Are guys maturing faster than women in the US and that's a problem?

DarayRaven · 2024-03-25T20:03:08+00:00

The average age of marriage for both genders is now 30-32

Both men and women don't see it optimal seeking long-term monogamy when they are young

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-03-25T20:11:24+00:00

Someone had posted a study that half (or maybe almost half, can’t remember exactly) of men are not interested in a relationship whatsoever.

My anecdotal experience aligns with that study, about half want a relationship/something serious and half don’t.

Acaciduh · 2024-03-25T19:49:25+00:00

In my experience neither men nor women want to get married and pop out kids super young unless they’re in a more religious environment.

It’s more likely young people date and crash and burn early because they are young and dumb and those relationships are typically volatile and immature. Super young adults also are more than likely to just be getting freedoms from their transition from their parent’s house and don’t want to be tied down.

However, by mid 20s to late 20s people are usually more secure in their jobs, have had a few years of adult freedoms and start prioritizing LTR’s. And this is coming from someone who started dating her husband at 23. I don’t think either of us were looking for our forever person but it just happened to work out that way pretty early for me.

Particular_Trade6308 · 2024-03-25T21:37:39+00:00

The guys who want to get married young are redpill/tradcons who can't get laid and wish we could go back to early marriage.

Chads aren't looking to get married young. They just smash until they're ready to settle down, then they lockdown a mid-20s Stacy when they enter their 30s.

This is why you sometimes hear women say "men these days are commitment-phobic," it's because Chad doesn't want to commit. No one cares that Billy Beta or random tradcon MGTOW coomers would be willing to marry at age 23.

JSears90210 · 2024-03-25T19:57:34+00:00

Men in their 20s who don't have a lot of options want relationships.

Men in their 20s who have a lot of options either want to be single or are only willing to settle with someone who is a great catch.

This is a generalization and doesn't fit for every guy.

Konoha_Shinobee · 2024-03-25T19:49:52+00:00

It seems in here that guys are wanting relationships in their 20s or younger where as a lot of women are not ready for them until their 30s, which seems to cause mismatches in timing.

Marketing. It's women that complain about lack of men willing to commit to serious relationships, so men brand themselves as looking for serious relationships to meet those demands. Both men and women are mistaken though, there isn't really a shortage of either men or women willing to commit. There's a shortage of men and women that they'd want to commit too, good looking people who have their lives and finances in order are in short supply. That's the real problem.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2024-03-26T01:07:43+00:00

I don't think any of the people in this sub are representative of normal people in real life. I've said it before but 8/10 times, it's just people on here trolling or venting, saying dumb stuff they know they'd never say or do in real life.

But to answer your question in my dating experience i've noticed the opposite. When I date a lot of women they don't know how to have fun. They go into dates already thinking about the next step, literally planning far into the future on the first date. Meanwhile I'm just trying to go with the flow, be present in the moment and have a good time. Some might say this is 'immature' but I disagree.

Maturity isn't being serious and thinking about the future all the time. Its about knowing when it's time to goof around and when it's time to be serous

wtknight · 2024-03-25T19:43:09+00:00

Women are probably choosier than when I was younger, but I’m not sure that that means that men are “maturing faster”. It probably means the opposite, in that women are less willing to settle for men less mature than they ideally want.

TopEntertainment4781 · 2024-03-25T20:47:07+00:00

No. Very few guys wanted to settle down (ie marry) in their 20s. Seemed more like late 20s but especially early 30s.

Don’t confuse wanting to fuck with wanting to settle down.

krackedy · 2024-03-25T19:31:36+00:00

In my circle .ost men, including myself, were not looking to settle down young, neither were the women though.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2024-03-25T19:49:09+00:00

All research suggests that women mature faster than boys in pretty much every measurable way.

https://shine365.marshfieldclinic.org/kids-health/boys-girls-maturity-gap/

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-03-25T19:35:12+00:00

You need to back this up with some evidence; personal anecdotes don’t count

New83659 · 2024-03-25T19:47:50+00:00

Women tend to get married younger, so they are settling down younger, and they also tend to be more religious, which encourages settling down and not partying.

Guys on this sub are outliers.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-03-25T19:54:15+00:00

There seems to be less fomo for women than there is for guys these days. There''s more messaging like "it'll come together when it's supposed to, or it won't, either way it's all good" aimed at women. Messaging aimed at men seems more fatalistic; "work on yourself and you ~may~ be worthy someday... but maybe not hard to say"

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-03-25T19:40:07+00:00

Pretty sure the average age of marriage is something like 28 for women. Women are definitely having serious relationships before their 30s. I think women in their 30s are more desperate to lock down a partner and willing to accept guys they wouldn't have dated before because the better guys are usually taken. It's the same for most single men that age too.

rapsk · 2024-03-25T20:14:17+00:00

Women mature faster than men developmentally. They move out of their parents house sooner. They're more likely to own a home. They graduate college sooner and in greater numbers. They're less likely to be unemployed or experience long stretches of unemployment.

