I’ve built up enough resentment for at least two lives through texting

DonnyBomeneddy · 2021-12-06T14:58:43+00:00

Have you tried chatting girls up IRL? I think that'll lower the initial threshold. I get a pretty decent amount of interest IRL.

TheTolietWhoSpeaks · 2021-12-06T14:37:34+00:00

BROTHER YES. I’ve had over 200 matches.

I got 2 dates from bumble. 1 date from Tinder

Literally one fucking mistake and you are fucked. Fucked to the fullest. They nit pick every single word and look at every single pic. One thing low value? Done for.

It’s a fucking minefield bro. I really feel like the more value you have, the easier it gets to make mistakes. The more breathing room you have. Wish you the best of success brother

Woujo · 2021-12-06T13:25:52+00:00

STOP TEXTING WOMEN. Ask them out to hang out in person. If they don't want to hang out with you in person, then move on.

WeakEmu8 · 2021-12-06T15:15:07+00:00

Stop following, start leading.

If she doesn't like your text game, that's her problem.

You're the fun train, you've invited her along, she doesn't come, then she's the one missing out.

Stop being a sycophant to women. Live your own damn life for yourself.

oPlayer2o · 2021-12-06T15:11:13+00:00

Dude just get rid of the apps try talking to girls in real life.

logoreanoten · 2021-12-06T12:36:44+00:00

You have the simps to blame for this.

JAE_7502 · 2021-12-06T15:19:13+00:00

You have to realize that if you get 10 matches and they respond most of them still won't translate into a date. Women have tons of matches and get distracted easily since there are so many options. I always exchange around 5 messages with someone. I put thought into them and keep them funny also. If you can make someone laugh they will remember you more then all the other boring messages they get. After around 5 messages I mention that it looks like we are getting along great and ask to meet in person if they would like to continue talking. I send them my number and ask them to text me so I can send them over some plans. Some girls like to waste your time talking endlessly through the apps. You will lose those ones here, but you don't want them anyways. They will waste your time with no results.

After they text me I send a date idea over and ask them which days they are free. I then pick a day and send the full details. I always try to pick a day soon. After then I don't text again until the morning of just to confirm. If it is a week away I send a "looking forward to meeting you on %day" message just so it is not completely silent. I don't like to get roped into long text conversations prior to meeting. Save that for later after you are seeing the person regularly.

You can be playful and fun without being overly sexual right out the gate. If your flirting is not creepy then they will not take it as creepy. If they do then oh well. Someone else will be more receptive. Saying "in this day and age" is a weak excuse to not flirt. Women still love good flirting.

Most people will not be compatible with you. You want to filter out the time wasters and people that are not compatible with you early on and devote your time and energy to the people you click with. Don't beat yourself up too bad. Online dating is a pool of all kinds of people and most are not going to fit well with you. It takes a lot of digging to find someone special.

I do agree with you that dating sucks now compared to what it used to be, but we can only play on the field the game is taking place on. All we can do is be positive and adapt.

ace_qk · 2021-12-06T13:28:10+00:00

I feel your frustration, especially on the self-esteem knocks. It’s confusing because the matches & initial attention convey you’ve got something going on, and I assume you have a personality in real life. So getting through that initial stage to convey that is definitely annoying. Without going on too much of a tangent I have to highlight how humorous it is, when sometimes you do meet these girls and in real life (Where it matters!) they have no substance.

Anyway, practically - I have resolved to 2 solutions, which are more passive because like you it annoyed be too much and was causing me to care for a game I didn’t want to play.

1) Very minimal texting, only use as a method to set up dates. On this vns & calls are better but depending on ‘app’ not always better

2) Live approaches. Since I know I have substance in person, I told myself instead of letting this get to you - if you really want to talk to women, do it live - then I can’t complain - on me.

With 2, if you do it the right way & leave a good impression you can refer to 1 or actually have quality conversation. Although this does not completely eliminate some ghosting even women who showed noticeable interest.

But the game is the game, continue to strive brother

Obvious-Ad5758 · 2021-12-06T13:05:46+00:00

Totally feel you modern dating is bad for men and good for women. In order to get a chance you have to be the best of the best and its like you’re a candidate being screened for a job by a robot one mistake and you’re out because guess what girls have hundred more men to take your spot i would just say just keep trying try day games and hopefully you find the one.

