Remember the ex you wanted to marry? Let’s all laugh together

QueenAlice3 · 2021-10-05T13:02:04+00:00

I mean I kind of want to play but also don’t…

Mine was my highschool bf I thought I’d always end up back with, and he knew it and used my romance brainwashed thinking to get sex and free therapy whenever it suited him.

-Cheapest man I ever met. Made six figures with no expenses but spent his life living squatter-style and eventually moved into a one room apartment which was literally one room. That’s it.

-No car but always quick to tell you where you could pick him up or drive him that day. Free of charge.

-Insisted if we hung out everything was 50/50 (which to him meant we alternated paying). But if he realized it was my turn to pay he would call the waiter back to order more food.

-Was upset his mom died of cancer after he put her on a ridiculous health regime following her diagnosis. He wasn’t upset because she died (his words) but because (and I’m quoting him here) he really wanted to prove to his dad he could save her because his dad didn’t believe his health strategies. Talk about making it all about yourself.

I could go on but the greatest gift I’ve ever given myself was removing him from my life so boi bye.

jingks_ · 2021-10-05T13:00:52+00:00

How to pick just one!

Let’s go with:

Guy I dated for 5.5 years
Flunked out of art school for plagiarism
Wealthy parents who gave him an allowance (at age 25!)
Smoked weed all day, constantly
Lied for several months about having a job and gaslit me when I caught on
Instead he played video games all day while I was working and going to school full-time
Didn’t know how to wash a dish or do laundry when I met him
Criticized me for not getting more exercise, not having more friends, not having more hobbies, etc. Meanwhile he had literally nothing going on in his life.
Whenever I brought up marriage he would tell me I needed to get my shit together first (because I struggled with depression), and in response I’d do more and more wifey shit 🤡

Finally graduated, looked around, and realized I was wasting my time and could do SO much better. When I said I wanted to break up, he responded “I’ll think about it”, and I said “No, I’ve made up my mind”. He was all surprised pikachu.

Oddly enough I stopped feeling depressed after we broke up, started working a job I loved, went on to get super involved in a hobby, made lots of friends, and got in the best shape of my life. He moved back in with his parents.

tldrjane · 2021-10-05T14:17:58+00:00

•Unemployed

•Cheater

•Mostly emotional abuse (physical a few times)

•Stole more $$$ when I let him borrow debit card and said, “It’s really OUR money since we are bf and gf”

•Had to wait around to hang out with him like a sad puppy.

•Oxy and Xanax addiction

•Wrecked my car driving to get him $$ for above in bad storm and when I was getting car towed his dad and him came to get me, he had his dad pay for the tow so I could give him the money still

•Mommy’s boy—one time when we were talking about the future she goes “What am I gonna do without you here?!” And we said she has a husband and she goes “That’s not the same”

•Musician (a “has been” from high school) who made me watch him play the same songs (drums and guitar) for years… it was annoying. And would get upset that I didn’t want to watch him play

I put up with this for 3 years in (18-21) and finally got a clue and left him. How did I ever put up with that? Disgusting

Really I know why. I had a traumatic childhood and it was my only “escape” blah blah blah. I just look back on that time and want to grab my younger self by the shoulders and shake some sense into her.

sculderandmullie · 2021-10-05T15:13:10+00:00

Oh how this brings back memories. Glad I can see everything clear now!

• 6 years older than me, I was 18 and he was 24 when we got together.

• he graduated from uni but was still in an ex-alumni frat squad where he would attend frat parties with people who where my age.

• he was living with 3 other guys from the same squad who where all pigs and never cleaned their kitchen mess (3 weeks old pudding on the countertop with mold on it)🤢

• He had a drinking problem that he blamed on the constant social drinking activities with his uni buddies.

• He was still hung on his ex who he cheated on. He even send her a gift during the beginning of our relationship.

• he would forget to get me presents for my birthday, so he would last minute scrabble ‘you can pick a city for a citytrip together’ on an ugly piece of carton.

• he texted A LOT of girls he vaguely knew, asking to hang or come to a party.

• he was spotted on Tinder by a friend of mine. We were together for 2 years at that point.

• he thought my friends who where my age were childish, even though he was living with 20-something manchilds and partying like a college student.

• He was really subtle in not giving me orgasms but still pretending to be generous and romantic in bed.

• he send me dick pics from work. I thought that was normal because he was my first boyfriend.

• the last thing that made me break up eventually; He was sexting another girl while being drunk. He was logged onto my phone with his fb-account so I could follow it live.

• after the breakup, I bumped into him at a bar. The next day, he texted me saying my makeup looked bad. 😂 Negging to the max!

He basically manipulated me throughout the entire relationship. I was young, he was my first real boyfriend. I lost my virginity to him. When he eventually asked me to move in with him in his new house, I declined. We broke up shortly after because i saw my worth. ✨

He now has a long term girlfriend who he has a child with. But he tried to get in touch and asked me to hang out (!) but I blocked him everywhere. He even made a fake insta but I found out it was him and confronted him. 😂 THEY NEVER CHANGE.

shockingupdate · 2021-10-05T15:24:53+00:00

LOL let’s do it:

dressed every single day like he was going camping
sulked and stonewalled at the drop of a hat, without ever explaining why
regularly tried to isolate me from my friends by “accidentally” planning vacations for us that just so happen to be a day or two before my friends’ trips
obsessed with his one hobby, aggressive about my participation in it with zero interest in any of mine
wore the same suit to six weddings over a year. i wore a different dress every time so the photos are hilarious to me
complete lack of ambition. wanted a dog, too lazy to train one. wanted to work in the outdoors, but too lazy to leave his low-effort tech gig
used his female friends for emotional support but talked shit behind their backs
threatened to break up every time i spent money on myself

sagisister · 2021-10-05T15:19:15+00:00

He was one of the laziest workers… at a chipotle. He was “five years sober” from heroin but AlCoHoL dOeSn’T cOuNt. Told me he wanted to marry me after we talked for two weeks… then when he went to propose to me, he pulled like three ring pops out of his pocket and said “I didn’t know what flavor you’d like” 🤦‍♀️

Frogspocket · 2021-10-05T16:16:49+00:00

Lol love this thread. Mine:

believed drinking a lot was a personality trait

Hygeine sucked. Sweat through his clothes daily, smelled bad. Could not shave properly and left patches. When I pointed any of this out he'd say I was "criticizing him".

