Why does it seem like only in pill communities are men failing with women?

holmesksp1 · 2026-01-05T12:54:34+00:00

It's a combination of the fact that the other people who are failing are either not talking about it, and observation bias. I know plenty of people who are not in a pill community who are struggling with connection. If you think it's just association with a pill community, I suspect you're just spending a lot of time in pill communities.

The fact that someone is in a pill community, means that they are so tired of it that they are verbally speaking up, But it doesn't mean that Joe schmo is not suffering even though he doesn't identify with a pill

The-Devilz-Advocate · 2026-01-05T18:03:44+00:00

In pill communities, there is constant talk of how 60% of young Gen z men are single and how women are dating older or richer or higher status. Yet, when I leave my house, I see the same familiar sight every day. Men who are less attractive, short, poorly dressed with attractive women.

Considering that women tend to vastly over-rate their own attractiveness and their female peers, I'd be willing to bet that it's not as clear cut as you make it.

Specially when women tend to artificially inflate their ratings by thinking that their "best" AKA caked up in makeup, shape wear etc is the same as a guy that won the Greek adonis gene lottery.

DzejSiDi · 2026-01-05T18:14:44+00:00

I remember, almost everyone had a partner, fertility rate was over 2.0, but one day one evil guy decided to found TRP and then it spread like a wildfire. Whoever started reading it became unsuccessful with women, heck, even dads with 2-3 children got divorced and turned again into virgins.

You're the guy that thinks dieticians create fat people, because you mostly see out of shape people being clients there? Yeah, I mean, you can find fat people everywhere, but clearly they're overrepresented there.

leosandlattes · 2026-01-05T12:58:51+00:00

Men who join TRP are typically dissatisfied with their dating lives. You don’t really become red pilled if everything is going perfectly. It quite literally is for “average frustrated chumps” (the term used on TRP). Though sometimes you see men join TRP or PPD just because it scratches some itch for curiosity about human sexuality.

ViolentShallot · 2026-01-05T12:56:45+00:00

"How come my massively biased, tiny, personal anecdotes contradict studies and statistics"

Come on.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2026-01-05T19:57:37+00:00

When you ask blue-pilled men to describe their relationships and marriages, they are essentially just an endless series of actions taken to placate their wives and often the larger group of people around them. "Happy wife happy life" is an ideology that they worship more devoutly than their religions.

Some men have the motivation to get up every day and live for someone else's fantasies. The ones who don't are the ones who end up finding the red pill, where they ironically learn to do the same thing, but just with less effort.

JustSomeRandomGuy36 · 2026-01-05T13:50:56+00:00

I wonder how much you are underestimating the attractiveness of the men and overestimating the attractiveness of the women in these familiar sights you describe. Rarely I see a couple where the woman is better looking than the man.

Even if this were the case, what you see is not telling of the whole picture. The woman will be aware that she could do much better and the guy is replaceable to her, so she will give him poor treatment. You are taking it at face value.

Gen Z men are aware of this dynamic, they know they are likely replaceable to most Gen Z women so they are not putting themselves in these situations.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-01-05T13:36:19+00:00

I genuinely found my success once I engaged within the redpill community. Before that I was the hapless autistic virgin. That's why the community is popular.

There are plenty of virgins and incels across all political and social spheres, the only difference is that feminist, leftie males tend to be less vocal about their woes or they rationalise how they're so much better than the big bad incel.

Unattractive people in relationships doesn't prove or disapprove anything - they could be partnered up with their looksmatch or in the sexless "betabux" situation. It's the Chads and high-tier men that live that complete separate reality from most other dudes.

Zabadoodude · 2026-01-05T16:50:06+00:00

If all these unattractive guys are with atttactive women, then what are the unattractive women doing? Are they dating men much more atttactive then themselves? Do you think there is a female loneliness epidemic? Or do you just rate average women as atttactive and average men as unattractive. My guess is that last one.

There's plenty of single bluepill guys struggling to date out there, but if you go to niche online communities of people discussing dating you will find a disproportionate number of people that are struggling and looking for alternative answers to what hasn't worked for them already.

LofiStarforge · 2026-01-05T14:45:18+00:00

The compounding factor in all of these things is neuroticism. It’s pretty difficult to be engaged in life and not stumble into a romantic relationship.

