What do people mean when they say women don’t want to settle down until they are 30 or ‘old’?

saladfingers4141 · 2021-05-10T03:53:39+00:00

I think they mean LTR with legitimate intentions of marriage. Which is weird because I think most people men and women start to look for that or be at least open to finding that well before 30.

30 would be more like the age that women who want to have children some day might to worry they haven’t found someone suitable yet but not the age that they start to look to settle down.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-05-10T05:24:36+00:00

Its the same as men, men and women both wanna have fun in their early 20s, the only reason an attractive man or woman would settle down at age 20 for example is if they met someone they REALLY clicked with. Or if they're a conservative christian or muslim lol.

Most people start looking seriously for marital partners in their late 20s, but many find them without looking in their early 20s. Like me 😁

icedhumblepie · 2021-05-10T06:31:42+00:00

It's interesting looking at worldwide stats on 'age of first marriage' by country.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_age_at_first_marriage

For the US it's:

Male 29.8 yo

Female 28.0 yo

Age Gap 1.8 years

And that's not taking into account engagement, nor initial courtship.

Suffice to say that the sort of people who write about relationships and comment about them on the internet are not representative of the overall population simply because the people who currently in established relationships discuss and write about other topics.

queen_beastmode · 2021-05-10T05:21:30+00:00

I am trying to understand what the posters mean by ‘settle down’ and how they come to the conclusion most women aren’t doing that until they reach exactly age 30.

That's ass backwards, so I guess those posters mean that their experience with women is that limited.

Most women I know are super relationship oriented and spend most of their 20's in long term relationships hoping for commitment. Some don't end up committed and then they start *freaking out* that their lives are over and their eggs will dry up at 30. Or they don't give a fuck because there was a good reason for them to be single. Depends on the women. The one's who are married by 30 are busting out babies and overworked.

TheLivingVoid · 2021-05-10T10:14:41+00:00

Hol up, people aren't dating with the intent to be married when they're young?

Why?

Decent_Foundation_62 · 2021-05-10T07:57:50+00:00

60% of women are married by 30, which likely means they met their long term mates from 18-27 or so. I think they're just wrong to be honest.

sexy420slutwhore · 2021-05-10T05:36:27+00:00

I think it just comes down to them secretly wanting a family & marriage themselves, but not being able to admit it. It's a projection of their own desires, maybe indicates when they reach a burn out point, and they need to pretend that the female counter parts are actually the ones who are experiencing the emotional exhaustion of having no one.

md8716 · 2021-05-10T06:15:07+00:00

It's not always about just having fun and settling down by an arbitrary age. Usually men with powerful or high earning careers spend their 20s laying the foundation for it rather than partying. That's what I was doing.

My wife wasn't crazy partying either, she was in a multiyear relationship that didn't pan out. By the time she got over it, we met each other.

Sometimes life just has to happen before you make a move.

Elevatedheart · 2021-05-10T10:43:22+00:00

Most divorces happen when people are married before 25 years old. This makes sense because most people are not mature enough in modern day. I would say 30 is probably a wise choice. At that point you’ve gotten a lot out of your system and will be less likely to cheat or think you’ve missed something.. most people are graduated from college by then and ready to settle down .. meaning get married have children..

BikePersonDotCom · 2021-05-10T04:32:45+00:00

What they mean is that they see so many different women appearing skanky when they're swiping on Tinder and jacking it to porn that they assume every single woman in the Western world must be spending her weekend being a cum dumpster for every guy except for them until she turns 30 and turns her laser vision on their wallet.

I'd have more sympathy for the POV overall if I saw lots of men in their 20s looking to start a family, but mysteriously I do not.

PS - I don't even like promiscuous behavior in men and women. But assuming that today's hookup culture is entirely the fault of women is very silly. After all, if Chad locked down Stacy that would be the end of it. And honestly, most women don't even participate - as a statistic - except maybe in super degenerate areas

NockerJoe · 2021-05-10T07:35:27+00:00

The realistic, non ideological answer is that a woman at 30 is probably looking for a totally different guy for that relationship than she would be at 20. People change.

The idological part is why that is. Most of the men who complain weren't in the group that got picked at 20, but are in the group in more demand towards 30. These men are understandably not pleased and are doubting the motivation behind the switch in priorities. You can't really expect people to be immediatley trusting if they've had largely negative experiences and suddenly a shift beyond their control means that the same people who would never have given them the time of day just a few years ago are suddenly giving them attention.

BigDudBoy · 2021-05-10T12:36:40+00:00

It's the concept of dual mating strategy. Women (while young, attractive, energetic) will sleep around in their late teens and twenties, then find some provider (a guy who will pay for her and her kids) to marry when their biological clock starts ticking in the late twenties or thirties.