Poked me with his dick as "foreplay". Sometimes pointed at his dick or gestured to it.

He'd act like a teenage boy and his voice got really high and whiney when we argued.

Was insecure about his height even though he was pretty tall, threw fits when I wore heels

My BMI was hovering around 19 and at one point I lost my period. I ended up being referred to a nutritionist who helped me gain weight. instead of supporting me, he got upset about it and insisted that (since google told him my BMI was healthy) that my doctors were wrong. said I was ruining my "perfect body" with weight training and eating more. Also tried to gaslight me into thinking doctors and professionals were just jealous and fat.

He was a song writer but not my style of music so it low key sucked having to listen to him. Also drove me insane that he had such an ego about it.

quasarbar · 2021-10-05T15:56:47+00:00

Did a few gigs here and there but didn't have a "real" job. I was willing to financially support his ass!
Lived with his parents in his late twenties. Wasn't interested in moving out.
Was completely obsessed with sex. Had a history of being aroused by animals.
Never gave me an orgasm. Never even tried. Never gave his exes orgasms, either.
Had me pay for everything, even after he said he would. Deliberately sought out more expensive food for me to buy for him.
Told absurd lies for no reason. When I didn't believe him, he'd say he was joking and he'd laugh, even though there was nothing funny about it at all.
Was overly critical and only had nice things to say when he was trying to manipulate (well, after the love-bombing phase was over, anyway).

I'm ashamed to have ever loved him or wanted to be with him.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2021-10-05T16:41:57+00:00

Let's just say that looks weren't his strong suit. I thought that if I gave my book smart/ socially awkward friend a chance, that I would be treated well. I was so, so wrong. He turned out to be the most selfish person that I have ever met. Dating me boosted his ego so much that after two years he decided he needed more experience and hooked up with my low self esteem pickme friend. NEVER DATE UGLY MEN. And that social awkwardness was actually him just being a selfish prick with next to no empathy.

ExistentialJelly · 2021-10-05T15:18:21+00:00

Me 18, him 23.

-the wanted me to buy him brand things to show my love. I was unemployed. -wanted me to visit him but wouldn't help with the costs to travel to him. - was diagnosed with depression after army injury. Never sought treatment. -lived with mom and dad forever. -would always message me between girlfriends ready to marry me (Young me over romantisized this as being meant to be together) - was not actually attractive... But dressed well and was confident.

Man, glad I didn't go through with that one.

SkiesEclipse · 2021-10-05T13:56:14+00:00

Truck driver, so low paying and never home
Video game addict
Frequently embarrassed me in social situations, and was uncouth
Porn sick, couldn’t get erection
Slept on a mattress on the floor
Hated leaving the house for dates
Never wanted to leave the country to travel, said it was a waste of money
Didn’t “believe” in holidays or birthdays, didn’t care or give gifts
Insisted on everything being 50/50
In to BDSM and tried convincing me of threesome
Year and a half in, admitted to frequently using prostitutes in the past (I still stayed 🤡)

He was my first boyfriend, and as I type this all out, it’s making me realize just how incredibly low value he was.

My dad openly hated him, my grandma said I shouldn’t marry a low paying truck driver, and my mom kept things closer to the vest, but would subtlety hint he wasn’t meeting my emotional needs.

I thought I was going to marry him, but even as a pickmeisha, the thought of marrying him didn’t excite me. I thought I could change him. Now I feel so grateful we didn’t stay together, and it feels like I dodged a bullet.

_Amarantos · 2021-10-05T16:32:11+00:00

As someone who is fresh off a breakup, this thread helps. Thanks ladies.

BrightIdeaGenerator · 2021-10-05T16:08:07+00:00

Lives with his mother in his 30s, despite making way more money than me

The mommy issues, shiiittt. Slept in her bed till he was 7 (Okay not his fault that's hers, but) and was afraid to move out because it would be "abandoning" her. She was, of course, not sick and it wasn't like he was taking care of her.

After 2 and a half years, he had a key to my house but I didn't have a key to his because his mommy wouldn't let him. I would have to wait outside like a dog if I got to the house before him, because she didn't like me and was "too shy" to talk to me and let me in.

Short. Which didn't bother me, except he WOULD NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. Every single time I gave gave him a compliment, he went "yeah, but I bet you wish I was taller." FFS Take the compliment!!

Told me my anxiety was too bad to work retail full time, let alone go into the medical feild, but he's only a high school graduate and not interested in college so...... 🙃 (fuck you, I work in dementia care and I'm back in school now! Looks like I can handle it just fine!)

Pressured me for threesomes, for months. Actually glad this happened because it was the final thing that convinced me to get out.

Oh, I forgot. Very insistent that we stay "friends" afterwards, and for a while we did text sometimes, but he would get mad if I posted something on my Facebook about boundaries, standards or healing from heartbreak. Texted me at work once "OH. You're done trying to fix broken men, huh?" And I said "welp you won't go to therapy to work out your issues like I do so don't get mad at me." And he checked out and didn't respond, was like "well you're working, good night." I was still babying his emotions months later, when he wasn't my boyfriend.

Wanted me to diagnose him as autistic (I am not a clinician, I just like to read psych stuff and I hope to become a nurse) so he would have a legit excuse to never move out of his mother's. I told him so. I told him if he really thinks he's autistic go to a doctor.

