Q4ALL: How often do you see women who sleep with one guy fast and make others wait?

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2022-05-29T19:03:07+00:00

If you're a man, have you had women make you wait while sleeping fast with other men?

Once, but the crucial part was that i wasnt aware of it, i never been a guy who engages into casual sex nor i have an interest in it, i have always prefered relationships, this woman came and we started dating, but she always said she doesnt wants to get intimate too soon, that she wasnt like that and all that nonsense, that she liked how i was and admired my values, that i didnt push for sex like other guys well ngl, even though i was desperate i liked her and i wanted to make her feel special, fast forward my illusion died when one of my friends told me about how she slept with a known player during the period we were dating, when i confronted her she told me "we werent exclusive and all that, it was just sex, you re being controlling, he pressured me, i dont like him" when i asked her about why if she supposedly disliked said men then why would she get intimate with them she replied "i dont see a future with him and i dont care what he thinks about me" that shit just made me more confused, after a while of arguing, i asked her for a bit of space, i always wanted my SO to be a virgin just like a was or at least that she didnt engage into casual or fwb or that, why? because i was always told that only men who dont respect women use them for that, so if she gives herself for thatz she doesnt respects herself, but i tried to be a bit understanding, so i told her "i want to sleep with you too" to which she answered "no, i expected more from you, you re just jealous, you re just like the other guys" so i replied again "so why sleep with him then if sex is so bad?" She then started saying nonsense like " i want our relationship to stay pure, i dont care about him thats why i slept with him" shit just made even more sad, raging sad, specially because she shamed me for wanting intimacy like if it were something bad, but then she goes and treats it so casually with a guy she supposedly hates, after she realized i wasnt buying it, she started crying, obviously, she then began to tell everyone about how i wanted her for sex, of how much of an asshole i was, but she never mentioned nothing about what she did with that other guy. I started to get between angry and sad, that shit destroyed me and then i ended up down the redpill rabbit hole, and then a few years later on this sub, but luckily i maneged to break up from that toxic paradigm and i met woman that i cherish, and fulfils me emotionally because she fits all my wants, she was a virgin when we met.

But the first woman is the reason why i dont like it when the women of PPD debate try to paint a man who refuses to wait for a woman who isnt congruent with what she preaches as if he was a bad man because of it, im a guy who values relationships but that doesnt means my existence revolves about being the safety net of some dumb slut nor im obliged to take whatever trash a woman throws to my face because i value women for more than just sex, i have emotional desires too and i only will date a woman because i want to and i find her attractive, not because "im such a nice guy" or because it makes me less mysoginist or whatever, im a man not a dog that obeys whatever whim you have on command.

shonenhikada · 2022-05-29T22:06:31+00:00

watch as 90% of women in the comment say it does not happen.

wtknight · 2022-05-29T18:05:44+00:00

I’ve never known it to happen, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t.

funlightmandarin · 2022-05-29T20:20:54+00:00

If you're a woman, have you done this?

I don't LTR men I don't also want to rip the clothes off of.

As for my social circle, never seen this.

mistresswhat · 2022-05-29T19:00:42+00:00

I don't think I've ever seen it? Most of my friends (myself included) like casual sex and will hook up with everyone quickly, regardless of whether they want it to lead to more. The ones who don't do casual sex make everyone wait.

Hoopy223 · 2022-05-29T19:12:48+00:00

All the time. They’ll meet a guy at a party and hook up vs another guy they are “getting to know”. Most of the time it will be compartmentalized into one was “dating” and the other was “just sex”. I’m not saying its morally wrong or something just what I have seen.

Keep in mind I am a single guy meeting single women.

Ok_Medicine_7662 · 2022-05-29T21:00:05+00:00

I have never had that happen, but I would not be with her if that did happen. Thats a sign that she isn't really feeling you. Shes playing games.

crimson_juniper · 2022-05-29T21:00:48+00:00

I've fucked multiple girls on a first date.

Not sure if they made others wait or not.

SKY_ACTIV3 · 2022-05-29T21:02:39+00:00

I’ve been on both sides. But it’s also dependent on the situation. In some cases you’ll never know the full truth.

One time I lived far from a girl, and there were few opportunities where we could meet one on one. She claimed to not be talking to other guys while we were seeing each other, and as far as I could tell she was telling the truth. Still, I’d hear from mutuals that she would hook up with dudes immediately after she dropped me.

