How are men so obsessed with sex and yet still SO BAD at it??

AnniaT · 2022-01-23T01:21:37+00:00

Men whose "sexual education" comes from porn (aka majority of men with access to the internet) are usually terrible in bed.

sleutherino · 2022-01-23T02:03:11+00:00

I can only imagine your DM's right now. They really do like to tell on themselves.

They literally see no reason to improve, because so many of us spare their feelings, or even fake it just to get things over with. I've been guilty of this in the past, but never fucking again.

I'd encourage more women to tell the whole truth during sex, but I suspect a lot more women would be getting murdered the the hurt egos of many a fragile, porn addict man.

Frogspocket · 2022-01-23T00:47:06+00:00

They don't like sex. They like masterbation though. They masturbate with women's bodies and call it sex.

creamtart_ · 2022-01-23T00:20:25+00:00

Yes, they may literally be “having sex”. But in reality, most of them just want to masturbate into a woman.

They don’t actually want to have sex, because sex is about connection, intimacy, passion, and mutual pleasure. They just want to use a woman’s body as tool to gratify themselves.

Xlunas · 2022-01-23T10:38:32+00:00

Why?

Because they don't care about your experience. They are obsessed with THEIR experience.

A very important part of sex is visual stimulation but men decide to look like trash. Yet they want you to look like a pornstar.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-01-23T00:18:14+00:00

Because they love porn and masturbation and using a real woman for it is like a bonus for them.

Platipus6 · 2022-01-23T01:31:28+00:00

Because they expect enthusiasm from the woman (thrilled to pleasure him, or be his cum receptacle, prop up his fragile ego, smile away his incompetence and have all the sympathy for his floppy knob, and orgasm easily from the barest touches and fumblings, tell him he's great no matter what he does)

They loathe women enjoying themselves.

frogchickenhorse · 2022-01-23T03:18:20+00:00

The last fucknuckle had ED and had to have oral sex or viagra to keep it up. Also violently wanking himself. No foreplay. Hardly any kissing, or would stick tongue in my mouth and just leave it there. Would not touch my vagina, at all. Often would say he couldn’t find the hole and would blame it on my height. I would think that if you experienced ED , wouldn’t you learn to be an oral master to make the experience pleasurable for your partner, but for this guy it was all about him and his dick. I ended up feeling like a robot during sex. Good thing I had prepared for it by drinking lots of water and reading erotica beforehand, or it would have be painful. I didn’t prep for the last time I saw him, felt like I was being stabbed in the vagina. And he didn’t stop when I said it hurts. So the guys really don’t care about you at all, doubt they even see you as a person.

JulyParade · 2022-01-23T00:49:54+00:00

The real question is why would a woman stay with a man who is bad at sex? It's a sure sign he doesn't care about her. Sex is literally the most important thing to men so the only reason they would be bad at it is if they don't consider women to be human beings at all.

preppykat3 · 2022-01-23T00:08:59+00:00

Especially the ones who think they’re good at it

thanarealnobody · 2022-01-23T01:45:29+00:00

EXACTLY!

Usually when you obsess over something, it will at least give you a lot of knowledge and skill in that area.

If you are addicted to playing video games - you are probably good at playing and know about the latest releases and have varied opinions on consoles and gameplay.

If you’re obsessed with a celebrity, you know all their work and keep up to date with their news and run fan accounts and make edits.

If you’re obsessed with nail art, you’re gonna have all the tools and toppers and watch all the tutorials and know different techniques.

But somehow these men who watch porn daily, think about sex constantly, sexualise as many women as they can - are absolutely abysmal at sex. They are crap at foreplay, don’t understand female anatomy, can’t exhibit vulnerability or invite intimacy and cum in 3 minutes. It’s ridiculous.

Even women who are overly sexual or sex addicts, know what they’re doing and know their angles for sexy pictures and put effort into creating a sexual character for themselves.

With so many men, they somehow stay at beginner level their whole lives.

xpressurself111 · 2022-01-23T00:40:17+00:00

It’s for sure not about the woman they’re having sex with, over their sexual pleasure and “scoring.” I asked my ex why he cheated on me and he said, “I don’t know, I just wanted to see if I could.”

Novemberinthechair · 2022-01-23T00:58:23+00:00

Anything they think they know about sex is from a male perspective. Porn. If they have no empathy for women, they'll suck at it. Actual physical chemistry between two people can solve a lot of this, but unfortunately that's the exception, not the norm.

deadinsidelol69 · 2022-01-23T03:55:59+00:00

Self absorption and the inability to see women as fellow human beings is a direct road to not having sex with a woman, but rather masturbating inside her.

europoor24 · 2022-01-23T08:47:25+00:00

my abuser was hurting me, making me bleed due to ZERO attempt at making it ok for me and all this to him = i must still have bits of hymen and me bleeding was me getting aroused.

