"You earned my respect by not sleeping with me, actually", said the man who tried to relationship-fake me into banging him

HereForTheFreeFoodOk · 2021-07-15T15:34:27+00:00

This man dedicated an entire fake persona into tricking me into banging him,

Men fake entire personalities to be with women

Then once they hook her - they resent her because they never actually liked her core being to begin with.

Then - the woman is confused as to why he changed so suddenly.

Then he feels entitled to cheat.

Rinse. Wash. Repeat.

arnezuara · 2021-07-15T15:37:13+00:00

LV/NV men see respect as something transactional. They yield it like it’s a cookie that women have to beg for.

thatjimmylove · 2021-07-15T15:28:02+00:00

Wow, my god and that is supposed to make you want to sleep with him now.

Any man who treats women like a game and with zero respect can take that energy to hell

Wild_Artio · 2021-07-15T16:47:48+00:00

Honestly… he prob thought that if he said he respected you for not sleeping with him you’d maybe want to sleep with him. That’s how twisted these asshats are. Thinking respect earns them “pussy points” or some bs.

Waste-Win · 2021-07-15T16:54:56+00:00

His respect worth nothing, good riddance.

Yellowsunflowerlover · 2021-07-15T16:01:34+00:00

I remember my ex once told me "I'm proud of you for not sleeping with me the first time we went out and we were drunk. I would have lost respect for you and not made you my girlfriend".

This was almost 12 years ago and still pisses me off, how stupid I was to still have been like "ohhh he's sooo awesome"!

Scrotes respect NO women. Not even their own mothers half the time -_-

sleutherino · 2021-07-15T15:12:42+00:00

He hits me back with all sorts of excuses: "I never considered seeing someone consistently in a while (except he pretended he wanted a relationship to get me to bang him) i'm not a good texter (he was when he was trying to bang!)

They alwaaaaaays say this shit, as if we're incapable of noticing the difference before and after.

Goes from near instant replies to whenever-he-gets-around-to-it replies. Like, who wouldn't notice the difference?

They really think we're that dumb, and that they're so fucking sly and smart with these lame ass excuses. 😒

InaneObservations · 2021-07-15T15:11:40+00:00

That basically deserves a Mean Girls meme that says "So you agree you don't respect women?"

Like, no shit dude. That's why no one wants to fuck you.

2021-07-15T17:25:09+00:00

He doesn’t even actually respect you for that. It was a last attempt to impress you enough for you to maybe feel comfortable with him again. That’s literally the classic “Lol you fell for it, I was just testing.”

ussr_ftw · 2021-07-15T18:10:45+00:00

That's why we never. stop. vetting. This is an abuser's playbook, and good on you for not giving him the time of day after he showed his true colours. You responded perfectly. Congrats for dodging him!

You're a really good example of how to handle scrotes like this.

shutup201 · 2021-07-15T17:59:22+00:00

It must be nice to think you're so high and mighty you can judge another for doing the same mess you're doing. Superiority complexes, the whole lot of em.

The crap women have to dea withl to try and find a mate or to simply live is not right by any means.

UnashamedWench · 2021-07-15T19:48:34+00:00

"That makes sense, since you lost my respect by trying to sleep with me."

WinterDoughnut · 2021-07-15T20:05:16+00:00

Men are so predictable and boring. Dating is not even fun anymore.

Aksentia_Ivanovitcha · 2021-07-15T19:43:02+00:00

"You earned my respect by not sleeping with me"= "i think you have a need to hear that i respect you before you agree to hookup. Because every communicatiom with a woman involves guessing the password to unlock her pu**y".

queen-wannabe · 2021-07-15T19:45:34+00:00

Why do men always place importance on whether a woman has sex with him or not? It’s like saying her worth lies in having intercourse. Regardless if she does it with him or not. If she does, she’s a “slut” and a wHoRe CuMdUmP (excuse me for my harsh language, this is what they literally refer to women who have sex on the first date as.) or the towns bike. Or.. if she doesn’t, she’s a pUrE vRiGiN who is worthy of his disgusting “Chad” scrote cock. It feeds into the stigma too that women are suppose to be saving themselves for marriage, while men can go around, fucking as many women as their ugly, rotten dirty sex-thirsty hearts desire. That it’s entirely fair for them to do so, while if a girl does it... well, she’s depreciated and used, damaged goods. That is meant for “pump and dump”ing. Her existence is just to please men, and to be expected to be left. All because she sleeps with a lot of guys.. while men can do it, all without a problem, all without any issues. And they’re praised for it.. too. For having stick their pencil dicks in many women. It’s fucking hypocritical, I hate how society, how the patriarchy, has embedded, brainwashed this into all of us. When men say you’ve earned their graces by not jumping in bed with them... what they’re really saying is that, all the worth they see in you is in your pants. Nothing else. Nothing more. All they’re admitting is that your vagina is the only important part of you.

