I think women should refuse to pay for anything on a date

ComfortableJeans · 2025-12-16T09:45:33+00:00

If that's what you want, I have no issue with that.

So long as you're letting this person know what you're about before hand, I see no issue.

You've stuck to your principles, and they get to decide for themselves if they want to be involved with someone like that.

Everybody wins.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2025-12-16T14:05:15+00:00

conservative women may refuse to as their lifestyle matches that...

liberal/progressive women should always pay as it matches their lifestyle...

if you op prefer to act conservative as a moderate person feel free to do so...

Muscletov · 2025-12-16T09:48:37+00:00

If a guy has a history of freely and enthusiastically paying for dates with other women while he wants to split the bill with you, you'd have a point.

Tylikcat · 2025-12-17T18:18:20+00:00

People seem to be taking this awfully seriously?

The_WankingBuddha · 2025-12-16T09:34:47+00:00

You could always get a dog if you want complete devotion, you know.

eluusive · 2025-12-16T10:12:20+00:00

I pay for dates since I'm the one doing the inviting out. But, people aren't taught any etiquette or follow any of it anymore.

A fair bit of paying for dates is "honest signaling" that you could provide as a partner. But, this also presumed that Stacy wasn't stringing along 5 guys at once. In the age of "rosters" and "plates" everything is basically broken if you're trying to find a life partner.

I'm over paying for dates when the majority of people don't have shared intentions.

middleoftheroad133 · 2025-12-16T21:00:25+00:00

Why is everyone not understanding her clear sarcasm and parodying men who are angry when a woman has casual sex with a man before him won’t have sex with him

Why is this taking people so long to get?

WanabeInflatable · 2025-12-16T09:50:21+00:00

Just say this in advance before date.

RaidenTheBlue · 2025-12-16T15:29:18+00:00

Every girl that didn’t want to pursue anything further with me down the line let me pay on the first date or 2. Every girl who liked me and either became my girlfriend or came very close payed their share or very near their share on the first date and most going forward. My most consistent IOI when dating is if she doesn’t make me fund every activity or meal. So if I ever pay in full after dozens of first dates that follow this pattern, I’m basically a chump who’s paying extra money to never see someone again

IgorXY · 2025-12-16T09:50:42+00:00

Men often tell here how humiliating it is to be treated "worse" than previous partners. I think i should learn from them.

Too late, sis. You most likely paid for yourself on a date at some point in your life, so no self respecting man will pay for you, when some Chad got away with not paying.

ProtectionKooky4764 · 2025-12-16T09:36:33+00:00

Why would you settle for him. You have a choice. Walk away.

TrumpFucksKidz · 2025-12-16T10:38:20+00:00

I think women should refuse to pay for anything on a date

I think women should choose what they prefer so that the man can make an informed decision.

Men often tell here how humiliating it is to be treated "worse" than previous partners.

You're leaving out an important bit. We don't want to be treated worse while giving equivalent or greater investment.

I believe that most men payed for a date, so why should i split cost when he had different standards for another?

Are you willing to give the same level of investment that those women i paid on dates for did?

If so I'll happily take you out to a $300 dinner. Then, because you are willing to give me what those other women gave me, you'll come back to my hotel and get fucked in the ass, right?

Right?

RIGHT?

I want complete devotion and desire so i want him to pay for everything.

Those are two separate things. A man can pay for everything without being devoted to you. A man can desire you without paying for a thing.

If you want it all, are you prepared to give him everything he wants?

Probably not. Most women (especially ones that talk like you) don't think that women should offer anything to men outside of whatever is convenient to her in the moment.

They say that they won't, but i'm sure they will break the rules for Stacy, why should i compromise for anything less?

They say that they won't, but i'm sure they will break the rules for Stacy

This is not something that is in dispute. If your market value is lower, you pay a higher price.

Red pill 101.

why should i compromise for anything less?

You don't have to. Do what your market value allows.

I'll say this: "if you could command it, you wouldn't have to fight so hard demanding it."

Putting resources in a man is always a risk, we need to vet better (as they themselves told us), so Stacy treatment or nothing.

You set your own terms, but you can't demand us to accept them.

A lot of women forget that "nothing" is always an option when negotiating a voluntary relationship and many men will be happy giving you the "nothing" option.

I don't want to be settled for

Bad news cupcake - most people are settled for, man or woman. People who demand that all of their check marks be checked often end up alone.

