Q4A In terms of dating, do you regret being being born in the here and now rather than another era or culture?

throwaway042994 · 2022-01-06T04:06:44+00:00

Boomer and early genX era sounds like it was pretty great to be a young adult, mid-late 1980s and early 90s.

It really seems like things took a cliffdive late 00s, just as I was becoming an adult.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-01-06T04:59:09+00:00

Nope. What comes to mind is my great-grandma, who apparently married at 14 and was pregnant for almost her entire pre-menopausal life.

I like that I can exist without a husband, I can have a career and make my own money, and that any man in my life is only there because I want him to be.

Oh, and birth control. Excellent.

wejaow · 2022-01-06T10:43:30+00:00

I’m black so no

RabbitNRaccoon · 2022-01-06T08:23:32+00:00

No.

It's easy to hype up a time period when you didn't live in it.

We are all so spoiled and ignorant that we think the world was better in the past.

It wasn't. It was just the world.

IcarusKiki · 2022-01-06T04:34:08+00:00

The “born in the wrong generation” bs is just people romanticizing the past. You probably would have been the same social rank/happiness no matter what time period you lived in bc life isnt a Norman Rockwell painting. The FDSers who claim that “men were men back then” would probably end up a frazzled wino housewife with a cheating fat factory worker husband. And the incels who long for a hot virginal bangmaid bride would have either died in war or in a coal mine explosion or had a shrieking harpy leeching off them who was banging the milkman on the side

LiftSushiDallas · 2022-01-06T03:19:15+00:00

I love being a woman today. I specifically love that I can make 6 figures in a career I enjoy and keep all the money for myself.

I love that I can date the man I love and not cohabitate (I don't want to), not get married (I don't want to) and not have kids (never wanted them).

I love online dating. I love that I got to meet and qualify every man I went out with front my couch. I love that I don't have to join clubs and have a large social circle to meet men. I love that I don't have to have family and friends involved in my dating life. I love that I can screen out dealbreakers and chat exclusively with the men I am interested in who fit my priorities and preferences.

I'm glad to be a woman in 2022.

decoy88 · 2022-01-06T04:05:46+00:00

I’m black so no.

MP8877 · 2022-01-06T04:49:59+00:00

33m. Wouldn’t choose any other time (at least in the past). I’m average, maybe only slightly above, and have it so much better when it comes to casual dating than my father or grandfathers. Getting laid is awesome and I completely provide for myself… so the whole looking for a housewife/mom type is pointless to me.

NarniaFox · 2022-01-06T05:16:49+00:00

I think now is pretty much the best time for dating. At least in Russia.

Compared to my mother or my grandmother's generation, women nowadays have it so much better. And the older generation we take the harsher the difference. In my and my older cousins' generations there are far less alcoholics and drug abusers and more men who actually want to be good partners and fathers. And some of them even fit these roles well. They're either the lucky ones who had good parents in their lives or decided that they want to do better than their parents did and they actually mean it. Therapy has also become a thing, sure, it's still pretty rare, but some men and women do try it out and solve issues that they got from previous generations.

And we have more freedom and choice. It's okay to have premarital sex, cohabitate, change partners. If you fucked up the first time, you aren't obliged to stay with this fucked up choice, you can try again. There's reliable contraception and we don't have to turn to abortions as a method of contraception like some of out grandmothers and great grandmothers had to, some of which had several dozens of abortions during their life time. Some didn't have access to contraception and others' husbands were against using anything and couldn't even pull out.

I guess from men's point of view, it's different though. A lot of men still lament about the time when due to traditional gender roles and screwed gender ratio a man was seen as a prize and he wasn't expected to do much in a family, just being present was enough. When divorces were something shameful and lots of women coped with their alcoholic and violent husbands. But, from the other hand, I think a lot of men do like the opportunity to date around and have sex without getting married first.