LesWhite · 2021-12-06T19:05:17+00:00

Dude chill out. Something you need to realize is that even if a girl matches with you and responds to you, it's perfectly okay for them to not carry the conversation any further. It just is what it is. Sure you might feel like they're trying to spite you or they're doing it to be rude, but that's often not the case. Stop being so outcome dependent. The girls who are interested will always respond and will be open towards your advances. The ones who don't, won't. Learn to let go of the ones that don't and instead focus on simply trying to find the ones that will

Mmm91for · 2021-12-06T15:07:24+00:00

Honestly man Fck all that social media sht. Go approach women in person get their number (not Instagram! You don’t want to be a fan). Use their number to set up a date don’t talk too much. Have a FaceTime convo or phone convo but Fck all that texting bs.

Plus women really don’t go on tinder to hook up they just want validation.

neondream666 · 2021-12-06T15:39:08+00:00

It sounds like you need to take a break from the apps, especially if it’s making you get mad at women. That energy is going to stick with you and you’ll give off “incel” vibes due to your lack of patience and frustration. Maybe try the old fashioned in person approach? Learn about cold approaches and talking to people in person. It’s not easy, but the more you do it and get rejected, the easier it gets. Also so many people are open to dates but are just waiting for someone to approach them.

lildudefromXdastreet · 2021-12-06T15:30:11+00:00

Stop asking for instagrams. Get their number unless u wanna end up lost in the sea of lames Dming her

strugglingstudent00 · 2021-12-06T21:23:25+00:00

Online dating is a complete waste of time. Social media is not an area to be social and men are almost always getting the short end of the stick on these platforms. If you cant monetize your social media accounts there is almost no reason to have one. Dating apps are really useless unless you are in the top 10% of males in looks and even good looking guys can get fucked by not having "good pictures." I've seen so many men get their confidence destroyed by social media and dating apps its insane so many dudes still try to use them.

Approach women in person and see how that works for you. I would only give people a phone number instead of exchanging social media because social media just sticks you right into the pile of dudes giving her attention that she has no intention of meeting up with.

jeeptravel · 2021-12-06T15:03:26+00:00

I never felt like this when I was dating, I was just myself. Sure, sometimes she’d stop texting back. Or after a date I wouldn’t hear a word back. But I still just did my thing and it’s worked out well

basedjr- · 2021-12-06T15:57:34+00:00

You’re thinking too hard.

A man who goes to the lake begging for a fish will often go home empty handed.

Text game is nuanced because less is more. Your text messages should be like a currency. The more you give, the less it means. Kind of like inflation.

Recent_Enthusiasm_35 · 2021-12-06T12:34:15+00:00

You’re too focused on girls. Focus on building your future and your legacy and the one GIRL for you will come. Don’t even try to get to know a girl over tinder or social media. Make plans, hang out with her and call it a day.

Phoshow1111 · 2021-12-06T14:59:58+00:00

ABF always be fucking. Lower your standards and then level up. It’s not for everyone but it’s been a game changer for me. 10? 2? They’re all the same and you’ll realize that and have more success with the hotter chicks once you work all the kinks out of your game on the regular girls.

Andxel · 2021-12-06T13:12:24+00:00

Hang out, text only to set up dates. Think of it from her perspective. A hot ass chick is getting 30 matches a day, there’s very little you can do to stand out on app where no matter how attractive u are, u’ll always be “a guy from tinder”

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-12-06T12:38:02+00:00

What are examples of your texts?

Keezymac34 · 2021-12-06T18:15:23+00:00

Approch in real life and yes i know it sucks, just dont take it serious. This is how it is for the whole guy gender. Theres no mythical guy out there not dealing with this bs. Guys who succeed at dating are the ones that push through the BS and dont let it effect there self esteem. When girls flake or ghost it doesnt say anything about who you are as a person.

creativeoutlaw44 · 2021-12-06T18:20:28+00:00

Vent and explode, but don't let this lava infiltrate your thoughts about women or spill over into your life. Too much negativity is a type of brain cancer that will rot you from the inside out.

