The double standard: man has alot of sexual partners = good. Woman has alot of sexual partners = bad. Is misunderstood.

Bassist57 · 2023-11-20T23:42:24+00:00

You are also forgetting the double standard that a female virgin is sought after, prized, and praised. A male virgin is seen as a loser and that there must be something wrong with him.

Ockwords · 2023-11-21T00:57:39+00:00

Being a slut is cool until another slut is hitting on your boyfriend. Women dont have a problem with being sluts but they have a problem with other women being sluts.

LMAO what? I'm pretty sure women/men would have a problem if a virgin was hitting on their partner too. It has nothing to do with them being a slut.

KayRay1994 · 2023-11-20T23:19:32+00:00

Sure - a woman fucking lots of guys isn’t impressive, and yes, men do have to do a lot more work to get the same kind of attention - but women generally aren’t asking for you to be impressed by the number of partners they’ve had, they’re asking you to not shame them over it. You can both be not impressed by something and not shame it.

And yes, wanting a woman with a low body count is fine… if its ideologically consistent with the way you treat yourself (ie. you’re religious or you view sex as something personal and intimate), but if your whole pov is driven by what is/isn’t impressive, this already tells me that your position isn’t from a principled place

fucksiclepizza · 2023-11-21T01:07:12+00:00

A dude that fucks a lot of women isn't impressive either, and anyone that is impressed by that is a moron.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-11-21T00:56:57+00:00

The real issue is that something being “hard” doesn’t make it objectively praiseworthy and something being “easy” doesn’t make it objectively immoral. Really, men and women being promiscuous mean the same thing - maybe they aren’t suited to a monogamous relationship. Not moral or immoral assuming everything is consensual, just something most people will consider when choosing a long-term partner.

Something else I don’t see discussed much is that a lot of male promiscuity can be attributed to low standards. Not all guys hooking up a lot are chads, some men simply will fuck anything that moves and have no standards and little self-control, perhaps substance abuse issues. Things that don’t normally elicit admiration. The idea that “oh he hooks up a lot he must be hot and desirable” is very iffy.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-11-21T03:48:50+00:00

This is true to an extent. There is a natural asymmetry between how male and female promiscuity are viewed, for the reason listed and others. However, these instincts in men are not THAT strong IMO, and are being weaponized by some males in a misguided attempt to try to balance out what they feel are inordinate female advantages in the current SMP.

But the bottom line is that this asymmetry in natural inclination can only be accommodated in the right kind of social environment, usually one that constrains and condemns promiscuity in both genders, and limits the sexualization of society and the public square.

If you have a hypersexualized society that titillates both genders non-stop, and that glorifies novel eroticism and youthful beauty, then women are rightly going to complain that not letting them play is totally unfair and even cruel. You can't be telling everyone how amazing sex is, how awesome it is to maximize sexual pleasure (which involves novelty for both genders), and then having tempted both genders constantly, condemn only one for giving in. That is basically cruel, and unfair, and untenable. In such a sexually tempting environment neither gender would have the inclination or even ability to resist, but then you are just punishing one side for common behavior.

SwishWolf18 · 2023-11-21T00:26:32+00:00

A lot of sexual partners for anyone is bad.

sublimemongrel · 2023-11-20T23:15:15+00:00

Literally your whole argument and logic is repeated ad naseum every time this issue is raised ie it’s “impressive” for men because it’s “hard” and worthy of shame for women because it’s “easy”. The double standard isn’t misunderstood people just disagree with it.

A caveat that isn’t repeated as naseum that you’ve made is that it’s just about having the ABILITY to sleep around as a man rather than actually doing it. But men DO praise other men’s high numbers and admire it, they aren’t praising men for some assumed ability to get high numbers yet remaining monogamous to one woman.

child0light · 2023-11-21T01:05:18+00:00

I'm just here to 1up "team freedom". Sex is such a laughable, shallow thing to judge other people about. It's alllllllllll ego.

ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-11-21T00:05:13+00:00

Its not about actually FUCKING a lot of women, its about having a lot of women that WANT to fuck you.

This is not impressive when you are born into a body of Jeremy Meeks.

Even when we start picking this apart we nosedive into logical walls. Every high school had a guy who won a jackpot in genetic lottery and just wrecked coot because he was tall, good-looking and played a sport. You can't argue that a seventeen year old had been doing something for a long time - how much effort has he really been putting into building himself into "a man that he is".

And on the other hand If a guy sees a woman that had a lot of sexual partners hes less likely to commit to her.

I'm denying this - this is just noise online. Everybody and their mama says that, and then in the next breath be like "well women dismiss 80% of guys as unattractive, it's slim pickings for the average guy"... Then, who the fuck are men discriminating against?

SnooMarzipans6929 · 2023-11-21T06:00:14+00:00

Honestly I don't believe this. If you sleep around regardless of if you're a man or woman that's gross. I'm not saying you need to be a pure virgin either. I'm just saying. Balance is key. Extremes are gross and I don't know why women are the only one who get this. A man sticking is dick in every hole is equally as disgusting to me.

ArmariumEspada · 2023-11-20T23:21:03+00:00

This opinion is posted here at LEAST once a day. It’s tiring. No, women do not “control” the sexual market, so long as we are talking about consensual sex. And if good looking men have an easy time getting laid, shouldn’t such men be criticized if they sleep around a lot, according to your own logic?

The one thing I will agree with you on is that for men, sex isn’t as much about actually having physical sex, it’s much more to do with feeling sexually desirable to women. That’s an extremely overlooked fact.

Agent__Zigzag · 2023-11-21T12:44:18+00:00

Interesting, well written, detailed hypothesis. Thanks for posting something worth thinking about.

Logical-Confection-7 · 2023-11-21T17:00:35+00:00

I don’t understand how this post addressed the double standard. The post make it seem as both, a man that fucks a lot and a woman that fucks a lot, both are gross. But that is not the case. We understand how a man that is attractive to various women is more impressive than a woman that is attractive to various men, but how come is cool for men if they act on those options but not for women? This is not explain anywhere in this post.

OmoshiroiKudamono · 2023-11-20T23:42:56+00:00

Men and women are NOT "equal." Equal as in BIOLOGICALLY the same. I am NOT advocating legal discrimination.

Therefore, we canNOT use the same criteria to judge.

NOT to be confused with discrimination. If a woman is more qualified in X job, then she should get X job.

Obj3ctivePerspective · 2023-11-21T01:15:33+00:00

It's not misunderstood, women just don't want to concede to the truth because it makes them look bad. You hear the rhetoric all the time about how men are dogs and fuck boys, it's just to always avert blame from themselves. Women will in one breath say a man will fuck anything to disparage men and in the same breath want to not be judged for letting a bunch of dudes that'll fuck anything fuck them. Fuck boys are fuck boys because they are fucking. Which means women are into fuck boys. Women don't like to admit they are intooxic traits so they throw the blame. Just is what it is.

MrBrittle · 2023-11-21T01:42:13+00:00

The double standard: woman has none sexual partners = good. man has none sexual partners = bad. Is misunderstood.

And what you said is not a double standard, but rather another demonstration of how women are terrible at choosing partners, men are right to reject promiscuous women, women should simply do the same with promiscuous men, instead of seeking be another one on their list, then your "double standard" would be resolved.

h1shman · 2023-11-20T23:22:04+00:00

I don’t date women who sleep around because I’ve slept around and interacted with women all across the spectrum and found that girls who are promiscuous are the worst kind of women to exclusively date.

Perhaps the same is true for men who sleep around but I don’t fuck dudes and don’t have experience 🤷‍♂️

The hard for men easy for women reasoning just seems stupid.

