Describe the "modern man"

Waschbar-krahe · 2023-06-17T21:10:38+00:00

As someone in a relationship with a "modern" man, the main difference i see in him compared to people like my dad, is that he greatly values my opinion and allows me to have complete independence. I have my own bank account, a job, a car, hobbies and my own friends and he has the same. We're completely equal whereas "traditional" men seem to treat their partners like something they own and can fit into a box to meet their aesthetics.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-06-18T00:33:47+00:00

What else?

Capacity to change. Specifically adaptability. It's not gender specific, but it is fundamental. To growth. To success.

Godspeed and good luck!

EulenWatcher · 2023-06-17T21:28:59+00:00

I'd guess the main difference would be that he doesn't think our gender should dictate how we should live and he sees his partner as an equal, not someone subordinate to him. Everything else follows it: he actually listens to his partner and he can express himself freely, he doesn't try to fit into his gender role or fit his partner into their gender role, they share responsibilities in a way that works for both of them and not just according to their sex, he's an active and involved father who wants to share the parental leave etc.

Novadina · 2023-06-17T22:12:34+00:00

Believe in an egalitarian relationship, not that someone has to be boss to the other.
Doesn’t believe in gender roles, tasks and responsibilities can be divided based on desire and skill instead of genitals
Thinks of sex as a mutually enjoyed activity between people, not something a man pays a woman to do for him

Lolabird2112 · 2023-06-17T22:42:11+00:00

Eh? Basically someone not into proscribed gender roles and old fashioned traditional conservative views on how a marriage should be run.

They look for an equal partnership as opposed to the pathetic “man leader” garbage. Guys are too obsessed with the “who’s boss” thing. Sometimes 2 heads are better than one. Sometimes you’re wrong, sometimes you aren’t as good or experienced or objective in a certain circumstance.

They look for an equal partner instead of a “virgin who’ll take care of the household and be silent” kinda fantasy.

karmakiller3001 · 2023-06-18T13:56:30+00:00

Why exactly is this the "modern" man? According to who? lol So any man without these "traits" is not modern? Ok bubbles. This sub is a reality show on TLC I swear lol

zyex12 · 2023-06-17T22:37:47+00:00

All this modern and traditional stuff seems weird I mean no one perfectly fits into these categories except for a few people I feel like no one’s fully traditional or fully modern I guess like I’m just being me and doing whatever I feel is right I never see it as modern or not

LiveWallaby233 · 2023-06-17T22:21:54+00:00

You just described an ideal men according to feminists

januaryphilosopher · 2023-06-17T22:53:46+00:00

One who doesn't follow tradition, or rather what is largely invented tradition based on emotional desires rather than historical tradition. There are about a million ways to go against norms even if there's only one way to follow them, so there's a wide range of ways this could look. The way you described is a pretty appealing one though.

YveisGrey · 2023-06-18T03:54:04+00:00

I think my dad is a modern man despite being super religious. In fact come to think of it most of the men in my family are. I actually don’t know any chauvinistic men in my family. From my experience these men

Support their wives having careers

Are not jealous or controlling

Are involved with their kids

Push their daughters to excel academically just like their sons

Have no problem with hiring help for chores and stuff (my parents are immigrants and in their home country hiring help is more normal whereas in the US it’s like you gotta be super rich or something to have help)

Don’t have expectations for wives being super domestic

Aren’t super macho, most of the men in my family are intellectuals with professional jobs (a lot of engineers, few Drs here and there etc.) they don’t care a lot about being super handy or athletic. They like sports and stuff (mostly soccer) but it’s not an obsession. Also they don’t own guns but I think that’s because they are immigrants vs Americans.

YearnsToDestroySun · 2023-06-18T07:21:30+00:00

I fall in love with sex dolls and anime body pillows!

xItaliax · 2023-06-17T22:34:02+00:00

What age though

modidlee · 2023-06-18T01:07:51+00:00

I wouldn't mind a woman that's the breadwinner, but if I didn't have some constructive reason for waking up every morning and doing something outside of the house that benefited the family I think I'd be depressed
I pay for dates. But once you've established that you're exclusive I see nothing wrong with women paying sometimes
I don't hung up on body count. But I would prefer a woman who prefers to have sex in the context of a committed relationship/situation and not just casual hookups
I don't seek out career women. But there's nothing wrong with a woman having a career. It doesn't make her "better" than a woman that doesn't though
I've been told I'm emotionally available and talk about my feelings and emotions more than most guys
I like smart women and can recognize if she's gifted or talented in certain areas and don't have a problem listening to her advice. A smart man always values his wife's counsel

I think I'm a "modern man" but some of the men I see labeled as "modern men" online seem ridiculous to me

adalyn7992 · 2023-06-18T02:10:11+00:00

I think this is a really great question. We often hear about “toxic masculinity” but rarely hear examples of what positive masculinity is. I think a lot of men today are lost and searching for their role in modern society.

