If women are successfully hypergamous, shouldn’t men be upset and demand action from/against the few men benefitting rather than the multitude of women?

PrecisionHat · 2026-02-28T14:33:19+00:00

I don't think anyone is asking men or women to change anything regarding hypergamy. It's just very easy to point out it's real and happening at large and that, given women are in the best position they've ever been in and really don't depend on men anymore, it doesn't make much sense. Some may use it to back up claims about Evo psych and basic female nature. Which makes others angry, of course.

RP guys just try to work within the system that they find themselves in and try to be less of a doormat within it.

anonymousppd123123 · 2026-02-28T15:24:01+00:00

the usa wont even arrest the people involved in a kiddy diddling kompromat ring intended to subvert control of the country to a foreign power. We have another rape/murder ring setting "pop culture" for the last 30 years most of the members of which are still on the tv. And you think demanding action on anything 200 steps less damaging than that is going to be productive?

yes - we know the men in charge are the other players in the game

Jetpine9 · 2026-02-28T17:54:32+00:00

One difference: the 20% of men aren't complaining, the 80% of women generally are. I say generally; some are not. Some women will admit that things are actually pretty good in the dating world for them. But most women on here will swear that dating for women is the worst thing that could happen to a person.

So, what do you change? The happy person or the sad person?

The argument is: should women learn new skills to navigate relationships and dating VS Women already have all the skills they need, it's the rest of the world that's fucked up.

No-Buy7459 · 2026-02-28T14:16:04+00:00

That wont do much. evidence: woman would rather stay single than marry average guys.

DietTyrone · 2026-02-28T17:14:40+00:00

It would make a lot of sense for me that if you believe 80% of women only date 20% of men, or something like that, and a few successful men have harems of multiple women.

Lol, good luck with that. Most of the women these guys date/hookup with can't get them to change, and you think random guys they don't give a shit about will accomplish that?

Ultimately, a free country means everyone gets to make their own choices. If that 20% of men are getting everything they want and content, but a good portion of the 80% of women are online complaining about being in situationships, getting used for sex, or overall discontent with the results they've been getting, who do you think more likely needs to change what they're doing? Spoiler alert, the group getting everything they want have zero incentives to change what they're doing.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-03-01T05:29:21+00:00

Well at the end of the day its still women making that decision. Men cant legally have harems if women were against being a part of them. So, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to be mad at the men for trying to get a good setup, that most men would love to have.

So, they are typically going to avoid going after the men, even though some men do. Usually, the ones that do are the ones that are quite religious that believe in other men following what they believe in, so will talk down on others which includes these types of men. Also I suppose men that are jealous can do so as well.

caption291 · 2026-02-28T15:41:16+00:00

Why do men who believe in hypergamy generally ask many multiples of women to pick better rather than ask alpha men to be happy with just one partner?

It's not necessarily easier to control a smaller percentage of the population. If 20% of the population is heavily incentivized/really wants to do something, getting them to not do it is going to be a lot harder than getting 80% of the population to stop doing something they aren't as strongly incentivized to do and don't care about doing as much.

It's similar to how Stopping 99% of people from murdering others is easier than stopping that last 1%.

It would be better (for nearly everyone) if women and average men met in the middle and just made reasonable compromises that work for as many people as possible even if sometimes they aren't "fun" compromises. Obviously that's not working because women keep refusing to meet in the middle but that just means men will eventually stop trying.
you can do both.

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-02-28T21:43:41+00:00

There is no convincing either, both are getting what they want.

Jip_Jaap_Stam · 2026-02-28T14:40:50+00:00

It's not the actual act itself that's an issue, for me. If attractive men are in demand, it's only natural that they capitalise. And women looking for the most desirable male partners is understandable.

The problem lies in how women react to the consequences.

When chasing good looking men and failing to secure commitment, instead of accepting they're playing a game they're unlikely to win, they complain about the men who use them. Plus they attribute the way said men behave to all men, rather than admitting it's only elite men who are involved.

Then, after they tire of this game, too many women settle for lesser men. Because it's convenient, because it's more comfortable, because it's less lonely, because they want children or a father figure for their existing children. Alpha widows are a lot more common than people think and can be created by a handful of failed alpha-securing episodes. They don't make good wives/long term partners. They nag, they're frigid, they're distant, and they'll never respect or truly desire the consolation prize they accepted. And they'll never accept they're the problem; it's always the man not doing enough chores, or excess emotional labour, or emotional unavailability.