More-Tax-62 · 2023-11-21T01:31:29+00:00

All conjecture on my part

Culture follows biology, not the other way around. Which is why you never seen a culture with the reverse standard. This double standard is ativistic component of human nature that no amount of social engineering will change, maybe reduce.

1: Males don't generally want to raise kids they didn't create, unknowingly. And for over 99% of human history, there was almost no way to find out if the kid was yours or not.

2: I mean no offense when I say this, but historically females have been easier to control socially and physically. So placing the imposition on them made more sense to the rule makers back then. As we've all seen, men can often spaz out for a spec of pussy. Kill, backstab, grovel, spend all their money just to be in its vacinity. All sensibilities gone out the window. Women don't have this issue to anywhere near this degree. OFs prosperity is one proof. The thirstiness of horniest males knows no bounds

Female competition - women uphold this double standard just as much as men do.
Male jealousy with regards to size. Hence the hotdogs through a hallway jokes, calculations of how miles of peen she's taken. "If a chick has fucked 100 guys, there were probably a couple Mandingos in there. How do I compare with my baby carrot?"

Evolution was not nice to the avg male. 😂

bruhminer · 2023-11-21T10:56:20+00:00

It's not that "man has alot of sexual partners = good" as much as it is "man has no sexual partners = bad". If you cannot get women as a man that means you are a sexual failure.

Thats why guys go to the gym to get fit and take selfies only to realize women dont care about that. Women are more attracted to a guy that posts pictures with his dog and his girlfriend on a nice vacation than a single, super muscular guy taking gym selfies.

You are wrong about this, if the guy that is fit doesn't get attention it's because he is unattractive physically in other ways, i.e too short or too ugly. Women don't give a shit that you have a picture with a dog.

karmakiller3004 · 2023-11-21T12:13:14+00:00

You were on the right track and you veered off exposing your age and/or actual (quality) hands on experience on the topic. "Observation Only" experience doesn't work with this topic because you lack a few linchpins when making your arguments.

Also this just negates your entire premise:

"men dont praise other men who fuck alot of women"

They absolutely do. Men who can't get laid are seen as incels remember? lol A man with multiple sexual partners (of HIGH QUALITY. Not just frumpy single moms and CC's who'd bang your dad's older friends) is the top of the food chain. It means he's ALREADY successful in all the areas that matter starting with but not limited to LOOKS or CHARISMA. If I meet a guy who can pull high quality women, I'm immediately envious and will toss him a nod of admiration. He deserves praise.

That said, if a guy is rich and only pulling sugar babies or gold diggers, (see Dan Blizerian) because of his wealth, not because of any other innate high quality value marker, it's not that impressive and won't get praise because any clown with money can pay for "companionship" whether direct or indirect. See Jeff Bezos (richest man in the world and Lauren Sanchez is the best he can do? lmao)

If a man can't get laid, he's a loser (not just in that obnoxious high school insult kinda way but the biological evolutionary survival way)

Here you are on point:

" On the other end of that double standard. A woman who fucks a lot of dudes isn’t impressive. No one cares. She could even charge money for it. But if she can get a rich, high status man, (that alot of other women want) to commit to her and have an exclusive relationship with her, that’s impressive. Thats the equivalent of a man becoming high status and having women want him. She gets his high status, security and resources. "

Everything else, not so much.

WhatyouDontwantoHear · 2023-11-21T18:21:58+00:00

Christ some of these posts are so detached from reality I wonder if they're posted by aliens.

Cherish_Lifee · 2023-11-22T01:28:35+00:00

its not a double standard:

men with high body count (espically if those girls are some of the most beautiful women to walk the planet) he must be one of the best males in existence.

men who are virgins at 35 years of age: pathetic loser

for women its the reverse cause men and women have different roles when it comes to the procreation of the species, this idea that women that have a ton of sex partners would be celebrated if they were men is laughable, most likely the daddy issues or what ever trauma they have that causes them to have 5 sex partners in a week as a woman would cause them to struggle with women as men and therefore still be seen in a negative light. (Example)

aurelian667 · 2023-11-20T23:39:36+00:00

Why do you guys waste so much time developing these "theories" about how women think? They don't care whether it's a "double standard" or whatever, they just want to be able to do whatever they want and not face any consequences.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-11-21T00:58:47+00:00

Let’s try any other analogy.