In other cases, I’ve been the guy who she’s been physically forward with, while taking it slow with other guys. She’ll talk about them, and all the attention/shit they’re willing to do for her. I’ve also had female friends tell me similar things with guys that they were involved with (fucking one dude, stringing along less attractive men).

NAWALT, I’ve found that most girls are “consistent” with their timelines. They either wait for everyone, or sleep with everyone right away. Most girls you’ll encounter while dating are like this.

But it does happen, and as a guy you really don’t want to be on the losing end of that deal. Hell, half the time you’ll get dropped before even getting a chance to commit. Just keep your head on a swivel as a dude; if something feels fishy, go with your gut.

MickIsBlue · 2022-05-29T23:29:43+00:00

All the time

NockerJoe · 2022-05-29T18:34:35+00:00

Honestly not really but thats mostly because I've never pried into their sex lives that much unless I was directly the one involved. If you told me they'd done it I'd believe you but I dob't go around gossiping like that.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-05-29T21:24:37+00:00

Of my personal life & friends, only 1 time. It was a buddy who was very obviously much less attractive than the girl and she made him wait / didn't reciprocate / made him jump through hoops and eventually dumped him.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-05-30T03:41:58+00:00

Think of any guy who is average at best with a good looking girl. She has almost certainly made him wait and the sex they have is nowhere near as good as the sex she had with more attractive guys.

Weiland_1989 · 2022-05-31T04:54:31+00:00

It happens more often than most men think and women would like to admit.

The reasson is, I think, because a cognitive disonance between women's sexual desire, sexual repression due to male standards, unfufilled romantic wishes and a need for human conection.

Us men are not that complicated, because we want sex and we are unapologetic about it. We don't lie about our pasts wether women like it or not, we just say "suck it up" and that's that.

Women wish they could do the same, hell, the sexual revolution is JUST ABOUT THAT, women being able to have sex with any man they want and men just hsving to "suck it up" too, the problem is that inter-gender dynamics don't work on a linear way because men and women are different, so men never going to just "suck it up" and women are now trapped in this vicious circle of

1) What I want ( satisfying sex with good looking men)

2) What I need (human conection/romanticism)

3) What I must (be a good girl)

4) What I have to do in order to get 1, 2 and 3 all in one man

If she puts out early she's labeled as a slut and men won't give her the romantic conection she craves, if she doesn't put out men will run away with other women who put out early, if she sleeps around men won't take her, if she doesn't then she craves the sex and thinks she's missing out...

It's a huge problem to women.

As far as I can tell, when a woman say "it's just sex", this is a defense mechanism talking. It's the woman trying to protect her ego from the inevitable truth that the man she was more intrested in and felt more attracted to, never saw her as anything more than a flyng.

Some women even go on first dates with some men while telling themselves "this is just going to be sex". They want that man, they would love to have something with him, they would love to keep them for themselves, but they know they can't keep them forever.

Instead, when they go on a date with a man who woo them and treat them right but they are not sexually attracted to, they want to keep that romantic energy flooding. They don't feel sexually attracted to the man, but they want emotional closure, romantic energy, human conection.

In a perfect world, they would have all this in one man, but often the men who offer sexuality don't need to offer romanticism in exchange for sex, hence they just don't.

VastlyVainVanity · 2022-05-29T19:48:21+00:00

I've experienced it first-hand.

She was the woman I lost my virginity to, pretty late in life (23-ish).

I knew of at least two guys that she had hooked up with, one of whom was a close friend of mine who was the typical fuckboi who fucks a new girl every week, and the other had a gf and this girl was basically an affair partner of his.

When we started talking, I thought that she only wanted something casual, which was great for me back then because I had given up on "saving my virginity to someone special", I just wanted to have sex already and be done with it.

But eventually she revealed that she wanted to "take things slow" with me. Which I immediately shot down because I wasn't going to play that game knowing how easily she had had sex with guys before me.

We eventually did have a casual relationship, I realized that that wasn't my cup of tea, broke things off with her, after that we dated for like a year and broke up because I couldn't be happy dating a woman who had had tons of casual sex before me, so I made her very unhappy. Kinda shitty, I know, but I thought I could take it but learned that I couldn't.

