Men: What do you bring to the table?

ButFirstMyCoffee · 2025-03-06T22:56:33+00:00

I cook.
I'm thoughtful.
My mom says I'm handsome.
My mom says I'm funny.
I have a stable job that pays enough to support a family of 4.
I'm responsible enough to maintain the things I own and keep a schedule.
I cook.

Seriously, fellas. Feed women. They can't yell at you if their mouth is full of delicious chicken parm.

MyUpSeemsDown · 2025-03-07T01:55:23+00:00

A solid 2 incher cooter punisher and a whole lot of insecurities to burden the woman with.

Jokes aside, I think the answer to the question is rather pointless unless it can be generalized because I don't see the point in listing out shit that I'm capable or I think I'm good at unless I'm trying to advertise myself on Reddit of all places, like what significance does that even hold.

That being said, the most generally true statement that can be made about what one party could offer assuming the most vanilla relationship imo are company, connection, being emotional confidants/pillars for each other, and this is really regardless the gender. I guess those qualities in a relationship are the most important now days where we aren't confined to traditional notion which as you have mentioned with the example.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-03-07T02:38:18+00:00

Depends on the girl. On a first date I let the waitress bring everything to the table though.

Den_the_God-King · 2025-03-07T20:42:03+00:00

Criminal versatility, meth, cluster B pathology, problems, abuse.

nonquitt · 2025-03-06T22:06:41+00:00

I feel like I tend to date my “equals,” so the concept of bringing things to the table is not really there

Even if I did date someone who is in some way much better or much worse than me, I wouldn’t want to look at it like that..

I know I’m not the target market for this question — but the real question for me is what drives people to look at dating like a competition between man and woman as opposed to finding a partner. Is it just a string of bad experiences and then you’re like alright you know what they all suck

I wonder if there’s also an element of “i can’t just date someone i enjoy being around, because i don’t enjoy being around anyone, because i don’t enjoy being around myself”

Ok_Use7 · 2025-03-06T23:19:26+00:00

Nothing. I don’t feel like I have to prove myself in order to be worthy of a relationship so I don’t bring anything to the table.

If someone doesn’t think I’m a viable option, that’s ok, I’ll just go date someone else.

GH0STRIDER579 · 2025-03-07T00:48:11+00:00

Nothing, but it's all good because I don't date anyways.

WanabeInflatable · 2025-03-07T04:51:31+00:00

I earn 75% of family income.

I cook and clean. Not 100% but my wfie is also doing it situationally. We have hired people for that. Most of the time I live separately from my family - in another country. When I live alone, I cook and clean myself.

When I'm living with family:

I care for her mother (she has diabetes and dementia and really needs help).

Walking with dog is mostly my duty. But kids sometimes do.

I go shopping for groceries (small amounts). If we need to buy a lot, we order delivery or go together by car.

I fix some minor things at home.

When my wife was recovering after surgeries I had been treating her wounds and helping her.

I organize some trips on vacations. Three weeks ago we have been to a ski resort in Armenia. This was my idea and organization. Though more often wife is organizing trips.

I help my kids with homework, math, physics, English etc.

I accompany my kids to doctors though nowadays my wife is more involved in their health since I moved away and visit them only occasionally.

When kids were younger I did all sorts of things, feeding (my wife lost milk almost immediately), diapers, bathing them, lulling to sleep and telling tales etc

Nevertheless my marriage sucks and it was certainly a mistake.

JollyRoger66689 · 2025-03-07T13:21:27+00:00

6ft hispanic in a hispanic area (we tend to be shorter on average) , never cheated, jokester/goofball, financially stable although was a bit of a workaholic in the recent past and I'm a chubby chaser (definitely has been helpful in dating these days)

Master-Watercress567 · 2025-03-06T22:13:17+00:00

Extremely memorable personality, very tall, extremely confident in most ways, fun hobbies, and at least six toes.

MikeArrow · 2025-03-06T22:12:54+00:00

Not very much, to be honest.

I'm pretty mediocre in terms of being boyfriend material. I don't get out much or do any social activities, I have mobility issues due to my bad back, and my body is pretty disgusting to look at. A woman that shows up to an event with me on her arm is going to get some sympathetic looks.

That said, I think I'm a pretty good conversationalist when the occasion arises. I'm well read, well educated. I'm very polite and well spoken. I like to listen and hear stories and I enjoy talking about creative writing and storytelling. I have a steady job, plenty of money in the bank, I'm rock solid in that regard. It's just the visual presentation is lacking, so none of that stuff matters at all.

PlainTundra · 2025-03-06T22:15:15+00:00

With my gf, genuine connection and deep mutual understanding.