That man can’t play basketball and is terrible at sports. But I just do saw him dunk on a child’s net so he’s worthy of admiration.

Surgeon lost every patient except one, so let’s all praise his skill.

Man is terrible at every single thing he’s attempted, but he’s good at Mario Cart so let’s hold a parade in his honor.

Am I doing this right?

Muscletov · 2023-11-21T14:49:49+00:00

My take on this "double-standard" that isn't:

Women are free to treat male sluts the way female ones are (allegedly) treated. The fact that women don't is their own problem, not men's.

Women give male sluts way too much power over them, mainly due to two reasons: the number of men who can be sluts is extremely low, because of women's rigid physical standards. Plus, a "tamed" or "reformed" male slut is considered the ultimate/only acceptable long-term partner by many women. It's simple market mechanics.

TidyMess123 · 2023-11-20T23:07:49+00:00

Your entire argument is unsound - women are not a hive mind that all think the same things with regards to this topic, or any other topic for that matter.

BootyMessiah · 2023-11-21T00:33:54+00:00

Only “beta males” care about notch count.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-11-20T23:22:43+00:00

A true 'slut' is a woman who sleeps with many types of men because she can feel attracted to many different types of men. This type of woman is rare and should be praised. Because the gift here is for a woman to feel true sexual attraction to many different types of men. Of course, this type of woman is usually very reviled --- even by the men who sleep with her. It's very tragic.

The garden variety 'slut' is insecure and validates herself via sex with men meeting a certain criteria.

As far as men go, having a high body count is probably only weakly correlated with attractiveness. There is no 'slayer' with 100% just hot chicks, or even 50%. I don't care what you think you saw or heard...doesn't exist. It more speaks to 1) extroversion and 2) sociosexuality and to be honest, 3) rec drug use/openness to use + 4) some base level of attractiveness.

Men slut shame women because theyre jealous of their ability to get laid when its not easy for the average man.

That's stupid. Any woman, slut or not, can get laid relative to the average guy, so this can't be it.

Men slut shame because they are afraid of being cheated on, are afraid of leaving any real impression on the woman sexually, are afraid of not receiving her genuine sexual attraction, are afraid of being treated like less of a man, etc.

^ those are the more accurate reasons.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-11-21T07:20:10+00:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again. An activity can't be bad, wrong or worthy of shame simply because it is easy to do. If it's good, right or impressive then it remains at the very least not bad even if you do it easily. For example we don't shame people who we feel have natural talent at anything, in fact we often give them extra praise. If you try hard to do something shameful we usually consider it more shameful, hence the "I didn't mean it!" defence that works in a court of law and has shamed many a friendship around the globe. If you are jealous of someone else you can very much keep it to yourself like an adult. And of course anyone who supports any kind of person still won't like their partner potentially cheating on them with that person, men don't want a praised "stud" to hit on their girlfriends either because that's rude.

hydro908 · 2023-11-21T02:25:10+00:00

I’ve been with girls with low counts and with high . There is 100% good reasoning by finding a girl with a low count

ohdiddly · 2023-11-21T06:22:00+00:00

You guys are impressed if a woman can get a rich guy? ...why?

gntlbastard · 2023-11-21T15:39:40+00:00

Its not about actually FUCKING a lot of women, its about having a lot of women that WANT to fuck you.

The only way a man can fuck a lot of women is if there are lot of women who want to fuck him. The two go hand in hand.

Chemical_Major_1403 · 2023-11-20T23:20:05+00:00

It's literaly the only double standards that is against women and it's used like it's some nuclear weapon against men to prove " the patriarchy " .

