Start raising "normie" sons

wtknight · 2024-07-24T20:38:06+00:00

My parents tried all of those things and I still ended up pretty abnormal, although I did eventually find a few abnormal women throughout my years, so maybe what they did helped a little.

However, I definitely didn’t end up a normie just because I was socialized to try to do normal things. I think that it’s either just wired in some people to be abnormal, or the teaching skills of parents are limited. After all, if every teacher were great, then society would be filled with geniuses.

bluestjuice · 2024-07-24T21:16:49+00:00

Mmmn, I appreciate the intent here but I’m not sure I agree that weirdo kids actually benefit from being forced to participate in normie cultural touchstones that they actively dislike. Maybe the more compliant ones, but there are also many many incredibly resistant weirdos.

I think instead of encouraging ‘normalcy’ I would encourage kids with weirdo tendencies to engage with and participate in subcultures that draw them. I think that fringe folks who have a community of likeminded weirdos that they socialize with generally do okay. I would focus on isolation vs. community specifically, not so much on the particulars of the activity.

KingofRheinwg · 2024-07-24T23:21:11+00:00

Growing up my parents had me do a lot of different things. I won a national art competition, played a musical instrument badly, socialized in school and through sports and church. I went to a name brand college where i was in a "fraternity", got a good career, still play beer league sports as well as doing other social activities like going to the dog park. My job is people oriented so I spend a lot of my days meeting with people and telling them I'm not going to give them what they want in ways where they leave the conversation feeling happy about it. I have male and female friends. The female friends have tried to wingman for me. Last Saturday I went to a singles event at a bar with a female friend who spent several hours observing me interacting with women who paid $19 to try and get a boyfriend. After the fact she wondered how many phone numbers I had gotten and was surprised when I said 0.

I'm sure there's genuinely some basement dwelling people with no social skills, etc, on here, but when I see other men here complaining about a lack of romantic success, I'm imagining me. I and other people around me feel like I have checked all the boxes, yet there's no attraction, and no explanation for why that is. The problem that many men take issue with is advice like this where people say "have you tried washing your ass?" It makes me wonder what people imagine I must act and smell like.

Yes, children should socialize, I completely agree, but I don't believe that's a primary factor in this systemic issue. If 30% of men are trying to get into relationships and can't, then either it's a normie issue, or we need to rethink what the definition of normal is. Say we get these cave trolls to wash their asses and hit the gym and now they're more like me? They're still gonna be maidenless from my experience. I'm old enough where I didn't have the option of spending all day on discord, and maybe it is a problem with the youths of the day - my youngest friend is 24 - but there's also large swathes of people who weren't raised on iPads that still face issues. When women talk about struggling in dating, no one says "you should smile more sweetie".

But I would completely agree that parents should actively raise their children to ensure they're well rounded and successful in the future regardless of whether it will get them laid.

GH0STRIDER579 · 2024-07-24T23:00:59+00:00

My parents legitimately thought people who lack social skills simply don't exist and people who live certain ways consciously wanted to be the way they are. They didn't do anything when I began self-segregating as a kid even in kindergarten, and I essentially just kept it up until adulthood. To be honest, socializing never felt natural to me, so I simply spent my time doing other things by myself to have fun. Middle school for me was essentially going home to play skyrim all day after doing homework, and high school was that on repeat until the day I graduated. Took a year off after I graduated to figure my life out, which I essentially just spent being a complete shut in who didn't do anything. After that, I simply decided to work for 5 years until I finally began college.

Now I'm 27, a senior in university, with a very narrow and limited social circle with friends I can count on one hand who I meet either online, or in obscure hobbies, and no relationship experience to speak of. I went on casual dates on study abroad simply because in Europe you're in way closer physical proximity to other people and it kind of happened, but that was about it. My mother legit thought me not having a girlfriend was a conscious decision I made because I simply didn't want one. Never did she realize it was because I don't actually know how to socialize with women, and consciously make a decision to self-isolate from them. Not her fault though...I tell her I don't want a girlfriend because it's much easier than telling the truth lol.

