Daily Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2022-04-15T13:00:10+00:00

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc... in...

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[–]GridReXX15 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I was thinking about the anal sex post from yesterday. Why does he only care about his needs in relation to what someone else got before him?

For example I don’t enter relationships or engage with others if I’m not getting what I want, period.

If you care about anal sex, why would you enter a sexual relationship with someone who doesn’t want to do it REGARDLESS of whether they did it in the past or not?

For example, I want to be treated with compassion, kindness, consideration, and regular acts of service.

Me caring about those things isn’t contingent on whether or not they did it in the past.

The thing about being secure in your needs and wants is you aren’t stressed about phantom retrospective things that have shit to do with you lol.

Or maybe there’s some other dynamic happening here 🧐

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Bad anal experiences are actually really common. There's a reason women try it and never want to do it again or only do so because their s.o. constantly asks for it and they feel like they can't say no (which messed up). Most of my friends have tried it at some point. Exactly one friend enjoys and continues doing it. It's not a bad faith scenario but the quadriplegic one is.

The hypothetical was basically based on a false premise that women only do really freaky things if they're really truly attracted to you and that the second guy is just being settled for. It's the constant fear of PPD men. It was set up to illicit a specific response and play on deep seeded ppd fears.

I enjoy and do anal but the first time I was penetrated I screamed it hurt so badly. I told my sex partner where he had fucked up. When you think you've used enough lube: use more lube, also don't try to pornstar penetrate, start in the spooning position.

I have also told a short lived sex partner flat out I would not be on the receiving side of anal because his dick was too big and it was a hard no for me, I didn't want damage. I didn't enjoy oral either because of his size. I just don't think you guys understand shit.

[–]Orange_Paisley2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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Usually the guy hasn't explored anal sex or whatever but it's maybe on like a bucket list or something and they think that someday they might be able to try it. So they're more in exploration mode about it and think their partners are possibly open to it someday. So I think you need to compare it to a bucketlist thing you maybe hope to try.

A (dumb) contrived scenario (which also reveals why the entire thing is dumb, but that I think elucidates the issue):

Suppose a guy and a woman date. She's interested in having kids but she doesn't bring it up because she thinks it will scare him off but that she'll be able to explore the topic and at least give it a good shot at convincing him. They get married and then she discovers that he already has a few kids and that he's so done with having kids that he had a vasectomy long before they met.

Edit: I think there's also a big dose of activating the madonna/whore dichotomy going on

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So quite some number of years ago I dropped my standards for myself from "being good enough for a woman" to "cosplaying as a functioning member of society" and I've honestly been way happier since then.

Now that I've achieved that goal of cosplaying as a functioning member of society I started to look past that like "ok how much of a stretch would finding a wife and such be at this point" and yeah it's pretty tricky first of all.

Second of all I'm not even sure if I want it. Let's put the sexual red flags aside for a bit (virgin, watches porn, breeding fetish or whatever), also let's ignore any mental health ones (the fact that I'm on PPD for one). Now let's assume I take care of out all the other red flags, from getting a car and drivers license to cooking and only eating out on special occasions. I should probably visit the dentist and barber more. Get my unibrow lasered off, and wear more fashionable better fitting pants.

Ok so I do all these things. Then end up going out with a girl. Now of course I'm working full time. But then when I'm not working I'm cooking, cleaning, going to the gym, doing exciting outdoors people stuff like rock climbing or sportsball "for fun." Hanging out with friends and so on. Maybe going to therapy. Not to mention making time for her, planning dates. Responding to her texts and so on.

But what I really want to do is lay down in bed, touch myself, then play hollow knight silksong (this takes place in the future lol) and order doordash. But no I can't do that cause that's disgusting scrote behavior.

So how am I supposed to be in love with my girlfriend here rather than resent her for having to try so darn hard to be good enough for her? I don't think that's a sorta relationship a girl actually wants.

But a girl also doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't cook or have a drivers license so oh well.

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I read a book once that said a good way to start the day energized is to hop in the shower and blast yourself with alternating streams of cold water. Twenty seconds on, twenty seconds off, that sort of thing. So I started doing that and it was fucking awful, but I did actually start to feel great for the rest of the day.

Starting the day in a relaxing hot shower is an objectively better feeling that shivering in misery, but you can't compare your net gain in enjoyment from two activities if one only yields short term gratification. You'd probably get temporary bursts of pleasure from sitting at home, jerking off, eating fastfood, and playing games that are never going to be released because the developers realized too late the gameplay loop is overcomplicated and unsatisfying as a result of the gimmicky string mechanics, but that won't result in an overall increase in your happiness. You'll feel more and more like shit everyday and when you look back on the past year it'll all blur together into nothingness.

Just put in the effort to fake being a real person and you'll at least be able to draw on a real person's contentment. With most things that are hard to achieve the effort is ultimately it's own reward.

[–]Ainsleygz1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Why do you feel the need to do all of that? When not working my boyfriend and I mostly just chill (video games, reading, YouTube/shows, hobbies, whatever.. sometimes together, sometimes we do our own things) and fuck. Of course there’s cleaning (although it seems like you make enough money to just have a cleaning lady come once a week) and errands/household tasks. Cooking is fun, it’s a bonding experience for us to choose fun recipes and make it. But we also love getting takeout and do it often. I don’t care much for gym or sports stuff in a man. Also the older you get the harder it is to find time with friends, as they are also juggling their own lives, so that doesn’t really cut much into time, maybe occasionally on the weekends?

I’m pretty introverted so I don’t need to be with him all the time (we live separately; my decision, but we do spend most of the week together). Unless you’re looking for a girl who does all the things you described, then just find a girl like you. If it turns out that you don’t like those kind of girls, then you might have to change yourself. That said, there’s nothing wrong with being low key. Although it will all get 10x worse if you choose to have kids, that’s when the real time and bonding struggles will begin!

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lol uh well. maybe? idk why my brain works the way it does, I just think it's kinda feminine to spend hours in front of the mirror fixing up your looks. I'm usually really attracted to masculine things, so guys who wax or have 10 step face routines, it's just not my speed. They can do it if they want and it makes them look better and they probably should if that's what they need to do, I'm just not attracted to the idea of them prettying themselves up every day.

On the other hand I think working out to improve looks is masculine so I'm fine with that, it's the more traditionally feminine types of stuff I don't care for. In the initial attraction stages, I prefer it not be very obvious that he has to do all that shit to look good. Obviously very innate beauty is a huge plus as well, as it would be for most people.