CrappyWitch · 2023-11-22T02:52:38+00:00

Anyone who is impressed or judgmental about the amount of sexual partners another human being has is weird. Anyone who feels this way is immature.

SnooCupcakes9990 · 2023-11-21T00:58:46+00:00

Women control sex. When you control something, you bear the responsibility

harmonica2 · 2023-11-20T23:07:11+00:00

I am guessing that the responses from others are going to be that even though most men can abstain from fucking a lot of women, a lot will feel pressured to do it still, just so they have social proof that they can, which women see as attractive, because social proof is just better than assumption?

The-Devilz-Advocate · 2023-11-20T23:13:42+00:00

I largely agree with your statements, but since this is a cmv post here, I go:

Men do "praise" high value men because by definition:

Verb: express warm approval or admiration of.

Noun: the expression of approval or admiration for someone or something.

They want to BE them. They might not fall down to their knees and suck these high value men, but they certainly take their words seriously and are impressionable for them.

Azihayya · 2023-11-21T03:59:01+00:00

I don't think that you're remotely approaching the origin of shame surrounding women's sexuality. You're just projecting smooth brain red pill philosophy onto cultural tropes to twist a narrative that furthers the smooth brain ideology. Nobody has ever slut shamed women because it's not an impressive feat for them to have sex with a ton of dudes--that has never ever been the point of slut shaming. I think it's so sick that men come into this sub and try to inject the most irrational level of nuance into these discussions, entirely to benefit the bias of a red pill men's perspective. You would never ever accept a woman coming in here and trying to present this level of nuance with the same level of bias. If you have ever thought that feminists or leftists were irrational for having strange fringe opinions before, I implore you to take a look in the mirror and examine what you're doing here.

shabby18 · 2023-11-21T09:52:07+00:00

Ohh god! This thing never ends. Not sure if you are active on this sub reddit. But this gets asked every month at least once, if not the same way, in a similar way.

I work in science I have closest friends as doctors, I have a psychologist in my family and let me tell you some hard truths. Here's my perspective.

Body count matters, but it's Irrespective of sex!

Every time you have sex there is a risk of pregnancy or STI/STD. EVERYTIME! Doesn't matter if it's the same partner or different, maybe the other partner is not faithful or accidentally caught it through other means (saliva). And if you have it you can transmit with your family(non sexual) even through food or exchanging half eaten sandwich.

Now lets dive into, Why sex feels good? Along with orgasm it releases Dopamine, Oxytocin and Endorphins.

If you need that dopamine hit, go create some meaningful, create and concur Todo list, meditate, exercise!

If you need oxytocin hit, build a relationship through friendship etc, hug loved ones, listen to music, cold showers etc!

If you need Endorphins, create art, laugh, exercise and chocolate and spicy food.

The problem of this generation is, a lot of not so good things are being normalized. Smoking is bad, drinking is ok but bad if you drive later on. But high body count and recless sexual habits are the worst. You are dirting the environment not just for you but for everyone around you, everyone you sleep with. If you consider sex as a sport, you are creating an ecosystem which is designed to fail.

And the reason women get a lot of hate in this regard is basically because a lot of women on average have higher body count compared to men. In the men's top 1% population and in women the 62% of the population.

Now if you are smart, who is your primary audience for sex education - that includes multiple partner chapters as well? (But yes, this must be still taught to everyone)

KamuiObito · 2023-11-21T03:09:03+00:00

Women are just narcissistic . They think a man with a high body count has to care about them. Like datint a player is aways a bad choice mam. But in their heads its 50/50

Safinated · 2023-11-22T17:58:37+00:00

Nope. If you understand that women’s prime function for men is being a usable sex object, everything makes sense — marriage customs, virginity fetishization, n counts, mate guarding, gendered slurs, paying for sex and dates, etc

PrettyBoysenberry867 · 2023-11-20T23:39:32+00:00

Of course nobody wants to touch on how women slut shame other women, which does more to fuel slut shaming than men Why would I allow my own respectability and social standing to be influenced by the company of women who are shamed by other women?