What's wild is I know what you did with this post because you were talking a bit tongue-in-cheek, but there are women who actually talk like this, and think this, and move through the dating world with this mentality. You think you played some giant Uno reverse card but all you did was allow me to demonstrate how TRP understands these things.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2025-12-16T14:10:28+00:00

I was always 50/50 until I met my wife.

Also, I think men generally give women Stacy treatment, otherwise why would fatties have such inflated egos these days?

SecondEldenLord · 2025-12-16T10:05:53+00:00

Women don't pay anything anyway, and if they will, usually there are two case scenarios that can happen: 1. If the guy is attractive and makes her pay, she will still go out with him 2. If the guy is average and makes her pay, she won't give him a second date.

Emotional_Meal748 · 2025-12-16T14:14:04+00:00

If both parties abided by this, he’d pay for the date, she wouldn’t make him wait. No one is humiliated

Barely-moral · 2025-12-16T09:43:01+00:00

I think women should refuse to pay for anything on a date

Ok let's see the reasoning.

Men often tell here how humiliating it is to be treated "worse" than previous partners. I think i should learn from them.

So far so good.

I believe that most men payed for a date, so why should i split cost when he had different standards for another?

I agree. But that only applies to men that actually payed for dates in the past. It doesn't apply to men that never payed.

I am all for wanting the best treatment your partner ever gave to previous partners. The thing is, those previous partners/relationships/dates must actually exist.

I want complete devotion and desire so i want him to pay for everything. They say that they won't, but i'm sure they will break the rules for Stacy, why should i compromise for anything less?

That is the difference between you and I. I don't assume a woman would do something. I actually find out if she did before I date her.

And they would've waited for Stacy too, so why should i give anything before he proves that he actually likes me?

See above.

Putting resources in a man is always a risk, we need to vet better (as they themselves told us), so Stacy treatment or nothing.

Of course you need to vet better. Assuming instead of actually finding out about a man's behavior in previous relationships is not the way. If anything assuming without finding out the truth is shitty vetting.

I don't want to be settled for because i was the easiest option for him or he couldn't get the woman he wanted and stayed with me.

Good. Your way is not the way.

xxTx-Toymanxx · 2025-12-16T15:49:09+00:00

Awesome, ill pay for the groceries, you get in the kitchen and cook it.

Wait? You don't want to cook for a date??

Great, stop expecting gender role treatment if your not willing to fill a gender role.

Everyone has a choice. We dont break rules for "Stacy ". We pay for partners that show us they are worthy of that investment. Why should we pay for anything before we know you want to date us and not just want a free meal?

WE dont want to be settled for. Your argument is circular.

No_Teacher_3313 · 2025-12-16T10:22:15+00:00

I see that commenters here aren’t understanding the point you’re making with your post.

captaindestucto · 2025-12-16T09:56:16+00:00

Some of us don't want to be treated like a utility figure. That goes regardless of how attractive someone is.

SovereignFemmeFudge · 2025-12-18T10:14:54+00:00

u/burbnbougie, hay Queen B!!! This post is pure delicious GOLD DUST and exposes both the pure hypocrisy AND the pure selfish, self serving nature of the rhetoric of "cheap, low effort dates" and "50/50" with a male who approached you, most likely as a stranger with the sole intention of you know what. Often regardless of respecting or even liking the woman in question. Please share this one if you have time, I know you're swamped! Thank you xxx

free_da_guys1107 · 2025-12-16T09:59:32+00:00

we don't care 😂

alchemicore · 2025-12-16T11:48:55+00:00

Okay? If you want a man to pay for you, then stop trying to date men who are out of your league. It's really that simple. This guy will pay for Stacey because he's attracted to her.

Men often tell here how humiliating it is to be treated "worse" than previous partners.

You indirectly proved their point when you made this post. Women will bend over backwards to please men who are out of their league and not willing to commit, then demand princess treatment from whatever poor schmuck ends up with their damaged goods.

If a guy is completely unwilling to pay for you, but is willing to pay for other women, then what the hell are you even doing? Why are you going on dates with him? He's not going to marry you, he doesn't want to take care of you... He's out of your league. Maybe he wants to have sex with you, but that's it.

So what even is your plan? To poke holes in his condoms and force fatherhood onto him? It must be, because that's the only way you two will end up in anything resembling a long-term relationship.

James_M_Croft · 2025-12-16T15:16:59+00:00

Sure. You can do that. But chances are. You gonna be vetting for guys who don't wanna date you, you know?

