Weekly FDS Check-in

PeaceExternal51 · 2021-09-06T14:40:54+00:00

I'm so glad to have found FDS on reddit! I saw all the posts about a female terrorist subreddit and decided to see for myself what it was about. As it turns out I found my people here and I decided to stick around (even though I'm married). I have daughters and learn so much about what it will be like for them out there. Keep going Queens! Also...podcast is great too ❤

candyfox84 · 2021-09-06T15:57:13+00:00

Lately, it seems the posts have gone back to a really negative slant. This isn’t a page to vent about the LVMs you continue to allow in your life, is it? It’s a space to level up and be smart using the strategy. I’m all for supporting each other, but not dissecting LVMs to the 10th degree. If he’s LVM, move on. I thought the MODS recently made a post refocusing the sub? If you’re new around here, maybe go through the archives before you post.

PenneyPence · 2021-09-06T15:53:44+00:00

I’m staying with my parents for the holiday weekend and found my old diary from college in my room. I would like to call it the Pickme Chronicles because it is really bad. Everything FDS warns about, I was doing: FWB that was neither friendly nor beneficial. Getting dreadgamed and breadcrumbed by guys who only returned my texts at 2am when they wanted to have sex. Wondering why this always happened to me when literally all I needed to do was block and delete at the first sign of disrespect.

My personal favorite sounds like a satirical post making fun of Pickmes: “my only concern about this new guy is that he has an assault conviction, which he seemed honest about. He says he doesn’t like to use condoms, which I’m not cool about so he’ll have to get over that. Besides that, he seems normal.”

I stopped this nonsense years ago, but I wish FDS could go back in time 20 years and save me.

night_glitter · 2021-09-06T17:40:52+00:00

This isn’t big enough to justify an entire post about it, but I used my FDS learning to vet a LVM recently! Covid is bad in my part of the US, so I’ve been using OLD to practice vetting, post-divorce. Not surprisingly, I haven’t been on a date yet. But for a few days, I had some interesting convo with a man, so we did a phone call.

Omg the red flags! He did most of the talking, about himself. He used offensive language (I am fine with swearing, but who still uses the R-word?!?), he talked about porn, he deliberately mispronounced the name of a favorite artist of mine (think saying Lady GooGoo instead of Gaga), talked about his love for fast food...the list goes on.

He clearly thought it was going well and asked me if I thought I would like to meet, and I got to tell him that I didn’t think we were compatible. I didn’t give him all those red flag reasons why either - listed a couple of nicer ones. At first, he tried to convince me that even if I didn’t see us as compatible, that we could be a fun short-term thing. Translation: he figured he’d see if I was down for some easy sex. I turned that down too, and when I checked the app after our call, he’d already unmatched.

I missed early red flags in my relationship with my ex-husband, so I was happy that I was able to notice so many in just a first phone convo with this guy. Thanks FDS!

ello-motto · 2021-09-06T19:15:57+00:00

Can we talk about the cultural misogyny and LVM glorification pushed by Drake's new album, cover and lyrics?

The album is called "Certified Lover Boy" and features 12 emojis of pregnant women of mainly Black, Hispanic and Asian descent. 5 black women, 4 hispanic women, 2 asian women and ONLY ONE BLONDE WHITE WOMAN.

As a POC, I was furious at the album cover. Fuck them for linking the visual imagery of something as sacred as a woman's pregnancy to LVM culture of being deadbeat dads that fuck and duck as soon as a woman gets pregnant. Or the other aspect of LVM culture, the more women you impregnate the more you are a "certified lover boy". Fuck this disgusting Handmaid's Tale BS they're trying to glamorize in society... in 2021!! Wtf?! 🤢🤮

And why is that all these pregnant knocked-up women on an album titled "Certified Lover Boy" were women of color? It makes it even most disgusting to know it was a white male, Damien Hirst, who imagined up this shit.

The songs on the album aren't any better. Drake has turned full creepy rapper that fucks his fans vibes, and makes songs that sound like cringy journal entries trying to justify and rationalize his own LV, pornsick behavior.

I've seen so many guys and girls celebrate his new album on social media. And for what? These girls are celebrating a new indoctrinator of LV values, and these men are continuing to celebrate the bar for male behavior going lower than Hades' butt cheeks.

