How important is fitness in finding your ideal partner?

Traditional-Bad-4055 · 2023-07-20T20:05:42+00:00

I go to the gym a few times a week but I’m not overly into it. I prefer a partner that matches me in that regard

uselessloner123 · 2023-07-20T21:14:34+00:00

Generally girls who are at the level of counting macros gravitate towards guys at the gym or guys she meets at bodybuilding competitions or fitness expos.

There’s a real lifestyle issue that comes up when you start to diet especially considering the fact a majority of the population eats poorly. If a guy just eats greasy pizza and downs a 2L of soda every night it will end up being incompatible with your chicken breast and salad. I mean I watch what I eat daily but don’t count macros and many times I have had to refuse food offered to me by friends and family. I try to avoid unhealthy food but am far from perfect when it’s offered to me. So there’s that as well. It’s much easier to actually diet and workout if your BF does it as well. It’s way harder if he plays video games all day and had unhealthy food in the fridge. You will really feel like letting yourself go

BioNipple · 2023-07-20T20:21:34+00:00

I can safely say most men just want a girl with a normal BMI.

Gymshark tights make every girl look like a bodybuilder anyway

Bouldershoulders12 · 2023-07-20T20:04:53+00:00

Pretty important. I lift 5x a week along with my Career so I don’t believe in excuses to not be at a maintainable healthy body fat.

I’m not asking for bikini competitor but eating healthy, being at a healthy body fat percentage via the gym or some form of activity matters 100%. My girlfriend knows my stance on being healthy so she makes the effort as I’ve introduced her to some resistance training with weights along with choreography she does as her main hobby

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-07-20T20:27:12+00:00

Idgaf as long as you're body fat sits in the right places.

Rhinosaur666 · 2023-07-20T20:08:25+00:00

Do you really need someone to spell out to you that women who exercise and watch their diet are more attractive to men?

Antisocialite99 · 2023-07-20T20:06:18+00:00

I don't give a fuck about counting macros but she better be passionate about the outdoors and adventure sports cus that's what I spend my time doing and she better be dedicated enough to those things she's also willing to hit the gym to train for them.

Epiphanic_Eros · 2023-07-20T20:15:02+00:00

Couldn’t care less, though I actively dislike gym bodies. I appreciate good proportions, and rarely mind a firm body, and that may require the gym for some women

Tricky_Relief_7152 · 2023-07-20T20:42:30+00:00

Just don't be fat.

-AvatarAang- · 2023-07-20T22:14:04+00:00

I would absolutely love a gym gal, but sadly they'd be way too out of my league.

At the gym I go to, nearly every couple I have seen has consisted of an impressively fit man with a fairly chubby or generally unfit woman - which I interpret to indicate that in today's dating market the average man with a fairly muscular physique has roughly the same market value as a much less physically active woman than himself. The guy with one of the best physiques at my gym is with a much less fit girlfriend, and it still puzzles me to this day. Of course, one could say that "looks aren't everything" and that he might feel a special emotional connection to her - and I wish that such a wholesome narrative could be true - but this website and my experience of the real-world has made me believe that is highly naive thinking and that most other people do care about "leagues" when it comes to whom they date; so I imagine that this guy with an amazing physique either wasn't able to land a more fit girlfriend due to those women having the most options of anyone, or he is simply not confident enough to pursue them and thus settled for a girlfriend who isn't his looksmatch in terms of physique.

The only case where I've seen a gym guy with a really fit girlfriend was when he was the modern-day male trifecta: tall, white, and good-looking. Those are the guys most of today's women want. So if that's who the really fit women are going after, then I naturally don't stand any chance.

So I'm fine with a woman who doesn't exercise as much as me, but hopefully she does it a few times a week at least for the sake of her own health.

abaxeron · 2023-07-20T20:31:17+00:00

Does it not matter as long as she isn’t fat?

Basically this; also I love round faces which requires some fat on them.

Zabadoodude · 2023-07-20T20:36:01+00:00

Being fit makes most women more attractive to me, but it depends a lot on the woman.

Some women are lucky and their body naturally stores fat mostly in their ass and thighs, so they can be a little overweight, not work out, and still be hot.

For others it all goes to the stomach, so they have to work to keep that sexy figure.

sleepy-sloth · 2023-07-20T20:54:55+00:00

I find that gym or fitness routines aren't important. I do find importance in my partner doing what they can in order to feel at home in their own body. They can be thick, thin, non-muscular or really muscular. If they are happy with their own body then I'm happy with them. If all they do is complain that they're too fat, too thin, not muscular enough, etc. then I'm out. Not dealing with someone who won't work towards their own happiness.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2023-07-20T21:27:38+00:00

It's important to me.