Texts are often read through whatever internal voice we have, giving you large amounts of error (as you said, a minefield) to mess things up because whoever you send a text to is interpreting it in their own internal voice. Since all of us have unique voices and interpret things differently depending on a variety of factors, it leaves a huge margin for error.

Instead, focus your numbers on using text to open, suggest meeting up in real life, and then evaluate later.

If a girl doesn't want to meet up IRL off of an app after some quick chatting, just move on. I know this will feel like the end of the world (especially if the girl is hot), but it will speed up meeting real girls.

You'll save endless amounts of time, money, and frustration this way.

Think about it like this: what do you have to gain by getting a girl's Instagram? Snapchat? WhatsApp? Are you going to become her follower and donate to her Patreon? All of these things are just social ties that you can get later if you're dating or become intertwined, but totally unnecessary for you now.

If she suggests another one of these social channels, just straight up say: "We've already connected over [insert app here], and I'd prefer to get to know the real you instead of looking at pictures/stories/etc. Do you prefer [insert options for date here]? How about we meet at [insert time/location of date here]?

Another piece of wisdom: we all want hot gals, but sometimes they're shit in bed and life. Nobody wants less than attractive gals, but they often times come with a fantastic personality and can drain your cock better than a Tijuana whore. Looks are (mostly) a bad way to evaluate women's overall qualities, especially since they are guaranteed to degrade over time (just like yours). Values, fitness, time preference, sense of humor, and career are all way better indicators instead of how well she can do her makeup or wear cute dresses.

5_7pickup · 2021-12-06T18:25:37+00:00

Ive never met a girl via OLD and Ive used it off and on for YEARS.

Ive slept with 7 girls within 3 months of cold approach.

Refer to my field reports.

Thierr · 2021-12-06T18:47:44+00:00

Every time I’m typing a word I feel like I’m walking through a minefield ready to skyrocket me to the ghost zone at the first wrong comma or as soon as I try to make the girl engage even just a bit more

This is probably the real issue.

oceanstwelve · 2021-12-06T19:20:36+00:00

Im sorry to hear that.

I am not kidding though that you have to change your mindset. All these girls who are ghosting you (especially on whims). They are not worth it.

Since you have clearly written that it damages your self esteem. It shouldn't. and that's why right now you are getting such girls as its kind of a self fulfilling prohpecy. I am not preaching anything, I speak from experience. And it was hard but once I finally started to let go even before I initiated texting,

I started meeting precious women who would do much worse if i screw up but definitely not ghost or ignore me. Not to mention, meeting just 1 or 2 of such women made me immediately made me confident about the women who ghosted me in some way previously.

Because one of them did come back into my life. And i went out with her. I was able to look in her eyes and spend time with her but still feeling powerfule inside that she has no control over my emotional well being or self esteem.

Seriously, flip this and watch the magic.

Just meeting 1 right girl (you may not even date her) would make you forget, not-care, and even laugh on the 100 girls who ghosted you without any substantial reason.

Chad_Thundermember · 2021-12-06T20:53:33+00:00

Online dating were made solely to cater to two types of people: Rich men and trophy women.

I lost my virginity with a woman I seduced in a book store. From then on, I've slept with a total of 8 women throughout my life. Not really an impressive number, but I have a friend who have slept with way more women than I have that he met on these online apps and he still thinks I'm better than him. And I've seen him try to interact with girls live in person. He's fucking pathetic. He flat out told me in the past that the reason he gets laid is because he lowers his standards and ends up with low-quality women. So if online apps are your go-to source for women and online apps will really only get you the quality women if you have a big bank account, how low-quality were the women that he ended up hooking up with from those apps? I shudder to think... He's no longer my friend for a reason.

I also have a friend who lost his virginity from a dating app and ended up sleeping with quite a bit more. Much more than I've had in my life time. And he's not proud of it. And he always asks me for advice on how to talk to girls. Me, of all people. What the fuck.