90860008 · 2021-09-06T17:18:41+00:00

Just went on a date with a dude from hinge. It went pretty well and the convo flowed smoothly with no rude or sexual comments from him. We will see how this plays out!!

Risas1239 · 2021-09-06T19:13:54+00:00

Living alone for the first time- bought flowers and a plant. Would love to hear about ways to warm up a new apartment, or to socialize with neighbors (I live in a university apt. building).

Also looking to stretch/frame a painting without breaking the bank.

I’m just so excited and happy you guys 🌻🌻

Update: You guyyys!!! The leader of my uni’s women’s organization lives down the hall. I sparked conversation with her in the elevator and am so grateful I did. Looks like I’m making friends already 🌸

ivory_727 · 2021-09-06T14:26:31+00:00

I broke up with my toxic boyfriend last weekend and pawned the diamond necklace he bought me for Christmas.

Feeling great.

turtleshame · 2021-09-06T18:43:19+00:00

Just a small public service, but a vocal bully has taken over my community social media pages on Facebook and spams them with LV content. This page is supposed to be: Julie’s cat is missing. The page is not supposed to be: rambling memes about Politics.

His last post was the one that broke the proverbial camel’s back, and now several women have started calling out his misogyny and racism publicly and it is glorious.

He has no idea how to react because on the one hand, it’s attention from women, but on the other, we’re telling him to go fuck himself. So he’s doubled down. Tripled down. Making dozens of sexist, racist, and boarder line violent comments a day. Also, because scrotes interpret any interaction as sexual interest, he keeps slipping in what I can only describe as details from his Tinder bio. Combined the whole thing is a popcorn worthy epic spanning days that is still going.

It’s also all public, where any woman who thinks about dating this fool can google his name and see it. If she goes ahead after reading that mess - well, you get what you get. He links all of his social media together & to his company.

Oops.

But because he’s an arrogant scrote, he cannot just shut the fuck and thinks he’s winning the argument even though none of the people in the threads are actually arguing with him.

Dude blew up his entire social media presence to be a bag of dicks online and he has no idea. I’m guessing he’s going to end up with his account banned.

Women working together to expose a scrote: you love to see it.

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2021-09-06T20:03:43+00:00

I have a friend who started seeing this guy in our friend group. He asked to be exclusive but they aren’t officially dating. It is so confusing and the whole ordeal makes no sense. According to my friend, they’re “talking”. He got mad at her when she said she had a date with another guy lined up and that’s when he asked to be exclusive. He claimed he was wanting to “take things slow and see how it goes” because he was afraid if they broke up it could cause drama in the friend group. So he doesn’t want her seeing anyone else other than him, but he also won’t say they’re dating or call her his girlfriend. I told her his behavior was a red flag and she agreed, but she also is wanting to wait it out and give him time to get his act together. He seems like a commitment phobe and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was talking to other women on the side. I can already tell this LVM is gonna waste her time

spiderunderweb · 2021-09-06T21:20:21+00:00

Submitted my assignments on time and taking time out each morning to read by the lake at University. I have been perfecting my matcha green lattes. Yesterday was a huge day for me, I called the police on some male employees at a pub who were catcalling women as they walked passed trying to get them to purchase from their pub. It was causing a public discomfort and for the first time I ran after these young women making sure they were okay before getting the courage to call the police.

I am glad i did it

misscyansiren · 2021-09-06T17:53:39+00:00

My ex (before we started dating) followed all of my friends on twitter, even the ones he has never met before. He also liked every tweet I have ever posted (like 50 tweets at the time). In retrospect, were these red flags or am I reading too much into it?

Breesasha · 2021-09-06T20:06:24+00:00

This weekend since my pickme friends are with their partners and I'm single. I did visit my parents yesterday and had a intimate little family bbq. But Friday I went to Reno to a concert by myself for a rock band that I've loved since middle school. For the first time ever, a solo concert!! It's empowering me to do another one in November. I'm excited because old me would have asked my friends to go, they would have said no for various reasons, and then I would have just stayed home.

