This subreddit is heartbreaking

rinkinky · 2021-09-12T19:18:37+00:00

I WAS JUST RANDOMLY AUTOMATICALLY BANNED FROM THE “offmychest” SUBREDDIT FOR POSTING ON AN INCEL FORUM??? It’s referring to THIS forum. I’m like in shock that men speaking THEIR TRUTH is considered an incel thing so much that my post on here got me banned from a random subreddit I didn’t know I was apart of

I don’t even care about getting banned, I just care that this subreddit was called a incel subreddit. That’s infuriating

xx_DEADND_xx · 2021-09-12T19:20:55+00:00

equalism is the way to go

calling a movement for equal rights for everybody using a gendered term is the biggest insult i have seen to men and women and every other person who has been through something terrible due to any person or reasons mentioned by feminism

angery_rowlet · 2021-09-12T19:58:49+00:00

I really like how this sub lets men and women post. Subs like FDS that automatically ban anyone who's not a woman just turn into an echo chamber of hate and anger full of everyone with the exact same takes and no differing opinions.

Also if you don't like the connotations that the label "feminist" has, you can just say you support gender equality.

IntroductionNew3421 · 2021-09-12T19:24:54+00:00

What about gender egalitarianism which refers to equality between sexes. Seems a better name than feminism since it alludes to difficulties of both genders.

I personally believe both women and men have issues with stereotypical gender roles. Both men and women have issues. The problem seems that only womens issues are taken seriously these days.

Also, thank you for you kind words, it really feels nice to have our issues recognised by a woman.

Fast-Mongoose-4989 · 2021-09-12T18:57:51+00:00

Thank you

JaydenLowe02 · 2021-09-12T19:46:15+00:00

People have somehow been convinced that it's Men vs Women. That's simply not the case. I can assure you that 99 percent of the men on this subreddit love and respect women, so long as they aren't part of the communities that are downgrading masculinity and failing to acknowledge our problems. I respect the fact that you acknowledge the struggle that men have to endure, and aren't looking for any reason to discredit what we're saying. There's a documentary called "the red pill" if you're interested. It's about a woman who used to be a hardcore feminist that interviews these men's rights advocates, and ends up fully encapsulated by what we have to say and has her mind blown and changed completely...

bokehmonsnap · 2021-09-12T19:43:18+00:00

A fun test you can try. Make a post on facebook about mens rights and how supportive you are of them, and youll immediately be met with, by women, tons of "whataboutism". "What about female rights?" "Women have it worse?" "Men cant be oppressed". The sheer mention of you advocating for "the other side" will infuriate others

Unfortunately, many people will read "I advocate for mens rights" the same as "I hate women and feminism". Both ideologies can exist and we can demand better treatment for all peoples without demeaning or putting down the other side.

rainbow_bro_bot · 2021-09-12T20:25:05+00:00

And yet there are some people on a certain sub trying night and day to get us banned calling us a "hate" sub.

Men have issues as well as women and there is a need for men's platforms to exist.

DevilishRogue · 2021-09-12T20:30:54+00:00

Meninist is a type of comedian who uses humor to highlight the hypocrisy of feminism when it comes to equal rights. It is not a term to refer to egalitarianism, equality activism or men's rights in any way.

The truth is most people are exactly like you, they've been tricked into believing that feminism supports equality when it actually does the opposite, whilst at the same time blind to men's suffering because of cultural and societal attitudes towards men being disposable and their suffering not only not mattering but being shameful to even acknowledge.

The unpalatable truth is that most people in your shoes not only don't read subreddits like this, they read subreddits that pretend subreddits like this are full of misogyny, incels and hate and so think that those who post here are the bad guys. Feminism certainly turns on those feminists who point out the truth.

And whilst we appreciate the sentiment, the fact is that men's voices are not heard and only your voice is heard. So, please, keep doing what you're doing as people will actually listen to you in a way they won't to men. Men's voices have already been silenced as you've seen yourself with your instaban from /r/offmychest and probably a whole host of other feminist subreddits too.

ElegantDecline · 2021-09-12T20:14:44+00:00

you're not a feminist, nor a meninist. You're a humanist.

You're basically a good decent human being. don't fall for society trying to divide us.

HardcoreCamper · 2021-09-12T19:53:57+00:00

Thank you for the support and it is just crazy that you got banned from that other sub.

I feel were you coming from. As a man I respect women's right and everyone deserves to be heard. Regardless until I joined this sub and started opening up to my male buds about issues. Well.

I was able to understand Men's right differently. I was always sheltered in my way because I never let things happen to me and was living in this tough guy bubble and was oblivious to the fact that other men go through things and keep silent about it. Due to social stigma.

Again thanks for the support. You are always welcome to post here.

thatgirlanya · 2021-09-13T00:23:31+00:00

Hi OP, fellow female here. You don’t have to put a label on your beliefs. You can just be you and believe in genuine equal rights. There’s nothing wrong with that. The more we label, the worse it gets. I believe in men and women’s rights but I don’t label myself as a feminist nor a MRA. Don’t be afraid to go against the grain!

Space_Exploring7_6 · 2021-09-12T19:22:33+00:00

Thank you

BLACKMUSLIMCHAD · 2021-09-12T19:27:53+00:00

thank you

DymondHed · 2021-09-12T19:43:43+00:00

thank you

mangokushpacha · 2021-09-12T20:31:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your support. And consider your ban from that other subreddit a confirmation of your recent learnt lesson and a validation of your current stance on this matter.

gothmommy13 · 2021-09-12T23:56:28+00:00

I agree. I think it's outrageous that men are basically told to sit down and shut up and that they don't matter. I actually saw where somebody had shared a post somewhere else where a woman was saying men, if you're falsely accused of rape then you should sit back and take the charges. Women have been oppressed for years.