Anyway, during this relationship I learned that she herself understood that "having sex easily with guys who don't take her seriously and making it harder for guys she wants to date" didn't make much sense, but she still did it. It's a contradictory behavior that many modern women have, putting out easily to Tinder fuckbois but being prim and proper maidens with guys they see as BF material.

Malaysiaman222 · 2022-05-29T22:51:29+00:00

Incredibly common in Malaysia, particularly with conservative, religious girls. However it's done in secret instead of openly telling the guy oh, she's a Muslim / Christian / Hindu / Buddhist / etc but since you are the same let's wait while she hooks up with someone else and focuses on her career.

bludkraze · 2022-05-30T08:56:29+00:00

Its pretty common

lostwanderer28 · 2022-05-30T00:22:20+00:00

If she makes me wait, but sleeps with other men in the blink of an eye, it is obvious that I am not attractive in her eyes.

BulletReaper · 2022-05-29T22:11:34+00:00

Happened to me once with a girl I was super into in college. She made me take her out on all these dates and made up all these rules and after like 5 dates she ended up sleeping with (and dated) my buddy she just met at MY party cause he was hot and really tall lmao. I’m not even mad about it though, really showed her character and taught me to stay away from women like her.

mumblebumblegrumble · 2022-05-29T19:03:47+00:00

Based on friends and acquaintances I've talked about this with they've either always mad all men wait till a relationship, or they really liked a guy once and had sex quickly under the impression he felt the same only to get pumped and dumped and her feelings hurt so after that she makes men wait on the attempt to avoid that hurt again.

Steakman1 · 2022-05-29T22:46:09+00:00

I was actually on the beneficial side of this. She had multiple previous boyfriends whom she never had sex with, and there was even a guy she dated a whole year and never even kissed him. But with me we were doing stuff within a month

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-05-29T18:35:36+00:00

I've seen it play out a couple times, there was one particular instance in college where I felt bad for the dude lol

I've only had one woman that I know of explicitly try to run this game on me, I had seen video evidence of things she was willing to do and how quickly, I'll just leave it at that but we connected one night, and I thought hey we can have a little fun and do whatever oh, so we're back at my place and we're getting all hot and heavy and then she play the greatest hits of wanting to take it slow and "she thinks I'm a great guy and wants to see where it goes and doesn't want to rush into things" I've never worked that hard to hold back a laugh, so I texted my fuck-buddy at the time who lived in the same apartment complex to come on over hoping that they would run into each other on the other chicks way out, missed each other by like 5 minutes 🤣🤣🤣

That being said do I think it's a huge epidemic or anything? Probably not, but does it happen more than women especially on here are willing to admit? Absolutely

And this is not me saying that just because woman fucked one guy quickly or let him do things to her that she has to let every guy that she dates do that, my warning and advice is always for the men in this situation, look out for red flags pertaining to this and if she does do this she's not that into you and you're never going to get her best so if you're content with that, awesome, if not value yourself and dismiss her

LegitimateGlad · 2022-05-29T18:11:17+00:00

I mainly hear it from women's mouths that they have a past and make the next man wait, i have seen it personally a couple of times.

teamdeathmatch1787 · 2022-05-29T21:01:03+00:00

I’ve kind of done it? I don’t sleep with anyone immediately; I get to know them all first. How long that takes varies between people. With some people it’s an instant connection and I’ll sleep with them within a week or two. With others, there’s more awkwardness/takes longer to connect so it takes closer to a month. It’s a matter of getting to know each other, building that chemistry, and establishing good communication and the timeline for that varies between relationships

ohdiddly · 2022-05-30T01:10:27+00:00

Nah, 'waiting' for sex is not something I'm ever going to do lol, if the guy is hot and I'm into him I'm fucking on the first date.

hdksndiisn · 2022-05-30T01:57:55+00:00

I’ve had women make me wait til the third or fourth date fairly regularly. Kinda unspoken rule and progression from casual meetup like coffee to dinner or drinks then one of our places. When drinking is involved 95% chance rules are tossed aside, ie date 1 is drinks + Airbnb? No question what’s happening.

ViolentTakeByForce · 2022-05-30T03:48:38+00:00

Happened to me a bit back. Real answer for my situation is that I gave off LTR vibes and they(this happened twice) wanted to appear as a “good girl”. I wasn’t even looking for LTR but I treat anyone I’m with good, and both girls in every way basically made it appear like I was the man of their dreams early on.

