Some people are not meant to find a partner

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2026-01-05T20:47:28+00:00

The modern dating scene is completely removed from "natural selection."

Ultimately, "natural selection" has been completely disrupted by globalization and the increasing population.

The destruction of small local communities has also been greatly harmed by the decline in third-place positions and the diminishing influence of the institution of reputation.

For a very long time, it was primarily what kind of person you were (whether you were kind, whether you did your job, whether you showed empathy), and if you did all of these things, you would have a very high chance of getting the most out of life (and your partner, too). Back then, the "bad boys" in e weren't so rosy.

DustImpossible2177 · 2026-01-06T17:46:46+00:00

Yeah, good luck selling this, buddy.

"Don't be angry military aged male that you've been selected out of the gene pool! Understand that this is your lot life. Now politely and quietly accept it, while everyone else is having a good time."

lol

2026-01-05T19:53:06+00:00

Nah I think through socialization and change in culture it’s possible to make more people romantically happy and partnered.

This-Register · 2026-01-06T00:48:34+00:00

I honestly agree. It's not very fair but just like how you don't have a choice in being born poor or rich, you don't have a choice on whether love will find you or not. Some people are just lucky like that. Be prepared to be bombarded by naysayers cause people hate when you mention "luck", nothing worse than knowing your chances were favorable because of no doing of your own .

IgorXY · 2026-01-05T18:30:55+00:00

At the end of the day, humans are still animals, and as such are still subjected to natural selection.

Our entire existence is a fight against natural selection, you are wearing artificial layers of thermal protections in an artificialy made lair eating food that you did not have to hunt or gather. When we get sick we take medicine instead of just accepting out fate. Who are you to speak about denying nature?

What you refer to as "natural selection" is nothing but a just world fallacy for social issues and bad luck.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2026-01-05T18:24:41+00:00

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Zabadoodude · 2026-01-05T21:51:25+00:00

There are lots of things that are subject to natural selection that we actively fight against to make people's lives better. Natural selection says if you're a weak baby, you should die, but we medically intervene to reduce our infant mortality to almost 0. Evolutionarily, If you're past your reproductive years there isn't a point for you live much longer, so most humans would die off before they reached 60. But we still give give granny medications and surgery to help her live longer. Why should we view people being lonely as any different?

There may not be a great solution to combat loneliness without taking away other people's freedom, and that's valid, but it has nothing to do with natural selection, or what people are "meant" to do. There's nothing "natural" about scrolling through hundreds of potential suitors on an app either.

CliffPR · 2026-01-06T00:43:19+00:00

There's a lot of things in the natural world that we have decided don't work in civilization.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2026-01-05T18:45:31+00:00

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Funny_Bet_2820 · 2026-01-05T19:38:17+00:00

some people choose not to have kids and can still get laid. So, I don't understand why natural selection has anything to do with finding love. Everyone deserves love.

ThorLives · 2026-01-05T19:08:12+00:00

You have to understand that natural selection is not necessarily a force which benefits humanity, the improvement of the species, or species in general.

People like to use "natural selection" in a tautological way to say that everyone who reproduced was supposed to reproduce and everyone who didn't wasn't supposed to reproduce. Any evidence that it isn't true is met with a religious-like "I assume that they had traits that were bad". A while back, I heard a guy talk about how he went to a religious meeting in college they were trying to explain "why do bad things happen to good people" the religious people actually argued that those "good people" must've had some kind of serious hidden sin which nobody knows about - i.e. they weren't actually good people. Your mom died from cancer? Sorry, she deserved it. Your friend was killed by a drunk driver? Maybe they were secretly a serial killer. They guy thought it was a total cop-out, because that's what it was - a bunch of completely unfounded assumptions to "justify" how things turned-out. It's really no different from what people like to do with their "natural selection" argument, by saying that people didn't deserve to reproduce.

The fact of the matter is that natural selection can lead to selection of a lot of bad traits and can make the entire species worse-off.

There's a reason that chimpanzees are still living like homeless people in the forest - they did not prioritize intelligence in their mating choices. That's not a good thing. Chimpanzees have 1/3rd the brain size and a fraction of the intelligence because they did not prioritize the right things in mating. As a result, they are stuck eating termites and wandering around forests.

And lets also point out that criminals have higher numbers of children than the general population. Sometimes it seems like humanity is hell-bent on making sure subsequent generations are stupider, meaner, and more selfish than the previous one.

Convicted criminal offenders had more children than individuals never convicted of a criminal offense. Criminal offenders also had more reproductive partners, were less often married, more likely to get remarried if ever married, and had more often contracted a sexually transmitted disease than non-offenders. Importantly, the increased reproductive success of criminals was explained by a fertility increase from having children with several different partners. We conclude that criminality appears to be adaptive in a contemporary industrialized country, and that this association can be explained by antisocial behavior being part of an adaptive alternative reproductive strategy. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/263281358_Criminal_offending_as_part_of_an_alternative_reproductive_strategy_Investigating_evolutionary_hypotheses_using_Swedish_total_population_data

NiaNia-Data · 2026-01-05T18:28:43+00:00

as a civilized society we should work on preventing this outcome. Being natural does not mean good. It is society's obligation to make sure its people are taken care of.