Maybe it'll get better in the future, I hope so, but if I had to choose between now and the past, I'd chose now each time. I don't have to get married early, I'm not considered my husband's property and we have pretty much the same freedoms all around. I also managed to find an egalitarian man and it was hard enough even now, it would be impossible back then.

errrright · 2022-01-06T04:40:42+00:00

I am quite happy to be living in this time versus any other. I’m happy that my otherwise conservative dad raised me to not depend on men for financial security and happiness. I’m happy that I have had the opportunity to grow and establish myself without the pressures of marriage. I’m happy that I still have so much time left to get married and have a family, because that is also my dream.

I understand and empathize with people who struggle dating in today’s world because I don’t necessarily think that modern dating is easier. With having so much more freedom and options comes greater difficulty finding somebody whose values match yours.

42nanaimobars · 2022-01-06T05:18:13+00:00

Honestly, I just wish I was a Time Lord with a TARDIS. Who cares about dating when I could just travel through space and time and go on cool adventures with cool people.

Aclopolipse · 2022-01-06T05:30:51+00:00

Another not-a-straight-white-male chiming in to say I much prefer the present than the past. The modern era has its suck for sure - in dating and elsewhere - but it's hard to say I'd want to be part of a culture that wants nothing to do with me.

handemande1 · 2022-01-06T08:55:14+00:00

I'd go back to 2013 Tinder. You get all the positives of the modern era mentioned like more empowered women, all while the algorithms of online dating haven't been altered too much yet to keep you on the apps instead of getting dates. Average blokes were dating & finding relationships with online dating much more successfully then, and online dating polls say that people in 2015 were happier with dating apps then compared to now. You'd get a couple of good years in

gunbusterxl · 2022-01-06T10:19:00+00:00

I regret being born, period. I'm not into forcing women to be with men they're not attracted to. They should do whatever makes them happy. But being in love with someone that doesn't want you, fucking hurts.

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2022-01-06T03:03:03+00:00

I think about this so often. I wasn’t meant to worry about society or politics I was just supposed to have babies and pick berries and look pretty. So pretty far back.

Kizka · 2022-01-06T03:30:50+00:00

I feel like I was born about 20 years too late. I was born in 1989 and it feels like the world rapidly turned to shit as I was coming into adulthood in the late '00s. Economic decline, increasing social alienation, stuff like that. I know it's only fiction, but when I watch comedy shows from the early '00s (I've just been re-watching the original (UK) The Office for example) I can't help but feel that the overall social atmosphere was different back then. If I'd been in my early 30s as I am now back in the early '00s I think I might have been able to earn better money, have a social group, date, and find a girlfriend. I feel like the late '90s and early '00s might have been the best times there have ever been. Technology, video games, and the internet were starting to get awesome but everyone wasn't jaded yet.

Barely-moral · 2022-01-06T02:49:03+00:00

I can play the game as it is in the present. That being said I would have liked playing the game in the past. More precisely in my country's past.

I am not going to dox myself but I will say that sex before marriage and divorce were punished with social ostracization and I would love to live under that incentive structure. I am not saying those times were better, they were not, at least not for many people. I am not one of them.

About hypothetical futures. Sure, I would love a replacement for all human interaction that has no free will. Sign me up. I am already looking to invest in companies that are creating any technology that could be used to build a technological replacement for women.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-01-06T03:03:54+00:00

Im grateful to be a Gen x and grew up before social media/the net.

I lived outside building forts, go karts, biking, touch football, etc and didnt have helicopter parents letting my brother and I just be kids. Just like our friends parents. We came home to eat/at dark.

So many kids today don't leave the house nor will parents let them...

RandomRedditGuy322 · 2022-01-06T02:18:23+00:00

there has been no time in history where dating has been good for an average male.

it has always been good for top males and females that exist within their harems or monogamous with a 60-70% male, but never for men average or below.

So I don't care, perhaps I choose the prehistorical world in the hopes that I get some punani before I die at the age of 14.