NGL it was frustrating af.

At any point after breaking up, if I want I can hit it, but I just lost interest at some point and moved on. An annoying thing too is that women get intimidated by me and shy so there are cons to that which appear in different ways. Example would be not feeling as attractive or in shape as me so they avoid me seeing them naked. I don’t know if this played into the delay of smashing or not.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-05-31T15:36:57+00:00

If you're a man, have you had women make you wait while sleeping fast with other men?

Yes. Many times over the course of decades.

I get particularly amused when a woman says "she's not like that" than I proceed to learn that she was like that in her past, says no to me because "she's not like that anymore" in the present, rejects me, and I later learn she is like that with another guy soon after she rejected me.

It's difficult to take women's words seriously after observing this a lot in my life.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2022-05-29T18:08:04+00:00

In my circles, this seems entirely non-existent. The people who make anyone wait pretty much have no interest in anything casual, and the ones that don't make people wait as much are pretty consistent about what they like and what they want out of their relationships.

Also, the people who make people wait seem to have a much higher requirement to feel comfortable before becoming intimate than a lot of others.

As far as my own experience (which is honestly ancient history now), I've definitely had a couple very quick encounters before but for my current relationship (just under 8 years) I did wait about two months since when we began dating, she didn't have much experience and also is just generally not super driven by those urges. For me, taking it slow felt much more natural anyway.

In a general sense, PPD has a very poor understanding of sociosexuality and often seems to project behaviors of people who are high sociosexuality onto people who are not.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-05-29T18:29:00+00:00

No, I simply wait. Others may assume I have casual sex and "make" some people wait (they're free to leave). But I just don't do it early because I know I wouldn't like it, simple as.

hyperlinktoZelda_v2 · 2022-05-29T18:04:56+00:00

Never ran into a girl who did this, but if I had I see no issue. She's not obligated to sleep with every guy right away just because she has in the past. It's her sexuality. She can flex it how she wants. She doesn't owe me sex just like I don't owe her a relationship just because I've been in a long ass one before her.

bruzysuzy · 2022-05-29T18:13:56+00:00

I don’t like having sex with men unless commitment is involved first. The idea of hooking up quickly with men is gross imo.

That said, I’m sure its a huge blow to the male ego to find out a girl is making you wait while reverse cowgirling chad within the first date. Basically, she doesn’t find you hot/attractive/exciting enough to fuck right away. Ouch.

So I can see why men are upset but at the same time women have no obligation to being “consistent” with how long they make men wait. And chances are you will never actually know whether or not the woman youre seeing has put out quickly for other men before.

But on the other hand, women who put out quickly for chad often run into their own problems. In my experience, many women can’t handle casual sex and end up developing feelings with hopes of being in a relationship. The guy she regularly meets on thursdays at 2am for casual sex typically doesn’t share this same hope and she usually ends being hurt in the end.

anon018274031 · 2022-05-29T18:08:40+00:00

So are women just expected to feel ready to sleep with each man at the exact same time in the relationship?

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-05-29T18:23:19+00:00

I've done it. If a guy says he wants a relationship, he's going to be vetted differently than a guy who says he wants casual sex.

MrMushySauce · 2022-05-29T18:39:26+00:00

Yeah I know plenty of cases of this. But I only know because women like to rat other women out to men to make themselves look better lol. For the most part.

But the bigger thing I see than making one guy wait and not another is just fucking one guy and dating one guy (different guys). It's rationalized as "Well, neither committed to me, and I want to fuck Steve, and I don't want to fuck Chris, so that's what I'm doing" but like--they shouldn't date the guy they aren't fucking, if that's how they're going to do it. That's pretty much just a break-up waiting to happen if they did get together because I'm sure, eventually, he'd find out. Because maybe I'm just crazy but I personally wouldn't want to stay with someone who was 'cuddling me' and telling me she had feelings with another dude's cum in her.

KirthWGersen · 2022-05-29T18:50:26+00:00

Wonen often don't want to seem like sluts.

If you have met in OLD she may wait till the 2nd night if she really likes you. Otherwise, if she is horny, she may fuck you the first night, with no intention of seeing you again. Or she may not be able to resist and fuck you anyway.