Eventually blocked him and told him I was done when he accused me of sleeping with a friend's husband TWO DAYS after she died, because I brought him and the kids food and was checking on them.

wondertarget · 2021-10-05T12:36:10+00:00

Mine:

Smoker, alcoholic, weed-dependent, dabbled in meth and cocaine
Verbally, emotionally, physically (once was enough; I left after that) abusive when things didn't go his way
Would cry about his mom that died 18 years ago and about how he missed her so much after said abuse occurred
Spent all his money on weed and video games, yet never had money to pay me gas for "our" car (I paid for it and the insurance)
Deadbeat dad to two daughters (I was 26 and he was 28)
Domestic violence charges filed from his ex. I found the paperwork shoved in a notebook while cleaning. The notebook also had recent diary entries about how he missed his ex and was working toward being a better man for her....dated six months prior...a whole ass year after we started dating again (we dated from 14-18). She had a restraining order against him too, something I ended up having to get eventually
Ate like shit. Never worked out. Didn't keep up with shaving or grooming himself. Skin was that of someone ten years older

The list goes on. I don't even want to re-live that. He contacted me on FB under a new name after I got engaged. Scrote had the audacity to sent me a shirtless photo of himself smiling.

To this day I get gaggy just thinking about him.

burritogirl101 · 2021-10-05T16:50:03+00:00

High school boyfriend and on and off over the years. This was over 15 years ago now.

He unofficially dropped out of school at around age 15 by just...not going to school. No idea why his parents didn't force him into going. But he pretty much never left the house after that.
He was a paranoid, irrational mess, almost to the point it was hilarious. Accused me of travelling to the States (I am not from the States) one summer to hook up with a guy I met on the internet. I was 15 years old and on a family holiday to Spain.
Addicted to porn at around age 13. We did not once have sex because he "didn't want me to be a whore".
Didn't wash.
Back in those days, we played a lot of online games and Neopets and all that stuff. He was extremely jealous because this took attention away from him, so he made me hand over my passwords and he promptly deleted all of my shit.
Would block me for days on end so I couldn't contact him (this was before social media, lol) and at that point he wasn't going to school, so I would worry myself sick with what happened.
It was ok for him to watch porn and compare me to other people (bear in mind I was a teenager), but if I ever had a crush on a celebrity, or he suspected that I did, I'd be screamed at for hours on end. I could never mention any bands/movies/TV shows I liked because I would be accused of having a crush on someone in the show or whatever, and that was apparently cheating on him.
I got my first job when I was 16 and my manager was a man in his 40s. I was not allowed to talk to him - which is obviously absurd and I was set up to fail. He would ask me if my manager spoke to me that day, to which I'd say well yeah, he asked me to do XYZ. Cue him screaming for hours.

No idea where this kid is now. I don't think he'll have changed one bit.

Conscious-Remote3840 · 2021-10-05T12:06:10+00:00

My ex, unfortunately I did marry him. Now my HINO.

Just scraped a 2:2 at University.
Blamed me for getting assaulted.
Things breaking wind is hilarious.
Can't use cutlery correctly.
Thinks nice wine is the most expensive garage pick.
Tried to get me to make porn with him.
Leaves crusty (yes, ejaculated into) socks for me to wash. 🤢

I would laugh, but I still have to deal with him. I'll be laughing in a few years though when the girls leave

katiekat0214 · 2021-10-05T14:40:51+00:00

First LVX:

- 10 years older than me

-- thought I could love away his abusive childhood

-- impenetrable shield, never opened up to anyone

-- part of macho cop culture

-- no overt domestic violence, but plenty of stonewalling, eye rolling, taking forever to answer innocuous questions

-- had to depend on him for a couple of years while I was a broke grad student, before I became a slightly less broke first-year teacher in Louisiana

-- sex 3 times in 3 years

-- did not know himself at all

-- was all "hail fellow well met" with buddies, treated me as someone he didn't trust or even much like

Divorced OF COURSE, remarried, very happy the second time around to HV, loving, doting second husband, 17 years. But, never again with an older man. No being a nurse or a purse. Many lessons learned.

OriginalCanCon · 2021-10-05T14:20:52+00:00

Dated for three years, dumped him eventually. He was very upset.

decided to pick up a smoking habit near the end of the relationship out of the blue AFTER my dad was diagnosed with (non smoking related) lung cancer and told me I was being controlling when I freaked out about it
I worked full time and did my third degree full time and did all the cooking and cleaning. He would get angry when I'd interrupt his gaming to tell him dinner was ready. Would also get huffy if I asked him to clean after the meal I just cooked. Would get huffy about anything that cut into his precious gaming time.
told me he required me to not bother him for an hour after work because I talked too much after a long day of work and it stressed him out and he needed quiet to unwind (yet loved going out to bars for hours after work with his buddies most days?)
terrible with money and borderline alcoholic (I tried to help him budget once and he flipped his shit when I budgeted for only a 12 pack of beer a week)
convinced me my anxiety was the problem in the relationship and that's why we were having issues. Went to two different counsellors. Both said I was a functioning human with no anxiety. He said he needed to go to an appointment to make sure i didn't manipulate counsellors into thinking I was the sane one because I was soooo manipulative and conniving.
was diagnosed with depression, however. Which cleared up miraculously a few months into dating my hvm current boyfriend? Fancy that. No longer need drugs to get through my day when I'm being treated well.

ironglaciers · 2021-10-05T16:15:50+00:00

I am proud to say not one man I've dated has ever had me wanting to marry him. Not one.