The problem is that women who behave in exactly that way are common enough to support the concept. Additionally, it makes a ton of sense. Even growing up bluepilled, you will hear "don't worry, when your 25 women will be throwing themselves at you". Most hardworking, smart, but sexually unsuccessful young guys get told this. Then when they learn dual mating strategy, it fits into that societal rhetoric and is hard to disagree with based on their personal experience.

However, the most important part of that lesson is to not be happy about it. You realize "I'm not attractive now, but in the future I will be attractive despite looking / acting relatively the same". The only thing that changes is your ability to provide. Some men just accept it, but if I wasn't sexually successful by 25 I sure as hell would never marry because of exactly that thought process.

If you lurk mgtow enough you may see the phrase, "they don't love you, they love what you provide".

ariscaintv · 2021-05-10T15:30:27+00:00

It means when a female hits 30 her fertility starts to tank. Every year faster and faster. If she wants kids the traditional way she needs to start looking for a serious partner.

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-05-10T05:15:08+00:00

They say it because they're resentful spergs who think women are robots following a program of cock carousel -> hit the wall -> marry a beta -> divorce rape said beta -> something about cats.

A cursory glance outside would reveal a plethora of different life paths; but that would get in the way of a good story.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2021-05-10T04:01:28+00:00

Because they want the most fun they can get, which is in their 20’s. Women are forced to settled down in their 30’s because they want kids or the looks start to fade, so they HAVE to settle.

sootlord · 2021-05-10T11:54:55+00:00

Because Women don't want admit that they go through their wild/garden tool phase in their 20s.

When a Woman reaches 30s her looks have diminished significantly and she needs to leverage whatever sexual market value shes got left to secure a man. You'll also notice if you look on r/relationshipadvice you'll see men post something along the lines of "I found out my wife 32f was her last choice." Its the part of their life where they need to strongly consider "settling down" to secure her future.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2021-05-10T04:13:08+00:00

Around 30 women realize their biological clock is ticking, society is pressuring them, and her friends are married and having families. The last one is the most motivating or demoralizing.

Flaky-Professor · 2021-05-10T07:00:06+00:00

I have no horse in the race about settling down or whatever the topic is but you’re toeing the line on misinformation about advanced age pregnancy. The odds of a natural pregnancy at age 40 is slim, let alone 45. Women fret about motherhood around age 30 because of societal pressures and realizing that the timeline from meeting a partner to dating to marriage to pregnancy could push their family planning into risky territory.

Jakes1967 · 2021-05-10T10:47:37+00:00

What do people mean when they say women don’t want to settle down until they are 30 or ‘old’?

It's a play on the "Where are all the good men" rant, as these women bitching about the dearth of "Good men", are usually over 30.

Basically women usually don't want to settle down, whilst they have the advantage in dating, unfortunately they choose the period when men have the advantage and usually don't want to settle down.

DoomerMentality1984 · 2021-05-10T11:38:33+00:00

From what I have seen, it is basically “women like to sleep around, and then at age 30, when they’re all used up and gross, is when they want to settle down, and men don’t want that”.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-05-10T12:05:20+00:00

It’s just a further explanation of the phrase men hear from women so often that some men think women have a hive mind: “Where Are All The Good Men” or WAATGM.

Men hear women say this in their late 20’s and on and it’s basically like telling us that you spent your early and mid 20’s sleeping with every good looking dude who didn’t want you in an attempt to bag a relationship.

I hear it and immediately think she’s bad relationship material unless she proves otherwise.

I mean it could be that the particular woman has just run into a string of bad men who were somehow able to convince her that they wanted something serious, then blowed his load and hit the road...

OR, it could be that she wasn’t serious about a relationship until the cock carousel bucked her ass off... that is, until the pool of men willing to pretend to date her to get some easy sex started dwindling into nothing...

Either way, most average men don’t have a ton of sympathy because they’ve spent most of their 20’s playing Mr. Nice Guy and getting swerved for the guy that says “U Up?” At 2AM when he’s horny.

So “all the good men” are usually wifed up or have given up on the bloop shit that left them sexless and confused... and aren’t willing to settle down with Mrs “I’m ready to settle down now” or, loosely translated “I’m not longer getting the attention I used to get by offering sex, so I want a guy who will support me who I can use to get over my toxic exes”

Nirv127 · 2021-05-10T08:30:17+00:00

It could mean marriage too, but I immediately think of kids. It used to be 'have kids the right side of 30' meaning being close but under 30, and now it's more like 'waiting until you're at least 30'.

