Q4M: Would you date a woman who took "How to talk to men" classes?

USPSHoudini · 2025-04-30T15:43:15+00:00

Most men would be happy a woman was speaking to them lol

growframe · 2025-04-30T16:00:10+00:00

If she's fun to be around then she's fun to be around. Don't care where she got it from.

abaxeron · 2025-04-30T16:21:56+00:00

Q4M: Would you date a woman who took "How to talk to men" classes?

YES. Appreciate her effort.

TL;DR: Chatted with some friends who said they'd never date a guy who had to take a course on "How to talk to women" or "How to be confident" because that is something he should NATURALLY know.

Well women NATURALLY should have an extant waistline that doesn't protrude forward more than boobs, but here we are.

ButFirstMyCoffee · 2025-04-30T16:20:49+00:00

My wife is painfully awkward sometimes.

She hates being the center of attention so much that we eloped. She does that anxiety thing where she'll plan out conversations before we go see people and then on the way home I can see the wheels turning as she reviews those conversations.

Different people are good at different things and we all live different lives and sometimes those lives don't lend themselves to building strong social skills. To me, those "how to talk to men/women" classes are no different than those "adulting" classes where millennials learn stuff like budgeting and home maintenance and how to change your oil.

TheGloriousEv0lution · 2025-04-30T15:32:53+00:00

It depends, if it’s a normal social skills class I’m perfectly fine with it. I don’t feel like guys care as much about their partner being awkward nearly as much as women do

If it’s a pink pill class then absolutely not

AidsVictim · 2025-04-30T15:53:40+00:00

Nope.

For the most part women judge much more harshly on social awkwardness than men. Men basically don't care unless it's a borderline disability or it's the 1% expecting class specific sensibilities.

millenium-pigeon · 2025-04-30T15:38:20+00:00

Who cares? You wouldn’t fault someone for taking a career bootcamp or something like that.

Fun_Push7168 · 2025-04-30T16:00:07+00:00

Oh please. They're just assuming they could tell and basing their turnoff on that. If they cant tell they don't give a shit.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2025-04-30T15:30:16+00:00

I'd definitely want to know what kind of class it was.

There's charisma classes, and then there's "men/women are not people and exist for your comfort" classes. It's important to know which one she'd have taken.

all_hail_michael_p · 2025-04-30T15:31:16+00:00

Do women even have classes like that? Or is it just learning about how to talk with guys who look like supermodels without getting nervous?

If the second is true then you'll have to ask a male supermodel.

Barely-moral · 2025-04-30T16:33:44+00:00

Yes I would. I don't care. Why should I care? It makes no sense

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2025-04-30T16:44:52+00:00

Yes (if I weren't married). With how normalized it is to be mean to men in relationships these days, a woman who likes and respects men enough to make an effort to please them and gain their approval would be a breath of fresh air.

roankr · 2025-04-30T15:34:43+00:00

Me, personally? Someone has to start from somewhere. So no diss that they're looking for ways to socialize as quickly as possible. College is about condensing information as fast as possible since self-learning can take months compared to simple textbook excerpts that can help with solid foundation within weeks.

Though I'll probably have alarm bells ringing in my head if the woman spills spaghetti far too often in any conversation. They might be wonderful to be as an acquaintance or a friend but relationships can get rocky and if they have inexperience to handle basic emotional turmoil then a whole ass decision process for the future of that relationship might feel like pulling teeth.

EvilTribble · 2025-04-30T15:52:58+00:00

That is a particularly stupid "ick" if you take it seriously that charm comes naturally. In the same way I don't think women fall out of bed looking dinner date ready.

What this woman is saying is that she likes experienced men and she uses their charisma to judge them. If there were some class then either A. it teaches men wrong and its bad or B. it is a good shortcut that ruins her metric and its bad.

The ick doesn't work at all the other way because if there were a class that untaught feminism men would fall over each other trying to date the graduates.

AntonioSLodico · 2025-04-30T16:04:57+00:00

It would 100% depend on the content of the courses for me, TBH. If it helped her to flirt, build sexual tension, give off an aura of confidence, etc. cool. Shit, I would even pay and write a review if it was solid enough.

If it was about how to play head games, neg dudes, or be a Stepford wife, nah.

Your friend sounds like the guys who want women who have big breasts but get mad at women who have breast implants.

JohnaldJr21 · 2025-04-30T16:09:53+00:00

Yeah.

Outside of just trying to talk to the dude I hope a dating coach would give these woman advice on how to treat men. Most women are really nice but there are always a few bad apples who ruin it for everybody. As a society we teach men how to treat women but women aren’t taught how to treat men. If a woman took a dating class it my opinion of her would be higher.

DiligentRope · 2025-04-30T16:16:52+00:00

its different because women dont need to be charming or confident. Most men would assume that a "how to talk to men" class is more of a cringy feminist depiction of 'how to be one of the bros'.

Its why MILFs are known to be masters of seduction, yet also known to be the most direct.