Professional-Ad-457 · 2021-09-06T22:13:02+00:00

189,538 - we’ll hit 200,000 FDS members soon! 🎉🎈💃🥂

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-09-06T19:52:45+00:00

I hear back about a job offer at the end of the week. It would require me to move across the country. I'm nervous about such a big decision.

SpiteTomatoes · 2021-09-07T12:10:51+00:00

So tired of men in school group chats giving me unsolicited advice. I ask a pretty basic question and they give me advice that has nothing to do with the question, but makes me look like a fucking idiot. For instance, asking for class recommendations to fill up my schedule and being told not to ask students for scheduling advice, but to see my advisor. Yes, obviously my plan is to see my advisor before scheduling classes, I just wanted to know if anyone had taken an interesting class they recommend since none of the classes I need are available. I'm not an idiot, I don't want your help scheduling classes.

childish-penguino · 2021-09-07T16:08:01+00:00

It took me so long, but I’m finally in the middle of a breakup with my LVM and FDS is partially to thank! It’s time to move on to bigger and better things for myself. I also have a round 2 interview for a dream position tomorrow!

Like y’all.. this man cancelled plans we made (that I requested off for!) and then ghosted me for almost 5 days.. now he’s upset that I’m on day 3 ignoring him and I should “at least say something”. Why are you more worthy of a response than me? This seems more like a situationship than a relationship (almost 3 years at that!) and I’m at the point where I crave my own company more.

Now it’s time to read to make sure this doesn’t happen to me again ❤️

PixiesGem · 2021-09-08T15:31:24+00:00

My 6 year old daughter asked my HVM to play minecraft with her. He just got here from a long day of work and said, "how about we play after dinner?" She happily agreed. We finished eating. He set the game up and called her, "ready to play?" She gleefully ran over and they played for an hour, he indulged her in building all the silly things she wanted. Her LV father would have responded to her request to play by saying "maybe tomorrow" and he would have never initiated the game himself hoping she would forget about it.

It was such a little thing for my HVM to do but it was such a contrast to the effort the LVM would have made that it really stuck out to me and reinforced my belief that if they truly cared, they would make the effort.

sparklez4evz · 2021-09-07T17:04:34+00:00

So, I did my first FDS-inspired block and delete the other day! It came about unexpectedly, and I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the absolute audacity of this scrote.

For some background, I have been single and celibate by choice for over a year now as I work on leveling up. I moved across the country to be closer to family last year and have been working two jobs and going to school full-time, and I have been too busy and preoccupied to even breathe in the direction of a man.

Before I moved (and well before FDS), I had been spending some time with a FWB who was in my social circle. I wasn't interested in him as a partner, but I did consider him a friend, and we spent a good amount of time together and hooked up several times before I left. Since then, we haven't really spoken other than a few friendly interactions on social media which were initiated by him.

The other day, he sent me a text message asking if I had time to chat on the phone because he wanted to "get something off his chest." He proceeded to call and inform me that because I had expressed sadness about leaving before I moved, he was under the impression that I had been expecting a relationship from him, and he wanted to make it clear that all he had wanted from me was sex. He didn't feel bad about using me for sex, mind you, he only felt bad that he hadn't communicated it to me at the time. He then proceeded to ramble on about how he was in therapy and in a good place now and wanted to "clear the air" with me so he could feel better about himself.

I was a bit blindsided by this, so I was nice enough on the call, and I just told him that I hoped the conversation had made him feel better. After we hung up and the more I thought about it, though, the more it pissed me off. I could not even believe the audacity this 5'6, snaggle-toothed manlet must have had to assume that because I was sad to be moving away from friends that it meant I was pining away for him this whole time. One, I am objectively miles more attractive than him, and two, I have not even tried contacting him since I left. A year and a half later, he just had to make sure I knew that I had been nothing more than a glorified fleshlight. How rude and insulting is that?