Overall, am I miserable though? No, because I genuinely have fun doing my hobbies, I feel like I'm in the best physical shape of my life, even with limited friends, I feel like I can talk to them about anything (but no we don't open up to each other about our emotions), and I still have that feeling of being able to do anything I really set my mind to. Never blamed women for being single, because I rejected myself before they could even choose or reject me. Do I blame my parents? Well...how do you fix a problem you don't even know how to correct because of ignorance and naivity? But would I have done anything different? To be honest...no lol. Not because I particularly like not having a romantic partner, but I literally don't know how to do anything else. I've grown comfortable and content in my self-imposed isolation and solitude, learned how to "find happiness while single," but in a way it makes it difficult to actually incentivize learning how to socialize and talk to women, or to make myself attractive to partners I'd like to attract, no matter how much I feel like I'd rather be in a good relationship Why? Because doing nothing is easier and more comfortable than changing, especially when you're already content.

Parents CANNOT "latchkey" "laissez faire" raise an intrinsically introverted diffident perhaps socially awkward kid and then be "utterly shocked" that he chose to spend the first 20 years of his life indulging his more antisocial proclivities by existing solely on Discord or exclusively in online spaces as opposed to in the real world building IRL in-person confidence, rapport, competency, and social connections.

Even better. They essentially did exactly that, and when I did have a few social connections I began forming by playing outside as a kid...they kept me inside to do homework or additional study instead, because they thought getting an 89 on a report card was "concerning"...lmao.

Dissentient · 2024-07-25T00:30:15+00:00

If my parents attempted to normiefy me, I'd grow up a misanthrope.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-07-24T20:35:26+00:00

tl:dr—don’t let your son grow up to be an antisocial dork.

Tywinlol2 · 2024-07-24T21:09:33+00:00

On one hand I want to applaud your intentions, on the other however your solution is incredibly naive and doomed to fail. First of all social skills are of limited use in society that atomized and isolated. And opportunities to develop them are very limited. Second, how we chose to spend our time is largely determined by our opportunities for engagement with others and benefits/costs. As we become more online and isolated costs will increase, benefits decrease and opportunities dwindle. It's a social and economic problem.

MidoriEgg · 2024-07-24T20:57:57+00:00

While you’ve made some good points, people forget that it isn’t just ‘oddball terminally-online’ men who deal with loneliness. Men who would count as ‘normie’s (normal interests, like sports, normal friends) etc can also face loneliness, and often do, they’re just less likely to be posting about it on Reddit. I don’t think teaching people to mask quirks and eccentricities/code-switch (any more than they need to to like, keep a job/keep safe) is good advice if you want to stop people from getting lonely. Sure, more people may accept them en masse, but you’re going to end up with really shallow connections/difficulty progressing to deeper relationships if you’re hiding your true self.

I know a lot of ‘eccentric weirdos’ who have thriving social circles and are into stuff like DnD, counter culture stuff, re-enactments etc.

Maybe it’s a semantics thing, and I’m misinterpreting your point, but I don’t think eccentric always has to be the antithesis of charismatic and social. While yes having community is really important to build social circles I don’t think we should lean too hard into conformity.

AidsVictim · 2024-07-24T21:31:15+00:00

TLDR: Largescale societal shifts don't just "happen" because "society." They happened because individuals built community and an infrastructure that sparked a flame that impacted the traction of "society."

If you look at how the current paradigm arose it was because technology advanced faster than humanitys ability to socially adapt (in a stable way). Society has spent decades now tearing down traditional social tracks, engendered by technology leading to social revolutions, that it's not clear how to build a socially stable society on a foundation that is constantly shifting and culturally resistant to having a common "track" of social development. If you want to look at the "grassroots" of groups who are "socially resistant" to these forces then it will mostly come from the religious.

uccelloverde · 2024-07-24T22:33:47+00:00

I definitely agree that parents- and extended family- raising kids in a sociable environment will lead to socially capable adults. I’m autistic and would have struggled no matter what, but I grew up with parents who are kind of recluses. And we were military, so we constantly moved and lived far away from my aunts, uncles and cousins. As an adult, I’ve gradually become more comfortable socializing, but I think you’re spot on as far ad the importance of early experiences.

Specs400 · 2024-07-24T21:32:05+00:00

Maybe we should educate children and their adult caretakers to be more accepting of people's quirks.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-07-25T06:10:05+00:00

As long as it's completely all one-sided: only men have changed, only men have to do this and that... then you'll never understand nor fix anything.

