What is something you always wanted to do but couldn't before divorce and now you're doing?

Acceptable_Meat3824 · 2024-07-09T16:13:35+00:00

Quit alcohol, as it was finally livable being sober.

Gattsama · 2024-07-09T15:24:38+00:00

Dude where to start????

I bought a small plane. Had my license for years but was renting on/off. Used my equity from the home sale to buy an A36.
Got a motorcycle again. Use to ride, but gave it up 'for the marriage.'
Starting skiing again. In theory could have done that anytime, but she wasn't that healthy and didn't want to go. And I didn't engage in activities that would take me 'outside the marriage'
Took a trip with my best friend to SE Asia x2. I would do short trips w/o her but never more than 1.5-2wks due to her 'health' issues. Went for 5wks once and 4wks the next.
Visited a ton of family. She felt that visiting my family made her feel 'shut out' and 'unwelcomed.'
Cut back on work. Again, in theory I could have done this anytime. But I was simping hard, and supporting our pretty badass life.
BJJ. I have been training on/off for years (way before I meant the eX). Again she was not a fan of me spending large amount of times 'outside of the marriage alone.' I would train for 4-5hrs some days, and she couldn't join me because 'health issues.'
Most important: I have never been more peaceful and stress free. I could not create that within the marriage. Now it's my default.

GraceMaze · 2024-07-09T01:56:20+00:00

I am only 5 months separated but here is what I have so far… Peace of mind!!! Watch what I want. Get off when I want and actually get off! New furniture I want. All the plants I desire. Meditate. Running and bike rides when I want. Hang and HAVE friends. Not having to support a MAN CHILD! eat healthy foods. After work not feel like I have to rush home, sit in the driveway and worry about what I am coming home too!!! Less water bill cause I don’t have a porn addict in my house Never talk to my really rude and mental mother in law Have dreams again Dream about my life … and call in a good man when I am ready

Spend time with my puppy who isn’t worried her dad is going to push her or yell at her

There is sooo much!

I am FINALLY SEEING THE LIGHT

Personal_Falcon2081 · 2024-07-08T15:29:34+00:00

• Have money.

• Do whatever the fuck I want all the time.

• Sleep with whoever I want

• Buy whatever I want

• Not buy whatever I don't want to buy (this is a big one)

• Raise my kids the way I believe is right without being undermined constantly.

• Have friends.

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2024-07-08T12:06:55+00:00

In my early 20’s, I wanted to buy a pistol but couldn’t afford it. When I was married and could afford it, pistol was a hard “no.”

I bought my first pistol about a month after I filed. She found out about it a month later. She said, “you know the first person they suspect is the husband?” I said, “I know that.” The rest of the response was not spoken: “Why would I spend $500 on a gun when there’s a perfectly good hammer in the garage?”

Short answer: new hobby of shooting sports!

xeskind30 · 2024-07-08T10:25:54+00:00

Since I got divorced, I have the following: peace of mind, actually relaxing at home, not having to do something over the weekend, financial stability, go on a vacation and actually have a good time, eat the kinds of foods I want to eat, spending time with my kid and actually having a good time, watch the programs I want to watch on TV, a clean house, dishes done, I get to have disposable income!

I can leave the house and do errands and go to the gym without feeling guilty. I can spend time with my friends and not feel that I have to get home right away.

azskaht · 2024-07-08T07:47:36+00:00

Invest.

We struggled with finances because she "handled" that part. When we divorced we sold our house and I used my proceeds to buy a home. 3 years later I bought my first rental property, and two years later my second.

She still rents. I want her to change that, for many reasons.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-07-08T04:14:22+00:00

Have fun with the boys. Legit men’s time smoking cigars and talking worldly stuff without having to worry about my crazy x hallucinations

HerbEverstanks · 2024-07-08T04:02:56+00:00

I can walk barefoot now since the landscape is not all eggshells.

Drjaydvm · 2024-07-08T01:36:41+00:00

Bought 3 motorcycles

Ancient-Length8844 · 2024-07-08T01:25:03+00:00

have sex with someone I'm actually physically attracted too, instead of a walrus.

hazalo9 · 2024-07-08T01:00:41+00:00

Was able to work on my finances! When I was with her she required so much emotional maintenance it was dragging down the family cause I didn't have time to invest time on more income. Now with all the free time I can focus quality time on this and my children. Had to make the best of the hand we were dealt and it's working out great!

stupididiot78 · 2024-07-08T00:00:00+00:00

Buy good home theater gear. For some reason or another, we just never had the money for that. My living room sounds absolutely amazing now.

karavan7 · 2024-07-07T23:42:18+00:00

Freedom is the ability to do what you want, when you want, without compromise. Marriage apparently takes work, often divising compromises where both people are unhappy, lose-lose.