[–]dysonRing0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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not really. I would suggest a guy takes care of his looks of course. I just wouldn't want it to be very apparent to me in the initial stages that he spends hours taking fixing himself up every day. A guy who goes to waxing appointments, does a bunch face routines, spends hours in the mirror, etc. It all comes across as very feminine to me. I just mean I prefer more casual men. So a guy who can dress fashionably but not in a way that would make me think they spend tons of money on clothes. It's the reason why I don't find makeup attractive on men. I will 100% agree that tasteful makeup can actually improve a man's looks, but the idea of a man putting on make-up makes me view them as less masculine.

So they can do whatever they want to take care of themself as long as I wouldn't think they do just by looking at them. My main gripe is those men who wax all the hair off their bodies or style their hair every day. It just comes across as feminine or vain to me.

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This was a fun question I've shamelessly stolen from r/askmen.

You find the perfect SO. 10/10 in looks, personality, status, income, loyalty, whatever other standards you may have. Except once every 5 years, he or she beats the shit out of you. It's like a magic curse, like some Jekyll and Hyde shit. 99% of the time you're with them they're perfect with you, no abuse whatsoever. And this isn't just love-bombing manipulation stuff, they're earnestly a good person to you. But every 5 years they have an uncontrollable urge, almost like they're possessed, to beat you up. Do you stay with them?

The beatings are not life threatening nor permanently disfiguring. Whether you know the day in advance or not is up to you, whichever makes the hypothetical more interesting to you.

Personally, I say absolutely. Guys regular work backbreaking manual labor jobs that do cause permanent damage for a lot less reward.

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What pisses me off most about boomer parents:

When someone is deciding to have a kid, they should really be making the conscious decision to say — I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make sure this kid experiences the least amount of unnecessary suffering as possible. I'm going to work to put them in the best possible position to succeed.

Instead what do boomers do? They parasitically leech off their kids and feel entitled for them to work as slaves to take care of them in their retirement. They call their kids selfish and guilt trip them if they don't take care of them — completely ignoring the fact that most of their kids have little financial or temporal bandwidth to even do so.

What's worst of all, they expect everyone else to collectively fund their requirements, despite the fact they lived in a period with the greatest economic mobility in all of America, and just a little bit of saving/investing would have let them sit on a very comfortable retirement package. Instead, guess what they did? Boomers are the one who started the consumerist trends that are destroying America today. They just spent, spent, spent on absolute bullshit and didn't save anything for retirement, so they expect younger people to do so.

What's worse are the corporate boomers who've ascended to director or executive status (almost exclusively due to tenure rather than industry knowledge and skillset) kicked the ladder down beneath them, so the younger generations would not have the upward mobility they did. They also are very realistically creating a bottle neck and log jam in corporate hierarchies, because these incompetent fucks simply won't retire, because they're too stupid to figure out fundamental investing principles. On top of this all, they have the audacity to call us entitled.

[–][deleted]8 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]goatismycopilot1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Most of my family qualifies as middle class only because they retired with modest DB pensions. Everybody did not have three houses and a new car every year. That entire generation and the one right after are not all assholes. They do care that the grandkids make 15 bucks an hour but the world has changed so much they are clueless.

The people who do not care are all the " investment" houses that buy up companies and then dismantle and let them die, the corporate entities who moved overseas, the politicians who allow lobby groups to write legislation that fuck people over, most of PPD all of whom claim to make six figures, the rotating one or two percenters who actually have access to power, and most of the social media entities who promote the concept of influencers and all the stupid shit they talk about. Americans are too brainwashed to challenge this phase of late stage capitalism because they still believe in individualism and the idea that anybody can make with enough hard work and brains.

A bunch of old people playing pickleball are not the ones perpetuating all this.

[–]edgyny4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]GrandBurdensomeCount1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah, our "fair share" of being tens of thousands of debt from student loans; banking oligarchs literally laughing in our face telling us, "You will own nothing and be happy!"

This but unironically.

In pervious generations only a small select slice were able to rise above the "nasty, brutish, short" aphorism. That slice is bigger now due to economic growth/technology but it is still only a slice. We're just reverting to that trend. Hopefully within a hundred or so years we get general AI which can produce enough to provide for every single human being, but that is not the lot for this generation or even the next one; in our groups there will be winners and losers. This isn't so terrible though, by working hard/through luck etc. you can still do things that make it more likely that you end up in the winners group.

[–]goatismycopilot1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]scwizard6 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The first week, we just had oral sex. I was lying next to each other one day when I noticed his google tab, which had "spoiled virgin porn." 🚩 I ignored plenty of red signals because I was only interested in losing my virginity and had no intention of dating him.

After a week we did it. We were together for 3 more weeks. It was great times and I had sex 2-3 times per day. I enjoyed it. I did not think I would fall for him. After one month of being with him, I came back and we decided to do LDR. At first, he was sweet and would contact me every day but after a few weeks, he became cold and distant. He would call me once every week or two. All the hormones were kicking in and I was so getting so attached to him.

No one knew what I was going through, not my family, not my friends. I still showed up to life. At night I will cry and document my feelings. “fake it 'till you make it for a while.” I chose to suffer than entertain that creepy man.

Because of the FDS Reddit posts and comments, I didn't feel alone. Thank you, each and every one of you. I'm over with him. I can't believe I wasted my tears on that individual.

She 100% knew what the consequences of her actions would be. Went through with it anyway. Still regretted it. Now people are like "you were vulnerable and he abused you."

Also 2-3 times per day damn...

But yeah people acting like she's the passive victim here when she traveled 10,000km to meet him. I just don't get it.

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Women mix a combination of A,B, and C.

They date the people they can attract. The higher tier guys for relationships, the lower tier guys for entertainment and attention.

They improve themselves modestly. Mostly through educational or career attainments. For every 1.5x a man does, women reward themselves with 2x. For example, if a woman obtains a bachelors degree her value is increased by 2x compared to a guys 1.5x. Now include income, personality, style, social status, fitness. This leads to runaway hypergamy.

Lastly, women become lonely. They supplement this by using men for entertainment or getting a pet. Women like to get a pet and slap “dog mom” on their dating profiles. Or they get 3 cats to keep them company after they get pumped n dumped. That unconditional (I need you for survival) love.

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First off, that's not lying, that's focusing on a specific aspect to further an agenda, something you're very familiar with as it's your entire political MO...

Second, I linked that article specifically because it would spool some people up, because it's fun.

The bill itself pretty explicitly states that you can't have a test that makes a student feel bad about their race, sex, etc, regardless of what the facts say. It looks like something a liberal would craft up so that teachers couldn't criticize anything about minorities, but instead it's the GOP. It's a very interesting turn around and shows that politics is becoming a contest of who's the biggest victim. We all lose when we go down that road

But please, continue to focus on the article over the bill itself, it will only help in the long run...

