Women don't NEED to be successful, funny or interesting to be a valuable partner. That's the difference.

wtknight · 2020-07-20T23:33:05+00:00

This post is now locked as the OP has deleted his/her account and the post.

rhyth7 · 2020-07-20T11:42:26+00:00

Have you told your fiance she isn't interesting?

naamshiko · 2020-07-20T11:51:48+00:00

So, in conclusion, you want a sex-doll that will be kind to you and good pedigree enough to look nice when you parade her around, but not actually interesting or smart cause God forbids she's as good or better than you cause that would threaten your masculinity. Ok.

Alberic2092 · 2020-07-20T08:24:54+00:00

To be fair, men don't need to be funny or interesting either. They just need to be successful and hot - or just really, really hot.

Clearhill · 2020-07-20T13:35:54+00:00

You really don't get it.

Women want to be successful because it makes them happy to be successful and valued in society. They don't want to be funny, they are funny. And they want to be interesting because you get to be interesting by finding out about and getting involved in the stuff you love - it's called personal growth.

None of these things have anything to do with pleasing men, or making themselves 'better partners' - did you notice that your list was just a list of properties they would need to meet your needs? Almost as if what you want isn't a whole, happy person, just an appendage that does what you want and values you more than herself. That's kind of fucked up.

Women are not doing these things to be better partners. Their primary function in life is not even to be partners. They want those things for themselves, because their primary function is to be complete, happy humans.

goatismycopilot · 2020-07-20T10:52:05+00:00

Six months ago OP was complaining about his LDR GF going clubbing. Now he is "engaged" and giving mating/dating observations. That actually IS funny so I guess he is fulfilling the mandate.

AramisNight · 2020-07-20T06:52:28+00:00

So what you are saying is... that everything that I would find important for my self-worth, is worthless?

I think that we've got that message repeatedly already.

c_dolly · 2020-07-20T07:03:01+00:00

It's not about you.

My career is my passion, it's for myself, and the only man I want to impress with my success is my dad.

Gallo_Grande · 2020-07-20T13:13:26+00:00

“I always love the fact that I’m the funny guy in the room.”

I doubt you are. Funny people don’t need to point out that they’re funny. They just are.

Also, she doesn’t need to be funny OR interesting? Have fun with your boring-ass fiancé.

Mimoxs · 2020-07-20T07:09:49+00:00

Women don't just have value to inflate your ego, serve as something to prop you up on.

It's insulting to say that women don't matter for who they actually are, that they only matter as how they accentuate you.

Those things women do that make you feel reassured and valued? Maybe women would also like to be treated like that, be treated as important as their own, unique persons. If I knew that I wasn't valued for my own traits and individuality, that would hurt.

This comes off like the same people who say the 1950s were ideal women

abysmalworm · 2020-07-20T10:19:05+00:00

[deleted]

Zombombaby · 2020-07-20T13:27:39+00:00

I think it's up to the individual to decide the dynamic. What works for you might not work for somebody else. And beauty is only skin deep so most successful relationships need couples to both pull their weight in the relationship.

Also when women didn't have economical equality, it was common for women to put up with abusive partners because they had no other options. Nowadays, women don't need to be eye candy and accessories to men. They have better financial foothold and the ability to exit toxic relationships and some people view that as a bad thing.

And I like making people laugh and I have a reputation for being funny. I'd be pretty hurt if my husband told me to stop making jokes and telling me how to enjoy my life.

LGdollarsign · 2020-07-20T14:59:02+00:00

I feel like u woke up to your wife doing nothing at all and made this post. Who on Earth wants a boring girl around? While I agree with some points I still want to be with a human at the end of the day. Don't act single, waste money and always stroke my ego to the point i feel like I can do anything!

goneaway2thewind · 2020-07-20T07:22:03+00:00

[deleted]

Taiwanx · 2020-07-20T12:14:30+00:00

Speak for yourself.

GennyX · 2020-07-20T06:56:05+00:00

We do those things for ourselves.

LeJacquelope · 2020-07-20T07:19:20+00:00

Damn, I do not get what makes men feel like women can't be comedians or liven up a room with some humor. Five minutes on a gamestream channel with a woman who isn't a boobstreamer will cure rational men of that belief. I've run into some funnyasfuck women on there and that's just a microcosm of the comedically talented women I've met in life.

RaspberryInk · 2020-07-20T14:02:23+00:00

You made an entire post to share your personal preferences in women, and tagged it with CMV?

Not sure how I could change your view when the core arguments are your personal preferences, but for me personally interesting, intelligent, and funny are right up there at the top of the list. I don't care whether she's successful or not, but self-sufficiency and personal initiative are important to me, which more often than not lead to a fulfilling (successful) career.

