, speed and tempo all play a role in deciding if sex will be pleasurable or not but most of these depend on a woman’s personal preference.

slavette6 · 2024-01-17T17:19:49+00:00

No dick feels the same. Yes, size and girth do matter partially, but the man attached to the dick matters more. How he uses said dick and other skills he has are equally important.

Flimsy-Possible8868 · 2024-01-17T17:21:39+00:00

All pussy does not feels the same. Retrospecting about my hookups, I feel they were like intensified masturbation only. But sex with the lady I truly felt REALLY amazing. These days I'm single so not getting any sex regards all pussies equal.

obviousredflag · 2024-01-17T19:07:06+00:00

There seems to be a difference in what "good dick" and "good pussy" means. Sarah is about what the man does during sex, while Michael is about how the pussy feels, not what the woman does during sex. Of course, some people just vibe better sexually and how their genitals are formed is really of lesser importance, even if there are preferences.

Novadina · 2024-01-17T19:32:38+00:00

Women - When it comes to sex, does all dick feel the same to you... or can you remember a time when a dick felt better than another man's dick??

Absolutely. Every dick feels different. And every man is different. Some men have what could be a good dick but they don’t know how to use it well. The dick matters, but skills with the dick and tongue are probably the most important part for quality of sex.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-01-17T20:09:44+00:00

Pussies can feel surprisingly different but to me it doesn't affect my pleasure and the effect of the whole experience much. To me a good lover is one who is passionate, engaged, connected, and ideally adventurous. My orgasm is not a big part of it for me and it's not my goal. My goal is to have intimacy and a psychologically rich experience with another human. If it was just about dick stimulation I'm sure I could find some kind of device that would do it amazingly well.

What I've gathered from women is that dick shape/size does matter at least somewhat. For many not too much, for others a lot. But they also want psychological stimulation and a variety of physical stimulation (which also has a psychological aspect to it). Feeling safe, good about her body, and sexy are also very important. Getting a woman in the right mental state to receive pleasure makes the same dick feel way better.

meangingersnap · 2024-01-17T20:26:24+00:00

Bad dick can genuinely hurt

ilike18yoblackpussy · 2024-01-17T21:00:37+00:00

Some pussy feels really good, other pussy doesn't feel so good, but it'll get the job done.

That said, my hand can get the job done as well. So I don't get when people act like I should worship and beg for any pussy I can get.

his_purple_majesty · 2024-01-17T21:31:34+00:00

Men - When it comes to sex, does all pussy feel the same to you... or can you remember a time when a pussy felt better than another woman's pussy?

No, it doesn't. And the same pussy feels different depending on how turned on the girl is. In my experience, tight pussy feels worse, and is the most overrated thing ever. It squeezes your dick until it hurts, and it also makes it more likely that your dick slips out when she's riding you and then breaks in half when she thrusts again. Regularly sized pussy feels the best when she's super turned on, it's all extra pillowy.

But, all of that's of extremely minor importance to me. Sex is mostly mental. The actual pussy would never be the deciding factor in anything, and not something I'm really looking for.

CountMandrake · 2024-01-18T02:05:44+00:00

No, not all "pussies" feel the same, some are better than others, definetly.

Some are tighter, look better, smell better and taste better.

You can definetly do something with the cleanliness part, but in some cases it all boils down to genetics and there is nothing you can do about it.

But simularly to big dicks vs small dicks discussion, in the end it all boils down to the hability of the woman to give you a good orgasm.

And there you have a WIDE range of women, from the absolute dropdead gorgeous girl with the cutest, tightest pussy you've seen who just lays there, to the "meh" looking girl who arches her back like an english bow and let you hit that ass like there is no tomorrow and then jumps on top and squat-rides you for 30 minutes without getting a cramp and finishes swallonwing you while you have an epiphany about fishing in the limits of a black hole.

And this is something I've learned with the years...

There are women who just "get it", and there are women who just don't have it.

It's not something you can teach a woman to do, and it's not something they can learn with practice.

The worst sex I've ever had, so bad that it's actually fucking memorable, was with a girl who worked as a VIP escort. I didn't pay, I hooked up with her, we were friends.