[–]LillthOfBabylon 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

First off, that's not lying, that's focusing on a specific aspect to further an agenda,

Except it never mentioned white people, so it's lying and you’re siding with the lying propaganda, which is something an objective person would never do.

The bill itself pretty explicitly states

“An individual, by virtue of his or her race or sex, does not bear responsibility for actions committed in the past by other members of the same race or sex. An individual should not be made to feel discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress on account of his or her race,” the bill states.

An objective person would agree with this, because an objective person would not believe that someone should bear the responsibility of another person just because they share the skin tone or gender. only a biased person with an agenda would disagree with that.

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Otherwise, the whole “Dont Say Gay” propaganda wouldnt have popped up.

You seem to not understand how clickbaity news media operates. “Dont Say Gay” is catchy, memorable, alarming, and it rhymes.

The word gay isn’t even mentioned in the bill. The bill is 6 or 7 pages long, saying kids k thru grade 3 cannot have discussions about gender identity and sexual orientation.

Maybe you are getting frustrated at the outrage driven media and people who don’t wanna read’s reaction to headlines. Welcome to earth.

However, I guess it is hard for people to understand when they really want to push an agenda onto children. It’s like they can’t figure out how to talk to children without bring up their sexual orientation or if they’re cis or trans. I find that very disturbing.

What does it say about when children bring up their gender or sexual orientation to teachers?

[–]LillthOfBabylon 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]decoy88Men and Women are similar -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

What does it say about when children bring up their gender or sexual orientation to teachers?

“Ask your parents” or “You’ll know when you’re older”. This is also how a lot of people handle things when little kids ask how babies are made. You don’t just start telling kids about pensises and vaginas.

Aahhh I now see the issue teachers may have with it then. ~~Some~~ a lot of parents are dumb as shit, the “ask your parents” rule is good until that one kid just does that, comes back spouting hateful shit that their parents told em and bullying the next kid in class, teacher has to discipline them and explain they shouldn’t do that without saying those teachings are wrong. It’s a bind for a teacher to be in. Obviously many parents can’t see that perspective because in their mind they always know best.

I do, and they made it the main concern on the LGBT community’s mind, embarrassing them and making critics of the bill look very stupid.

Twitter LGBT gonna do what it’s gonna do.

it’s the same thing with the damn Rittenhouse case. something non-controversial becomes controversial because the media has to lie and people eat up the lie.

But it makes money! And money and profit is good because capitalism!

[–]LillthOfBabylon 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Some a lot of parents are dumb as shit,

I can say the same about teachers.

the “ask your parents” rule is good until that one kid just does that, comes back spouting hateful shit that their parents told em

And blindly trusting teachers is good until one of them starts giving secret lessons on how there’s 3 million genders, communism is awesome “it just wasn't tried properly”, or that certain races are inherently oppressed/oppressive solely based on the color of their skin and nothing factual. Or worse case scenario, sexually abuses happened and the school covers it up.

and bullying the next kid in class, teacher has to discipline them and explain they should do that without saying those teachings are wrong.

You can teach kids to stop bullying each other without discussing sexual orientation and gender identity. I’m just getting more of the impression that these teachers are very fucking stupid.

It’s a bind for a teacher to be in. Obviously many parents can’t see that perspective because in their mind they always know best.

I can say the same thing about the shitty ass teachers. The government thinking that teachers always know best is exactly why democrats lost Virginia.

The exact moment the Dem’s 10 point lead in Virginia disappeared: https://youtu.be/nWrpleKHmno

But it makes money! And money and profit is good because capitalism!

If this is a clap back against my pro capitalism stance, just remember that communist countries propaganda far more.

[–]decoy88Men and Women are similar -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]decoy88Men and Women are similar -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

If it was just paranoia, then Democrats should’ve handled the Republicans’ paranoia better than they did.

I dunno, all research seems to indicate that stoking the flames of outrage and emotion results in more engagement than appealing to reason.

I also don’t know why Democrats and Republicans are mentioned. Weird flex.

Normal people: Teachers and parents should work together for the betterment of the kids.

Democrats, because they’ve become fucking stupid: Parents shouldn’t be telling schools what they should teach.

Like in everything, there’s nuance. Sometimes, teachers need to override the parents for the betterment of the kid. Sometimes, parents need to override the teachers for the betterment of the kid. Which is which is decided on a case-by-case basis. This is much harder to do with teachers having one hand tied behind their back.

I empathise with the teacher’s struggle in this clip for example.

[–]LillthOfBabylon1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I also don’t know why Democrats and Republicans are mentioned.

I’m sorry, are you seriously asking me why am I mentioning political parties in a political discussion on a political topic about a bill that one of the political parties mentioned is pushing? Are you serious?

Like in everything, there’s nuance.

Exactly, and that wasn't the time to say something like that when the local school found explicit content in the schools that they want removed and McAliffe shrugged off the concerns.

Sometimes, parents need to override the teachers for the betterment of the kid.

That’s what was happening in Virginia told them to McAliffe told the parents to fuck off.

This is much harder to do with teachers having one hand tied behind their back.

If teachers can't figure it out without bringing up sexuality and trans/cis people, they shouldn’t be teaching anyways.

Suggesting that sexuality needs to bring brought up to tell kids to stop bullying is fucking ridiculous. how about telling the children to stop being little assholes or face the consequences? How is that hard? How?

[–]decoy881 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’m sorry, are you seriously asking me why am I mentioning political parties in a political discussion on a political topic about a bill that one of the political parties mentioned is pushing? Are you serious?

I am serious. The world is bigger than the US. I don’t share the framing of every issue being Republican vs Democrat.

Exactly, and that wasn't the time to say something like that when the local school found explicit content in the schools that they want removed and McAliffe shrugged off the concerns.

Say what now? Source/article please.

That’s what was happening in Virginia told them to McAliffe told the parents to fuck off.

Does there need to be a statewide bill to enforce that tho?

If teachers can't figure it out without bringing up sexuality and trans/cis people, they shouldn’t be teaching anyways.

And that’s exactly what’s gonna happen. They’ll quit, and be replaced by worse teachers imo.

Suggesting that sexuality needs to bring brought up to tell kids to stop bullying is fucking ridiculous. how about telling the children to stop being little assholes or face the consequences? How is that hard? How?

This comment alone oversimplifies the job of a teacher and how navigate child discipline and learning. I think the resignations will reflect that, I predict a mass exodus and students will suffer the most for it.

