Why do most men associate beauty with arousal?

Stoic_WillToPower · 2021-12-01T12:15:49+00:00

Beauty is too subjective of a word for your question. A horse can be beautiful.

Arousal is what happens as a consequence of being stimulated. It is a physical reaction that for men can include releasing chemicals and hormones and having blood rush to their sexual organs.

I think you are conflating a lot of stuff.

I think your question is why does attraction lead to sexual thoughts and comments from men?

I don’t think comments and thoughts are just limited to men. Women do it to. I am sure that lesbian women also do it. Maybe you just have not experienced that. Granted men probably do it more and are far more vocal. Part of it is male bravado. It is just a way that men communicate amongst each other. Men are visual. The release of chemicals is linked directly to our visual cortex.

The cocktail of chemicals that a person’s body releases when they are “in love” is similar to cocaine in its effect. This is often why people cheat because our brains dope us up really good when “sparks fly” or we get “butterflies in our stomach”.

Human beings are drug addicts without ever having to use a drug. We are born drug addicts. Every single scientific study on the brain shows that human beings are drug addicts from drugs manufactured inside ourselves. Those drugs influence our behavior as far as sex and relationships. Those drugs help defend us or help us flee. Those drugs even protect us from the fear of dying.

It is men vocalizing taking a hit from the drug machine that is the human brain.

Yoga pants and a tight ass gives some good hits of that dopamine and friends

Shredddz · 2021-12-01T12:26:29+00:00

Men are turned on primarily by looks aswell as a certain behavior towards them, but looks alone are sufficient. Its the most primary characteristic of male sexuality. Its just like that biologically. It has no cause, its just a natural reflex when certain conditions are met, and visuals alone are sufficient.

KirthWGersen · 2021-12-01T12:12:12+00:00

The sight of an attractive woman is arousing to men. It is involuntary.

We don't have a muscle in our penises that we use to make it hard. It simply happens through arousal.

tickledpic · 2021-12-01T14:35:16+00:00

My lesbian women friends could stare at nude pictures of models and won't associate it with sex. They will compliment their style, their vibe. So do I.

That's false. You just don't verbalize the fact of your arousal out loud.

I think it was ML Chivers that made the experiment of showing all kinds of pictures to men and women, having them hooked on a machine that tests for arousal and having them describe what they find arousing and what not.

The conclusion was that men are straightforward - what they tell arouses them, actually does and what they tell doesn't arouse them, actually doesn't.

But women are not straightforward at all. Even in a safe environment were the possibility of judgment was lowered significantly they still didn't indicitate arousal verbally while their body was sending clear signals of arousal.

Women were aroused by anything and everything sexual. Even pictures of monkeys having sex. Yes, women got turned on by looking at monkeys. Men didn't.

Now, tell me who is the hornier of the two, huh!

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-12-01T16:17:34+00:00

It's always shocking to me when women are shocked to learn that men and women are different. They've been raised to believe we are equal since birth, so they have to learn the hard way that we are turned on by different things. "Men are aroused by women flaunting their figure!? But women aren't like that, so how can men be like that!?"

Women confuse their biological imperative with virtue. In OP's mind, men are morally inferior because they don't have the innate sexual responses that women do.

While guys, in order to describe a woman's beauty, will talk about how they want to do her or how hard she makes them.

It is always entertaining to hear women describe how men allegedly speak to one another about women, but never hitting the mark. I've literally never said to a guy friend "Angela gives me a semi-, but Denice makes me 100% Rottweiler Hard!"

TotalTravesty · 2021-12-01T13:06:31+00:00

Because most people aren’t demisexual. The same systems that make us want to have sex with a girl when we’re single don’t magically disappear when we’re in a committed relationship.

You can thank higher functions like empathy or ethics or loyalty or recognition of consequences for some men not running around cheating, but yeah you’re basically asking why sexually healthy men act sexually healthy.

EDIT:

While guys, in order to describe a woman's beauty, will talk about how they want to do her or how hard she makes them.

You hang around children or unsettlingly creepy dudes. Even when us guys aren’t within earshot of women, we don’t talk like that. I mean, that’s what we’re all thinking, but we don’t talk like that.

ZoeLevinxoxo · 2021-12-01T12:08:49+00:00

Biology, thats a question you should ask mother nature.

sniper1905 · 2021-12-01T14:46:06+00:00

Beautiful woman makes peepee go vroom.

armordog99 · 2021-12-01T15:15:21+00:00

In reproduction the primary purpose of the male is to create the children. The primary purpose of the female is to raise the child. (Not saying the only, saying primary)

Males have, on average, a higher sex drive than women. Men’s sex drive is proactive, constantly looking for sex. A women’s sex drive is primarily reactive.

