Q4W what is the root cause of men's dating complaints?

Silver_Past2313 · 2024-02-23T18:07:34+00:00

Are men just complaining because they want a better deal than they deserve, or are there systemic issues in the dating market? What should men or society do?...

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I think a large problem is that men think that they ARE their online dating profiles, and if they don't get likes, that's just how THEY are rated by women. No, it's their profile. The same man can have a bottom 30% profile or a top 20% profile, just by what pictures of him are used and what he puts in the bio. Men are not used to curating their online presence like women are. If they install an OLD app, they have to scroll through YEARS of pics in their gallery to find 90% really bad ones and maybe one picture that is okayish. And guess what who takes good (candid or not) pictures of guys: girlfriends or female friends. And guess what the men who struggle on dating apps do not have/have had in the past: girlfriends or female friends who take great dating app photos of them while they are out and about, or do some photo shootings at home.

The next thing is that men don't understand the female gaze for the most part and pic picture THEY think are appealing (posing with fish for example, or looking stoically into the distance with sunglasses on, or posing in front of mechanical things with alcohol in their hands, etc.).

In an ecosystem where the top third profiles of men are equal numbers as 100% of the women, why would women swipe right on the bottom half of male profiles? Profile attractiveness is EVERYTHING in such a highly competitive market, and even just improving how you present yourself by a little can make the difference of getting regular likes that lead to dates every 2-3 weeks, or to get no likes ever.

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I agree with you that physical attractiveness is the first barrier. However, a lot of men are also actually more attractive than they seem in their online profiles. Idk what it is, maybe a lot of men don't know how to take flattering pictures or their attractiveness just doesn't really come out on a two dimensional picture. Irl you get way more information, even just the physical kind.

I'm involved in the swinger scene in my country. We have a website where you can have a profile and also can sign up for real life events. Of course with online dating as a woman I have the privilege to only interact with those, whose profiles I find the most appealing. But several times now I've encountered it that someone who I didn't find attractive based on his profile pics, I did find attractive when meeting them at a swinger event.

Therefore I would definitely say that real life interactions can really improve a man's chances. Of course as a woman I'm not going to give every man I meet online a chance based on the off chance that he could be actually more attractive than what his profile is showing, I wouldn't be doing anything else than going on dates if I did that. But my experience just showed me that in addition to the ratio on dating sites, men have another disadvantage of being able to really show their attractiveness in online profiles.

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The male/female ratio is a big part of that, but I don’t know why the ratio is the way it is.

My friend was on apps for awhile looking for a FWB and it was astonishing how the vast majority of dudes she matched with just completely fumbled the ball at the 1 yard line. The majority of dudes just made zero effort to get to know her once they knew she was looking for something casual. You can see this attitude reflected all over by guys who are baffled that a woman would want to get to know a guy before letting him stick his dick in her.

And then there's just weird shit, like one dude who went on a rant after she called him "bro" as a joke (he didn't think it was very lady like). Another dude she was ready to fuck and just asked him to meet at a bar first and he absolutely refused. A few guys who just ghosted after she refused to send nudes before meeting. My favorite though was the guy who kept lecturing her on how easy it was for women to get casual sex while she is trying to have casual sex with him. She eventually gave up because it was so frustrating.

In short, a lot of it has to do with shitty dudes driving women away. When I was single, it was actually a help because just being mildly charming would put you so far ahead of every other guy she was talking to, but it sounds like it's gotten so bad women don't even want to bother.

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Thank you. I'm on a website for swingers. You can register with a solo profile or a profile as a couple. Everyone who is joining is already looking for casual sex, not a serious relationship (although there are couples who actually did meet through the website).

And yet some of the messages I get make it seem that some dudes have absolutely no clue about social interactions. Luckily they are the minority but damn. Yes, even if someone is looking for something casual it doesn't mean that they're okay with being regarded as a sentient fleshlight instead of a human being. Casual sex can be fun, but you still need to interact respectfully. However I must say that my interactions are still better than on Tinder. At least for my country the clichés about the swinger scene is not true. I mean yes, there are definitely the old couples and whatnot but there are also a lot of young, attractive couples and single people who love and live the hedonistic lifestyle.

