Why do women constantly complain about “unrealistic” beauty standards?

Maybelowsmv · 2019-12-15T16:48:09+00:00

Personally, I don't think it's primary concern is with dating. It's more about the self-esteem of women.

It's why when women talk about beauty standards, they also mention how it affects young girls and the messages it sends to them. It also goes into the wider issues of how different women are treated, and also in some groups, it does have a racial/colourism element to it

The dating/men part comes secondary to the above. It's seen as an extension to the problem but it isn't the MAIN concern

Orange_Paisley · 2019-12-15T17:41:36+00:00

Gigantic boobs, a 20” waist and wide hips aren’t easy to achieve without surgical intervention for most women.

ToraChan23 · 2019-12-15T16:35:41+00:00

It's culture. Look at movies, ads, tv shows. You see women having perfect skin and hair, being fit and beautiful with no effort. It's not always about dating, it's about living as a woman in general. In a typical office, you see women putting much more effort in their appearance than men.

rizzyraech · 2019-12-15T17:27:35+00:00

As a woman, I genuinely couldn't tell you. I haven't worn make up in over a year, and it's never been a high priority thing for me.

I will never understand other women who can spend on average an hour or more getting ready every day, and then complain about never having time or complain about unrealistic standards. It takes me at the most 15 minutes to get out the door if I start from fully not ready but awake.

fleetwood-pc · 2019-12-15T17:20:55+00:00

You never see men complaining that all the actors in movies have body builder physiques.

2019-12-15T16:38:49+00:00

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NPC55 · 2019-12-15T16:22:33+00:00

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shockedpikachu123 · 2019-12-15T18:30:47+00:00

Because men often refer to a woman’s appearance especially her body when he describes her. Men are the consumers of magazines with scantily clad women that portray a certain body type. Men are likely to buy anything that has to do with a woman’s body

HB3234 · 2019-12-15T19:33:23+00:00

I think one of the things that is hard is men often want things which are incongruous, so it is frustrating for a woman who loves her partner and seeks to please him in every way.

For example, a flat stomach but big breasts. This is very beautiful in our culture. But a big chunk of men will also deride you for plastic surgery and being fake. So they want a standard which most of us just cant achieve. It's the same annoyance of men who see women only want 6'+ men.

For most of us, if your body is cutting fat off your belly that is part of protecting organs, it has already dipped into the less vital breast fat that sits on your sternum. I have a 22" waist and relatively large breasts... I have really well done implants. I work in a male dominated industry and can't tell you how many male friends have complained to me about plastic fake girls in their dating lives, but also refusing to swipe right on normal looking girls.

The same standard exist for butts but thank God you can run and climb your way to a great ass, you can't bench your way to boobs.

On a lighter note too, Most men also want a woman who doesn't inconvenience them with her upkeep schedule. Men are notorious for teasing us about how long it takes to shower, but how else can you remain hairless? It is a media trope to make fun of how long it takes to get ready, but they do love to see us with a full face of makeup. My hair goes down to my butt. Deep conditioning it is done while we watch a movie at my household but I have had partners who resented the time the upkeep took. They wanted long hair and they wanted it to have princess curls soft as kittens AND they wanted it that way without any time consuming maintenance that could take away from time I was available.

Ofourkind · 2019-12-15T19:36:47+00:00

The only thing that bothers me is the hypocrisy.

Most of the dudes out there criticizing women for not suiting their particular preferences and standards put zero effort into themselves.

CHAD_TDK · 2019-12-15T23:18:53+00:00

It's very simple: when in life things don't go our way, we all have 2 choices:

take the feedback that life gives is, look in the mirror, and work on changing ourself so that things can go more our way in the future
blame anyone/anything but ourselves

The second choice is a lot easier than the first one.

findingfemininity · 2019-12-15T16:28:55+00:00

Idk any women in real life who complain about beauty standards. It seems to be the purvey of internet SJWs and social media influencers looking for brownie points. Most of us just accept that men will follow their dicks.

largepaycheckaddict · 2019-12-15T16:38:14+00:00

Because today “unrealistic beauty standards” means expecting women to not be morbidly obese and on the verge of an early death.

