It's not you, women just don't like to be approached in public

wakaflocka987 · 2019-11-14T01:39:18+00:00

You don't speak for all women. I'm also just a tad above average looking. I got a hot body/ugly face situation. I know it makes me approachable to guys. I don't give a fuck that I always got approached more because I'm not the hottest. I actually sort of liked it. I don't want to feel special. I'm pragmatic. I'm all about the logic. I get approached more than super hot girls and that's a win for me. My value isn't in my looks, so I don't need to feel like the prettiest girl at the damn ball.

Do guys first approach for looks? Obviously. Again, I don't give a fuck. I'm first attracted to a man based on looks too. That's how humans work. It's all good with me.

It's annoying that women like you try to speak for all of us. We're not a freaking monolith. We women are not a hive mind. We are a diverse population of individuals with different preferences and varying levels of friendliness.

I have been approached at the mall, given out my number and gone on dates with guys I met at the mall. I've been approached in Starbucks. When I was in college, on campus: It did not offend me. I wasn't running home crying. It made me feel excited that I had a date.

It's hard enough to find love. Stop deterring men from being brave and approaching the women who are open to being approached.

If you do not want to be approached, just be firm and stand up for yourself. "I'm not interested in talking. Thank you."

If it's broad daylight in a public place, there's no reason you can't do this. I know women like to act like men approaching to talk is some big scary situation. It isn't. And if you are scared, carry mace or a firearm. I'm all for women protecting themselves from creeps and violent predators. But the majority of men are not either of those things. And this narrative that women are timid little wisps internally sobbing whenever someone a dick walks up to them to chat in a Starbucks: well, that's condescending as fuck. I'm not afraid of men, but if I was I would find a way to feel safe again. Instead of spreading all over the internet: No men talk to any women ever!!

Like, for real, that's ridiculous.

PrettyRhubarb · 2019-11-14T00:03:47+00:00

I am a girl and I beg to differ.

Before I explain why I disagree, I have to say that in general I'm way more cautious about the guys I meet in public because, being a complete stranger, there is no way to tell if they are lying or not. I usually go with my intuition, though. Most of the guys that approach me in the middle of the street or in public in general are kinda creepy (talking about sex or using sleezy pick-up lines). That being said, I still give people the benefit of the doubt.

My longest relationship was with a guy that literally stopped me in the middle of the street. I was with a friend, we were going back home from the gym, he saw me while being in a car with his friend, he literally told him to stop the car and went out, approached us and introduced himself. He seemed normal, not very pushy and invited both me and my friend out, to get to know each other. I almost said no, because at the time I had the same fear you do, and I can't tell you how happy I am I said yes and went out with him. I felt safe because I was going with a friend and we weren't alone, his friend was there too. I laughed my ass off the entire night and it was one of the best nights of my life.

My point is, yes, there is truth in what you say but my advice is to just go with your gut feeling and not dismiss everyone that approaches you in public because you might be missing out.

2019-11-13T21:31:00+00:00

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TheSicilianDude · 2019-11-13T23:48:23+00:00

I’d like to start off by saying your opinion is 100% valid and I completely understand why you and some girls are put off by the idea of being cold approached while out and about.

And if I ever did approach you and you rejected me, I’d tell you to have a nice day and I’d go approach someone else.

But I’m going to echo the words of my favorite dating advice guru on cold approach: You are right. Many or even most girls don’t like being approached in public. It can be weird, awkward, and disruptive. You went out to shop, not meet guys, right? Well, forgive me if this sounds condescending, as that’s not my intent, but when you (and other women) describe this dislike for being cold approached, what if I told you you’re only thinking of the bad approaches and not the good ones?

Because in women’s minds, when they think about not liking being cold approached, they are thinking of the bad awkward approaches by guys they aren’t interested in. The smooth confident guys who they ARE interested in that cold approach are slotted into a different category in their mind. The former is slotted into “cold approaches” and the latter is slotted into “it just happened.” Some cool guy came up to me at the park and we talked for a bit and I gave him my number. We’re getting drinks on Thursday.

To be frank, this is why we practice. To go from awkward to smooth. And yes, even if we’re flawless in execution, a girl may not be interested. If that’s the case, okay then. If she is interested, then I’m a cool guy she “just happened to meet.”

caP1taL1sm_420 · 2019-11-14T00:15:48+00:00

Well I live in NYC and I fall in love about 2-3 times every freaking day just walking around Manhattan. My question for you is, I see a girl who I instantly want to approach and get to know.

What is the best way in your opinion to make the approach and minimize the awkwardness and weirdness of it? Like, I recognize exactly what you're saying and agree, but ultimately, if I see a girl I really truly just have to talk to and try to meet, what's the best way to go about it?

I'm also with you in that I definitely do not "go out and daygame" that just seems weird. My approaches during the day are much more limited and genuine because I simply can't live with the regret of not saying something.

What advice can you give me / us to overcome the problems with precisely what you're outlining? That's what we're after.

RunningSloth33 · 2019-11-14T02:04:23+00:00

I'm a female and I totally disagree with this. I do not believe I am above-average looking nor do I believe I'm better than anyone. I love to hear people's stories. Of course if there is a ring on the finger, that's a different situation. But if someone is being nice and compliments me, it does make me feel a little special and puts a smile on my face. If someone hits on my, I dont automatically think they wanna do me. I think that life is too short and they just wanted to compliment me. I do this to people all the time. Im not a lesbian but I can appreciate feminine beauty as well as handsome masculinity. I compliment people all the time. I talk to everyone all the time, wherever I am. Hearing people's stories is a start of a new friendship. You learn different talents people have. If they hit on you and you aren't interested, still be nice. It could be the start of a new friendship. Why would you care if they got 10 other numbers? It's all in your mindset. If you know nothing is going to come of it, who cares. Life is too short, live it to its fullest. Change your thoughts.

2019-11-13T23:36:51+00:00

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winningace · 2019-11-14T02:05:08+00:00

OP gonna get flamed hard.

To the readers, don't take dating advice from a girl. And if someone tries to shame you into doing it it's because they've got an agenda. Often, the fact there's shame involved means you SHOULD do it (generalising here, but it's worked well for me).

All but two of my relationships have been from cold approaches. The stuff works.

Why limit your pool of girlfriend/wife materials to a club/society/etc. Do that too, but do cold street approaches. It's a numbers game, stack the odds in your favour. It works.

Mooglenator · 2019-11-13T21:02:20+00:00

I use to get rejected a lot with "how many girls have you talked to today?" I learned how to reframe it though. I own up to it, but I say that's it's so I get to meet more people, and find the ones I want to get know better. And I genuinely mean it. How do you, or any other other girl, expect a guy to find you interesting, kind, loveable, and special if he never meets you in the first place? Cold approach is the first step in finding someone special, and it's especially useful in this modern era where the normal girl (or attractive guy) has a hundred options 1 click away. Cold approach is a quick and straightforward way to start forging a genuine connection with someone, in an era when genuine connections are rare. I hope this helps you see it from our perspective.