ChgItToRayGunYouFuck · 2022-01-23T02:53:15+00:00

Because porn.

Porn has fucked their expectations so they think girls will enjoy basically anything.

hotandreadynukes · 2022-01-23T01:02:51+00:00

I don't even bother with straight men anymore. Can any man or person be bad? Absolutely. But straight men are on a whole mother level. Literally so many double standards. Expects you to be a "throat goat" (with their gross pornified language 🤢) but you're a dirty slut if you've slept with other guys and enjoyed it and are more experienced. And they usually don't give a shit about reciprocating, they think our vaginas are gross and mock the appearance as if dicks are beautiful and majestic. Like DJ Khaled for example expects head from his wife because he's a "king" but doesn't reciprocate. It's a good way to vet on a surface level. If he can't make you cum and won't give you head or at least listen to you and try to get better yet expects you to be an expert, drop his ass into the trash. So fed up with the disgusting backwards thinking about women and our sexualities, and the Madonna whore complex. They're silent, uncomfortable and hate women who speak up about these kinds of things because they know they're worthless and don't want to change for the better.

ceramicunicorn · 2022-01-23T03:38:30+00:00

All of what was said above, but I want to add one more thing...is that women who desperately seek male validation and want to avoid conflict with men are not honest with the man about his performance. Then he goes on believing he’s a stud, and you’re fucking things up for the next woman. I get it- an honest poor review is often not well received, especially when trust has not yet been established...which is common, given there are so many men who want the sex part ASAP, but refuse to first be emotionally vulnerable and connected enough to trust a woman when she is not trying to disparage him, she is trying to help. Which is likely, considering that yes, men are often not very good at it, at least in the early days, even if they don’t watch porn, because women vary so much in their bodies and this is a whole new body.

But faking it and lying does no one any favors. That’s why I don’t have sex with men who are not emotionally vulnerable enough with me yet, to where if I give honest feedback he trusts me, and does not react with frustration and resentment (a cover for humiliation, when we do not fully trust someone) but with patience and understanding. This is a two way street- you’re going to be a lot more pissed and defensive if you’re doing something he actively dislikes and he tells you so, if this isn’t someone whose intentions you can trust.

If you get it wrong and he does react with anger with your gentle but honest feedback? You hold firm, you do not try to “fix” it, you do not fake it the next time, you don’t backpedal, you end the encounter and discontinue sex until (and if ever) there is enough trust developed such that open discussions on the topic can be had. If he gets threatening in response to the feedback...Girl Did You Even Vet? But, kick him out ASAP, block and delete.

Bleep_bloop5678 · 2022-01-23T04:43:36+00:00

They would be a lot better if they actually cared enough to figure out how to make their sexual partners orgasm. It’s that they only care about making themselves orgasm and then roll over and think job done.

IwantyoualltoBEDAVE · 2022-01-23T12:18:33+00:00

I’m still dirty about the fact there is finger lube for guitarists. They fucking will learn how to use their hands when they want to

throwawaynevermindit · 2022-01-23T17:02:16+00:00

They're obsessed with their pleasure, not yours. It's that simple. Your pleasure is only relevant insofar as it might enhance theirs and to do that it need not be authentic, a simulacrum or performance will do for most.

Pressuring a performance out of you (rather than making sex pleasurable for you) may be more fulfilling for many men because for many men the largest part of "sexual pleasure" is not about sex or orgasm but about domination. With those for whom sex is about conquering/domination/winning... playing for sexual pleasure is truly a zero sum game. The more genuine your pleasure the less they'll enjoy themselves.

ennu_i_sao · 2022-01-23T03:19:17+00:00

Sometimes I think men don’t even know how to pleasure themselves. Some men don’t do the bare minimum of finding out what they like or that there are different ways to experience pleasure. For example most men have sensitive nipples similar to women but some wouldn’t consider it during sex. Or, they don’t want to even think about exploring a particular erogenous zone because they’re afraid people might think they’re gay. Especially when someone’s whole view on sex is viewed only through porn, I think that can also ruin how they see sex.

cloudless-blanket · 2022-01-23T08:48:25+00:00

Actual recent conversation with a now-ex boyfriend:

Him: "So...what turns you on?"

Me: "Oh, like a slow escalation, lots of kissing, teasing--"

"No, no, I mean--what turns you on? Like gets you really wet?"

"...I'm telling you. Slow-escalation, kissing--"

"No!" exasperated sigh "Not like that, like...what gets you off, like what gets you really turned on?"