Sewud · 2021-10-05T19:29:03+00:00

1 inch shorter than me
Slower than me
Cried in my arms that his mom said I was too pretty/smart/rich/talented for him and that I would never stay with him - guilt tripping me into envisioning marrying him
Drunk-crashed multiple cars despite not having a car himself
Beta shy personality
Got fatter every month, while I kept exercising and remained the same size
Followed his friends like a sheep into the stupidest situations, including: drinking and dashing for hundreds of dollars, shitting in strangers' windshields as a "prank"
Out of nowhere cried in my arms that he was addicted to weed and smoked it every night and asked me to lie to his friends to make it seem like I forbade him to use weed because he wanted to stop but he was too chicken to tell his friends
Hung out at a strip club, not out of interest, but because HIS DAD TOOK HIM REGULARLY
His dad was a general piece of shit, just as short as him and drove without a license due to losing it to too many DIUs

I don't know, the list is long. I wish it was at least like in the movies where the bad boy loser is a hot guy. He was ugly, shy, submissive to every alpha male...

vagesta · 2021-10-05T21:40:57+00:00

This happened when I was a low self esteem pickme

Didn’t have a car during our whole relationship and I did all the driving
Porn sick and would attempt to try to pressure me into fulfilling his weird fetishes
Took my virginity by raping me when he got tired of waiting until I was ready
Cheated on me with multiple people behind my back
Skin condition with severe acne/scabs/sores/scars all over
Didn’t groom himself or dress nice
Was a compulsive liar and future faked me into staying. Told me he wanted to marry me and take care of me once he got his shit together.
Never gave me an orgasm but expected me to give him orgasms on a regular basis
Super cheap gold digger. The most he would spend on me is getting food from a drive thru. Expected me to loan him money when he claimed he was financially struggling. He made more money than me at his job but still had the audacity to gold dig.
Didn’t care about Valentine’s Day. All I wanted to do was see him and cuddle but he would always claim he was “too busy with work”
Sadist. Got turned on when I cried or when he hit me, spit on me or choked me.
Would gaslight me and normalize his behavior
Hated condoms and expected me to be on birth control instead
At one point told me if I ever got pregnant and tried to “baby trap” him he would leave.
Was also against abortion
Followed multiple Instagram models on social media
In his early 20’s and already starting to bald
lived with his parents
Gamer
Bad at texting
Disliked cats
Ended up leaving me for another pickme that was recently out of high school once he was able to fly her over to where he lived.
Once he secured his new pickme he ghosted me then later told me that he actually didn’t have feelings for me and that he was in love with her instead.
6 months go by after that and I see his OLD profile
Screenshot it and send it to manipulated pickme
He tells her I’m his “crazy ex” and that it was photoshop

pugaczalla · 2021-10-05T14:41:49+00:00

Ooooh this will be my emotional release post. My ex:

Was following pick up artist gurus and their books and forums and used manipulative psychological tricks to score a date with me. Claimed that he dropped all of this stuff because he wanted only me. Well, 4 years later he was still reading those books as it turned out.
Had secret social media accounts.
Didn’t clean at all. When I had gotten serious with him, me and my mum cleaned his entire place. I continued to be the maid in the relationship 🤡🤡🤡
Didn’t own a hoover.
Didn’t have a normal job, just tutoring on the side, and when he got a normal job with full-time contract, he dropped it after 3 weeks!!! Because his boss ‘demanded too much’ as he wanted reports on what was done. It was a tech job with great pay.
He had a very prestigious stem degree, but preferred to earn little money by teaching whenever he felt like.
He said that bringing me to orgasm is boring because it takes time. Didn’t try to pleasure me at all.
Had a raging porn-induced erectile dysfunction. Couldn’t get his dick up 99% of the time, but wanked to porn almost daily. When he managed to get his dick up, he wanted to shove it in asap regardless of whether I was wet and ready or not at all.
He was emotionally stunted. Typical high IQ, low EQ case. He wasn’t a covert or grandiose narcissist, but someone Dr Ramani calls a ‘neglectful narcissist’. Less abusive type, but also terrible to be in a relationship with.
Our arguments never had a resolution because he just kept doing the same thing as if I never got angry. Sometimes, he cried that I don’t love him anymore and that he feels like shit if I wanted him to correct his behaviour. Classic manipulative and emotionally immature LVM trick.

I actually got tired writing it lol so I’ll keep it at 10😂 I thought he was the most perfect partner I’ll ever get and cried for weeks after he broke up with me.

ENFP_Canadian · 2021-10-05T20:21:48+00:00

Oh God ok here we go:

Scrote 1: Covert narc. I was 20 and didn't know what a narc was. Mommas boy. Went away for a field trip in college and invited a girl into his tent, then ignored me for 3 weeks after the trip. Then he left his journal open when o drove 3 hours to visit him and found it full of info about his infidelity. Made me out to be crazy after I decided to dump him that weekend and said I made him ride his bike back to his house dangerously because I was justifiably upset and called.him to tell him it was over. 5 years no ring.

Scrote 2: Just wanted a baby making machine. Short. Overweight. Awful dick. Horrible sex. Shamed me for loving solo travel. 5 years no ring.

Scrote 3: Also shamed me for solo travel. Grandiose narc. Cheated multiple times. Weed, porn and video game addicted. Awful with money-he was 32 and 30000$in debt making 1.5 times my salary. Said he wanted to get married to me then let me know he was in debt and needed to pay it off first. Then he spent 30000 on music equipment. Promptly dumped his cheating narcissistic lying ass.

Scrote 4: Non existent because I found FDS and fell in love with myself and my life.

anarchy-only · 2021-10-05T12:34:08+00:00

Oh gosh. He was balding at the age of 25. He wasn’t good at his job and went out smoking at bars everyday. He cheated on me by soliciting nudes from girls. He was just so nasty….I met his dad and his dad showed me his tinder and bumble the entire time.