40% of American women are obese.

Yes there are lots of obese men too, they also need to get their shit together and stop being gluttons who sit in atrophy.

poopiedoodie710 · 2019-12-15T18:48:33+00:00

I don’t feel like women complain about unrealistic beauty standards so much as they seem to want to be acknowledged for more than their appearance. Women are regularly reduced to the measure of their appearance, in spite of their achievements or success in life. For instance, you’ll see criticism of female entrepreneurs, scientists and politicians focus on how “unattractive” they are, even if these women may be very good, well educated and highly successful people.

I also think women are looking for more inclusion in media and fashion, i.e. all shapes and sizes, to be able to dress and groom themselves how they want without feeling men are dictating those decisions.

NorthrnSwede · 2019-12-15T20:27:00+00:00

You know that women have thoughts that aren't about men right? I've had many, many conversation with women about body image. These are not conversations about men.

wolfthewoman · 2019-12-15T20:28:28+00:00

Who does this? I don't know any women in real life who complain about unrealistic beauty standards. Maybe get off of tumblr and other SJW corners of the internet.

MasonMan1234 · 2019-12-15T22:55:02+00:00

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Sewud · 2019-12-16T02:16:31+00:00

It's not about dating, it's about the portrayal of women. Ordinary-looking guys are allowed in media to be heroes or to just exist, but when people write female characters they think "but what if she was beautiful? genius!". Ex: Jumanji. Jack Black is a middle-aged overweight archeologist, something you wouldn't see as a female video game character archetype. Or there's a lot of movies where it's one good-looking guy contrasted with one nerdy guy. But I also disagree with the idea that "men aren't picky". Men want to date women from a more attractive percentile than their own. That's what motivates them and that's how they feel they can beat others at the dating game.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-12-15T16:42:24+00:00

beauty standards come from women and are imposed on women by women. since the dawn of second wave feminism, feminism routinely misapprehended FSM based intrasexual social pressures for patriarchy, though obviously there is a link there, it is very buried and atavistic. the surface of female beauty standards is the female social matrix

Thanosgendered · 2019-12-15T16:33:30+00:00

Because young & attractive women want hot men and hot men want their girls to look good and more while they're fucking. Big tits & ass, too.

Then average & unattractive women want what other women want and ignore the fact that most guys want a woman thats just average in attractiveness & not fat.

Then they use "well im not gonna have a sexy body ever, i might aswell just get fat" argument & settle with average people.

If you think that the average man is nowadays sexually invisible to young women, shit makes a whole lot of sense.

Teflon08191 · 2019-12-15T16:43:59+00:00

It used to be an acknowledgment that the model's imperfections were all airbrushed away, but nowadays simply having a BMI that begins with 2 is considered "unreasonable" to many women.

Mandisi77 · 2019-12-15T17:05:29+00:00

They only care about competing for the Alpha. They don't see the 80% of dudes willing to to be with them in a heartbeat.

gimpgirl555 · 2019-12-15T16:28:49+00:00

Because women always want to get away with doing less. No matter how much men lower the bar, women will always complain that it's too high and unrealistic.

Psych0_W0lf · 2019-12-15T16:56:21+00:00

An average woman 5/10 is pissed because 8/10 or above men are not attracted towards them who they find attractive.

Simple hypergamy actually!

NPC55 · 2019-12-15T17:46:04+00:00

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hammerhaunts · 2019-12-15T16:18:15+00:00

Its to compete with women

2019-12-15T16:53:04+00:00

Because then guys don't want to date average/obese/ugly women.

Then some women, who don't want to maintain a healthy diet and exercise, develop eating disorders such bing eating, anorexia, bulimia, ect that cause other health issues.

Then they get mad at society for promoting attractive healthy women in movies, TV, and on the internet, among other places.

They get so mad they demand representation for average/obese/ugly women and demand to be called 'beautiful as is' in an attempt to make men lower their standards to their definition of what a 'real woman' is; As if being attractive and healthy is something unattainable.