[–]LillthOfBabylon1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I am serious. The world is bigger than the US.

Are you aware that Florida and Virginia are in the United States?

Say what now?

So you didn’t even watch the video I showed you of the Virginia governor race. It was mentioned in the clip.

Does there need to be a statewide bill to enforce that tho?

Yes. People take children’s well-being very seriously. That’s why McAlliffe lost after he implied parents shouldn't be involved in knowing/shaping what their kids learn.

And that’s exactly what’s gonna happen.

GOOD!

They’ll quit, and be replaced by worse teachers imo.

It’ll prove that public schools are shitty and people will pull their kids out and allow the government to pull funding out of Public School.

This comment alone oversimplifies the job of a teacher and how navigate child discipline and learning.

My schools didn’t have to teach me about sexual orientation and gender identity to understand that bullying kids for being different from me is wrong.

I don’t care for teachers who feel compelled to talk about sexuality when it's not needed, so I don't care if those teachers leave and never come back. :)

students will suffer the most for it.

They’re already suffering because they’re being taught by propagandists, not actual teachers, using taxpayer money.

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Do you know single women sit around bitching with their friends about how horny they are?

I did not do that. Sounds like a miserable existence. Why do they do that? They could just go to a bar and get laid.

They still don't have sex with randos. Even at their horniest, they're disgusted by the prospect of random dick

Some women do. Like I said, everyone's libido is different. Everyone is different. Some men wanna fuck slags and rack up a double digit N count. Some guys like me want to settle down with a cute wife and have kids.

I haven't had sex for like 18 months at this point. I'm horny. Watching lots of porn, flirting with dudes I wouldn't naturally flirt with, masturbating all the time. Hormones do be hormone-ing. Still not having sex with randos. Not having sex til I get a boyfriend.

😶

Thanks for sharing lol. I'm sorry you're struggling with that. I'd help but I probably live on the other side of the planet to you ;)

If they like him enough to sleep with him they usually like him enough to want him for a relationship

Not always. I agree this is for most women, but not always. My theory is that there's two circles in a Venn diagram, one is people we wanna fuck, the other is people we wanna marry. For men, these two circles are way more disparate and there's much less overlap. Most guys would wanna fuck a pornstar. Nobody except a mentally ill cuck with no self respect would actually marry a pornstar. So There's little overlap there. With women, the overlap is far more wide and its basically the same circle. Most women wouldn't fuck someone unless they considered him relationship material to a certain degree. Of course tehre's the other group of women who I mentioned, that simply enjoy sex, and there's nothing wrong with that, but I think they are in a minority.

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It’s interesting in how you process and guess the intent of others.

To you, if someone says "Only creeps hit on women on the street"

Rather than assume “they are just dumb”

You also have to believe “they are intentionally malicious and trying to shame”

But believe “they are just dumb” cannot be the cause in of itself. There HAS to be intent to shame otherwise.

Which is funny in the world of men and women who frequently unintentionally offend each other.

Whenever I read “only golddiggers want to be paid for on the first date” I don’t assume intention to shame, women but it’s clear that you do.

You assume malice before incompetence, and never incompetence without malice.

I’ll be observing your comments to see if you engage with users with intentional shaming tactics and comment when I see it.

[–]TheJim661 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]decoy882 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm a feminist. I want to believe women aren't so stupid they can't parse how "only creeps approach on the street" is a statement that falls apart immediately upon inspection.

That’s not feminist. That’s benovelently sexist. “Women are Wonderful” is anti-feminist. Women are human, and humans can be dumb. Sounds like you’re still subconsciously operating with “Women are Wonderful” in the back of your mind.

Frankly assuming incompetence over malice is the more well meaning interpretation of the phenomenon.

It’s less cynical yes. But less cynical doesn’t mean less true.

That's usually supported by arguments. If the one saying doesnt, he is obviously trying a shaming tactic. You should see it as a shaming attempt.

“supported by arguments” are you sure mate? Sure that’s not your bias working on your perspective?

I don’t assume. I clarify by asking. Or attack the point directly.

Assuming malice is an easy way to feel righteous in any given argument. It’s also lazy.

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[–]decoy882 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Sentiments like the one i previously mentioned are so ubiquitously shared by women

And? First you said “feminist” now you backtrack and say “women” woman = feminist

I would have to assume an inherent lack of brain cells to women that only an abhorrent sexist would assume. Like I already said, I'm a feminist ❤

Aahhh I get it. You’re being facetious. Haha! Haha! 😂😂

In this case it does. Women aren't THAT dumb

Yes some of them are. There are plenty men that are that dumb. Dumb enough to believe vagina makes women smarter.

Considering that they keep repeating the sentiments even after shown the error of their thinking, it's easy to see they are, indeed just shaming attempts. It would be lazy if it was wrong. It's not.

You are talking about Belief Perseverance. Something that everyone no matter how intelligent is susceptible to.

[–]TheJim661 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]decoy882 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]decoy882 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes women as a group can't be dumb. Are you arguing that they are?

Maybe you have lost track, this stemming from an example you brought up about ONE woman that says "Only creeps hit on women on the street". Are you applying that experience to the group of all women?

When you are assessing malice of a comment, do you think of the individual woman that made the comment or are you thinking of women as a group when you accuse them of “shaming tactic”?

Because they know it would be refuted and/or that it's baseless.

Fucking hell! You can’t stop yourself from assuming what people would do and how they would think. No wonder you believe you are never wrong.

Yes

Well there it is! In the long ass back n forth the crux of everything is “I am so smart I’m always right in my assumptions”. Basic shit that a lot of people suffer from here.

[–]TheJim660 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Maybe you have lost track, this stemming from an example you brought up about ONE woman that says "Only creeps hit on women on the street".

How did the following:

Sentiments like the one i previously mentioned are so ubiquitously shared by women

But we aren't talking just about some of them. We are talking about the overwhelming majority.

... Give you the impression that I was talking about one woman? Pretty much all women share sentiments similar to the one I previously mentioned. Shaming tactics is how women "argue". Assuming they are doing it because of incompetence would mean women as a gender are dumb. Is that what you are saying?

When you are assessing malice of a comment, do you think of the individual woman that made the comment or are you thinking of women as a group when you accuse them of “shaming tactic”?

Depends on who I'm addressing obviously.

Fucking hell! You can’t stop yourself from assuming what people would do and how they would think.

Are you saying that an intelligent person would publicly support a view he knows he can't support? Fascinating logic.

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Got downvoted, someone felt attacked, lol.

I find there's a great overlap of this group and people who can dish it, but not take it.