In other words they should just accept being falsely accused of something that's going to ruin their life. Even if the truth comes out later that the race never happened, that man is automatically labeled a rapist for the rest of his life. It's time that people start taking men's issues seriously.

rinkinky · 2021-09-12T21:18:36+00:00

I hear a lot of people talking about MGTOW???? What is that and what does it mean I’ve never heard of it

themolestedsliver · 2021-09-12T19:51:53+00:00

I am glad you can understand and you dont justify the abuse men face with victim blaming terms that are used consistently.

wwwhistler · 2021-09-12T20:44:37+00:00

thank you. the fact that someone stopped to investigate the issues...instead of reflexively dismissing them means the world. it is the least we can hope for but the most we usually receive.

Mycroft033 · 2021-09-12T20:21:08+00:00

I appreciate you actually reading what this sub says, rather than judge it based off what mainstream media says. Feminism often argues from insults, anger, and the need to be right. You don’t have to stop caring about women just because you realized men are hurting. Absolutely care about everyone. Care is not a limited resource we have. You can make a difference to the men in your life, and so we appreciate the help. However, you might do better to focus on women’s issues in third world countries, where women face larger issues than mansplaining and manspreading. Now there could be issues I’m unaware of, but based on my research, most of the problems feminists claim women face today are actually the result of statistical misinterpretation, blindness, inherent misandrist biases in the observer, or even straight up ignoring the facts. However, there are genuine issues that both women and men face in third world countries.

If you wanna find out just how deep this rabbit hole goes, you might watch this trailer for an upcoming documentary.

BubbleGumGun101 · 2021-09-12T20:33:10+00:00

I feel what you're saying , it took me quite some time , and speaking with my male friends and my partner to understand that men have issues too and that it isn't only us (afab/females) facing discrimination etc. And i believe that you can be called a feminist/and mra (men's rights advocate) , since you are for equality and not some extremes that modern feminism implies

Living-Reference5329 · 2021-09-12T20:16:13+00:00

Op, I Thankyou . Very refreshing to hear, and god knows we really appreciate the support. But yes the sad truth is if you post here groups like “female dating strategy “ etc seem to ban you, as they feel we all hate woman, if we dare question the authenticity of an allegation it’s presumed we are trying to silence woman coming forward, when in reality. We don’t assume guilty we keep an open mind dependant in evidence! Welcome to the group and again Thankyou

3sther3 · 2021-09-13T01:37:03+00:00

Same girl, same.

Noob_master_slayer · 2021-09-13T03:07:37+00:00

There is no feminist and menimist. There is only egalitarian. If you support the rights of both, then you're an egalitarian.

Aelspeth87 · 2021-09-13T07:02:45+00:00

Yep. This was my exact feeling when I found this subreddit too. I used to think I was feminist, I have been treated like shit because of my gender too, I think we all have at some point in our lives. When I saw the direction feminism was going in; barking out the validity and later superiority of being female, and the astonishing and incredibly short sighted hatred of men, I just couldn’t say I was any kind of feminist without rolling my eyes and cringing at myself.

I’ve witnessed the worst in both genders, and I really did expect myself to distrust all men. But it’s just not the experience I’ve had, so now, I’m humanist.

I do however have a particular pull towards men’s rights, the world has become more and more aware, or at least afraid of, sexism towards women. It still happens big time but it also happens to men, and I don’t see the same recognition or validity of this as with female rights. And that’s disturbing.

We are going too far in the opposite direction and we need to start pulling towards the middle, hit the iceberg head on and we have a chance to limp forward towards rescue, hit it on either side and we all go down.

Itrusttheinternett · 2021-09-12T19:58:01+00:00

http://empathygap.uk/

https://www.youtube.com/user/girlwriteswhat

https://www.youtube.com/user/Aceticacidplease

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd2epsgcEhiF3LzXAkQlhFQ

Here are a few of my favourite references that aren't mentioned in the side bar :)

Thank you for caring!

Edit: This is also a great reference!

https://menarehuman.com/citations/

Simonwedsolatunji · 2021-09-12T19:59:28+00:00

Thank u ,welcome

Djosa1 · 2021-09-12T21:01:45+00:00

Appreciate, thank you

hottake_toothache · 2021-09-12T21:03:23+00:00

Thank you for your message. It is good to be reminded that women like you exist--although in my personal experience, they are exceedingly rare.

nelsonbt · 2021-09-12T21:09:36+00:00

I like this OP.

SamaelET · 2021-09-12T21:12:58+00:00

We have a citations list of male issues (academic papers mostly) : https://menarehuman.com/citations/ and a discord server : https://discord.gg/EnxNBW2jG7

ConclusionDistinct84 · 2021-09-12T21:17:43+00:00

Awww. You don't know how long I've waited to hear something like this ^^

Emotional-Ninja-7908 · 2021-09-12T21:49:04+00:00

Thanks for being such a lovely woman

Potatolover3 · 2021-09-12T21:53:54+00:00

Its important to note that just because you fight for women's issues doesn't mean you can't also fight for men's issues

z770i1 · 2021-09-12T22:31:59+00:00

I'm not an MRA or a feminist. I don't hate feminists. I have feminism system is turned into. Feminism is about helping everyone, but when men need help, they need to figure it out alone. No help from other.

And feminism puts all issues under "toxic masculinity" making it not helpful talking about specific issues that needs addressing,, yet still shames men when they do feel emotion. And now toxic masculinity has turned into full on hating masculinity. I watched Lucifer and season 6 had Adam taking about toxic masculinity and how is common. They only use the excuse to ignore men's issues. We don't say women's issues is from "toxic feminity" do we?

2021-09-12T23:52:26+00:00

amen

reddut_gang · 2021-09-13T00:05:25+00:00

I don't think the two communities can ever come together until these get sorted out:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/9v6tqj/a_list_about_feminism_misandry_for_anyone_who/

MamawithAS · 2021-09-13T01:26:06+00:00

Hear, hear!! What she said.