It comes down to women not liking themselves because men don't always like the less than/average woman.

Women say that they don't need to change themselves and that people need to respect that, but they're demanding that men change themselves instead of respecting their sexual preferences.

These women demand society change, and lower the social standards for them, instead of the women changing for society and themselves;.

Men would like them if they actually put forth the effort to try and look attractive and be healthy; 'Beautiful at every size' and 'perfect as it' is the hollow shit lazy/ugly people tell themselves when they can't convince anyone else of it.

GoodCatBadWolf · 2019-12-15T17:10:37+00:00

Because there is an entire sector of marketing aimed at making women feel like they aren’t good enough, and they need to buy “x” product to fix that. And this does not apply to all men and women, but there is societal pressure and shame related to girls being sexual , but porn has created an ideal or expectation of how women should behave in the bedroom. I think this trifecta of influence fucks with most women, and depending on their personal upbringing and experiences, results in a lot of insecurities.

justaqueryy · 2019-12-15T17:48:08+00:00

Because unrealistic beauty standards don’t only affect one’s dating life. Most women I know care about many other things outside of dating. Most women don’t change their looks for men.

biplab1990 · 2019-12-15T19:38:40+00:00

It's a self imposed pressure, probably stemming from the fact that the average woman in media is far attractive than the average man. Even if the pressure were societal, they're definitely not succumbing to it. If they were, 40% of women won't be obese.

trueorfalsedmitry · 2019-12-15T19:39:23+00:00

Because they think men evaluate the appearance of women the same way they evaluate the appearance of men. To wit: If a man's appearance is not completely and wholly remarkable, his appearance is strictly average. They hear that men like Thing1, Thing2, Thing3, ...ThingN, and think that only a woman who possesses all of those Things will be deemed physically attractive by men. This is the standard they apply to men's appearance: You must be essentially complete and perfect to be noteworthy with respect to physical attractiveness if you are a man.

The only reason the vast majority of men ever get laid is that women will, in fact, fuck a man they would deem "not physically attractive" if they just saw them on the street.

jenovajunkie · 2019-12-15T21:13:20+00:00

Women just complain about anything and everything that can make them seem at a disadvantage comparatively.

Really, do these women have any other qualities to offer than just being beautiful though? They are just eye candy, maintaining beauty is a hard job, so yeah, do I complain that I am not the best writer or journalist out there? No, because I know the best ones are hyper focused on being the best writer or journalist that they don't have time to complain about the hardships of being the best.

It's like a hidden cost, do men complain that wealthy millionaires and billionaires are setting unrealistic statuses to achieve? No, because men are more than just that. Women are fucking tools sometimes, like stop complaining and start doing something about it. If society has some fucking unrealistic beauty standard, don't follow it; we are not all runway models.

Not all models are beautiful anyway, everything has it's own cost, so if these women don't like it, they don't have to follow it.

Zeeviii · 2019-12-16T00:08:23+00:00

TBF tho, it's less about the men's opinions and more about self-value and the value women have in the eyes of the society.

Million-Suns · 2019-12-15T16:40:10+00:00

It's a pressure created by women onto other women in order to eliminate the competition. Or so they think. Because honestly, one easy way to distinguish oneself from the rest is to work out seriously in the gym(and no just show off in yoga pants).

So it's all about misleading other women into wasted efforts (expensive make up, expensive cares in beauty salons, expensive wardrobes), making them waste time and energy so that they are less able to compete in the dating world.

Whereas many men could not care less about your make up and care more about your muscle/body fat ratio.

I'd take a woman like this one over any Miss world doll or Victoria Secret thin model.

Nevidimka- · 2019-12-15T16:50:01+00:00

When I was in highschool /college, boys, even the ones unattractive themselves, would definitely say demeaning things about big noses, small tits etc. Now today I know they were probably talking out of insecurity, but you know, it's what girls hear.

furcryingoutloud · 2019-12-15T18:38:59+00:00

They need validation for the time they spend attempting to reach those beauty standards imposed by their peers.