People, their personalities, and their dating preferences are not one giant, homogenous blob of sameness. There's actually quite a bit of research on the personality side of this--on how certain aspects of our personalities fairly substantially shape how we view other people. I do agree with you that two people don't have to bring the same things into a relationship, and that differences can provide better compatibility, but what those priorities and differences are varies pretty dramatically from person to person.

Silly_Field · 2020-07-20T10:47:53+00:00

Lol it’s not about you.

I know it’s shocking but women don’t exist to fulfil your bangmaid fantasies. We are people in our own right with intrinsic motivation (something a lot of manosphere men seem to be sorely lacking in).

princessangelbaby_ · 2020-07-20T08:54:25+00:00

If she wants a man who has standards, yes she does.

I personally am settled down with the greastest man I've ever met and sometimes I have to pinch myself that he's mine.

He could have any girl he wants so I have to be consistently a great person if I want him to marry and have kids with me. I have to add value to his life.

Why would he want me if I wasn't successful, funny, or interesting? I guess you could say my good looks (I'm exactly his type), but those ain't enough if you expect a HVM to stay with you long term.

theinnerdork · 2020-07-20T08:54:05+00:00

Could you tell us how you and your partner are equal?

RimbaudsRevenge · 2020-07-20T13:28:15+00:00

You do you, but for my own part I think her being interesting and able to make me laugh is damn important. Not very much so at first, but if the relationship is to last past 2 years.

Lust, beauty and attraction is a bit fleeting. Sex eventually turns into this kinda nice and cozy thing you do but isn't all that exciting anymore. Deep down, we probably aren't naturally monogamous and that's the reason for it, but how do you manage then?

It's a lot easier to kick those things down some orders of priority as long as she's at least fun and interesting to be with otherwise. If we can have quality conversations and stimulate each other such, it doesn't matter too much when the physical attraction wanes a little.

That's why.

Support and care are cornerstones that I agree with. Both need to be doing that, unless if both are on the autism spectrum and likes to live like they are in two respective bubbles 90% of the time :)

GGMcThroway · 2020-07-20T15:45:36+00:00

Men don't need it either. What both partners need is to be compatible.

Men who say they want the bare minimum in a partner aren't taking the high road. They're foisting the responsibility of determining compatibility entirely on women, and they probably just assume any woman they manage lock in will become a mommy bangmaid regardless of who they actually are as a person. And then they'll wonder why they're bored and/or stuck in a deadbedroom a decade down the road.

Coloring_Fractals · 2020-07-20T16:26:32+00:00

Sure find whatever you want attractive. But then I see all the men bemoan what it actually means when the man has the important job and she doesn’t. Some guys want it both ways.

prunusamygdalis · 2020-07-20T16:42:33+00:00

You want an ego prop with built in fuck holes, not an "equal" or a "partner" lmao.

kaynewest1977 · 2020-07-20T13:15:21+00:00

Who hurt you?

mountainofjoy · 2020-07-20T08:01:31+00:00

I think you nailed it when you said FOR YOU those things aren’t important. I mean, to each their own.

But you can’t speak for all men. My husband values me for being interesting, easy to talk to, supportive, and a myriad other things including attractiveness and - get this - being funny!

Saying you want to be THE funny one is, again, your personal preference and I can’t change your mind (nor do I wish to), but one of the things my husband said drew him to me and was one of the MOST attractive thing about me is how I can make HIM laugh harder than anyone he knows besides his very hilarious brother.

I think a lot of men do like funny women and those that don’t never held my interest anyway.

MrHerbSherman · 2020-07-20T06:51:55+00:00

I don’t know how I buck the trend so much but I do like when a girl has some money, it’s fun to be able to do stuff all the time instead of living poor and/or paying her way all the time

Still not in my five traits I look for tho so maybe I’m not challenging your view all that much (loyal, sexual/adventurous, smart, low maintenance, artsy/crafty in case you’re wondering)

NarniaFox · 2020-07-20T08:01:32+00:00

Women don't need these qualities for what specifically? For casual sex? For LTRs? For successful LTRs?

Also being successful, fun and interesting is subjective and people tend to have different definitions for them. I guess the more generic ones could be defined as the opposites of being a loser and being boring. I think these qualities wouldn't help anyone with their romantic life.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-07-20T09:47:13+00:00

The way I read this is "Women don't need to be successful, funny or interesting to be a valuable partner, because men don't typically value women outside of being supporting roles for their lives."