Jetpine9 · 2025-04-30T16:35:20+00:00

Not only would I not mind, I'd say most women need a class like this. Well - perhaps they don't need it since they aren't expected to initiate, so if being passive still works for them (and many swear that it does with near religiosity), they obviously don't "need" it. But for women who find that the men who approach them aren't the ones they want to spend time with (although those men are often representatives of le confident male, so what's not to like, eh?), they need it.

ComfortableJeans · 2025-04-30T16:38:35+00:00

It depends.

If she's just shy, self conscious and/or struggles socially, I'm totally fine with it. Being shy and awkward can be very charming in and of itself.

I've had partners who've needed a little time to open up and show me who they were once they've calmed down and I'm not a stranger anymore.

But if this coach is some woman equivalent of a Red Pill guru, teaching her how to manipulate and get what she wants out of me, I'm out.

AhmadMansoot · 2025-04-30T16:50:26+00:00

As a disclaimer I'm autistic so my view on social skills might severly differ from the average guy.

But I would not care about that. I had to consciously learn those things too so I don't judge. I would even see that as green flag since it signals a growth mindset and the ability to recognise flaws/ areas where she isn't good in and willingness to improve. In the end I only care if we can effectively communicate with eachother and it doesn't matter how or where we learned that.

aslfingerspell · 2025-04-30T17:25:35+00:00

Absolutely. I grew up in the special needs world so the idea of basic life skills needing to be taught to people, even literal adults, is totally normal to me. Social awkwardness to the point of actual disability is the baseline I know from my formative years. I don't expect charm or smoothness from anyone.

More personally, I'd be grateful for the effort to self-improve, and don't care where someone's skills came from. I don't need someone to be "naturally" or "authentically" confident. The way I see it all social interaction is a performance.

Fallen-Shadow-1214 · 2025-04-30T17:32:38+00:00

I’m abstaining from dating and I’d break it for a woman that took the effort to learn how to talk to men.

That kind of sincere consideration can’t be wasted.

tacticaltossaway · 2025-04-30T17:50:15+00:00

Of course, taking a class indicates at least a minor inclination towards being human.

M3taBuster · 2025-04-30T19:47:07+00:00

Sure, that's adorable, if anything.

millenium-pigeon · 2025-04-30T21:37:55+00:00

I guess I don’t get it. If women like slick, charismatic dudes. Then why the hate for guys learning those social skills.

I’m a good looking successful guy. It feels like I was punished for that in this avenue. As if people felt the need to hamstring me so I don’t live up to my full potential.

Spoiler alert: everything I was taught was icky and douchey is exactly what seems to work.

Sorry.

shadowrangerfs · 2025-04-30T21:45:51+00:00

I'd have no problem dating that woman. What's wrong with someone seeing they need some help and getting it?

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Sea_Poppy · 2025-04-30T15:34:57+00:00

A course? Was it a college elective? Lol

Neptune-Jnr · 2025-04-30T16:54:57+00:00

I don't see why I would care too much.

r2k398 · 2025-04-30T17:37:40+00:00

Why not? That means she is probably shy which to me is more attractive than someone who is a loudmouth. Yes, I know that there are a lot of people who are neither but chances are that she’s shy.

Steakman1 · 2025-04-30T17:38:03+00:00

Nobody is naturally charming. It’s all learned somehow. You don’t come out of the womb knowing how to socialize well. As long as it doesn’t seem like she’s an actress playing a role that isn’t true to who she is, then I don’t really care.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-04-30T17:44:23+00:00

Men’s standards are not nearly that exclusively high to require women to be innately the best before meeting their bare minimum standards.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-04-30T17:59:05+00:00

Absolutely. Also, I’d expect to never learn about her having taken this class regardless.

All that matters (for either gender) is how the vibe is. I can’t see how she developed social intelligence to have any effect on our connection. If it’s off, it’s off. If it’s hot… she’s gonna be invited to meet my dog…

wtknight · 2025-04-30T18:11:12+00:00

Yes, sure. I think that it’s good when women try to learn more about men.

RelevantJackWhite · 2025-04-30T18:16:56+00:00

Yes, I'd be perfectly fine with that. I would probably ask some questions to make sure it wasn't the women's version of Andrew Tate teaching the course, though. If "how to talk to men" means "men are stupid and fall for these easy tricks", we wouldn't last long.

find out he had to pay money to learn it. There was talk about being authentic, genuine, and being able to tell who is coming off as rehearsed, practiced, women's intuition, vibes, etc.

Sounds like your friends are not interested in the well-educated...this sounds a lot like being turned off by a math degree because he couldn't intuit calculus on his own

NockerJoe · 2025-04-30T18:26:36+00:00

As I get older I've relaxed on it. A lot of people have shit they need to work through and if anything this is proof they consider their problems something to tackle and work through rather than just ignore until they suddenly can't.

Some people have more restrictive backgrounds. Some people have some kind of anxiety. Some people have some other stuff going on and may benefit from therapy or instruction at some point.