Online dating is shit. I've dated girls (which didn't end up in sex, to be honest) who would never pay attention to whatever online profile I come up with but ended up at least giving me a kiss in the cheek when I dated them in real life. That is what true dating and seduction looks like.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2021-12-06T21:20:06+00:00

So get off the apps and approach.

And lose the anger, dude.

MihaiRau · 2021-12-06T22:31:31+00:00

It's rigged af mate. I've recently logged into my old account and my wife's in tandem. In 30 min she was 99+ while I was at 4.

LandscapeClear1630 · 2021-12-06T16:03:00+00:00

Whoever says "onLiNe dAtInG iS hArd fOr gIrLs tOo" is stupid as fuck.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2021-12-06T12:46:33+00:00

Spend less time trying to get to know the girl over text and spend more time establishing dates.

youcheekydelinquent · 2021-12-06T16:11:47+00:00

I'm old school but texting is for scheduling & coordinating until you have a real connection and even then having actual conversations on text is fraught with issues.

bls65 · 2021-12-06T16:25:25+00:00

Put down the phone and get out there. Face to face is the way to go, so many social cues and so much of the non-verbal evolutionary body language does not convey through email and text.

focus_flow69 · 2021-12-06T16:33:42+00:00

Hey man I get it and feel your frustrations and venting helps. But ya gotta realize you gotta have a better mindset. You have all this negativity built up in your mindset, you really need to reframe yourself and make this an enjoyable and fun process. Don't be so dependent on the success of texting and responses from girls to the point where they are getting you down on life. After all, it's just text. Make it fun and flirty and playful when you text. If it works it works if it doesn't oh well, try again and do some trial and error on what works and what doesn't. Girls can choose to respond coldly or not at all for a million different reasons. It's rarely your fault, no need to beat yourself up over it. It's toxic.

Also, if you hate texting so much just go out and approach girls in real life. Theres your reason to do it, and honestly it's so much better.

average_hight_midget · 2021-12-06T16:44:04+00:00

You can still talk to girls in real life. 2. I know it’s easier said than done but you have to take the emotional reaction out when girls stop replying. A girl not wanting to get to know you more or keep the convo going is her loss and a her problem. You’re making a her problem into a you problem. Keep in mind that these apps are often used purely out of boredom for some quick validation and dopamine hits from matches. If this all sounds like nonsense, simply refer back to point 1.

canuckpuckbeaut · 2021-12-06T16:50:54+00:00

Get off of dating apps. Go to bars and places to actually meet women

-Ze- · 2021-12-06T16:59:07+00:00

You don't like to text. neither do i. Such a chore.

Actually i don't like talking that much if it's not for exchanging information or related to something i have strong opinions about.

So why do you do that?

Here's how a succesful conversation with a tinder match usually goes for me:

"😁Heyyy"

"Hey"

"How are you?"

"blah blah blah and you?"

"not bad, thank you. Wanna go for a drink on %WEEKDAY?"

Some people don't answer to "Hey" because they think it's unoriginal.

Some people write in their bio that you HAVE to do better than "Hey".

Some people don't wanna meet in real life.

I don't need those people. I'm not on tinder to play their game; i'm playing mine. I just wanna know if they wanna play with me. If not, that's ok.

Every time I’m typing a word I feel like I’m walking through a minefield ready to skyrocket me to the ghost zone at the first wrong comma or as soon as I try to make the girl engage even just a bit more. Because you don’t have to be needy, but you also need to take the girl off the phone and meet you IRL as soon as you can. You have to be yourself, but not really. You have to be interesting, but also mysterious and write short texts.

And here you are going crazy because some people you didn't wanna text with didn't respond well to your desperation. Well, it seems like you were hating ever single second of it, but felt like you needed to do it anyway. And i think that's what needs to change.

You are absolutely free to be yourself. Don't like texting? don't text. A lot of girls don't like to text either. Ask them out, decide where and when and leave it at that.

Mischiefmanaged715 · 2021-12-06T17:00:19+00:00

It might be time for you to take a break from online dating. I have a feeling your resentment and cynicism is showing through and it may be that more than anything else that is putting girls off. Someone who is playing a game they think they have to play while absolutely hating it is just not going to come across as attractive. So maybe take a break, go out and get involved in activities you enjoy and maybe you’ll meet girls irl. Only come back to the online stuff when you feel you can approach it with genuine interest and effort rather than massive resentment.

