Do women get bored of relationships faster than men?

Psychological_Wear_7 · 2021-05-11T21:30:27+00:00

Published in the British Medical Journal Open, the survey collected data from 4,839 men and 6,669 women aged 16-74 and revealed that while both genders tire of sex with age, women claim to get bored of sex in relationships far quicker than men.

Make of this what you will.

superlurkage · 2021-05-11T21:43:36+00:00

I thought men were the ones who “need variety”. Is the Coolidge Effect a dirty, dirty lie?

Sage_Planter · 2021-05-11T21:31:51+00:00

New dick isn't exciting. Do I really want to invest time and energy teaching another man how I prefer to be eaten out? No, not really. Do I really want to risk a stable relationship for sex with a stranger that could result in STIs, pregnancy, no orgasm...? No, not really.

Wobblewobblegobble · 2021-05-12T01:42:24+00:00

The man she hasn’t had a conversation with? How does she know if you are charismatic and exciting if she hasn’t had a conversation with you? More male solipsism and projection. New dick is not always more exciting like new pussies for men

PreparationWorried33 · 2021-05-11T22:28:27+00:00

As a woman who’s dated both men and women I’d say yes. Women like constant passion and excitement. They tend to tire of men especially quickly because once men get comfortable in a relationship they don’t keep these things up from their end. Maybe it’s because the men get bored quickly too who knows.

WrittenRoses · 2021-05-11T21:40:28+00:00

As a woman, I've found the opposite to be true. At least in terms of who's actually willing to act on it.

I think a lot of young men in comfortable long-term relationships at some point often get it in their mind that the grass is greener on the other side. The intrigue and desire to conquer his girl dissipates the more time he spends with her, the more he gets to know her. Her quirks become flaws, her flaws become grating annoyances. More-so when he lives with her, has to contribute to joint expenses, take on chores, do menial 'family' things. Reality hits hard.

A man in a comfortable relationship also likely has his physical and emotional needs being met, and no longer comes off as creepy or desperate for attention. He has social validation single men don't. Other women begin feel more comfortable around him, often to the point of being able to share or flirt more than they ever would have before. A lot of men, unused to this attention, take that as genuine sexual interest. Sometimes it is. Having never had such choice before, he will often be tempted to pursue it. (Obviously, with the caveat, not all men.)

Women at this point are usually emotionally imprinted on their man, which tends to increase her own physical enjoyment. I'm not saying women don't get bored or cheat - they definitely do. Just that, on average, they'd be far more likely to resolve any unresolved sexual needs themselves as opposed to finding a new partner, when their lives are already enmeshed with one man for whom she has deeper affection and connection. Anyone whose had a long term relationship work out knows that desire ebbs and flows over time; if the relationship is healthy, there will be points you can't keep your hands off each other and points where you both prefer to read side by side in bed every night.

'New dick' is exciting the way finding out if you've got an STD is exciting. It's rarely worth the risks associated or the loss of a comfortable relationship.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-05-12T10:22:58+00:00

Bro look at all the chicks not arguing with the results of the survey, but hamstering about how it’s men’s fault that they get bored and are terrible LTR options... can’t make this stuff up.

yuckyuck13 · 2021-05-11T23:25:35+00:00

I think women get bored a lot faster then men. What men don't understand they have to maintain the allure that attracted her in the first place throughout the entire relationship. I know finances is the biggest reason divorces but I think men not be the same person she fell in love with is the most important reason.

Special-Armadillo-99 · 2021-05-11T21:49:26+00:00

There was an AskWomenOver30 post a while ago where the OP was lamenting about how when her and her long term partner met he was athletic, adventurous and outgoing. But over time he stopped doing a lot of his more exciting hobbies and now preferred spending most of his free time at home or on the couch.

I think what happens is a lot of guys put on a front in order to attract women. But as they get more comfortable in a relationship this front disappears. From the guy's perspective he's just being his authentic self. But from the woman's perspective her once exciting partner is now just a schlub.

So the answer to your question is...sort of. But it's less about new dick being more exciting and more about the fact that for a lot of women what attracted her to her partner in the first place can be hard for a man to keep up long term.

PirateDocBrown · 2021-05-12T00:04:57+00:00

In general, women want men to change. Men want women to never change.

Also, men cheat to get more partners. Women cheat to get a better partner.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-05-11T21:53:07+00:00

I don’t think so, I think both get bored, faster or slower depending on the individual more than the gender. The difference is that men want to bang other women but keep their wife/gf around, while women typically just lose interest in sex and the relationship altogether. So women are more likely to end things while men are more likely to cheat.

It’s hard to keep this from happening and I don’t think you always can. But I think the best thing to do is not let oneself become boring. Usually when people are freshly in a relationship, they still have their own hobbies and still are trying all kinds of new things together. When they settle into a comfortable routine, and especially if and when kids come along, things can get really dull, and you start seeing your partner as dull. You have to make an effort to still have fun dates and spend enough time apart that you have things to talk about.