These are the type of people that find other peoples reactions shaming if their immediate reaction is anything but agreement and inclusion.

"I want a barely legal virgin waifu with no choking reflex, she needs to have absolutely no other desire in life but to wait on me hand and foot, she needs to be feminine, but also only have my hobbies (male-dominated) yet can't make any male friends from said hobbies"

and sure dude, you do you, but when the immediate reaction is "dude what the everloving fuck" because saying shit like that is autistic as hell, they pull the shaming-card and whataboutism "but the women say they want tall guys, why are my wishes weird?". 🤷‍♀️

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[–]SerpentCypher 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

You are forgetting that we are on a public forum. There doesn't necessarily have to be one shamer and one recipient.

Lets say someone creates a thread like "Only creepy insecure losers care about a woman's N count. REAL men don't care." (An actual thread I responded to back in the day)

Then sure the OP may not be singling out any specific poster. Yet this is a shaming attempt all the same. The point of the thread is to dissuade any men who read it from liking Low N women. While claiming those that do are inferior to other men that don't. What other reason could there possibly be to make such a thread?

It's the intention of making people feel inadequate or excluded that makes it shaming.

You are just making it sound like people are throwing opinions into the ether and people are taking it to heart when it isn't about them.

If you say "Men who like X are scum." If I like X, it IS about me, you don't have to name drop me for this to be the case.

[–]funlightmandarin 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]SerpentCypher 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

No YOU are missing the point.

Am attempt to shame is what matters. If you say something with the intention of shaming a particular user, or a group of users, or a specific demographic. That constitutes shaming regardless of whether people actually bite or not.

Shaming attempts do not require anybody to actually feel ashamed for it to be shaming.

It makes absolutely no sense to engage such posts, it must take a particular fragile sense of self to feel like you have to defend yourself to them (shaming intended).

No offense, but this is a pathetic argument. We are on a debate sub. The entire point is to respond and fire back and make our case for why the people we disagree with are wrong. Ironically, calling somone fragile for responding to a post they disagree with is a... wait for it... nah actually I've made my point lol.

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[–]SerpentCypher 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

This is what I mean.

Because many of the expert takes here come from inexperienced virgins that comment with misplaced confidence stemming only from theorising.

You are claiming I was wrong when I am actually right. Your flair is an appeal to authority. The implication that you are one of the few men here who's posts hold any weight. Because "I has sex." It is an attempt to undermine other posters.

If it makes you feel bad then it’s a you problem

Likewise this is one of those fabled "not shaming" attempts.why would it make me feel bad that you have sex? I'm in a relationship. I just don't feel the need to put it in my flair to signal to everybody around that I fuck and therefore I totally know what I'm talking about guys, listen to me not those other losers. Or rather, how did you put it? Clarify my position.

[–]decoy88Men and Women are similar 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

You are claiming I was wrong when I am actually right.

Your flair is an appeal to authority.

Informative flairs cannot “appeal” to anything. They simply state facts. Everything else you adding is stemming from your beliefs and assumptions. I am one man, I cannot control you. I also cannot control what shame you feel or don’t feel.

I could make the argument that accusing my user flair of “shaming” is a shaming tactic in itself, designed to make me feel bad and my my flair by because it’s a form of “shaming”.

The implication that you are one of the few men here who's posts hold any weight.

That’s your inference, they are not the same thing. Just like others inferred I was a virgin many times previously, so I put my new flair up to add clarification.

Because "I has sex." It is an attempt to undermine other posters.

There you go again assuming my intent and attempts. It’s an “attempt” to be informative. But, I guess you are gonna choose not to believe me. Because you know better right?

Likewise this is one of those fabled "not shaming" attempts.

why would it make me feel bad that you have sex?

Fuck do I know?

I'm in a relationship.

You should put it in your flair. Context matters, especially for opinion-based arguments.

I just don't feel the need to put it in my flair to signal to everybody around that I fuck and therefore I totally know what I'm talking about guys, listen to me not those other losers.

Projection. Your reasons for including stuff in your flair would be different so you are projecting why YOU would do it, then assuming I am doing it for the same reasons. Textbook projection.

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Though I personally am not a guy that values virginity in women as I think it's fairly unreasonable and unattainable.

I do wonder if the women who think that only virgin men should be allowed to desire virgin women lost their own virginity to another virgin.

Most women, even virgin women. State that they would want to have sex for the first time with a guy who is experienced and knows what he is doing.

Virgin men are not valued by society and are even shamed/laughed at because of it.

Men who want virgin/low N women are still going to try to maximise their appeal to women in any way they can. Which is why they have sex and build up an N count.

It's not hypocrisy, in the same way a woman wanting a tall man while not being tall isn't hypocrisy. Them NOT being a virgin increases their chances of getting a woman that they want. It increases their chances of getting a woman full stop.

Men call out promiscuity because it's something they (generally) find undesirable. This does not seem to be the case for women, it is the inverse.

[–]scubaslavvoguy chilling 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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same reason men use "whore, bitch, roastie". Because it's an easy way to jab at someone and it's something men have come to care about more than they should. The purpose of an insult is to be hurtful. How much importance you give those words is up to you.

Are you an incel ? Yes? work on yourself and get yourself out of your skewed worldview.

No? Why do you care if you get called one then ?

Men get called fuckboys plenty as well.

> They aren't because nobody cares about men sleeping around. Men aren't made to feel ashamed about being promiscuous. It generally isn't going to stop a woman sleeping with him or wanting to be in a relationship with him.

That is not fully true.

guy A : has had 3 girflriends, is 20 years old. 3 semi long term relationship, a few hookups on the side.

guy B : 20, has had 15 short term girlfriends, sleeps with a different girl every evening.

Which one of the two do you think the average woman would want to get into a relationship with more ? Do you think extreme promiscuity / changing girlfriends every week isn't sensed as commitment issues by women the same way as in men ? This is maybe true at 16 years old when 99% of your relationships are retarded and will never amount to anything serious.

If you're talking strictly about hookups : you're at the bar, meet a woman. you meet one on tinder. You start talking to the friend of a friend. Do you think if you're a good looking guy with an attractive personality the girl will ask you "are you a virgin" over text and will block you if you say you are ? That's highly unlikely to happen. You're falling into the extremes like most people on this sub .

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Most women, even virgin women. State that they would want to have sex for the first time with a guy who is experienced and knows what he is doing.

