Discussion: Research finds that women do not prefer "nice" guys; in fact they prefer "bullies" and psychopaths

-OpportunityCost · 2019-08-24T20:57:54+00:00

Feel bad for the men who never learn this. Sad that men will be nice, respectful, and a gentleman and will never learn that it won't help them. Thank god I discovered TRP early.

Cissnowflake · 2019-08-24T21:01:20+00:00

One of the hardest things for me in dating has been learning to understand that women don’t want from me what I want from women, and to give them what they actually want.

I want women to be pleasant, pleasing, reassuring, and very interested in how they feel.

And my nature is to want to be like that for women. A nice, pleasant, man who makes them feel good about themselves.

I failed a lot with women.

It’s been hard, but I’ve gotten a LOT better at giving women what they actually want. And I’ve had a lot more success since then.

I leave them on read. I am mysterious and uncommunicative. I let them know they aren’t that important to me. I drive them crazy. I’m selfish. I tease them hard.

Again, not the way I wanted to be. But absolutely what they seem to want, based on my success.

I’d rather be an all-out nice and caring man. But my experience is that is NOT sexually arousing to women, in any way.

eyewant · 2019-08-24T18:37:29+00:00

I find it almost kinda sad that humans are attracted to this sort of stuff. It's kinda like how predatory and cutthroat businesses are the ones which are most successful, not the moral ones.

sogol1990 · 2019-08-25T03:28:55+00:00

first of all,we should consider a lot of other hidden factors,for example good looking people are mostly assholes or assholes are charismatic(once I read a research about psychopaths having more testosterone and also having a more symetric face than other people), men who are taller with more testosterone are more aggressiveness and autistic. also a lot of asshole seem more genuine than nice people, it looks like all the worst they can be is obvious and there is no hidden danger in them, while a lot of nice people have a threshold and will turn out absolute maniacs and jerks after a while, the disappointment after realizing their true nature is horrible, it seems nice people are nice because they are weak, I have seen how once I realize a powerful man who is aware of dangers acts nice and considerate ;my attraction to him has skyrocket! being a little pessimistic is required to be aware of dangers(and that makes a lot of people assholes), women want to be protected by powerful men, since the most powerful is always the jerk, they want to be protected by the most dangerous person so they feel the safest.
if you want to attract women by being nice, just show that your niceness is not the result of you being weak.

shonenhikada · 2019-08-25T11:22:45+00:00

Psychiatrist can even tell you that women tend to be attracted to men who are psychopaths. It's no surprise to everyone who looks at the world clearly really. The only people in denial of this are women and blue pills who continue to believe women prefer nice men.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-08-24T19:59:42+00:00

Lemme ‘splain something to you and everyone in this thread.

Women are just as egotistical as men are when it comes to sex and attraction. Women also like egotistical men because those men are on the higher end of the social dominance hierarchy. Those on top are the ones that are surviving, not the meek quiet guy who lets everyone walk all over them and then complain about nobody appreciating them for existing.

What goes on inside a woman’s head when she sees a guy like this is “that guy is going places so he gets my juices flowing,” and also tying into that subconsciously, “that guy probably has a lot of testosterone and will be able to protect me and our offspring when necessary.”

Also, I wonder how much of what you listed as women finding attractive isn’t simply an ego trip for them. When you say that women find the attractive yet arrogant douches who seem to be indifferent to those women’s existences, this sparks a massive desire from women to “peacock” in an attempt to get that man’s attention. Why?

Ego.

“If that guy thinks I’m sexually desirable, then I really must be that attractive.” This is why the term “league” exists in the dating world, and why other people can be “out of your league.”

Let’s not kid ourselves. At the end of the day, the world revolves around our own existence and all wants and desires projected outward are merely to suit our own interests. It’s never about others. Always about ourselves.

Ergo, women go after hot douchebags because those guys are the most likely to provide them with the type of life that they want, and ensure that they live to see it.

Isolated_Aura · 2019-08-24T19:48:09+00:00

Obviously, manipulative people are going to be more successful at getting what they want. The entire point is that people who are manipulative are successful because the other person doesn't know at first that they're being manipulative. The guy comes across as nice and charming and honest. It's only later, after he's successfully gotten what he wanted, that the fact he's an asshole or abusive is revealed.