JohnnyD77711 · 2024-07-07T23:26:52+00:00

Banging my neighbor?

.

. (Just kidding)

daniel22mckee · 2024-07-07T21:35:54+00:00

I’m looking forward to doing traveling a whole lot more and not having someone complain about everything

CapnTreee · 2024-07-07T21:34:27+00:00

Ride street motorcycles. Took lessons and bought a liter bike, drove it from WA to CA! Life is better now. By far.

DreamOld8971 · 2024-07-07T21:21:27+00:00

Sleeping with a hot model and making bank.

ohmike · 2024-07-07T21:19:47+00:00

Living where I want.. doing what I want.. And having amazing sex.. thank you to my ex for leaving me after the last 8 boring ass years.. I wish I never wasted my time trying to save it… but now I’m making up for it.

SnooSprouts5398 · 2024-07-07T20:17:55+00:00

Get stationed overseas, I think I will take Japan orders next time I’m up.

Americanjello · 2024-07-07T20:07:13+00:00

Not live paycheck to paycheck. Go to bed at a reasonable hour. Have a clean house. Actually get all the laundry done. Hold onto a dollar longer than a month. Excel at work. Could go on but that seems like enough

jerkoff4cash · 2024-07-07T19:19:41+00:00

Having a clean house. My wife and her kids are slobs. How hard is it to put a dish in the dishwasher?

Dating women that are "my type." My wife is very pretty, but was never really my type if you know what I mean. I want a girl with a huge ass

Not being stressed wondering what type of mood she's going to be in as a fluctuated from day to day sometimes even hour to hour.

Just having a casual conversation with another woman, without my ex glaring at me. She usually would go into a jealous rage as soon as we were in private. One time she got jealous that I was spending too much time talking to the male waiter, she thought he might be gay and I was flirting with him. Utterly ridiculous.

I'm slowly building my social circle back. She basically destroyed my friendships. Which is partly my fault, but I was never allowed to go anywhere without her having to meltdown or calling and texting me in the middle of whatever I was doing for no other reason than to ruin my time I was having.

I like having social media again, without her stalking me. I literally had to block my wife on my social media because she used it as a mechanism to stalk me and abuse me.

I like not having to worry about if she's going to find out a way to go through my phone when I'm in the shower or whatever. I never had anything in it that was wrong, but she always managed to find something to get freaked out about. I'd love to know how she always found a way to get into it.

I like being able to have a conversation on the phone without her being upset that I was on the phone for so long. Wondering who I was talking to.

I could go on, but man as I type this out I really was married to a total psycho.

Hurricane1323 · 2024-07-07T19:01:26+00:00

Having sex with a hilarious , sexy, train wreck of a woman who is also wonderful and 10 years younger than me and it’s just so much fun. My wife left and I was devastated - and now I’m really glad she did. I hate what it did to our daughter, but I tried my best - now I’m grateful. I still don’t like the ex tho.

Daaad3x · 2024-07-07T18:41:28+00:00

2 chicks at the same time

SirOssis · 2024-07-07T18:39:57+00:00

Saving and investing my money.

Mangrove43 · 2024-07-07T18:31:48+00:00

whatever I want, when I want

dadplup · 2024-07-07T18:16:29+00:00

Discuss and answer my daughter's questions , specially the one where she asked why I stayed so long if I was unhappy

TheCommentator- · 2024-07-07T18:09:02+00:00

be for the streets 🤟🏾… 🤣 joking… just joking..

FinnyIzzy · 2024-07-07T17:52:33+00:00

Get sober. My ex was (and is) an alcoholic who planned every outing, vacation and free time activity around drinking. Vacations - drink. Cruises - drink. Family trips - drink. Weekends-drink. Exercise (afterwards) - drink. Neighborhood get together - drink. Nothing to do - drink. Thankfully, it was a short second marriage, less than two years, that cost me financially very little but took a heavy toll on my mental and physical health because of alcohol. The divorce was finalized two years ago. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since. No meat either, by the way. Went vegetarian at the same time. Never felt better.

Squidgy68 · 2024-07-07T17:38:25+00:00

Watch less TV, Joined a Men's group, Did Cinema solo so much more enjoyable not been pestered constantly, Relax & enjoy the peace, Save money, Budget, Drive my car how I want, Sleep has long as I want, Improve myself....Basically just enjoying life now.