Still, men could have so much more success on dating sites, it's really a shame.

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Yep, it's German. I'm just getting into the Swinger scene here but it's huge. There are many events, a lot of young and sexy people are involved. I've met someone who is in the scene for years and he told me that foreigners come to Germany specifically because the scene is so big. We have quite a few Swinger clubs here, modern, great establishments. Most of the time everyone is very respectful. A No is a No and people know that they're not guaranteed sex just because they're attending a party. If there are complaints, they get blocked and are not allowed to attend any more parties so people are on their best behavior. Oftentimes with private events, the organisers who work together with the clubs, are preselecting the guest list anyways. There are some very exclusive events where I also don't get in, but you can see the guest lists and it's all dudes with six packs and women with a model figure. The website also has a verification process, where you can show that you are actually the one in the pics. People who are not verified don't get into the private events. Also, other members can verify your profile if they met you personally. Once you get five verifications from other members, it shows on your profile.

The whole thing is pretty sweet and the people are actually very nice. At least with the events I've been to it wasn't something seedy. But of course it's hedonistic enjoyment. There are specific playrooms in the club but I've also seen a threesome right next to the bar. It was actually great as all three were very good looking. In between another guest came up to them with a glass of water so that they wouldn't get dehydrated. The whole thing was quite sweet and hilarious at the same time. It's a really great atmosphere, but you have to be open to the experience and of course still treat everyone with respect. It's not something for judgmental people.

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I didn't say the exact treatment, men and women are different and their antisocial behaviour will manifest itself in different way. Women using men as bank cheques for expensive restaurants, dragging along a date just to subsidise their lifestyle with no real intention of getting serious. Height shaming. Income shaming. Getting the ick for the smallest reasons when messaging dates. Only using dating apps for validation. Ghosting. Dating can be crushing for men's self esteem because of how toxic and lopsided the power dynamics are in online dating. Id rather men act like arseholes than be some emotional punching for a generation of women so used to exploiting men or treating them like theyre disposable turfs with no feelings on dating apps. Hopefully things get so bad that dating apps lose their appeal and we can go back to less anti social ways of interacting with one another.

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We want to be loved for us, not because we're the only one that said yes.

Ironically, making it so hard to find a partner makes this particular thing kind of inevitable to a degree.

It's like job interviews. You don't get more sincerity by raising the requirements, what you get is desperation and better liars.

If I thought I could get the job by being honest, I'd be honest, but unless I'm the first guy to interview for the job, then obviously being honest didn't get the last guy too far or else you wouldn't be talking to me.

No ones going to love you for you when every man expects to be treated like an afterthought if you don't choose them.

Emotional investment can only be sustained in an environment where we all exchange it. Passively waiting for men to find you and also see something special in you, woman #XXX, who is probably not going to give the time of day is unwise.

I hope you have men that already know you in your life, because those are your best shot if that's what you want in a man. Either that, or go look for your magic man yourself.

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I think women and men fundamentally cannot see eye to eye when it comes to dating and relationship issues. In the Old world, you had experienced elders who tried to bridge this gap through mutual understanding and some pressure to get both parties working together to make compromises so harmony is restored. Today, those elders don't exist. Instead we have social media, feminism and the manosphere circlejerk which is only worsening the divide and the ideological bubble both genders are in. We need to bring back a fair arbiter of gender relations. One that both parties can see is unbiased and fair, and will be able to hear both sides like maybe a superhuman AI with deep knowledge of human relationships. I doubt women can ever understand or be empathetic to Mens struggle, as are men to women's struggle. We are too diametrically opposed to get to the middleground by ourselves.

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Women are independent, safe, and doing well now that men have tamed the world for them. Literally every single thing in a woman's life that gives her comfort, stability, and safety, outside of social connections, depends almost entirely on the work of men.

Men used to be the provider and protector of their woman, now that has been outsourced to the other men in society at large. Women's safety depends on mostly male police officers, her health on mostly male doctors, her food on male farmers and male truck drivers to bring it to her, her rights ensured by mostly male lawyers, and her governmental services and benefits mostly funded through men's taxes.

Men are still absolutely essential to every part of a woman's life, but they've been removed to the background, and so women take them for granted.