Panderjit_SinghVV · 2021-09-13T01:54:56+00:00

That sex discrimination against men is both accepted and often legal in many western nations is the biggest issue in my view. Without equal fundamental legal rights men can never be equal participants in society and will steadily lose representation and further rights.

AdultGamefan141 · 2021-09-13T02:13:32+00:00

I feel like OP gives great hugs.

neverXmiss · 2021-09-13T02:20:33+00:00

That makes you an egalitarian.

aljordankntc · 2021-09-13T02:28:41+00:00

I’ve visited women-related subreddits and majority of them will shut down or laugh off men’s issues, and even block anyone who posts here. It’s aggravating how much other women refuse to listen to men. Anyways I enjoy lurking here and always learning from men and how I can better myself as a woman.

0mnica · 2021-09-13T02:39:07+00:00

Men and women both have issues and problems, the difference is when men speak about their issues and problems, we are shutdown and insulted.

xcheshirecatxx · 2021-09-13T02:44:31+00:00

You're egalitarian. What feminists try to make us believe they are.

You should also check out intactivism, that another big men issue

LuckyFoxPL · 2021-09-13T03:03:09+00:00

I believe egalitarian is the word you are looking for. I think feminist originally meant the same thing but it definitely doesn't now.

CiudadanoNADIE · 2021-09-13T03:53:59+00:00

My Spanish-american grand, grand father was in Omaha. He was moderately old school and he talked to my dad a couple times about how men expressed their fear and sadness after the campaign was over. He mentioned that he and one of his cousins reunited after the campaign and cried while hugging each other. A couple soldiers mentioned how lucky they were both to survive. And no one's eyebrows were raised.

My point is that in all eras, there have been men who openly express their feelings, but they don't do so in front of their wives. When you panic in front of people who count on you, you're not the only one who gets harmed. When men keep their feelings in check is not only because they want to be looked at as strong men, but because emotions are contagious. In order to benefit their families, and themselves, they need to stay calm. There's a place and a moment to do so.

windsquid1993 · 2021-09-13T04:08:11+00:00

Thank you for even looking this way. I would recommend watching and sharing the documentary "The red pill (2017) > I believe it's been uploaded on youtube as well. It's a documentary worth a watch.

formerratt · 2021-09-13T04:12:06+00:00

This means so much. Thank you OP, this really made me happy.

TheHardwayExpress · 2021-09-13T04:13:42+00:00

Thank you for commenting, and for your support. That means a lot.

Henry_Blair · 2021-09-13T05:27:33+00:00

Thank you. You have lightened my day with your kind words.

We don't have to call ourselves feminists or meninsts, we can all call ourselves humanists, and support equality because we support everyone, not any human of a particular kind. I call myself a lovist. I support love.

Shabbalooobiedoobie · 2021-09-13T06:54:44+00:00

I am a female and I have thought for so long now (the past 7 years... ever since attending college) that the modern feminist movement has gone way too far and is very extreme in what they teach at colleges and what they preach. It actually really upsets me. It's something that my husband and I (as well as my dad and I) talk about quite a bit. They don't complain or want others feeling bad for them in any way... it's just interesting and obsurd how much toxic masculinity is thrown around these days. What's wrong with masculinity? Nothing! It is essential and so important! Men are just as important as women.

DaanLettah · 2021-09-13T09:17:23+00:00

I'm just here to test the theory of being banned if I post this

Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-09-12T19:27:20+00:00

Please stop supporting feminism casual radical whatever it doesnt matter stop.
If what you want is equality and womens rights and mens rights then Egalitarianism is your movement to identify with.
Please stop fueling the feminsit movment that is hurting men so much we can all have equality and rights without feminism wich is baggage from last century that doesnt fit properly in this one, it did its thing, lets move on please.

Lady-Lummox · 2021-09-12T19:57:19+00:00

It's always nice to see a post like this. Non-judgmental approaches are very rare on Reddit. I'll copy-paste a couple of the usual links, in case you're interested in learning more about the stuff we talk about here:

https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/9v6tqj/a_list_about_feminism_misandry_for_anyone_who/

https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/lec134/re_do_you_guys_hate_feminism/ (Leftwingmaleadvocates is another good sub).

And this is a classic: https://np.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/68v91b/woman_who_lied_about_being_sexually_assaulted/dh23pwo/

Some other advice, I'd recommend staying away from r / menslib, it's a toxic feminist place that doesn't allow real discussions about men's issues. See here. Anyway, thanks for checking this place out, have a good day.

D0wnVoteMe_PLZ · 2021-09-12T20:13:36+00:00

Feminism was supposed to be about both men's and women's issues but it only became a place about women's issues.

but I realize how blind I’ve been to men’s issues and I think maybe that’s because I’ve only experienced life as a woman so I only know my own issues.

You don't have to be a specific gender to understand what issues another gender faces. Take an example of trans people. Even if you are not trans, you understand they face a lot of issues and difficulties in society. Same with men (and women of course). The issues might be different but it doesn't mean they are not important. Even you have mentioned some of them yourself.

ChadWolf98 · 2021-09-12T21:20:46+00:00

>> but I can say I’m a casual feminist? cause I believe in women’s rights.

You can say what you wish, but beyond a certain point, especially in the west women's equality becomes women superiority.

Women, imo in modern societies enjoy the same rights as men. Whatever social expectation remains is hard to change since its thousand year old beliefs or values, and I dont think they are an obstacle to female equality

Maybe call yourslef an egalitarian? Today there are areas where women are still behind, but there are many where men are seriously disadwantaged.

So I think its commendabe you wish to support us

graysonuk · 2021-09-12T21:21:31+00:00

You don't need to be a feminist to belive in women rights. Just fight for equality for both male and females as both genders fave issues.