Pathosgrim · 2024-07-25T06:26:45+00:00

Raise normie sons so that they can be obedient little drones that maintain society whilst getting cucked 🤣

sakuragasaki46 · 2024-07-24T21:08:05+00:00

Too late, I am an edgelord already

SaBahRub · 2024-07-24T20:48:06+00:00

Parents who don’t care just don’t care. There’s no penalty for raising a shut in or failure to launch

banthaaa · 2024-07-24T21:17:50+00:00

Neurodivergency is genetic. This post has the same energy as telling the parents of a crippled child to just take them hiking since it will fix the fact they can't walk.

CraftyCooler · 2024-07-24T21:06:47+00:00

I agree - but i'm not sure how much you can actually achieve, human beings tend to be independent. My parents tried hard to drive my socialization - i was excelling in school, so they came up to conclusion that i should hang out with nerds, but I didn't liked their company. They were ok - but i prefered to hang out with various hooligans, it was way more fun with them, we smoked cigarettes, tried beer, there were always some girls around. I've got into trouble many times - including being arrested, but I was simply like that. Maybe my adhd played a role - but who knows, maybe it was personality.

babazuki · 2024-07-24T22:40:48+00:00

People shouldn't have kids if they can't raise them themselves. It's not the communities responsibility to make kids normal.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2024-07-25T06:15:22+00:00

I dont dislike people even though I'm introverted. I just think I have too many contradictions to truly fit in anywhere.

Sadsad0088 · 2024-07-25T06:32:12+00:00

Yes I completely agree!

My husband is a normie and I love that about him. Tons of friends, can make acquaintances everywhere we go, he’s funny and a pleasing human to be around. His parents are like him.

I grew up socially awkward and am still not out of it completely although I’ve learned to mask as you say, and my parents are more like me and since they didn’t fit into social groups they didn’t get me to fit.

I am as atheist as it gets but my future child will go to church, i will try to introduce them to do sports and all other things that can be helpful in creating a real social network.

I will try to limit coping mechanisms like videogames and hopefully teach about the issues with porn and hookup culture although as with everything it will be up to them, luck and the people’s around them.

LongDongOfMojave776 · 2024-07-25T08:15:07+00:00

I will one day, if I were to get a son absolutely make sure he never has to go through the shit I had to go through. He will be properly socialized. He will be given his own independence when he wants to. He will enroll in sports at an early age. He will be strong from day one, not like me who had to floudner around and grow after a bad childhood. You can count on that, and every guy who has a son should go an extra mile.

Swaggyboi42069a · 2024-07-28T04:45:41+00:00

Yeah dude just don't be fucking lame. Daniel Rad-cliffe not Daniel Boring-cliffe

SeveralSadEvenings · 2024-07-24T21:15:07+00:00

I mean sure, but damn if it isn't difficult if your surrounding community isn't on the same page.

Despite living on a street with lots of young families, I never see kids just fucking around outside. As much as I'd like to tell kiddo to just go outside and play, there are no kids to play with. And its not that these kids are cooped inside with the vidya (although I'm sure they exist somewhere) they are just at XYZ sport/camp/class/club, etc.

So, we go with the tide, and kiddo is also enrolled in XYZ sport/camp/class/club. Which is fine....but its not that unstructured play that I think is pretty vital to learning social rules 101. There's also the issue of so many activities because we have a ridiculously well funded park district, but now there's coding class, roblox class, fortnite class, etc. Which again is...fine...but its just indulging in that same sort of solitary, sedentary gamer world in a classroom with other kid silently clacking away on their keyboards.

The be fair though, the park district is starting up a co-op gaming league at the rec center so there is some group socialization there.

Anyhoo, I can see that kiddo is ripe for getting sucked into that lonely gamer world, but we're trying our best with soccer, gymnastics, and a summer spent at non tech related camps. He's also thankfully developed a mixed gender group of friends that can hopefully hold through out middle and high school.

I'm glad we live in a 'woke', family friendly, eco conscious, deeply blue community that has a robust park district, weekly events in the main square, lots of 3rd spaces, etc. I just think people are so scared to let their kids be kids and wander around doing kid shit because we're so close to an "undesirable" neighborhood, and thus people are terrified McKensieghy and Branxton will be taken out by a stray bullet from neighboring 'gang violence'. (although truly, the Chiraq stuff is happening way south of us).