I'd add that men preferring women who are "nice" and then describing that as "cooperative, peaceful," etc. is also indicative of men preferring partners who are compliant and passive. Not sure if that's really a great thing.

Believeinyourflyness · 2019-08-25T13:54:23+00:00

BuT tRp Is MySoGynistiC!!!

flamingoinghome · 2019-08-24T21:39:08+00:00

Did you even READ these studies?

A huge chunk of them were about a personality trait called "responsiveness", which men like in early dating stages, but women less so. Responsiveness has nothing to do with being kind or a moral person; it's a completely amoral trait. I'd suspect women are less into it because it pattern-matches to thirst/desperation, while thirsty/desperate women are less of a trope.

ADHD does not make someone a bully, psychopath, or anything of the sort. It's another morally-neutral trait.

Then you get to aggression--again, a morally-neutral trait! Being aggressive is not the same thing as being cruel; while you can argue a correlation, some of the most aggressive people I know are also the friendliest--the "howdy, neighbor!" types.

The bullying stuff is the closest you get to a point (although you must remember that people do change over the courses of their lives, and furthermore, someone with a successful bullying career will likely be an adept code-switcher), but even then there's correlation/causation issues. Are people inclined to become bullies if they've always had abundance? I've observed that--rich kids, ya know? And are multiple sexual partners due to being very attractive, or all your romantic prospects dumping you quickly, or a combination of the two?

wtknight · 2019-08-24T19:18:27+00:00

If you care about quantity over quality, then yeah, being dark triad pays off.

meeselbon573 · 2019-08-24T19:45:59+00:00

Nice compilation.

JustRuss79 · 2019-08-25T01:12:21+00:00

I think in general, physically attractive men tend to be more self-centered, egotistic, bully, and / or low-key psychotic. This partly comes from growing up beautiful... they act this way because there has never been a downside to being beautiful. They always get away with more because they are beautiful.

So...its more that women like men that are attractive, and overlook things that are red flags. I don't think women would find an ugly bully attractive for being a bully.

it's a total package thing.

However... mimicking the traits of an attractive bully/psycho/self-centered egotistical bastard... can work short term.

Mostly... if you didn't used to be attractive, and now you are, if you don't have the confidence and mindset to go with it, you won't score as much as the guys that grew up that way and have always been attractive.

Boobear3 · 2019-08-24T22:20:56+00:00

I hate to be all cliche but doesn’t attractiveness matter more? An attractive nice guy seems like he’d win a lot more favor than the ugly or average looking bully. Looking back all of the average/ugly dudes were really nice and warm to girls and did well cause they made girls feel good and safe around them. I really can’t remember any ugly or even average looking mean dudes who got laid a ton..

skystar86 · 2019-08-24T19:25:13+00:00

If you are a nice guy in the non ironic way.. You are moral, well mannered and don't engage in anti social behavior, you should really stay away from women as far as you can.

Women walk all over men like this, anticipate the blow and look for alternatives to marriage and romantic love.

IAMA124 · 2019-08-24T18:34:59+00:00

How sad

kandyapplez · 2019-08-24T20:32:04+00:00

lets see the socioeconomic breakdown of these "Bullies and psychopaths" lol

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-08-24T23:42:10+00:00

my research also has shown this lol

Malarki101 · 2019-08-24T18:41:42+00:00

Once I got broken up with and didn't give a shit, I started acting like a distant jerk. I cared so much about my partner in my relationship, I lost the ability to have any emotional investment.

I got laid so much, I had to balance time with several girls. I didn't do a great job, I once had two girls come over at the same time, one showed up randomly, the other was a planned Netflix and chill night. I didn't care at all, but I expected them both to leave angrily. Nope. Turned into a threesome...Girls are kinda self-destructive. I consider myself a monster compared to the lovey-dovey person I once was. I never lie, though, and I'm not deceptive. I tell girls I am not boyfriend material.

pnadlerlaw · 2019-08-24T18:34:03+00:00

In a related story: water, wet.

balancetime · 2019-08-24T19:14:17+00:00

This matches my experience, especially with women in their early 20s. Because of my stressful career path, I am objectively more of a "mean" person now than I was years ago, but I do better with women. Not much has changed with me physically or personality-wise; I always did OK since people have said I'm easy to talk to, but after I became a bit of a prick, I found that women would be much more forward with me. Just my anecdote though.