There is saying I heard years ago; “Women need a reason to fuck, men just need a place”. This is glaringly noticeable when you look at the difference in sexual activity between lesbian couples, straight couples, and gay male couples. On average lesbians have sexual activity 1-2 a month, straights 1-2 a week, and gay male couples 6-7 times a week.

Gay males are also the most likely to seek sexual activity outside their relationship, both with and without their partners consent. They also engage in brief, anonymous, sexual activity in parks, rest stops, etc. You rarely see that kind of activity in straight couples and it’s almost unheard of in lesbians.

social_mule · 2021-12-01T16:17:12+00:00

Because men are aroused, in large part, by a woman's beauty.

Why do women sit down to take a piss? Men don't do this. I mean if a man has to take a shit and he's already sitting down he may also take a piss while he's there but most men don't sit down just to take a piss. Not even gay men. Yet women do. Why is this?

Women aren't men. Men aren't women.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-01T12:58:57+00:00

Men and women tend to project onto each other how they get aroused themselves. That's why you will hear a man who sees a girl in the right a bit too tight pants and a little too revealing shirt and they are ready to go. And you will hear women who say that they need to talk to a guy and have him make her laugh before they even consider going to bed with him.

The reality is men need two criteria to become aroused. A woman needs to be physically attractive enough AND she needs to appear willing. Men project that onto women all the time and they think, "if I were a hot woman, there would be a lot of people willing to fuck me and surely some of them must be attractive enough to me, so all I need to do is proclaim loudly in the middle of the street that I want to have sex with someone and there would be plenty of takers".

Of course, arousal doesn't work this way for women. They want a guy who is self loving and respecting, confident, charming, funny. Etc.

this-is-very · 2021-12-01T15:33:52+00:00

Men and women aren't the same. Do not use your lesbian friends for reference, please. Men have much stronger libidos.

Matt_Door · 2021-12-01T13:16:21+00:00

This is kind of like asking why someone wants to eat delicious food when they see or smell it. You just want to.

Pablo_el_Diablo88 · 2021-12-01T13:11:03+00:00

It's just genetics. You shouldn't make it look negative, as much as men don't make it look negative that women have a larger hip bones structure.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-12-01T15:08:56+00:00

While guys, in order to describe a woman's beauty, will talk about how they want to do her or how hard she makes them.

Back when my wife was working for some bigger company, she would want to tell me about her co-workers I'd never meet or care about and annoy me with mundane daily details so many women like to talk about and why men have the ability to listen but not hear.

So she would describe some woman in detail I couldn't picture anyways, and finally I just told her "would I do her?" when she was in some long description of a woman's appearance. She said "No" and I said "there thats all I need to know". That was 20+ years ago, and to this day if my wife gets off tract on this sort of thing I just say "would I do her" and we laugh.

We men, or at least most normal straight ones, only care if they are sexually attractive or not as that is our main marker. Her style and colors and whatever just don't matter its a very binary system, "yes" or "no". Now of course its not quite binary there is "yes" and "hell yes!", but her vibe, style and such don't factor in a way we could articulate.

This of course leads into the idea "Men only think of women as sex objects!" and its kinda true but not really, we just don't find the same things important. Fashion is for women, not men.

RPslimjim · 2021-12-01T15:17:41+00:00

Women really fail to understand how powerful testosterone is as an arousal/ mating device. Men just process things differently than women and that’s fine. It doesn’t mean they care any less. It’s just different. Men like looks and women like words. That’s why men lie and women wear makeup.

tonyghow · 2021-12-01T16:18:27+00:00

Short answer: Testosterone.

My lesbian women friends could stare at nude pictures of models and won't associate it with sex.

This is not universal. Maybe your friends are being tactful around you. Sure, often men are more crass (around other men) than women, but not always.

I have 3 lesbian friends, one is single, the other two are coupled. They are all very intensely visually reactive. The single one is so much so, that says she turns herself on when she walks by the mirror naked and has to stop and masturbate. As well as getting turned on by women she sees out and about.

I presume this is based on how much testosterone someone carries.

There are plenty of studies and info on how testosterone increases sexual desire for women.

They found that testosterone therapy successfully increased sexual desire in all of their female participants

They even discuss how testosterone ebbs and flows during women's menstrual cycle. Something that I experienced with an ex, where she would get insanely horny and visual during ovulation.

srs328 · 2021-12-01T16:20:05+00:00

This is a completely flawed premise. I can say as a guy that I can look at a picture of an attractive woman, acknowledge her beauty, and not get aroused. It depends on my prior mood. And what kind of cavemen are you associating with that all the guys you know can only describe a woman’s beauty based on their dick’s response

odd_cloud · 2021-12-01T16:53:18+00:00

I'd say sexual/beautiful are on two different scales. A woman may dress sexual or beautiful or both. I think it's today's fashion that mixes sexual and beautiful.