Best part is five years later this stupid scrote has liked me on bumble AND hinge and texted me because he wants to date again. No thanks…

randomgirl34861 · 2021-10-05T21:32:09+00:00

• Was chubby when we met (approx 220 pounds) and became obese (over 315 pounds) over the course of the relationship 🍩🍔🍭

• Wouldn’t stop smoking blunts, despite having asthma. Laughed at me when I only smoked from my bubbler and laughed at me when I did lung exercise to keep my lungs healthy (I occasionally smoke recreationally and just want to be careful) Went on to develop a chronic lung condition after being told by his doctor multiple times he was at risk for this condition 💨🫁

• Knew I dreamed of having a cat since I was a little girl. Always talked about how they were pointless pets. This should have shown me he doesn’t respect anyone who doesn’t do what he wants. Got a dog after we broke up and loves it… not because it’s sweet or funny… because it’s obedient, scary and acts like he’s a God 🐈🐕

•Stole my prescription ADHD medication and sold it to a friend who had an exam. I couldn’t pick up more because it’s a controlled substance and they’re strict on it. I couldn’t focus on the road and I crashed my car 💊📚🚗

•Used my bodybuilding food scale to weigh drugs I didn’t know he was using. I thought I was dying because my mouth went numb after eating strawberries 🍓😵‍💫

• Was too stupid to notice I moved ALL MY CLOTHES AND THINGS OUT when I decided I didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore. (I wanted to never speak again after ending things. I did not want to have to go back for my things. I wanted to ghost entirely after the break up). Was so focused on Overwatch he thought I was spring cleaning as I stuffed all my things in suitcases. 👚🧳

Constant-Wanderer · 2021-10-05T22:55:19+00:00

Lawd

He love-bombed me and completely overwhelmed my just-separated and thoroughly substance-abusive self. I tried so hard to resist him, but he was determined to prove to me that he wasn’t going to let me down like my ex had.

Promised to build me a house with his own hands. Have a baby, take care of me, make my life dreamy. I was vulnerable.

He was also…the kind of good looking that was almost universally attractive. 6’3”, green eyes, stunning good looks. Had been both a model and a hockey player, a carpenter, an all-around capable man who could build you a table, make you dinner on it, then fuck you across it.

So good in bed. 🙄

I was vulnerable.

My ex was childish, a gamer, unemployed, mama’s boy, never cleaned, NEVER cooked, couldn’t hang a shelf if his life depended on it. And had also started letting himself go, looking tubby and greasy, not to mention how fucking unattractive he’d become just being a loser in general for about two years.

The contrast was too much, the pressure, the new guy won out over my much-deteriorated better judgment.

He was a womanizing, drug-using cheater, with the brain cell activity lower than a used 9v battery. Not NOTHING, but not enough to power a good tool.

When I finally committed to a relationship with him, after months of him pressuring me, he cheated on me with his ex wife. I forgave him because “love is complicated”

Especially when the “dick is good.”

Sigh.

He’s the one whose name makes me turn my head and spit when mentioned today. Piece of shit duplicitous trash bag of a man. He went back to his ex wife, who as predicted by me, got pregnant IMMEDIATELY, prompting me to go no contact and we never spoke again.

Because as low as I’d sunk with him, self-loathing, drug use, alcoholism, and general sociopathy, I knew that I would never want him back after falling for her dumb ass twice.

Idiot.

I hope it goes without saying that they didn’t stay together either.

taschana · 2021-10-05T14:54:35+00:00

Oh, are we talking about the lowest of points of our relationships?

Well, little, silly me actually wanted to get married around age 18, because I so desperately wanted to feel loved and "have a family that loves me", even if it meant building my own nuclear family. He was actually just around for my fantasy to play out, I think I've one day even proposed to myself. I think it doesn't get more desperate than that, does it?

I'm not even gonna start talking about him, because honestly, he really didn't have anything to do with my fantasy at that moment -- but if he had been into the idea, I'd have been fucked.

Luckily I got my head out of my a*se soon after, got my shit together and decided that me loving myself is all the nuclear family I need.

Fun_Sherbet · 2021-10-06T02:47:20+00:00

This is a great exercise cuz i'm too embarrassed to type it all out.

broke all the time yet managed to smoke blunts all day
jordan peterson/joe rogan disciple
did not have the ability to listen to me, and even admitted out loud that he straight up didn't know how to do that
porn addict, which the following points all support
he asked to go raw, i asked him about std testing and he whined "cuz it hurts and all his past partners were clean" (🤡which i accepted without question)
didn't understand foreplay after 1.5 years of explaining it to him
literally even kiss or make out (which as i type this i am finally connecting to the porn addiction)
could only finish by jackhammering
had an articulated wish for me to hold him like a baby 🤢

and the worst part is, ladies..

he was a flat earther

THIS WAS A RELATIONSHIP I WAS TERRIFIED OF LOSING

I WANTED TO MAKE A LIFE WITH THIS PERSON BY MY SIDE

reddishfish13 · 2021-10-05T12:30:58+00:00

Mine looked good on paper which was hard, but I started reading in between the lines in the relationship post mortem and realized that:

he kept getting passed over for management rolls at work
his ideas related to his job were consistently terrible, and wouldn't get implemented
he was infantile when it came to communication and couldn't deal with people disagreeing with him
he cared more about other men's opinion of him than he did about himself
the girl he started dating after me (actually he cheated on me with her right before our relationship ended - that's why it ended) was into him for the money, and could offer less status than I could

For someone who cared so much about appearances, at the end of the day he was a narcissistic man-baby who couldn't face the reality of not being the greatest living human being ever. More especially, he couldn't face the fact that I was smarter than he was, more ambitious, and was on track for a more promising career, all because I'm convinced he didn't see (and still doesn't, bullet dodged) women as humans capable of being of equal or greater value than him.

This sub opened my eyes to a lot that I didn't see before and I'm so grateful!