Needless to say, he is now blocked and deleted, and this interaction reinforced several of FDS's teachings for me. FWBs and casual sex are a waste of time, and men are not our friends. Thanks to this sub, I will never involve myself in a situation like this again!

warinmymind94 · 2021-09-08T17:05:11+00:00

Started talking with a former classmate i hadn't seen in years. He started making the conversation flirty and he got 🚩sexual fast. But I strayed from FDS and we started telling each other stories🚩. He had told me about his ex in detail 🚩and what he liked. Against my better judgment, I entertained this, im on vacation, I justed wanted one night of a break and to have some fun talk 🤡. I said what was your best sex? Mine was when I did x,y,z one night the dude put a hat on me and had a great Playlist going.

That was all I said. I hardly even mentioned the ex! My old classmate got butt hurt wrote me paragraphs about how im "still obsessed thinking about my ex and my mind is toxic" and how I am "already comparing him to my ex by putting him on a pedestal" and how "go back to that if you want. Im my own person i have a clean slate and im not gonna be around for your comparisons".

Theyre so fragile and insecure.he has a double standard and a lot of unhealed trauma from his ex he projected onto me in this short interaction. This is what I get for straying from FDS for ONE DAY. Don't drink and take calls/texts.

Needless to say I'm done. Closing myself off to reconnecting /dating again. I'm done.

waddamelone · 2021-09-06T20:08:34+00:00

Was talking to a grown ass man who seemed nice. But some of the things he would do or say made me go “hmmm..”. They weren’t major red flags but still.

During the last 2 weeks of us talking he showed that he doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore. I won’t say that it’s entirely his fault that it ended. And that’s also why I was a bit bummed because I really started liking him.

But in hindsight it wouldn’t have worked anyways. This is a great reminder to follow the fds guidelines and your intuition mbecause they work. If I hadn’t followed the big lines, I would’ve been heartbroken right now. But oh well. Shit happens and we move! Enough men who are willing to be everything that women want and more.

aquietsword · 2021-09-09T20:27:52+00:00

Quick rant because the idiocy out there is insane. What the FUCK is it with men who pull the "if the roles were reversed" card in situations where the roles have been reversed for decades?? They could not make it any clearer how they've been the coddled sex for centuries and now that they are getting the slightest taste of their own medicine they can't handle it. Women making jokes at their expense, for ONCE, really turns them into a bunch of scrote babies and it's not cute.

Zeniite · 2021-09-06T21:28:49+00:00

The things that have helped warm up my apartment most is putting paintings on the walls. If not for the paintings I inherited, I would either look on Etsy, or, if I’m on a super tight budget, just Google wallpaper photos of things from nature (sunsets, flowers, motivational quotes, etc), get them printed at a CVS, buy frames from Walmart, and put those on the walls. Also, finding nice rugs helped me warm up my place and I recently upgraded to cowhide rather than traditional rugs. Figure out if there’s a general theme you’d love to come home to and slowly work towards decorating your apartment to fit that theme.

undertheunderbelly · 2021-09-07T03:27:52+00:00

I'm selling my house and managed to get the realtor to take 4.25% commission! I'm really lucky. Unfortunately the house will be set at 288,500 which is a little lower than I'd hoped. I'm so stressed out because not only do I have to sell a home but I also have to buy one and do a move.

I think the biggest thing though is my fear of disappointing my current bosses when I give them my 1.5 month notice tomorrow. They've been nothing but amazing and ill truly miss them .

Makes me think of the happiness cycle - where people get used to a current state of life, whether it's bad or good and constantly aim for more . Am I just shooting myself in the foot ? Ugh

pearlyshimmer · 2021-09-07T18:41:29+00:00

i hope someone makes a post about the completely ridiculous WSJ article today about men not enrolling in college. pissed me off

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2021-09-06T18:23:22+00:00

How do you join the chat here again? I use to be apart of it, but for some reason it is no longer there.

Okami-Sama19 · 2021-09-09T14:16:04+00:00

Feeling pretty blah about my break up, and just kind of blah in general.

I think I will start up therapy again.

sacchilax · 2021-09-06T22:16:26+00:00

For those who were with narc men— what made you leave? Was it something someone else said? If so- what did they say that made the 💡 go off with you.

BusinessTwistofLime · 2021-09-09T07:49:48+00:00

Oh man.. I had a new friend date tonight and realized how much FDS helped me. This lady was going on and on and on about some NVM/LVM coworker scrote who she was hooking up with the past 3 years while I kept trying to tell her to forget about him and move on. She had story after story of him breadcrumbing her. I felt sad hearing her story, but I also felt relief knowing that FDS strategy protects us at the first sign of these red flags. I also felt relief that I don't invest this kind of mental and emotional energy into these kinds of scrotes anymore.