RickWest495 · 2021-09-12T21:33:52+00:00

These days, a woman can make any accusation and it’s taken as truth. It doesn’t matter if you prove it false later. The damage is done. It’s the perfect way to get rid of a male competitor. Those who make false accusations are not prosecuted. And it disrespects the pain suffered by those who have truly been assaulted.

Glum-Pen-728 · 2021-09-12T23:09:55+00:00

cause I believe in women’s rights.

You could believe in everyone's rights and that would include women.

MezzaCorux · 2021-09-12T23:23:33+00:00

Sadly too many people think giving men equal rights means oppressing women. Glad to have another ally.

DCG-Gaming · 2021-09-12T23:33:20+00:00

Maybe call yourself an egalitarian.

AndyBrown65 · 2021-09-12T23:39:12+00:00

Thanks for your post of support.

One of the things you'll find with feminism is that it has been highjacked by female chauvinists who think that women's issues are the only thing that matter and that men are just cry babies for bringing up relevant issues.

As you noted, whenever a men's issue is raised, it never calls for men to have more rights than women, just the same. For example, child custody post separation. Men call for 50/50 custody, yet the female chauvinists don't like this and this men are being unreasonable. Men call for 50/50 split of assets instead of the courts biasing women, yet the female chauvinists don't like this and this men are being unreasonable.

ShoutoutsToSimple · 2021-09-13T01:44:46+00:00

being looked at in fear because of how men are being portrayed as a whole

Once you start noticing it, it's kind of impossible to stop noticing it. Men are consistently portrayed terribly in modern media. Movies and TV shows are constantly portraying men are weak, pathetic, incompetent, evil, rapey, etc.

Basically any time a female is the lead, any men in the story will be evil, incompetent, or both. They're only there to prop the women up by comparison, to show how much better women are than men. And any time a male is the lead, it's basically a guarantee that he will have a female partner who is just as competent as he is, if not more, because to have a man accomplishing things on his own wouldn't fit the agenda. It's pretty common to see movies and TV shows where it feels like there is a completely superfluous female character, where it's pretty clear they took all of the actions and dialogue that should belong to the male lead, split them up into two, and give half to the man and half to the woman, to avoid the man being portrayed as a complete character on his own.

The way men are portrayed these days is incredibly sexist, but because it's happening to men, no one cares. If black people were consistently portrayed the way men are, people would revolt over racism. And the same goes for women, for gay people, etc. It's not okay to consistently denigrate these groups, as if they are inherently bad. But it's considered perfectly okay to do that to men.

And the ironic thing is, not only do people not push back against this as sexist, but they use it as justification for further sexism. So many people seem to have the lowest opinion of men, and it quickly becomes apparent that they are basing their opinion of men off of these common traits which show up in movies and TV shows. So the problem compounds on itself.

Like I said, once you start to notice it, you can't stop noticing it.

az226 · 2021-09-13T03:17:25+00:00

You are on the right path of equality, for everyone.

You’ll find that most men’s rights supporters are also strong women’s rights supporters. And similarly were behind the first couple of waves of feminism, but don’t support today’s third wave of feminism which isn’t so much about equality as it is about supremacy.

Thank you for broadening your horizons and taking a more open approach to human rights.

Susy_baka175 · 2021-09-13T04:09:17+00:00

Thanks you

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2021-09-13T04:44:51+00:00

It's nice to hear a feminist who supports men. I am genuinely grateful for women like you who see the problems on both sides and don't just act selfishly (only supporting your own gender and keeping a blind eye towards the societal problems men face). If more women can be like you then perhaps men and women can finally come to alignment and we can have a sort of utopia between the sexes.

I personally have nothing against basic feminism, but I have a problem with toxic aspects of it. I actually do think feminism witnesses some of the problems men face because feminists realize that men have more expectations placed on them in society. It's like that saying by Chris Rock, "Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are loved under the condition that they provide something." I think many men feel this way.

Women are often treated better than men in many instances because of the simple fact that they are women and men will go out of their way to do things for women if it means a relationship or sex in return. I think this is just a biological instinct. Unfortunately, women don't go out of their way to do things for men in the same way because women are "the prize" in many instances. Now, there are exceptions of course, but I just want feminists to realize that this is not a one sided battle.

And in fact, perhaps the actual problem is that men and women just don't understand each other enough, and we have to learn more about each others preferences, needs, and desires. It is necessary to face the fact that men and women have different biology, and changes in the environment can only do so much, despite what politics may say. Men can not just neuter themselves and act completely different from their nature. This is not an excuse for men to act like insensitive animals. I am just stating that there is a significant difference, not only in biology, but in life experience between men and women. This needs to be factored in when fighting for equality.

ksaarthak · 2021-09-13T04:52:12+00:00

Well, there is a chance that this subreddit may get banned by reddit. This happened to many subreddits supporting Men's Rights...

Punder_man · 2021-09-13T05:37:59+00:00

Firstly welcome OP to our slice of the internet.
It's refreshing to hear that our struggles are being heard and acknowledged.

I would say that, after reading through our sub if you feel that you want to support men but also support women as well that would now make you an egalitarian.
Either way you're welcome to participate in our community.

Nothing has to stop you from believing in women's rights, but at least you can be an example of the rare feminist whom actually IS for equality, rather than the supremacy of women.

Just know that there are many of us whom see the double standards and push more to have the injustices / rights of men looked into.. but that doesn't mean we don't support equality for women either.

Welcome to the MRA subreddit

Bara-enthusiast · 2021-09-13T09:03:29+00:00

While I don't entirely like Karen Straughan I can agree with what she said on the topic of feminism.

Why call yourself a feminist? Do you believe real feminists care about equality

To paraphrase miss Straughan's idea in my words:

Why are you, the online feminist the real feminist? Are the women that shape policies, talk in front of the UN, are in UN women not the real feminists? They push their change.

Donna Hylton - a woman who tortured a gay man over a week, raped him and murdered him was invited to speak on women's march. Who do you think has more impact in the movement?

Mary P Koss denied men and boys can be victims of rape, even if molested.