AceTabby00 · 2021-10-05T14:26:02+00:00

Oh, boy. Where do I even start?

Pornsick, into weird shit, would pressure me to try things I didn't want to try, fetishized various races of women
Alcoholic
Only ate junk food, hated my healthy cooking
Video game addict: he would SCREAM at his games and sit there like a zombie for hours
Expected everything to be 50/50 even though he made over double what I made at the time, but all of the housework was my job of course
Extremely unsupportive: he would pretend I didn't exist if I was upset over anything & of course claim I was overly sensitive
Would give me the silent treatment at the drop of a hat
He would never go with me to anything (holidays, casual get togethers, weddings, funerals, on and on)
Flirted with other women while denying and saying they were just friends (he was in one of these "friend's" bed the day we parted ways)
Not telling people he had a girlfriend
Would shoot snot rockets everywhere

sunset_sunshine30 · 2021-10-05T15:31:21+00:00

I pick the sociopathic who emotionally abused me from 19-25.

Took drugs a lot and I had 0 idea.
Cheated on me repeatedly
Used me for sex
Had overgrown toddlers as best friends
Had no education
A severe mental health problem which he sought no help for
Physically pushed me around on the odd occasion.

Thank fuck I didn't marry/have children with him and came away from it with a Masters degree.

Why the fuck I wanted to marry him, I will never understand to this day.

fierce_and_mighty · 2021-10-05T22:13:25+00:00

LVX lovebombed me like a tsunami and the fool that I was believed it. He, a literal 20 year old in debt, said for me to pick a fucking CASTLE in my home country and he’d put it on his list of goals so one day he could buy me it 💀🏰 fucking hilarious.

When I tried to tell him about my mental health problems in my past just so he had a full picture of what led up to that point, he kept sighing and eventually said “there are a 1000 things I could say but you don’t want to hear any of it” (because he recycled lines from his mentorship that lacked ANY empathy or understanding), sighed and didn’t say anything else.

Idolised his mentors like literal Gods until he realised they weren’t and fell apart.

Got into a fight one night where he unintentionally hurt me sexually. I told him what happened and was asking why he just wanted to go to sleep and not comfort me AS I WAS CRYING and his response was to get out of bed, stand over me with fists clenched and yell at me saying “I can never do the right thing can I” LMAO 😷 Never apologised to my younger sister, or me really for that matter, who he traumatised that night yelling at me.

Had no job, was in debt.

Smoked behind my back, probably did hard drugs too when he knew I was against it.

Would get pissy like a little baby when I said no to sexual intimacy and so I more than a few times, did it so he would be happy with me 💀💀💀

freshpicked12 · 2021-10-06T02:02:19+00:00

Oooh, mine was a certified Jesus freak. Dated on and off for 3 years, I don’t know how I didn’t see the red flags sooner. 🚩

attended Liberty University
told me he would only propose if I gave up my “godless” life
claimed to be a virgin but would do absolutely anything in bed except P-in-V
cheated on me with at least 3 women (that I know of)
told me that I was disgusting because I didn’t cover my mouth with my hand when I chewed my food
committed car insurance fraud by faking an accident (such a godly thing to do 🙄)

originallykoko · 2021-10-05T13:36:27+00:00

Mine:

-same age as me -made half the money I make -balding -tried to control me in every which way (i.e. trying to make me dress more "modestly," changing my work schedule) -wanted me to move in with his parents after marriage -only earned a bachelor's degree in the amount of time it took me to earn a doctorate and complete post doctoral training

Where he is now: married to a woman who looks just like me lol the irony. Hairline receded even more. Still trying to ruin any relationships I get into (he told my ex he was forced to marry me)

efemel115 · 2021-10-05T21:03:50+00:00

Never wanted to marry him, he wanted to marry me.

- Lied about having a degree

- High school drop out

- Lived in his sisters house

- Drove one of his brother in laws cars

- Had a not so well paying job (got this through his brother in law)

- Bad hygiene

- Bad hair

- Sounded illiterate when talking

- Childish behaviour

- Fuckboy

- Gaslighter

thanarealnobody · 2021-10-05T21:04:35+00:00

Legit believed that this was the best man I had ever met and was willing to do anything for him:

alcoholic/addict/criminal history (the only reason he wasn’t in jail or homeless was because his family came from wealth
referred to beautiful women as vain or stupid in order to feel better about the fact that he was balding at 23 with a beer gut on the way
cheated, and had cheated with other girls
constantly eroded my self esteem by gaslighting me and hitting me with small insults at random
lied about stuff to impress me
never made me orgasm at any point, not even close.

Alkhemia · 2021-10-05T17:44:19+00:00

This is a trip down memory lane...

My first real boyfriend:

He was 23 and I was 16
He did not have a driver's license because it had been suspended for a DUI.
I drove him to and from work every day.
He had all kinds of rules around sex - he was my first and I didn't know any better. For instance, I wasn't allowed to touch his back during sex. We went into an adult store and I wasn't allowed to purchase a vibrator that competed with his "package."
Being 16, my life experience was somewhat limited, but I had been a national champion in a HS sport. I was not allowed to talk about that at all because it made him "feel inferior."

I wish that I could say that I learned my lesson entertaining LVM, but I sadly did not.

Creature__Teacher · 2021-10-05T16:13:59+00:00

Aahh my last ex. My college boyfriend, I definitely did have fun with him at the time, but we dated almost 3 years and he never wanted to move out of his parent's place. Literally a basement dweller. Started a bunch of hobbies (learning to play piano, drums, coding, etc) that always died out within days or weeks. Despite having a decent job, preferred not to move away from mummy dearest who would cook and clean for him--used the excuse that he's "saving up" (no he wasn't). Had friends that were basement dwellers just like him.