PronKing10 · 2021-12-01T18:02:03+00:00

If someone notices your dick gets hard when you see a hot woman it’s easy to think that means you want to fuck that hot woman since that is what a hard dick is for

undersupervixen · 2021-12-01T12:16:12+00:00

The "why" is because guys have penises that are extremely sensitive and we learn very quickly what causes erections and what does not. So guys develop what I would call a "penis sense". Many women can observe erections and their effects on men and learn to use that effect.

Women on the other hand just seem to be more cerebral about what's attractive as if it's art appreciation and it seems like their genitals aren't even connected to their brains. I consider most women to suffer a form of "genital blindness" relative to men.

Notanothrshitthrow · 2021-12-01T12:14:25+00:00

Simple, men suffer from horny brain more than women do. Most likely a biological drive behind that, as well as being in a society which caters to male desires a lot.

fwoketrash · 2021-12-01T16:17:30+00:00

You ask it like men choose to do that. Like men are consciously saying "I will now decide to associate beauty with arousal!"

It's just biology. That's how men are wired. End of story.

AutoModerator · 2021-12-01T12:03:07+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-12-01T13:46:25+00:00

Because if a woman is beautiful , I'm going to imagine having sex with her AKA being aroused by her, it is what it is

EmptyVisage · 2021-12-01T14:16:16+00:00

Are you a robot? Noticing aesthetic beauty is a conscious examination of features, arousal is a subconscious response to attractive features. There may or may not be intersections between but the two are entirely separate concepts.

Taipanshimshon · 2021-12-01T14:48:56+00:00

This is a totally involuntary process and I suspect not as intense as it is in women.

RedPill115 · 2021-12-01T15:54:02+00:00

I occasionally see some women complaining or feeling insecure about their partner getting turned on whenever they see some attractive women or women wearing tight/revealing clothes

Lot of humblebragging from the women. Closest analogy I can make is that everyone is super impressed by your car, but then someone tries to steal it. Now you still like that everyone likes your car but you also feel a little nervous and unhappy about it, all at the same time.

Women are attracted to a man the other women also find attractive.
They are also drawn to the idea they could lock him down for themselves and make sure he'd never leave.
They cycle through trying to do despite them being somewhat condradictory

I have always wondered about that because it seems that the majority of men are that way while women are not.

A decent amount of womens sexual response is reactive. It's him desiring her and coming after her - that causes her to get turned on - in response.

He needs to be turned on first to get things started.

lybid8 · 2021-12-01T16:19:34+00:00

Bc men have fewer inhibitors and are are sometimes excited by looks alone. This all depends on the person. Some women are like this too.

Michel__Ney · 2021-12-01T16:31:34+00:00

Because we're monkeys hardwired to want to breed, but we're also big brained monkeys with the capacity to exercise restraint and courtesy. There are no excuses for speaking about women in such a way, it's disrespectful and degenerate. Especially if you already have a woman talking about other women in that regard is completely unacceptable. I've called out friends on this behaviour and I'd encourage other men to do the same.

mikey152 · 2021-12-01T14:32:11+00:00

I’ve read all the comments in this thread, and the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.

More testosterone means it is easier to get aroused. Men have more testosterone. So, in general, it is easier for men to get aroused.

But I do also think there is a social component at play. I don’t know that I would blame porn, though. Porn is more a result of the social dynamic than a cause. The reality is the male sexual response has been normalized. Most people truly believe it is “out of their control” to the point where it is just accepted. And if it is an acceptable behavior, there’s really no need to suppress it…hell, most social norms ENCOURAGE it so long as it doesn’t lead to making other uncomfortable. Mild objectification is pretty much assumed by all parties involved as the norm.

But don’t believe the bullshit. It is controllable. It is not 100% involuntary. There just isn’t really any incentive to control it in most situations, so it’s not. Or in the case of younger males, they just haven’t learned how to control it yet.

LUCKYMAZE · 2021-12-01T14:47:32+00:00

Women are turned on by looks just like men, what are you talking about? They did an experiment measuring arousal in males and females by measuring the temperature rise in genitalia and they found out that women get aroused from things that men wouldn't even consider sexual. For example, they figured out that women get aroused when watching animals having intercourse while men do not.

LackOf_Empathy · 2021-12-01T12:36:35+00:00

In biology, men naturally have far more testosterone than a woman.

NockerJoe · 2021-12-01T14:33:49+00:00

Anyone who thinks this is a male only thing needs to get out more. Back when I was in way better shape lre covid I'd sometimes get checked out by women in a way that was clearly sexually motivated, before any words could be exchanged or even just working out by the window of my old gym I may as well have been a side or beef in a butchers window.