Look. I and many of my RP friends have no issue paying for everything for our plates. We insist on it. We consider it a given considering we are just there for sex. We are putting our best impression. So paying for it is a given. But doesn't mean we actually wanna date her. Many guys don't even like her. Just her body.

Also. More romantically minded men care more about what women do or think. To these romantic guys the women who refuses be show good behavior like splitting the bill, being quiet or showing compassion may thing you are not what they are looking for. Many decising to put such women in the "sex only" set too.

Do you have the confidence necessary in your other attributes as to decide to forgo the splitting of the bill? It may not affect a 9/10 in looks but it will affect a 6/10. Is paying for what you consume this costly for women? I dont think so.At least in the first date or two. But you do you.

brassbuffalo · 2025-12-16T15:46:56+00:00

I only pay for girls I want something casual with. If I make you go 50/50 it means I actually want something serious.

I paid when I was immature and insecure but now I know money can't get a relationship. Now I know better so it's not me treating you worse it's me protecting myself

Here's the Lilith classic: If you'd like to have your date pay for you it's obvious you only care about money. If it's so important you should have made it clear you want a sugar relationship from the start.

ViolentShallot · 2025-12-16T19:55:37+00:00

Here lies the issue:

You want to be treated like an extremely attractive, fit woman, without actually putting in the effort to become an attractive, fit woman.

Now, other women that aren't extremely attractive or fit, still get what they want, via being less entitled. But you don't want to act your looks and weight.

So you tell all women that they should act entitled. That way, maybe you at least don't feel this alone in your misery. You know, misery loves company.

Right now, if you were a guy, you'd be an obese dude that refuses to improve his looks, confidence or charisma, advising other men not to pay attention to women who refuse to fuck on the first date. Because it torments him that other people get laid.

So, let me ask you something: When I was with an extremely attractive, slim, petite, sweet and beautiful model and actress, she never argued about going 50/50.

How are you better

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Sh110_debug · 2025-12-16T12:30:59+00:00

The problem is that you’re putting moral virtue up against a woman’s looks. That’s sexist—toward both women and men.

It’s not some marketplace where prettier women get more spending. Some men pay for everything, but they’re after a specific type: a virtuous woman who takes care of home and family. They call that a “virtue” because they stick to old-school roles.

But as a liberal woman, why would you expect that? Do you enjoy keeping your money? Men still want to keep theirs, no matter what.

If that’s what you want, you don’t need to be extra attractive—you just need the moral qualities they’re looking for.

ProtectionKooky4764 · 2025-12-16T14:51:08+00:00

I’m new to this sub. Do ye all expect men to pay for (or the vast majority) all your meals and dates? If so,what country are ye living in. This is so bizarre to me.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-12-16T15:37:45+00:00

If you really believe this, then state it upfront / put it in your dating profile.

Local-Willingness784 · 2025-12-16T20:08:38+00:00

if the guy was going around paying for 5 stars restaurants meals for other women and is splitting the bill of random food for you i guess it kind of makes sense? is that the point of this post? am i missing something?

Afraid-Night3036 · 2025-12-19T06:06:32+00:00

I’m not sure that I can debate this as it’s not really an argument so much as a statement of intent.

Have fun with your free dinners, I guess?

JezzaxD · 2025-12-19T08:06:25+00:00

Lmao this thread is amazing and puts OP's solipsism on full display. ME ME ME 😂 Though upon seeing her previous posts here, its either a ragebait troll or a feminist.

SmirchaelMiconish · 2025-12-16T17:47:36+00:00

I know you're making a point, but in that spirit, you should do this and be prepared to date only;

-Very traditional men

-Men who will be a john until they get some nook and then book

-Men who want to be a john indefinitely

So all fine men.

Good luck in your endeavors.

MalsOutOfChicago · 2025-12-16T09:40:10+00:00

Men often tell here how humiliating it is to be treated "worse" than previous partners.

When men say this, I think they're referring to treatment or activities that they believe the woman they're pursuing would have enjoyed with a previous partner. So I think your comparison is off if you really are trying to make a point because many of the men who say "how humiliating it is to be treated "worse" than previous partners" also only pay because they believe the woman expects or requires them to do so.

That being said I'm kinda new to this sub so maybe the perspective is different here than what I think

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-12-16T13:03:28+00:00

why should I give anything before he proves that he actually likes me?