When the world was still full of feral wolves and tigers and bandits and brigands, women seemed to be happier to stay behind the walls men built, but now that the wolves and tigers and bandits are taken care of, women feel independent and that they don't need no man?

Men also need women, but generally that's something men are far more ready and willing to admit than women seem willing to admit they need men.

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Some are literally safer than men. Less likely to be murdered, less likely to ve victims of violent crime, equally likely to be raped than man, unfortunately more likely to be stalked than men, less likely to die in a car crash than men, less likely to die at work than men, less likely to die of virtually every single disease and cancer than men, less likely to be victims of substance abuse than men, less likely to be homeless than men, and less likely to kill themselves than men.

That's why women routinely outlive men, because women lead safer lives than men by virtually every single measurable metric, while society continues to try and make women's lives ever safer, and doesn't give a fuck about men's safety.

I hear you on burdened financially and trapped with children, but the exact same also applies to men. The difference is women cah choose to have a child, women can choose to only have sex if he has a condom, can choose to have one of a dozen different contraceptive methods, can choose to have the morning after pill, can choose to have an abortion, and can choose to give up the child for adoption.

For the record I'm in favour of all of these in favour of sex Ed and free contraceptives to teens, and in favour of free and accessible abortions. I am in favour of all of these things because they are demonstrably the best approach to avoid teen pregnancy, unwanted children, and increase the chances of happy and healthy families.

But my point is women have choice and control over every single one of these things, and men don't. If he wears a condom, and she pokes holes in the condom, and chooses to keep the child, he will be forced by law to pay child support for a kid he never agreed to. If she rapes him and becomes pregnant, in the US she can sue him and win child support, forcing him to pay his rapist to provide for a child he didn't agree to.

Men have basically no choice whatsoever while women have (and should have) all the choices and options available to her.

So don't come crying to men about the situation women are in when they have all the choices and all the options available to her. Part of being a responsible adult is being accountable and responsible for the consequences of one's own choices.

Women are simply doing better than they used to, which bothers men who feel entitled to control.

That's not what bothers men. What bothers men is that women are doing better than men because men literally voted to give women the right to vote (as was the right thing to do) voted to give women the right to abortion (as was the right thing to do), gave women contraceptives, gave women safety by taming the world and having police to protect women, voted for feminist measures to help women (half the feminists are men and half the republican voters are women, so it's not all credit to women and all blame to men like feminism likes to portray it), and men have basically done a ton to help women be able to flourish.

And then women turn around, take all that for granted, rewrite history to ignore men's contributions, say "look how far we came all on our own, were so much better than men, we don't need no men, why can't men get up to our level" while ignoring that men have actively built women up to that level over centuries.

I'm all for recognizing women's contributions and help to society but that also means we have to recognize men's help and contribution, and not take it for granted.

Feminism treats equality like a one way street exclusively to women's benefit but that's not equality at all now is it?

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Classic red pillers. "I don't want any of the blame for the bad things men do, but I would like all the credit."

That might be a valid argument if any credit were given for the infinite good things (many) men do alongside the few bad things (few) men do. But it's not because it's not. Nobody says "some men are absolute criminal shitbags but a male doctor also saved my life, male scientists and technology experts invented the stuff that makes the iPhone that I can't be without work, and men toiled and potentially even died to build the places I have found valuable in my life". If they did, maybe you'd have a point.

In any case, if you ever thought true the argument that men deserve/need to be responsible for what other men do and that it's reasonable that men should be judged primarily or exclusively on bad behaviour, your stance in believing that the above commenter is wrong is equally as invalid as you believe theirs is, if you don't like the flip side of it.

Because, whether either of them make sense or should be integrated into society's behaviour or not, they're the same thought process. Either way around suggests that individual men should be treated a particular way based only on one aspect of a gender's collective effect on the world. If you don't approve of taking into account one aspect without the other then that should apply to the negatives as well as the positives. You're just choosing the aspect that they get judged by to the benefit of your own argument, leaving out massive amounts of context just like the argument you derided does.

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Except feminists treat equality like a one way street exclusively to the benefit of women.