Side note: cold approach is a necessary tool for meeting girls as an introvert. I just don't have the social energy to have a large circle or lots of social hobbies. Without cold approach, my options would be few and far between.

blackberrydoughnuts · 2019-11-14T01:24:17+00:00

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seannyt1 · 2019-11-14T00:36:12+00:00

Wrong.

Nobody likes to get approached by the creepy guy.

I guarantee that if Brad Pitt or some guy you find to be super cool and has great vibes were to approach you, you'd be happy to chat.

FrankyCastiglione · 2019-11-13T20:54:02+00:00

99% of all the women I've EVER dated I met in a public place. Sure it's uncomfortable for both men and women, but it's how most people meet.

Aghayden · 2019-11-14T00:56:07+00:00

There are a few problems with this reasoning.

First, just because some women don't want to meet a guy in public doesn't mean they all don't. I've gone on many dates with girls who I met on the street and those dates have turned into everything from one-night stands to long-term relationships.

If women generally don't want to be approached in that way, why would it lead to such results?

Second, you're saying that the guy who approach you are only into you because of your looks. Well, if that's the impression you're getting than either the guys who approach you aren't doing a very good job at making a connection which means it's not being approached you don't like, it's the manner in which you're being approached.

Alternatively, it could mean you're making negative assumptions about the guys who approach you (that they're shallow), if that's the case, that's not something all women share.

It's interesting that people tend to have more of a problem with approaching people in public places while sober than at bars and clubs. At bars and clubs people are drunk and there's loud music that makes it hard to have a real conversation.

But that's a socially accepted way of meeting people so it's generally recommended.

Online dating, also, has some serious problems. On Tinder or Bumble you're purely basing whether someone is worth having a conversation with based on looking at their pictures for a second or two. That's rather objectifying. And then you're not having a real conversation, you're determining whether to meet someone based on text which is a pretty artificial level of communication.

Yet, online dating and bars are 'normal' so they get a pass. Meeting someone on the street is abnormal so it's considered rude and creepy.

PixelBot · 2019-11-14T02:02:48+00:00

Don't take women's advice on dating.

This post is 100% retarded.

PayneGreyWolf · 2019-11-14T05:43:36+00:00

"Not once, no matter how good-looking or smooth-talking the guy was, did I ever feel comfortable." = Personal problem

There are so many gorgeous girls around and I know I'm not prettier than all of them. So, when a guy approaches me, I don't feel special or pretty. I just feel like he probably has a lot of free time and even if I did give him any contact info, he would approach ten more girls on his way home." = That's your insecurity talking. What difference does it make how many women he approached that day? What business is it of yours? Once again, personal problem. Get over yourself, you aren't better than anyone else.

"Girls wanna feel smart, loveable, kind etc." = lol

"Get to know the girl at least a little bit, before you ask her out or start flirting. Compliment her personality, not just her looks. Make her feel like she's special to you." = lol

"And I kid you not, freaking Chris Hemsworth could approach me in public with a pick-up line and I would turn him down. Most girls would." = Lie

Takeaway: You're pessimistic, arrogant, insecure. A guy approaches you and your first thought is he just wants to fuck. You said "knowing that a guy is into you based solely on your looks is a huge turn-off", but obviously if you weren't somewhat attractive no one would give you the time of day. You speak as if you and your friends are representatives of all women, but birds of the same feather flock together so I can see the problem there clear as day. I've fucked many women off cold approach.

Also, it's pretty concerning that this thread is as high up as it is. I get it's controversial but it's barely constructive. Just a weak opinion piece.

2019-11-13T22:52:07+00:00

I have personally only done about 2 approaches in my life(outside of bar scene) and those were to girls who were giving me obvious signs. My way of 'seducing' girls has been of working on my social skills, my looks, style and confidence for a long time basically raising my value to where now I have no problem attracting girls when I meet them. But there is the problem, WHEN I meet them. At the moment I have a girl I'm seeing but there is times when I'm single that I barely talk to girls for a long time unless I go out to the bars with the lifestyle I'm living. I work at a place where 90 % are male and the few that aren't are much older than me or have a boyfriend, and my other hobbies are martial arts and working out, also male dominated. It feels kinda fake and pathetic to start a new hobby which I honestly have little to no interest in just to meet girls.
So basically what I'm trying to say is that yeah I see what you are saying but you have to understand the men who are approaching aswell.

manonpoint_com · 2019-11-13T23:39:21+00:00

Some truth to this, which is part of why I find indirect openers in day-game situations way more effective than bold "just go up to her" approaches. However, you're generalizing in a big way because many girls are quite receptive to random strangers they find attractive talking to them out of the blue.

Alphaojo · 2019-11-13T23:43:35+00:00

To be honest, it sounds like you’re already got a guy you’re pining on or already fucking so don’t blow it for the rest of the women out there who are single and wish a guy would approach them.

chelssayye · 2019-11-14T09:09:51+00:00

FFS

As a woman that existed when courtship before the internet was thing, PLEASE approach me in real life and compliment or hit on me.

IF I like what I see/hear then contact information can be shared ( phone # or give them a social media handle, or text app #)

IF I DO NOT APPROVE of your, “advance” or, “pass” I’ll ignore you, or simply say, “thank you.”; and walk away.

2019-11-13T20:48:51+00:00

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ChrisDarmount · 2019-11-13T23:27:47+00:00

It’s scary how many upvotes this post got.

Isn’t this subreddit the continuation of the old-school FastSeduction.com?

Formhandle would be rolling in his grave

...OK he’s probably still alive and married and has four kids in Tulsa but whatever

ZlatanAgrees · 2019-11-14T01:56:51+00:00

Lmao, I’ve met every single one of my girlfriends approaching them in public or them approaching me.

indridcold91 · 2019-11-14T03:16:16+00:00

Don't take a trout's advice on how to fish

panda_anda · 2019-11-14T04:34:21+00:00

So I (F) was approached in public this past weekend. But he wasn't creepy or scary. He also didn't immediately ask for my number or start in with the compliments. We met at the dog park. We arrived at the same time and had to walk to same path and were chatting about our dogs. No compliments or weirdness. After 10 minutes his dog wouldn't leave me alone and he said "you've got good taste buddy". It made me smile and was not too overt. After 20 minutes of chatting, he asked if I wanted to get coffee sometime and I gave him my number. My real number not my fake dating number. We went out to dinner that night. It was really nice. If he immediately just walked up and asked for the digits, I would have declined and maybe left the dog park early.