Absolutely horrible sex.

The best sex I've ever had was with my ex fiancee. She had been with only two guys before me, but she was just... Sexy.

She didn't only do it just fine, she did it with enthusiasm, she was really into it, she loved it, and on top of that she knew how to look sexy in bed, how to pose IDK haha, her moans, the things she said and the way those words sounded in her mouth, the way she looked at me, the way she touched me (and when, and where, and with which part of her body... You get the idea) the timming, her facial expresions... So femenine and sexy.

It was like live porn you know what I mean? Her whole body was an extention of a sexual thing, just awesome.

And then she would jump from the bed, put on a summer dress, a pair of John Foos and her glasses and go for greoceries to the mall, and she was again the girl next door and if you crossed paths with her on the streets you wouldn't have thought a few minutes before she was a fucking Succubus hahaha.

A slut on the sheets, and an absolute lady on the streets.

It doesn't get better than that.

That's not something you can't teach a woman to do, and I think this is why dudes just don't talk that much in bed or "communicate" with their partners.

Over the years I've tried to replicate those experiences with lots of different women, over and over and over, to tell them "just turn your hips this way", or "do it like this"...

They just don't get it.

And may women hate this or love it... But for as much as it sounds contradicting, a woman "sluttiness" rarely correlates with a high libido, and her "former experience" is absolutely not an indicator of openness and kinkiness, which are two big factors for dudes when it comes to sex.

But yeah, all in all...

Such thing as a "good pussy" does exist, and can get a man hooked too (Lord know I was for almost a decade) but it's rare.

Extremely rare I would say.

I've been with around 80 something girls in my life, and only one of them was good enough in the sack to get me hooked. The rest were just sex, some good, some bad, but sex in the end.

Getting hooked to sex with a particular partner is something that happens more to women than men, but this is because of a combination of factors which include dudes not having standars (because of their lack of options) and like I previously mentioned too, most women sucking at sex despite they think they are awesome.

I guess a big factor is that women's attraction to a partner is fundamental when it comes to them being sexual in nature.

It must be not just a mere coincidence that my ex fiancee view me as her ideal man. She used to describe me as "painfully good looking", because according to her the first time she saw me she felt a strong acke on her chest, like if her heart was dropping to her stomach. She was so overwhelmed that she actually panicked when I approached her, and just fled away.

Funny shit, I thought she had just rejected my advance in the worst way possible haha. She sent me a friend request on Facebook a few weeks after that.

I mean, I'm not by any means ugly, I'm tall, jacked, ok face I guess, blue eyes and black hair, so it's not like all the women I've been with weren't really attracted to me or were settling or something.

But I firmly believe my ex fiancee was the girl who was the most attracted to me by far. It made a big difference to be her ideal type.

"Good dick" exists too, but that's a whole different thing.

And kid you not, make women go crazy. But batshit crazy.

toasterchild · 2024-01-17T16:41:47+00:00

This just makes sex sound so pointless and boring. Like if that is the part you focus on you are missing all the fun bits.

harmonica2 · 2024-01-17T16:31:35+00:00

One time a woman's vagina was so tight I couldn't even get in and gave up after quite a few attempts.

So I guess that would be an exception, and actually be bad pussy?

DesertShifter · 2024-01-17T16:17:50+00:00

You can absolutely tell the difference, and despite thinking its a meme I have even come across a girl with an actual loose pussy (felt less tight than others Id been with, paradoxically too because she was the shortest girl Id been with). Also, if you also have to ask women if 3 inches feels the same as 9 you probably shouldn't post ever again.

TWCDev · 2024-01-17T18:57:18+00:00

It does not all feel the same. Some is more compatible for me. I "know" what each of my partners feels like, they are different, different positions work better for different women.
I lean slightly to the left, that means I can make many women go wild by having them sit on their side (on a raised surface), feet on the left, head to the right, where I can reach their clitoris while my penis is hitting their G spot.
While this is probably true for all sex, because I'm larger (just shy of 8") and have had complaints about "hitting their cervix", I do my best to do a lot of foreplay to make the woman ready otherwise it can be uncomfortable for them, and if it's near their cycle I might choose positions to avoid hitting whatever spots are sensitive. If those positions don't align well with their canal, it's not great.