More_Pothos · 2021-07-15T15:21:02+00:00

Lmao, I’d call him a petulant man-child, but that doesn’t seem quite right given the real danger he poses to women who don’t have as much sense and self-respect as you do.

quasarbar · 2021-07-15T20:22:45+00:00

I can't stand men like that. There's gotta be a special place in hell for them.

You lost my respect by faking a relationship in order to bang, dude. Take your respect and shove it.

vforvendetta87 · 2021-07-15T16:14:56+00:00

“You actually earned my respect by not sleeping with me” is manipulation, trust me. He doesn’t think like that. At all. He was attempting to flip the script to appear like an altruistic dude. He’s not. If the shoe were in the other foot and you ended up sleeping with him, his demeanor would be a lot different. This is borderline sociopathic if not narcissistic behavior. You saved yourself a ton of emotional and psychological abuse that would’ve happened early in the relationship. I know this because a couple of years ago I dated a sociopath and he pulled this psychological shit on me after I found him trying to seduce multiple women on social media, while we were 100% committed to each other. I remember one comment in particular that makes me chuckle today but back then I didn’t realize how abusive it was. During our “relationshit” he seemed to have no issue with my promiscuous past and even said he was himself, claiming he slept with 100 women. Well, after d-day, he flipped the script and OBSESSIVELY belittled me for my sexual past and said that he lied about sleeping with 100 women because he felt insecure of my past and wanted to be equal to me (no, my count is NOT that high, whew). So, he proceeded to call me a slut, c*m-rag and a bunch of other degrading words ALL because I caught him cheating. It was 100% abuse.

Ya dodged a huge bullet.

ussr_ftw · 2021-07-15T18:08:19+00:00

That's why we never. stop. vetting. This is an abuser's playbook, and good on you for not giving him the time of day after he showed his true colours. You responded perfectly. Congrats for dodging him!

You're a really good example of how to handle scrotes like this.

swaylyn · 2021-07-15T19:18:02+00:00

I think he respected the challenge presented with you not sleeping with him, He’ll never respect a woman.

Smdh trash. Proud of you for seeing through him and HOLDING to your standards!

VividPsychology7 · 2021-07-15T20:20:46+00:00

NVM/LVM who only see women as “girlfriend material” if they don’t sleep with them within the first few dates/weeks/whatever are controlling narcissists. It has nothing to do with respect because if they genuinely had any shred of respect for any woman they wouldn’t say or think shit like that.

They want to have the upper hand in relationships and put themselves on a pedestal in that women have to “earn” a relationship with them by behaving in a specific way. They see relationships as purely transactional because they’re incapable of developing feelings towards women, because of their controlling, narcissistic nature mentioned above.

I suspect there’s an element of projection a lot of the time too because they think that if a woman sleeps with them “too soon”, she must be seeing other people as well with whom she is doing the same. They think this because THEY are probably seeing other women themselves, and whoever makes him “wait the longest” “wins” a relationship with him 🤮 it’s honestly disgusting.

Protoetype · 2021-07-15T16:45:36+00:00

Maybe men should try earning a woman's respect by NOT trying to sleep with her.

A man that only respects a woman that refuses to sleep with him is admitting he's shit.

munissa · 2021-07-15T16:33:52+00:00

It’s block o’clock. Glad you saw through all his shit.

Human_Summer_1709 · 2021-07-15T17:11:47+00:00

The worst part of the this entire debacle is the latent attitude that we women need to "earn their respect." As if we are from the get-go placed in a lesser-than status than they are and need to "prove" ourselves to them that we are worthy of them treating us like full human beings.

They can FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Sireyn · 2021-07-15T17:51:37+00:00

Ghosts you for a week and then says "thanks for the ghost" like a bitter little bitch. The delusion is next level.

You're awesome for sticking to your values and subsequently discovering the depths of his scrotacity!

Eden199607 · 2021-07-15T15:24:41+00:00

This happens ALL the time, no matter where you are on the globe.

I matched with a man on Bumble many months ago who told me the same story: that he was looking for something serious and wanted to have a meaningful relationship with me. I only continued chatting with him on the app as he made his intentions clear.

We met for the first time and he gets ridiculously touchy. Had the audacity to ask me to get down on him, and that too in a PUBLIC SETTING. I refused to when he kept bugging and he got so mad, he changed his tune after the date. Told me “I don’t think I can commit now as my course in university is demanding. I can’t have anything serious.”

Yeah alright, mini frankfurter.

Inspection-Critical · 2021-07-15T16:15:52+00:00

"thanks for the ghost"

What a passive-aggressive shitmonger.