Guapscotch · 2021-05-11T22:27:04+00:00

Honestly. Humans are pretty sucky. I don’t think monogamy in a modern context works. Our hyperactive society just doesn’t allow that type of love to thrive in general. Everyone just wants a quick dopamine hit now. Men and women. Me me me, what’s next for me. Get yours and move on, the end is near anyway. All of these dating discussions won’t matter.

Far-Personality63 · 2021-05-11T23:43:48+00:00

IMO, there is a great deal more to this question. Ultimately, the disconnect begins (and ends) with;

1) The man believes he has found the perfect woman who will NEVER change.....yet she does!

2) The woman believes she has found her near perfect man, who she tries to change.....yet he doesn't!

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-05-12T01:23:35+00:00

Wasn't there a post recently on how when older women divorce its because they wanted to reinvent themselves/get a new job/ travel etc and felt their husband wouldn't be supportive or couldn't keep up with her

while if the men divorced they generally wanted to find a "new love" or a new relationship?

And most divorce is initiated by the woman

So I'd say yes, women get bored faster. But I don't think it's the sex or relationship that gets boring, it's the fact that the man may not change or reinvent with her.

Men want women to not change. Women want men to change.

I can't get to the study at the moment as I'm on lunch may edit this later with said studies

I think women are more likely to cite feeling like their labour is unappreciated in the home (they do more child care and cleaning, which men expect but apparently don't value) and because of it would rather just be single again. So she'll feel resentful and leave.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-05-11T21:31:00+00:00

do women ultimately get bored of relationships faster because new dick is always more exciting?

Lol like new pussy isn't more exciting too.

This feels like a victim complex post. People do get bored together to an extent. Some are ok with it and it doesn't bother them, others cheat, others divorce, some of us are swingers, but this isn't a gender thing.

silkPJson · 2021-05-11T21:23:45+00:00

No I think men do but they often won’t leave instead they cheat/ignore their girlfriends

Novadina · 2021-05-11T21:57:49+00:00

I always heard that it was men who got bored quicker? That they have a biological need for variety, and to “spread their seed”?

PreparationWorried33 · 2021-05-11T21:41:54+00:00

There's a lot of Variables that could be taken into account obviously; but based on Divorce Statistics and who Initiates Divorces I would say yeah, as a whole they probably do 🤷

But outside of the Gendered thing let's also remember with Instant Gratification Society/Social Media/Dating Apps this is an issue for everyone. People constantly think they can "Do better" than their current partner and it's so easy to find a new one. (Redpillers call this "Monkey Branching" and from what I've seen it's more common in Women but Men definitely do it too).

gigababejfl_ · 2021-05-11T23:35:28+00:00

Random dick isn't exciting enough to gamble a love life, tf? I don't understand people who are so sexual that they do this. I don't get bored. Security and comfort is amongst the most important things to me. I cannot relate to the things you're saying here.

_lemazaki · 2021-05-11T23:39:04+00:00

For me, those who are able to attract new partners more easily and have previous experience to compare with the current one, are more likely to be the first one to get sick.

The one who doesn't have that much capacity, will swallow whatever he can to stay in the relationship.

It doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman. For me it is a transactional issue.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-05-12T01:05:07+00:00

No, I don't think so. Seems like a very individual, personality-based thing.

Physiologist21 · 2021-05-12T04:17:59+00:00

Yes.

MasterCeddy2 · 2021-05-12T12:58:11+00:00

I think it all comes down to the one who cares less has more power over the relationship.

Willow-girl · 2021-05-12T13:16:55+00:00

I think women tend to become disappointed or disillusioned, not simply bored.

NeuroplasticSurgery · 2021-05-11T21:47:09+00:00

It isn't necessarily that they get bored faster, but that it's easier and quicker for them to replace partners, so they face less external pressure to remain in unsatisfying relationships.

Women's mental is weird though, so they often have all sorts of anxious internal pressure to stay that men don't really deal with, or at least not to the same degree.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-05-11T21:27:24+00:00

This sounds more like male projection. The old stereotype that you usually see is a man leaving his wife for a much younger woman. Are there women who act like that, probably, but plenty of relationships last so it's not like this blanket statement is particularly accurate.

I also push back on the idea that women are constantly coming into contact with suitable partners though. At least from what I've observed, a lot of women probably would need to make an effort to meet those people. They aren't going to be people they encounter much day to day, especially if they are introverted.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-05-11T21:35:24+00:00

I don't think so. It could be a milion things, maybe women are just less likely to tolerate a relationship they don't like, maybe men are more likely to be bad partners, maybe women feel more comfortable leaving relationships because they have more friends, maybe women are more likely to get in a relationship they don't like to begin with, maybe men are more likely to change after the relationship isn't new, maybe it's a conjunction of factors. There's really no evidence I've seen that indicates that what you said is true

Orange_Paisley · 2021-05-11T21:34:11+00:00

No, I think men do because of their desire to fuck anything that moves. Women are just less likely to tolerate bad behavior.

FreierSteinkopf · 2021-05-11T22:44:58+00:00

Women fall out of love faster than men due to higher reproductive risks and tend to get sexually bored faster than a guy. This doesn't mean that women are less monogamous though since there are clear indicators like concealed ovulation and lust for sex during reproductive periods that are designed for couples to form.