AutoModerator · 2023-11-20T23:02:08+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2023-11-20T23:02:09+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a CMV. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to have your view challenged may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Asking few or no genuine questions;

Seeming more interested in arguing or convincing others than understanding opposing views;

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Explicit statements of an intent to change the other posters’ minds; or

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to CMV OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

wtknight · 2023-11-21T01:16:04+00:00

Women are more attracted to a guy that posts pictures with his dog and his girlfriend on a nice vacation than a single, super muscular guy taking gym selfies. It shows a lifestyle that is attractive to her and it shows that he has been vetted.

Women are more interested in a guy with interested hobbies or an interesting high status job that she can brag about to her friends than about a "nice guy with a dog". That doesn't really impress women that much, although it will impress her more than some guy whose hobby is playing video games in his parent's basement, of course.

And as for pre-selection, I think that the effect is overrated. Some unattractive guy could post a picture with his unattractive girlfriend and no woman is going to be more impressed by that. An old guy like me could post a picture with my wife in it and no young woman is going to be impressed by just that.

Women desire, attractive, interesting men with social skills first and foremost, whether they are single or taken.

But the part about men having higher status by being desired by many different kinds of women is pretty accurate. The more women that a man can appeal to, the higher value he is usually considered. That valuing doesn't necessarily have to be measured by sexual encounters, but in the west these days, it often is.

And yes, women still are valued by being able to attract high status men rather than many men, of course.

I know that I'm agreeing with the title of your CMV, but I still have to challenge your views about pre-selection and what really interests women, because I don't think that they are accurate. Pre-selection is a component, but it's such a low component compared to the other things that women judge men by.

ashaw7 · 2023-11-21T12:44:24+00:00

Women are pro only fans but not pro their boyfriend looking at only fans.

Women are pro only fans the same way women are pro abortion. They aren't. Like abortion, which is opposed by a lot of women but falsely framed as men telling women what they can do with their bodies. The only women who are pro only fans are the ones that think it could benefit them, just like the women who are pro abortion.

CoC2018 · 2023-11-21T12:47:52+00:00

Sex is just sex people like it so people do it of course it’s frowned upon more so on girls than guys and I’ve been guilty of slut shaming myself but I think there’s more to it than that if a girl sleeps around for validation because she’s insecure that’s more of a red flag then a girl who sleeps around because she likes sex two different scenarios but from outside looking in they both look like red flags I know girls who’ve slept around and when in relationships are completely committed and vice versa

murphdogg4 · 2023-11-21T14:02:55+00:00

Nope. This was a real double standard for years tho it's started to swing the other way. I grew up in the 80's and there was a culture of dbaggery that applauded men sleeping with tons of women while judging women who did the same. That has started to swing too far the other way in reaction to where women sleeping with tons of men is empowering and men who do it are f#$%boys.

2023-11-21T21:31:44+00:00

Men benefit from sluts more than women do because atleast some men get to fuck sluts.

I disagree with only this part. Only a few men can fuck sluts but all women can be sluts if they choose. So it definitely benefits women more.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-11-22T02:49:40+00:00

Men being jealous of women being able to have sex never made sense to me. Idk if its because I've never had a problem getting sex but I'm pretty sure theres nothing that I envy about getting fucked in three holes by a protruding organ. If I were a woman I'd stay a virgin goddess my whole life.

The double standard: man has alot of sexual partners = good. Woman has alot of sexual partners = bad. Is misunderstood.

Comments

LogicFail

Title	The double standard: man has alot of sexual partners = good. Woman has alot of sexual partners = bad. Is misunderstood.
Author	Krinklebuddy
Upvotes	89
Comments	374
Date	November 20, 2023 11:02 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1801v7i/the_double_standard_man_has_alot_of_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-double-standard-man-has-alot-of-sexual.1238949 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238949