".... I'm telling you. I understand the question."

The correct answer, I'm sure, was something along the lines of "stick it in me without any preamble or foreplay and just a little bit of spit, a la 'consensual'-non-consent."

Because they're not interested in actually learning as much as they're interested in validation.

lansburysoda · 2022-01-23T00:32:40+00:00

Because porn and libfem culture have ruined how they see sex. A huge % of porn is just rape/sexual violence and now they think that’s how sex should be.

XMochiixMochiiX · 2022-01-23T10:53:14+00:00

I'm not going to lie here but some men think jack hammering it to oblivion is fine 🤣😭. If it's good for them and what porn tells them, it's good for you too 🤡✌️

LeyMio · 2022-01-23T07:22:15+00:00

To destroy men's mental world, all you need to do is telling the truth that what they see in porns are all fake. LMAO.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2022-01-23T03:33:23+00:00

They just want a high body count lol

I just read this creepy article about Gene Simmons (from Kiss) and how he kept Polaroids of the women he slept with. He prides himself on sleeping with 4800 women.

xfelugirlx · 2022-01-23T20:14:45+00:00

Because they think porn is real life, i remember an lvm saying he didn’t know a lot of pale people (women and men) had darker intimate areas LOL. Literally messed up

SupremeDearLeader · 2022-01-23T03:13:20+00:00

Was exotic dancer back in the day before internet so looks wise attract a lot of attention , I have never ever found a guy who is the total package, mostly it's woman who work really hard at being awesome :

Looks amazing [ works out/ eats right/ sophisticated/sexy outfits ]

Can talk amd act sexy without being predator, cringe , vulgar or sadistic

Totally takes care of self and caretakes others/pets

Can be kind and intelligent and pick up on emotional cues

LVMen just can't bring themselves to work that hard and be better partners/ humans, they do not care and are lazy with a big L. If they can afford it they use money as a shackle to trap economically insecure women , the younger the better 🤢

solstice100 · 2022-01-23T18:35:58+00:00

they are legends in their own minds

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-01-23T03:09:18+00:00

Men who are terrible at sex are guaranteed to be regular porn consumers.

If he has been consuming porn since adolescence then he is guaranteed to have frontal lobe damage to the brain which is irreparable.

Porn abusers should be bred out of the gene pool. They are violent, have erectile dysfunction, no impulse control, deformed penis from death grip (peyronies disease) and early male pattern baldness.

Don't engage with the equivalent of masturbating monkeys.

PerditaJulianTevin · 2022-01-23T23:08:49+00:00

Because men treat sex with women like masterbation . They are only in it for themselves

the-worst- · 2022-01-23T05:35:09+00:00

Porn. That's usually the culprit. They take porn as educational, when it's all just for show.

SearchLightsInc · 2022-01-23T11:20:25+00:00

OP, have you tried CoMmUnIcAtIng???

FineDeliciousSnakes · 2022-02-09T15:06:43+00:00

I have been very selective about my romantic partners.

When I was around 18/20 I did have a fling with a guy, that turned me off of flings ENTIRELY. This guy seemed smart, articulate, attractive, etc. He was around 25 at the time, and I knew his ex gf from some of my classes (she never talked about him)

We had kissed a few times and it was fine. But as soon as we were alone in his house, it was like he attacked me with his face. Open mouth fish face 🐟 om om om 👁 👄 👁 with his eyes open, immediately unbuckling his pants 👖 and I’m SO confused. He said because we were alone means I WANTED “IT” 🤦‍♀️ he shoved his hands over my pants, vigorously rubbing the crease of my inner thigh 🙄 asking how hot I was getting as he rubbed my clit? (Which again was BASICALLY THE ARMPIT OF MY LEG) 😶

I started to back off and get ready to leave, this was way too much… he floundered and actually removed his pants, so I removed myself SO FAST, goodbye! 🏃‍♀️🚪

He told everyone in our uni class that I slept with him. I told my close friends that I didn’t and how much of a creep he was. Never talked to him again

If he was just chill that day and didn’t push me, didn’t touch me like he did, and if he did when I wanted it he touched my actual clit and not the crease of my thigh (I mean seriously HOW does that get confused?????) then I would have at least continued to see him. Obviously the pushiness is an immediate disqualification but even if he didn’t disqualify himself I am 💯 sure the sex would have been shit

Title	How are men so obsessed with sex and yet still SO BAD at it??
Author	xoladybugxo
Upvotes	2124
Comments	114
Date	January 22, 2022 11:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/safnao/how_are_men_so_obsessed_with_sex_and_yet_still_so/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-are-men-so-obsessed-with-sex-and-yet-still-so.1098125 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098125

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