I’m a woman so like I may not have the same perspective but I can tell you that when I do try to date other women (I’m bi), it’s massively difficult and I’ve put in a lot of effort with very little to show for it in that realm. It’s better to approach dating apps with extremely low expectations. There’s sort of the facade of quantity but in reality it’s like the rest of the world; lots of people, very few you’ll actually click with romantically or sexually. Assume most interactions won’t lead anywhere. Then you can be pleasantly surprised for the rare ones that do.

I’ve had phases of more or less effort on dating apps. There’s times when I’m able to just enjoy engaging conversations, maybe one-off dates that don’t go anywhere for what they are. When I find myself becoming burnt out and frustrated, I know it’s time to take a step back

lil_investor8 · 2021-12-06T17:28:14+00:00

I am going to tell you something that works for me on Hinge/Tinder. You're very likely to ignore this or feel awkward to do this... Don't mean to be rude but you don't my game/confidence yet (I am an ugly dude btw)

I say some shit that I find funny/weird/clever/whatever comes to my head.

Example 1. "You're clearly a bot! All bots post the same stuff"

then she replies: "what?!? What do you mean? ....

Example 2 "I have an Android, is that cool with you? You seem like a person that doesn't reply to Android users. Am I right? "

then she replied "LOL. Tbh I won't reply to group chats with androids blah blah blah blah...."

HAVE FUN DUDE!! "Smash the scoreboard"

no_not_this · 2021-12-06T17:50:10+00:00

Get the number within 10 messages on tinder. Set the meet up within the first 5 texts. I don’t know why this is so hard for some people. If she’s into you and into meeting it will work. If not you’ve saved yourself time. And fuck Instagram. You don’t have it.

TLu_03 · 2021-12-06T19:18:54+00:00

Jesus, big yikes. You’re supposed to meet girls IRL my dude!! That’s the standard. Anything you get into online is a bonus.

desertdungarees · 2021-12-06T21:01:12+00:00

Who says the texts have to be short? I much prefer a long babbling text with a ton of context than some vague 5 word segue that leaves me clueless as to what the fuck you're trying to say.

Try this: talk to her (whomever she is). Don't be bashful. Just write her. Don't be crude or gross or creepy, but also don't be vague and send too little information. Start off by asking specific shit about her from her profile. Google shit you see in her photos if you need some background. The shit is too easy.

I don't get matches, but when I do, I typically knock it out the park. I just suck at relationships. I wish I could have the whole relationship via text, except for the physical bits. Because people in person annoy me. And I can say the perfect things in text because I can sit down and think about it instead of being on the spot in person. AND, if a person is on some bullshit, I have whatever they're saying did or didn't happen in writing.

Give text another shot. Say lots. Ask poignant questions. Engage her. You got this.

quantumactual · 2021-12-06T22:20:18+00:00

Then stop texting dude...lol. I’ve been in a relationship for 2 and a half years and my girl knows this by now so she calls me when she wants to talk. Or she’ll send me memes on Instagram or whatever.

It also helped that I didn’t meet her on a dating app.

2021-12-06T13:19:46+00:00

You’re probably too negative

Talk about your accomplishments more. Ask her for her accomplishments. Don’t vent too much Say things funny

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-12-06T15:38:21+00:00

Sorry, Mate. I stopped reading after "...I hate". Do you know what cognitive dissonance is? Means we love the things we are good at and hate the things we are bad at. Solution: get good at the things you suck at. Quit complaining and ask for help. People will think better of you asking instead of whining.

2021-12-06T15:58:00+00:00

Recently got back into the dating game and started using Tinder.

I've quickly realised that there's a few things you should always keep in mind:

1 - YOU have value too. Don't get so caught up in the chase that you compromise your values.

2 - if she's not interested, why are you upset? There's literally zero reason to give more attention to a person that's not interested in you.

3 - You're looking for a partner. That's one person, not hundreds. You're looking for a needle in a haystack. Maybe it takes 1000 matches to find the girl for you.