Hennywhereigo · 2022-01-06T02:11:12+00:00

Ancient Rome. I'd have a diverse roster of concubines somethin like nato and have em carry me around everywhere like Xerxes

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-01-06T03:26:59+00:00

I truly think I would have prospered during the Cold War era. The general work ethic and values I have line up more with my parents and grandparents more so than my peers in current day. Also, just the political divide and overall my view of society just doesn’t synch.

baresquad · 2022-01-06T03:33:13+00:00

Fuck no, I don’t think there’s a better time to date in than the present

People are allowed to date freely, who they want and how they want without any ramifications for being taboo. Back in the day you could get fired for being gay. Lesbians has to pretend to be roommates so they could get hired. And if you had sex before marriage everybody socially looked at you as some kind of deviant

I hear horror stories from my parents who both grew up in strict religious circles. They tell me all the time how churches would force you to confess that you slept with somebody in front of everybody and then you 2 would be forced to get married. That’s just one example but yeah

Does dating currently suck? Sure but it’s something that’s inherently hard but I absolutely would much rather experience it today with it at my fingertips through apps and free of detrimental judgment

philomexa · 2022-01-06T03:52:32+00:00

No, I quite like the time I live in. My livelihood is not dependent on a man, and no one interferes with my marriage. I have full autonomy over my bedroom and my life, it's wonderful.

hhhhhhikkmvjjhj · 2022-01-06T08:28:21+00:00

As a man with low social skills but high technical skills I would have been married in any other culture or timeline. Maybe not a happy marriage but at least coupled up with kids. Dating was more structured before and it was very beneficial for men like me. I don’t like the present or where we are going. This society is unable to cater to my needs so I think we should get rid of it and change it back to what we had.

throwaway316stunner · 2022-01-06T16:03:55+00:00

In terms of dating, it doesn’t really matter. I’m autistic.

50 years ago, I’d have been put into an asylum simply just for having autism. Probably receive more intense shock therapy than some people get now (yes, that’s still somehow a thing in a few places and I’m absolutely disgusted).

Cheap-Pound7001 · 2022-01-06T03:15:33+00:00

God, yes.

I'd rather have come up in the 1940s-1960s.

Women were still women and loved having families.

Today's society is a dumpster fire. Everyone is a selfish piece of trash.

Square_Inflation_534 · 2022-01-06T03:10:03+00:00

Looooool no incels are idiots

Dazzling-Importance1 · 2022-01-06T05:56:21+00:00

It's be cool to be a viking mostly just to go raiding and pick up women and steal them. Also they have cool hats

merlinscalculator · 2022-01-06T02:20:51+00:00

I wish I was born into an all female society. So science fiction it is!

FlyingKite1234 · 2022-01-06T04:47:04+00:00

I’d rather be born in 50 years when you can get your 10/10 synthetic Stacy wife to shut up simply by thinking it.

sachiko468 · 2022-01-06T05:15:05+00:00

I'd have rather being born in a time where most men weren't sexually depraved porn addicts. I could have been vibing in a farm with 8 children but here we are.

LittyKitsune · 2022-01-06T04:36:35+00:00

Considering the fact that pretty much all of my relationships thus far would have been taboo/illegal in any other era, I think I'm good

DreamsOfWishes · 2022-01-06T04:37:19+00:00

I'm in a pretty good era.

I can work, I can actually make success at work which the previous generation of women couldn't really do. I have all my choices. This is really the good time.

If there's one thing, I would like a redo of my youth. I attached myself to the first guy that was interessted in me, that was a mistake and shit was slightly better when I was 20... Not because I was young, but it was before dating apps happened/right at the beginning of dating apps and that was a bit better.

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StarchRunner · 2022-01-06T02:07:22+00:00

Male. 20 years ago would picked the amish life.