She seems like a kind hearted person. However, I can't get past the fact that she has put up with so much disrespect from him and STILL ENTERTAINS CALLS FROM HIM. He literally called while we were on finishing up dinner and she picked up the phone. After she had just dissected every which way he had insulted her!?!!!?!

Yikes!

afab_100 · 2021-09-09T02:18:38+00:00

I broke up with my bf who exhibited coercive and manipulative behavior and he was not enjoyable in bed. I did that because you should consider how a man treats you over how you feel about him. But now, I just remember the times he treated me really well. He was always present and texted back right away. I don't know if I miss him or I need a hobby.

Opposite-Scar7575 · 2021-09-06T17:10:06+00:00

Im wondering what the strategy is once you do marry a HVM.

Are you guys after traditional marriages/ gender roles, or not?

Would you consider a sub dedicated to marriage advice ?

(I'm f30, btw).

BananaPralines · 2021-09-07T18:25:32+00:00

I have recently discovered FDS while looking up why my current relationship makes me feel so low.

After some reflection, I have realised my partner is a LVM. He was in a transition phase when I met him and I saw potential 🙄

Without going into touch details, I have drawn up a plan of action. We currently cohabit, and have done since the start of covid so I will have to break a tenancy lease and uproot myself once again.

My question is, what is the best way to navigate this? How do I get to courage to initiate this conversation? I've set myself a hard do or die date in October just so I can prepare for an instant move if need be, but emotionally, are there any pointers for not feeling guilty about my choice? Is this just going to have to be a rip off the band aid moment?

Feministtiktok · 2021-09-11T03:22:25+00:00

I’m feeling like I want a relationship but burned out from trying dating apps lately. Anyone else?

JoanHollowayWannabe · 2021-09-07T02:23:55+00:00

Random story:
I am accustomed to men I'm introduced to hitting on me immediately or paying an uncomfortable amount of attention to me regardless of the context of our meeting. A week or so back, I heard my new roommate coming up to our place with her boyfriend in tow and they came in before I could jump up and run to my room. He was very handsome and in classic HVM fashion, greeted me politely and went to wait in my roommate's bedroom while she showered and took care of a couple things around the house, rather than leering over me or asking a million questions to keep my attention while she was occupied. I was relaxed and enjoying my evening and he saw that and left me peacefully in the living room. Truly appreciated.

Contrast this to one of the first times I met my former roommate's LVM bf. One morning when she was at work and he'd slept over, I couldn't get through making my breakfast without feeling his eyes on me. He could've gone into one of her two(!) rooms, or even moved to the living room but he just sat at the kitchen counter directly facing me the entire time. Then it turned into a quiz show as he asked a bunch of "friendly" questions. He was physically bigger than me, and a conservative so I felt pressure to not cut him off or turn mean, as we were in that house alone and these guys are dangerous. When my roommate returned, he turned around to her, beaming, and started telling HER how great I was, excruciatingly embellishing and regurgitating the fun facts I'd been giving him through forced smiles and frying eggs. I could tell she was embarrassed, and she looked at the ground instead of up at me as he was babbling like a little kid who just found a dollar. I fabricated some errand, got changed, and practically ran out of the house.

How a man behaves with an attractive woman he's just met, especially if they're alone, is so incredibly telling.

TheDesertFoxq · 2021-09-10T03:39:45+00:00

How do I get a flair/be able to post videos or images. I don't understand reddit. I found this video on tiktok of a dude doing the absolute bare minimum with his gf and everyone is screaming his praises https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSJK1S3eC/

drslvtr · 2021-09-11T23:26:37+00:00

I'm going back to school!

At the age of 32, I switched careers and started pursuing my passion as a pastry chef. After a year of hard work, juggling three jobs and questioning my decision every day, I now work for a fine dining restaurant as a pastry chef with great pay and great hours. I get to decide the menu, I have creative freedom and my colleagues are lovely, supportive people. I decided to go back to a proper cookery school while working full time to have a solid diploma under my belt. I'm beyond excited and slightly terrified. But I know I can do this.