Fitness is important to me and I do all the things you listed to maintain a high level of fitness. Someone who doesn't prioritize working out and eating right may have an incompatible lifestyle with me for an LTR.

Does it not matter as long as she isn’t fat?

Someone who is naturally on the thin side I would still be physically attracted to, but it would be a bit of a turn off if she didn't do anything to take care of herself. I also prefer a fit look over skinny.

Is it a turn off for you knowing they go to the gym?

It's a turn on if she goes to the gym. Plus a shared interest.

4SSh01e · 2023-07-20T21:17:46+00:00

My gym has some very fit and extremely attractive lasses and this has turned me off from average bodies that look like they don’t work out.

Like these girls are fucking RIPPED and not like American roid head ripped, but like ELITE natural fitness model level fit.

quantumpencil · 2023-07-20T21:00:23+00:00

most men do not care just don't be fat, provided you're willing to date guys who aren't big gym guys. Those guys are typically gonna want very fit women who fit into their lifestyle.

Highonuppers · 2023-07-20T22:04:41+00:00

I barely go to the gym, so I prefer someone who’s similar. That does not mean I want someone who’s fat, cuz I’m not even fat myself

ThatPizzaKid · 2023-07-20T22:14:07+00:00

As someone who has worked out nearly everyday for past 6 years, I understand that that is anomaly. Just dont be obese, its really that simple. You can be overweight, and depending on how weight sits on you can still be attractive, as long as you dont actively stop me from trying to be healthy we 're good.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-07-20T22:40:52+00:00

As long as she's generally fit (Does some kind of exercise 2x a week, isn't a couch potato, doesn't eat like crap or drink a lot) im good

Bandit174 · 2023-07-20T22:41:25+00:00

I don't care as long as she isn’t fat. Its not necessarily a turn off if she goes to the gym but I would assume my odds are worse if she does. I think most gym bunny type girls are aiming for tall jacked dudes.

Environmental-Oil239 · 2023-07-20T23:28:30+00:00

I don't care. She shouldn't be unhealthy, but that sounds like a lot

Least_Ride1826 · 2023-07-21T01:02:24+00:00

Just don’t be fat plz 🙂

ReferenceImpossible2 · 2023-07-22T03:51:21+00:00

Unless she has god-tier genetics, low body fat = disappointingly small titties.

There’s a sweet spot right in the middle between landwhale and what you’re talking about

Jazzlike-Actuary-99 · 2023-07-20T21:07:36+00:00

Personally never understood the appeal of toned muscles on a woman or having fitness as a hobby. Besides some basic exercise for health reasons (which you easily get outside of a gym) I don't see the appeal.

oldcamembert · 2023-07-21T03:50:26+00:00

In my experience, the diversity of fit female bodies is much higher than male ones. I know probably a dozen female personal trainers (so, ultra-fit women who are actually able to make money of being fit) and I can totally see a man being very into one of them and very not into another. Ranging from powerlifter types with or without a solid layer of fat, to muscly gymnasts, to runners, to dainty yoga and ballerina types. I have visible muscles (eg triceps well defined when not flexed, abs with... well, more a 4-pack rather than 6-pack etc), and I had many men being very not into it, but also quite many who were very into it. It certainly is divisive. Even outside the relationship or dating context, I had random stranger guys shouting at me that they don't find it attractive - I guess the same types who feel a need to publicly insult overweight women.

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mxp68 · 2023-07-20T22:47:34+00:00

I actually don’t like gym girls. And I hate the “cross-fit” look. I like a little bit of fat, not much, just a little.

wtknight · 2023-07-20T20:13:12+00:00

It’s not that important, although I prefer women who are not overweight.

JournalistNo9240 · 2023-07-20T20:00:36+00:00

Very. I train 4 days a week in kickboxing so I'd expect her to keep up with me. Doesn't have to be fighting, but do something active and watch your diet to the same extent I do.

Also, not letting yourself go after you get me to agree to a relationship is a sign of respect. I've had it happen once where I started dating a woman and 3 months in she was 20 lbs heavier. I felt very disrespected.

Workaholiconew · 2023-07-20T20:00:51+00:00

Not very, but it helps a lot.

Gyms are not necessary to be attractive up to a point. But they are an easy way to achieve it.

However you will most likely never be top in attractiveness being completely sedentary or doing only light workouts...

Sports, gyms and any other intense training is required if you wanna get close to a 10/10.