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flexible-photon · 2025-03-06T23:55:18+00:00

I'm strong and lead an active lifestyle due to lifting weights regularly for decades (I'm 51) though I'm not ripped. I have a successful well paid career (over $200k/yr). I own two homes and have a net worth of over a million dollars without counting the houses. Most people who know me claim I'm one of the smartest people they know. I'm a bit of a nerd (and probably a bit on the spectrum with ADHD though undiagnosed) and love learning and reading and know a lot of things about a wide array of topics and love talking and debate. I'm a great lover based on reactions from my partners and ex-wife as I have an interest in kink. I'm capable of admitting my short comings that I know can be a turn off. I can be overly responsible and take my sweet time on decision making. I am an introvert and don't seek social situations but when I'm with people I know and trust I can be very social. I'm a mixed bag and not for everybody. I want for nothing other than to raise my two teen boys to capable men. Oh ...and I love cooking.

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-03-07T01:06:02+00:00

Passion with my hobbies, Empathetic and sympathetic, Kindness, Mostly non judgmental, Mindfulness, Stable job, Financially responsible No addictions, Mostly open minded, Cook, Clean, Do and fold laundry, Willing to try new things, Mental and emotional support (although different due to my Asperger’s.), Loyalty, Listener.

I guess in a sense this is all basic stuff which would be ok if I wasn’t ugly but since I am, it’s not enough in a sense.

Illustrious-Baker775 · 2025-03-07T03:03:34+00:00

I come to the table as equals. Im not offering anything they dont have, and not accepting anything i dont have.

Haej07 · 2025-03-07T05:09:54+00:00

When you say bring to the table we are talking about in terms to a partner and not just outright positive traits right?

I’m thoughtful

I love to share and give

I’m funny

Affectionate & Romantic

Resilient & consistent

Dependable

Good at conversation

Very empathetic

Make decent financial decisions

Great at conflict resolution

I’m a family oriented person and thus probably make a good impression and have strong relationships with a partner’s family/friends

linx28 · 2025-03-07T05:52:29+00:00

a vasectomy? jokes aside im pretty average and i like my alone time a lot but someone to spend time with when i can (going to work in emergency services) would be nice but i still like my own space mostly becuse im a tad of a mess and dont mind walking around the house in underwear on days off

that being said given i dont have much to off besides back rubs and someone to nerd out with im not after much in a partner just being a nice decent person who is direct with what she wants and im all yours except if you want kids

just_a_place · 2025-03-07T06:22:47+00:00

My Income
My attention/Time/Effort
Affection/Love/Empathy
Loyalty/Protection/Support/Commitment
My Home
My Social Network
My Skills
My kidney and one of my lungs.
My family
Intimacy
And lastly: My Understanding - which is the reason why I will NEVER put any of the above on the table for any woman, ever.

Red Pill 101: "You can either love women, or you can understand them; but you cannot do both."

antariusz · 2025-03-07T06:23:14+00:00

I make decisions without complaining about it.

I am emotionally stable and don’t mind if you aren’t.

I make something like 5x the median salary. I don’t care about your job, unless you want to get married/have kids, in which case I’m rightfully concerned about divorce rape or child support decisions being anti-high earner, but even then, as long as you have a career and not just working in fast food or a gas station or something similar, I’d be happy.

I have more sexual experience than 99% of the human population, I don’t have a bucket list, no pressure to do anything you do or don’t want to experiment with, I’ll never feel like I’ve missed out on anything.

I’m not super in-shape. But I know when I’m falling further into fatness and I’ll self-correct with dieting so that I never let myself go too badly.

throwawaytradesman2 · 2025-03-07T17:40:17+00:00

Hi OP,

I'm not sure if you mean in general or personally.

Personally though, I am handy, I can do basic house repair, plumbing, and extensive mechanical repair work. I will not fight for you, but I'll defend you to the death. And, yes, I can fight. I earn 100k plus and hope to earn more than that in the future. I cook, I clean, I'm at the gym or training martial arts.

My red flags? I'm very slow to anger. I detest violence and avoid it at all costs. I'm very centrist in my political views. And, no woman will ever change my plans for success. I have goals and I intend to achieve them. I do NOT babysit bullshit or your lack of emotional regulation.

I guess, pretty standard stuff on my end of things. No, I'm not 5ft tall. Haha.

BigMoistTwonkie · 2025-03-07T19:32:23+00:00

I hate this whole "table" thing, whether it's applied to men OR to women. You're basically just asking the men on this sub to glaze themselves by writing you a long laundry list of all of the things that they think are "good" about themselves.