While I do agree that this is the case, if that is what you're saying, I don't agree that women shouldn't be. If I'm expected to be a whole lot plus more, there had better be some substantial return coming from their end. I'm looking for an equal partner, not somebody who acts like an NPC on a mission during a videogame (they're basically almost useless and you have to protect them). I want somebody who is independent and can handle themselves accordingly. I guess I'm asking for another main character for a partner who can also cover my six rather than a support role who I need to protect and coddle the whole time, but most women might just not be built this way or equipped for the role, so I might have to settle for someone who complements me the best.

I also agree with some of the others that only lower quality men would settle for low quality women who don't really offer much beyond their presence and reactionary support. If men and women are really equal, then assigned roles aren't necessary. You just have to be adaptable to assume whatever role is required.

3DegreesOfVerbality · 2020-07-20T12:26:50+00:00

Not true, they do need it otherwise they will be depressed and the dybamic in the relationship will be objectively fucked

Mouse_trap1 · 2020-07-20T14:23:19+00:00

A lot of women can become valuable partners by becoming slaves. Not to say this list in the OP describes a slave, but how it made me realise an interesting disparity in what women consider valuable for themselves and for their partner.

siempreloco31 · 2020-07-20T15:59:14+00:00

I see a lot of boring IT men in relationships that are neither funny, successful or interesting and are valued by their partners.

AnythingWithGloves · 2020-07-20T12:02:31+00:00

I fucking hate this post. Men like you are intimidated by the traits you don’t feel necessary in a partner. You want a sexually compliant partner who laughs at your jokes and stokes your ego and makes you feel smarter than her. Puke.

misiepatysie · 2020-07-20T07:44:39+00:00

Different people value different things. Ale being interesting is defined by what you find interesting.
An adventorous extrovert will probaby want a partner who likes social gatherings, traveling etc.
A shy nerd will prefer someone who is into gaming/anime/fantasy and sci- fi etc.
A generic person with no real interests will preffer someone equally generic.

flamingoinghome · 2020-07-20T14:35:23+00:00

Neither do men, if,

a.) They are very attractive,

and/or,

b.) They, like you assume women do, want "a partner"--that doesn't mean a partner you find desirable.

People have types. They want different things. You may not find a successful, interesting girl particularly appealing--but she might not be looking to attract you, either.

Bouletka · 2020-07-20T10:51:38+00:00

It's your problem if you don't need your partner to be successful, interesting or funny. Not anybody else's.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-07-20T06:50:55+00:00

[removed]

thewaytoawesome · 2020-07-20T17:02:32+00:00

Nah I need my women to be successful, making around the same I make.

SocraticBadger · 2020-07-20T17:11:31+00:00

intelligent (enough to keep up in conversations)

Isn't this just a variant of being interesting?

- is beautiful

- dresses appropriately

Is it really a good thing that you value looks over how interesting a woman is? You seem to suggest it's a bad thing for women to value how interesting a guy is over how good he looks.

laughs at your jokes

You complain that women want men who are funny, but you want a woman who thinks you're funny. How does that make any sense?

My fiancée is a white girl that grew up in a good family, goes to a normal college, likes anime. Nothing interesting specifically, but she's a great lady, and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

How do you define "interesting"?

StingRayFins · 2020-07-20T17:46:55+00:00

Women are born with ONE thing and that's literally all they need to make it in life. Their real job is to not abuse it or fuck it up because it can be thrown away and devalued.

To lock down a quality man she'll only need to do these things: respect, loyalty, honest, be sensual, and take care of herself and her man/family/children.

Men don't need women to be "strong and independent." They don't like bossy or loud women. They don't care if she has a nice care or house or job. She don't need status or money. She don't need to be a CEO. She doesn't have to be model or perfect. She doesn't have to be funny or clever. The man doesn't need approval from his family and friends. The man doesn't care about her followers or how many guys her body can get. He doesn't care if she's a "bad bitch" or "a queen' and all that nonsense.

Just keep it simple. In 2020, there's too much noise and trying to be this and that and trying to prove this and that. "I'm this" and "I'm that" and such. Nah. Stop.

A man MUST provide and protect or he ain't shit. He must have power and/or status and/or money or he ain't shit. He'll sleep in the corner of the street, he'll cry inside, he'll die in war, no one really cares. If he's broke he's broke. If he's not EXTREMELY hot and tall he's nothing.

If a man wants to be anywhere in life he MUST work hard with his efforts and dedication and that's all he has.

A women can:

(1) Also do the same. Focus on a career, work hard, and earn a good living.

or

(2) Use her body. She can easily make more than doctors and engineers within a year or two, working from home, and on her own hours if she really wanted to.

or

(3) Become a stay-at-home mom or wife. Just marry someone and you're all set. Read above... men will gladly marry the girl that works at Burger King if she is disciplined enough to keep those qualities. 99% of the time it's the girl who turn the commitment down, especially at a younger age.