And more relevant to your actual post, they get married sooner in life than men :|

KayRay1994 · 2024-03-26T01:32:49+00:00

tbh I don’t think guys “want relationships in their 20s” I think, frankly, they’re trying to latch onto any kind of connection with a woman and know they aren’t exactly hookup material.

Plus, let’s not forget the fact that the idea is lots of these men want wives ready for when they settle down. In other words, it isn’t about him getting into a relationship in his 20s, it’s about her being ready for him when he’s ready to get into one

AngeCruelle · 2024-03-25T21:25:32+00:00

Wanting a relationship/marriage isn't a mark of maturity. You see 5-year-olds on the playground exchanging ring pops.

Maturity is wanting those things at the right time for the right reasons.

blebbyroo · 2024-03-25T19:42:02+00:00

Women mature faster than men imo and experience. Men don’t actually want marriage when they are young. Ppd is not representative of men in general and then men here likely don’t even want marriage they would likely feel intimidated by it and what it actually means- they like the idea of having a young hot wife who rejects all men but him and who wants to stay at home and tend to his “needs”

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-03-25T20:39:24+00:00

It seems in here that guys are wanting relationships in their 20s or younger where as a lot of women are not ready for them until their 30s,

Firstly, people on here will tell you themselves that we are not a representative sample.

Secondly, there are also plenty of men on here completely against settlin down.

Swordfromthecement · 2024-03-25T20:58:51+00:00

I don’t think it’s maturity but men tend to have less options when they’re younger than when they hit their 30s.

Combine that with single men being generally less satisfied with their singleness than single women, then I could see why there’s more men willing to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship (or sex, depending on how cynical you are). Which could be seen as maturity, but I’m not sure if that is.

kjk67895 · 2024-03-25T22:42:30+00:00

What America you going to bro

Relative_Bee8356 · 2024-03-26T00:01:47+00:00

Consider the source.

The guys you hear this from are usually late-blooming squares. They struggle in their youth because they don't enjoy doing normal young person things and they freak out about their girlfriends doing normal young person things. Even fairly commitment-oriented young women typically want boyfriends who will party with them and not throw fits about instagram selfies.

These men do better in their thirties because women in their thirties are less into doing young person things so it becomes less of a handicap and more a point of compatibility.

Notably, most young men are not super interested in settling down and I'd argue they're even less interested in committed relationships than their same-aged female peers. Outside of religious communities, most people aren't "dating for marriage" in their early twenties and when they do go the distance with their high school/college sweethearts they consider it a happy accident.

bifewova234 · 2024-03-26T00:09:48+00:00

Why would you think that a lot of women arent ready for relationships until their 30s when 68% of women aged 18-29 are in relationships? https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/?attachment_id=28973

LittleRainSiaoYu · 2024-03-26T04:38:25+00:00

My cynical take on this is that these days there are more young guys trying to pull beta game and branding themselves as the nice relationship guy as a way to get some, which is why there are more men wanting relationships at that age than women, which would not have been the case in the past. To assume it has something to do with maturity is probably an outdated way of looking at it.

SteveSan82 · 2024-03-26T07:26:23+00:00

I wanted to start a family in my 20s but my girlfriends kept monkey branching to older men. It left me heartbroken and unable to trust women. I gave up on the idea of having kids. I felt disgusted when ex girlfriends would contact me acting like nothing happened months or years later.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-03-25T21:50:33+00:00

and all of a sudden other women were interested too when I reached my 30s

They hit the wall, this is why they're running towards billy the beta to save them.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-03-26T00:54:56+00:00

Women want to have their fun while they still are in their prime which is why they want to marry older, their problem is that the guys they want won't want them since the top tier men will want young and beautiful women, women in their prime. Once these women's prime is gone, meaning once they hit the wall, they will get frustrated, they won't get chads anymore and so on.

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HumpsyDumpsy · 2024-03-25T20:45:00+00:00

It doesn't have anything to do with maturity. There are men and women who are both dating casually, and dating for longterm/marriage, and it's based on what they want out of the dating experience.