If she is exerperienced and you have to wait more than two nights, she is not particularly attracted to you, or you are being used.

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-05-30T00:31:10+00:00

i never heard of this in my entire half century life until a couple of years ago on reddit

peteypete78 · 2022-05-30T07:28:14+00:00

Any women who has had a ONS is highly likely to have done this.

Few-Calligrapher8320 · 2022-05-29T22:25:48+00:00

Cant say i have excperienced it but i have done something similar to women. I was dating a girl who were slow to commit and was also not in to sex before she thought it was the right time.. I did hook up with other girls while waiting.

smallstarseeker · 2022-05-30T03:06:26+00:00

I was in the AF and BB position. Some women do think in those terms and will sort guys into just those two brackets. And BB doesn't have to just wait for sex, he basically get's the worse version of everything

How many of them? I think it really depends on the culture, in my country this seems to be dominant behavior, in Northern Europe it seems like a rarity.

I would advise guys to not waste their energy if they receive BB treatment, they will always come up with various excuses but, if you are not happy just walk away. It's that simple.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-05-30T05:16:20+00:00

It’s not something I have done. If I like you I will have sex with you as long as the situation is right.

The few friends I am close enough with to know details of their sex life either don’t wait or wait around the same time with everyone

But I am not someone who plays games and I’m also not friends with women who do either

basedmama21 · 2022-05-30T06:52:50+00:00

They don’t have discipline. And they think sex can be used as real leverage.

cryptothrow2 · 2022-05-30T07:05:09+00:00

I don't care as long as I'm not the guy waiting.

I believe the issue is contemporaneousness. Making one person wait while another is getting his rocks off after the second person acquainted after more like. I've been the guy not waiting. She's married to the other guy. One week difference though. Not the four months I saw here on Reddit that everyone was supposed to be okay with

EDIT

I remember one very clearly as a third party. Guy was a virgin. Babe was hooking up with his colleagues. Before and during the relationship

zerofeetpersecond · 2022-05-31T13:38:06+00:00

Women are an RPG character that has to choose one devastating perk to play by. Men have several less powerful perks.

TodTheRod01 · 2022-05-31T16:24:10+00:00

Personally id say easily 75% of the women i know

fizeekfriday · 2022-05-31T22:36:47+00:00

I've met 2 girls on tinder that wanted to fuck right away but I definitely know that shit happens. I can't sleep with a girl immediately unless I know I can trust her, and if you're cheating on someone I know I can't trust you so that's a turn off

Karmanger · 2022-06-02T14:48:14+00:00

It happens to the guys that are "Too nice" because usually these women end up fucking their friends.

no_usernameeeeeee · 2022-06-02T21:06:04+00:00

If i even feel the need to do that would mean i’m not truly into the guy so i probably wouldn’t entertain it. When i’m into someone i don’t really care cause i’m attracted to them. What i will say though is that i don’t make the first move often, i’m a bit shy… so some guys will wait before they try and others will try earlier but im not denying someone i’m genuinely interested and attracted to.

baresquad · 2022-05-29T18:57:20+00:00

I’ve never heard it happening in real life. How would that conversation even go? “I had sex in the past but you have to wait.” ?

I’ve had women tell me that it’s not happening tonight or not to expect sex but I don’t have any info to judge whether they sleep with other men fast or not

xxjas346xx · 2022-05-29T18:34:09+00:00

I’ve seen women that participate in the casual sex scene hold off on hooking up with someone they want something deeper with, but it’s never more than a couple weeks at most. Any more than that and it’s manipulation. Women have to filter out men that only want sex and men that want a relationship somehow

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-05-29T19:57:32+00:00

I think this is telling fir when someone watches to much porn. I’m not saying their people out there that do do casual sex and make a potential partner wait, however it’s not the norm and vast majority of people wait a few weeks before having sex in a relationship.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-05-29T20:50:03+00:00

Dude here: not sure how i would even know “hey, this date is going great and all but I wanna know, how long before you fucked your ex compared to when we are gonna?” that would be like cock blocking yourself.

Like this makes no sense.

toasterchild · 2022-05-29T20:50:27+00:00

I have friends who wait a little bit if they are looking for serious relationships even though they have on few occasions had one night stands. I think maybe that is what the people around here complain about?

