Men dont deserve sympathy

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-05-23T03:29:56+00:00

Your post has been removed for being a rant.

FortheHellofit43 · 2025-05-21T16:45:30+00:00

This feels like a projection of deeper insecurities or misunderstandings.

Re-Clue2401 · 2025-05-21T15:24:03+00:00

These pill communities are weird. All of you, go outside and talk to real people ffs.

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-05-22T00:22:42+00:00

Reported for sexism

EugeneCezanne · 2025-05-21T22:59:06+00:00

Because casual sex isnt a very important part of life

Every one of us gets to decide what's important in life. Actually, "decide" isnt even the right word. Importance is felt, not reasoned. It comes from our core values and our emotional experience. As such, they are pre-intellectual and virtually any answer is as valid as any other.

For example, having children is extremely important to most people's lives. It is of literally zero importance to mine. No amount of reasoning is going to change the fact that just dont feel it.

Casual sex is some importance to me. It's one of my favorite things, and therefore contributes greatly to my overall sense of wellbeing and of living a fine life!

However, I dont think casual sex is the root of most guy's complaints. I think they're suffering from the long term psychological effects of frequent rejection—for which casual sex is just a superficially appealing treatment option. Seeing other men obtain it easily is just a catalyst. A lot of those guys would actually love to find a long-term relationship with a woman they admire. Though, to be clear, I dont think either desire is more valid or laudable than the other.

Thientertainer · 2025-05-21T15:42:23+00:00

Bro, get a grip and fucking talk to people outside of your customer base. You have this incredibly bitter worldview, because you surround yourself with literal trash and now you let these frustrations and delusions out on everyone else.

Become higher class and higher class people will be part of your life.

luckforeveryone · 2025-05-21T15:08:50+00:00

Women don't deserve sympathy.

Because their biggest problem in life is that they cant get Chad to commit to them. And if that's their biggest problem in life its a very small problem. Because commitment isn't a very important part of life. All these women want to do is boost their own ego and cum. A selfish endeavor really.

What you may think when women say they're struggling in dating: oh she's looking for a loving long term relationship and good men aren't giving her a fair chance!

What is actually happening: Why wont these chads commit to me like they do the hot ladies?

So when you hear women complain about dating, dating apps, men in general, 'failing to pin down chad' epidemic that's what they really are complaining about. They also dont like the harsh reality that no they're not special and chads aren't going to flock to them.

Even radfems put up the image that they want "traditional men" to date. Then they realize they can't compete with younger women and become spinsters.

All women complaining and making it seem like they're hard done by are really just dramatic whingers.

Icyfemboy · 2025-05-21T15:08:49+00:00

So somehow it’s not sexism or bigotry or generalisations when you reverse genders?

West_Inspection_4977 · 2025-05-21T15:09:26+00:00

LOL where did you come up with this idea of this being men’s “biggest problem?”

Casual sex is not what we are complaining about when complaining about dating, apps, etc. I’m sure it’s a small percentage, just because 80/20 philosophy in dating and casual does hurt when things equalize and people start to settle down and date, but no one is saying casual sex is the big problem. No one.

Who hurt you? Who’s really the dramatic “whinger” here?

EDIT: I mistakenly said “NOONE” is doing this. As a kind redditor pointed out, one unhinged person on Reddit did say something pretty F’d up and obviously it means all men and that my “no one” statement makes my point completely invalid…

Actually, I’m going to round down and stick to “no one” considering how soooo few people it is.

Emotional_Meal748 · 2025-05-22T00:09:39+00:00

I love how we don’t talk about “equality” anymore. So 2000s

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-05-21T15:23:30+00:00

It's the part where they claim "I don't want to settle for less just because she's older or has a child" when she is also settling for less, since he's nearly always asocial to antisocial, has gaming or porn habits, is embittered, wildly controlling and envious of more sexually successful or attractive men.

And will forever and always be gawking at attractive women and slobbering over porn or attractive coworkers/classmates vacation pics.