Don't be creepy. Figure out some shared interests. You won't maximize yourself with abundance or whatever, but maybe you can meet someone who you find attractive and share some things in common. We've hung out 3 times since Saturday.

MountainClimax · 2019-11-14T05:34:53+00:00

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loveopenly · 2019-11-14T06:11:52+00:00

Women don't like to be approached in public

False over generalized statement

Getting approached in public by a stranger is just not a good situation to meet someone in.

False. Everyone is a stranger before you meet them. There is no good or bad situation to meet someone. If there was, teaching people how to meet would be really easy. People meet in the unlikeliest of situations all the time, and just as much fail to meet in the 'socially acceptable' ways.

It's false thinking to believe that a bar is different to the street. It's not the situation that matters, but the context. Men in this group know that 'being in the right place at the right time' is something that can be engineered (with some luck). To a woman it looks like a chance event, but the man who worked hard on himself knows differently.

Finally, all this applies to women just as much. I've taught women to approach men and it's an eye opener for them when they realise that they don't have to rely on hope. But it's hard work. It takes time and effort and consistency. I personally believe that if women learned how to approach they would be happier and more understanding of 'creepy' men, and would have more chance of meeting men that they want to be around. It's not gender specific all this.

For example: https://youtu.be/7Dp4PusQmHM

And: https://youtu.be/o7WTO98VWo4

2019-11-14T01:46:04+00:00

TL;DR I think your advice is busted. To us, you're filtering out the one-off's who didn't approach you the right way for your personality. If a man approaches you and talks to you in a way that you like, then of course you would like it. When you reject a man cold approaching, you're effectively swiping left IRL like the good old days.

Whenever a man approaches you, he has decided to make himself vulnerable to you. Out of all the women walking around, he chose to approach you because he saw something in you that he liked. He's looking for someone to connect to, not solely looking to fuck. You are special, in some way, to that guy. If you're both out in public then you're both using up your free time. Why do you assume that he has lots of free time? Maybe this is his only day off, you have no idea of knowing that. There's of course going to be a fuckboy that will talk to N women that he finds attractive in a public space, but it's not the norm. I'd expect it from someone new to game, though.
It may not be even what you look like, you might've said or did something that peaked our interest. Yeah, I will see your looks and think, "Hmm, she's actually kinda cute!" But I'm not into you unless I feel our personalities click which will happen sometime between the first approach to the first or second date. It's really not just your looks. I'm looking for traction. Otherwise, I will bounce because trying to connect with someone who obviously doesn't mesh with my personality is so draining and not worth either of our time.

Since friend groups have comparable personalities and interests, you are in a bubble who are likely to agree with you and you will suffer from confirmation bias. There's women who I've met that have both expressed like and dislike of men cold approaching, which is evidence to the contrary about what you and your friends believe all women feel about cold approaching.

Most of my hobbies are bone-dry of women. Guess I should just off myself from loneliness. Even still, am I supposed to talk up every girl in the hobby groups on meetup? What if I like the local cake decorating club? Should I try landing the nice lady twice my age? Weird... And the woman I'm seeing now totally isn't into any of those things. If I didn't meet her through a friend, then *probably* the only other way I could've found her is by a random cold approach.

Your advice is totally busted, but what you've said is not in vain because it helps generate conversation and lays out an understanding between both parties.

LethalShade · 2019-11-14T02:07:30+00:00

Are most guys really fucking terrible at cold approach? I mean I respect your opinions but I'm not even great at Game and I get mostly good reactions from cold approach in public and have gotten loads of numbers/social medias and a few dates out of it.

I'm gonna have to say don't listen to her on this one boys.

blockfuture · 2019-11-14T02:23:30+00:00

This may be true for a certain demographic. It could even be an introverts POV, but that could be very wrong. I don't think its a good idea to project opinions on the 'why' someone would approach someone else in any situation. Having preset ideas is only going to stop you from finding out for real what the other person feels/thinks.

2019-11-14T03:28:50+00:00

Strange I always get girls encouraging me and quite a lot of them say that theyve never had someone approach them like this before. I get the opposite reaction when I go to a bar though.

I know this has been said times and times again but really, do join a club, start doing a sport.

I really dont like this. I tried this for a long time doing french and cooking classes and all the classes were generally full of retirees. There was one class with a girl around my age and she was learning french to surprise her boyfriend. Its limiting yourself to such a tiny pool or people you are just not going to get results. Lets say you are lucky and get on a mixed sport team (chances of finding a team looking for strangers and strange men is like similar to winning the lottery) you will probably have access to 5 girls, chances of any of them being in a position or want to date you is quite slim.

Getting to know someone first just doesnt work as there is zero guarantee you will ever see them again. I have tried to play the slow game with a few girls over the years at the gym or if I see them going for a run in the same place or time as me. Every time id see them maybe 2-3 times and then never see them again.

PuroPincheGains · 2019-11-14T04:34:43+00:00

You want people to like you for your personality, but you don't walk around with a list of intrinsic characteristics for people to judge. You have the wrong idea. When people approach, they want to know those personality traits you're so proud of. That's the whole point. How should someone know that if they didn't talk to you? That's the point of cold approaching. You will never EVER get to know that girl if you watch her walk away forever, but you MIGHT if you just walk up and say hi. Nobody has determined that they like you when they've approached you. Sure it means they think your attractive, but that's just one necessary aspect out of many. The only people who know you like you say you want to be known are your friends, and you aren't dying to date them are you? This is why guys don't take dating advice from women. What you describe is not consistent with reality. That's understandable, because unlike some of the guys who teach this stuff, you haven't put hours into observing the phenomenon of courtship and you haven't tested to see what works and what doesn't. What you say is not consistent with real world experience. What you've said is, "I don't like being approached so don't approach. Also don't flirt with people you don't know." Bottom line is, that's silly. None of the happy couples who met in a coffee shop, bookstore, bar, or even Tinder would exist if everyone conformed to the ideas you're expressing. You don't have to enjoy being approached, and you don't have to give anyone the time of day if you do get approached, but you're straight up wrong about the topic at hand. People will not put your personal preferences in front of their relationship success.

AntiSjwHero · 2019-11-14T06:37:48+00:00

Or basically what she's saying in so many words

A) Use tinder like everyone else

B) Be rich

C) that's it problem solved

SLAYdgeRIDER · 2019-11-14T07:52:44+00:00

This is actually true because I've spoken to several girls/women and they've said the exact same thing. Not all women liked to be approached in public and get hit on.

Railionn · 2019-11-14T12:24:09+00:00

Load of bullcrap.

bearstrippercarboat · 2019-11-14T03:01:06+00:00

This is a you problem. you dont like this approach. I've had plenty of success with cold approaches as a stranger. Those girls are ok with it.