The dual mating strategy is what bothers me. Men don't want to be a fallback option, and they don't want to be treated like a fallback option.

Outrageous-Floor-424 · 2026-02-28T16:23:46+00:00

Because women bestow status upon men, we are in competition to impress them and they get to chose, bestowing as I said status upon men.

It's not possible then for these lower status men to shame high status men into changing their behaviour.

If it was, I'd agree with your premise, but the power imbalance makes that impossible. Imagine 20 incels trying to shame Channing Tatum into sleeping with fewer women. Why would he care?

CelicnisGhost · 2026-02-28T17:01:24+00:00

Yes, I am upset and would like it changed.

I know I myself cannot change it, and women would be the first to push back against going back to the better time when only 1 parent worked and was able to maintain a family.

Only thing you as a solitary man can do is become the alpha.

Give me a magic wand that makes it possible for me to do anything, and I will do what you asked.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-02-28T14:29:26+00:00

I want to add a second point. The ultimate issue is that a society needs a functioning mating and child creation and raising paradigm. It seems monogamy is it since I see no equally functional replacement.

So in some ways it is a systems problem and shouldn't be about blaming anyone. Everyone, man or woman, loses if society fails.

Hypergamy is pointing at something real, but not in love with any of the current articulations of what it is. I also don't think it is some fixed 80/20. I also think the issue of women sharing chad, or fucking up and that is why they won't marry what they can actually get, is overstated. If Chad is somehow kept to one sex partner, it could easily be that the lower smv women he fucks occasionally will just not fuck or marry anyone then if they don't find the men they can land sufficiently attractive.

The type dynamic is often overstated, but still quite real. Yes, there is a lot of convergence on what women like, but that tends to be in high SMV men. What might actually be happening is that since women may not be attracted to that many men at their own SMV-rank level, the ones they can actually land, then they NEED to sample a lot of men their level to find their type. Being able to find their type is what enables mid-SMV women to be able to desire mid-SMV men. At least this is one theory to consider.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2026-02-28T16:32:24+00:00

No, because men don't believe that other people are obligated to sacrifice on their behalf just because they exist.

Men also tend to believe in the concept of human beings having agency, in that women have the capacity to choose who they want to be with, rather than being dependent on men to decide for them.

nightcall379 · 2026-02-28T16:45:08+00:00

That you would try to change the few men rather than the many women.

Because men don't want to be with women who don't want to be with them

Why do men who believe in hypergamy generally ask many multiples of women to pick better

That's a lie you people make up to misrepresent the opposing argument

No one's asking women to pick better

Men are asking women to stop telling lies about their nature and what they're actually attracted to, and then using those lies to manipulate, exploit, and abuse men

This would solve hypergamy assuming we’re roughly 50-50 men and women.

So your solution to this problem is to force women to be with men they don't love? Lmao

Barely-moral · 2026-02-28T14:08:30+00:00

Men tend to like the idea of people that are better than others getting better results than others.

You know. Meritocracy.

IgorXY · 2026-02-28T13:55:32+00:00

Same reason why I am not upset with fast food, alcohol, drugs, but upset with people who abuse these things.

DzejSiDi · 2026-02-28T14:45:42+00:00

80% of women only date 20% of men

Not correct, more like 80% of women are competing for 20% of the guys, but are dating are less strict and women are with "temporary boyfriends", "plan B" and so on.

That you would try to change the few men rather than the many women. Why do men who believe in hypergamy generally ask many multiples of women to pick better rather than ask alpha men to be happy with just one partner? This would solve hypergamy assuming we’re roughly 50-50 men and women.

You don't understand hypergamy and you don't understand this process. If attractive guy would say "no", women won't magically stop become attracted to him and switch to average guy. I have yet to see data showing that "soft harems" are popular, it's more like women are cautiously orbiting those guys while being either single or with someone else.

And how exactly mentioned men should act in your opinion to stop this process? Be rude to any other girl nice to you if you're dating someone? Being neutral won't stop subtle flirting and so on. "I am dating someone" won't stop most of those women, it would make him a bit less attractive if he was single to be honest.

wtknight · 2026-02-28T14:38:52+00:00

Probably because heterosexual men don't date other men, so they don't have to live with the men who are acting promiscuously. It's easier to blame the women whom they do have to live with.

Frankly, I don't care if women want to behave promiscuously. Those women just shouldn't expect me to want a relationship with them when they decide they want to behave non-promiscuously someday. When a man behaves promiscuously, it affects me personally much less, even though I do not agree with their decisions either.