Koolkat30625 · 2021-07-15T15:57:31+00:00

Unfortunately alot of men do this. They lie and play the role of devoted boyfriend until they get what they want which is sex. And if they succeed in having sex with you then all of a sudden they have to much going on with work or personal life to be in serious relationship but they have time to have sex with you when they are in the mood for sex. On the flip side when you don't fall for their charade they usually get upset or continue with the charade hoping they can convince you to change your mind. So, what you experienced is the norm rather then the exception.

peregrine_swift · 2021-07-15T17:11:43+00:00

Amazing what they are willing to do, including future faking to get what they want. It blows my mind how many women are commenting on here almost the exact same thing. No one should have to work this hard to meet a decent man. It's like psychopathy is an epidemic, and they are the ones with the mask!

Watzoo · 2021-07-15T20:53:16+00:00

Oh god. I heard this so often.

Why would you try to get someone to lose your respect? Why would you sleep with someone you don’t respect? Why would you intentionally lower the value of someone who likes and wants to benefit you?

This type of man is too broken to fix, let alone date. Dump him with the quickness.

happygolukcy · 2021-07-15T19:28:15+00:00

Had this almost exact experience as well. They will literally pursue you relentlessly then when you reject in some last ditch ego saving effort be like "ah yes, I respect girls who reject my advances anyway". Fuck off.

ContestIcy5237 · 2021-07-15T16:16:21+00:00

It's all bullshit nonsense in order to try to manipulate us into banging them. The ol "Achstually, you earned my respect by not being a whore!" "You're not like other girls" "I've never met a girl like you" They think isolating us from other women makes them seem more appealing. I roll my eyes every time I hear this bs.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-07-15T21:21:54+00:00

A Pickmeisha probably would be all too happy to jump through hoops to “earn” this trash man’s respect.

The joke is on her, though. She might gain respect for a few days or just a few minutes. But his default is to return to disrespect. She’s going to have to earn it again and again.

This is what makes a scrote a scrote: he does not view women as equals or worthy of respect. We’re just here to ask, “What else do I have to do to please you?” for these NVMs.

Barf and fuck off, scrote.

asianinindia · 2021-07-15T15:54:21+00:00

Yeah because his respect is really worth that fucking much ugh I swear these people are deluded.

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-07-15T16:15:08+00:00

I would have replied: WOW I earned your respect, now what?

modemarkt · 2021-07-15T17:05:06+00:00

This has happened to me. I went on a date with a guy who didn’t even live here. He was American but was living abroad in Berlin for some tech program - he actually had a legitimate job and was Ivy League educated so he checked off all those boxes for me. Anyways he was here visiting family, we matched online and the only reason why I went on a date with him is because we’re from the same culture and I live in an area that is very densely populated with people from our culture and I have cousins who live in other states/cities but they literally come here just to find someone to date because they wanna date within. So I just assumed that’s what this guy was doing too. Well I was wrong, he was just trying to get laid. Which I don’t understand because considering the way our culture is, like he would know 100% that I wouldn’t do that with him on a first date. So anyways at the end of the day he starts suggesting something about going back to HIS PARENTS HOUSE of all places and my face literally went 😳 and I told him I don’t do that unless I’m in a relationship and he goes “wow I really like that”.

Pointedancer101 · 2021-07-15T19:33:56+00:00

The more time I spend on this subreddit, the more I wish I wasn’t attracted to men. The way they view and treat women is absolutely disgusting, and they can’t take it when we treat them the same way. I’m so grateful for FDS but it’s mind blowing and awakening and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at men the same way ever again.

_electrafire · 2021-07-15T17:07:44+00:00

Block & delete, don’t reply!

blackmetalbetty · 2021-07-15T20:55:30+00:00

Gosh, the respect of a sex crazed manipulative psychopath-what an honor! Lol

08__80 · 2021-07-15T20:32:07+00:00

A guy said that to me a long long time ago (I must have been somewhere between 19-21?) and I tried to gotcha him with:

"So you don't respect girls who sleep with you?"

But he didn't even get it, he proceeded to explain to me how all those girls are skanks who don't deserve to be respected, and I passed the test because I'm not like the other girls. Like.......... Oh.

Never spoke to him again after that. Men who put women into categories of 'to be respected' and 'to be disrespected' are trash. He better treat even the worst LVW Pickmeisha with no respect for herself with respect. How you really treat others when no one you value is watching is who you are.

Also, 100% positive the 'I respect you now' thing was just another line to trick me into hopping in bed with him. Oh, now that you respect me, you can have some LOL. They think they are so smart.

lolmemberberries · 2021-07-15T22:32:20+00:00

His respect is worth very little by his own admission. I hope you blocked him.

mscristalconnors · 2021-07-15T20:41:40+00:00

They get off pain and manipulation. What’s new? Glad you got rid of that trash bag.

kinkardine · 2021-07-15T20:25:22+00:00

What we consider a life .. is a kink for them, we are just kinks.

breadandbunny · 2021-07-16T01:12:36+00:00

I can't imagine going through life just trying to trick every person who comes my way. There are a lot of narcissistic men out there. This behavior is pathological. I'm glad you didn't fall for it, and I pity the people who go forth with good intentions and fall for this fuckery.