At the end of the day, so many of the things that people end up writing when they try to put "everything out on the table" are really just superficial, second-order things that are nice to have, but don't ultimately matter in terms of creating a healthy, mutually beneficial, enjoyable, satisfactory relationship.

When I think of the relationship I'm in right now, what I think we both mutually bring to the table for each other is:

We both take care of our appearances. Not to the level of some Instagram influencer or a fitness model, but neither one of us are obese and we are both attracted to each other physically. We are both sober.
We enjoy having sex with each other very much, and we both try our best to satisfy each other when we do.
We are both college educated, we both have full time jobs and have held them for years, and neither of us have any debt of any kind (ie. no mortgage, no student loans, no car loans, no credit card debt, no medical debt). We never argue over money and neither one of us expects the other to be a "provider" for us. We are independent, financially.
We are best friends. We talk every single day. We can talk to each other about anything and everything, without any fear of either of us being "too vulnerable".
We both have a sense of humor and crack each other up, pretty much every time we talk.
We enjoy spending time with each other, regardless of what it is that we are doing. It doesn't matter if we are going out to do something, or just staying inside. We just enjoy being with each other, full stop.
We are both atheists, and we are both left-leaning (although she is more progressive than I am). So our worldviews don't clash in some incompatible way.

It really doesn't go any deeper than that. It shouldn't have to. Anything that anybody writes outside of those seven things, is just window dressing, it's just icing on the cake. Outside of sexual attraction, good sex, financial stability, friendship, humor, and quality time together, what else really matters? What else do you have to "bring to the table"?

weenieandthebutt · 2025-03-07T23:46:00+00:00

I'm more of a, "if there's real spark/connection" type of guy rather than, "what's good on paper". I'll admit I have a tendency to try and bat above my league when it comes to LTRs.

I don't earn the type of money that's bragworthy but I am generous when it comes to paying for things and gifts. This includes ordering ubers to make sure they get back home safe (even if I'm not physically with them).
I am willing to cook or the very least make sure you're well fed.
I sometimes do sentimental gifts and organise fun/romantic activities.
In my last relationship, I took annual leave and flew all the way back to Portugal in an attempt to retrieve my ex's lost jacket where I'd slept in a cold airport.
I made an effort to keep in shape, groom, wear nice perfumes, dress decent etc but I admit I've become lazier in that regard but I really wanna get back into it.
I'm patient and understanding of someone's emotions or them having bad days.

In return, I don't expect a partner to cook for me or even give me gifts. All I ask for in return is just not deny me my sexual needs but even then I'm not high maintenance in that regard. Not sure if that's a satisfactory response but I do try to show my love in certain ways.

James_M_Croft · 2025-03-09T00:09:00+00:00

So, here is my question to men, what do you bring to the table? To a woman who is financially independent and emotionally stable, with a good support system of course, someone who can be in a relationship but doesn't need one.

You tell me, I am in my 40s. I should not be getting women half my age yet I am. I have some guesses tho

I thought once that it was the wealth, power, looks, social skills and status. I was better than most of these women in at least 3 out of 5 of these by at least 2 points when I was young. But I am not so sure anymore. I am not as good as I once was, (Yes, they are less and lesser than when I was younger, but I would have assumed it would be worse by now, I never expected be like this in my 40s).

Now I think it is just that I share all of these good things with them while having less demands.

Yeah younger men may have more than me, but they also demand more like relationships, good behavior, mental heath, independence, maturity, love, companionship's. and kids. I don't, I couldn't care less whatever they are, or whatever they do, I don't even want them around unless it is for sex, and well, I guess that's enough for some. You could say I just see them as sex workers I pay with favors and entertainment instead of money. And well, it seems like it is enough for some girls out there. I just don't go for sex workers really out of tradition at this point. Maybe it is time to change.

ViolentShallot · 2025-03-06T21:57:23+00:00

I'm funny. I'm caring, I'm smart and driven. I'm a good problem solver. I look good, and I'm good in bed. And my fiancée approves my childfulness.

DGenerationMC · 2025-03-06T22:30:18+00:00

I bring clean utensils, how about you?

OwnedIGN · 2025-03-07T01:45:14+00:00

I am the table lol

Timosox · 2025-03-07T00:41:57+00:00

A pack of smokes and a deck of cards. And I read books

LoopyPro · 2025-03-07T07:58:41+00:00

You're overestimating the portion of women who want to be the leader in the relationship.

Look at leading as it goes in ballroom dancing, not bossing someone around as you might mistake it for.

Nothing would ever get done when I'm taking the backseat. Over the years, I've observed that women get frustrated when men do that because they want to spend their time on other things rather than acting like their moms.