A common argument I hear is that the nicer guys are much more likely to avoid asking girls out, which could also be true. But I've also experienced and witnessed this stuff in reality, so it's a mix of everything I guess.

Hemingwinehouse · 2019-08-25T06:26:27+00:00

Notice how Game of Thrones is so accurate in this, specifically Daenerys mating.

First guy is a bit too masculine for her tastes but she eventually start to like it. The 2nd (her bodyguard) is the one of the bigger jerks around and she loves it. At the end she "settles" with a nice guy just because he's the King of North. Sir Jonas, older but handsome, brave, man of honorand many other qualities that most of men would admire gets friendzoned to the oblivion.

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LonesomeSidLeon · 2019-08-25T03:49:48+00:00

I am not a Nice Guy... I am a Kind Thoughtful Assertive Guy... and I had to work on myself a lot to get to that point.

I hate the term Nice Guy... its the ultimate in passive aggressive behavior and its become a trope because its so common. these dudes 'act' nice to lure chicks and manipulate them with social expectations, and they get pissed resentful abusive and mopey when it doesnt work they way they want it to. Thye would act like a dick all the time if they felt they could get away with it, but they are too insecure to live their life that way... they cant openly be abusive because they dont believe they are chad enough or something, so they go covert and attempt to manipulate more softly than a regular asshole would.

And chicks figure out that its an act pretty quickly and gtfo.

Nice guys... are not nice at all.

They are insecure and resentful and abusive and the masters of the covert contract... and extremely invested in their victim narrative.

I didnt really notice this until a few years ago. I tried a dating app amd as a way to gauge my competition, I strated a profile as a woman... it was weird texting with the dudes and I was always kind, but my answers were always no thank you. It was eye opening. I got to see, first hand, what happens when a chick says no thank you to a nice guy. About half the time, the guy who was just 'acting' so very very 'nice' turns into a character assassinating expletive machine.

Dudes and Ladies... please work on your mental and emotional shit. Work on your self esteem. Figure out your own major malfunctions and use them as fuel to grow and be your best self. If not, you just end up taking all the garbage of your past into your future, and it will poison every relationship you have until you heal.

screamifyouredriving · 2019-08-25T07:34:39+00:00

If this was true then why don't blackpilled women hating incels get any play?

Big brain take: I suspect rule 1 be attractive may come into play here. The bullies these women respond to are probably also attractive. The stereotypical "bad boy" womanizer is also that of being extremely good looking.

Galaxy brain take: attractive guys are often bullies or psychopaths because their good looks allow them to get away with it.

In other words do the best looking guys also have the worst personality?

Have these studies been normallized for looks?

TotalBasturd · 2019-08-24T18:26:28+00:00

Manipulative, asympathetic, arrogant bullies have higher numbers of sexual partners and have sex more often.

I’m sorry, but is this supposed to me shocking? Manipulative bullies can manipulate and bully their way into sex. Like duh.

Nice guys get laid less often because they’re more unwilling to behave unethically to get women in bed.

LotBuilder · 2019-08-24T19:02:19+00:00

Nice = boring. Women are drawn to dark triad personalities. I am one. It comes with its own challenges but getting women isn’t one of them.

subgamer90 · 2019-08-24T23:34:54+00:00

No, the majority of women are not genuinely attracted to the fact that a guy is a psycho or a bully, but some might be. Here's my thoughts-

A.) Psychopaths don't advertise to the world that they're psychopaths

Every time you hear about some serial killer or rapist caught, what do you hear from the people who knew them? "Oh he was such a nice guy, I can't believe he would do something like that". Dark triads are good at pretending to be whatever they have to be to get what they want. They play the part of the nice guy and the caring boyfriend until their true nature comes out later on. Nice guys are out here like "girls only like assholes and psychos!". Meanwhile, the psychopath is actually pretending to be nice to get laid. Ironic.

B.) Dark triads don't have any moral filter or inhibitions, and this gets them what they want more often

This applies to everything in life, not just women. But for example, if an older married woman throws themselves at you, would you hook up with her? A dark triad guy would have no problem doing it whereas a normal guy might hesitate because of his morals. By definition, a person who is willing to do anything to get something, is more likely to get it than someone who is not willing to do anything.