This is just an opinion piece

Novatonavila · 2019-11-13T23:01:49+00:00

You kind of sound like me but I am a guy. But not everybody is like me. I know people that like to know new people don't matter where they are. They can talk to anyone at anytime. I guess it depends on the girl (and the guy). I know that a lot of guys would love to be approached by girls and sometimes I wish I was. But when I was actually approached by a girl I felt unconfortable and hoped she would go alway. Some people are more introverted.

ProFriendZoner · 2019-11-14T04:26:41+00:00

Well they don't like being approached in their own homes either so something has to give.

The better looking you are the less bothered they are by your approach.

2019-11-14T15:12:34+00:00

Thanks ! Saved you post .

Insaneflirt_max · 2019-11-14T01:30:13+00:00

So, this is the state of this sub now?

That kind of post gets to hot?

Ryden7 · 2019-11-14T02:35:00+00:00

Don't ask a fish how to catch a fish

2019-11-14T02:45:36+00:00

Some women are into being approached. Some aren't. Guess how you find out which is which?

MrDownhillRacer · 2019-11-13T23:50:11+00:00

I call bullshit on the 2nd point you are trying to make. Women absolutely want to feel pretty in fact nothing turns a woman on more than feeling desirable.

2019-11-14T02:49:22+00:00

The face to face public approach is the staple of human existence. Where else could a man meet a woman without communications technology? In public! Cold approach has been existence since the beginning of humanity. It used to be the only way.

I'd have to disagree with this post. I've approached ~2500 women in the past year and a half and the majority have been pleasant experiences. Back in the late 1970's my dad cold approached my mom at school and here I am.

MaaChiil · 2019-11-14T03:21:48+00:00

That’s good to hear. I myself have found myself in situations where I approached a woman where they seemed very cold or passive towards me, but thinking back, maybe they thought I was hitting on them...

2019-11-14T04:54:12+00:00

I’m pretty sure I’m at fault but ok

billgrimes5 · 2019-11-14T06:59:33+00:00

@ahanahax Thank you for posting this. I think this is a conversation that needs to be had. Definitely your situation is the exception rather than the rule. And truthfully, a lot of it has to do with not if someone expresses interest in public but HOW. You may not be receptive to someone hitting on you in public. Fair statement. But are you opposed to someone making you laugh in public? Probably not, sounds silly right. Who feels uncomfortable laughing in public? I really like your post though because it gives insight into different ways humans can engage in communication which could be more effective in some ways than others. Someone would have more success making you laugh in public and giving you rush of good emotions and initiate contact that way, rather than showing they are hitting on you. In fact my wife scolds me when I joke with cashiers, waitresses, people at the store because she sees that good positive vibe and it’s is so palpable it can be felt, and then she sees the girl laugh, and thinks I’m flirting (but I’m a faithful husband and I’m content with what I have)- had I not been retired from pickup, I would use that positive energy to continue the conversation, and keep the comfortable positive energy flowing.

blizzard_youaintme · 2019-11-14T07:14:06+00:00

chris hemsworth??

I call bullshit on this haha

outtaideas4aname · 2019-11-14T08:28:12+00:00

i totally understand and agree with the OP here, but i also know where the difference in opinion is coming from. I live and work in europe now but did my bachelors in the United States and i must say, the mentality is really different out here in europe compared to when i was in the US, the girls in the US generally were more open-minded to striking up a convo with a stranger even if they weren't interested and in the event that they weren't interested they'd politely turn u down, but out here in europe it's different, generally girls don't wanna to talk to someone outside of their "social circle", it's not them being rude, it's just a culture thing out here i guess, eventhough there are exceptions, i've met girls out here who were totally open to me when i approached them in a public place, but i also think it depends on alot of factors, like if you're not intruding or seem to be stalking her. i actually never ask for a number, i rather give mine, and 6 out 10 actually contact me

30dirtyfingers · 2019-11-14T10:53:24+00:00

Maybe its not, but it seems that there are women to are open to it, so its good for them. If your not open to it, its not good for you. Most men are not interested in women who are so afraid of men that someone walking up to and talking to u is an extinction level event.

Eezay · 2019-11-14T11:55:38+00:00

Ah shit here we go again... let's break this down...

1) Your post is anecdotal. Also you are virtue-signalling and your dating advice is shit. No hard feelings.

2) Ofc the first moments are cringe, it's normal. People need to calibrate themselves in social conversation. And it's also this way, albeit less intense, if you approach someone in a club or bar. It just takes away some of the awkwardness. Of course you are going to be a little uncomfortable at first - the question is whether there is chemistry and comfort to replace the cringieness.

I honestly wonder why shit like this is getting upvoted here. You contributed nothing to this sub with that post. In contrary, this is exactly the type of shit that we DON'T need.

Get to know the girl at least a little bit, before you ask her out or start flirting.

Sorry to break it to you, but you are out of touch with reality.

Make her feel like she's special to you.

It's funny because this is the kind of trash dating advice that guys get from their mothers and female friends and they come to this subreddit to get some realistic, quality input, but all I see on this sub lately is shit like this.

The rules are obviously a bit different in a bar or something.

Except they are not. Again, you don't know anything about seduction.

Nor did I ever even considered giving the guy any contact information.

This is 100% anecdotal. Myself and friends of mine with good game have gotten numbers in many different public settings. It's easier in nightclubs, but that doesn't mean it won't work anywhere else.

creamyturtle · 2019-11-14T12:34:50+00:00

bitches love attention

salutcemoi · 2019-11-14T12:51:36+00:00

I’ve successfully approached a lot of gorgeous women in public

So I’m gonna have to disagree

TheGreatConst · 2019-11-14T13:39:43+00:00

You should rename your post to "SOME women don't like to be approached". I would say that most women would like to be approached by someone attractive, but wouldn't if it is someone unattractive. Those who are, like you, don't like being approached no matter what definitely exist, but they are the minority. Even if only about 10-20% of girls are glad to be approached - it is worth it. Because why would you care about the opinion of someone who isn't into you compared to someone who IS into you? Even if you will creep out 10-20% of girls - it doesn't matter if another 10-20% of girls would like you a lot. If the same guy doing the same thing is considered a "creep" by one girl and "most amazing guy in my life" by another girl - then the problem isn't a guy, but A GIRL. Maybe it is YOU who should change your view and to have some respect for people who have the courage to put themselves into the vulnerable position of being potentially rejected? Even with girls like you - approaching strangers is still way more effective than online dating in which it is 100% about your looks and photos (check my post about statistics). You are telling us to stop using something that gives real results just because you don't like it, lol. There wouldn't be any guys doing cold approach if it didn't lead to real results, i.e. girls liking you, going on dates with you and having sex with you.