I'm not sure about this. Back when most of my female friends were still virgins, none of us really wanted to lose it to someone experienced. That seems daunting. A lot of young girls, especially inexperienced ones, value themselves based on how they can please others. That makes a very experienced guy a lot more undesirable/intimidating as you worry you'll disappoint them or that they'll compare you to other girls who were better. After a woman develops more self confidence and learns to value themselves for who they are, rather than what they can offer men, this kind of thinking is less prominent. But at that point, girls usually aren't virgins anymore.

I've heard women say that they prefer experienced men, but I've personally never heard a virgin woman say that.

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I do personally think the virgin thing is overblown. But the N count thing is almost universally true in my experience.

Most men just have a visceral disgust reaction to finding out a woman has slept with "a lot" of people. Obviously what constitutes a lot is going to differ from man to man but most guys have an aversion to promiscuous women.

This is not learned behavior. Nobody told me growing up that "sluts are gross" It's an innate reaction that a lot (I would wager most) of us have.

The only way this tends to be offset is when guys have certain kinks (cuck, humiliation, swapping/swinging etc) or it's a political thing. "Progressive" men tend to also say that high N count is desirable in women, but whether they actually believe it or they are just trying to get good boy points, who can say.

[–]decoy88Men and Women are similar 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Most men just have a visceral disgust reaction to finding out a woman has slept with "a lot" of people. **Obviously what constitutes a lot is going to differ from man to man* but most guys have an aversion to promiscuous women.

Burying the lead here. “A lot” is so subjective and varied it becomes practically pointless. If noone can determine “a lot” then it’s a lie to say that most men “care”.

Not to mention that like with many things, tye paranoia is overblown compared to the reality. Many men fear the 50+ n count woman. A tiny minority of women even have that, with most having a lifetime average between 7-10.

This is not learned behavior. Nobody told me growing up that "sluts are gross"

I doubt that you grew up in a bubble that was absent of any messages or suggestions about sluts. It’s pervasive. We learn more than just the things we are directly told. Just because you don’t remember a direct lesson doesn’t mean it didn’t enter your subconscious via your environment.

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[–]decoy881 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Okay lemme modify

I think it’s asinine to say that to desire certain qualities from other people, first you have to possess those qualities yourself.

It’s more than that, it’s “I’m turned off by qualities I myself possess and think is a-okay for me to have in a relationship, but not for anyone else in a relationship with me though”

“Promiscuous people aren’t good for a relationship, I’m promiscuous and I’m good for a relationship, other promiscuous can’t be though”

I understand the selfish or arrogant aspect of viewing yourself with a higher capability of relationship-ing than another person with similar background, that’s cool. It’s still a double-standard.

EDIT: you said it’s a preference not a requirement. My bad. If it was a requirement, it’d definitely be a double-standard.

[–]techr0nin1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]decoy881 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

My original argument to the OP is that men and women are not categorically the same in the context of sexual dynamics.

So this is where the sexism accusations come in (and rightly so).

You will always clash with people who believe men and women have the same autonomy and responsibility when it comes to choosing how they have sex and who with.

If your assertion boils down to “different because chromosomes” then no agreement can be reached.

My follow up argument with you is with regards to whether having preferences for mates that I do not adhere to myself constitute hypocrisy/double standard.

It is if you are in the same category of human. Because you place men and women in separate autonomy/responsibility categories when it comes to sex, you do not see it as a double standard.

So yeah, your premise of “men and women are inherently different in this context” prevents understanding of where the double-standard label comes from.

[–]techr0nin1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

What sexism accusations? And where did I say that men and women don’t have the same autonomy and responsibility in mate selection? This is like an unending stream of strawmen when I literally just said in this same thread that people can have whatever preferences they want. Furthermore, I will reiterate that I am not asking anyone to do anything they don’t want to in case this is somehow brought up again. Now this isn’t what I was disagreeing with you about, but if you want to address my original argument:

If your assertion boils down to biological differences between the genders have zero influence on mating preferences, then alas you are right, an agreement will not be reached.

If your assertion is NAWALT, then although it is a rather pedantic point, I agree. I am simply using generalizations to expedite meaningful discussions.

As for what I am asserting — yes I recognize that in the context of species, both men and women are humans. I am very consistent with that standard. In the context of sexual dynamics, I have one category for men and one category for women. As in, two distinct categories, one for each gender, based on biological differences.

Now that we get that outta the way, if in saying that generally speaking there are gendered differences in mating preferences, I am somehow a sexist to you, then fine, I accept that and no further discussion is needed.

[–]decoy881 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]techr0nin1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Just in case I become mired in strawmen again, I’m going to be very clear and fully flesh out my thinking.

I believe that generally speaking, YES, there will be differences in how the opposite gender perceive those actions. Furthermore, YES, I believe that the reason behind that difference in perception is rooted primarily in biology, although I will accept that cultural incentives and restrictions as well as societal structure can have a major influence on the optimal mating strategies deployed by either gender over time.

However, NO, I don’t think either gender would be doing anything morally wrong in doing so, assuming everything is voluntary and consensual. And YES, I think everyone has the right to choose to have sex with whatever consenting adult they want, and be responsible for whatever consequence they get, be it good or ill or neutral.

[–]decoy881 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No strawman attempted. Just clarification

I believe that generally speaking, YES, there will be differences in how the opposite gender perceive those actions. Furthermore, YES, I believe that the reason behind that difference in perception is rooted primarily in biology, although I will accept that cultural incentives and restrictions as well as societal structure can have a major influence on the optimal mating strategies deployed by either gender over time.

Great! So now can you understand that THIS ^ RIGHT HERE! This is seen as sexist by people who do not believe there’s a biological difference in a man wanting sex for fun and a women wanting sex for fun? Do you get it?

If I told you that YOU as a man, typing a comment on Reddit is inherently, biologically different than when a woman performs the same action, that would be a SEXIST belief on the basis that it isn’t true

If I told you that YOU having a biological child is inherently, biologically different from a woman having a biological child, it wouldn’t be SEXIST because the basis is the fact that women carry their offspring to term.

However, NO, I don’t think either gender would be doing anything morally wrong in doing so, assuming everything is voluntary and consensual. And YES, I think everyone has the right to choose to have sex with whatever consenting adult they want, and be responsible for whatever consequence they get, be it good or ill or neutral.

You keep clarifying wrong or right. Maybe it’s because you have negative associations with the terms “sexist” and “double-standard”? And you don’t want them to apply to you in any way?

[–]techr0nin1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

To be clear, are you saying that you believe I am sexist, or that some people somewhere would think I am sexist? Because I acknowledge that there are all sorts of people that believe all sorts of things, but you are the only one bringing up the sexism angle in this thread regarding what I said.