Diamond-Breath · 2023-06-17T22:21:56+00:00

Modern men have the fashion sense and beauty of Adam Sandler, expect women to go 50/50 with them while leaving all the domestic duties and child-rearing to the woman. They also expect to be called "head of the household" or "the man of the house" when in reality women are the ones doing the heavy-lifting inside and outside the home. They don't even know how to take care of their sick wives and relatives.

Thankfully I have a great man by my side, but it's pretty clear that he's the exception and not the rule.

wagnerlight · 2023-06-18T16:54:07+00:00

I would treat my partner just like she was a guy I don’t see a point in treating her differently because of her biology that seems like an excuse. If she is weaker in strength then I don’t mind lifting the heavier things and doing the harder things but I’m not chopping that up to gender I would do that for a weaker male as well. If she is interested in me she doesn’t have to act like a girl she can act however she actually is if I like her I like her won’t change. If she wants to be a football player then power to her. If she wants to dominate power to her. If she’s more submissive and I’m more dominate then power to that. I don’t want them forced into what society tells them they should do. Why should we limit ourselves??

Cactus2711 · 2023-06-18T22:05:11+00:00

In a modern relationship where both partners are earning around the same amount of money, each person should WANT to pay for things. I'm currently in a relationship like this and it's amazing. I feel proud to treat her to dinners and getaways/experiences and she does the exact same. This to me is how the modern relationship should be

babazuki · 2023-06-17T22:33:34+00:00

You can change your behavior, but you can't change the way your brain works or what you're attracted to. Men are still men, it's arrogant and foolish to think you can make men like things they aren't biologically programmed to like by changing your own personal behavior.

You can create enough social pressure so that people have to accept some new changes, but no one is actually finding things attractive because you're telling them they should. They're just sucking it up and dealing with it.

Men don't like working, but they innately know that most women neither respect or are attracted to unemployed men. You might be able to convince a man to stay at home, but he's going to feel uncomfortable about it.
Men don't mind sharing resources with women if they have an abundance. He will happily pay for all of her expenses if he makes enough. It almost never works the other way.
Men don't like sexual promiscuity in women. You can try to shame them and tell them they're insecure if they care about it. Some will be say they don't care because of that. But no man really wants a woman that has slept around a lot. Patriarchies always enforce chastity in women because that's what men inherently desire for their partners.
Men will always look at women as people who should be protected and provided for and they will always feel they should do that if they're able to. They can applaud a woman's accomplishments to make her feel good, but they'll never be an attraction point for men. Their brains don't work that way.
Women are never going to take a man serious when he's vulnerable. I'm not a fan of Justin Peterson, but he gets a ton of hate from progressive minded women. One of their go to insults is to call him a cry baby because of how emotional he gets sometimes. You can say men should be able to be vulnerable, but it will never be respected by women.
A man that looks for some one to lead him is unconfident and unattractive to most women.

Social changes women have made have been for their own benefit. They haven't been focused on changing men to be better for relationships. That's impossible to do to other people.

themostgianthorse · 2023-06-17T21:19:15+00:00

I think I’m a traditional one. The modern man is a directionless pussy with no emotional control .

I would never be a stay at home husband
I am married but paid for the first dates and I generally pay for our dinners even though it is “our” money.
most men care about body count.
I want my wife to have an enjoyable career. I do not care about her status within the job.
I try to never voice a complaint or struggle without suggesting a solution for myself
My wife knows that I am the leader and I am the head of our household.

Unnecessary-Training · 2023-06-17T21:07:10+00:00

There are 4 billion of them, and more are being born every minute. Every man alive today is 'modern' by definition.