What about the white feather movement that harassed men into going to a war and dying

If real feminism existed, it's been long tainted by monstrous figureheads who don't care about equality. You may be the one feminist who cares about equal rights,but you don't have the positive impact, you simply "count" as one of the supporters of the people stated above.

At this point is it worth it to call yourself a feminist? Even with your best effort for equality you at best make no difference, and at worse support exactly what you claim to oppose.

Deadly_Fire_Trap · 2021-09-13T09:12:06+00:00

I really appreciate people like you, thank you for reaching out.

mcove97 · 2021-09-13T12:54:00+00:00

Hey! Fellow woman here who supports both women's and mens rights equally. I'm glad more and more women are becoming aware of the issues men face from mens (MRAs) perspectives and not only women's (feminists) perspective. If we ever are gonna work out our gender differences in a healthy manner, we have to be willing to see each others issues through the others lense and not only through our own.

michaelpaoli · 2021-09-12T21:18:14+00:00

Thanks for stopping by and bothering to read/listen!

Yeah, generally better understanding all 'round when folks bother to stop and listen ... even better yet, understand.

I am a feminist

Nothin' wrong with that - lots of folks put themselves under that label. But unfortunately there are problems with some folks, etc. that will put themselves under that label - or most any other label.

I’ve only experienced life as a

Generally an issue all 'round. Folks think they know what it's like to live as another, but never having done so, they're often so very incorrect in their presumptions, and have little clue what it's actually like. E.g. man, woman, person of color, poor/impoverished person/family, refugee, various disabilities - especially "invisible" disabilities, much etc.

your voice gets shut down

Yeah, that happens to a lot of persons/groups when it ought not and they ought be heard.

False accusations

Yeah, they majorly hurt everyone all 'round. Not only the falsely accused, but throws under suspicion all accusations - because some make false accusations.

can’t say I’m one with the feminist community

I don't think it's even one with itself - and I think one could well say likewise of, e.g. "mens' rights advocacy/activists". Most any sufficiently large group/movement, there will be fair bit of diversity, and not everyone will agree on everything.

ashamed to say I’m a feminist

Shouldn't have to be. But alas, sometimes there are some that put themselves under that label/banner ... or most any other, ... uhm, yeah, embarrassing, to say the least.

I believe in women’s rights

Nothin' wrong with that, and I so believe too, as do certainly also many men.

hope both communities can come together one day

Yep, so do I. Often the more outrageous and wrong-headed arguments - from whomever and whatever "side" - I just flip the genders to make clear how absurd and unfair - regardless of sides.

men deserve rights too

Yep.

WholeWheatPotato · 2021-09-13T02:49:41+00:00

feminism is ok in and of itself, there are some socially discriminatory practices done in society against women, and there’s nothing wrong w voicing the unfairness of that.

what isn’t ok is blaming men for everything and forcing tokenism in entertainment.

both men and women have issues that get ignored by society, and mental health and well-being as a whole is largely neglected in society for some reason.

mfuentz · 2021-09-13T09:17:59+00:00

Know that it isn’t mutually exclusive to be a feminist and advocate for men’s rights. The sword swings both ways and we are all victims of gender inequality.

thedeadllama · 2021-09-12T20:33:20+00:00

Thank you

The_big_A666 · 2021-09-12T20:48:38+00:00

Thank you so much, people need to realise that the mrm is about solving men’s issues not causing women’s issues. Women have problems that need to be solved, men have problems that need to be solved. Silencing one helps no one. Edit: I forgot to say but if you ever see anyone being sexist or mysoginistic for no reason tell them to go and do one

HadrianHoppe · 2021-09-12T21:35:33+00:00

Thank you. Whenever i see somebody label themselves as a feminist, it's a red flag, because it almost always means they will be hostile to, or dismissive of men's issues, because they prescribe to a narrative that only female victimhood matters, or that only females can be victims...

Please help us stop male genital mutilation!!!!

bob-object · 2021-09-12T21:38:14+00:00

I’m glad your able to see the truth. So many people are brainwashed to think that we are evil. All we are trying to do it get help.

quijote3000 · 2021-09-12T21:54:34+00:00

Thank you. Beautiful words

skellious · 2021-09-12T22:00:55+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I use the term egalitarian myself. I want equal rights for everyone, not just men or just women.

HannibalsProtege · 2021-09-12T22:05:25+00:00

Thank you for being a human being. There's nothing else to add that others haven't said already, but thank you for being a human being.

mrstark69 · 2021-09-12T22:17:44+00:00

Thank you

Dahata13666 · 2021-09-12T22:38:26+00:00

I'd have to say that you are a true feminist, as you fight for equal rights, not just female rights. (yes I am aware of how it sounds, I just don't know how else to say it.)

Women that are toxic like extreme feminists you describe, I like to call Feminazis as they don't care about equality, they just want to usurp whatever supposed male ruler is keeping them down. I remember reading a post about how actual feminists won the right to be drafted for the military on equal terms as men. The comments of that section were full of feminazis, a lot of them even revoked their equal rights saying "Nah ah, I'm not going to an army, you can keep your rights.". I was in shock, so many women are still discriminated against just because they're women, and these idiots, dragging the title of Feminist in the mud with such words and actions. It's disgraceful.

NorpedHolland · 2021-09-12T22:48:35+00:00

This. We need more of this. People who honestly look at new information despite their current point of view.

thestrucguyYT · 2021-09-12T23:36:21+00:00

Nice 🙂

DouglasWallace · 2021-09-12T23:57:31+00:00

but I can say I’m a casual feminist? cause I believe in women’s rights

One of the reasons (I don't pretend it is the biggest) that I am an anti-feminist is because I support women's rights.

I support the rights of all people, including all women. Feminism doesn't really support women, and certainly not the vast majority who aren't Marxists or high-flying academics with 5-figure salaries.