This whole idea that women can't want to fuck a guy if he looks good is so goddamn weird. This isn't even a men vs woman thing so much as some women have no awareness that some people work different from them.

NotTheBestMoment · 2021-12-01T14:39:13+00:00

Most adult men don’t get hard when they see someone attractive walking around.

rurunoa · 2021-12-01T12:10:06+00:00

i honestly think it has to do with porn and how increasingly more people are getting addicted to it. porn does mess with your brain and makes you see women or even men as objects the way they are depicted in porn

aesthetic_anus_43 · 2021-12-01T13:57:22+00:00

It’s not a conscious thing You don’t look at a girl in a crop top and yoga pants and think “hmm, what an attractive specimen, I think I will proceed with an erection” (?) Arousal is an unconscious thing

Also you mean to tell me women won’t look at 6 pack dudes and start creaming their spinach? Come on…

ogsimpology · 2021-12-01T14:29:31+00:00

Because men are MOSTLY visual. If you have a good career, that makes you a secure partner, but not sexy. If you're cinfident, that makes you confident, not sexy. If you're smart, that means you're smart, not sexy.

If you have a good body and face, that makes you sexy.

IcarusKiki · 2021-12-02T03:17:42+00:00

bc if men werent horny they would pass up opportunities to mate and be at an evolutionary disadvantage

wtknight · 2021-12-01T13:15:42+00:00

Most men have high sex drives. My sex drive is lower than most men’s so I can appreciate a woman aesthetically without wanting to have sex with her. Still, I’m heterosexual and I don’t appreciate men aesthetically the same way, so there still must something sexual to it even when I feel I’m only appreciating a woman’s beauty aesthetically and not imagining sexual acts with her.

techr0nin · 2021-12-01T14:56:45+00:00

Why does your mouth water when you see succulent food? It’s how your brain is wired.

Karmanger · 2021-12-01T15:02:05+00:00

This explains why some women think looking at porn is cheating.

landscapes can be beautiful without arousal.(unless you’re pan-sexual?)

If I see a woman I think is beautiful I’d be aroused and want to have sex with her.

Will i have sex with her? Depends on the context of the situation. I can be aroused and keep it as a fantasy, I also have common sense, I’m not going to hit on her at a funeral even if she walked in with only a bikini on (true story).

If I didn’t think she’s beautiful, she would at best be boring to me at worst ugly and I would have little motivation to interact with her.( aside from co-workers who I would be forced to interact with)

Does this mean I only interact with women who are visually pleasing? No I still help old ladies cross the street, I’m just not going to spend more than 5 minutes talking to her about her grandkids.

yelo777 · 2021-12-01T15:16:41+00:00

Because men are on a drug called testosterone. (Yes, women have it too, but much less)

cccccclairee · 2021-12-01T20:33:02+00:00

I think in my experience it’s because so many men are really visual, where I’d say it’s much less common for women to be.

I know for me, for example, reading erotica over watching porn is no comparison, even if the scene were identical. The erotica is way superior to me. Most men I’ve come across aren’t like that. So I’d imagine knowing this about your partner would trigger the insecurity if they are looking at photos

theatma43 · 2021-12-01T20:45:16+00:00

Biology? Lol

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-12-01T21:46:00+00:00

Testosterone.

ThankGod4Darwin69 · 2021-12-02T00:22:09+00:00

Men are stimulated visually Women are stimulated mentally/emotionally

Its why men like to watch pornhub and women like to read 50 shades of Grey

sex_is_dirty · 2021-12-02T10:03:02+00:00

For the ladies:

Did you ever smell delicious food and find your mouth watering? Did you consciously stimulate your salivary glands or did the physical reaction just happen? Did it just seem to come from nowhere?

It's like that.

Cherish_Lifee · 2021-12-02T21:58:34+00:00

The vibe i am getting here is women kind of hate healthy male sexuality and will never understand it.

MSA966 · 2021-12-01T20:58:07+00:00

Therefore, Muslims prefer to separate the sexes, thanks to Islam

anon_enuf · 2021-12-01T16:01:20+00:00

I associate beauty with social corruption. My first thought when I see an attractive women is "red flag, damaged goods", not "I wanna bone her".

daddysgotanew · 2021-12-01T20:45:43+00:00

Women are just as turned on by good looking men, let’s not fool ourselves here…

Title	Why do most men associate beauty with arousal?
Author	ecedecides
Upvotes	40
Comments	317
Date	December 1, 2021 12:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/r6d8kg/why_do_most_men_associate_beauty_with_arousal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-most-men-associate-beauty-with-arousal.1089343 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089343

Comments