Just_Another_Cog1 · 2024-07-24T20:34:44+00:00

Counterpoint: the problem of "male loneliness" isn't limited to men. It applies equally to all genders and all persons in our society today. And the cause of this "loneliness epidemic" is the continued expansion of capitalist greed into every aspect of our culture.

When was the last time you took a walk down the street and just, like, hung out at the mall? Or at a park? Or a gym or fairgrounds or any other public arena, where you weren't expected to pay for the privilege of being there?

There are some places (notably in big cities) where people can still do this sort of thing; but by and large, our public "third spaces" (i.e. not home, work or a place of business where we're engaging in commerce) have been slowly disappearing. The problem was made more obvious following the pandemic* when people started coming back into public life, only to realize that there just isn't as much incentive for folk to gather like they used to. We have the internet for our entertainment needs (and for some of us, it fills the social need, as well). We have our homes for our personal spaces. We have our jobs for the means of making money.

But a place where you can just, like, hang and chill and have fun and meet random people? Not nearly as common as it used to be (and in some places, practically nonexistent).

(*keeping in mind, obviously, that in some places in this world, the Covid pandemic is still ongoing.)

-Kalos · 2024-07-24T21:53:17+00:00

"Male loneliness" is a disingenuous red herring. Most of the men complaining about it won't explicitly say that it's female validation that they're starved for—not human contact in general—but it becomes readily aparent once you interact with them.

In cultures with more gender segregation men seem to more easily learn to bond with each other and make the best of it. But in integrated societies, males seem to prefer to whither away and subsist on the mere fantasy of female attention or subsist on the fringes of social circles as long as it gurantees them even a crumb of access to women's lives.

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-07-24T22:27:29+00:00

This is conceding victory to the system looming over you and trying to adapt to get the increasingly small scraps of social dignity left. I want a system that respects me regardless of my confidence, rapport, competency, or social connections, and I isolate myself because society can't meet these expectations, regardless of the goodies they promise.

People will start being happier once the system collapses and something new comes about, and until that happens, interacting with their small counter culture.

ilike18yoblackpussy · 2024-07-24T22:42:58+00:00

I don't believe in male loneliness epidemics, insofar as all studies suggest more or less equal levels of male and female loneliness, with women reporting slightly higher levels of loneliness than women.

I think a lot of so-called male loneliness is just dudes wanting to get laid.

Sufficient_Bad8146 · 2024-07-24T20:43:19+00:00

Being a 'normie' is overrated when it comes to dating. A quick browse through communities of guys who struggle with dating shows that personality traits aren't often the problem as these men are rejected before women have interacted with them. A huge reason these guys aren't labeled as normies is because they can't date, not the other way around.

Large-Signal-157 · 2024-07-24T20:27:38+00:00

Yeah no, sorry we should stamp out quirks. Not stamping out quirks and weirdness is what got us into this situation.

Purple_Kangaroo8549 · 2024-07-24T20:39:00+00:00

Lmao, just remake men into what women are comfortable with.

No, I don't think so.

MikeArrow · 2024-07-24T20:27:41+00:00

My mother and sister tried, believe me. I was constantly being pushed into doing various sports that I didn't enjoy - football, cricket, soccer, basketball, karate... I eventually stuck with tennis but I never progressed past the lowest rank because I just wasn't good at it and didn't care to practice or train in any way.

All I wanted was to sit in my room and play video games. That's it. Anything else I was highly, highly resistant to and would only do begrudgingly.

Downtown_Cat_1173 · 2024-07-24T21:03:12+00:00

VEHEMENTLY DISAGREE. My parents raised my sister and me (born in the’70s) to be “normies.” She succeeded and I failed. My dad lived a life of social paralysis and few friends, working hard to conform himself around what others liked and did. He hated that I had nerdy friends. I met them through choir and synagogue. Those friends sat with me at his memorial.

I married a guy whom I met while he was out transit fanning, which is one of the hobbies that attracts the most autistic people you have ever met. We’re crazy in love after 20 years.

My beautiful, skinny sister and her handsome asshole husband sat with cousins at my dad’s memorial because they had no friends supporting them that day. She’s not happy with him and has had a lot of trouble finding her way in life, even though she’s perfect on the surface.