Personally I believe that sex is part of reproduction, and therefore our psychology and social attitudes towards sex are inextricably tied to biological genders. HOWEVER, I do acknowledge that due to modern contraception, one can rationally separate sex acts with reproduction — which is why I have no issue with having sex with promiscuous women with whom I have no intention of having children with. So to be clear, with STRs, it makes no difference to me whether a man have sex for fun or a woman have sex for fun. Sex is fun, and I partake. That said if it is sex with the intention of producing offsprings, then the primal psychology does apply, and it is impossible to separate sex from reproduction.

And finally I’ll say this again, if believing that biological differences in gender is what causes the differences in attitudes towards sexual behavior makes me a sexist in your eyes, or in whomever’s eyes, then fine, I accept that that’s what you think. I have explained ad nauseam on why I disagree, but it doesn’t bother me if there are people that believe differently.

[–]decoy881 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

To be clear, are you saying that you believe I am sexist, or that some people somewhere would think I am sexist?

Both. I’m saying that this belief in particular is a sexist one. Because I disagree that there’s inherent biological difference in choosing to have casual sex for fun. Both men and women do it because it feels good.

Now I don’t know you enough to call you an outright sexist, but enough from your comments to say that belief is sexist. It’s okay, almost everyone has a bit of sexism/misogyny in them. It’s a scale thing.

but you are the only one bringing up the sexism angle in this thread regarding what I said.

Yep.

Personally I believe that sex is part of reproduction, and therefore our psychology and social attitudes towards sex are inextricably tied to biological genders. HOWEVER, I do acknowledge that due to modern contraception, one can rationally separate sex acts with reproduction — which is why I have no issue with having sex with promiscuous women with whom I have no intention of having children with. So to be clear, with STRs, it makes no difference to me whether a man have sex for fun or a woman have sex for fun. Sex is fun, and I partake. That said if it is sex with the intention of producing offsprings, then the primal psychology does apply, and it is impossible to separate sex from reproduction.

The “primal psychology” is shakey at best. Separation between sex acts and reproduction are as artificially constructed as the idea of marriage, long-term relationships and land ownership. To use the biology “primal psychology” to support beliefs LTR and then not STR is logically inconsistent. But humans are irrational beings so whatever.

And finally I’ll say this again, if believing that biological differences in gender is what causes the differences in attitudes towards sexual behavior makes me a sexist in your eyes, or in whomever’s eyes, then fine, I accept that that’s what you think. I have explained ad nauseam on why I disagree, but it doesn’t bother me if there are people that believe differently.

That’s all I was saying. If you believe different behaviour is expected on the basis on nothing beyond “because female”, it is sexist. You explained that you do, ergo, the definition fits.

You may think it has a scientific basis, but it doesn’t. It hasn’t been proved, so it is simply “belief”. A sexist belief.

[–]techr0nin1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don’t believe that “different behaviors are expected” on the basis of gender. I do believe that the perceptions of those behavior will be different based on gender. I don’t disagree that people in general from both genders have casual sex for fun and because it feels good. It’s certain why I did it. But the reason those behaviors are be perceived differently is deeply rooted, some of which I think are valid, some might no longer applied. Either way it will take a long time to change.

Also the separation of sex from reproduction is literally artificially constructed using contraceptives. It is not artificial in the sense of marriages and ownership and what not are social-memetic constructs. Either way though, it is relatively new to the species while those conceptual stuff go back much further. Maybe in time we will adjust.

Regarding “primal psychology”, it is admittedly an imprecise term. I used it because I don’t feel like parsing biology, evolutionary psychology, history, cultural conditioning, and game theory. I will just accept that you disagree with the premise and move on.

The separation between STR and LTR is for my own convenience. Suffice to say that my standards for long term commitments and purely sexual relationships are indeed different and much more nuanced. I don’t feel like dissecting it in detail at the moment but promiscuity is just one factor.

I thought about deep diving on sexism but I’m kinda burnt out on this thread. Good talk.

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Well like I said. People tend to go after the things that are seen as bad to the opposite sex.

Men insult women's promiscuity because promiscuity in women is not seen as a good thing to men.

Women go after things that make a man seem undesirable or make him seem like women are uncomfortable around him. Which is hurtful to his reputation with other women.

It makes sense why they do this but yeah they can't have it both ways.

"Don't slut shame women and we won't either" is not a good bargain from a man's perspective because we already don't get slut shamed. Man sluts actually get rewarded with MORE female interest.

Being called a slut as a man is not even seen as an insult. It's generally taken in stride.

Besides every time I've seen a woman refer to a guy as a fuckboy or something. It's always a guy she has personally slept with. It's like a post hoc defense because something happened to make get regret it and not like him or something.

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[–]dbz192 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't think she exists.

You don't think virgin women exist?

You're trying to practice hypergamy by asking for a younger partner with a lower n count than you.

I 100% agree with you. I consider myself a hypergamous male. I want a woman who's younger and a virgin, unlike me. It's no different to women who want a richer guy.

Isn't that why you wouldn't date yourself?

Yeah I wouldn't date a woman who's my age and has an N count the same as mine.

It's also why she can get the "high value male". If she's waiting for Mr. Right.

I'm a low N count guy who's commitment minded. I'm not a virgin but I'm not gonna pump and dump her either. Lots of women don't prioritise virginity in men and would prefer a non-virgin. Even women who want a virgin partner would be okay with a low N count guy.

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I pissed some people off when I said this last time, but in my experience, and guys I've talked to who don't even use reddit, most guys think less of a woman with a "reputation" and actively consider her disgusting, and will make jokes behind her back, probably would never admit to even having sex with her if they did. The take home point is what women see from men is completely different from what men see from men. We say things in front of each other that we never say around you. Reddit and 4chan and other sites like that are way more indicative of what guys say between each other than what you see from them, because here there's anonymity and no fear of repercussion, so we don't have to hide our true thoughts, just like when we have casual conversations with our guy friends irl. We don't need to turn our filter on.

To address the rest of your point, I think there's many reasons someone could want a virgin. I think it's common outside of western culture for a guy to prefer a virgin, or at least a low N woman. For example in Japan, a country which isn't religious at all, its common for a woman to claim that she's a virgin and for men to want a virgin.

I don't think it's necessarily related to mental health issues or autism at all. It's like saying a woman with a height preference or a dick size preference or a preference for guys with abs and muscles has autism and mental illness. It's just a preference. It's just what you want. Simple as that. Women want a guy who they know will protect them and defend them and keep them safe, so they subconsciously go for those qualities. Men want a woman who they know belongs to them and no other man, and they value youth and femininity, so they go for those kinds of qualities.