The worst, was a woman I dated for a few months who liked being fisted. It wasn't fun, I could get her off with my penis, but it was completely different from when fisting her, and that just isn't fun for me. When we ended it, I didn't mind and are still (non-sexual) friends.

When I give oral, I definitely prefer vaginas that have less things getting in the way of their clitoris. I give attention everywhere around the vagina, hips area treating it all as an erogenous zone, and some of my partners their clitoris has to be avoided because they're too sensitive and can get off from stimulation "around" it, but I still personally prefer less bits given all things being equal.

When I choose long term partners, I balance all aspects before committing. If sex parts don't align, we can be friends, if personality traits don't work out well, we can be fuck buddies, if romantic goals don't line up, we can be friends with benefits.

Lower-Director1043 · 2024-01-17T23:24:50+00:00

East asian girls have it tighter.

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-01-17T18:12:31+00:00

So just for context, I’ve had a higher than average number of partners. Cue the slut-shaming. 😂

I wouldn’t say that it’s really about the man’s dick but rather how good he is in bed. As long as a guy doesn’t have an absolutely huge dick or a very small one (bordering on a micropenis), then the size and shape itself doesn’t matter to me all that much. I’ve been with a couple guys who were bigger in size who weren’t that great in bed. Conversely, I’ve been with average-sized guys who were amazing.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-01-17T16:26:33+00:00

You can tell the difference, especially if she’s tight and not “warned up” as much as she needs to be. But it’s usually not going to be a huge difference. They all feel good.

uglysaladisugly · 2024-01-17T17:34:06+00:00

The thing is more simple than what you imply. For men, it is extremely unlikely that penetrative sex, even if quite bad, doesn't end with at least an orgasm. So, if you're horny in the sense that you want to come, sex will satisfy you anyhow, to at least that baseline.

For men, it is extremely likely that penetrative sex will not provide at least an orgasm. So if you're horny in the sense that you want to come, sex will not satisfy you to at least that baseline.

For this reason, it's quite easy to understand that when men say "all pussy feel the same", what they say is that from a pure penetrative sex point of you, they'll get at least there. Then the difference will be if the sex was meh, ok, good or mind blowing.

On the other hand, when women say there is good dick and bad dick, they say that there is minimal satisfying sex and absolutely unsatisfying sex. The "difference" is a lot clearer if the "treshold" is having sexual pleasure/orgasm than if the threshold is the amount or quality of sexual pleasure.

Sir_Spectacular · 2024-01-17T21:53:32+00:00

Well based on my own small sample size of partners over the years I agree with the guy. All pussy is good pussy and it has always felt amazing physically. From the sensation on my dick alone, I don't think I'd be able to tell any of them apart. This includes girls with different labia configurations too.

I didn't notice a difference in tightness at all, but then again I wasn't comparing them side by side or anything. These were also all younger women in their twenties with no kids, which might bias the results a little.

Substantial_Video560 · 2024-01-17T18:37:45+00:00

Pussy is pussy to me. I don't differentiate between one and the another. Saying that I rarely have sex so I'm not greatly experienced in such things.

Hatefuleight-36 · 2024-01-17T19:36:34+00:00

This is a good question, but it’s not suitable for this sub. About 80% of the men here (myself included, I will be completely honest) have never seen a vagina up close that is not a family members in real life, so they can’t really honestly answer the question.

Scarce12 · 2024-01-17T20:16:29+00:00

Men aren't looking to wife 304"s.