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Independent-Mail-227 · 2026-02-28T23:14:33+00:00

How do you change someone that suffer 0 consequences for their behavior? In fact, how are you going to change someone whose behavior are highly rewarded?

shadowrangerfs · 2026-03-01T14:55:02+00:00

Isn't that what women are asking from those men?

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-02-28T14:35:58+00:00

This is because the girl(s) lament to the sexless beta about how they ‘just want a good man’ while they hook up with ‘Chad’. This is more hypocritical than ‘Chad’s behavior, therefore the women get the blame.

Objectively I get what you’re saying though, if we excuse women because ‘hypergamy tho’ then some of the blame should be on ‘Chad’ yet ‘Chad’ still remains the idol.

Chad does have a really cool car though so…

Nard_Bard · 2026-02-28T20:25:27+00:00

Chuds don't ever speak to Chad's, that's why. Online or off.

And Chad's are also not engaging on gender war debate forums on a Saturday nights....

They are in bars or sports...being Chad's.

And you are here listening to and trying to reason with the Chud's.

Because you are a female chud.

But female chud's still fuck.

It's all just chud on chud violence, really.

Welcome to my Ted Talk.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-02-28T13:52:07+00:00

This is how it was done. Socially (and often to some extent legally) enforced monogamy. But not sure how many men or women in 2026 are into that--current enforcement is at an all-time low and dropping.

Plus, women complained at the double standard: powerful men tended to find ways to get around it to some extent, though enforcement kept that in check to varying degrees. It is pretty hard to police the most powerful people in a society and for various reasons those tend to be men. This would still be the case.

It would be less of a double standard now, though, because one of the main reasons women were policed more strongly is pregnancy: couldn't hide the promiscuity if you got pregnant. Now you can avoid getting knocked up.

Otjahe · 2026-02-28T14:32:10+00:00

Truths men online tend to forget:

1: Most dudes in relationships are avarage

2: You don’t have to choose between being a hyper masculine alpha guy with zero empathy or intelligence & a compassionate and intelligent soyboy that isn’t masculine enough.

You can be both. BE masculine just remove ALL the toxic masculinity parts. Take the best uses of both stereotypical men. That way the woman gets the absolute best of both worlds, and you’re miles above average and even above the top tier.

But noooooo, ofc it’s more comfortable and easy to sit online all day and talk with other men about how bad women are and that you’re forever alone bla bla bla.

Just look at the "average male height" sub Reddit, that shit is pure comedy

kartu3 · 2026-02-28T20:29:03+00:00

What "few men benefiting" lol?

Are there harems or something? :D

Also... it is like demanding someone to stop being homosexual.

WorkingPermission633 · 2026-03-01T00:03:29+00:00

Both are bad actually

Popeoath · 2026-03-08T21:03:30+00:00

Why do men who believe in hypergamy generally ask many multiples of women to pick better

Because women have more complaints about about being used for sex/cheated on/etc. than the men benefitting do.

If women didn't complain then they wouldn't be addressed. Obviously, if you're successful, you don't need to change anything.

rather than ask alpha men to be happy with just one partner

We tried that back in the religious days. Feminists said no. There is no other method to convince alpha males to live that way.
They have literally no incentive to change preferences in the modern social environment.
Why would they listen to less successful men? That is like the loser of the game telling the winner to hold back. Other men do not have anything to offer more successful men.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2026-03-01T19:15:46+00:00

men who date multiple women don't complain about their situation. women who date these men often do.

i don't care about what people do in their personal lives but you're not going to convince someone to do something for your benefit, against their own self-interest.

statsfodder · 2026-02-28T17:59:56+00:00

Ever heard of incels?? They cry a whole bunch about this topic and nothing has changed.

NuclearDoctrine · 2026-03-01T04:27:34+00:00

You're one of the few sensible people whom understands this. Men are the gate keepers of this sexual paradigm and the current order could end over night.

The answer to your question is that men have historically done this. Marriage has always been a restriction placed on higher men collectively by lower men. It's not a coincidence that every civilization that has ever existed arrived at this male sexual union that imposed rules internally on men.

The action you're demanding is called Enforced Monogamy. It's remarkably simple. Let assortative mating happen as it naturally does. The top men will still get the top women.

The only caveats are: No sex before marriage. No no-fault divorce. Those two simple rules solve everything without violating anyone's freedom.

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