International_Risk82 · 2021-09-12T23:59:06+00:00

You wouldn't call yourself a feminist OP if you truly understood the movement and its true intentions. With such an open and compassionate mentality you belong in the egalitarian community.

MillionWilliam · 2021-09-13T00:35:19+00:00

The thing is that many people believe that feminism and men's rights should come together under a new label. Women have their own issues in society and we shouldn't ignore them, but I believe men's issues are more urgent.

Luckily, as a society we can do more than one thing at a time. Feminism believes that the patriarchy is to blame for all problems. As man, I can't believe that.

Utertoq · 2021-09-13T01:16:31+00:00

That's what I think. Of course women has to have their rights respected, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. We men also need our space, we are all humans after all.

2021-09-13T01:22:40+00:00

Commenting here in the hopes other stupid subreddits ban me automatically

ShoutoutsToSimple · 2021-09-13T01:36:39+00:00

Personally I am a feminist, not hardcore or anything but I realize how blind I’ve been to men’s issues and I think maybe that’s because I’ve only experienced life as a woman so I only know my own issues

It's not because you are a woman. It's because feminism has a stranglehold over the narrative in western society, and feminism relies on keeping people in the dark about men's issues. If society cared about men's issues in addition to women's issues, people would move away from feminism and more toward egalitarianism. And feminism can't have that. It's a cult which insists upon itself. Feminism is not pro-women. It's pro-feminism. The thing it cares about more than anything is self-propagation. And keeping people believing that men are privileged in every way is required in order to keep people supporting feminism.

I hope you didn't take any of that as an attack against you, as a self-proclaimed feminist. I would wager the majority of people who consider themselves feminists are like yourself, simply unaware of how much damage feminism causes. But if you truly consider yourself in favor of gender equality, I'd distance yourself from the label of feminism, because that isn't what it truly stands for.

NMRofthestate · 2021-09-13T01:37:25+00:00

So as for being a "casual feminist", the term is egalitarian. You care about the issues that men and women face equally. I believe that the term egalitarian does not get enough visibility which I have attributed publicity that feminism gets. All feminists will say "oh feminist issues are everyone's issues"a, but that is just propaganda if you fight for both female and male rights you are an egalitarian. Thank you for coming to my Tedx and thank you for caring.

Ferninja · 2021-09-13T01:39:37+00:00

Hey thanks. Wow that was incredibly nice and supportive of you. I'm not very active here. You don't have to feel bad for being a feminist. I for one believe all paths are valid. Just thanks for taking the time to stop and learn about our corner of the world too. :)

DrDeli_ · 2021-09-13T02:07:48+00:00

thank you so much

liamcoded · 2021-09-13T02:46:38+00:00

Hold on... "meninist"? All this time I thought we were Manatees. 🥺

seamusdoherty · 2021-09-13T04:18:48+00:00

It’s really nice to hear somebody say this as an outside party, but unfortunately by supporting us you have now just self destructed as far as Reddit is concerned. r/MensRights being an “incel” sub and all.

DougDante · 2021-09-13T04:24:01+00:00

Welcome. Please stay and participate in our community.

Itsfreddyboy1 · 2021-09-13T04:31:26+00:00

Thank you for the nice comment

FajitaLad · 2021-09-13T07:42:50+00:00

Hey OP, thanks for having an open mind and recognizing that we both have problems. You seem really cool, and like someone I would have a nice coffee with(he says, basically being a shut-in). I think we collectively wish the best for you!

DeadSkullMonkey · 2021-09-13T08:01:09+00:00

Let's all be humanists and fight for equality in general for everyone. It's time ✊

time2trouble · 2021-09-13T08:24:53+00:00

Thanks for posting. Please keep on speaking out. As a woman, you have far more credibility with society when it comes to gender-based issues than we do. Men are often just viewed as complaining/whining. One woman can have a larger impact than 10 men on a men's rights topic.

Mark_Freed · 2021-09-13T11:17:35+00:00

Thanks... it makes me emotional whenever I hear girls realize how bad guys have it. I am optimistic things will get better if both genders show empathy to each other's problems. We can negotiate in good faith and structure society fairly.

PrimeWolf88 · 2021-09-13T12:05:38+00:00

I think you've clocked on fairly well to the ruse. Feminists claim to be for human rights, but are only pushing for women's rights; as evident by how they absolutely oppose men having a voice in anything. They literally oppose men even having a space to talk about their own issues. They're extremist supremacists, and worryingly they have power. And even worse, they've been abusing that power to turn society into a matriarchy for decades.

Men can't have a space to talk about their issues without being slurred, shut down, even assaulted by feminists. Men can't show emotion without being called weak by feminists. Men can't be successful without being labelled oppressive, or part of the mythical patriarchy. Men can't seek help from abusive partners since the Government only fund shelters for women, only help homeless women, don't believe men can be abused, treat men as worthless.

local_meme_dealer45 · 2021-09-13T13:09:32+00:00

I realize how blind I’ve been to men’s issues and I think maybe that’s because I’ve only experienced life as a woman so I only know my own issues

I feel this is the main issue we have with getting mainstream attention especially from feminists as they've never experienced the issue first hand so assume we're making it up or exaggerating how bad it is.

OneSpiffyWhaleShark · 2021-09-13T13:22:17+00:00

I’m 14 and when I read through all of this stuff I feel scared for the world ahead of me. It legitimately frightens me that nobody cares about how I feel. And I have a lot of baggage and trauma, because when I was 10 my dad ended his own life. I was heartbroken, but I bottled a lot of my emotions, and now that I know society really doesn’t care about my feelings, it really scares me.

Pepethejeep · 2021-09-13T15:04:11+00:00

Thanks, it sucks that males are often treated as potential threats/ disposable. When I first attended my university as a freshman, they gave a presentation on sexual assault and rape. Through the presentation, males were blamed for being primary perpetrators of these crimes and as such, we all needed to learn how to keep our dick in our pants and respect women. Nothing was ever said about male victims.