We can talk about equality when feminism stops erasing the male rape victims and recognize that men are half the rape victims in the US, almost half of rapists are women, half the domestic abuse victims in Canada, and when feminism starts acknowledging that circumcision is infant genital mutilation.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4062022/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/sexual-victimization-by-women-is-more-common-than-previously-known/

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/332917590_Prevalence_and_Consequences_of_Intimate_Partner_Violence_in_Canada_as_Measured_by_the_National_Victimization_Survey

We can never have equality if feminism isn't willing to treat men as equal partners with problems and issues just as equally worthy of consideration as women's issues.

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[–]BCRE8TVEPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

If I say I work for the equality of rich people, does that automatically mean I'm working for equality?

It's not working for equality if you're working to improve one side and then don't stop when you reach equality. There are now proportionally more women in universities, than there were men in universities in the 1960s. We didn't achieve equality, we flipped the inequality, and women still have access to far more scholarships and awards than men do, despite women already being more than equal in that respect.

Where is the equality there?

I'm also not trying to silence women. I'm actually in agreement with feminism with about 80% of issues affecting women, I am pro consent, pro sex Ed, pro free contraceptives to teens, pro free and accessible abortion, and anti sexism in the workplace.

The problem is that it is feminism that desperately tries to silence men's issues and the men who talk about it, then blame men for trying to do that to women. It's called DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender), it's a form of mental and emotional abuse, and it is rampant in feminism because it virtually flat out assumes men are always the perpetrators or always at fault no matter what.

I'm not trying to silence anyone, I am in favour of free speech. I'm not the one crying out sexism, misogyny, oppression, and trying to get people cancelled and to shut up. I'm all for free speech.

The problem is that free speech means you can freely speak about feminism's horrible failures to recognize and address men's issues, feminism'ss hypocrisy, and feminism's double standards, but feminists don't want that.

Free speech for me but not for thee is not free speech, just like treating equality like a one way street exclusively to women's benefit is not equality.

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There were kids being called losers, freaks, nerds, swots, teachers pets, fatties, spotty, specky, four-eyes, and so on long before the internet existed or was available to any but the highly technical early adopters.

There were also plenty of solo pursuits one could have when friends were a rarity, many have been mocked over the years. Butterfly collectors for being soft and weak for liking pretty, delicate creatures. Stamp collectors for being inconceivably boring. Train spotters for being so unfathomably obsessed with something so mundane that they'd stand in the wind and rain for hours just to see a number on the side of a passing locomotive.

What's the common theme? Passion for a pursuit that most people don't understand or immediately benefit from engaging with. People don't like people who have deep, opaque hobbies. It distances them from communicating easily about shared topics. I don't know what "prestige" is in Call of Duty or why "actions per minute" matter in StarCraft and I'm guessing most women don't either, nor do they (or I) particularly care, there are ways in which you can easily depict gaming enthusiasts as another in the line of hobbyists that nobody understands.

Although it's just a meme at this point anyway, because many women play games too, even if they don't see them the same as the guy playing XBOX. Theirs just might be iPhone or Facebook games instead. It's a multi-billion dollar industry, it's huge. It's not as weird as some here want to make it out to be and most men aren't sitting glued to the TV shooting virtual soldiers across the internet 18 hours a day, every single day. Even some who are would rather be doing something else, but they may not have access to the people locally to do things with (via location, social difficulties, money, disability, whatever it might be).

Besides which, you could equally label women the same, with their social media and media consumption habits. I don't think constantly binging Netflix or constantly scrolling TikTok is healthy either. If you'd said that infinite availability of isolating, manipulative, and socially atomising technology and media were affecting people in general, not just men, or young men, then I would've agreed with you. But I don't buy that this is something you can blame specifically on young men being gaming (and, as is often said here, porn) addicts.

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> Do you really think that "broke men don't deserve pussy" women are raised to be cooperative people?

no, i think the whole reason it is empowering is bc we've heard lyrics like this from men for decades and women have never been socialized to think like this

> We live in a very consumerist and individualist society.

because thats what the top men have decided serves their interests

> Are you really going to say that women are the ones who just want to meet their partners in the middle and help each other out equally?

not at all

i dont think that

i think women are socialized to fit the female gender role (cooperative) and men are socialized to fit the male gender role (dominate)

i've always known that some people are strong enough to be their authentic selves in a way that doesn't fit gender roles, more power to them

but its not as if we can't comment on general differences between the sexes (due to socialization, in this case)

> Women are socialized to make demands. Men are socialized to provide those demands.

very few men are with women who do not also work full time, so i dont see how that works.