I know the guys around here think that's because these women thought the one night stand guys were more attractive but my experience is that it's more about how horny the woman is and how long it's been, not about the guy himself.

Novadina · 2022-05-29T22:30:12+00:00

When my friends and I talked about how long it took before we had sex with boyfriends, we all agreed sex should happen when both people are ready and want - which can often be different for every couple, because there are two people involved. Most women I was friends with reported having within the first few dates or a couple weeks.

The idea of “making” someone do something in a relationship doesn’t sit right with me. Either both people want it or they don’t - why would anyone want to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to do it? So if one doesn’t want it, the other wouldn’t either, which means no one is “making” anyone do anything. I just go with the flow and we do it when we both want it.

So I have slept with some men on the first date and some on the third, but had nothing to do with “making him wait” - we just had sex when the time was right for us. Not to mention when I was a teenager the time it took me to be comfortable getting naked with someone was way longer (like months longer) than when I was an adult, and I suspect the same is true for the teenage boys I dated compared to the adult men. Sex is not something I give to men, where they always want it 100% of the time and I decide when to reward them at certain times, it’s just an activity I do with my romantic partners when we both feel like it.

xsurferdude123x · 2022-05-29T18:01:57+00:00

She does this for many reasons….one to keep orbiters, two in a weak attempt to boost her already low self worth, and three, because she doesn’t see a future with mr fast whereas maybe she does with mr has to wait.

Last_2_Work · 2022-05-29T21:17:58+00:00

I don't see women who do both at the same time. As in like, I've seen women who sleep really early on when they're younger, and mellow out when their older. They're still treating all men the same within the stage of life that they're in. Like in their early twenties, they didn't care as much about waiting, but as they got older they realized they should be more careful about those things.

briiiana1122 · 2022-05-29T23:12:21+00:00

The only context I’ve known this to happen in was where someone slept with men quickly because of drugs / alcohol and matured out of that phase and went back to only wanting to have sex in relationships. In that case, I think it’s a matter of regretting past decisions they see / saw as bad decisions.

I’ve never heard of women doing this as some kind of tactic like it’s described here.

That__EST · 2022-05-29T23:35:26+00:00

I have seen it before. But it's more like I've seen women attempt it, but not be successful. As in "let me slow down and not have sex with this guy right off the bat....oops couldn't control myself!" Keep in mind though, I'm not talking about people hooking up with random strangers or people off of Tinder. I'm talking about people hooking up with people in a larger friend group who they all are at least acquaintances.

What I have NOT heard about is a girl having sex with another guy while she holds out for a Mr Right who she is slowing it down for a relationship. Obviously I can't vouch that this NEVER happens, but I personally have not heard of it. In every instance that I've ever heard of a girl attempting to slow down sexually for a guy, she's not having sex with anyone else on the side while she abstains from sex.

Ooh ooh, in a third scenario that I haven't seen from college, I have seen the weird combo of a virgin religious guy date a reformed slut and it be HIS decision that they not have sex. And she's sitting here wanting sex with him. But not having it. And there being no evidence that she's having sex with anyone else either.

cumantha · 2022-05-30T01:32:01+00:00

it seems pretty rare ime for a girl to "make a guy wait" but then actually fuck them at some point. it seems much more common for girls to immediately jump into bed with guys they actually like and guys they don't like get sort of strung along and left on the backburner, never getting into bed with her but never outright getting rejected either, and ending up in romantic limbo.

y2kjanelle · 2022-05-30T04:39:37+00:00

I don’t make men wait..but each man I come across is just..different. I mean they’re all different people.

I don’t go out with or fuck men I don’t find attractive for fun.

So I’ll want to have sex with them. But each one is different. Some i may feel comfortable right away with, others not so much. Depends on what they say and how they act.

It also depends on what I’m looking for.

If I’m looking for a serious relationship, yeah, I’ll want to sleep with them, but I now have other priorities than if I wanted a casual encounter/relationship.

I won’t say “No sex until x date!” But I’ll prioritize spending quality time together and forming an emotional bond with them over wanting sex right away. Because that’s now what I’m looking for.

But if I’m looking for something serious, im not also going to be engaging in casual relationships if that makes sense.

LotusNet · 2022-05-30T00:58:33+00:00

I have both done this and been on the receiving end of this. I am a dude btw.