Now I’d fastforward time just for hell of it. Maybe to post-humanity where people don’t even have bodies no more. I wonder if there will be dopamine circuity in our next gen hardware?

c0t1j3d0t0h0 · 2022-01-06T04:51:27+00:00

Great question. As someone pointed out already, for western females, this is the best era in history. I dont think we can debate about that. As for males, its more interesting. I would rather live in past only if i would have been born with great social status. Otherwise no. Social status was more impactfull then it is today. Without this insurance i would rather live now, just because i have more tools to better myself then its was possible ever before. Also since we dont know what future holds, i dont think we can debate about that, only dream.

Klashberry · 2022-01-06T05:03:08+00:00

I dunno, I never thought about that. Uh…I guess if I had grown up a decade or so earlier, being short wouldn’t be such a hindrance for me? That would be nice.

Actually I would love to have been a teenager in the 80s, when thrash metal was just becoming a thing and metal in general was in its infancy.

Bandit174 · 2022-01-06T07:16:56+00:00

I would prefer to have been born in the future.

TheElusivePeacock · 2022-01-06T07:26:50+00:00

Nah I love this era and culture. Dating is fun as fuck and you can choose to take it seriously or indulge in only the fun parts.

Kizka · 2022-01-06T08:40:06+00:00

Nope, I'm absolutely happy to have been born in our era. When I look at the women before me, mother, aubts, grandmothers, I sure as hell wouldn't have wanted their relationships/husbands and lives, even if I love those men. I'm definitely more happy and I think that younger women than me will probably have it even better in their relationships.

Ambassadior · 2022-01-06T08:44:26+00:00

Every older man I know is a complete dounce with women because they lack the knowledge that is more accessible in my age, I like this generation because I understand the landscape.

If anything, I kinda want to skip the next financial crash and go straight into the advanced VR stage.

chingness · 2022-01-06T10:14:37+00:00

I am SO glad to be in the era we are and the culture I’m in (UK) The freedom of choices I have over my own life and relationships is something I’d not trade for anything. My partner and I choose to be together we don’t have to be. My fate is not reliant on his ability to provide or make good life decisions; we are partners. If my partner and I were not together I do think dating would be hard because people are jaded but my life is rich in so many other ways that I’d just wait and see what came along relationship wise whilst doing other things that make me happy.

What probably influences my view a lot that I should point out is that we are childfree by choice and that’s something I truly appreciate and wouldn’t have had choices over in past eras

Bendetto4 · 2022-01-06T11:14:11+00:00

I think maybe the 90s and 00s were the best time for dating/relationships.

People were very much more liberal than they were in the 80s and 70s. Contraception was normal. Women were equals in most places. Phones made communication easier and faster.

But there was no social media, there was no competition from men around the world. One of my recent relationships was with a model who had thousands of guys commenting under her pictures on Instagram, and while it was great to be dating a model, just having that pressure that any one of those guys would want to take my place. It made dating her a chore, like I had to earn her love. I didn't want to have that in the back of my mind so I binned it off. In the 00s you would meet at a club, exchange numbers, go for a date, and boom relationship. Now you spend forever swiping on Tinder only to match with someone who has 100+ other matches that day.

While the competition remains the same, women are far more aware of the competition today. Which allows them to get away with shit that they couldn't 20 years ago.

NotGoingoutofMW · 2022-01-06T11:16:31+00:00

10-15 years earlier would've been ideal for me. It would be the right on the rise of internet and i would've had a much easier educational and career time. Working in HR as a guy is like a minesfield where i have to watch for gender and disabilities instead of pouring all my energy into finding the actual best for a specific spot. Not to mention taking my education back 10 or 15 years would bring me so much more money with almost half housing prices god damn.

I don't know how it was in the 80' and early 90' but i had so many radfem teachers and behavioural rules with an almost openly preferential grading. Maybe it was little better before.

razormachine · 2022-01-06T11:24:40+00:00

To me 70's seem like golden era, strong middle class, tradesman could easily buy a house, hippies were running around tripping, music was good.

Since then more things became worse then better.