PowerVerse_ · 2021-07-15T19:27:14+00:00

He’s moving the goal post.

GreatOrchidAmbition · 2021-07-15T20:33:20+00:00

It clicked with me a while back. THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.

firstaidgirl · 2021-07-15T20:23:26+00:00

This happened to me when I was 18! The guy told me he lost respect for me (even though he was into it) after I slept with him (dumb me. I know better now). He told me, "no offence, but yes I do think you're easy. I love when a woman tells me no. I consider her marriage material." I kid you not, he told me this. So basically just don't fuck men, pursue your own life, and carry on without them.

Shellyxxyxx · 2021-07-15T19:24:40+00:00

Like a dusty’s “respect” really holds any weight, at all 😂

HumanAdhesiveness360 · 2021-07-15T21:28:08+00:00

Aw! If I could send you a badge or a prize I would. You are a queen! Argh. I adore

Newwavesupport3657 · 2021-07-16T05:19:06+00:00

Coercion is so so common and it’s why men scare me. Hell even my roommate complained to me that her bf kept punishing her and getting passive aggressive because she refused to have sex with him after she got hit by a semi and sprained her back.

They are selfish and get an ego boost from “scoring.” It’s rape to coerce a woman. It’s intimidating. It’s abusive. So many men do this.

Glad you dodged a speeding bullet. What a narcissist.

Reception_Queasy · 2021-07-16T00:58:58+00:00

Men who know they are worth it and think you are worth it too will not look for sex on the first date or even wait until you are ready.

This guy I've been with since ages who's got all the characteristics that a HVM has, has started displaying some red flags and I think he may have faked a personality knowing what I like in men ( we've been friends for a long time before we begun dating) let's hope things go well 😪

catsarepawsome · 2021-07-16T06:32:08+00:00

HA, so your prize for passing this shit test is his respect. . . but only until you actually *do* sleep with him, then you fall into the same category of all the poor women who fell for his fuckery before. where is the logic here?

Ivyg4 · 2021-07-15T19:06:03+00:00

Sounds like went out with my ex?

pissedoffmolly · 2021-07-16T01:37:09+00:00

Can someone explain the difference between love bombing and HVM are supposed to act? Like what are the red flags we should be looking for?

Newwavesupport3657 · 2021-07-16T05:16:36+00:00

They know what the fuck they’re doing and they lie and gaslight and blame so they don’t have to sit with their shame and they’re only ashamed when they get caught!! 😡😤

instantsilver · 2021-07-15T21:22:12+00:00

This reminds me, a long time ago I was telling this guy that I was interested that all guys try to fuck on the first date. He immediately got defensive and said "not all guys!" I said "except that you tried to have sex with me on our first date." Silence. Idiots 🙄

Singngkiltmygrandma · 2021-07-15T17:56:18+00:00

Jesus! 🤮

Academic_Ninja_9242 · 2021-07-15T20:18:32+00:00

i think we dated the same guy lol

foxorhedgehog · 2021-07-16T00:08:05+00:00

Says “You actually earned my respect by not sleeping with me” while thinking “maybe now she’ll sleep with me!”

Derivative31224 · 2021-07-16T00:11:57+00:00

The man you are describing sounds like my nex, glad you got out to safety early!

BlackGirlKnickers · 2021-07-15T18:38:01+00:00

Why didn't you block him all together? Were you wanting him to reach out? Handbook says to block and delete to keep you from having further conversation with him. The entire DM convo could have been avoided if you would have blocked him. I kinda think you wanted him to reach out to see what he says. Honestly most of us would, but it protects us from the lash out of a butt hurt scrote and having to feel like you owe them an explanation.

I know it can be hard to implement these rules, but in order to have 100% control, we have to. I want to stress that I'm not mad at you, but please block and delete in the future. Don't let him have real estate in your head. This post should not have been a thing.

BigDebbie4ever · 2021-07-16T23:18:33+00:00

So if you spent an enjoyable, consensual night together you'd lose a guy's respect?

Men ruined sex.

Do they want to go back to the days of no sex, only marriage

Title	"You earned my respect by not sleeping with me, actually", said the man who tried to relationship-fake me into banging him
Author	kinnsao
Upvotes	2000
Comments	133
Date	July 15, 2021 3:07 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/okuqbr/you_earned_my_respect_by_not_sleeping_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/you-earned-my-respect-by-not-sleeping-with-me.792758 https://theredarchive.com/post/792758

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