C.) Women tend to be attracted to men who are like their father

If a girl's dad is a nice caring guy, she will be attracted to nice, caring guys. If he was an abusive asshole or not in the picture, she will have daddy issues and be more into abusive or emotionally distant guys. A girl who is genuinely attracted to the fact that a guy is a criminal or a bully has daddy issues and/or grew up around men like that in 99% of cases. So why does it seem to be so prevalent? Well, because our society is trending in that direction. Single mother homes are more common than ever.

D.) Women are attracted to the whole package of a man- the positives can outweigh the negatives

If a girl sees their man being a bully, she typically finds that behavior repulsive unless the girl is a psychopath herself. But if the guy is hot physically, has high status in their social group, and treats her well personally then the girl might still stay with him. In other words, one or two negative traits might not be enough for her to break up with him if she finds him otherwise attractive. So it's not that he's attractive because he's a bully, it's that he's still attractive in spite of being a bully. Younger girls are especially likely to overlook things like this because of the emphasis on social status in high school and the fact that no one has any real self confidence at that age.

E.) Good men get laid all the time

If it was true that women in general are attracted to assholes then how come good guys get laid? I mean, there are many guys out there that are not abusive assholes or bullies and they have a girlfriend. In fact, I'd say the vast majority of guys are not bullies or psychopaths and yet the vast majority of guys are also not virgins.

So in conclusion the idea that "women are into bad men" in general is just nerd incel rage that comes from cherry picking women who have daddy issues and low self esteem and also glossing over the fact that psychopaths don't let their true nature be known until later in the relationship, and also somehow totally ignoring the fact that the vast majority of guys are decent guys and also not virgins.

poppy_blu · 2019-08-25T05:15:20+00:00

You’re basing your thesis on the number of partners men who call themselves bullies report in surveys?

Isn’t it interesting that any time a woman points out that women report lower partner counts than men, PPD men don’t hesitate to start screeching about how women lie about their counts.

And then turn around and use surveys of men’s self reported partner counts as gospel. Like it’s a given than women lie but it’s inconceivable that men lie.

Honestly I don’t give a shit if you believe every woman on the planet wants a sociopath. I don’t. Calling me a liar doesn’t make you any more of an expert on women or any less of a loser.

skystar86 · 2019-08-24T19:53:15+00:00

Psychopaths come across as nice and charming to other people. People say that "But he was a very nice guy." about people like serial killers. That's how they gain trust.

[deleted] · 2019-08-24T20:20:26+00:00

I have saved this post.

You deserve it.

Thank you.

DasHylen · 2019-08-24T23:35:10+00:00

i don't see whats wrong here, be an asshole like they want you to be, i know i will.

Loban8990 · 2019-08-25T00:39:05+00:00

Isn't this already a very well known fact. Don't need a study for this one.

crackrocksteady7 · 2019-08-25T15:20:03+00:00

Lol no shit

NegativeCollision · 2019-08-27T00:16:12+00:00

Obviously the bullies must have a great personality and the nice guys think their entitled to say hello to a woman, silly inkwell

HostileErectile · 2019-08-27T11:01:01+00:00

The more succes with women i have the more i hate them honestly.

khaste · 2019-12-24T06:10:29+00:00

Water is wet

[deleted] · 2019-08-24T21:14:34+00:00

40 years of life experience here. Can confirm. All humans have bullshit mental issues. It’s a product of evolution, consciousness, and the complexities of modern life. Desires and attractions change, however, with time and experience. They can also vary from the outset. There is no hard rule. But, yes, generally speaking women prefer “strong men” for obvious evolutionary and procreational reasons.

AggravatingTartlet · 2019-08-25T03:21:36+00:00

89% of 68,000 women in 180 countries say kindness is the attribute they look for in a partner.

https://www.insider.com/what-women-really-look-for-in-a-partner-study-research-2019-7

Researchers analyzed the answers from 68,000 people in 180 countries. Overall, they found personality comes out on top, with 88.9% of women considering "kindness" a very important trait in a partner. Close behind were "supportiveness" and "intelligence," which were chosen by 86.5% and 72.3% of women, respectively.

"Given today's emphasis on looks and wealth, it may surprise you that kindness is a top desirable trait across the world," she said.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-08-24T18:44:26+00:00

And? It's hardly difficult to date even if you aren't a psychopath who bullies people.

Good thing people exist on a spectrum and not everything is so bleak and black and white.