2019-12-15T18:51:23+00:00

Mostly fat women do this. Or insecure hotties sometimes

reluctantly_red · 2019-12-15T16:21:11+00:00

It's the only thing they're wanted for.

RRBeachFG2 · 2019-12-15T18:04:14+00:00

Because women are in competition with each other to get the highest value man, and since some women are able to obtain this standard whether through genetics or hard-work it makes others uncomfortable.

heart_lungs · 2019-12-15T18:16:36+00:00

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WIA20XX · 2019-12-15T17:45:58+00:00

The guys they aspire to have a lot of choice, and the delusion is that if she is model (runway or playboy or Instagram it makes zero difference) pretty, he will choose her, be loyal, and be attentive.

They discount the nature of men, so they don't realize that no woman will ever be pretty enough to get all of that compliance out of a man.

ManGoingTheAnalWay · 2019-12-15T17:54:54+00:00

Women have unrealistic standards in more than this one dimension, so it's really a human thing?

Catevagreen · 2019-12-15T19:35:26+00:00

I’ll assume by “wildly unhealthily” you mean fat.

SILENTSAM69 · 2019-12-15T20:44:32+00:00

The pressure comes from competition among women. It is women to decide these standards, and compete to achieve them.

As with any competition those who are at the top are few, and so to the rest it seems unrealistic for them to achieve what the best have achieved. They are crying about that being unfair.

2019-12-15T21:30:44+00:00

We are aware that it doesn't come from 'the average man'. Why should we not complain about it?

LotBuilder · 2019-12-15T21:30:48+00:00

A woman needs to do 1 thing to meet most Mens beauty standards: Not be fat. That’s it

Atiesh · 2019-12-15T22:40:46+00:00

If one is lucky enough to have a conventionally attractive body and face there's still a lot of judgement for looking sloppy or un-styled. Men just don't get people on their back about this with the same frequency or fervor.

rreot · 2019-12-15T23:06:54+00:00

Why do men complain constantly about their account or lack of intelligence?

putconfac · 2019-12-15T23:39:14+00:00

Because they compite against each other and they are jealous of younger wome so they want men to acknowledge their "beauty" and receive our attention like we do to young girls without telling us otherwise they get anxious they realize they aging, not attractive enough or getting fat.

Physiologist21 · 2019-12-16T01:12:53+00:00

In largely it's because

a) they are very out of shape and dont want to put forth effort

b) they are extremely picky and are chasing the top 10% of men, who of course want someone who is also a top 10% woman

Newkker · 2019-12-16T01:32:25+00:00

Female requirements to be desirable: don't be fat, don't be in the bottom 10% genetically that are extremely ugly.

Male requirements: Be muscular, have a big dick, have a lot of money,

Something aint right here

MGTOWManofMystery · 2019-12-16T02:04:02+00:00

Isn't it just Evolutionary Psychology? It is a sexual marketplace out there and women strive to be more attractive as men do. Whether they need to or not.

ElfFey · 2019-12-16T03:24:47+00:00

because they are not happy with themselves

SlashCo80 · 2019-12-16T05:42:47+00:00

Honestly, as long as a woman is reasonably fit, dresses well and knows how to apply makeup, there will be men attracted to her. She will not be scrutinized over height, muscularity or other (imo, harder to achieve) factors nearly as much as men routinely are. Not to mention money, career, social standing etc.

MikepGrey · 2019-12-16T05:54:57+00:00

They spend to much time watching tv, to fix this you have to talk to the marketing people who want women to hate themselves so they will "buy stuff to be beautiful"

geyejoe7 · 2019-12-16T06:38:44+00:00

Unrealistic beauty standards come from women for women.

The beauty industry are women and gay men. With few exceptions.

But in reality, those supermodels are not attractive to a lot of men. Too skinny and frail. Haven't met a dude that wants that yet...

brokegradstudent_93 · 2019-12-16T08:09:19+00:00

It’s the constant airbrushing, photoshop etc that women get mad at. Even most models don’t look as good as their pictures. A lot of adults know this and it’s industry standard but young women and girls often don’t know this. Also in movies the rail thin girl eats cheeseburgers all day and is still rail thin while in reality the actress only eats salad and works out 3 hours a day. It sends a lot of mixed signals to young women and that’s the bad part. Maybe we shouldn’t airbrush every photo to the point where the model looks like a different person.