LowCreddit · 2023-07-20T20:18:20+00:00

It depends on the man. For my wife and I, we don't meticulously eat the perfect ratio of chicken, broccoli, and sweet potato. We do however, cook all the meals we can. We rarely have snacks in the house at all. We both exercise everyday.

neugalant · 2023-07-23T21:09:40+00:00

i care about health as i want the future mother of my children to be healthy and produce healthy children. i associate the gym with body building/shaping and thats strictly aesthetics. personally, i love toned thighs, but thats not something i would select the mother of my children for. its good for sexual attraction, but general fitness/slimness is fine for me. "counting macros" and regular workouts arent a turn off, so long its about fitness/aesthetics. lifting weights is a turn off and a red flag: not only does resistance training increase testosterone, but i find big muscles on women unattractive. it also kinda makes her compete with me, since its a mans job to be the protector and relationships shouldnt involve competition like that. men and women should compliment each other, not compete on the same playing field.

FaruinPeru · 2023-07-20T21:32:07+00:00

very important.. they have to go to the gym often. not 6 pack level but at least someone who visibly looks like they’d hit the gym

PrinceJamRoll · 2023-07-20T22:26:10+00:00

I want a big fat lady and I will eat spaghetti off of her belly (without utensils)

The bigger the better ideally it'd be impossible for her to walk

Particular_Trade6308 · 2023-07-21T04:38:54+00:00

I find fit/muscular women to be much more attractive than untrained women, it’s a personal preference, so I actually go for gym girls more. However I don’t approach in the gym, never felt like I got an invitation to, so I just try to talk to the fit girl at the party etc.

I work out and track macros, I’m not perfect at it and by no means am I bodybuilder jacked, so if she has swole-hypergamy (I am positive this is a real thing, fit girls almost never date a guy who is fit but less fit), I might get passed over. I sometimes worry that I might need to roid to have a chance with fit chicks, at my peak I had a 1200# total at 215# but I have the worst natty insertions so I looked DYEL in clothes, I’m just not gonna look more jacked than instamodels or juiceheads.

SteveSan82 · 2023-07-21T05:31:24+00:00

If she ain’t fit, she’s a pump n dump

ApprehensiveDot3115 · 2023-07-20T20:29:30+00:00

It's something to consider. I like chubby pear-shaped women, they're my favorite.

But are those same eating habits, the ones that made her attractive to me, going to make her size up unflatteringly as we age?

Maybe it's better to aim for someone who's at least a little health conscious.

madjester999 · 2023-07-20T21:06:32+00:00

Not really important

But the more work im putting into my self the more I start to ask my self if a fat woman is worth my time

Besides im not even sure if a relationship is something worth my time i'm still not over the last failure and that was 2 years ago (Actually today but I had to try so that doesn't count)

harmonica2 · 2023-07-20T21:20:58+00:00

I'd say somewhat important. I don't need a physically fit supermodel, but I don't want someone who lets themselves go with no self respect either.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-07-20T21:23:19+00:00

I don't need a #GymGirl but it's a plus if she shows that she takes care of herself. Some regular exercise and eating healthy with few unhealthy things here and there is fine. I don't want a blob that comes home from work and eats for the rest of the day while watching Netflix/Hulu/etc.

Edit: Most guys would prefer somewhere around here, not here.

Capybara_88 · 2023-07-20T21:35:05+00:00

I count my macros, lift, kickbox and am generally active in some way most days of the week. I don't need someone who does all that. But I would like her to be in shape, somewhat active even if it is just walking regularly or something simple and doesn't always shovel garbage food in their mouth. I mostly just look for someone that can explore outdoor areas with me and values their health and body.

slazengerx · 2023-07-20T21:35:14+00:00

It's quite important to me. If she's just naturally fit, then fine. But that's pretty rare. I can't remember the last woman I dated that didn't work out often.

aslfingerspell · 2023-07-20T21:46:54+00:00

Fitness as you define it is a plus, but definitely not a necessity. A woman with abs would be attractive to me, but they don't need to count macros or go to the gym constantly.

Does it not matter as long as she isn’t fat?

"Fat" is a very loaded word when it comes to women's appearances and lifestyle, but I would have to say men's attraction or tolerance towards those kind of people in dating depends on how it's distributed (i.e. "thicc" thighs and buttocks are more of a thing for men, while I've never heard of anyone specifically into arm fat) and how physically capable someone is apart from their weight.

Someone who is active and enthusiastic about life is, for people of all weights, probably more attractive to most men than someone who is inactive.

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-07-20T21:54:38+00:00

Important, I don’t know about counting macros but she should want to maintain herself.

More importantly, I’ve been in relationships where she, while pretty, wasn’t a workout person and saw my gym time as simply my “me time” taking away attention from her. Working out 3-5 times per week isn’t really me time but a combo of stress relief and grooming.

Being with someone who sees gym time as being even close to selfish will not last long-term.

Lovers691 · 2023-07-20T21:56:35+00:00

Do men care if a woman is like this? Does it not matter as long as she isn’t fat? Is it a turn off for you knowing they go to the gym?