We've broken up ~3 years ago because he accused me of cheating on him with a good female friend of mine when I stayed overnight at her place.... because she and I are both bisexual so clearly we fucked. For a few days I was like "Noooo I love you of course I wouldn't cheat on you :(((" but then I came to my senses and decided, oh, you want to break up with me over this? Cool, fine, godspeed. Left his butt behind. He still lives at home 🙄

spinsterchachkies · 2021-10-05T15:23:50+00:00

I was 20 he was 24
Prior marine with a serious head injury, metal plate in his head
Would forget what he was talking about mid sentence sometimes because of brain damage
Personality would switch dramatically
Fly off the handle and go into a rage
Massive debt and bad credit
Couldn’t stick to anything, like education, very flaky
Would insult me whenever he felt insecure about himself, projected a lot
Said my legs looked like sausages when I wore leggings :(

I learned a lot of lessons there

basuragoddess · 2021-10-06T06:15:37+00:00

I decided to come back and comment because this guy from two years ago popped into my mind on my way home from work, and I got so angry and sad all over again. Just need to let it out right now.

I was 24, he was 39.
He frequented strip clubs before he met me.
I was moving across the country for school but had fallen hard so we dated for three months and when it came time he decided to move with me, helping drive me out and then coming himself a month later.
He was undocumented so many aspects of a future with him were terrifying because I cared for him so much, but I loved him so I would have moved heaven and earth (even had made an entire plan to get a business going so he could make income with his ITIN). I stayed up all night when he drove out because I was so worried he might get pulled over.
He was perfect, loving, said he had me and was not missing anything from strip clubs or porn. Said he had stopped completely and I told him of trust issues bc of past relationships and he seemed very understanding.
He moved across the country for me, there’s no way he would be lying about who he was in our relationship, right?
Wrong. A month in I’m putting away his laundry while he’s at work and find his old phone in the drawer. Obviously I charge it and discover texts with other women, frequent visits to porn/backpages/adult friend sites (up to and including the day he drove out), texts with a friend he frequented strip clubs with. Found proof of him having gone on several occasions before and during the month we were separated.
One of the worst parts that remains in my mind today is his friend jokingly telling him to ask my permission to go to the club. His response? (translated) “The one that rules is me.”
When confronted he lied four times before admitting and minimizing.
We lived together for another month while I figured out what the fuck to do. I remember asking my best friend if she thought there was any way, ANY WAY we could rebuild trust. That poor woman told me gently that she really didn’t think so. I loved him so much and wanted it to work so bad. He had been the perfect partner and now I knew it was all a lie. He said he had planned to continue his lifestyle but stop after he moved in with me, because I would never find out.
Lesson was learned after much devastation that men can and will lie no matter what the circumstances.

I really hope one day the memory will pop into my head and I won’t want to shoot him for what he put me through.

AmeliaEmiliaEmma · 2021-10-05T17:44:37+00:00

I will pick just one! His mom didn’t like me, so he let her insult me in front of him saying how he was handsome, smart, so much better than me, and I was a dumb whore and “ HE HAS MUCH BETTER FITURE WITHOUT ME”. 9 years after the breakup and no contact, I got to test his emergency biopsy- aggressive cancer. He died just 2 months after that at age 36. Never married though, I don’t even think he had a girlfriend after me.

sassenachpants · 2021-10-06T15:16:57+00:00

I’m loving these!

• His highest aspiration in life was to be community dick, and he guilt tripped me whenever I pushed back on being poly.

• Had the most disgusting house I have ever seen. Let his teenage children do all the cleaning and blamed them for the mess.

• Hung up on exes that refused to talk to him but didn’t understand why (I’m an ex that blocked and deleted him, I totally get why).

• Had tons of money- did all his shopping at grocery liquidation places.

• proposed to me with no ring so we could do ring shopping “together” and then sent me a Craigslist ad for a $20 ring.

• ruined every holiday, anniversary, vacation, or special occasion by starting a fight.

iloveyoubabi · 2021-10-06T15:25:52+00:00

Alright here's me:

- High school sweetheart bf from age 16-26. We were the same age. We were together TEN YEARS. He never proposed because he had a "checklist" that I had to complete before I would be "worthy". 🤡

- Checklist was: I had to be debt-free (I had almost 40K in student loans and 15K on my car, plus some credit cards), had to lose 60 lbs and be fit (lift heavier weight than him), but most of all, I had to accept his raging porn addiction. 🤡

- Everything was always 50/50, even though he was making six figures and I was making $17/hr at the time. But he still expected me to save any extra income I had and yelled at me when I didn't. 🤡

- Never took me out on dates, got me nice gifts, or cared about pleasuring me sexually at all. But every time he paid for groceries or even slightly more in rent, I had to "be grateful". 🤡

- Actively tried to cheat on me when he was in college (got rejected), and only asked me out in high school because the girl he actually liked rejected him. 🤡

- Could only get hard to extreme femdom and other related dirty talk. Romantic sex was out of the question and boring. I came maybe 3 times total in the 10 years. 🤡

- Hardly ever shaved and never put on deodorant, but would expect me to always be smooth with hair, nails, and makeup done. 🤡

This list goes on but it makes me sad to think about. Can't believe I ever believed I was "lucky" to be with someone "as accomplished" as him. JFC. Thank you FDS for helping me see the light.

lskfjd743 · 2021-10-05T17:38:07+00:00

First serious boyfriend (ie I slept with him) from late 90s. A month after I slept with him he broke up me me because he was not ready for a serious relationship.

An engineer who was, and still is into Ayn Rand, the 2nd Amendment, and is now probably an ardent Trump supporter! Small town, red-state world view that did not expand even one centimeter with getting a Masters degree. He's now in the middle of divorcing his high school educated wife of two decades with whom he has 3 kids (the youngest is 8). Ex never went to college, so he will be paying her perpetual alimony.