I would even argue that even with you most guys would have a much higher chance by doing cold approach than by "swiping" on you online. Because online it is literally zero, but in real-life something unexpected can happen, like you being in a good mood, horny, or him being just way too charming.

bluedrygrass · 2019-11-14T14:06:54+00:00

Another girl with her personal spin of "i'm not like the other girls i swear". Classic.

Some parts are pure comedic gems:

"Girls don't actually just wanna feel pretty." Lmao

"And I kid you not, freaking Chris Hemsworth could approach me in public with a pick-up line and I would turn him down. Most girls would."

Hahaha this is absolute gold and probably the best example you'll see about why you shouldn't even take in consideration dating advices from females

2019-11-14T14:40:21+00:00

The mods need to stop letting women post their bad advice here.

LoneStarG84 · 2019-11-14T14:44:05+00:00

To the people who are saying I wouldn’t turn down Chris Hemsworth - I wouldn’t turn him down but I would turn down someone who just looks like him lol. The point is, it’s not all about being handsome and tall like some people think.

Theeeere it is.

matcha_cheesecake · 2019-11-14T17:03:20+00:00

Why is this upvoted so much?
So don't approach in public?

So all the advice this subreddit keeps on saying such as: defeating approach anxiety, having courage to approach a woman, and ESSENTIALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT PICKUP is all bullshit?

This post basically is saying seduction/pickup is bs yet its the most upvoted post today. I don't get you people.

scarrax · 2019-11-14T21:09:40+00:00

The rules are obviously a bit different in a bar or something. But when it comes to the street or a mall or whatever, most of the things I read here are not a good way to meet anyone.

This is the part that's missed on most guys. Approaching a girl you don't know at a public venue or event such as a bar, concert, nightclub, party, all inclusive resort, etc. is in most cases more socially acceptable and even expected: women are often more open to being approached. I've always found that approaching in these situations where different rules

Of course that isn't to say there are exceptions to the rule of doing "approaches" in public, there's a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it, 99.9% of the time guys do it wrong. There are sometimes opportunities where there's a room for a little nuance, but these opportunities are often the exception not the norm, most guys wouldn't see them if they hit them in the face. Of course they're told to "create" the opportunity, but again that requires a very good eye for nuance that doesn't occur in 100% of situations, and again most guys are not taught that skill at all. It can be done but it's one of those things that you can't force, it just has to kind of happen organically.

PraviBosniak · 2019-11-15T00:50:16+00:00

This frigid woman (sounds harsh but her comment makes it seem that way) is projecting her insecurities about being on the recieving end of cold approach the same way a shy man projects his hatred of it because he can't make a cold approach. I think if certain men and woman grew up a little and realized that there is nothing awkward or strange about it society in large would look at spontanous relationships in a more mature way.

bikitizd0g · 2019-11-25T16:07:09+00:00

I am not sure you still read this thread but this thread did give me a lot of comfort. I thought there was something wrong with me when I was rejected when I asked women out and got rejected

AliCandyBar · 2019-11-14T01:56:14+00:00

I completely agree with you, seeing comments and posts from dudes talking about how many people they approach cold-call every day makes me honestly super worried. I know if I were one of those women I’d stone-wall them, that’s just...so creepy imo.

Standing in line, waiting at the bus, sure those may seem like good times to pipe up but more often than not I’m not interested in talking to a stranger, and I feel held hostage cuz I still need to get to point B, and if I don’t continue the conversation they may turn hostile.

JuelzyT · 2019-11-14T02:49:51+00:00

Oh my God! Please don't let this woman's insecure and pessimistic ways stop you from doing what humans are supposed to naturally do. She clearly has insecurity issues and views the world from a very small and skewed narrow-minded point of view. I haven't seen such nonsense get upvoted like this in sometime. This is a terrible post!

True, you don't approach a woman if she has on headphones, or preoccupied doing something that you know she clearly doesn't want to be interrupted; but women love a confident man that will approach them in person. I'm 37 years old, and I go on online dates and they always say that they wish more men would approach them while out and about and not just getting dates online.

I am successful at approaching women in a a non creepy or threatening way. Most of the time I have got their numbers and we've gone out on very fun dates.

2019-11-13T22:48:40+00:00

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anonymous478569 · 2019-11-13T23:03:43+00:00

Just wanted to point out the obvious.. men and women think completely different. We communicate differently. This is why women suck at giving dating advice for men. Because you are unclear. And very "complicated".

And no, women dont want to feel special. Explain threesomes if that is the case and why some women, especially in LA, will only have threesomes with one or more girls. Oh and of course it will only be with blue checkmark instagrammers. I guess thats what is so special maybe. Fuck knows. But this was useless. We all know that women who want marrige and kids and pretty much kill a mans spirit want to feel special, because they suck.

quinnmcd · 2019-11-13T20:20:16+00:00

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2019-11-14T01:54:41+00:00

Question OP, what if a guy approached you and introduced himself and simply handed you his contact info and moved on, basically leaving the ball in your court, would that be better at least?

Ho_KoganV1 · 2019-11-14T02:25:35+00:00

Hmm yeah, I can see where you're coming from but the fact that men don't know what women are thinking goes well with this that some women don't know what men are thinking.

I would rather have you let you have this opinion rather than trying to break down on what's wrong with your subjective experience on being approached, because you do have the right to your own personal experience.

But from my experience, the women that I approach just love it. Of course, not everyone is going to fall head over heels, but for the most part, 7/10 girls will have get their day made better just by me talking to them for 5 mins.

1/10 girls will actually go out on date and the other 2/10 girls will be annoyed and I just wish them a good day.

I do believe that you don't like being approached, but I think that's because 9/10 guys just suck.

Schadenfreudood · 2019-11-14T03:12:09+00:00

You've got to corner and trap them first. With your arms wide open and hunched over

passionlessDrone · 2019-11-14T03:30:36+00:00

Hi OP -

Thanks for your thoughts. For the record, I think some of the responses I’ve seen to you are poorly worded, or just shitty. If this community becomes a place where a woman’s thoughts are immediately discarded as useless, I’m not what the people coming here are searching for.

That being said, it’s weird as there seems to be a discrepancy in what you describe, and what is often spoken as gospel here:

OP: I get approached all the time. It will never work.

Gospel: If you approach a woman, you are ahead of the 99% of dudes too frightened to approach. Girls like confidence.

Quite the paradox. And yet, my experiences tell me it can be quite different from woman to woman. My friend, Flaky Lawyer has been asked out cold a few times, and she’s cute enough. I knew her from work, barely, and asked we out and got her number. Another friend, Workout Buddy 10.0, was barely ever cold approached, despite being objectively magnitudes of order hotter than Flaky Lawyer. (I asked her out, but again, after knowing her briefly).

I successfully approached tow women on a sidewalk and convinced them to crash a party with me that I was not technically even invited to. We partied through the week, but ultimately I failed to seduce the one I was interested in. But they were clearly not creeped out per se.