I'm really attracted to a fit woman with a nice butt so it would be a plus but don't be overweight or if you are fat store it well is pretty much the standard for me. The only problem is that I would prefer we don't go to the gym together or if we do, we should just do our own stuff.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-07-20T22:18:39+00:00

I'd say not very important

SecondEldenLord · 2023-07-20T22:33:53+00:00

As a fitness fanatic myself it would be my dream for my gf to also be into fitness. We could be gym buddies, work out together and motivate each other to be the best version of ourselves. It would be ideal for me, but not a turn off if she isn't into fitness. For me as long as the girl is not obese, a bit of chub doesn't hurt.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-07-20T23:35:51+00:00

It is a must moving forward. I've spent too long with women who don't exercise and they just crash into the wall at 100 mph. I don't care about counting macros or dieting, just at least exercise and lift.

odd_cloud · 2023-07-21T00:53:26+00:00

Well, ok. Men’s main desire in a relationship is to be desired. A normal woman who likes a guy is much more preferable than a super fit model who is kinda meh about the guy. Same goes with other characteristics like facial attractiveness, income, education and so on.

DragonflyAromatic793 · 2023-07-21T09:11:18+00:00

not at all if you both dont care about fitness.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-07-21T10:23:11+00:00

You've put this a bit extremely. But if I were in say my 30s and looking for a long term partner, I'd probably care a lot because this is pretty much the only way to keep sex going strongly from 40-60.

But even then, it is contextual. If she is some petite Asian thing whose DNA somehow seems to magically prevent obesity, and who seems to get all the exercise she needs from say gardening, then all good.

Rach1943 · 2023-07-21T11:38:38+00:00

I have an interesting take - it's a big big "nice to have", as I'm also heavily in to fitness (physique competitor) and lifting. thus, we would have something in common to share - in terms of topics / diets / and going to the gym together.

however, I've legit never dated a women who is heavily into a fitness longer than a few dates - and I'm genuinely not sure why.

Also, I'm a very rare instance where I don't think I've ever been with a a women who is in better shape than me- not saying that to brag at all, just saying that to point out that usually its more the opposite (women are usually in better shape when dating)

DumbWordsmith · 2023-07-21T13:10:37+00:00

Very.

IDGAF about her lifting weights or going to the gym. In my opinion, that needs to be done in moderation too.

However, at this point, I'm not wasting my time with someone who can't feed themselves properly. You don't need to count macros to stay fit. You need to consume satiating food that humans are meant to eat.

For example, you won't be dying of hunger after having a nice steak with Greek salad and a glass of water.

You can't have true freedom and happiness without good health. If someone doesn't treat their body like a temple, I don't want to hear their whining when their body breaks down.

Also, I don't want my kids adopting their mother's shitty habits either.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-07-21T13:10:40+00:00

Hourglass shape and fit with decent size in butt and thighs is ideal in my opinion. But ultimately, if the face is good, I'll still take a skinny woman with zero tits and ass as well. Certainly not a fat one though.

Faost42 · 2023-07-21T13:49:09+00:00

ThisBoringLife · 2023-07-21T15:12:05+00:00

It matters.

Less so on aesthetics than it is on actual health.

thesaus223 · 2023-07-21T15:49:50+00:00

A little, as long as you take care of yourself. And live a healthy life style, I guess not.

OnePotatoeChip · 2023-07-21T16:17:22+00:00

Not very. Sure, everything within reason, but I'm fine with a muffin top and lack of a thigh gap. Never much saw the appeal of the super thin model-types. But more power to those that do.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2023-07-21T16:19:55+00:00

I don't care what a woman looks like or if she goes to the gym or not. I actually prefer bigger women. I've seen a lot of big women at the gym, too. I just want someone who respects me and respects themselves.

bitcoinisbubble · 2023-07-21T23:01:42+00:00

Not important, just don't be fat

AidsVictim · 2023-07-22T02:31:43+00:00

I go to the gym 6 days a week when I'm healthy enough for it (joint issues) and care very little about fitness in my partner passed not having health issues deriving from it and not getting too close to obese territory. Gym bunny and thick girl with proportionate T&A are about equally physically attractive to me.

just_a_place · 2023-07-22T06:58:49+00:00

" Do men care if a woman is like this? "

No.

When we say "just look good" we really mean it. Just look good!

We couldn't care less about how you go about achieving good looks, as long as you have them. Gym or no gym, it does not matter. Like, at all!

Title	How important is fitness in finding your ideal partner?
Author	Thatshygurl
Upvotes	20
Comments	146
Date	July 20, 2023 7:56 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1551dly/how_important_is_fitness_in_finding_your_ideal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-important-is-fitness-in-finding-your-ideal.1225933 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225933

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