Be yourself. Get to know yourself. Find people like yourself.

Electrical_Novel1156 · 2024-07-25T03:29:04+00:00

Socialize your kids like you socialize your dogs people get those tablets away from them so we have less incels and femnazis

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-07-25T04:05:20+00:00

That's right, start raising normie sons! Make sure they become good stepfathers to my son's children!

fundamentally_comfy · 2024-07-24T22:45:52+00:00

The utter hatred and contempt for everything non-normie in this sub is disgusting and sad.

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sprckets21 · 2024-07-24T21:48:18+00:00

You’re putting a lot on parents here. How would you raise your kid to be a fbois? Watch red pill YouTube videos and be coach him to pickup chicks at the mall.

You just mostly let your kids exist and help them along when you can, chances are, he will be a normie.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-07-24T22:27:13+00:00

The problem with youth sports is it can still be mercilessly competitive on the boy's side. A few bad throws in a baseball game can get you some pretty nasty ridicule, and not being good at sports can translate to poor social ranking outside of sports (at least where I grew up which had minimal adult supervision). That's why I never objected to the idea of "participation trophies"; I think you should at least be acknowledged for trying something even if you sucked.

John_Oakman · 2024-07-24T23:17:34+00:00

The cultures (especially parenting norms) of the countries in East Asia (or far orient depending on which version of English one's using) heavily stressed conformity and adhering to social normality. Yet they (whether in their countries on those immigrant communities in the Euro-Atlantic democracies) often face similar issues when it comes to formation of relationships.

OKSector69 · 2024-07-25T00:19:09+00:00

So normie things like team sports, having a strong circle of male friends and a good social life, and having lots of active and social hobbies beyond just playing video games and watching tv? So in other words exactly the sorts of things that trp advocates for?

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-07-25T01:52:12+00:00

While I think you have a point only in that if sons where raised to be much more similar to each other it would help, since the variance in men is one of the things that is so detrimental, this would only make minor changes even with every single man sufficiently socialized.

justforlulz12345 · 2024-07-25T03:04:51+00:00

Except “normies” are a psyop by Them to stamp out dissent

Hi-Road · 2024-07-25T04:37:59+00:00

I understand the premise but I don’t think the push for an imaginary baseline that is “normie” is the move - especially if we have to narrow it down to just sons. I think the keys are aptitude and confidence for EVERYONE. Aptitude for finding a path. Confidence for continuing down that path.

I also don’t think using the word “normie” does much good. Most people are weirder than you probably think. Most of the things that are brought up in this sub are and have been discussed by.. the majority of people. The pill thing is just a weird twist on it.

“Fitting in” is definitely easier, so most people do it in public, in daily life - but the people who stand out and shake shit up seem to be the weird-ass “neurodivergent” people, with their strange ideas and style that they display proudly. They’re the people with the bravery (or mental blocks) to at least try push past criticism from people who think they’re doing too much.

I feel like if be doing a maaaajor disservice to my son or daughter by trying to get them to live a more “normal” life. I see people every day like “my parents want me to get married already! I’m not ready!” and “my parents want me to have kids! I don’t want em!” - “My parents want me to major in STEM! I wanna do writing!” I’m seeing this as the same thing. Not everyone wants to live the same kind of life.

Psyteratops · 2024-07-25T06:06:42+00:00

There’s a huge assumption here that parenting style or societal change is what got us into this mess when it’s pretty clear that the culprits are more tangible material conditions. The quickest ways out, the handles to this machine, are going to be changing these conditions not lifestyle projects.

Things like changes in the economic makeup of the modern economy, the destruction of the classic community, the rise of algorithmic social media feeds, and dating apps are all much more profoundly interconnected with what is going on here than parenting styles.

The answer for society isn’t individual (though anyone can make change in their own lives) it’s political.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-07-25T06:19:00+00:00

You must to leave car-centric murrican suburbia at very least. No matter how friendly your community is if your kid can't go outside by himself and find other kids then it will be all useless. "Arranged friendships" won't work.

obviousredflag · 2024-07-25T06:36:39+00:00

That young boy needed help learning how to integrate and socialize and his parents and his community FAILED HIM. Probably because his parents lack "normie" socialization, friends, and community as well

Well, if his parents found each other and procreated, their son can do so too, doing the same things they did.