CapsuleCorpLogo · 2023-06-17T20:57:17+00:00

The third point does not count. It absolutely does matter and those foolish enough to think it doesn’t will reap what they sow.

und3r-c0v3r · 2023-06-18T00:28:09+00:00

A guy who doesn't care about body count is either A a cuck B has no options or C a dumbass who doesn't understand statistics or how to vet people. If you wanted to hire 1 person for a job would you pick someone who went trough 38 jobs in the last year or someone who had 3 in the last 10? Would you pick someone you know has had significant issues in previous jobs? Would you pick a non functioning drug addict? ONS is one thing in that case the count doesn't really matter but If you have any intention of staying with that person you would need to be 1 of those three categories to not care that your future "wife" sucked 37 dicks.

milk-enjoyerr · 2023-06-17T22:12:17+00:00

Doesn't mind being a stay-at-home husband

Women don't want that

Likes to go 50/50 on dates and finances

Women don't want that either, he should always pay the fine dining first date, then maybe she can pay for a cheap McDonald's date or coffe another time

Does not get hung up on body count

For casual dating, sure

Seeks out successful career driven women

Never ever seen any guy care about a woman's career, not a single one (I know a handful of them exist somewhere)

Regularly emotionally vulnerable around his partner

Pussy drier behaviour

Wants a woman whose leadership he can follow some of the time

Pussy drier behaviour

A modern man, it seems have no chance for a success with women

RedBullfrog · 2023-06-19T08:33:48+00:00

I agree. Even though some of the points are not modern but been around for a long time. At least here in Europe.

Many here talk about equality. Equality is a myth. In every relation, friendship or relationship, there will be a part who is more dominating or in charge. The difference can be very small, but it is there.I think the big difference in modern and traditional men are that the modern man is fine having the woman be the dominating part. The "happy wife happy life" type of men.

Pathosgrim · 2023-06-17T21:13:13+00:00

Women don't usually want men with these traits though.

deznue · 2023-06-18T18:10:06+00:00

Modern man a pussy… the end.

TopG20233 · 2023-11-09T20:25:00+00:00

That sounds like the most disgusting man ever, a weak spineless beta male 😂. I'd fucking hate to be a anything like that

und3r-c0v3r · 2023-06-18T00:52:11+00:00

If you open up emotionally to your girlfriend/wife you fully deserve whatever she inevitably does with that information it will be used against you whenever it's convenient she will never look at you the same again you will become a unpaid housekeeper/atm machine hybrid in her eyes and once you have opened up there is no way to take that back. The only female human you should even consider opening up to Is your mother and even then that depends on what that relationship is like for you personally.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-06-17T21:13:07+00:00

Point 1 is mute,most modern men don't want or can be a stay at home dad.

Point 5&6 are also debatable: People of either gender that show constant emotional vulnerability are exhausting. Also,i don't think there is a leadership in a relationship.

itm4l2000 · 2023-06-17T21:40:36+00:00

Modern man is the type to hide behind his wife during a home invasion because he got used to being emasculated by his wife. His mind can't relate to his natural masculine traits because he let a hormonal, whimsical woman lead the relationship.

Women be very, very careful what you wish for.

FreakyStyley808 · 2023-06-18T01:19:10+00:00

The “body count” thing is so weird. Call me a modern man, but I like women who know what they’re doing, not frigid sex dolls.

throwawayVishot · 2023-06-17T21:03:03+00:00

Speaking as a Tradchad. They listen to what women say. And they marry women who are not virgins. Also they marry old women. The women leave the home. The women don't cook for them, instead they cook for the women.

Laugh break

They're not in charge in the marriage. The women talk back to them. No respect.

And the women eat whatever they want. I forgot that one.

Gundam_net · 2023-06-18T07:00:20+00:00

Narcissstic abuser if has money for rent or nice guy loser finishing last if does not have enough money for rent living with mom. There is no inbetween. Pick your poision, but personally if I was a girl I'd pick the nice guy loser.

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DerayRevan · 2023-06-17T21:16:13+00:00

Modern

LeeroyX · 2023-06-18T00:37:10+00:00

A modern, successful man is simply one that can process and adjust to their current environment. Has the capacity to seek and identify opportunity available to them and has the discipline and resilience to continue to create in such a way as to get the best out of what they can secure.

bsmith440 · 2023-06-18T00:50:41+00:00

More open minded

Furbyenthusiast · 2023-06-18T02:22:58+00:00

The top comment mentioned the positive definition of the modern man, so I'll offer the definition of the other kind.