It's also about timing, maybe a girl you matched with 3 months back was in the wrong headspace, but now turns out she's a perfect fit?

There's really no reason you should be getting angry at girls who don't show interest, why the hell are you letting people take up your time and energy when you're not even a fart in the wind to them?

If you're actually getting worked up about ghosting and such then I might suggest seeking therapy. It's not a show of weakness to seek help, most people would benefit from some therapy every now and then.

While I agree that the way Tinder and such works sucks, that's just how it is. Personally I use it as a tool to meet new people and potentially a partner.

I spend a few minutes every now and then swiping until my likes run out. If I get a match I shoot of a message after I'm done swiping, or at a later time if I don't feel like it then and there. If she's not really responding then no sweat, move on. There's no use in giving people my time if they're not doing the same. Maybe that's different for you, but it's an important value for me and I'm not compromising that.

You have value, remember that.

Bit of a rant, bit of an idk. Take from it what you will.

mmmkaaaayyy · 2021-12-06T14:52:46+00:00

1000000% agree bro.

"I even start being angry at women for being so fucking demanding when it comes to how you perform over a goddamned smartphone."

feel the same. exactly the same.

i dont understand why it's a requirement that we now dumb down and translate our personalities to mere 1's, 0's, and text on a screen.

tredollasign · 2021-12-06T17:44:19+00:00

Adjust your strategy to find success or accept reality. Complaining on Reddit won’t get you anywhere.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-06T12:53:46+00:00

Classic mistake of developing a relationship over text.

lookintothefuturem8 · 2021-12-06T16:18:35+00:00

Have you seen how a dude with half a good body and face is treated. You can open with something like are you into anal and more than half of them will talk to you with all that emojis and effort and shit. Just get a good body and let them beg you

mrrooftops · 2021-12-06T18:08:05+00:00

Firstly, you're aiming too high, secondly, your anger and hate will be sensed a mile away by nearly all women. So shit test city for you, and it's your fault.

ld20r · 2021-12-06T17:17:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Dontwantnoscrubs100 · 2021-12-06T18:46:09+00:00

People in general find it difficult to reject others (some dont) so ghosting often seems to come easier than saying, actually Im not interested enough. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I avoid datingapps. Hate em, and when once in a while I do succumb to hopping on to some platform, I reject most reactions right away. When even a tad of doubt Im not even gonna accept. Something to do with expectation anxiety and shit. But, just be clear on your profile what your intentions are. Interaction irl is soo different from texting. Im sticking to irl.

lefthandedaf · 2021-12-06T20:46:33+00:00

I hear ya. And don’t forget what happens when you actually get the DATE. Now it’s the same minefield, only in person. If they don’t like one thing, then they’re on to the next in line.
I’m thankful to have had quite a lot of success with online dating, but it still takes me a LOT of time and tolerance just to sift through the BS, flakes, and ghosts, and get a date.

MentalCelOmega · 2021-12-06T21:17:16+00:00

That' one of thousands of reasons why it is not worth pursuing them. Its better to devote your time and money to knowledge instead.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-12-07T00:35:00+00:00

1

.....women for being so fucking demanding when it comes to how you perform over a goddamned smartphone.

Let's back the train way up here. What is seduction really? It's a form of social interaction. That requires in-person social skills.

It's not about smartphone interactions. If you handle business in person well enough then the smartphone communications are a very minor part of all this.

If you do not have a foundation of social skills built up already though, then every part of this is going to be insanely frustrating.

2

....but I don’t see anything wrong with the texts I send until all of these stuck up women start ghosting the ever living shit out of me.

I realized that you're just ranting about this because you're frustrated, right? But if you actually want help then simply ranting is not enough. You need to get some feedback about what you're actually doing to lead to these results. You've supplied none of that information. So under the assumption that you likely actually want things to get better, can you fill in some gaps?

How are you meeting women?
How are you opening them? What are you saying and doing?
What is the opening conversation typically about? How are you coming up with information for this opening conversation?
What exactly are you texting to them in the lead up to them ghosting you? Can you give any examples?