Maybe it can be creepier than than the population here thinks, maybe there is a little more variation than you think. Food for thought.

dragonrose88 · 2019-11-14T03:53:48+00:00

Ok I feel like it depends on the context of meeting in person though. If you're making small talk and then something happens, it's different if some dude just walks up and tries to hit on you.

VisiblePlan · 2019-11-14T05:10:07+00:00

depends on how you approach.

_fatcheetah · 2019-11-14T05:44:07+00:00

Some.

ahanahax · 2019-11-14T05:48:15+00:00

Say that to the girls I make out with right after I meet them in the street

rappingwhiteguys · 2019-11-14T06:47:24+00:00

I met a few friends of mine in the street, but I didn't hit on them, I just commented on like stuff they were doing and struck up a conversation. Like I saw a girl carrying a cactus down the street, going the same way as me, and struck up a convo about the cactus. We still hang. The only time I slept with a girls I met in straight public places we always talked about other stuff first, and they always hit on me first.

Most girls 100% are on the same page as you. One of my friends I met in the street regularly works in the street doing art + henna, so she's more used to random public convos. She's not normal. I think you're right, but I do stuff

_PEN15 · 2019-11-14T06:50:22+00:00

Good cause I don't. But sure feels like they want me to sometimes.

att90177 · 2019-11-14T06:58:53+00:00

These 2 reasons given contradicted each other. U knew u r not prettier than some of them but when some guy approached u directly assumed is because of your look?

PoetAlcoholic · 2019-11-14T07:39:22+00:00

The issue here is she thinks her thoughts with the thoughts of the majority. Some women cannot be approched and get a good response. But it's not all or even most. A good idea for u kiddes afraid of the word no is eye contact. Make eye contact with a girl and if she holds it and smiles, or looks down quickly but then snaps her eyes back a second later, then you can probably approach. It's usually a sign of interest. Don't be discouraged by this post, most women might be awkward as first, but don't let awkwardness ruin your good time.

Kinopua · 2019-11-14T08:07:09+00:00

You cannot speak for other women, this is simply your opinion, every person is different and has different preferences of what they like and don't like

The fact that your friends agree with you is because we as humans tend to naturally make friends with like minded people, which results in most of your friends agreeing with a lot of your opinions.

Wether or not a girl likes to be approached in public all comes down to a few factors, main ones being are 1) her preferences 2) how the guy executes his approach

I have met many women who I've approached in public who tell me they love it and we're actually anticipating for me to approach them or didn't mind it at all, and some don't like it but to say "women just don't like to be approached in public" is just naive.

lovesprite · 2019-11-14T09:09:43+00:00

It reminds me of a guy standing at the train station saying "coffee...coffee..?" To random girls walking out of the station. Initially I thought he was a salesman or something. I later realized he was actually trying to pick up girls lol.

AtariGamer83 · 2019-11-14T09:14:25+00:00

I met several girlfriends through cold approach, so your wrong.

This is why men should never take the advice of women, they dont know what they want.

DeathRebirth · 2019-11-14T10:02:34+00:00

I'm curious, what activities,clubs,hobbies do you participate in where people could meet you "naturally"? I agree with your basic statement, but to be honest a lot of "pretty" girls I've known, don't participate in a lot outside their daily routine and meeting friends for drinks,clubbing,whatever social event. Naturally not all of them, I've known a few who were very outgoing.

misterluca99 · 2019-11-14T10:20:28+00:00

I’m a good looking guy and get approached by women regularly and it doesn’t bother me. Even if I don’t find them attractive it’s still flattering. I think women only don’t like being approached by men they find unattractive. I’m guessing your standards are too high and.

akrolina · 2019-11-14T11:51:43+00:00

I met my husband when he just talked with me in a public smoking area. I refused to give him my contacts cause I did not trust him, but he came back after couple of minutes and showed his work id to prove that he works in the bank and is a "normal guy". I gave him my contacts after that. So yes, if you want to hit on someone in public better prepare that they won't trust you at first.

2019-11-14T12:17:38+00:00

I think men do realise this - and therefore either fake or kindle a genuine personal connection. If I find a girl pretty and am curious if her personality is just as attractive I attempt to sherlock holmes some clues as to her interests and if one happens to align see if that initiates something. For this reason I declare all women should wear obscure t-shirts that only true fans would understand and shave 4 dates off the courtship.

Tokemoke · 2019-11-14T13:54:37+00:00

Ok so you are speaking only from your EXTREMELY limited perspective and experience. Fact of the matter is I have approached many girls and while I have been rejected a lot I have also had some success.

I don’t really expect you to understand what I am about to explain because as different genders we inherently face different challenges in the dating game.

As a man who has been shy and awkward for most of his life and had horrible luck with dating and women just up until recent. Men are expected to know everything in terms of how to approach, attract and keep the woman’s attention and you probably don’t realize how truly difficult that can be. We all want love and companionship, how else are you supposed to improve talking to women and finding a good partner in life? Social circle? Serendipity? Some cheesy Disney-esque scenario? That’s bullshit and not how a man should live his life. At least not how I am willing to live my life.

As a woman you are basically just expected to look attractive and....not be crazy? The bar is a lot lower for you to meet guys and get dates. In the political climate we live in now, we will actually be SHAMED for actively trying to improve ourselves in this area. The odds are stacked against us.

Approaching women has changed my life for the better and I am far more outgoing and assertive because of it. Your wall of text is not only irrelevant but does NOTHING to enrich knowledge about dating. You are basically just saying all men are predators, don’t talk to me, #metoo.

My guess is you probably haven’t had many relationships with men, you are definitely single and probably still are somewhat awkward.

whatagainst · 2019-11-14T14:03:11+00:00

To sum this up:

Never take dating advice from a woman.

Tropics_317 · 2019-11-14T14:08:20+00:00

If the guy has game and knows what he’s doing then shit he could probably try his chances with any girl in any situation.

If he had poor social skills though he’s fucked

donaldtrumpsmistress · 2019-11-14T14:12:00+00:00

Eh, everyone is different and yes maybe about half the girls I've approached seem generally uncomfortable with being approached in public by someone they don't know. Which is totally fine, the key here is enough awareness to know when she feels like that and just fuck off. But a solid handful did either say I made her day/week/month, wishes more guys would do that etc, and have gone on dates and even gotten in relationships with random women I've approached in public. So I don't regret that at all.

But you do make an important point: a lot of girls are just going to be offput no matter how good the approach or how many hours you put in the gym and perfecting your style, so no need beating yourself up over it and taking it personally. And definitely don't take it out on the girl either.

Alex_O7 · 2019-11-14T14:14:39+00:00

Hey a fellow European here, and i think you make the point here:

Maybe in the US/western Europe it’s different .