Barely-moral · 2025-03-06T22:39:15+00:00

To a woman who is financially independent and emotionally stable, with a good support system of course, someone who can be in a relationship but doesn't need one.

Nothing. Nothing that she can't get from someone else that can do it better than me so she should go for those options that are available to her.

I wouldn't bother. Why go after a woman that doesn't need me?

katana236 · 2025-03-06T22:05:25+00:00

Some good dick!

Nah but seriously. My wife didn't have financial independence and all that. Which is fine we're both very traditional and believe the man should provide. Which I do.

I am fanatically devoted to my wife, and my 2 children. I have no issue sacrificing for them.

As previously mentioned I am great in bed. Women love me. 10/10. No woman can resist.

And I can be a lot of fun. When I'm not wasting my time arguing with strangers on reddit.

abaxeron · 2025-03-06T22:21:05+00:00

To a woman who is financially independent

That's already a minority.

emotionally stable

Oof, that's a minority of a minority.

with a good support system of course

That's all of them; no change

someone who can be in a relationship but doesn't need one.

You list things that this hypothetical woman has, but don't list things that she lacks, so I don't know what I could bring to the table for her. I know what I bring to the table in my relationship.

I come up with parody songs on the fly, do massage, cook (when I have time for it), set up educational experiments for our kid, fix stuff, draw and paint, and even if I'm only slightly taller and stronger than an average woman, I'm still taller and stronger than my SO, so if I had a normal lunch, I also help with heavy bags, tall shelves, and pickle jars. Also I'm fine at managing investments and do the paperwork around monthly bills/utilities. This is ignoring my qualities as a lover and breadwinner.

GrandpaDallas · 2025-03-06T23:12:08+00:00

I think of myself as enjoyable company, who is good at sex, and has a thirst for adventure. I bring a partnership that will allow for continued independence while serving as a rock she can lean on whenever she needs. I'm fun, I'm nice, I'm funny, I'm stable, I'm in good health, I take care of myself and my space.

That's more or less the minimum these days

LoopyPro · 2025-03-06T22:44:53+00:00

I can lighten the mood. I can solve problems. I'm able to take the lead so she can put her brain on "stand-by" mode or shift her focus towards roles/tasks she's relatively better at.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-03-06T22:17:03+00:00

someone who can be in a relationship but doesn't need one.

Nothing, there's nothing outside looks that you can provide for such person. Chances are that she will die alone.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-03-06T23:32:55+00:00

Well, my wife is the beneficiary of these, but...

I'm lean, athletic, in good shape, and attractive, and willing to try most things. I look young for my age (in a good way). I have a full head of hair, no back hair, and am in good overall health.
I'm a hard worker who is ambitious and always looking to make things better both personally and professionally. I die inside when things get stagnant, and am always trying to better my circumstances.
I know and understand money and how to manage and invest it.
I know and understand debt and how to use it wisely to grow wealth.
I'm hilarious, provided I'm around people who are social enough to (wittingly or unwittingly) set up jokes. I'm masterful at one liners, and my sense of humor is pretty well-rounded for a number of different styles.
I'm an adventurous eater who is willing to try MOST things. I do not have dietary restrictions. I'm really good at finding cool places to eat and things to do. I plan great dates, but I'm also spontaneous and fun to be around for the more routine moments. I'm a great road trip partner, a good driver, and I willingly do the lion's share of the driving.
I'm encouraging. I'm be a source of reassurance and strength when she encounters difficulty. This is inspirational to her both in the pursuit of her hobbies, her own career, and in herself.
I'm always learning new things and eager to share my knowledge with her. I'm also eager to learn more about her and her interests.
I tell good stories, am easy to talk to, and a good conversationalist. I'm intellectually curious and a good listener.
I enjoy the outdoors (except during allergy season), I'm told I'm really good in emergencies, I'm protective, and I lead my life in a way that I am prepared for most possible calamities.
I'm intelligent, perceptive, have high EQ in reading the emotions of others, and am college educated. I can have discussion about abstract concepts and theories, specifics, or banalities.
I have a few good, core friend groups. These are deep friendships, even if we don't see each other all the time. I have my own hobbies and interests and am not dependent on her for socialization, nor do I monopolize her time.
I'm handy around the house and own a full set of tools.
I actively play two sports recreationally in leagues. Free games to attend, if she desires. I also love attending sporting events, know baseball and hockey in particular intimately, and am happy to impart the knowledge or keep it casual. I also enjoy a good hike.
I maintain an openminded, nonjudgmental approach towards sexuality, see it as something fun two people who like each other do, and I am willing to pursue livening up things in the bedroom while maintaining an open mind to new experiences without being pushy about it.
I'm an unselfish lover who prioritizes her pleasure. I'm a good kisser and flirt, I'm very physically affectionate, and I don't snore.