In a world like this you HAVE to be intentional about fostering community for yourself and your loved ones. It won't just "magically" happen for you. You need to start surrounding yourself with community-oriented ilk and being the change you want to see for you and yours.

And how do parents do that? And if they can do that, why can't their kids not do it on their own? Why do we not just address the issue NOW with the current generation of anti-social lonely men? They read you here. It's their ecosystem. Tell them to get out and socialize and you will get answers ranging form: "where do you meet women", to "there are no third spaces left", to "nobody, not even men, want to talk to me".

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-07-25T08:34:41+00:00

Normie-code switching only works for ONS. If people have to put on an act for an entire relationship they are going to be miserable. If the initial socialization isn't able to fully convert someone to a normie then they might as well just embrace their quirkiness and focus on looksmaxxing. I'm not going to mask my entire personality just to attract women.

kongeriket · 2024-07-25T09:52:44+00:00

Or rather start raising sons who can at least mask as "normie" decently enough and who feel comfortable and accepted around "normies."

What are we supposed to be debate here? That fake it till you make it is a solid strategy? Is that news?

In my opinion, the most effective answer to the "male loneliness crisis" is for young boys' parents and his larger community to pitch in raising a well-socialized "normie" son.

Yes and no.

Sure, easy to do for me because I can afford it. Much harder to do for most of everyone else in a society with a collapsing total fertility rate.

To have a larger community that community needs to exist in the first place. I moved residence several times fishing for a place that has other children so my son can have someone to play with. How many people can actually afford that?

Your advice would've been great in 1995 or 1980 - when physical interaction was de facto mandatory and there simply were more children to go around - thus more opportunities for the son to interact with his peers.

In 2024, your advice is not necessarily wrong, but it comes with logistical challenges that are straight-up insurmountable for 60%+ of the population (maybe even more in poorer jurisdictions/countries).

For example, as much as some people hate on "church" or "fraternities" or youth team sports... those things do effectively incentivize people to socialize and build IN REAL LIFE IN-PERSON connections on a weekly basis

Sure. But location is everything on this too.

A few years ago there was astonishment in Germany that the youngsters vote for the "far right" and part of the answer to "why" turns out to be... unsurprisingly... the wide neglect of the social infrastructure for the youth. The issue is even worse in North America - where cities are straight-up anti-children and anti-youth.

And fixing that requires a bit more than just being an involved parent. Because it's a systemic issue at this point.

Parents CANNOT "latchkey" "laissez faire" raise an intrinsically introverted diffident perhaps socially awkward kid and then be "utterly shocked" that he chose to spend the first 20 years of his life indulging his more antisocial proclivities by existing solely on Discord or exclusively in online spaces as opposed to in the real world building IRL in-person confidence, rapport, competency, and social connections. Now he's a grown man weirdo who's even more entrenched in "how he sees the world."

Absolutely correct.

But most people can't really say "NO". Not to mention in some countries (Norway for instance), saying no to your child is "child abuse". And then you meet the wrath of Barnevernet.

More broadly, parents are subjected to peer pressure as well. Me and the missus can laugh it off, and in the process give permission to other parents who may feel the same - but most can't/won't. Sure, it's their "fault" I guess, but that doesn't forward the argument.

Even on this sub I was called a bad parent because I refuse to give my son a smartphone and refuse to allow internet access to him. Apparently, not knowing how to browse TikTok at age 8 is me raising a "technologically illiterate" child 😂

Also, your post appears to be neglecting the benefits of niche maxing. Not that I'd advocate for it (I really don't) but we can't deny its benefits when it works.

Finally, we also need to keep in mind that being "normie" varies by context. The Russians have a say: "Everything makes sense in context" (всё имеет смисыл в контексте). Parents will (and should) want to instill their values in their child(ren). So if "normie" in their context fits their values, they'll want to (and usually will do) just as you suggested. But if there's a mismatch, then the parents themselves will be incentivized not to do that.

Practical example: My son is normie-ish in my context. But if we had to move to San Francisco, I'll be damned if I wouldn't try my best to keep him away from being a normie in that context.

alwaysright12 · 2024-07-25T10:23:49+00:00

Almost all men are 'normies'

People on the Internet make it seem like the weird/incel types are the norm.