Edit: Also worth noting

NOTE: this research REALLY matches what I have seen in real life. Aggressive junkies and bullies in college did amazing with women while calm nerds got nothing. And the fact that the guys were wild and aggressive was... fetishized? Yeah, that's the word.

This has nothing to do with niceness. It has everything to do with inhibitions, or lack thereof. Low inhibition individuals will be more open about wanting sex than high inhibition people, and will pursue it, because they are less inhibited.

Calm nerds who are not highly inhibited do fine. Hell, so do super artsy people, and they are generally the least aggressive, and least inhibited.

AsclepiustheSage · 2019-08-24T19:25:08+00:00

Correlation is not causation. I say women prefer men who can get away with acting like "bullies" and psychopaths though that's purely incidental.

crushplanets · 2019-08-24T20:25:50+00:00

I agree with this, but do have to question if there is conformation bias being found regarding these online articles.

abaxeron · 2019-08-24T20:42:39+00:00

AFAIK, RedPillDetox was active until 1 year ago, and he posted quite a lot of "contrary" things. Although I find them all quite weak.

https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/4fjpcg/red_pill_detox_first_aid_kit_start_here/

FlavFal · 2019-08-24T19:07:59+00:00

Well it is true, but I need to have a cringy "I'm not like the other women" moment and say it isn't and hasn't ever been true for me.

Criticalthinking346 · 2019-08-24T23:33:17+00:00

There is a lot wrong with all your examples. None of them actually provided the source or linked to the actual research. The first one flat out states that it was a study conducted in Israel (so therefor can’t be crossed referenced to other country, and would be only applicable to Israel). A lot our talking about teenagers which in and of itself is suspect because teenagers brains are fully formed and teen girls are easily manipulated. A lot of the “studies” talked about came from evolutionary psychology so therefore are suspect to begin with.

In reality more research needs to be conducted by non-bias sources.

boardgaming234 · 2019-08-25T01:56:16+00:00

Alright dude, I’m sure you have seen assholes getting with hot chicks and nerds getting nothing or the left overs.

But here’s the real question. I’m sure you like I are basically convinced of the fact that women aren’t the princesses that we envision them to be. How are you reacting to it? Are you going to hate all women? You are going to be men sent their own way and not let these “used up holes” suck up your resources? Are you going to go incel or something because it’s over? Be a sad pile of shit? No offense but please be disturbed of any problems you have with yourself it’ll make your life better?

Accept it. We have been too fucked by the internet and our genetics at being susceptible to these kinds of thoughts. Accept that it will probably be an uphill battle trying to do anything with these dark thoughts and that you’re going to get what you want out of life despite them. Believe in yourself.

yvaN_ehT_nioJ · 2019-08-25T15:44:04+00:00

Pretty common sense stuff in OP tbh.

wekacuck · 2019-08-25T15:50:21+00:00

Can you fix the formatting of this? You've indented paragraphs by four spaces so that reddit thinks it's computer code and each paragraph is rendered as one long line without wrap and I'm fucking lazy and don't want to scroll everything to the left and right to read your OP and it's confusing.

It's because you started each paragraph with four spaces. I think you were trying to mark quotes? If so what you want to do is instead start with "> " (greater than followed by a space).

What you did.

What you should do instead.

Otherwise if you're not quoting, you just separate paragraphs with an empty line.

weedowoo · 2019-08-25T20:42:09+00:00

I think this explains why a lot of guys have retroactive jealousy. It makes it tough to forget about your girlfriends past when the typical guys that have fucked her, are the classic douchebag asshole characters, possibly even guys with personality traits similar to our bullies in the past. I think it is almost emasculating to think that guys that used to be intimidating to me, are guys that my girlfriend liked, hung with, and had sex with. It's almost like she was "cool" enough to include herself with people like that, while I was to afraid, not cool enough.

I think this article helps a lot with that. Understanding that girls are almost "programmed" to be attracted to that helps me understand more. It makes sense that when an "alpha" male walks into a room, it can rub a lot of guys the wrong way, but can excite feelings in women.