Despite (or probably because of) the complete social/financial shit show his life has turned into, he is now trying desperately to re-establish contact with me to rope me into being as additional source of household income and NannyBangMaid! Like I would ever deign to move to the armpit of red state america he lives in!

mothertuna · 2021-10-05T17:45:35+00:00

He withheld things about his sexuality. He admitted to occasional cocaine use (a hard stop for me is drugs). He got fired from a job for overreacting to a situation. He showed himself to be duplicitous and untrustworthy. But you couldn’t tell me we weren’t going to have our happy ending lmao.

The one before that was a high school boyfriend. Serial cheater who I wasn’t even his type honestly. He married the last girl he cheated on me with, cheated while he was married, tried to screw my friend and tried to be my “friend”. Possibly the most toxic user I have ever met.

preppykat3 · 2021-10-05T18:36:07+00:00

A long distance one which makes it even worse lolol

He looked slightly below average, but thought he made up for it with his personality which was pretty shitty too!
Loved to psycho analyze it makes him feel superior
Stubbornly argumentative
Expected me to visit him to his state
Did not want to move for me
SUPER cheap. Cheapest man I’ve ever met
Likes overly thin girls. I got extremely insecure when I gained a little bit of weight (it wasn’t even that much!)
Years of knowing him and he told me he doesn’t love but that he “likes me” which sometimes he said he doesn’t
Manipulative
Incapable of even the healthiest amount of attachment
Talking to him over the phone was a major turn off. He doesn’t seem like he cares when you talk and only wants to talk about his interests
I think he has high functioning autism but this isn’t a bad thing. It’s just the way his personality clashed with whatever issues he has
Overly protective of his free time

Antique_Fortune6974 · 2021-10-05T19:23:41+00:00

Jokes on you,I've never been in a relationship.

deadinsidelol69 · 2021-10-06T12:46:17+00:00

-Lived with his parents at 24 -worked a dead end job -would waste his entire paycheck on magic the gathering cards, literally 200 dollars a week -alcoholic -smoked -never lifted a finger to do chores -emotionally abusive - only worked part time while I worked full time, expected me to do all the shopping, cleaning, and laundry for him -cheated on me with 2 different women

I once got into a car accident on my way to work one morning, my truck was being towed so I called him on his DAY OFF to come get me, he said he was too tired and went back to sleep while I had to get a ride from the cop to get home.

LallieDoo · 2021-10-05T14:41:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2021-10-05T15:16:34+00:00

Ok here's mine * We dated a little over 5 years * he was unemployed for about 3 years while we dated * Dresses like a 16 year old (he's 27) * obsessed with drugs, especially cigarettes, alcohol, and weed. * Didn't even have the desire to move out of his family's home (back when i was very pickmiesha and I wanted he & I to move in together) * Always hiding behind me like a little child when we were out in public. * Had to ban him from ever driving my poor beat-up car ever again because he started recklessly driving while my brother was in the backseat. * he kept cussing around my very conservative family * tried to borrow money from me even knowing how broke I actually am * used to say it was "financially smarter" to not spend money to take me out on nice dates but would then proceed to drop thousands of dollars buying nice clothes for his brothers and infant nephew.

There are more but I better not go into too much detail. I'm still working on fully moving on from that breakup but I am SO glad that we did!

2021-10-05T15:19:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Bitemebitch00 · 2021-10-06T23:22:57+00:00

Hahahahahahahahahhaha

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-07T05:30:21+00:00

My ex lvm that i think we’ll had a family in these days😵😂 girl no

no social skills so whatever

-Mommy boy

-Don’t know how to study even if his life depends on it, likely to be a forever student of his career

-50/50 guy and still complains about doing the bare minimum

-narcissist

-love bombed me since day one

-don’t know how to stay alone

-Talk bad about their exs

-Bad personality

-anger episodes

-Always talking about his stuff

-Pathetic at having empathy, don’t stand up for himself or others

-videogame addict

-Bad eating habits. (He was already chubby but in quarentine he gained so much weight when in the other hand i was slimmer than ever)

And the list goes on but i don’t remember much anymore, thanks god he’s gone

asocialsocialite · 2021-10-07T08:09:45+00:00

I have one!

Was stingy about his money when I needed help, but would lavish me with stupid shit like a Trek road bike when I already HAD a bike and lived in an apartment.
Had a kid. Used his kid as a wingman.
Had an Asian fetish. I'm black.
Was an asshole to everyone. He didn't talk to people because he was a raging prick.
Attempted to triangulate me, his current woman and his ex wife. Well, at least ex-wife and I are good friends!
Took care of his kid only when it made him look good or when he could make his ex wife look worse.
Claimed that I drove his SUV when he was gone on a cycling trip. Got into a HUGE fight with me over it. He wanted to fuck when my former pick-me ass begged him to get back together.
Got with me because I have a coke-bottle figure...but then gave me shit when I gained weight on my thighs and arms.
His mother knew that he was trash...he acted just like his father...who was also a cheater.
Lied to me about why he was breaking up with me. He cheated with the "friend" (who knew that he was with me) and left me for her. He then proposed to her THREE MONTHS after breaking up with me. She now will not sign the marriage license, and he's doing everything to make her not leave him... even though she's hella jealous of me and his ex-wife and is about to clean his ass out because his ex-wife is making him pay alimony and child support.
Cheated on me with the same woman that he destroyed his family for with his ex-wife. At least his family adores me and will do anything for me.

Title	Remember the ex you wanted to marry? Let’s all laugh together
Author	LallieDoo
Upvotes	1364
Comments	100
Date	October 5, 2021 11:59 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q1uvi8/remember_the_ex_you_wanted_to_marry_lets_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/remember-the-ex-you-wanted-to-marry-lets-all-laugh.1077270 https://theredarchive.com/post/1077270

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