My first ever relationship came to me after me hooking up with around 9 other girls, all one night stands. However with this girl I didn’t feel like it was right to have sex till a couple weeks had passed. We did do foreplay but I told her I didn’t feel ready to have sex yet and preferred to wait. She was fine with that and eventually after only a couple weeks i was ready and we had sex.

Reverse. I had been talking to a girl for 2 months daily and we had confessed our feelings for eachother, we’d made out extensively but she said that she didn’t feel ready for sex. I was ok with that as I understand that it takes time for some people. Turns out after two week of her telling me this I found out that during that week she’d fucked one of my best friends, within 2 days of meeting him (I introduced him to her). That was nice lol.

With my current girlfriend I met her and we liked eachother and she’d been telling me that we shouldn’t hook up because she was on a healing journey (from pretty traumatic experiences). I found out that she’d hooked up with 2 different guys in the last month before we met.

It didn’t really matter in the end cause we ended up hooking up 2 weeks after her telling me this, but I’m just using it as another example that girls and guys sometimes when they really start to like someone they think of it as something special and maybe get more nervous about sex because they’re afraid of it going wrong or something because they’re a lot more emotionally invested compared to a one night stand, where you just want to get it out of the system or whatever.

That’s just my take on it

Party_Acanthaceae_89 · 2022-05-29T21:15:12+00:00

I've slept quickly with men due to alcohol, boredom, intense sexual attraction and knowing they are nothing more than f boys

Guys who I don't jump into bed with are usually relationship material and I like to get to to know them to give it a fair shot

Orange_Paisley · 2022-05-29T21:31:26+00:00

Never, tbh. At least not the way it is described here. I have slept with some men the first night and others not till years later but only because that is how the trajectory or the friendship/romance/partnerships worked out.

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MaliciousMack · 2022-05-29T18:39:15+00:00

She can do her

PurplePillEric · 2022-05-29T19:43:20+00:00

EDIT: let me actually answer your question: YES! I've seen it happen all the time. Perfect example is girl that I knew was DTF 10min into date one, then 6 months later is making every guy wait till the 3rd date at least.

What I originally wrote, and the explanation:

I think this is common, but the biggest factor isn't the guy's looks/game... It's the woman's mid to long term emotional state.

When a woman is fresh out of a long relationship, shes more likely to want to explore her freedom. This is when hookups are most likely to happen. At some point though she decides she needs a man and some security.. and at that point each man she gives her attention to is being looked at through a different lens. Sure, she hooked up with 5 dudes 6 months ago, but now she's wanting some stability in her life so she's gonna vet men and make them wait even if they're higher value than the dudes she was hooking up with 6 months ago.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule but I believe this is the biggest factor to your phenomenon.

Clavicymbalum · 2022-05-30T03:40:37+00:00

While I've seen that happen often enough… here's something better than writing out boring anecdotes: The funniest classic video on this subject.

Yummylicky23 · 2022-05-30T13:25:00+00:00

I personally don’t have any friends that do this bc most of my friends don’t have casual sex lol

grlq · 2022-05-31T00:50:50+00:00

I’ve had sex with 3 men. First boyfriend, I waited 5 years and we had sex 3 times. My second boyfriend, we waited about 3 weeks before having sex. Worst relationship and I still do not like him. Honestly, the worst mistake I’ve ever made in dating. Had I waited even 3/4 months, I don’t think I would’ve slept with him we would’ve just broken up. My last boyfriend and I waited 6 months. I think 6 months was healthy but it was also long distance. Maybe now, I’d wait 3/4 months. I think I would like to make sure we are compatible before sleeping with them. I’ve contemplated having casual sex but I don’t think I could emotionally handle that. I really like relationships and want a partner. So I guess I’ve slept with one guy fast, I do not recommend.

bootyhunter69420 · 2022-06-03T12:22:21+00:00

It happened to me.

MorganSeer · 2022-06-04T20:22:51+00:00

I’ve done this

VividlyDissociating · 2022-06-06T01:23:04+00:00

have you had women make you wait while sleeping fast with other men?

if theyre making you wait while sleeping fast with someone else, im assuming that means they want to sleep with one person at a time during a time period and they're not as interested in you as they are in the other guy they're sleeping with.

so you either stop being bitter about it and move on to someone else or stop being bitter about it and make yourself more her type if you want her so badly.

no one is obligated to sleep with you or want you as much as you want them.

