If women actually believed "only insecure" men care about their sexual history, then women wouldn't lie about it

lissssa-13 · 2022-02-27T00:55:15+00:00

Exactly. I always tell men my history because I don't want to date anyone who would care about it. Insecure women fuck themselves over in that way 100%

cholmanattom · 2022-02-27T16:06:10+00:00

I will go straight to the point, modern women will lie when they want to settle down with beta, average working men. Since those men generally have lower body count.

People just want to have the best of both worlds, have fun when young and safe and secure when older. My advice for average men (including myself) is just don't commit, then all their past means nothing to you.

WarezMyDinrBitc · 2022-02-27T16:43:12+00:00

They know that it effects pair bonding. I got banned from both relationship subs for even mentioning it, even though there are legitimate university sponsored and peer reviewed studies that show women with more casual partners have a much harder time pair bonding. They report less satisfaction in marriage as well, so it has a drastic effect on likelihood to divorce. Considering 70% of divorce is initiated by the woman, they have a lot of motivation to keep this knowledge from spreading.

minachan158 · 2022-02-26T20:32:26+00:00

As a 26 year old female virgin, I'll go grap my popcorn 🍿

Raju1461 · 2022-02-27T00:43:28+00:00

That's just a shaming trick. It will never make any logical sense.

One should have absolutely no problem revealing sexual history to a person who wants to commit to you.

Fit_East_3081 · 2022-02-26T21:00:03+00:00

What a surprise, women trying to normalize high sex counts because they don’t like feeling ashamed or lonely

Just find a guy that wants or is cool with someone with a slutty past

TheRealMekkor · 2022-02-27T16:34:32+00:00

The studies have been done to show that in EITHER men or women those who have more partners are more likely to unfaithful in a relationship. The men that really care are the ones that want a woman of integrity and value.

It's not fair but 2 things play a roll in this.

It is far easier for women to have sex then men, a woman could text every male colleague or friend in their phone for 'Netflix and chill' and get about a %90 return rate. So women having multiple sexual partners shows a lack of discipline and discernment.
For men it's difficult to rack up a high body count and in order to do so you either have to be a HVM or extremely genetically gifted. This shows a man's status as being more valuable. Since could argue that too high a body count for even this type of man could show poor impulse control and yada-yada.

Long story short, the purpose of sex is procreation, yes its fun and that's why it continues to be so successful in its objective. But ultimately if your trying to make sure your genetic material survives and has the best possible chance you are going to look for the healthiest mate (attractive) women are gonna look for stability and resources (protection) and men aren't looking to get trapped in a situation raising a child they think is their own but come to find out it's some side dick baby.

So this is why men choose women with lower body counts, I'm not insecure about who you've had sex with or their prowess in bed. Before I dedicate %50 of my estate in a legally binding contract I want to make sure you're committed and have integrity. I didn't generate the wealth and lifestyle I have now so I can be robbed and my wife could give my resources to another man. Men get screwed so bad in marriage, divorce, and child custody that it's no wonder we look for a 'perfect' woman we are just trying to hedge our bets as best we can. You only have 1 life and to get it all screwed up because you invested in the wrong person hurts, it's enough to bring a man to suicide.

Diddy_1978 · 2022-02-26T19:26:59+00:00

I don’t lie about mine but I also haven’t been a virgin in almost 35 years.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-02-27T08:48:06+00:00

I think its us men who want to be seen as "the best she ever had" but its hard to be that when you are #144 when there are 143 men (or women) who had their shot before you. Also I notice women lie when they have a sexual history when they did things they enjoy but turn around and be a borderline prude to their SO. Most times this is an example of Alpha fux Beta Bux situation. Us men are insecure bc whenever we get in an LTR with a woman with a sexual history, he's only going to get almost the bare minimum in bed. Never have the opportunity to get sex in a movie theater or oral in a busy mall parking lot bc she thinks its disgusting but has done it before many times. Does that spell "insecurity"? No, it just spells bullshit coming from her end.

wtknight · 2022-02-26T19:08:31+00:00

How many women still actually lie about it, though? Most women seem to claim that they're never asked, or they tell men that it's none of their business and next those guys.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-02-27T01:38:32+00:00

Every single woman saying they've never been asked and men don't care is absolutely hilarious and a lie.

Visible-Doughnut-782 · 2022-02-26T23:55:20+00:00

The reason why woman lie about their sexual history is they know deep down that the vast majority of men( “insecure” or the most confident men in the world) are repulsed by promiscuous woman when it comes to long term relationship prospects.

We can debate why most men feel this way till the cows come home. However what is more difficult to debate is that most men do indeed feel this. Woman know this to be inherently true and therefore it makes sense for them to be reluctant to discuss there sexual history. Whether or not it is right for them to be judged they will absolutely be judged by their partner. There is no getting away from it.