Werevulvi · 2026-01-05T21:03:33+00:00

I've seen plenty of far below average couples get married and have far below average kids, so I don't think humans are all that susceptible to natural selection. Humans have the unique ability to wanna help each other, and other species. This is why we have medicine, plastic surgery, all sorts of weight loss and fitness help like coaches, programs, dietitians, etc, and dating apps. This makes us to some extent bypass natural selection.

But yes, deep down we are still animals, and if we don't feel attraction, we won't select, no matter how much help we (as a species) offer to the more disadvantaged. But, being human you do still have a higher chance of finding a mate even if you have disadvantaged genetics, a disability, an addiction, mental health issues, etc, compared to other animals. It is harsher out there in the wild, even if it's still not perfect.

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xxTx-Toymanxx · 2026-01-05T19:47:29+00:00

Heres the thing your missing. choice. In nature and natural selection, some of the expectations or standards people are using to make those choices are just that a choice. In nature and even at the dawn of humanity being able to breed was based on who was the strongest or the better opportunist.

we could return to the "natural" state where strong men just took who they want but I do not think that would be the best idea.

DGenerationMC · 2026-01-06T08:18:44+00:00

"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Obviously, Dylan Thomas' poem is about facing death but I think it can apply to this topic, as well.

Bulky-Throat-3055 · 2026-01-06T00:45:12+00:00

Why should my taxes pay for a single mother and her kids? They arent my obligation and since I will never have any why should I care? Under the current system the only choices I have are being bitter and paying or not working and being homeless so I can't pay, do you see the problem here?

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2026-01-05T18:52:03+00:00

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Livid-Log7463 · 2026-01-05T22:46:50+00:00

The only thing here is that it is exclusively men who are ever excluded from partnering, women don’t have that possibility, unless you are counting them doing so by their own volition.

anewleaf1234 · 2026-01-05T18:28:53+00:00

I would not say that they aren't meant to, but some men make poor choices when it comes to dating that affects their chances at being successful.

AccomplishedDot7092 · 2026-01-05T19:27:46+00:00

Many people try to become the best version of themselves, but still fail to find a partner. Maybe it's on them, but I believe a lot of guys and gals have just been dealt a bad hand from the start. Not everyone was "meant" to have a relationship/have sex, and trying to deny this is like denying nature itself.

Being the best version of yourself doesn't work if you don't improve your social and dating skills. As a man that means approaching women, flirting, asking women out, and building sexual tension. If you're both the best version of yourself and you do those things you will find a partner. If you put all your effort into looks maxing you won't.

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GKilat · 2026-01-06T03:11:46+00:00

Hard pill to swallow but this is correct. If you look at this in an evolutionary perspective, then it seems bad. But then you remember that great scientists like Isaac Newton died a virgin and Einstein is just a shitty romantic partner because both of them focused more on science. Some people are just bad at romance but good with something else and that's something they should focus on instead of forcing it because of societal expectations.

Agreeable_Poem_7278 · 2026-01-06T11:29:33+00:00

While it's true that not everyone will find a partner, it's important to remember that circumstances can change. People often grow and evolve, and what may seem like a lack of compatibility today could shift over time. The key is to remain open to opportunities and personal development.

alexoid182 · 2026-01-06T14:05:29+00:00

Depressing. I wouldnt say theyre not meant to find a partner. I would say that their chances are greatly reduced, particularly for a man.

Stunning_Duck_373 · 2026-01-07T12:01:23+00:00

Lying flat.

kingjaffetai · 2026-01-11T20:55:58+00:00

I've pretty much already accepted the fact that I'm gonna die alone. I'm content with it at this point. Doesn't help that I have Aspergers and severely socially inept. Some people got it and some people don't. It is what it is. It's just not in the script for me. No reason to stress and worry about it.

commentasaurus1989 · 2026-01-12T18:54:35+00:00

ITT: people not understanding what natural selection is.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-01-05T19:16:53+00:00

What do you mean by "meant"?

You could ask most women if they've ever been with someone they weren't "meant" to be with and they'd say yes of course.

There is no "meant to" "not meant to" morality judgement here. Bottom line is if you have the capacity to type a reddit post, you have the capacity to find a partner. She may not meet your standards, and there's a plethora of resources available to you to improve yourself and your options.

Just as men accuse women of ignoring x% of men, men do the same thing to women.

DriverInitial8305 · 2026-01-05T20:29:20+00:00

I agree. Relationships are privileges not rights. You’re not owed a relationship

mashedturnip · 2026-01-05T22:45:35+00:00

I don’t believe there’s any proof of destiny or fate, so no

YeaNobody · 2026-01-06T02:48:44+00:00

But honestly....it's also because some people are so shitty that they don't deserve one as well.

belongtomee · 2026-01-05T18:51:35+00:00

In pretty much every species, a large portion of males go their entire lives never mating.

The problem now is that we have an excess of expendable undesirable men in society who believe they are owed access to women.

Substantial_Video560 · 2026-01-05T23:20:27+00:00

100% agree! I honestly believe your right. It's difficult to explain but a lot of men just don't have that something that attracts women. It's sad but the truth.

My advice to such men would be to focus those energies on more worthwhile pursuits in life than pursuing the opposite sex.

Kaleb_Bunt · 2026-01-05T21:32:49+00:00

Perhaps, but if you believe this is you, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Title	Some people are not meant to find a partner
Author	EverhardWriting
Upvotes	143
Comments	255
Date	January 5, 2026 6:20 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q4th0i/some_people_are_not_meant_to_find_a_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/some-people-are-not-meant-to-find-a-partner.1570490 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570490

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