I also went to the title IX office years later and complained about this and how it isn’t right. The administration had changed and they basically said they didn’t do that anymore so fuck off.

What’s surprising to me, is that colleges wonder why male application rates are dropping and why others are wondering why males turn their backs to the world so often.

dankvader192 · 2021-09-13T15:19:13+00:00

This is precious. Thank you.

Denerios · 2021-09-13T15:37:12+00:00

Maybe consider egalitarianism?

darkknight234455 · 2021-09-13T17:24:43+00:00

Lol women and men posting here will get banned regardless of what is said lol. You can’t defend men from women who have had bad experiences and want all men to suffer for there mishaps. Don’t get me wrong there are crazy ass basteds men out there that hurt the living shit out of women and also other men. And also women who hurt men as well as other women all in the name of love or what ever the hell its called and each of said sex blames the other because for them it’s easyer to put the fault on someone else than take responsibility for there own fuck ups. But that is life sad none the less.

Soldier137 · 2021-09-13T17:37:56+00:00

You don’t have to be a feminist to support women’s rights.

Soldier137 · 2021-09-13T17:49:47+00:00

I really appreciate it when women post things like this here. It reminds me not everyone in the world is against me, a 34 y/o single white straight man. About 6 months ago I completely lost access to my 6 y/o daughter, long story short, because I’m not willing to be a radical feminist. My daughter mother married a trans woman, and became trans herself. Even though I did everything I could to support them and be accepting of their beliefs and choices, it wasn’t enough. I still don’t know what more I as suppose to do. But they decided they didn’t my daughter to have a “straight white male” influence in her life, so I guess I don’t get to see my daughter again. I’ve done everything possible to fight it.

LateralThinker13 · 2021-09-13T17:54:45+00:00

meninist

Not a thing. Egalitarian is the most common middle ground term. Or just a Human Rights Activist. Whole point of the MRM is to stop gendering law and rights.

spvcebound · 2021-09-15T23:17:44+00:00

I think I speak for most, if not all of us when I say that we appreciate your acknowledgement, it's incredibly rare to see. I also think many of us share common views with you, falling into the "casual feminist" category. We know that it's not just men that face prejudice. Women face a completely different, yet just as valid, set of challenges. I think if we had a lot more people like you, and just as many men who could see the issues women face, the world could really change for the better.

nacho-chonky · 2021-09-18T06:13:40+00:00

The term your looking for isn’t meninist lol, just say you are for equal rights across the board, call yourself an egalitarian

pubgmisc · 2021-09-12T20:45:51+00:00

It's just that the west lives under gynocentric social order. Women have a lot of 'rights', and they still continue to initiate most divorces, take custody of the kids (might as well add tactics on top of using kids as leverage), don't want to necessarily take care of their man, ie. making lemonade in summer. When stuff happens in the world like in Afghanistan, the media immediately jumps to "how are the women???", and ignores the men that died falling off the airplane, or if men die in war -> "women most affected". Stuff like that. Boys are also being raised as defective girls... So no men's 'voices aren't being heard' but it is what it is. Men get fired from jobs for speaking the truth. People are so stupid as well. For example, your feminists believe that patriarchies are bad, when in reality they keep checks and balances, keep authority and responsibility together. Any form of men's standards for women is considered ' misogynistic'. Life is hell for men in the west. If you wanna know more about your feminists, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CGduTEpTgw&ab\_channel=FreshandFit

annnoonnnoonn · 2021-09-12T20:56:38+00:00

Did you know that I am avoiding women all the time now?

I don't look at them, I put my head down under my baseball cap so they can't see me, I stay away from them in public places. As if they were lepers or something.

Not because I'm bad looking or shy, just because I don't want to go be accused of something I didn't do.

TLDR. I also left my GF of 10 years, after realising I just wasted a decade having two jobs or being 6 days a week for 12h in one of them. Just to support the family while she didn't work at all.

I'm pretty sure I want to be single for the rest of my life after that. The trauma and possibility to have it happen again, I would just end myself.

Edit: OP, thank you for your support.

neoalfa · 2021-09-12T20:19:24+00:00

There is nothing wrong with being a feminist. Women have issues exclusives to their gender that must be addressed. The falsehood is that feminism is about equality because it fails to take men's issues into account unless they also affect women.

You can be a feminist and a men's rights activist. Case in point, you can advocate for the right to abortion and at the same time support the right of men to walk away and not be bound to child support for 18+ years.

They aren't mutually exclusive. It's not a zero-sum game.

meenamjah · 2021-09-12T19:59:32+00:00

Modern Feminism is no longer true feminism, but hembrism. It's about trampling men's rights to further female rights, and is basically female supremacy. It should be about equal rights, but isn't the case.

WartimeDad · 2021-09-12T23:59:22+00:00

I’m a man and consider myself a feminist. I don’t think it’s a zero sum game. There are men’s rights problems and there are women’s rights problems. There is hatred of men. There is hatred of women. Neither of those things is okay.

The issue I see right now is that it is culturally unacceptable to talk about the fact that men have rights, are denied rights, face hatred every single day, and that there is are structural problems that subjugate men. All those things happen to women too, maybe even more so, but at least there is discourse for women.

Abused men have literally no support group. They have nowhere to go. They are even ridiculed for being abused. Blamed.

It’s tragic.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-09-13T04:18:46+00:00

Feminists walk along side egalitarians? LOL.

Feminism is a sexist, anti-male hate movement founded in Marxism.

The veil is off the monster.

Begone, feminist.

PlayBoiPeach · 2021-09-13T01:48:22+00:00

this has to be satire 😟

pqppqpqqp · 2021-09-13T04:41:15+00:00

Don’t be any sort of feminist. That’s just saying “I’m pro female and anti male.” Seriously that’s literally all you’re saying.