...among others.

ThatGuyFromThisPlace · 2025-03-06T23:40:39+00:00

I'm handsome
I cook
I'm funny
I'm a great listener
I'm amazing in calming people down in stressful situations
I'm pretty good in emergency situations. I stay calm and can figure out what to do quickly
I like to think I'm pretty good in bed. At least that's what past reviews suggested
I have a cute accent

aslfingerspell · 2025-03-06T23:47:56+00:00

I am fit, good at communication, and want to make someone feel wanted and pleased.

I do not ever want someone to just starfish or just let me get it over with. I can only enjoy it if they do too.

berichorbeburied · 2025-03-07T01:41:23+00:00

money/spoiling/
want/desire
love
physique/athletisim
enlarged sexual organ
tall
pretty eyes
understanding/connection/bond
amazing sex FOR HER
energy/creativity/charisma
peace
family/offspring
trust/dependability/honor/honesty
affection
etc etc etc

Friedrich_Friedson · 2025-03-07T18:05:14+00:00

This question is deranged.

I don't need to fill a job resume. If i get closer to someone, they'll see what I "bring in the table"(aka any positive qualities i have).

Den_the_God-King · 2025-03-07T21:04:39+00:00

Would you ask this to a friend?

woodclip · 2025-03-06T22:41:47+00:00

what do you bring to the table? To a woman who is financially independent and emotionally stable, with a good support system of course, someone who can be in a relationship but doesn't need one.

If she doesn't need a relationship, why even ask men what they "bring to the table"?

It's like asking "I don't need any money. How much money can you give me?"

redandswollen · 2025-03-06T21:57:31+00:00

God, I'd give my left nut for a woman who's financially independent and emotionally stable.

That said, I bring intelligence, finances, fitness, an adventurous lifestyle, humor, and emotional support.

mobjack · 2025-03-06T22:05:11+00:00

A financially stable partner to build a life with and sex.

Tywinlol2 · 2025-03-06T22:12:59+00:00

In no particular order: emotional and mental support, attentive listening, cost-sharing, pleasant company, good and sound financial, and general life advice, protection, loyalty, bdsm and sex, presentable life partner, that your parents will love (so long as you don't ask for marriage), sharp wit and sense of humor, patience and open mind, knowledge of Europe, economy and geo-politics (if you need it), honest, frank and open communication, endurance and cool mind in time of crisis (by this point in life I don't think I even remember how to panic), networking opportunities in local government, organization, structure and discipline, willingness to schedule your appointments (many people are terrified to talk on the phone and in general for some reason, and I'm not and can do that for you), awesome orange cat (all do he a bit of an asshole, and will probably assault you at least few times), relatively advanced knowledge of electronics and help with them, knowledge of several languages and thus translation services, personal time (I'm not clingy and will also expect the same), sandwiches and knowledge of best pizza places around, and also local Slavic restaurants, excellent taste in literature and classical music, minor repairs around the house, appreciation for your bang maid services (I will not take you or what you do for me or relationship for granted), words of affirmation, hugs and kisses, compliments, and many other things that I would list if not for the lack of time.

SituacijaJeSledeca · 2025-03-06T23:04:16+00:00

The most important quality a man can have, pretty face and nice light colored eyes (green in my case). Also hair is pretty decent.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2025-03-06T22:22:33+00:00

Let me think….I, uh…I’ll get back to you

Silver_Past2313 · 2025-03-07T02:48:23+00:00

Very few women fit your description. So for most women, I would bring those things. With the woman you describe, I would bring great sex and DNA for baby making and the fatherly role in parenthood.

StopTheIncels · 2025-03-06T22:38:33+00:00

 //shitposts in code const tableHelper = (relationshipStatus, singleWoman) => { if(singleWoman && relationshipStatus === singleAndLookingForRelationship){ setTableStatus(techBroMaxx); } } //Maxed out 401k every year //Pension (on top of 401k) //Good healthcare (spousal and dependents) //Extreme job safety (municipal government IT) //I can build the table legs (sorta, good with Ikea shit) //I can ropegun your proj outside (5.12+) minimum

Title	Men: What do you bring to the table?
Author	Brave-Reindeer-Red
Upvotes	13
Comments	149
Date	March 6, 2025 9:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1j575ec/men_what_do_you_bring_to_the_table/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-what-do-you-bring-to-the-table.1545843 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545843

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