Several-Eagle4141 · 2024-07-07T17:08:46+00:00

Having sex with someone who resembles a live person

Sam_N_Emmy · 2024-07-07T16:46:21+00:00

The best example was Independence Day. We hosted a party and it was amazing. I smoked ribs, grilled burgers and brats, and we made a few other things. People brought food and fireworks. I spent more than anticipated, mostly due to being unsupervised. We had a blast. In the past my ex would have been bitching the whole time. She would have found a reason to start a fight with both guests and myself. The party would be over before it got going. My wife (now) was by my side for the whole thing and was making sure everyone was having a good time. She was the life of the party. I definitely appreciate being able to do things like this with her and live a drama free life.

letsbehavingu · 2024-07-07T16:38:43+00:00

Weed and video games

gronk4198 · 2024-07-07T16:32:51+00:00

Everything ... and I mean everything is less stressful. Quality of life has gone up tremendously. Sure I got wrecked financially but I've done fine since D day. I date fun, young beautiful girls who actually want to spend time with me. I have complete control over my schedule and time which the best outcome I could have hoped for. Lots of spontaneous travel, and go to music gigs whenever I want - life is beautiful

salty-sheep-bah · 2024-07-07T16:23:41+00:00

I can take a trip with the kids and

1: I can decide the destination.

2: Not have it ruined by stupid complaints like the Airbnb is smaller than the photos or this popular beach town is too crowded here in the middle of fucking summer...

Vacations were the fucking worst I swear. Thousands of dollars just to be miserable for a few days somewhere other than home.

Also, I can eat breakfast burritos in bed and watch whatever I want on Netflix. That's nice too

ThePancakeStalker · 2024-07-07T16:22:18+00:00

My motorcycle!

Accomplished_Gene176 · 2024-07-07T16:19:24+00:00

Get 8 hrs of sleep per day. My ex was a lazy pos and would never get up to take our dogs out so I was the one jumping out of bed to deal with them (we worked nights). Usually Id be lucky to get 5 hrs sleep.

rb5775 · 2024-07-07T16:08:53+00:00

Saving money.

minilabthrow · 2024-07-07T16:07:07+00:00

did a lot of traveling, retired early, finally got away from nj and moved to Florida

BlackSun56 · 2024-07-07T15:56:11+00:00

Have hot sex routinely.

pozzowon · 2024-07-07T15:56:03+00:00

Walk in a park, go camping, go to public concerts, do cheap fun stuff, not worry about what people would think of the cost of a gift, but of how much people would love a well thought gift, turn on the TV once or twice a week instead of keeping it on 6 hours a day

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2024-07-07T15:40:32+00:00

Pretty much everything.

Intelligent-Bed-4149 · 2024-07-07T15:40:26+00:00

Have zero debt and a 6+ month emergency fund, and contribute 15% to my retirement.

konsada24 · 2024-07-07T15:26:31+00:00

Spending time with friends/family and traveling.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-07-07T15:08:26+00:00

Have a budget. I always wanted to have a budget while married, but whenever I tried brining it up with my ex she'd have a mental health episode.

Now, I have a spreadsheet, I minimize costs, and know exactly how much I'll each month to 'spend' on things beyond the day to day. Helps plan purchases, increase savings, have goals, etc.

Before, it was just the account got spent down to zero every single month, and I'd have to juggle various cards and accounts to get through the last week each month.

BrickEquivalent6273 · 2024-07-07T15:05:24+00:00

Have better sex

First-Bid8895 · 2024-07-07T15:03:54+00:00

Travel more... Since I don't have to pay for her, I can do more traveling.... Also I am more athletic and sporty than she is so I'm not afraid to walk or hike a bit or hop on a motorcycle... Nobody slows me down doing more active vacations... She is definitely slowing me down financially but I make up for it by doing things on the cheap.... Central and South America... At times I get lonely even on these vacations but it's usually short lived...

justme4556 · 2024-07-07T14:46:10+00:00

Watch whatever movie I want. I don't care if it's full of debauchery or not. If I decide to go climb a mountain I go.

azwildcat74 · 2024-07-07T14:28:52+00:00

Whatever the fuck I want to do without being made to feel guilty for it. I would get nagged about DIY shit around the house that needed done but then when I took the time to actually do it got nagged about how she's having to take care of the kids alone. I'd want to go out and try new restaurants, take hikes, see new places, and then I would wake up and get ready to go only for her to be dragging her ass until 3p and then it was too late to actually go do what I wanted to do. It's just so nice to be able to make plans and then just make them happen without another person sucking all of the fun out of everything anymore.

Gillilnomics · 2024-07-07T14:27:55+00:00

See my long time friends and make new ones

Spend time with my family

Broad_Worldliness546 · 2024-07-07T14:25:41+00:00

Mental peace

Title	What is something you always wanted to do but couldn't before divorce and now you're doing?
Author	ooomn57
Upvotes	42
Comments	108
Date	July 7, 2024 2:23 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1dxhojx/what_is_something_you_always_wanted_to_do_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-is-something-you-always-wanted-to-do-but.1523545 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523545

Comments