Every post on this subreddit from an involuntary single man or woman is just neuroticism posting. Social media consumption itself is highly correlated with trait neuroticism.

I’m honestly quite shocked at how normal looking most male incels or involuntary single guys are. Hell there’s one guy in my close social circle group who is not married or in relationship and he’s 6’2 lifts and would be considered attractive. Just has always been painfully neurotic.

Popeoath · 2026-01-05T16:56:35+00:00

If you were doing fine with women already then you wouldn't need pills.

TRP mostly serves as corrective advice for dudes who women don't like.

This is like asking why there's so many sick people at the hospital.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-01-05T23:37:43+00:00

May seem that way but many men are currently and you just don’t know it. The loneliness epidemic has been a thing within many different communities for years now, so its definitely not just some RP thing. Which I’m guessing is what you are mainly saying. Since bp is basically the normie stuff anyway, so your post is likely RP focused.

kvakerok_v2 · 2026-01-06T01:59:58+00:00

Self-selection bias. Those of us actually getting laid and in relationships tend to focus on those.

AscendingRogue · 2026-01-07T08:15:16+00:00

I work a weird job where there happens to be a lot of people dating each other (it's a very large workplace). Over the years I have watched a lot of drama. Just because there are lots of relationships, that doesn't mean they are high quality ones. Both men and women are paying one another while having the emotional intelligence of a six year old despite the fact that they are all well into adulthood. Like, yes, I get that there are men who are failing despite actively trying, but one of the effects of being pilled is that you're able to see relationship bullshit from a mile away and that causes less relationships.

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-01-05T13:52:12+00:00

A lot of dudes are checked out. How do I know? Women are so mad about it that you’ll see a story about it roughly once a week. When something social breaks media containment, you know the ladies are big mad.

N_Count_Council · 2026-01-05T23:16:02+00:00

what a dumb attempt at a gotcha

Of course they're struggling, that's why these dudes turned to TRP in the first place, the standard bluepill advice wasn't doing shit for them.

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Samual-B · 2026-01-06T20:47:28+00:00

I believe men in general are failing in this area, so blaming pill community's for it, doesnt make much sense.

InterestingGoose5507 · 2026-01-07T17:03:28+00:00

Pill communities (such as red pill) have made men more risk adverse and weary of inviting chaos (the wrong woman) into their lives. Consequently, when you won’t date (on a serious basis) ran through, promiscuous, high risk cheating women, you lower your dating pool. The more careful, the more the pool shrinks.

Social media has made people more anti social in general and people have a lot less closer friends than they did 30 years ago. Women are delusional to their true value/level and equate sex to relationship desirability. Toxic feminism has told women to not settle, keep chasing Chad, that they’re empowered (despite many working dead end minimum wage jobs) and this has also lowered their dating pool significantly!

throwaway73737828 · 2026-01-05T13:20:25+00:00

You are not seeing the overwhelming majority of gen Z men. Also, those relationships you see 90% of the time women is the leader. She dictates wtf is happening in that relationship. The sex and the intimacy. You are wrapped around when “she feels like it”. If you get those guys and say to them, go get another girl, the majority of them will fail. Those guys stay in that relationship because they please the women just for her to not leave. I mean, if you are a bitch to your women and you are at her mercy for a relationship to exist, thats on you. But men on TRP aren’t like that. TRP men wants guaranteed or close to guaranteed sex, where you are the leader, where you can replace her easily, where you have abundance. Which in order to be that YOU HAVE TO BE THAT GUY. Thats why TRP men grinds to be that guy. Its not only just for women, its in all realms of life.

Any men who is Gen Z can get a gf with providing no value other than great time and attention. The thing is, you have to live only for women and thats it. You gonna talk to women all day long, you gonna plan dates, go to bars etc. You can absolutely find a GF with being a simp. However TRP way is, either Im the leader or no relationship at all. Thats why you gonna see most pilled guys who dont have that much relationships, they fuck here and there sometimes, till they become the man and control every relationship he enters.

Title	Why does it seem like only in pill communities are men failing with women?
Author	Equivalent_Use_5024
Upvotes	19
Comments	193
Date	January 5, 2026 12:31 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q4kh34/why_does_it_seem_like_only_in_pill_communities/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-does-it-seem-like-only-in-pill-communities-are.1570477 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570477

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