That's the thing men here refuse to admit: that no matter where she is in life, if she chooses a man with massive social or emotional problems, bad habits or grifter programming: she's has far more to lose, and he isn't settling.

AnxiousPeggingSlut · 2025-05-21T15:32:52+00:00

You are listening way too much to what the loudest voices say and thinking all men are like that.

I’d wager most are simply heartbroken over emotional loneliness rather than just fucking.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-05-21T18:56:02+00:00

Time to step off this sub for a while, because while it can seem that way if you’re going by what men say here, most men’s biggest problem is definitely… not that. It’s trying to survive in this economy, same as women’s biggest problem.

So no, I don’t have sympathy for the guys whining about the “male loneliness crisis” while talking about women like pieces of meat or property they’re entitled to. But I’m not going to say I “don’t have sympathy for men” in general.

ChickenSand32 · 2025-05-21T15:13:29+00:00

Jesus Christ haha

GloeSticc · 2025-05-21T15:49:29+00:00

It's true that men generally are motivated by physical features. Obviously, they aren't brainless monsters that that only want to "boost their own ego and cum." I could strawman a woman's motivation in the exact same way. They're people, just like you: with desires, fears, and concerns. What I suspect is that men need SOO much more from women than women need from men. I guarentee that most of them need the emotional support and affection, even if it's not obvious. It's a need for them, and if it's not being met, that can cause the complaining and projecting.

I will agree that women have no responsibility to ensure these men gets their needs met. A lot of them are incompetent, mean, and emotionally absent, which is a direct result of their environment and circumstances. A lot of these guys, unfortunately, will never get their needs met and will continue to lash out at the world and women.

Speaking from my perspective as a young man that can somewhat relate to these men, I was lucky to have been raised in an environment where I was encouraged to talk about my emotions. Looking at my peers, they aren't doing great. They aren't happy, they're becoming radicalized, and they're becoming bitter towards the other gender for not accepting them. But why? Why can't they just be happy on their own? I think men would be happy on their own, if they had options. The option to talk about their feelings, the option to receive attention, the option to process all of the negativity that stems from the bitter loneliness and feelings of incompetence. Do women have all of those things? Usually not. But they usually understand and deal with those emotions in a constructive way. I don't see that from men as often.

OppositeBeautiful601 · 2025-05-21T18:02:35+00:00

This is a stupid debate, with a very dehumanizing premise.

Anon_cat86 · 2025-05-21T19:58:36+00:00

why is wanting sex considered selfish? The woman gets to have sex too, it's equal. It's not "giving you their body" any more than the man is giving her his body.

"oh but she probably won't come" so you're blaming the guy for biologically having a higher sex drive than women but women aren't at all at fault for being harder to pleasure than men?

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Ok_Use7 · 2025-05-21T15:56:29+00:00

I think some do. I see two sides to the issue.

On one hand, the male loneliness epidemic dudes that I know biggest problem is that they can’t get multiple hot women to have casual sex with them. That’s been their goal since college and they haven’t succeeded yet as they approach their 30s.

They want to be like the guys they see in rom coms and real life and have rotations of their own but they can’t and it’s frustrating.

I don’t think those dudes deserve sympathy. I can’t even be friends with them honestly, they’re annoying as fuck. Literal cry babies who blames everybody else for their problems.

On the other hand, you have dudes who are genuinely interested in exploring casual sex but for whatever reasons can’t. This is where I relate, as a teen I just wanted experiences to learn what I like and need, never made it anyone’s problem. Never even got frustrated over it really. These are the dudes I think deserve sympathy.

If they’re not making it anyone’s else’s problem, aren’t frustrated, aren’t constantly berating women online, I think they’re fine and have my sympathy.

Casual sex can help you grown and learn. Experience is the best teacher.

You got dudes constantly bitching about not getting it even though they pretend they don’t chase casual sex. And you got dudes who want to it, haven’t achieved it yet but don’t complain. There’s nuance among the madness and I don’t think it’s all that difficult to decipher which sides a dude stands based on how they present themselves.