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yes, you let them have their way

Yes, exactly. It’s only really an issue when the dominate person doesn’t know how to take a more submissive role when their partner is more competent on a matter. But this comes down to socialization. Men learn pretty quickly that being submissive/cooperative doesn’t work very well with a lot of women. If they don’t make moves and dominate the interactions then nothing ever happens or progresses.

its unsurprising women are not interested in living their lives this way when other options are available

Yes because women are socialized to believe they’re competent in every role and that they can compete toe to toe with men at everything. Of course plenty of women accept the submissive/complementary role no problem (they love being led), but for many women it grates against their ego. Nothing wrong with that but it’s just that; their ego.

funny how that only applies to heterosexual romantic relationships...

Cap. Butch women exist. Abusive relationships between women exist. But most of all, women’s form of “dominance” isn’t usually physical. Women dominate through sexual and psychological avenues. No matter what the pairing no relationship is without someone whose more dominate. Again the key is that the dominate person respects the submissive persons’s submissiveness and doesn’t abuse it, but also the submissive person holds a lot of power too and shouldn’t weaponize their submissiveness.

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It’s only really an issue when the dominate person doesn’t know how to take a more submissive role when their partner is more competent on a matter.

thats... what patriarchy teaches men tho

i remember a very famous pastor holding up his bible and saying that a man isn't a man if there's a noise downstairs at night and he isn't the one who goes to investigate. his wife could be a police officer or chyna from the WWE but all that matters to the pastor is that the man has to be the one to do it, regarless of who is more competent in this area.

another big conservative pastor says that a man who is an assistant to a female boss questions the humanity of both people.

> Men learn pretty quickly that being submissive/cooperative doesn’t work very well with a lot of women. If they don’t make moves and dominate the interactions then nothing ever happens or progresses.

would it?

or are men not okay going at a woman's pace so they pressure women to go at the pace the man prefers?

> women are socialized to believe they’re competent in every role

literally untrue

women have lower self-esteem than men

men overestimate their abilities while women underestimate their abilities

> Of course plenty of women accept the submissive/complementary role no problem (they love being led), but for many women it grates against their ego

why would anyone follow some random for no reason other than they are submissive and he is dominant?

doesn't make sense, seems unsafe

> No matter what the pairing no relationship is without someone whose more dominate.

i literally only have cooperative relationships, i don't know what you are talking about

i would not stand for any kind of relationship where we are not a cooperating team

> the submissive person holds a lot of power too and shouldn’t weaponize their submissiveness.

lol by definition, no they don't hold "a lot of power" this is just what someone in charge says to trick the person not in charge into accepting an uneven agreement

[–]YasuotheChosenOneRed Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

thats... what patriarchy teaches men tho

Does it?

i remember a very famous pastor holding up his bible and saying that a man isn't a man if there's a noise downstairs at night and he isn't the one who goes to investigate.

Insane that women could take men risking their lives for them as an insult. I don’t know many dudes who would rather their girl risk her life for them. Even if she a well trained officer of something, it’s highly unlikely she could take a full grown man. I’d much rather have her back me up than take the lead.

another big conservative pastor says that a man who is an assistant to a female boss questions the humanity of both people.

Yeah this is just goofy though.

or are men not okay going at a woman's pace so they pressure women to go at the pace the man prefers?

Of course. As do women pressure men to go at their pace.

Both paces are beneficial for their respective gender. Women want men to invest emotionally/financially before sex, and men want sex before investing emotionally/financially. It makes sense from both sides, but in the end you can tell someone is into you if they’re willing to give up their pace to match yours.