Freedom_Investing · 2022-01-06T11:53:20+00:00

I often think the world would be a better place, dating included, without social media and the validation parts of the internet. It was a very short era that I lived through but I really liked it when we had cell phones and google but no social media. Socialization was simpler and easier, dating was simple, you didn't have to play games with women to get them to chase you, people were not validation whores which is a phase that I even went through as a man due to a large social media following on multiple platforms. It was just a better time. Maybe like the mid 90's.

CFinCanada · 2022-01-06T12:02:39+00:00

Ahahahahaha is it even a question?

There is no better time to be alive as a woman, and you can increase that 1000-fold if we're talking about women of colour. If the men in your community are horrible: sexist, unfaithful or abusive, you can literally just opt out of them entirely and choose other men, other women, or cats.

What a time to be alive.

BennyHillThemeStops · 2022-01-06T12:31:23+00:00

I'd choose to be born in the late 60s if I had the chance. If I was middle class, by the time I'm 30 I'd probably be married to either my first or second girlfriend. I'd be able to buy a good house in a good neighbourhood, the wife could work part time and raise kids. Life would be comfortable.

I'm in my late 20s and I have none of those things and perhaps never will.

666lucy6 · 2022-01-06T13:59:18+00:00

I would give anything to go back to the 20s or 50s. I want to wear cute dresses all day, taking care of 4 or 5 kids cooking cleaning, gardening. All in my own house and have those cute trees parties with other women drinking wine and baking cakes

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-01-06T14:26:34+00:00

I think I would’ve liked dating best in the recent past, like 1980s-90s. Things were much less sexist than in the prior decades, but OLD hadn’t taken over, and more people actually dated in a clear and intentional way. The current “well we have been seeing each other for ten years and have two kids together but we’re not officially dating yet I guess” thing is dumb to me. And it just seems like it was fun to be a young adult in that era. Now things are pretty heavy and depressing.

TheCaribbeanRedditor · 2022-01-06T15:47:31+00:00

I much prefer now than before.

As a black man my local and international options are much better than previous eras

DRPGgod · 2022-01-06T15:49:56+00:00

nah, great time to be me.

techr0nin · 2022-01-06T15:57:30+00:00

In terms of dating, I just wanna be born obscenely rich in any era.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-01-06T15:58:29+00:00

The early to mid 90s was a special window of time. If you knew how to behave like a man, open and warm, it was a FUCKING goldmine. Women extremely outside a guys league would be given a chance, I suspect because they had next to no information in determining "who" he really was. One was able to spin a story quite easily, it was even more about appearances and congruency.

Less leeway of being able to pull that off nowadays.

sarkington · 2022-01-06T16:12:24+00:00

Lol nope.

Rape every night doesn’t sound awesome

Reoblivion · 2022-01-06T17:25:53+00:00

Maybe 80s/90s/00s but I’m pretty good with todays era.

Thescruffybeard · 2022-01-06T17:42:37+00:00

I'll go against the grain a bit here and say yes. In any other era, I'd probably be considered a decent catch at least. Late 20's, financially stable and independent, annual income around the six figure range, fairly kind, empathetic, good natured. Quite unattractive facially though, and while I'm not obese or anything, i'm on the chubby side as well. And we all know those last two points are by far the most important things in modern dating.

salome66 · 2022-01-06T19:47:28+00:00

Now is the bet time ever to be a woman!

However, I would travel back in time to the regency era FOR ONE DAY ONLY, so that I would wear a regency gown! :P

Reddit_User_543mil · 2022-01-06T20:48:29+00:00

If not for modern medicine, I would’ve died young. So, I’d say I’m good right where I’m at.

divingrose77101 · 2022-01-07T03:20:44+00:00

I am so glad I’m a woman in this current era and in this culture. Any time before this was too oppressive and I wouldn’t be able to be me. I’m simply not acceptable to other times.

S0mnariumx · 2022-01-07T23:04:36+00:00

I think the 2000s were where I'd wanna be. Still had the internet but women just seemed nicer.

bees-and-stuff · 2022-01-13T08:32:18+00:00

Pft no id be so anxious if I couldn’t text my partner to see if he took his insulin.