JohnaldJr21 · 2025-05-21T16:23:59+00:00

First off as a man I do not want to have casual sex with anyone. I’m looking for the right person to build a life with. If we aren’t compatible outside the bedroom then I don’t want to do anything with you in the bedroom.

I agree that men don’t deserve sympathy but a major talking point on this sub is how it’s unfair for women to (in some cases be forced) to have sex with someone they don’t find attractive.

The same should hold true to men. Women can’t control their preferences. Neither can men.

If you want better opportunities in dating, work on yourself and become more valuable to the people you want to attract.

G4M35 · 2025-05-21T16:50:11+00:00

/u/bot-sleuth-bot

7186997326 · 2025-05-21T17:50:41+00:00

No one deserves "sympathy" when it comes to dating and relationships. You get what you get and you don't get upset. No one can force anyone else fall in love with them.

Spare-Concern-4593 · 2025-05-22T01:25:43+00:00

Men don’t deserve sympathy huh. Mental

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-05-22T08:55:27+00:00

This kinda of deluded, emotion-driven reasoning may drive many males. But there is an underlying argument that the dating game has changed and the women who are of comparable mate value rank among women won't go for their male counterparts anymore. And that this has changed dramatically over the past two decades.

If that argument is decisively disproven, then i think the other shit mostly goes away. It's obviously irrational for the average dude to think he should ever expect or be owed tons of NSA sex with girls way above his league.

Logos1789 · 2025-05-22T20:24:02+00:00

You would be right…if other men weren’t enjoying precisely what they want. It’s only an issue because men see others getting it. If everyone were in the same boat, then it wouldn’t feel nearly as bad.

Kanenas_T_Potas · 2025-05-23T02:22:58+00:00

Perhaps the men you interact with on a regular basis are just looking for casual sex, but many men are not.

You say that 50% of the world's population deserves no sympathy because the people you interact with are shit doesn't mean that 50% of the world population is shit.

It means you happen to filter and attract people who are mostly looking for casual sex.

You have the same problem that many redpillers: you value a set of things that are valued by shitty people, attract those shitty people into your life and then generalize it.

If everyone was 100% sex obsessed and actively looked just for casual sex, LTRs and marriages that last over 20 years would not be a thing.

isuckthemtoes · 2025-05-21T16:56:29+00:00

You're not even referring to "men" in general with these accusations. Only Chad does these things you describe. Since you only see Chad, and the bottom 90% of men are invisible to you (and most women), you assume that's "all men".

Next-Movie-3319 · 2025-05-21T15:25:34+00:00

lol who is really the dramatic whinger here?

JohnaldJr21 · 2025-05-21T16:05:24+00:00

Truth be told I don’t want casual sex. I want to find someone to build a life with. But yeah you’re right. I’m not special. I’m just another dude. It’s why I would rather work on myself and wait to find the right person rather than forcing a relationship with someone with the wrong person.

TransportationLow564 · 2025-05-21T16:31:07+00:00

This is nonsense.

In reality, most men have perfectly good / acceptable relationships with women (and vice-versa). A small but vocal subset of men have problems -- vocal both in the sense that they carry on a lot online, as well as in the sense that the media and other factions on the internet belly-ache about them constantly. All of which adds up to making the problem seem worse than what it is.

Most men aren't incels or redpillers. Most incels or redpillers don't pose a danger to society. You get the idea.

I also disagree with characterizing these men's problems as "not being able to find lots of young women to have casual sex with." In many cases we're dealing with men who, in the incel community, have NEVER had (and probably never WILL have) a romantic or sexual relationship, causing them to suffer from crippling loneliness, not to mention whatever other mental health problems put them in the position of being so catastrophically socially inept in the first place. With redpillers, you're dealing with men who've had a really, really bad experience with a woman -- maybe losing everything he owns, or losing custody of his kids, in a divorse or something like that. They've got a lot of anger and bitterness, and the redpillers give them a chance to vent that, as well as giving them all sorts of pseudo-philosophical justifications for it.