In the past year I also dated a lot. I don't know how I managed to fit dates in my insanely busy schedule, but I did, and I learned a lot about myself and the nature of men. I'm happy to say that I've stopped dating as it doesn't bring me happiness or fulfillment anymore. My time is better spent on me and my friends. Sometimes I miss the excitement of meeting someone new but when I run the simulation in my head on how it's gonna be like, I get discouraged to even put myself out there. Living in a small town also doesn't help, the dating pool is small and the quality of men is meh at best.

I'm a beautiful, healthy, established woman with a PhD. I speak three languages, I play multiple instruments and I'm an amazing cook/baker. I'm hard working, caring, compassionate and full of life. I take good care of myself, I plan for future and I'm responsible. I'm playful, romantic, loving and thoughtful. I expect at least the same qualities in a potential partner, and if possible, more. But I have yet to meet someone like that. I deserve to be won over, over and over, I want to feel like my partner deserves me. I'm not sure if I'll ever meet someone like that, but I'm not waiting around or missing out on life for a slight chance of an encounter like that.

I'm in a great place right now, I'm excited for my future and I can't wait to experience lots of fun, meaningful and enriching experiences this life has for me. And I know FDS has my back.

Interesting-Notebook · 2021-09-07T16:01:48+00:00

I truly believe I am currently dating a HVM, and have been for the last nine months.

I followed the rules perfectly for months 1-5...and our relationship was perfect. The problem now is, as a super horny girl, I've started wanting a lot more sex. I have created a situation where whenever we go on a date, there's hot sex afterward.

But...I don't think he respects me as much as he did in the beginning. I also gave him a way better gift on his bday in July than he did for mine (his came first), and feel stupid about that still.

He has so, so many HV traits, but I truly think I'm fucking it up with my pick-me behavior.

How do I go back? Is there even a way to go back?

sammytheforsaken · 2021-09-08T09:32:33+00:00

(Not a native speaker!) Would you consider a man who is at most 1inch shorter than you? I'm asking because I've met someone for who this is the case. Mind you, I'm tall af. Also I'm curvy and he's slim but muscular and works out several times a week, so I just feel so much bigger than him. Do you have any advice on why it makes me feel insecure or how I could improve my view? When I tell him about my insecurities, he's very loving and affirms me that I shouldn't think that. I might add that I have a history of EDs which I overcame though therapy. I guess it comes from there.

wet-plants · 2021-09-09T07:58:28+00:00

What is the best high value, Queen energy way to shut down or slow down his advances in the way of kissing, or sexual-leaning advances? How do you turn down these advances and imply youre classy & taking it slow, without actually letting him know your timeline or making it a big thing. I just want to establish that he will follow my lead in the sexual department?

BongSlurper · 2021-09-10T17:28:01+00:00

I was just thinking about how so much of the comment content is based around our shared shitty experience dating LVM. Oftentimes with multiple different men too.

But random scotes call us lady Incels… like we have PLENTY experience dating! Finding a willing dick is LEAST difficult part! Couldn’t be further from incels lmfao. Quality dick is just hard to come by, sometimes trash dick even dresses like quality dick so what’s a girl to do?

Vet.Vet.Vet.

filh218 · 2021-09-11T21:04:45+00:00

ive just had such.....an odd convo with another female trainee. tl dr: she advised me to censor myself, be less emotional and be quieter to get ahead in our society esp in our field of social work. something about that just feels so......backward?

atreegrowsinbrixton · 2021-09-06T21:13:45+00:00

My new HV boyfriend keeps being consistently HV. He is so happy to take me out for dinner all the time, cook for me, planning surprises, asking for my input in everything in his life, showing clear goals and following through with them. Such a contrast to my LV ex who complained that having to buy me dinner would cost twice as much as buying himself dinner 🙄 i honestly don’t know if it is going to be a super long term thing because i think we have very different life plans, but i am enjoying being with a HVM in the meantime and realizing that they do in fact exist.

wet-plants · 2021-09-08T05:18:42+00:00

I think I just met a HVM, I didn’t think it was possible because I’ve had nothing but examples that 99% of men are trash lately, and I’m suddenly in a bad place because I can feel myself crushing and I’m terrified he’ll reject me and I’ll feel badly about myself!! Talk me off the ledge queens!!