But like for real it’s the best time in history to be a woman especially if you also like women. I brought home a girlfriend once, you think that would fly in many other time periods? Me and my long term partner are both disabled and in a lot of other time periods we wouldn’t be allowed to get married or have kids and we would probably have died by this point in our lives anyway

Shredddz · 2022-01-06T08:42:42+00:00

best time in human history was pre feminism becoming anti masculinity, anti genders, anti biology, male discrimination and hitting mainstream.

TheBookOfSeil · 2022-01-06T02:20:49+00:00

These questions are a bit pointless because we're here right now, not in some other timeline. I can't regret being born because it's not something I chose to do (as far as I'm aware). All we can do is make the best of our lives while alive.

lulll · 2022-01-06T04:05:49+00:00

i liked the 90s, i was a kid during it but i would have liked being an adult during it more. it was a great decade with all the tech that was being invented, women werent fucking crazy, and and it was right before everything got fucking destroyed by social media

Physical-Ask9399 · 2022-01-06T07:06:18+00:00

Part of me wishes I could have been born in the greatest generation so I could of had a real taste of masculinity before I was shipped off to die in war. But my effeminate masculinity that this generation has afforded me today allows me to drink and smoke everyday while holding my dignity so 🤷

womandatory · 2022-01-06T12:18:19+00:00

I’m grateful I was born in the 70s.

I have all of the freedoms that women do now thanks to the true feminist movement. The one that strove for liberation and equality instead of ‘empowerment’.

I have almost always been with men who escaped being raised on a constant diet of internet porn and video games, men who understand that equality doesn’t mean emasculating men, or treating them as inferior. Men who understood and appreciated the freedoms that feminism won for them - family and sick leave, recognition as a parent under the law for welfare and access to other supports, contraception leading to greater sexual freedom, redefining the definition of rape to include men as victims, women serving in emergency and military forces, and other benefits that were hard fought for and won by real feminism.

Men of my age mostly understand the difference between chivalry and sexism. Most of them reject liberal feminist dogma.

I know that women younger than me will have most of those same freedoms, but I think they face a lot worse issues in dating that I ever did - young men who feel entitled to their bodies, who feel entitled to degrading sex acts because of porn, who whine and sook about paying for a coffee date, but expect a wife who will cook and clean and still earn a full time salary. I feel sad that young women have to choose between keeping their dignity or having a relationship with a man, knowing that he’ll likely pressure her for nudes, and then share them with his boneheaded friends. I feel sorry that these young men will invest more hours in trying to reach level 26 in some stupid game than they will in actively parenting their own child, and that they’ll spend more on games and porn in a month than they will on their wife/gf’s birthday present once a year, and that she will probably have to shop for and pay for it herself anyway. Sad as fuck.

Fightingspirit12345 · 2022-01-06T12:40:53+00:00

You guys are making things hard

I see average and even ugly guy with decent looking and even beautiful women

These guys aren’t rich mind you they are either in the military/ financial stability or something

Yeah even my sisters date unattractive no style men and they are decent looking so idk man

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-01-06T16:18:20+00:00

I regret being born in this era for one reason—porn.

But I like that I have the choice to be single rather than be forced to date and/or marry a man who uses porn.

Turbo_superbike · 2022-01-06T19:11:08+00:00

Naah..This era is the best...Only thing I wish is that I was a bit younger...but not too much...I was born in 1985..Would have loved to be around 15 years younger but no more...You have so many resources online these days regarding soft and hard looksmaxxing, that anybody average really wont have much of a struggle getting a bit of casual fun on the side

Title	Q4A In terms of dating, do you regret being being born in the here and now rather than another era or culture?
Author	StarchRunner
Upvotes	20
Comments	262
Date	January 6, 2022 1:58 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rx2zoo/q4a_in_terms_of_dating_do_you_regret_being_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4a-in-terms-of-dating-do-you-regret-being-being.1094394 https://theredarchive.com/post/1094394

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