Because u can be a mature person but not fuck with dating for longterm/settling down/marriage

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2024-03-25T22:39:00+00:00

Most men who want relationships in their 20's are very religious or low value. Low value men only want relationships because they can't get hookups. If they could get hookups they wouldn't care about relationships

Safinated · 2024-03-25T22:42:23+00:00

The opposite

AnnoKano · 2024-03-25T23:37:39+00:00

Hahahaha... no, the absolute opposite.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-25T23:40:10+00:00

It just seems like that to you. In reality men are much more likely to want to put off committed relationships.

sublimemongrel · 2024-03-26T00:08:43+00:00

Women have relationships in their 20s, including LTRs. Neither men nor women by and large want marriage and kids until mid to late 20s or later. Men are not more “serious” about these things that young either

Flaky-Ad-1499 · 2024-03-26T00:59:11+00:00

There’s this narrative on this sub that women in their 20s are just hooking up with “Chad” and not pursuing relationships. The reality is that women who have casual sex generally pursue a mix of hookups and relationships in their 20s. At times they will be in a monogamous relationship and if not, they’ll pursue hookups. It’s pretty rare for a woman to only have casual sex in her 20s.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-03-26T01:25:05+00:00

I think it depends a lot more on the environment than the gender. The smaller and more religious the town, the sooner people want to settle down. The bigger and more career-oriented the city, the older they’ll want to wait.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2024-03-26T01:40:40+00:00

The age of first marriage in the U.S. is younger for women, than it is men. So no, we aren't maturing faster than women.

obviousredflag · 2024-03-26T11:32:50+00:00

No, it's the opposite.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-03-26T14:27:14+00:00

Women are into you because you're mature. Women are only as mature as their man. If you were mature at 20 you would have had more women interested in you.

LuckyKirito · 2024-03-27T11:36:22+00:00

Take the antidelusioner pill

Fan_Service_3703 · 2024-03-25T19:48:26+00:00

If I was able to somehow procure the money, I'd have settled down soon as I left school if I met someone who'd want to settle down with me.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-03-25T20:20:50+00:00

They aren't maturing faster. They aren't developing careers which leaves them with family creation as a form of securing their identity in society.

You can see the opposite effect in societes where women have no access to opportunities: more of them just want to be moms because they have nothing else going for them

No-Weather-3140 · 2024-03-25T21:01:44+00:00

Women in a biological sense mature faster. I’d argue that women, from a societal standpoint, have been sold a foundation of lies and the pendulum has swung “too far” in the other direction as far as “raging against the motherhood”. Many women finding out they wanted to settle down too late. As fertility wanes much sooner for women, this has major impacts down the line.

FebruaryEightyNine · 2024-03-25T19:56:44+00:00

Just about every metric points towards women accelerating past men when it comes to education, employment and financial maturity below 30.

HOWEVER, be that as it may, I feel that whilst women still mature faster than men. Many kinda end up stuck in that 20-something mentality where men often spend their 20s in various ruts (be they romantic, educational or financial) and them find themselves in their late 20s and 30s and start to get into gear. Of course this is exasperated by women often falling out of the workforce to have children.

Without sounding like a concern trolling incel, I do wonder about the many twentysomething women who kinda just remain there often struggling to achieve key life goals beyond graduation. Getting on the property ladder and getting married and having kids are still important goals for many and I feel being stuck in a perpetual state of "situationships" makes this harder to happen. And I think the same of the guys who end up buying into the redpill stuff late into their 20s.

Velor22 · 2024-03-25T21:30:07+00:00

I think neither men nor women are maturing faster these days. Generally speaking, of course.

Women just wanting to have fun or focus on career in their 20s is stunting interpersonal development. Many seem to be gaining baggage and trauma from (the wrong) men rather than valuable relationship skills.

Men on the other hand seem to be languishing without purpose, which stunts their development and makes them even less attractive to women.

Speaking as a man, nothing destroys purpose and steals passion more than feeling we do not matter, and that family and legacy are but a pipe dream.

It's looking pretty grim to be honest. Maybe the incoming financial crisis (due to unsustainable debt levels) will force men and women back together, and restore values in society. A silver lining.

MistyMaisel · 2024-03-26T00:22:07+00:00

In my experience, the men who wanted those kind of relationships, generally were seeking a mommy and were pretty desperate/needy. They weren't mature adults by any stretch and were essentially trying to make me (or the women I knew) be the mature adult for them.

No one mature and at all smart wants to settle down that young unless religion or conservatism is going on. And it almost inevitably ends badly.

Women are being mature to recognize that they aren't fully developed or ready to be a partner to someone at that level of commitment and probably aren't smart enough to select someone truly compatible yet or know what a healthy relationship will look like for them.

Hosj_Karp · 2024-03-26T06:08:38+00:00

You've got to be kidding me lmao

Title	Are guys maturing faster than women in the US and that's a problem?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	2
Comments	231
Date	March 25, 2024 7:28 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bnmhmw/are_guys_maturing_faster_than_women_in_the_us_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-guys-maturing-faster-than-women-in-the-us-and.1513079 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513079

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