When a women finds a man she really likes, she’ll usually give up the pussy faster, and when a man finds a women he really likes, he’s usually willing to wait to have sex with her. Ideally both like/respect each other and compromise; they both recognize they wanna fuck but wait a little just to be safe (at least 1 date).

women are socialized to believe they’re competent in every role

literally untrue

Really? I feel like women are getting the message that they can do it all (be beautiful, high paying career, and a family) all without needing a man.

women have lower self-esteem than men

Yeah, physically. That’s because women are ruthless towards each other’s looks. You keep pushing your own expectations higher which makes you more insecure because you can’t reach them/aren’t them.

men overestimate their abilities while women underestimate their abilities

Well yeah men tend to have higher confidence/arrogance than women. It’s the testosterone.

why would anyone follow some random for no reason other than they are submissive and he is dominant?

doesn't make sense, seems unsafe

Well yeah obviously he shouldn’t be a random but someone trusted and vetted for his competence/leadership.

i literally only have cooperative relationships, i don't know what you are talking about

i would not stand for any kind of relationship where we are not a cooperating team

Enforcing your boundaries is dominance. Others submitting to that is cooperation. The interactions are there you just aren’t characterizing them as dominance/submission.

lol by definition, no they don't hold "a lot of power" this is just what someone in charge says to trick the person not in charge into accepting an uneven agreement

It’s well known in the BDSM community that it’s the sub who has all the power. Anyone who respects their partners knows this; the dom dominates, but the sub allows it to happen (cooperation).

Your boss is nothing without employees. The trick is getting employees to believe they’re not the ones in control. That’s why so many corporations hate unions or why it’s “taboo” to discuss your salaries.

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i completely agree, as does the red pill. you need something to offer her. money, looks, status, height, muscularity, lifestyle, similar interests, etc. though blue pillers and women love to focus on the latter while it is largely the former that gets you women.

the question is, exactly how much does a man need to offer to get a woman? an ugly one, an average one, a hot one, etc.

the answer is that in the modern day, we have (rightfully) chosen a society that treats both genders equally and done away with the vast majority of sexist laws, responsibilities and requirements for women. this has not occurred for men and, when combined with the fact that women need men less than ever, men get a double whammy: men both need to perform traditional and modern roles/responsibilities while also exceeding the women in a number of metrics such as height, income, etc.

in conclusion: the less women need men, the more men need to offer women. the more a woman provides for herself, the more you need to provide to get her. compound this with the fact that, for example, women are entering enter male-dominated and high-paying fields more and more and you essentially get a “bare minimum” so high for most women that the average man simply can’t achieve it.

below average men never existed to women to begin with, average men have less to offer than ever (by design) and top level men get all the spoils.

below average women try to get average men, average and above average women flock to the top level men get both women for casual sex and the pick of the litter for relationships.

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A. You just admitted that relationships are in essence, prostitution. Men’s resources for women’s sex. This is sexual transaction.

B. 50 years ago, a rose bouquet was enough to win a random woman over. Today, you need 6-6-6: 6 inch dick, 6 figure bank account, 6 packs.

I call this bullshit.

Women need to be useful. Beauty & sex don’t mean shit if you can’t be useful to men.

Because beauty & sex are the least thing you can offer, and you are offering factory-setting functionalities for money and resources? WTF? You wanna get shit simply because you have a womb?

Why can’t you be useful? Why can’t you offer other things than just your sex and beauty?

Aren’t women constantly complaining about being objectified and sexualized? Aren’t women complaining about men only look for sex not anything else like romance and stuff? “Being able to treat a woman like a human being, and seeing her as who she is”?

Fuck me. Now it’s all real. That’s the only thing you want, money for your pussy.

So you are basically saying relationships are intrinsically prostitution in disguise?

[–]NellylocheadbeanNo Pill Woman 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

A rose bouquet was enough to win a woman over because woman needed a man survival. Now that’s no longer the case.

Men don’t require women to be useful, let’s not act like this isn’t the norm. Men standards for Women are to be available, pretty and have sex. Blame men for that.

You’re looking at this wrong. Women don’t want to get things solely because they have a womb. Men offer these things because they desire the attention of a woman. Again blame men. They set the standard.

You could probably say that it’s a loose form of prostitution to unattractive men. She basically likes you for what you can do for her and how he makes her feel.

Most men aren’t attractive so the next best thing is your resources. Attractive men get the best treatment from a woman.