They're not.

Most men form relationships absolutely fine.

Those who don't are probably inherently 'weird' rather than having been expressly raised that way

envious1998 · 2024-07-25T12:07:27+00:00

This is forcing people who may not be comfortable around “normies” to be around them and potentially face horrible bullying situations while denying them outlets for their own creativity and happiness because they aren’t “normie” enough. I cannot think of a worse way to raise a child outside of straight up abuse.

Pegmaster6969696969 · 2024-07-25T13:26:12+00:00

I don't wanna have kids because what if I pass onto them my autistic and loser genes and they turn out like me and then they have to suffer all through life just like I did. Why would I do that to a poor kid?

odd_cloud · 2024-07-25T20:49:54+00:00

My response could be more nuanced than that, but it’s “yes, but no”.

While I think there is a share of romantically unsuccessful guys who are poorly socialised (a neckbeard from the basement), mainly guys have difficulties because of lack of specific romantic communication skills.

Savings-Bee-4993 · 2024-07-27T04:32:02+00:00

I don’t think this general solution will work as we continue to slide into further polarization, atomization, consumerism, addiction, disease, low birth rates, and echo chambers which will slowly poison us against one another.

just_a_place · 2024-07-27T06:35:32+00:00

I was raised to be a "norm" and here I am. 😐

Male "loneliness" does not exist. You're amplifying a bunch of outliers - online - with a megaphone.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-07-24T21:59:17+00:00

Too many people here thinking an introverted dork isn't well adjusted. I think the terms OP is looking for are "emotional intelligence" "social intelligence" and "functioning." You can be a dorky weirdo who has enough of these traits to be successful with a match. You could be extroverted with popular interests and not have these traits.

Handsome_Goose · 2024-07-25T00:58:00+00:00

TBH posting about raising sons on a subreddit dedicated to dating woes sounds like a not so subtle troll

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-07-24T21:21:48+00:00

The awkwardness is probably the biggest problem. Once they get rid of it, it would probably make their dating lives at least 5x better.

HappyCat79 · 2024-07-24T23:17:10+00:00

Both of my sons are autistic and I can’t make them not be autistic. They get all of the different therapies that are offered to them, but they’re still autistic.

They need to be themselves.

My ex is autistic and was never allowed to just be himself and so now he has a legitimate personality disorder. He is so uncomfortable with himself that he lacks a core personality. He is constantly masking and pretending to be someone that he isn’t and it’s very sad.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-07-24T21:11:29+00:00

Alternative suggestion - don’t have children full stop; there can be “no male loneliness epidemic” among children who are never born! Nobody would deliberately (one would hope) set out to raise children who grow up to be maladjusted, so the most sensible solution is that we as a species voluntarily work towards our own extinction.

Myagooshki2 · 2024-07-24T23:24:37+00:00

Not being a normie is absolutely beneficial to men. Just combine it with outgoingness and frame control. Fuck being a normie. I grind normies bones to make my bread.

MistyMaisel · 2024-07-25T03:32:05+00:00

I dunno about all this. I think if you argued for taking away or heavily regulating most opportunities for addictive escapism (video games, porn, drugs, social media), I'd agree with that premise. I may even agree an emphasis on learning "when in Rome" style socializing.

What I'm not convinced of is that people need to squash their freak flag or learn to hide it, so much as presentation.

N-Zoth · 2024-07-24T20:42:41+00:00

I think that if we narrow down the problem to the internet, it will self-correct. In a couple of years, every corner of the internet will be flooded by generative AI content and you will have bots talking at each other on social media platforms. Once that happens, people will stop spending so much time online simply because the internet will stop being cool.

DGenerationMC · 2024-07-25T02:18:10+00:00

This does not mean that we should stomp out individuality, eccentricity, or uniqueness. Absolutely not! It means that's it's okay to have the competency and presence of mind to know how to blend tf in sometimes.

Fuck, yeah, more Patrick Batemans!

More Huey Lewis and the News fans!

Start raising "normie" sons

Comments

HEY PAUL

Title	Start raising "normie" sons
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	32
Comments	419
Date	July 24, 2024 8:14 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ebbdfc/start_raising_normie_sons/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/start-raising-normie-sons.1525219 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525219