Best of all is a women can do a combination of these or all three at the same time if she really wanted to! A man MUST do number (1)

MathSciElec · 2020-07-20T10:54:30+00:00

According to whom? I personally also consider those things important in a partner. Also, I don’t do those things just to be more attractive, and I’m pretty sure many women don’t either.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-07-20T07:01:12+00:00

[removed]

PPD-Angel · 2020-07-20T08:14:49+00:00

[removed]

GunBullety · 2020-07-20T11:08:31+00:00

I think you actually have a way longer list of demands than most guys.

I'd streamline it some-

laughs at your jokes
is supportive of you
kind, caring, humble
gives you lots of love
does anal

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2020-07-20T18:26:06+00:00

"My fiancée is a white girl that grew up in a good family, goes to a normal college, likes anime. Nothing interesting specifically, but she's a great lady, and I wouldn't trade her for the world."

I don't know what the fuck you are talking about. She seems plenty interesting to me? wtf?

renegadehoe · 2020-07-20T18:45:45+00:00

So she doesn’t need to be successful, but her job is still top of this list (??)

So she needs to have a job, doesn’t matter if even she’s any good at it, or if you perceive her job to be valuable- but she should still be intelligent (??)

So her intelligence is more valuable when reserved for your pleasure and not necessarily for her fulfillment in life as her own person (??)

“Dresses appropriately” ??? Why do men have the audacity to decide what’s appropriate for women to wear...

If I want to spend 2k of my own money on shoes every year.. why should he care? Since it’s so important that I have my own job anyways... why should he have the audacity to criticize how I spend MY money??

It honestly sounds like you’re just looking for a woman who is willing to make herself small in the quest for your validation so that you can shine as the “successful“ and “funny” one as she blends in with the decor.

Of course you don’t want her to be interesting. How small and insignificant would you feel constantly being confronted with the reality that the person you’ve come to depend on is more desired by others than you are. Wouldn’t that just make you easier for her to replace you... did it occur to you that instead of settling on a boring girl, you could just make yourself more pleasant to an interesting girl by being less of a patronizing dick?

Or course not. It’s much more comfortable for you to perpetuate this needless status quo.

carlsberg24 · 2020-07-20T08:03:46+00:00

Career choice is mostly irrelevant to a woman's relationship success. Being funny is also not a prerequisite so women, particularly attractive ones, never really develop the ability to crack jokes. They get attention without it. Being an "interesting" person is rather vague, but perhaps this is one quality that men would actually be looking for, especially high value men who have some choice available to them. What is universally sought by men is that their partner should be feminine, affectionate, and caring. And loyal, of course.

geyejoe7 · 2020-07-20T08:55:52+00:00

A lot of women responded here.

What I'm trying to say with this post is that women don't NEED (in general) these traits to be a valuable partner in a long term relationship.

Obviously I won't count hookups here because the only thing you need as a man for hookups is charm and looks, while for women it's just looks.

I'm not saying they won't be more valuable AT ALL if they're funny, have a good career or are a very interesting individual. But they don't NEED that.

Men NEED at least 1 of those traits in order to be a valued partner.

If the guy isn't funny at all, doesn't have a good job and doesn't seem like an interesting person, the only thing he's good for in a woman's mind are hookups. If he's hot at least.

Women LOVE funny men. They LOVE interesting, mysterious men. They LOVE men with high paying jobs and/or a good career path.

Lacking one or more of those can really put a dent into our value.

Whereas for women, ESPECIALLY attractive women, working at a grocery store, giggling when you make a joke and being lovey dovey all day is more than enough to make her seem as an amaizing partner.

SeemedGood · 2020-07-20T11:08:10+00:00

[deleted]

daddysgotanew · 2020-07-20T13:25:49+00:00

True. I’m tall, in decent shape, good looking, have all my hair, bachelors degree etc., and no one is knocking down my door. Still have to go out and pursue. Men are doers, women sit back and get the offers. At least as a man you can do something about your situation. If you’re a woman that isn’t even cute, it’s pretty much over

TheDONKnight · 2020-07-20T14:02:23+00:00

Men and women can never be equals.

If men stop taking out the trash, or stop maintaining civilization, sh** gets bad fast.

Title	Women don't NEED to be successful, funny or interesting to be a valuable partner. That's the difference.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	159
Comments	460
Date	July 20, 2020 6:46 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hugmax/women_dont_need_to_be_successful_funny_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-dont-need-to-be-successful-funny-or.717222 https://theredarchive.com/post/717222

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