Women complain about being sexualized and objectified from random men she doesn’t know. Just like it’s wrong for men to be objectified from women he doesn’t know.

Yes women do complain about men only wanting sex because they want to be liked for their personality.

I hope that helps

[–]neverendingplush 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Let me buy you a drink cause you're spitting facts.
Most modern marriages are basically just socially acceptable prostitution because the majority of these guys wouldn't have landed a younger version of their partner . But most men aren't sexually experienced enough to understand the game, so the they get tied down the the first woman that gives them consistent sexual access until it all changes when they get married . Bait and switch. Most guys could give two shits about marriage, women push for it because it locks down resources. Women are playing a completely different game. Dumb guy is in love with someone who's playing checkers.

I literally saw my own mother message a former classmate on Facebook, move across country to stay in his house within a month . Get pregnant by the dude within a month . She did this at 40 with 4 kids from previous relationships.

My ex has literally told me she is physically disgusted by her current dude. Dude has a audi and a nice house. Blew my mind, I didn't even ask her all of this.

One of my friends said he felt insecure because he saw the dudes his wife dated when she was younger , 😂.

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Women complain about being sexualized and objectified from random men she doesn’t know. Just like it’s wrong for men to be objectified from women he doesn’t know.

This is so nonsensical. Men don’t care whether they’d get “objectified” by a random woman or not. Most men feel proud and happy if they do, albeit it can still constitute as molestation.

Yes women do complain about men only wanting sex because they want to be liked for their personality.

You are only presenting your sex honey. Most of your “personalities” are exactly the same like any other random chick on the street. Most women don’t have interesting characters. Most of their personalities are exactly the same.

This woman is gotten through resources. There’s nothing to like about her personality. Because it don’t matter. If she isn’t even there in the first place for your resources, she wouldn’t even be here to let you bang her. If it’s transactional by nature, there’s nothing about liking her personality. You know why? Because y’all are too replaceable from the beginning.

It’s like you bought a toy and now the toy is complaining you are not paying attention or liking the toy’s fluffy features and all that stuff. You are my toy. Tf are you taking about?

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Anyway, alot of guys here are saying they can’t get dates. But that is not your issue, so your situation is unique here.

You say you’re literally dating a different person EVERY WEEK (20-30 dates in six months) so you have no problem in terms of getting interest. You are churning women so fast you don’t get to know any of them. I concede that you’re probably hot, and women are interested in dating you, but they aren’t really women you like or respect to begin with.

However, you may need to slow down. You don’t need to date a different woman every week. Focus on finding someone worth dating, rather than any chubby, stupid, self absorbed female you come across and then getting disappointed.

Based on how you describe the 20-30 women you’ve dated in the last 6 months, it seems you don’t think highly of them and it probably comes across that way to them. If 20-30 women in a 6 month period who are really not that great are disinterested in a second encounter with you, i submit that the common issue is you and the way you engage. Stop asking out stupid, self absorbed women.

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I think straight men are complaining because:

they want sex but can’t attract any woman (or any woman they want)
they want female romantic affection but can’t attract it (or can’t attract it from a woman they want)
they want female submission but can’t organically inspire it

I think this is happening because:

males have 20x more testosterone than females and thus have a more compulsory sex drive. There’s a biological libido differential.
males and females have different cognition and think differently which exacerbates the above bullet
women in most of the west have agency and choice now so men aren’t guaranteed a wife who’s obligated to be with him so she has a livelihood outside of her father.

What should men or society do?

less focus on carnal pleasure? Lol
incentivize family building and community?
less smartphone and video game dependency and more in-person interaction?
boys seems to excel better when they’re in organized team building physical exertion? So put ya sons in team sports or Boy Scouts or ROTC or ranch/farm collectives. If you’re comfortable with that? Women and other men seem to be more taken with these types of men.
instill goal setting and encourage affable IRL socialization to your sons. Girls too! But again this OP is about what attracts women to men.

Good luck!

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Title	Q4W what is the root cause of men's dating complaints?
Author	Silver_Past2313
Upvotes	25
Comments	339
Date	February 23, 2024 6:07 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ay7b3t/q4w_what_is_the_root_cause_of_mens_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-is-the-root-cause-of-mens-dating.1246239 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246239

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