Probably because marriage can be seen as redundant for many, but also careers take longer to solidify and study for. Women are also seen as 'older' then men at this time, so there is ideas of feeling forced into commitment and relationships once they hit their 30s.

Personally I think a lot of those ideals are fucking stupid but they clearly resonate with some.

buntyisbest · 2021-05-10T10:19:17+00:00

When people talk about "settling down", what they usually mean is getting married and starting a family. The reason most modern women prefer not to settle down until their 30s is because they're more focused on building their careers and partying to their fullest while in their 20s. A lot of women believe this notion that once they're married, their career is over and their social life will start taking a major plunge. While that does happen in some cases, it's usually not true for the majority of the population - particularly people that live in the major cities and suburbs.

Willow-girl · 2021-05-10T11:56:16+00:00

There's no advantage to settling down unless you want to have kids, or you find a man who is simply so superior to all the rest that you fall madly in love and couldn't bear being without him. (Most guys are just not that special or interesting.)

Weary_Lingonberry717 · 2021-05-10T16:53:08+00:00

men tell women to not speed things up because they wanna take it slow, but they also tell women to hurry because they expire at 25-30.

just do whatever the fuck you want, most men (especially guys on these forums) don't care about women's well being, it's literally the opposite. they wanna spin the plates and fuck around till the age of 35-40 to settle down after that with a 20 yo woman but then get disapointed when they see that the attractive women in this age range don't want anything to do with them, unless they pay for it, which is why you constantly see them complaining about gold diggers.

SUEDE2BLACK · 2021-05-11T05:43:57+00:00

Because a lot of modern women want to chase degrees and careers...then wham they turn 29 realize they are down to their last few eggs all those hot guys and attention they got at 24 is starting to fizzle out.

I think marriage is stupid though and don't see the point for men.I think women get married for money and children which means money.But many women have their own money these days so for them I don't know why they would get married.

I know a few 6 figure women that will probably never marry they are all over 30 they may use invittro to have children but they better freeze some eggs,some women are doing that even in their 50s

I'm nearly forty and have never dated any one over 25 and never plan too.I know guys dating 34 year old single moms and I tell them to get therapy.

Every woman I ever dated had breast so firm they don't need a bra to hold them up.

Maybe I'm shallow but I want woman in her prime or as close to it as possible I wouldn't date a 19 or 20 year old their mentality doesn't work for me I have in the past but you gotta teach them everything.23,24,25 that's a sweet spot.

I wanna be like Hugh Heffner minus the marriage...I have a place over seas where that's possible. I wouldn't touch American women to save their life.

Ballface8020 · 2021-05-10T06:46:50+00:00

So out of curiosity, can people who say this please clarify what they mean?

They can't because they themselves don't know what the hell they mean. The redpill is 95% misogynistic paranoia mixed in with a 5% kernel of truth.

Namah-Mayco · 2021-05-10T03:53:36+00:00

Do they mean dating someone with explicit intentions of marrying them? Because most people regardless of their gender aren’t dating with the sole intention of getting married when they are young, so I fail to see how this is a women only thing

It's this, specifically directed at women that plan on having kids, because waiting longer is disadvantageous for women biologically, which in turn means that single men in the 30+ age range aren't typically gonna look for 30+ aged women, they're still gonna try to pair up with women in their 20s. It could sometimes refer to women in general though, if the person's referring to looks.

retal1ator · 2021-05-10T07:29:01+00:00

Around 30 is the age at which women start dating you because their biological clock is ticking, instead of dating you because they really like you.

This won't apply to all women, but for a good portion of single women approaching 30s, dating becomes more of a business venture than "seeking the love of her life".

NoCardiologist8249 · 2021-05-10T05:17:50+00:00

The age of marriage and having children has been steadily rising. Women are focusing on their education and careers before starting a family, which is a new concept. But since women are still having sex, some have come to the conclusion that women want to have a lot of casual sex and “sample” many different options before actually marrying and having children.

DrnknParrot · 2021-05-10T08:53:19+00:00

Looking back in hindsight, whilst I thought I was genuinely looking for a long term partner, at least passively, the reality was that I was still building myself and creating my own story at that stage of my life. I wouldn't have been willing, for example, to move across the country for a partner's job, if it meant sacrificing my own career. I also wanted to travel extensively, and generally have the freedom to steer my life in whatever direction I wanted without having to take another person's wants and needs into consideration. It was only when I was well into my 30's that I felt that I had explored and learnt enough to be able to point my life in the direction that I wanted to follow through to old age. At that point I could have comfortably settled down with someone who was on the same path as me.

801735 · 2021-05-10T14:39:42+00:00

until they reach exactly age 30.