That's all that matters. I noticed it while travelling, there are some place where people are more open, and these are not the most part of Europe.

For the other things that you have pointed out i've mixed feelings. You something correct in "theory" but also some things are a bit bullshit. I'm personally not that into day-game for some of the reason that you said, but i would recognize that also day-game is a usefull (or let's say convenient) way to meet a girl. As moderator showed in the first comment to this post...

mottsman87 · 2019-11-14T14:53:14+00:00

I call bullshit on the Chris Hemsworth part. You'd probobly bang him in the bathroom if he asked.

DajuanKev · 2019-11-14T15:01:29+00:00

As a dude, I probably won't see that women again I managed to see at that right place and excellent time. She could be a tourist, etc. I would need to be positive and ultimately take the risk.

Also, appreciate how royal most women have it. If you were expected to approach, you would see how overwhelming it can be to process.

Great empathy by the way.

The_Jukabo · 2019-11-14T15:43:21+00:00

Don’t take advice from a girl, they don’t know what they want

ArmitageShanks69 · 2019-11-14T16:12:16+00:00

From the horse's mouth... Take heed all you budding Owen Cooks and Erik Von Markoviks.

theselfreliantman · 2019-11-14T16:47:47+00:00

This brings up a super interesting point(s)

There are plenty of women who NO MATTER WHAT will NEVER meet a guy during the day on a traditional 'approach'. Facts of life gents, just like there are some women that would never go home with a guy from a bar they just met.
This doesn't mean you should stop approaching girls you like. Similar concept to the above point, just because there are plenty of women out there who wouldn't have a one night stand at a bar does NOT mean you should stop going to bars if thats what you're looking for.

So yes, no doubt the poster and her friends could never be 'picked up' no matter your skills. However, there are plenty out there that are open to those kinds of approaches. And (though she may not realize it) there are plenty of women out there WISHING they got approached by an attractive stranger.

How do i know this?

Some of the most beautiful relationships and/or short intimate interactions I've had with women have come from direct approaches during the daytime. And they've always thanked me for taking the risk of meeting them.

I would hate to see men get discouraged because of strong opinions from a percentage of women who (completely rightfully) don't want to be approached. Both yourself (and the women who WANT to meet a great new guy) would be disappointed.

My biggest wish for this community is that we stop arguing and boiling seduction down to a science and political issue. It's not gents (and lady commenters). When done properly, it can be pure romance and human connection. Which is why we are all on this spinning rock in the first place. Do your best to keep the beauty and romance of what these interactions CAN be in your minds. Only then can you really 'approach' well and start something incredible with that human being who's very sight made your pulse quicken.

ImmodestPolitician · 2019-11-14T17:54:29+00:00

"knowing that a guy is into you based solely on your looks is a huge turn-off."

Swipe apps are 99% based on how you look. Even in social circle few guys are going to ignore looks in their decision to try and sleep with you.

Leionart · 2019-11-14T18:18:08+00:00

I would bet my entire net worth that the guy who follows the opposite of what this post is saying will have a much more successful dating life than the guy who does

jikol1906 · 2019-11-15T11:22:05+00:00

Wrong. I have gotten plenty of dates from daytime approaching.

2019-11-15T17:08:43+00:00

I feel like this is your personal subjective experience. I’ve met, bedded, and dated women I’ve met casually in public and they have all appreciated me coming up to them, and having the courage to at the very least introduce myself and express my interest.

Obviously having an introduction is a much more solid approach, but you can’t always have perfection in life.

Had I listened to your advice as a young virgin, I would have missed out on dating some of the most beautiful women I’ve met in my life, and would have been confided to dating some below average girl off off tinder.

Just for example, my current girlfriend is considered “hot” by my friends and generally anyone I’ve shown her pic to. She is fairly introverted though, and doesn’t do much outside of work and meeting friends here and there. She gets approached 2/3 times a week. She said she hates it, yet here she is with me, a guy who approached her as she was working.

The point is most girls are open to meeting the right guy in public, if it’s done smoothly and he’s calibrated enough. Like always, this post lacks nuance.

Edit: Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time a girl said me and my friends think and feel this way, and therefore this is how it is, I would have like 20 bucks. Girl, you likely surround yourself with like minded girls, that’s why you feel the way you do, and why you conform your opinions to those around you.

Edit 2: you said that it hasn’t worked for a lot of the commenters. That’s because most guys that try this quit before seeing any results. Yes, just meeting someone in public and actually bedding them works 1/15 to 1/20 times statistically. But when it does, it is so worth the effort.

Edit 3: I don’t like this advice of just join a club or an activity. Often times, you join and the girls come with their partners, or there just isn’t a wide variety of girls you find attractive. Let’s say there are and you ask one out. She inevitably talks to the others, and you end up looking weird if you try to make a move on the others. Yes, in general it’s a good idea to have an interesting life with hobbies, but it’s not an optimal dating strategy by any means.

tiddu · 2019-11-16T07:10:21+00:00

Someone should create /r/seductiontipsfromgirls

stonecold199 · 2019-11-22T12:00:25+00:00

Shit thread lmaoo

stonecold199 · 2019-11-22T12:06:57+00:00

Also I've been cold approached , so I guess you could go and give the same advice to those women lmao. Honestly I wouldn't want to date an awkward girl who can't hold a proper conversation in public and suspected every second person as nefarious.

DaneSlayerX · 2019-11-27T06:33:57+00:00

Lol stupid

self_journey · 2019-11-14T00:39:23+00:00

Prepare to be downvoted or having the incels come out against you. I think your post offers a good form of constructive debate which this subreddit needs.

Can I ask, are you in a committed relationship? Because if so then you are not in the subset of women guys are looking for doing these cold approaches. That's why so many men here have to drill into their heads to deal with rejections, so they can move on until they find a girl that is free and is looking, which then puts cold approaching in the same exact category as online dating. Both cold approaching and online dating are based entirely on physical looks, like you said, whereby the guy has no idea how the girl is but wants to get to know them better.

I know it probably sucks for you the idea of getting approached by thirsty guys, but as long as the guy is respectful what harm is there? It could be treated by you as like a homeless person asking for change or a Jesus-freak trying to sell you the gospel. And even then it could be treated by you as complimentary as the guy thinks your pretty and wants to put himself out there to get to know you.

I get where you're coming from but cold approaching, to me, still seems like a good exercise to get guys out of their comfort zones to meet women, and as long as they aren't creeps or toolbags, it's a win-win situation as all you need to do is politely reject them while thinking about how this random guy came up to tell you how cute you looked in your outfit today.

Gilgamesh8 · 2019-11-14T04:46:05+00:00

This woman said she would reject Thor?! Ha! Women are such liars when it comes to dating and sexuality.