3

Every time I’m typing a word I feel like I’m walking through a minefield ready to skyrocket me to the ghost zone at the first wrong comma or as soon as I try to make the girl engage even just a bit more

You're turning this into something complicated. If you're meeting girls online, it's not complicated.

You toss a few casual messages back and forth. Nothing sexual. No special messages required to get someone to engage.

If they've matched and they're messaging you, they're already as engaged as they're going to be for a stranger they don't even know.

The early messages are simply to establish that both of you are human beings and then shortly thereafter, you set up a meet in real life. This typically takes just a couple messages.

4

Online dating methods are supposed to be supplementary to meeting people in real life. What does your social life look like?

dreameater42 · 2021-12-06T16:35:03+00:00

maybe they're not responding back because they can sense your anger issues

Lotus_82 · 2021-12-06T15:48:35+00:00

You may not see anything wrong with the way you text but it’s obviously not achieving the desired results.

What works for me personally is only using text messaging for a very specific purpose and being super disciplined about it.

In every interaction there’s always one person initiating the communication and I never text first.

I let women text me and I text back very short messages with a few well chosen words designed to just tease her into wanting to text more.

But I never get into actual discussions over text, I just use it as something to “tease” a girl into finding me intriguing and wanting to interact with me in person.

Usually it makes women “work” for my attention and many times I’ve gotten racy pics from women trying to get a reaction out of me because I wasn’t responding like a “simp” and it drives most women nuts, especially for they’ve been drinking.

I’m not particularly good looking, I’m not rich and I’m 5’5 so it’s not like I’m super attractive and therefore getting away with things average dudes can’t do.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-12-06T22:49:39+00:00

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recyclablebanthas · 2021-12-06T16:15:55+00:00

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PuempelsPurpose · 2021-12-06T17:47:39+00:00

Lol. This is a problem you have created in your head. If you don't like it, find other ways.

I did ok on dating apps, but back when I was single I could have gotten laid even if I didn't own a phone. Women will go on a date with you spontaneously if you approach enough of them well enough, and if they do that they may very well fuck you at the end of it.

lItsAutomaticl · 2021-12-06T17:48:18+00:00

This applies to dating itself. I feel like girls are eagerly waiting for guys to say something they find slightly offensive so they can drop them.

Hanmura · 2021-12-06T16:54:28+00:00

“Because you don’t have to be needy, but you also need to take the girl off the phone and meet you IRL as soon as you can.”

what are you saying OP? Meet with her asap? That’s not how it works, you’re just being needy lol

PondScum420 · 2021-12-06T23:52:23+00:00

I think you’re taking it too seriously, you shouldn’t be getting that pissed off, dating is supposed to be fun

RecommendationNo3103 · 2021-12-06T16:19:02+00:00

That’s why I don’t text. I strut around confidently and let the ladies come to me. It’s that simple. And I get with plenty of beautiful women that way

papasmurf101 · 2021-12-06T17:12:06+00:00

you are never saying the wrong thing, people can choose to take it the wrong way if they want. It's all in the mindset

BigShuggy · 2021-12-06T17:45:37+00:00

I think your mistake is you’re trying to make it make sense. There’s no hidden law or set of rules that make some texts okay and others not. A lot of girls are swiping simply for validation and quick dopamine, source- I know some of them and they’ve spoke openly about it. Also girls are all different with different preferences for how someone speaks to them and since supply is so high (billions of desperate guys out there) they can afford to be extremely picky. A side note since I know you didn’t ask, I’d skip online dating altogether. I don’t know anyone currently who’s with someone they met online, it’s all friends of friends or work. Expanding your social circles is the way.

gannex · 2021-12-06T17:58:07+00:00

Yeah I can't stand it. It seems especially bad with girls in their early 20s. They will continually send you 1 or 2 word answers that don't drive the conversation in any direction and you have to be there doing quantum physics trying to figure out how to be flirtatious but not too needy while not using any punctuation and using the right amount of emojis but not too many emojis or something. It's absolutely fucking retarded. I hope evolution kicks in and these zoomer girls just get cut out of the gene pool.