Besides, "the natural" is a feminine fantasy aat its core, because it removes agency from the situation. Because that way nobody had to make any choices, some dude just shows up ready made and you go along with it. Nobody ever made a choice, you just got what you wanted automatically without anyone having to make any decisions.

MistaCreepz · 2025-04-30T18:30:19+00:00

I'd make fun of her for it, but sure, why not

No-Ground604 · 2025-04-30T19:35:22+00:00

there is no such thing as natural charm or confidence. these are learned traits reinforced by consistent and intentional efforts and practice, anyone who views it as natural just is not perceiving the learning process and is pretty ignorant imo

as a man, i wouldn’t mind talking to a woman who took those classes. if anything i’d probably be more interested in talking to a woman who took those classes than man one who didn’t for the same reasons i’d prefer a woman who grew up with a father to one who didn’t, or one who has a job/career ambitions vs one who doesn’t have those thing.

what you can infer abt someone’s character from those things matters more then the things themselves, and what could be interested here is that a woman who takes classes to talk to me is probably an earnest person making an attempt to socialise and develop into a better person than they may have been raised to be. taking any sort of classes whilst not in school means you’re probably more mindful abt personal development than most, and i can respect that enough to give them a chance

Parrotsandarmadillos · 2025-04-30T19:52:01+00:00

Yeah but the concept is weird. Talking to me isn’t like talking a different species. I’m a normal human. Just talk to me like that. Flirting might be difficult only because I can’t pick up on it.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-04-30T20:30:50+00:00

As long as she's attractive and good in bed, yeah sure I wouldn't have a problem if she's had some coaching. I mean how is it all that different than getting advice on reddit subs like this?

grown_folks_talkin · 2025-04-30T21:06:22+00:00

It would be endearing, the opposite of trying to come off as unbothered as possible.

Trying to think of how this could be a negative, if this was a mask for a serious personality disorder that wouldn't be great, but just practice in not being awkward or broadening her conversation topics? Only positive.

cuminciderolnyt · 2025-04-30T21:09:58+00:00

for men this is the general concept (again this could all be relative)

Look decent enough (be of a reasonable weight , take care of appearance)

be a lady in the street and slut in the sheet

Be easy to talk to and do not nag

don't be dramatic and bring drama

be ideally low maintenance

have some spark and spontaneity

have some hobbies and engage or at least support ours

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-04-30T22:08:19+00:00

Sure, why not?

It's nice that this girl has made a real effort to become a good partner. Not many women do that, and that's why she's already in a winning position for my heart.

And, "should NATURALLY know" is cosmic nonsense that only applies to the most attractive part of humanity. I've seen this with guys who are very physically attractive and therefore they even constantly receive offers from girls. They live in an easy mode and they simply don't have to think or learn anything, there's hardly any reason to be proud of that.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-05-01T02:51:04+00:00

Wouldn’t matter much because if she was really into me she’d adopt a lot of my worldview anyways or would be about it from the start.

catdog8020 · 2025-05-01T03:06:21+00:00

Men don’t have the luxury of having icks. lol 😂

DevThaGodfatha · 2025-05-01T03:23:08+00:00

Definitely wouldn’t mind. The X factor is that she truly went out of her way to take CLASSES to learn how to do this. That has to account for something even with originally terrible social skills. The intent and effort made matters. That means she really wants to improve her skills and even get to know or care about how we function as a species.

Blue__Ronin · 2025-05-01T05:02:18+00:00

natural. coaches make you replicate them.

Hot-Impact-5860 · 2025-05-01T06:34:01+00:00

I think your friends are dumb. People learn absolutely everything, starting from childhood. When fathers are not around, you need to learn, period.

There's nothing natural about human social behavior. This whole premise is the basis on the social theories and ideologies. For once they're right.

I would be very impressed and would definitely listen with interest of what she'd learned.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-05-01T11:22:50+00:00

Yes, both of them aren't a problem. I have to see by my eyes who really match

just_a_place · 2025-05-02T06:41:14+00:00

If she's hot.... yes.

Equivalent-Pie-7148 · 2025-05-07T03:41:14+00:00

Yes, it shows she cares enough to put effort in and not assume her worldview was inherently flawless

Puzzleheaded_ghost · 2025-05-07T05:28:39+00:00

Hey, I find autistic women cool. Sociopaths can be exciting, but that's too much work for me. It depends on why they are taking the class.

Men have this protective thing going on. They don't need the woman for defense. They need a partner who gets it. Who would encourage and help if he had trouble communicating. An Incels wet dream. A woman who cares.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-04-30T15:38:12+00:00

I probably would even if it was just so she could “practice” with me

Title	Q4M: Would you date a woman who took "How to talk to men" classes?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	17
Comments	221
Date	April 30, 2025 3:27 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1kbjaeo/q4m_would_you_date_a_woman_who_took_how_to_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-would-you-date-a-woman-who-took-how-to-talk-to.1551054 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551054

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