It's not exactly. It can also be 31. lol And the panic can start setting in as soon as 25, often depends on when the 1st one of her frienemy group starts bashing them with her own pregnancy or engagement, sometimes even something as serious and permanent as the onset of divorce about 5-15 years down the line.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-05-10T06:30:56+00:00

30 is only a slight exaggeration. Famously, there's a phase referred to as the "epiphany phase" and this is right around the late 20s/early 30s. This is the age range you hear the lines "I'm done playing games," or, "I'm getting right with God," etc. Women basically shining a neon light on their dating profiles saying "I used to be a hoe but I swear I'm a good girl now!"

30 is considered old by some because this is the age at which pregnancy begins to get risky. That point I think is exaggerated by TRP community online. What really makes 30+ year old women "old" is the way they tend to behave. They're more stubborn, more disagreeable, more combative, equally entitled, less fertile, less chaste and less attractive than their early-twenties peers. So while I don't personally consider 30 to be "old," I do usually consider it to be "too old" or at least, the beginning of "old."

DREADC0RSAIR · 2021-05-10T03:44:41+00:00

Women feel social and biological pressure to arrange their lives for long term value extraction from a dude, as opposed to their their spinster early 20s.

FBI_Van_2274 · 2021-05-10T05:38:15+00:00

They want to fuck a different guy every night before settling for someone with money. Then it becomes "I have a headache" "I have an early meeting." "I'm just not a sexual person, okay?! Shit!"

PirateDocBrown · 2021-05-10T06:10:24+00:00

If women are "settling down", what does that say about the men they are "settling" for?

I'm not in this to be settled for. I want to be chosen. First, or nothing. She must make me the center of her relationship, and I her. Nothing less will do.

Relationships, marriages, are WORK. They must be your focus, your reason for doing all that you do.

SteveSan82 · 2021-05-10T10:31:32+00:00

More like 26-34

geyejoe7 · 2021-05-10T05:46:26+00:00

Basically, women wanna live their life like they're men. And wanna party young, use their youth and beauty to gain favours, and then turn around and settle down when their worth starts to fall drastically.

flamingoinghome · 2021-05-10T13:35:11+00:00

Tbh, I think that a decent number of women brush off guys they're not that into with "I'm not really looking for anything serious right now," same as men do to women, but guys on PPD take this weirdly literally instead of seeing it for the gentle excuse it is.

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samxx9 · 2021-05-10T13:23:35+00:00

To be fair, I can see how it's difficult to settle down before 30. So many people with weird career paths that take a while to really provide a stable decent livelihood. For example, I wanna be an aircraft pilot. As much as I'm pro family and pro stability and all that, I know that I'm not gonna be making decent money or really have any kind of job security until I'm like at least 30, probably older. Pilots are treated as disposable items until they find some kind of unionized airline job, and even then, the early years in the airline means all the worse shifts no one wants to have (like always being away on weekends) because seniority picks the shifts it wants.

I can only imagine a woman in some kind of other situation where she's got similar things to deal with. She'd be crazy to settle down, it wouldn't be a good idea. The reason people whine about this IMO is because they can't really get laid when they're younger and they're imagining that once people 'settle down' , girls will finally want them.

blueXcat · 2021-05-10T13:27:36+00:00

Settling down is when you sacrifice criterias to be in a relationship

Kellermann · 2021-05-10T14:26:26+00:00

FOMO of Mokebe's kutanga

Megabyte7637 · 2021-05-10T15:40:33+00:00

Interesting.

yungthrowaway97 · 2021-05-11T07:43:19+00:00

Both genders do now. People want to live their lives before settling. I think its a good thing

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-05-10T21:01:46+00:00

They’re mad that women in their teens and 20s aren’t dating/fucking them and are convinced that they’re fucking a bunch of “chads” instead, and then magically at the age of 30 these women will realize they’re dried up old hags and become desperate to settle down with “a nice guy” and pop out a few kids. At which point said “nice guy,” now of course a self-made millionaire, will say “Aha mlady, I decline, for thine eggs are withered and thine vagine hangeth like the sleeve of a wizard, mine lively sperms shall be spent only on the fresh womb of a maiden of eighteen!”

Of course this revenge fantasy is bullshit because a) most women are not sleeping around with chads in their 20s, and b) the vast majority of these guys will never become rich and never be desirable to the type of women they want. They’re just trying to shame and scare attractive young women into settling down with a scrubby guy like them.

Title	What do people mean when they say women don’t want to settle down until they are 30 or ‘old’?
Author	SowClips
Upvotes	120
Comments	407
Date	May 10, 2021 3:42 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/n8v2yl/what_do_people_mean_when_they_say_women_dont_want/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-people-mean-when-they-say-women-dont-want.757984 https://theredarchive.com/post/757984

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