watergate_boi · 2021-12-06T18:15:32+00:00

You gotta try and get them to a date irl ASAP. The text game is exhausting as fuck I feel you

illyxxx · 2021-12-06T18:30:18+00:00

try getting off the phone and into the real world

NSFWgripgalopant · 2021-12-06T18:57:39+00:00

You need to be Just like the girls Chase at bo burhan song

YankeesTrader1991 · 2021-12-06T19:27:16+00:00

I’ve significantly decreased the amount I text ever since... forget just dating... I had significant relationship problems because of it. I’m very up front now with my intentions to text.

getyahfuckingyeeted · 2021-12-06T19:32:34+00:00

Exactly, I've gotten almost 2400 matches, but I've only gotten a full conversation with 5 of them

indigo_pirate · 2021-12-06T20:20:04+00:00

Text game can be learned. Just practice being loose and fun with it.

If you really need to find some scripted material to run, maybe have a beer or two to loosen up and get in the rhythm.

Amkg2020 · 2021-12-06T21:38:12+00:00

Ya phones are shite enjoy your life you don't need a girl , also stop caring about what you text just text really fast and don't care what you say

learnbyrepetition · 2021-12-06T22:20:22+00:00

I get what you feel, been there. In my case, I found out that the reason it made me so resentful when a girl stopped talking to me was because I was trying to be someone I was not while texting, so seeing that I was betraying myself AND not getting results made me feel like shit. What I’ve done to fix that is to just be a little more myself on texts and care about it a little less, correct me if I’m wrong but it seems like your whole dating experience is based around texting so I’d focus more on meeting girls in real life if I was you.

fnamazin · 2021-12-07T00:18:35+00:00

This is why I shotgun messages on dating apps that allow me to, to everyone that I find attractive and take my picks from there, whoever responds back. If you can manage to get multiple message/conversation going with women, it helps.

DarthFarris · 2021-12-07T00:23:31+00:00

I think it's worth mentioning that most women (perhaps most people) on dating apps are bored more than anything. 90% of the time you're interacting with them, they aren't actually interested. Not because of you, but just because they aren't actually looking for anything really. You have to go into it with that in mind.

For me, I get a decent amount of matches. Some women never respond (and never un-match me). I forget about them. Some women respond, but put in minimal effort. I'll probe it a little bit to see if I can spark a bit more interest, but, if things don't progress after 5-10 messages (or a couple days, whatever comes first), I drop that too. Not gonna waste my energy on someone who isn't reciprocating.

Now, there are some women who will message me first and/ or ask me questions. Those are the ones I focus on, go on dates with, etc. I don't ever really try to be funny, clever, or whatever. My first line is always some form of greeting and a compliment or question related to their profile. Sometimes it works; sometimes I get radio silence.

Basically my advice is this, go into it without expectations. Use those first messages to see if they are actually interested or if they're just on dating apps as casual entertainment. If they don't give any energy into their responses, then just forget about them.

GhoulChaser · 2021-12-07T00:27:26+00:00

“Become a man of your dreams before you find a woman of yours” get your body right and money right and females will flock to you. Start doing cold approaches. Texting should only be meant for one thing, setting up a time to meet in person to hang out. Don’t spend money on her trying to “show off” because woman tend to go on dates for one of two reasons. They are interested in you or they are trying to scam you out of a meal, and don’t put her on a different level than you. Ask questions, and don’t let her control the date at any point. The less she knows about you the better.

TheOffice_Account · 2021-12-07T00:34:16+00:00

the first wrong comma

Bro, you use commas? What's wrong with you?!

unmatch!

Moorning_wood · 2021-12-07T00:45:07+00:00

Unless you have done something clearly bad - do not take their ghosting personally.

They did not ghost you. They had ghosted a random creature on Tinder, too abstract. It is the culture.

Please do not lose your sleep over that shit. They do not give a crap. Move on. Their loss. Meeting in life is the best anyways.

Limit tinder time to shitting time. Crap in = crap out.

Cmoon man. 😎

Title	I’ve built up enough resentment for at least two lives through texting
Author	Andxel
Upvotes	320
Comments	217
Date	December 6, 2021 12:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ra62em/ive_built_up_enough_resentment_for_at_least_two/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ive-built-up-enough-resentment-for-at-least-two.1271206 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271206

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