Ill_Conversation5351 · 2024-01-17T22:58:04+00:00

All vaginas more or less feel the same. No such thing as a good or bad vagina. It’s the woman that it’s connected to that makes for good or bad sex

Mocha636 · 2024-01-18T04:11:02+00:00

Time for me to leave this sub lol

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gntlbastard · 2024-01-17T16:19:03+00:00

I suppose the answer depends on if the men and women in your post consider what the pussy and dick are attached to or are they merely just looking at people and seeing pussies and dick? Like Michael looks at Sarah and sees a giant vag on legs and Sarah looks at Michael and sees a cock on legs?

duenebula499 · 2024-01-17T16:46:03+00:00

The difference is massive what? Michael must just be a virgin on account of being an archangel or something.

jjolteon · 2024-01-17T18:10:32+00:00

imo good dick is just like. hard lol

the thing that made my last partner actually “good at sex” was maintaining a lasting FULL erection and being able to “use it” (aka go fast/slow, hit particular parts)

he was sexually confident which undoubtedly helped with the above

cuckspace · 2024-01-17T19:23:58+00:00

I guess they feel similar, but the visuals make a difference, as well as how turned on and adventurous she is in bed. Some pussies are just prettier to look at. A pretty face, sexy hourglass body and a big round ass really heightens the experience for me. The level of wetness also makes a big difference. It’s never happened to me, but I’ve heard some women need to artificially lubricate before sex, and that would be a real turn off. So, as long as she’s wet, the physical sensation is not that different, but the whole visual, psychological and emotional experience heightens the sensation and makes some pussies feel better than others.

KayRay1994 · 2024-01-17T20:04:48+00:00

Not really - I mean, some are tighter than others, some get more wet, some taste a bit better and some feel more ‘layered’ if that makes sense, but also, I don’t think the pussy itself matters all that much if i’m being honest. If I want to just insert my penis in a vagina then cum, i can just pay for it. To me, sex is about more than just that, it’s about the intimacy, the personal nature of it, what makes the particular person i’m with go, and so on. Sure, penetration is 100% a part of it, but that alone frankly doesn’t mean nearly as much as I do look at the whole picture

Ok-Assistant-1220 · 2024-01-17T21:52:41+00:00

If You are speaking about sexual selection from the point of view of evolución, both stances are right. For men and women, goals of "passing your genes to the future generation", are achieved Best for the man if he has a Lot of sexual partners, SO to have many kids, and Best for the woman if she chooses a strong, caring and protective father for her children, filtering unacring or weak men.

GrassToucher29 · 2024-01-17T21:55:51+00:00

dicks definitely all feel different

GrassToucher29 · 2024-01-17T21:55:59+00:00

dicks definitely all feel different

YtBlue · 2024-01-17T22:50:52+00:00

I find that "good dick" isn't really a thing. It's more of a mental thing. I'd put it down one week and she wouldn't be feel it. But the next girl would love it. The girls who loved it tended to just like me more.

ClassroomSlight3215 · 2024-01-18T03:31:03+00:00

Dick feels like nothing. Just like something is there. But I can orgasm on top of any dick so that doesn’t matter. The good part is if he knows how to turn on a woman by either the stuff he says way beforehand like hours and hours and if he can keep that up.

KorinTowerFreeloader · 2024-01-18T07:15:34+00:00

Don't really care about the depth because if a pussy is too shallow, you are hurting her cervix, and it doesn't feel great. However, width is important. That's the loose/tight issue, and it's key to what it feels like. Sometimes it's like pumping air, and other times it squeezes your dick real hard, and it feels awesome. You can train your muscles to improve them, but of course, every woman is different and naturally more/less tight to begin with. That's why a lot of men prefer petite women. In my experience, they tend to be smaller down there.

Most-Imagination8673 · 2024-01-18T09:00:27+00:00

There is absolutely a difference in good pussy and bad pussy

lilcrashmat · 2024-01-18T10:22:24+00:00

You do feel difference but if it's like the friend was describing, like it's a different size shape and you can feel it but it doesn't really matter to me. I've been with quite a wide spectrum of size and shape and it's doesn't matter. What does matter is how willing a guy is to make sure you enjoy it.

Title	Sexual Selection in Men and Women
Author	ConsiderationThen154
Upvotes	34
Comments	225
Date	January 17, 2024 4:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/19907os/sexual_selection_in_men_and_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/sexual-selection-in-men-and-women.1243224 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243224

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