[–][deleted] 4 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

[–]dbz19No Pill 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link

There's a difference between caring for n-counts and aiming to date only virgins. I'd guess most men in their middle-late 20s and so on don't have the strict preference for virgins.

yeah true. What I was talking about wasn't guys having like, a number cut-off. I guess it's more being grossed by a woman who acts a certain way or who's garnered a reputation. Like a girl who gets gangbanged in orgies I guess.

I've also excluded more conservative cultures and religious people out of the topic. I'm talking about men who aren't deeply religious and don't have this cultural background or society that would cause them to have this preference.

Well when you take out a chunk of actual people, its gonna skew that as well. Conservative cultures and religious people are people too, don't know why you wouldn't count them. The world isn't just liberal America.

I get that PPD men are a skewed sample, most seem to have some kind of issues, but I still find it rather interesting. It seems guys with a strict virgin preference struggle more than others and have higher neuroticism as well as some mental issues to add to it.

What do you base that on?

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[–]dbz19No Pill 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

I'm not surprised a lot of men talk about women like this negatively. They might find the actions hot, but they probably don't want to have an LTR with a woman who has done it. Just like men tend to claim that sex work is totally okay but they wouldn't date a sex worker nor they'd want their daughters to be one.

It's about freedom. I think women should have the right to do porn or sex work. I'd never date one in a million years. Just like they can make their own decisions, so can I. Why is it an issue that men don't want to date a certain type of women or have their daughters become one? I'm sure there are many types of men you wouldn't date.

They have their own reasoning for their preference. Men I'm talking about are from a different background that doesn't make much sense for their preference.

What do you mean it doesn't make sense for their preference. Why can't a man just want a woman that's only his and hasn't been with someone else? Why doesn't that make sense?

Multiple male users who have stated this preference and showed signs of high neuroticism and mental issues. After a second thought, there's a high chance that some of them are just alts though.

You can't diagnose mental illness from a few reddit comments

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I find it rather hypocritical to claim that sex work is just work and then turn around and say that these women are somehow broken.

Sex work should be legal, men and women can do what they want as long as it's consenting, I don't wanna date a sex worker. Is there anything wrong with that sentence?

He can, but from what I've seen here it seems these guys tend to have all sorts of issues. But as I've said PPD sample is skewed.

Causation is not correlation. Just cause you observe something, doesn't mean that it's cause all guys who want virgins or low N women are mentally ill freaks.

Sure, but you can see that a person is troubled. Also some of the guys admitted they have mental issues themselves.

I know who you're talking about and he was a one off scenario and you all relentlessly bullied him about it every day.

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Long Island is just such an odd place. It truly is, I know a lot of people would say something similar to other areas, and it would also be true, but Long Island takes the cake for me personally. Everyone here lives a very, very odd lifestyle.

Most people seem to have very odd morals and ethics surrounding money. If you were to go to other areas and explain that the average person on Long Island chooses to live paycheck to paycheck to live in a house they don’t need and drive cars that are a little over their budget, they would look at you like you were lying. They would think you’re only describing a few people, but it’s literally most of Long Island. Of course this exists in other areas 100%, but Long Island is just a hot spot for it.

The economic inequality is just so strange because someone can live in a regular ass house but be a multi-millionaire. It only becomes fairly obvious out in the Hamptons who has money and closer to waterfront properties across the island.

People can just charge absurd amounts of money for things and nobody cares, because people will still just buy it with no regard for the impact of it.

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This leads back to the literal thing though, a guy saying "Even approaching a girl could land you in jail these days" doesn't mean he actually thinks that's likely to happen, in most cases he's purposefully being facetious.

But WHY? Why is facetiousness a FREQUENT component in arguments?

Regarding the context of that thread, to say that there's a high risk of being arrested for approaching is unreasonable. However there is a reasonable amount of risk today that approaching a woman could lead to a overreaction that leads to detriments of the man due to women's sensitivity.

The biggest and most likely risk to a polite approach is a hit to a man’s ego. But the argument against approaching always comes down to getting to HR, false accusations etc etc. When the truth is there’s a higher probability of a random stranger punching you in the face.

[–][deleted]2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

But WHY? Why is facetiousness a FREQUENT component in arguments?

It excentuates points with a higher degree of severity than being hyperspecific and boring. People have short attention spans so we adapt by making points this way.

The biggest and most likely risk to a polite approach is a hit to a man’s ego.

That is the the likely scenario in terms of chance yes.

But the argument against approaching always comes down to getting to HR, false accusations etc etc.

These aren't highly likely but they are substantial enough to be considerable risks, they do happen often. They are probable enough where we come to social norm consensus like "Don't hit on girls at the gym, work, etc"

The productive thing wouldn't be to invalidate the risk, but to advise towards decreasing the chances of them happening for the individual. You did that to a degree in your thread so good on you, but to say "that never happens" doesn't really help anyone, for the guys that fear those negative outcomes and especially for the guys that never consider it anyway.

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This is an extremely complicated question, I visit a third world country where crimes are committed by youth for status and well women simp dark triads, I even heard of someone that stole iPhones and when he held a girl (that told the story) at gunpoint with no iPhone (and she could prove it) he pulled out a shitty phone and gave it to her for free and warned her that it was dangerous to travel without a phone.

Some of the dirt poorest countries have no crime rate, other advance economies have higher crime rates, there is a correlation but it is so weak that it misses the forest for the trees.

Validation and social status are completely invisible things to sociologists, this country in question had their poverty rate slashed in half and crime rates actually went up. It was the culture.

Cuba does not have this culture so the crime is very very low.

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My argument is that in Cuba crime is very low

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1002695/homicide-rate-cuba/

The more authoritarian the government the less crime.

Not a real correlation

The more socialist the less crime.

Not really either, Venezuela used to be super socialist and crime went up to horrific rates.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/984669/homicide-rate-venezuela/

Now that they are back to being "capitalist" (after the economic collapse) the murder rate went down to almost half.

I’m not sure why it unnerves your to admit there’s correlation between poverty AND lack of opportunity AND unsavory “jobs”

Because it is not the truth, not tackling the truth head on means more missery and death.

Honest escorts don't hurt anyone so that is why I think blanket decriminalization is the only choice.

But crime? sure legalize drugs that is a big step, poverty is not the issue, however easy money IS. Also tackle the culture, you are never fixing crime with women going gaga for dark triad criminals, I can promise you that.

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Title	Daily Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	27
Comments	1633
Date	April 15, 2022 1:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/u47it9/daily_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/daily-community-chat-megathread.1112579 https://theredarchive.com/post/1112579

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