FathomArtifice · 2025-05-21T19:21:07+00:00

"And if that's their biggest problem in life its a very small problem."

Very big if

Alarmed_Load8145 · 2025-05-21T15:10:06+00:00

You're making the assumption that all men are sex-obsessed fiends, and thus, when they complain about dating apps, it must be because they are not getting sex. You are ignoring the fact that some of these men are complaining because they cannot find a woman to build a relationship with. The very title of this post indicates why the dating world is doomed and reflects the fact that the gap in understanding and empathy between men and women is becoming less of a gap and more of a chasm. Do you really expect men who are not as motivated as they used to be to go flocking to women when they read posts titled "Men don't deserve sympathy?" What the title of this post also does is that it serves as confirmation to the widespread sentiment that men cannot air their grievances without being insulted or shut down, i.e., you don't deserve any sympathy. I am also ready to bet that the women who will comment on this post will say things like "preach", "you go, girl!" I suspect you all then turn around, saying, "Why are men disappearing from the dating field?" Can't make this up. This post pretty much confirms that we live in an era in which men are, by and large, better off being alone than seeking company from a gender who, it is quite clear, has developed a deep-seated resentment for men, and subsequently gets all befuddled as to why they aren't getting attention from anyone but assholes. Pot calling the kettle black.

Gravel_Roads · 2025-05-21T17:19:55+00:00

Because their biggest problem in life is that they cant get multiple hot young women to have casual sex with them.

There are bigger problems in men's lives than not getting laid. People, individually, will see what they want to see. If this is the only problem you SEE men having, it says more about you than anything else.

I say it repeatedly but all of these positions would be fine if they just used the word "some".

Some men don't deserve sympathy. Some women don't deserve sympathy. Some men absolutely deserve sympathy. Some women absolutely deserve sympathy.

See? Fixed.

attendquoi · 2025-05-21T15:32:59+00:00

I agree, but not for the stated reason. I only consider anything involving sex to be an actual problem if it's an issue of consent. So unless a man's complaints about sex involve him being SAed or harassed, he doesn't have an actual problem worth sympathizing with.

flutterybuttery58 · 2025-05-21T15:05:06+00:00

Preach!

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2025-05-21T15:17:35+00:00

Right...its not like men work over 40 hours a week, can't take a sick day ever, not even for a "headache", pays your bills, pays you child support, sometimes for kids that aren't even his, puts up with your silly mind reading games, and actually has to be responsibile.

TheCultOfGrogg · 2025-05-21T21:05:58+00:00

This might upset you, but with how disloyal and prone to break up families modern women are, I actually think men should entertain as many women as they can. If as a woman, you’re going to be fickle, dodgy, and emotional, all a guy is doing is minimizing risk by talking to other women. Basically, if you can’t be the one pillar to lean on, don’t be mad when other pillars start popping up.

Women so badly want loyalty but don’t want to give it.

Dapper-Suggestion462 · 2025-05-21T15:08:59+00:00

They need reality check and they have to stop bullying themselves and others by quoting previous generations.

Guess what, the past doesn’t exist.

They just need to update their operating systems.

We all know what happens to old model of OS.

We all are kind of machines ffs….

But i do think passport bros can do whatever they like. At least they are capable of love and acceptance, they are loving some women in some part of the world. I am rooting for them if that’s what they want.

ViolentShallot · 2025-05-21T15:34:47+00:00

Because their biggest problem in life is that they cant get multiple hot young women to have casual sex with them.

One of my best friends is really, really low. He suffered extensive abuse since he was a little kid, his mother won't ever get parent of the year. His social skills are rather impacted, mostly because of being afraid of women.

He's a great guy. Doing med school, brilliant, funny, sincere. In many ways pure.