The flaw in your argument, as others have pointed out, is that it's not a reciprocal arrangement.

Why should the man give anything before you prove that you actually like him? Does this mean you'll have sex before going on the "date" and the date is only for him to prove how much he likes you? A lot of men would (and have) taken that deal lol.

If the above is not the case, then you're looking for an asymmetrical relationship. Which a lot of women are expecting, and continue to expect even as options for reciprocal relationships continue to run out.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-12-16T13:32:52+00:00

Well, it makes sense in a man’s case, since he is actually spending money. A woman that was giving it to other men did so freely, so a man might not want what others got for free is why men say that.

BTW a woman paying for her stuff isn’t putting resources in a man, that is her paying her own way. Also, men are already expected to pay, whether the woman is knockout or not, so not sure why you are saying this when it’s already the expectation and has been for many years.

So, whether she is a knockout or not, men are paying more than not. People settle all the time, especially men since it is very hard for most of them to date. Even still he could treat the woman well and still find her attractive enough to start a family with.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-12-16T13:53:17+00:00

Maybe makes sense on an individual level, but the main complaint is about the overall social norm. Why should the norm be men paying if men and women are now economic and political equals?

SnooSprouts9046 · 2025-12-16T14:02:44+00:00

But are you Stacy though

Lemon_gecko · 2025-12-16T15:18:45+00:00

Sure, if a woman is hot or young she definitely shouldn't have to pay for a date.. but if you don't have pretty privilege then it will cost you

NiaMiaBia · 2025-12-16T14:13:52+00:00

Yeah, to me - the whole “who pays” is moot because it’s an easy disqualifier. If someone asks me out, and wants me to pay - NO BUENO. It’s rude, IMO. My homegirls and I pay for each other all the time (with no strings attached, mind you).

I 100% agree with OP.

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Mela_ninja · 2025-12-16T10:04:17+00:00

The effort part is accurate. However you assume that all men pay for everything in a date. Nowadays it’s not necessarily the case. I personally know a few men who’ve never payed for the whole date.

Another issue that I see of people demanding things is that they aren’t necessarily okay with things being demanded of them. Would you come clean his spot? Make him food? Etc

Similar to those men that demand a traditional woman but aren’t okay with doing their part (funding that lifestyle).

But the beauty of dating is that you can demand whatever. Just be aware of the cons of what you wish for.

John_Oakman · 2025-12-16T11:12:06+00:00

The males who this will work on are passively extracting social legitimacy value out of [the woman they're attempting to court], which may or may not be a much worse thing [for said woman].

Complete-Record5167 · 2025-12-16T13:58:32+00:00

That is fine if that is what you want. But just like you love to say a woman doesn’t owe a man anything, he doesn’t owe you a meal, a date, or a relationship.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2025-12-17T07:18:40+00:00

I mean I’m all for women being aware of the pump and dump from chads and being aware of how the market works.

guess this is supposed to be a gotcha of some sort, of how man believe women treat more attractive individuals better, and I mean yes your correct in being able to demand what sort of treatment you’d like and should probably be better for women in the long run.

Just don’t be surprised if the chad in question gets up and leaves you immediately, for a different women or doesn’t wanna take you out in the first place since he’s used to getting his way easy and probably will continue to at whatever stop is next stop, as he’s also free to demand whatever treatment he wants in a relationship as well and usually has the looks and status to backup said claims.

whether this is satire or not I think this is actually a good message to be telling women.

Particular_Trade6308 · 2025-12-17T23:51:40+00:00

This is obviously a gotcha OP trying to parody “why should I date a woman who made me wait when she banged Chad in the bathroom”?

You can never pay if you want, however you will lose some guys who like you but feel like they’re getting taken advantage of. If you are willing to pay that price go for it.

Expensive-Care1746 · 2025-12-16T13:52:34+00:00

If you were hot enough you’d know OP and be able to get that on demand. If you just want it to feel validated it you should just say you expect it and the guys who don’t want to simply won’t go out with you and you’ll be left with the guys you want.

I think women should refuse to pay for anything on a date

Comments

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RIGHT?"

Title	I think women should refuse to pay for anything on a date
Author	Lemon_gecko
Upvotes	0
Comments	335
Date	December 16, 2025 9:31 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pnxrpq/i_think_women_should_refuse_to_pay_for_anything/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-think-women-should-refuse-to-pay-for-anything-on.1568974 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568974