If you're a woman, have you done this?

i need to feel a mental connection with someone, not just sexual, in order to sleep with them. not everyone is gonna grow that connection as fast as others and many ppl don't meet that connection at all.

also people change. what someone wants from sex and what they need before having sex is not going to be stagnant their whole life. it also obviously won't be the same as others'.

there were times in my life where just being an attractive, confident guy who wasn't a douche was good enough for me. but those were times where i wasn't interested in dating, only one night stands and fwb.

but i eventually got sick of all of that. i don't like one night stands and fwb always ended up wanting to date. and they're great as friends and some were great lays, but they were not great bfs.

i only ever date ppl in friends with first and eventually i started waiting longer and longer before having sex, because i would find that they would get so hooked on the sex they ended up not being honest with themselves about what they really wanted in a gf and in a relationship. a lot of them simply weren't mature enough for a relationship and wanted relationships that revolved around sex

my most recent experience with making guys wait:

i was on this apps that was for making friends, dating, or finding hookups, i made it clear i wanted. i was just looking for friends that could maybe turn into something more and i wasn't interested in sex. i made it clear that sex wouldn't be happening for awhile.

many guys thanked me for being upfront and honest. I'm not trying to waste anyone's time. but many other guys got shitty with me and told me i was being a child and to "grow up".. because im refusing to have sex before i really know someone.

one guy actually harrassed me on the app.. nonstop.. all day.. just belittling me for reason other than i didnt want to have sex fast and i canceled our plans to meet up because he didn't believe me.

i had let it be known within the first few msgs, and kept reminding him when he would start talking about sex, but he would claim he knows and understands and was just talking.. but then days before our plans, he was being very foward and when i reminded him again, he said everyone says they don't want sex but then "whatever happens, happens".

i said "you're right, a lot of ppl do say that and aren't true to their words. and whatever happens, happens a lot also.. but I'm telling you it's not gonna happen. I'm very serious about this." and he started going off calling me a baby and saying i was wasting his time. so i was like k cool bye. and then he wasted his own time by harassing me all day. only reason i didn't block him was because i wanted to see how long he was gonna go on for and how much shit he was gonna make up.

i left the app for awhile after that. almost didn't even come back. but when i did i decided to go back through all my chats and see if there was anyone i wanted to continue talking to or of i just wanted to start from scratch.

i ended up talking to a guy who was one of the first few i had talked to when i joined the app. he was the most chill and respectfull. we met up and hung out a lot we still talked to other ppl on the app but seemed like most ppl on there were adults who lacked emotional maturity.

we were strictly platonic but he eventually spent almost every night at my place after work to literally watch metflix and just chill. and he eventually let me know he was interested in dating me but would be fine as just friends if i didn't want to. i wasnt ready to date anyone yet so we continued as friends for awhile longer.

then one night we were out in the middle of the woods at my favorite spot, smoking weed and just enjoying the silence of the night in almost pitch blackness. suddenly we heard something large walking through the path and then into the water right in front of us. and it just stopped qe couldn't see shit even with the flashlights on our phones.

hauled ass out of there. poor guy was scared shitless because i was the only one who knew the way back, it's almost pitch black, and we can't see the path because it's covered in leaves like everything else. i got us out though, quicker than we got in. he grabbed my hand as we were power walking outside of the woods and back to the car and i allowed it because it felt like a near death experience. looking back we're pretty sure it was just a deer.

anyways i guess with all the adrenaline we ended up not having sex but cuddling. however, that opened the door to us being intimate. once we finally had a sex, i realized how comfortable he made me feel so i asked him if he was still interested in dating. now we've been together for over a year and have a car together.

and he loves my 6 kids aka my 6 cats lol. one of which is now definitely his.

iedekayz · 2022-06-13T12:17:59+00:00

uncountable times. witnessed the shit from many different positions

Fresh-Statement3618 · 2022-05-30T00:37:29+00:00

What a stupid thing to complain about! Women will sleep with someone when they want to! It's that simple. These manosphere guys are truly brain-warped.

ruboyuri · 2022-05-30T16:55:31+00:00

I only see game players do this

In other words — transactional relationships

Not that there is anything inherently wrong with it

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