I am definitely glad I figured this out after my first girlfriend, I am definitely not a complete asshole to my girlfriend, not mean or demeaning. I am there for her when she needs it, but I have learned a lot about how women want to be treated and how they want to treat men. Eye opening.

subrazer9005 · 2019-08-26T19:47:53+00:00

Lol Not even surprised similar traits attract each other

bonusfruit · 2019-08-26T22:04:31+00:00

Women, given a degree of self control and strategic pussy use, could fuck toxic masculinity out of the gene pool. Ride all the male feminists, doughy timid guys, accountants and star wars sequel lovers. Breed a generation of obsequious, compliant, hillary voting, marshmallows that never manspread

-----------_--- · 2019-09-10T23:20:47+00:00

those crazy bastards were right

128903 · 2019-10-02T20:44:35+00:00

Ok, I understand. I will be very rude next time

SimulatedEnvironment · 2019-08-24T19:42:35+00:00

I appreciate all the effort you put into this but isn’t this something we’ve already known? Women tend to act on more emotion and irrational behavior whereas men tend to be more logical and less sensitive.

diffdedbed · 2019-08-24T19:14:27+00:00

Women don't like pushovers.

Pushovers < bullies < honorable men.

Basically a man who could be a bully but chooses not to but doesn't let anyone else push him around. Pushovers are always a losing proposition.

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-08-24T18:28:26+00:00

I attract & have dated men who bully other men & are psychopaths so that's true for me

screenmagnet · 2019-08-25T11:18:09+00:00

Super weird take on ADHD.

ginwithbutts · 2019-08-24T21:36:43+00:00

Sure, but shouldn't we be asking if it's morally justified to act like this to get what you want? And who's more to blame, the men who consciously act like narcicistic assholes to get what they want, or the women who unconsciously find themselves attracted to this?

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-08-24T22:40:25+00:00

It's so weird that most women like jerks when me and my friends like actually nice people :/

saronyogg · 2019-08-24T19:54:26+00:00

Tell me about it.

In high school, i had a crush with two girls, one perky and a bit dramatic, the other more calm and smart.

BOTH end up dating with bullies jerks.

Is it ok if i say the girls names here? just in case someone else knows them here and to avoid those guys some dissapointments.

daringitlog · 2019-08-24T19:35:33+00:00

To be completely candid, feeling sorry for oneself is not an attractive trait. It is a chip on your shoulder that you carry with you and it can be seen from a mile away. Find activities you enjoy, go off and have adventures on your own or with friends, and the rest will figure itself out. Seriously.

dreadway90 · 2019-08-24T22:36:52+00:00

Holy shit, I popped the cherry of the author of the first article.

ajaa123 · 2019-08-25T15:07:13+00:00

I've always preferred nice even geeky guys.. it's what I have always looked for in a future husband. Maybe I was brainwashed by my mother..

Zero9194 · 2019-08-25T15:18:59+00:00

Women are not attracted to bullies, they are attracted to the traits that enable them to be bullies. Being a bully just demonstrates they possess those traits.

Zero_The-Hero · 2019-08-25T16:18:47+00:00

Guy in the picture looks like a loser.

[deleted] · 2019-08-26T12:40:42+00:00

Those "nice" traits sound stereotypically feminine. Most women aren't attracted to feminine men. When we say we want a man in touch with his feminine side that means comfortable enough in his masculinity to watch The Notebook with us.

I don't know why this comes as a shock. Psychopaths are often very charming and can even trick therapists into thinking they're normal.

_lexxxi_98 · 2019-08-26T13:30:30+00:00

I laugh at this, because my friend and I refer to them as bitch boys sometimes. Guys that are sometimes too nice let you control them. Which what she likes. She claims she likes a guy who takes control but then says their to controlling or whatever. She just wants all the sweet stuff. There's nothing wrong people with treating someone good, but for myself I like a tough manly man. I like the toughness of a guy and well I like assholes. Treat me like shit and then tell me you love me.

xXSandwhichXx · 2019-08-27T13:51:26+00:00

I'm going to come here with my own anecdotal experience as I am still in highschool. Hot girls go after popular guys, regular girls go after hot guys - who often are able to use that to their advantage and become popular. (You would be suprised how many unattractive guys seem to get a LOT of female attention). Everyone wants to feel attractive and obtaining that "prize", playing their games, and having people talk about you and that guy is something all women desire. It's less of a one on one interaction then it is to get attention from fellow peers. People at this age don't really date to date, they date to be popular and have people talk about them. Bullies aren't your stereotypical big kid with a taste for blood. Actually those are often the bullied. It takes a good social standing, a sharp sense of humor, excelling at sport or two, and doing something attention worthy like drugs/alcohol or for younger groups expensive clothes to really have the confidence and unawareness to beat others down to impress your peers.