Colencence · 2019-11-14T02:48:29+00:00

I believe you, Guys keep in mind that she is projecting her opinion this is in a womans' point of view. What do you think is the reason why 8 out 10 woman will blow you out? It's because getting approached by a stranger is frightening to a lot of them. :)

setsuna0 · 2019-11-14T03:03:00+00:00

Captain America could approach you and you'd turn him down? You're either a lie or stupid

As a guy I myself have been approached before. And it never made me uncomfortable. At the very least I'm flattered they took a liking and was brave enough to express that. It's rare so I guess that's why it's not an annoyance.

Do women really not like irl approaches? I feel like with online dating it's becoming less.

2019-11-14T02:41:04+00:00

As a guy myself, I would get annoyed if some girl is hitting on me in public because you're not expecting the unexpected, therefore you feel discomfort and it makes the situation awkward. It's not just girls its anyone actually!

Dedoria · 2019-11-14T10:10:00+00:00

OP is telling guys to join a club exclusively if they want a relationship while she goes back to her 100 tinder matches a day.

toonces_br · 2019-11-14T10:28:48+00:00

Imagine listening to advice from women lol

rereb3825 · 2019-11-14T13:53:13+00:00

This is incredible. It’s like you took all the thoughts right from my brain! What a great way to explain this. It’s not you, it’s just a shorty situation. Find a better way.

spawnend · 2019-11-14T03:31:49+00:00

Ok boomer

user20180620 · 2019-11-14T03:51:02+00:00

I noticed cold approach works better when both parts are very young, I mean teens / early twenties because at that age people are more receptive to love and sex, it's just the way nature works, I bet my PUA ID that OP is older than 25.

Cold approach is not only about knowing girls, it's about building confidence and the skills you use all the time at pickup. If there it's something ALL WOMEN love is a man who knows how to behave under any circumstances and cold approaches are a great way to put yourself in any kind of unexpected situations, some of them not nice, but you build your cool that way.

Let me tell you about my last cold approach: I just boarded a public transport when I saw this sexy 19yo Fia, you know the type, big smile, small clothes and always moving like dancing, she was accompanied by an older woman at the very front of the bus, I was just admiring her in the distance when she glanced back at me, I kept eye contact and smiled, she smiled back. I acted like I wanted to say something but couldn't because she was too far and she reacted intrigued and make a face like 'what are you saying?', I decided to act and waved my hand in my direction, asking her to come, she laughed and shook her head, I insisted, not in a needy way but like I knew something that she wanted to know (my mindset was always like she was gaining by knowing me and not the other way). I think it was curiosity about what was the important thing I wanted to say but she finally came in. I smiled and started a conversation like we knew each other from a long time ago. I didn't even ask her name, she got a bit bummed and finally noticed everybody in the bus was watching us and came back with the other woman. I reacted surprised like it was impossible that this could happen to me, and call her again, she smiled but shook her head again, this time definitively. I shrugged my shoulders and continued my trip like nothing happened.

The interaction would have ended there but then some street vendors boarded the bus and started selling candy, the big ones that usually come in boxes as a gift. I saw my opportunity and bought 3 candies, one for me and two for the women, gave a tip to the vendor to deliver the candies and hid my number in the one for her. She laughed with the gift but when she realized what I just did, I swear her panties almost drop in the middle of the bus. She went from amused to intrigued, from intrigued to bummed and then I rocked her world without sweating in a few minutes.

Fortunately, my stop was near and went down right after giving her the candy, I even walked at a bench in the bus stop, at the same level where the girl was, just to watch her again, I waved goodbye to both women (IDK if the older woman was impressed too or wanted to pull up my balls and make me to swallow them) and waited for the bus to leave.

All of these would never have happened if I didn't cold approached, not only that time but all the times I did it before.

Maggost · 2019-11-14T10:39:53+00:00

My upvoted this thread just because I want to save the whole discussion somewhere, this needs to be downvoted.

thundabot · 2019-11-14T04:58:23+00:00

I challenge anyone that has approached a stranger during the day, got a phone number, a date and is now in a long term relationship to post here. Even if it happens, the odds would be so minuscule because, yes it’s creepy...

2019-11-14T05:03:15+00:00

I wish this can be stickied

rich_god · 2019-11-13T21:53:20+00:00

I agree with this. I have done hundreds of approaches and know many guys who have slept with more than 100 girls and are under 30. All my girlfriends and friends agree with that : cold approaches in public spaces are an inefficient way of meeting people. It’s only good for one thing: getting rid of approach anxiety. You need maybe 50 approaches for that and then you’re done, move to some effective method.

I honestly have met some of the most attractive guys you can imagine, they all have a sub 10% close rate in street approaches. That means 90% of the time, it’s annoying. And once again, they are attractive people with great social skills.

That doesn’t mean you should stop approaching people. But for instance in the last month I approached 8 girls. I had sex with 7 of them and the last one became a good friend. 3 of them became LTRs. A big reason for that is that I meet people in places where they want to be met, I approached them the way they want to be approached, and That happens organically. They don’t even realize they have been approached because they are just having a nice time with someone. They are choosing this interaction, they feel safe, they feel free, they are true to themselves.

Obviously environment is not the only factor, but it’s so important.

Edit : apparently people are interested to know those places. Here are the best environments for me : party at friends place (best is when you don’t know anyone except that friend, that’s why having girl friends is so important), any event that you organize or at least participated in organizing, social events around your hobby (once again, huge bonus if you organized it), events that last a few days where people are meant to be together (festivals, internship, retreats... and once again at least try to have a friend in the organization), and I don’t anymore but I used to like sport events and special nights in bar. Nowadays I prefer events where people don’t rely on booze to socialize.

What I did to have a lot of those events is : find one or a few hobbies that attract as many guys as girls. Find something that would attract the people with the same hobby to meet each other. Organise that event a few times. Now you’re known in that sphere, you can go to anyone with that hobby locally and they will know you before you even talk to them. Even if they never came, they probably heard about your events. They already trust you and value you. Once again it’s not the whole thing (screening is just as important) but it is essential.

Leionart · 2019-11-14T02:26:59+00:00

If you completely disagree with the ^ advice PM me

Zangief89 · 2022-05-03T16:50:59+00:00

Oh my god, guys do not listen to girls!!!!

Human-Campaign-7229 · 2022-07-10T12:47:10+00:00

So why don’t women stay home

It's not you, women just don't like to be approached in public

Comments

bruh 🔥🔥🤡🤡💯

Title	It's not you, women just don't like to be approached in public
Author	ahanahax
Upvotes	607
Comments	374
Date	November 13, 2019 8:12 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dvxi19/its_not_you_women_just_dont_like_to_be_approached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/its-not-you-women-just-dont-like-to-be-approached.1428438 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428438