In real life it is probably due to getting either lazy (getting fat etc.) or focusing too much on her i.e getting clingy. I once heard that women are like cats because if you avoid them they will want you more and if you try to be close all the time they just want to get away. That seems true for the most part.

CH705-807 · 2021-05-11T21:47:11+00:00

Yeah definitely makes sense. It's hard to find unconditional love as a man I believe. Once you fall in love but fail to perform to some degree in terms of success you can easily be replaced. It's easy for a woman to find another guy.

Slyfer_Seven · 2021-05-11T21:26:55+00:00

Assuming your premise is correct, all you have to do is be better than "new", so there is no reason for her to venture out. This is easier than one would think, because you also know all her "tricks", as you put it, and have her figured out...

mechanical_elves · 2021-05-11T21:29:52+00:00

I think so, I also think this is why jealousy works really well for men who have attractive girlfriends.

LaCaipirinha · 2021-05-11T22:12:41+00:00

I think in general relationships are more beneficial to men. On average married men are happier than single men, whereas single women are happier than married women. Men don't usually have to do as many chores, do as much emotional labor or take care of the kids as much. Married men/fathers get more respect at work. I think men tend to put less work into relationships as time goes on. Even if a man is in a shitty marriage, it might be easier to just cheat on his wife than leave her.

sumilia · 2021-05-11T22:40:47+00:00

Not at all.

When I'm in a relationship, I'm like a taxi with the light turned off. I don't even notice other potential people because I have somebody already.

However, one thing I've noticed is that when women break up, they really mean it, and there's no going back. A lot of times women will point out what isn't working in a relationship, and men might not take that very seriously, because she's still continuing to be sweet and keep the house functional etc. So one day when she's totally defeated and breaks up with him, the man is really surprised and upset. Meanwhile she has been grieving the relationship while still in it. if she moves on soon after the breakup, that should not be too surprising. You'll hear a lot about how men will take women for granted but only realize that after the relationship has been finished for a while. So my best advice would be to really listen to a woman's words / feelings.

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-05-11T23:32:31+00:00

I wouldn't say they get bored faster, I would say they're more prone to getting bored but a lot of relationships can have a great honeymoon phase where both people are on point, and then one person stops doing some of the things that attracted the other person in the first place and shit can go south quick

Dormouse_in_a_teapot · 2021-05-12T00:06:23+00:00

Sure - if you unravel a man to reveal something contrary to the character you assumed he had. Why wouldn’t anyone leave someone who turns out to be disappointing?

wtknight · 2021-05-12T00:14:24+00:00

do women ultimately get bored of relationships faster because new dick is always more exciting?

If the man isn't a quality man in her mind then she'll get bored. If he is a quality man, then she's not going to leave him for the dick of a man who is likely to be a low-quality man, because most men are low-quality to women.

EviessVeralan · 2021-05-12T02:49:21+00:00

I can only speak for myself but i prefer familiarity when it comes to love and sex.

superlurkage · 2021-05-12T15:01:24+00:00

If you have a relationship based on excitement, of course you’re going to get bored if it stops.

Most of us are boring and do not have this problem

South-Brain · 2021-05-13T12:48:48+00:00

Definitely. The man has to keep the woman interested and entertained and if he says or does anything wrong that's all it takes for her to lose interest and she's got a dozen other guys she can swap him out for. Most men are grateful to be in a relationship and would want to keep it as long as they found her attractive.

SaBahRub · 2021-05-11T22:25:05+00:00

Blah blah, seed spreading, blah, biological urge, blah blah, why won’t you let your man fulfill his needs, blah blah blah

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-05-11T21:25:35+00:00

Maybe? Really depends on how well the guy is capable of maintaining an entertaining relationship. The moment he stops investing time into trying to make things feel fun and/or new, that's usually when women get bored and start looking for entertainment elsewhere.

Ozzy_Cortes · 2021-05-11T21:48:57+00:00

Yes.

nyclaurco · 2021-05-11T22:22:36+00:00

really don’t think this is gendered.

as far as men go, i’ve seen some who essentially believe that women aren’t humans and should be used as incubators and chattel as well as for men’s sexual pleasure. they think that women are incredibly boring and have nothing to offer and if they have any interests it must have been influenced by their fathers or exes. i’ve also seen some guys who have oneitis for their entire lives, remaining devoted to one woman from age 14 until they die; they’re either lucky enough to be dating her, or they screw over multiple women whom they try to date even though no one can live up to her or remain volcel because they just can’t quit that one woman. he remains loyal to her whether or not she even acknowledges his existence.

i think that most men are somewhere in between these two extremes. so, normal. as in, they want relationships with women who they really like but would get bored of them after limerance wears off (12-18 months) IF there are glaring incompatibilities (which would lead to boredom). it’s probably also like this for women but a little less extreme on both sides.

Title	Do women get bored of relationships faster than men?
Author	Wobblewobblegobble
Upvotes	51
Comments	285
Date	May 11, 2021 9:21 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/na830e/do_women_get_bored_of_relationships_faster_than/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-get-bored-of-relationships-faster-than.757617 https://theredarchive.com/post/757617

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