Here's the otherside of the equation. Hot guys like hot girls. Regular guys - also like hot girls. Boys often don't care about the imbalance in popularity and social standing. They will date outside of their groups as long as the girl is attractive and not "crazy". It's simple, they would prefer to have an attractive girl by their side and in turn that girl is often able to latch onto his social standing and become popular, not allowing his group to reject her. Women don't like assholes. Women like influential men. They want to be talked about by other women. The thing is, influential men got there by climbing thier way up the social ladder. When you climb this ladder, there is a point where you will have to knock a person a few pegs down to keep climbing. That is where men with traits that keep them from holding back, whether they be negative or positive, climb.

There is a reason women don't like "nice guys". It's because if you really watch, they seem to limit their "niceness" to people they want favors from, and are clumsily attempting to mimic the climb of the social ladder due to their own insecurities by knocking the people around them down, which makes them look dumb, as they haven't even started. There is no fun in dating "that" guy, not only will he not help your social standing, there is no personal reward. We are all egotistical in one way or another, it's an ego trip to have someone "out of your league" or above you on this ladder recognize you. The first "disinterest" that men give, women are able to tell whether it's because you are inviting them to their game or if you truely have no attraction to them. The game is fun to play. It entertains the mind, allows for courtship, gives attention to both parties and the high risk/reward is what a lot of people desire. Getting chosen by someone "above" makes a woman feel special and gives her a chance to ascend that social ladder.

Now you have to understand one simple factor. This is purely for highschool, at best, early college relationships. This dismantles itself very quickly when the social hierarchy that has been building for years falls apart. Girls mature into women, boys mature into men. As they each explore their hobbies, values, and life choices they find a partner that suits them. Only for young women who have just recently emerged from childish highschool games does this "nice guys finish last" game work out because they are getting used to loving and living for themselves, not the attention of others. We all grow up away from highschool. Perhaps, in certain situations we revert (above links for work culture situations) but very rarely.

Everyone has someone for them. Go look beyond the superficial things and find someone you value, love, and trust as a person. No matter your gender or orientation.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2019-08-27T15:15:07+00:00

women dont like abusive assholes. abusive dark triad assholes are expert manipulators. they know which buttons to push. they even coerce. it's not a secret.

men like pathetically meek women who wont challenge their super fragile man ego.

and all men here just want a shitty excuse to abuse women.

no, harry, you are not more successful after TRP; you are more successful because TRP taught you how to scan for insecure, low self-esteem women.

you just rationalize it a lot.

MILFBucket · 2019-08-28T04:26:13+00:00

ADHD is probably a mixed bag. It can really fuck with your social development and emotional regulation. There's even a sub-disorder known as "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)."

fuckcoleysbitchass · 2019-08-28T07:27:02+00:00

Just live life man, dont let your precious youth wasted on irrelevant things like this. Life is too diverse to be explained by small studies like these.

[deleted] · 2019-09-10T02:27:12+00:00

Maybe I should show them my psychopathic side. Instead of my nice guy side.

squarephoton · 2019-09-14T16:31:09+00:00

adolescents with ADHD actually had nearly twice as many sex partners as normal teens.

Well, where the hell are my twice as many sex partners lmao

Spanktank35 · 2019-09-15T07:24:44+00:00

These studies, of all the ones I checked, are focusing on initial interactions, or amount of sex people are getting.

Newsflash, 'bad' guys are going to be more likely to be risk-takers. They're going to be more likely to get sex just by virtue of that. It doesn't mean women are attracted to all the bad traits that go along with the confidence and risk-taking. They're also going to be more experienced in making a good first impression, by virtue of their risk-taking. If they're narcissistic, you can bet they're going to look their best too.

I'd be interested to see studies of which men do better in long-term relationships, which seems to be strangely lacking in this compilation.

Title	Discussion: Research finds that women do not prefer "nice" guys; in fact they prefer "bullies" and psychopaths
Author	TotalBasturd
Upvotes	467
Comments	468
Date	August 24, 2019 6:19 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cux0dm/discussion_research_finds_that_women_do_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/discussion-research-finds-that-women-do-not-prefer.254289 https://theredarchive.com/post/254289

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