Just as entitled, controlling, and abusive as their past counterparts, but without any of the skill, money, ability to provide, and often times appearance for them to reasonably expect even a quarter of what they're asking for. You'll find men who who work at Subway with inferior hygiene, personality, and often appearances yet expect traditional "virgins" who they can order around and treat like a fuck doll. Basically, the majority of red pill men.

Obviously, even if a man is rich, skilled, showers daily, and is handsome, he still isn't entitled to a slave- sorry, I mean wife. However, his expectations become even more unreasonable when he has such enormous expectations for women yet can barely function as a human being,

lotwbarryyd · 2023-06-18T02:38:41+00:00

Why would anybody not care about body count in the modern age.

shockedpikachu123 · 2023-06-18T02:58:09+00:00

this modern/traditional men talk are reserved for men who are chronically online. Thank God the men around me aren’t like this at all. People are just normal, they go to work and see their partner as their equal

puddingbike · 2023-06-18T03:37:12+00:00

I'm curious as to what differentiates a modern man from a traditional one.

So, if you're talking about two categories of contemporary men in the USA, the majority of both groups are overweight/obese pussies.

I'm thinking that a traditional man doesn't fit in very much with modern norms.

Sure they do. They completely fit into this society. Both categories do. They're not different from each other in a meaningful way.

Anxious_Adult123 · 2023-06-18T03:56:34+00:00

Regularly emotionally vulnerable around his partner

I personally don't this is really a good thing to do if you want the relationship to last. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying men should not open up. I really think men should have few friends with who they can open up and unload the emotional baggage. But be really careful to who you open up.

I had one relationship in the past and there when I opened up and showed my emotional side, I clearly noticed a change in her attitude towards me and not in a positive encouraging way to open up more. Since then I never really opened up. Same is the experience of a lot of my male friends.

A lot of women just plain neglect this saying we are lucky to dodge such women or we might have been too vulnerable. But I would reply this beautiful quote I read somewhere in response to above arguments "life experiences that you've never experienced are always mere stories for you"

This might be very controversial and I may get a lot of hate for it but I'm gonna say it anyway- IMHO, when women say about asking men to be emotionally vulnerable, it usually means two things. * To reassure her the he is emotionally comfortable with her and not because she is genuinely intrested in seeing his vulnerable side and be a support to this. * Also remind him in a subtle way to be sensitive and available to her emotional side.

So I think it's not really a great idea for guys to be regularly emotionally vulnerable. May be occasionally but not on regular basis.

neetykeeno · 2023-06-18T06:46:43+00:00

Takes responsibility for doing the traditionally female self maintenance in his life. For example monitoring and maintaining the appropriateness, availability, state of repair and cleanliness of his clothing. He would never end up in a situation where at 7.30 am he is petulantly complaining to his wife that all of his shirts are missing one or more buttons and he doesn't know what to do. When his wife who also works paid employment volunteers help with these things...for example if one day she does the laundry including a load of his shirts and then she's sewing on a button that came off his shirt....he doesn't regard that as his chance to cease doing all clothing associated responsibility, thinking and tasks, he regards it as a lovely gift he received that day from her.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-06-18T06:59:42+00:00

If a man has such qualities, where--if at all--does the tension then arise in terms of stimulating women's lizard brain primal desire and creating tingles? Are there hardwired aspects of women that somehow do not find this behavior sexually attractive in and of itself, even if it meets their other needs in life? Does this behavior somehow conflict with the nature of the kind of men that women do attractive such that there is going to be a negative correlation between a man who can meet the listed criteria and one who is also sexually exciting? Does acting like this somehow break the sexy part of a man, eroding that part of him women are truly attracted to, even if he had it to begin with?

I honestly don't know. Is there some way we can create an ideal of masculinity that provides these behaviors to women, but that also meets women's primal sexual attraction needs, and that works with male nature? Or are there some intractable tensions or even contradictions?

Fiestygirl000 · 2023-06-18T12:01:56+00:00

Doesn’t have basic hygiene. Doesn’t know how wash between the cheeks

iassureyouimreal · 2023-06-18T14:28:52+00:00

Modern man? A male feminist. They’re useless unless catered too and can’t live independently

Title	Describe the "modern man"
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	64
Comments	442
Date	June 17, 2023 8:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14c1hpj/describe_the_modern_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/describe-the-modern-man.1222646 https://theredarchive.com/post/1222646

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