(I know I wont betray myself of my FDS but I am definitely feeling a crush which is against the rules so I’m mostly scared of the fallout if it ends )

pearlyshimmer · 2021-09-10T10:08:22+00:00

most women are down so bad. an insta influencer i stumbled upon was advocating for dating older. then her and her followers were fawning over an unmarried 40yo man who stated he’d neeever date below the age of…27. a 13 year age difference. because women at that age “have careers and know what they want”. why, so your old azz can waste their time? bro.

velocity2ds · 2021-09-06T15:01:52+00:00

How long do you give a guy to ask out?

SkyWanderluster · 2021-09-07T16:42:48+00:00

Ladies what happened to the photo posts?

mini_baguette · 2021-09-06T21:16:13+00:00

I was going to make a separate post w/ the scrotation report flair, but I didn’t wanna clutter our feed.

The guys I’ve dated in the past were all very straight forward in pursuing and were obviously interested. I’ve never had someone be friends first and then make a move later.

So here’s where I need help 😔: I met a guy ~ two years ago in uni. We used to hang out and get something to eat after most classes with our other friend (never 1 on 1). When COVID hit, we stopped talking… until he reached out later in the year. At the time, I was talking to another guy; so my responses to him were slow and disinterested. Eventually it got to a point where I was responding a whole month later 💀

Ok, so here’s the meaty part: Recently, he said that he’d be nearby and asked if I was free. I rescheduled to a different day and later time (multiple times 💀) and he was fine with everything. He already had a restaurant in mind, and he paid. It was just over $100.

He was very respectful the whole time! We sat and talked for a couple more hours after that, and then I said I had to go. He walked me back home and we basically departed platonically.

He texted me later telling me he had a lot of fun and that he would let me know next time he’s nearby. (That was an excuse btw, he came down to see me specifically 🙄)

I’ve been finding myself wondering if that was just two friends meeting up, or if it was a date? Pls don’t hate on me 😭 I can’t figure intentions out. He was wearing cologne and looked really nice, but the fact he never called it a date is leaving me with doubts.

So basically, I’m struggling to objectively figure out if this is platonic. I know it sounds like I’m trolling but 😭

On another note, I don’t do anything in this situation, right? How long should he take to ask me out again? (if it was, in fact a date) I’ve been stupidly worrying today that I didn’t show enough interest in him. I barely made any eye contact because I was nervous, but that’s just stupid overthinking.

I wanted to write this all out so I don’t fall back in pickme-land. I’ve been on hiatus from our sub (and dating) for too long and just need some grounding from you ladies!!!

catlady4u · 2021-09-10T19:27:34+00:00

My life is in transition.

I'm leaving my job next week and starting up again with an online business. The relief I feel is off the charts.

Today, I finally spoke to a psychiatrist about my MH issues, and starting treatment as soon as I can pick up the scrips.

sherrybby · 2021-09-07T13:45:01+00:00

hello! is there a reason i cant post a photo :( Thanks!

RecentSprinkles5997 · 2021-09-12T20:48:55+00:00

I was listening to perhaps, perhaps , perhaps by Doris day and wow bread crumbing has truly been around forever

ConfusedPanda17 · 2021-09-13T08:17:25+00:00

I'm really glad I stuck around after coming to this sub maybe 6 months ago. I'm dating someone now and the sub really helped me with knowing what to look out for, to constantly vet and not put too much trust in him too soon. So far, things are going well. He's very sweet, this morning whilst I was still in bed he cleaned up my kitchen and did dishes, made me tea and took out the bins/recycling because he remembered it was bin collection day. I'm still vetting of course but so far, the sub has really helped me weed out shitty men.

BlueJeanMistress · 2021-09-13T17:52:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Weekly FDS Check-in
Author	Unlikely-Marzipan
Upvotes	92
Comments	163
Date	September 6, 2021 2:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pj04jh/weekly_fds_checkin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/weekly-fds-check-in.1067281 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067281

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