DavidByron2 · 2021-09-12T20:12:56+00:00

I think maybe that’s because I’ve only experienced life as a woman

Plenty of women here. It's because you're a feminist that you shut your eyes to sexism.

but I can say I’m a casual feminist?

Can we say you're casually in a hate movement?

I hope both communities can come together one day

Feminists literally go around saying all men should be killed (KAM). What's the compromise position? Half of men should be killed?

AmuseDeath · 2021-09-13T05:23:55+00:00

If you're a proponent of women's rights, you are a women's rights activist. You do not have to be a feminist to fight for women's rights; that's a common misunderstanding perpetuated by feminists. Women's rights activists fight for women's issues but do so without all of the feminist mumbo jumbo theories and lies like the wage gap, male gaze or rape culture. Feminism tries to equate criticizing their silly theories as being the same as being misogynist; it's crazy.

csycs · 2021-09-13T06:46:58+00:00

You're not feminist but that's another high-scale discussion. That's a very good thing.

As we stated before here, feminism is an ideology that pictures the reality as it is beneficial for its own agenda, absolutely nothing to do on how things truly are. Once you understand that, things start to get better both for men and women.

Ideologies are a social agreement of individuals suffering dissociative disorder.

Dat_H · 2021-09-13T18:47:33+00:00

There is a difference between feminists, who fight for equality, and feminazis, who fight for more rights than men. So you are feminist, but in the right way I think

vitringur · 2021-09-13T04:35:58+00:00

Feminism is also about mens rights. All of these problems that men face are part of the same patriarchy that feminism criticises.

GrieferBeefer · 2021-09-13T00:57:04+00:00

The issue really Is that like children, they women are slowly acquiring that let us protect them kinda position in society. According to me the real reason for such shit happening everywhere is that feminism is no longer a public movement rarely if ever do women have to do anything for the judges or the government or any other institution to understand and agree if something wrong is happening. And over the years we have established just so much institutions such women and child protection services (here in India) and women police which can arrest both men and women but men policemen can't arrest women. The real reason is feminism has become a pr stunt, every government wants to protect women NOT EVERYONE WHO may be facing the same issue like domestic violence, rape(defined in Indian law as forceful penetration vagina by a pensi) etc. But when 'inclusive programs' include women, the transgender, asexuals, and every other minority, and slowly it becomes an exclusive program, and because they are just excluding men that it all. Thanks for coming to my rant.

Aarongangster · 2021-09-13T02:34:50+00:00

If you believe both genera should be equal then I guess everyone here is a feminist to what we mean by feminist is KAM girls and extremist (Feminazis)

DeadWing651 · 2021-09-13T02:50:48+00:00

Okay posting to see what subs ban me

seriousoftubes · 2021-09-13T07:20:05+00:00

The language is far less neutral broadly microcosms really most much older then these days pitch a rising tide annually and provide one example

TakeTheVeilCerpin · 2021-09-13T09:59:17+00:00

Meninism wasn’t real. It was just an ironic parody of the “woke feminist” movement, especially the one on Twitter.

Jandies · 2021-09-13T10:32:27+00:00

we appreciate your open-mind and empathy. it really is amazing to see.

djc_tech · 2021-09-13T10:42:27+00:00

For me - have if to go through a court system that unfairly marked me as an incapable parent and undeserving of my kids time and love based on the fact I’m a man did it for me. I didn’t do anything other than be a male and spent upwards of 70k just to be able to see my kid a little less than half the time. I was told I was going to get once every other weekend. Why? Why shouldn’t I get 50/50? I have always been on my kids life and my ex travelled more than I did and I took care of them.

She tries to say she was worried I had depression and that I wasn’t capable - yet I was capable enough to watch my kid when she decided to travel. The family courts never asked her those questions so here I was constantly oh the defense based solely on my gender.

Men’s rights to me is the ability to have equal and fair parenting and treated the same. People consistently tell me all men get a step up. More women in CEO positions and all that. Want to know what else is a male dominated field? Sewage workers and power line technicians; I have yet to see women clamoring to get into those fields because females aren’t represented there

COOLSKELETON100 · 2021-09-13T13:10:29+00:00

There's no need to worry about being feminist woman's rights matter just as much as mens rights

Hellfang1 · 2021-09-13T14:22:56+00:00

In what time period after 1950 has women not had rights?

Causal? Go fuck yourself. You shouldn't be one at all if you sympathize with us. If you stay feminist you will never learn and fall into every trap. Feminism is a taboo word now and so it should. Feminism in the modern world only means female extremist with superiority complex. I'll have it either way. Equal or I am a traditionalist. I am a traditionalist now and don't see myself every going back.

CEBA_nol · 2021-09-13T14:52:46+00:00

You had me in the first half, I'm not gonna lie.

CanadaMoose72 · 2021-09-19T19:23:43+00:00

There are many significant issues that affect men in society that are completely ignored.

gondollas · 2021-09-13T06:17:14+00:00

a man wrote this

theInfiniteHammer · 2021-09-13T01:33:12+00:00

having to live up to the strict gender role of being “tough” and not crying or you’ll be ridiculed for showing emotions

I've honestly never experienced that, and I don't think I know of anyone who ever has.

Only_Car_5508 · 2021-09-12T21:36:18+00:00

feminism is the answer to men's troubles as well. patriarchy harms everyone.

Jack_M_Steel · 2021-09-13T01:21:13+00:00

This is real /s

ScreamWhileIWatch · 2021-09-13T02:15:03+00:00

Was the Black Pink Pewdiepie collab real?

Rose-Berri · 2021-09-13T11:48:39+00:00

Came from r/menwritingwomen 😂😂😂

Title	This subreddit is heartbreaking
Author	rinkinky
Upvotes	2260
Comments	439
Date	September 12, 2021 6:54 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/pmyo7k/this_subreddit_is_heartbreaking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-subreddit-is-heartbreaking.1069060 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069060

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