And he's fucking alone. His one relationship in almost 25 years vanished one day, and now he's really fucking struggling. He mostly wants to find one person to share his life with.

I wouldn't say that loneliness problem boils down to "not being able to get multiple hot young women to have casual sex with them."

Now, I understand where you're coming with. You're a prostitute. You hold extensive contact, sexual and otherwise, with the lowest scum of humanity. But you might want to get the humility to understand that your skewed point of view isn't anywhere near universally applicable.

G4M35 · 2025-05-21T16:35:28+00:00

Men dont deserve sympathy Because their biggest problem in life is that they cant get multiple hot young women to have casual sex with them.

Yup! ALL men are exactly like that!

Gold_Sheepherder6569 · 2025-05-21T16:48:59+00:00

Most men have more problems in their life than casual sex, such as trying to get a job, housing crisis, studying for tests and exams, stressful workload etc. I also think that while men enjoy casual stuff most men do want to be in a relationship and if you are an average looking male you will struggle to get one(although you will eventually find one) but if you are below average you are pretty much screwed unless you get money

Puzzleheaded_ghost · 2025-05-21T15:36:44+00:00

I'm sorry, you are just projecting. I have loads of options and I still fight for the incels. I empathize with them and have devoted myself to standing up against bullies like you.

Ive gotten used to the options. I try to understand. When someone cries in your face, that lives with you. You don't get it. Really. I'm offended. I'm a 6/10 now, still pulling like a PUA without being one. The skills and confidence you learn in your younger years stick. Sympathy for victims is not always selfish. Really, I don't believe this.

Really. Why would you date someone who says they don't need you?

Continue rejecting them like the chads that use you. You're doing them a favor.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-21T16:31:51+00:00

Many don’t, especially the ones who say they are lonely when they mean sexless

Whether that is prevalent, I can’t say

DoctorButtocks · 2025-05-21T16:49:40+00:00

Men are built to crave sex more with a variety of partners. Nobody chose to be male, and society was structured to beat this innate desire out of them regardless of how heavily it persists through the domestication process.

ExcelsiorState718 · 2025-05-21T19:07:54+00:00

Men dont deserve sympathy Some do,it's a case by case basis

Because their biggest problem in life is that they cant get multiple hot young women to have casual sex with them.

Everybody wants to feel wanted and desired.

And if that's their biggest problem in life its a very small problem. Living your whole life unwanted and undesired is a big problem even women complain about that theyre called femcels.

Because casual sex isnt a very important part of life.

I doubt anyone would agree with that sex is a biological imperative almost like eating and going without it probably leads to physical and mental health issues.

All these men want to do is boost their own ego and cum. A selfish endeavor really.

You don't know what they want unless you're a mind reader.

What you may think when men say they're struggling in dating: oh he's looking for a loving long term relationship and women aren't giving him a fair chance!

Men who say that are,and women don't give them a fair chance,they have 1000 diffrent criteria for rejecting a man.

What is actually happening: Why wont these hoes fuck me like they do the hot guys?

No ones saying that because they can just pay the hoes.

So when you hear men complain about dating, dating apps, women in general, loneliness epidemic that's what they really are complaining about. They also dont like the harsh reality that no they're not special and women aren't going to flock to them and give you their bodies for no reason.

Meanwhile they flock to abusers, convicts,serial killers deadbeat dads,kids,Chad's that just fck them and don't care about them.Married men,then they get on social media crying about it wanting sympathy.

Even passport bros put up the image that they want "traditional women" to date. Then they go over seas and are just sex tourist whores.

Two things can be true,but men can't be whores.

All men complaining and making it seem like they're hard done by are really just dramatic whingers.

Complaining about what exactly? Sometimes I complain about the weather especially during hurricane season so am I be dramatic?

Title	Men dont deserve sympathy
Author	Glowupgirl111
Upvotes	0
Comments	322
Date	May 21, 2025 3:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1krzzuj/men_dont_deserve_sympathy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-dont-deserve-sympathy.1552756 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552756

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