Freevoulous · 2019-12-16T08:58:35+00:00

What is even wrong with that? Humans are SUPPOSED to strive for a good standard of beauty, because beauty usually aligns with health and fitness. Sure, anorexic fashion models are not healthy, but they are NOT the actual beauty standards, celebrities are.

And most celebrities have a healthy well planned diet and workout routine to look good.

grand_tiremaster · 2019-12-16T11:32:34+00:00

Because they’re too lazy to get up and run 2 blocks everyday to lose weight. A healthy body is not unrealistic. Fit/lean women get an ungodly amount of hate from other women, sometimes fat dudes themselves.

The rest is skincare. Easy shit. But they’ll blame depression and anxiety as a cop out.

wenoopic · 2019-12-16T14:16:06+00:00

Childs are not responsible for themselves, and women are always childish, so when they fail, they blame other people.

Feminists promote the bullshit that sex is a "social construct", so they think that they can change reality, by making different "social constructs". They want to "construct" that all women are perfect as they are, and no effort is required, because they are lazy and entitled.

Women only want the best men, so they see themselves as low value compared to the men they want. That's why they are always complaining about the "glass ceiling", the wage gap, and unrealistic standards of beauty.

Women aren't rational. Feminists complain about unrealistic standards in media, but then they make movies were fat and mature women fly, have superpowers, punch destroy gangs of men, don't need to learn anything, and are smarter and larger than life just because.

Bntt89 · 2019-12-16T16:43:54+00:00

Its competition between other women it isnt men

El_Guapo2020 · 2019-12-17T19:03:00+00:00

Hypergamy in a word women are not concerned with what the average man wants they are competing for the the top 20% those high value men at the top of the picking order are they ones they are complaining about they know they can get an average simp any day of the week

josski32 · 2019-12-15T21:39:43+00:00

because women are taught that their worth comes from being beautiful. so there is never a cap on how beautiful they have to be because they want to be as worthy as possible. the main problem imo is not that models are beautiful (what else would they be?) but that women are taught to ground their very right to exist in being beautiful.

for men to understand, i think it might be similar to how much money you guys make. however i still think it’s worse for women, probably because of the male dominated culture or “patriarchy.” this also relates to how women are taught that their fertility (aka being a vessel for a child) is the most important thing we have to give to the world. something we can’t even control, that doesn’t even come from us as individuals. it’s dehumanizing.

these two things are part of a greater story. that women exist to please and serve men. if you just look at a small part of the story, it seems ludicrous. but if you look at all the little things and the picture they add up to, you’ll see how true it is. the problem isn’t that men like beautiful women. (what else would they like?) the problem is that women are taught that their very existence is for pleasing men. this is what feminism centers around destroying. this is what women call “the patriarchy.” this is why women will hook up with a guy and then later decide/realize (depending on your perception) it was rape, not because the male was coercing them but because they are wired to please him and didn’t even consider themselves until it was an afterthought. and this is why women are so damn frustrated with seeing beautiful models everywhere. it’s a reminder of what men like and to be that thing that men like.

if you really & truly want to understand how problematic the beauty centered culture is and why women resent it so much, i recommend watching the documentary “miss representation.” before i watched it i seriously thought feminism was stupid. also watch “pretty” by katie makkai

Dora_Bowl · 2019-12-15T16:26:41+00:00

The women who are talking about that issue typically are feminists, and they are pointing out the fact that the unrealistic beauty standards cause issues for women and also pointing out that beauty standards ought to be changed to be a bit more in line with what actually happens.

Title	Why do women constantly complain about “unrealistic” beauty standards?
Author	MasonMan1234
Upvotes	101
Comments	472
Date	December 15, 2019 4:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/eb0rle/why_do_women_constantly_complain_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-women-constantly-complain-about-unrealistic.299431 https://theredarchive.com/post/299431