Also; discussing one’s sexual history in general is a pretty vulgar thing to do. Unless it’s a weird kink why would anybody actually want to know their partners body count? Most monogamous relationships come with an element of possessiveness. This is not a bad thing. It’s a perfectly natural human emotion. With this is mind no good can come from talking back how many cocks you have taken with your current partner.

FatmanSlim93 · 2022-02-26T21:07:50+00:00

Most times chicks are honest if you’re cool and not spazzing about it. Find out that way and then make a decision if you’re gonna date her or not. Worked for me and honestly I sucked at dating

Smergmerg432 · 2022-02-27T01:00:51+00:00

I don’t lie about it

figuringMylife · 2022-02-26T19:27:52+00:00

both my serious partners knew my history. and men i like that ask know. but im not gonna volunteer the info and i personally think any person going around shouting to the world about sexual history, or anything salary, lifestyle, etc, is lame or corny.

like sure brag accordingly and have fun. but it shouldn’t be annoyingly in nobody’s face unless it’s relevant

lout_zoo · 2022-02-26T20:11:00+00:00

If a woman actually believes "only insecure" men care about their sexual history, then usually she doesn't lie about it.
Unless she thinks you are insecure and either wants to get laid or still thinks you are worth getting to know anyway.

2022-02-27T00:20:00+00:00

Because, it's the women that are so insecure and ashamed of their behavior that they lie to everyone, including themselves.

My favorite is: "I didn't cheat on you. I just needed some attention that you didn't give me. It's your fault that I slept with your best friend..."

There's no accountability for poor decisions...Like, 1.30 am, at the bar, on ladie's night...LOL

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-02-26T21:38:45+00:00

Women collectively say "only insecure men would ask about my sexual history" as a shaming technique so that they can sleep around while keeping their potential Relationship Market Value (RMV) from dropping. Deep down, these women know damn well that a high-RMV man who cares about himself is going to care about her sexual history. And if she's ridden the cock carousel before, she's going to have to either to lie about it or own up and accept the decrease in RMV.

evaneli13 · 2022-02-27T04:30:28+00:00

I dated a girl for a few years. She was older than me. She said she has only been with 4 guys before me. From what she told me, she never cheated and I believed her.

Another girl I dated was a total slut. We dated for 5 years. She cheated on ne left and right.

So yeah. I want to have an idea of how many men a woman has been with before I get serious with them. I learned my lesson.

I am not insecure. I am just not bringing another hoe to meet my family.

Sexual liberation my ass.

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2022-02-26T21:22:46+00:00

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baresquad · 2022-02-26T18:58:27+00:00

I think they lie about it because y’all make way too much of a big deal out of it

I learned early it’s better to lie and (hopefully) be done with it than constantly be hounded by an obsessive person on it. Been there with my ex girlfriend constantly hounding me, and it’s hell

Y’all put people through hell. People are resorting to forms of escapism to avoid interacting with you. Let that sink in

_-One4All-_ · 2022-02-27T04:13:38+00:00

If they lie because the man is insecure then they are choosing to be with an insecure man, that makes no sense. If they lie knowing the man would be disgusted if he knew the truth, then they are choosing to be with a man who deep down is disgusted by them. The cognitive dissonance in the average feminist is wild.

Muffcakelord · 2022-02-27T04:36:17+00:00

If women's worth, respect and possibility for living, breathing and cotnributing in society through for example getting jobs didn't rely on their sexual history, they wouldn't lie about it

DiabloTheDreamer · 2022-02-26T20:02:58+00:00

Most women lie every second of every day, in what world do you live in bro??. Most average skinny-fa or fat women have 10-20 bodies on them easy...sad

gopher_glitz · 2022-02-27T00:52:12+00:00

"Sleeping with x number of men is nothing to be ashamed about"

Horrified at the thought of everyone knowing how many guys they've fucked.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-02-26T19:00:23+00:00

Is this another one of those "all women are alike" things? lol

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-26T20:05:48+00:00

Well that's part of the problem is that I think they genuinely do believe it, I've seen this shit pop up so much that it's such a societal shift I seen so many girls online say that if your boyfriend is uncomfortable with you having a lonely fans account, or doesn't like you posting thirst traps or whatever that you shouldn't let his insecurities hold you back, there's a lot of people with warped thinking out there, the ones that do lie about it or stretch the truth are just doing what feminist deception strategy teaches anyways

ohdiddly · 2022-02-27T02:37:58+00:00

I do believe that only insecure men care about n count. The very few times when it doesn’t boil down to insecurity are so rare that it’s not even worth mentioning imo.

AND I’ve never lied about my sexual history. Never.

That seems to be the general consensus of the women replying to this thread as well. What makes you think that the women who are confident about their sexual history would lie about it? You’re mixing up two different crowds of women into one.

Alburg9000 · 2022-02-27T02:44:30+00:00

I dont ask if I’m not planning in taking them seriously

Willow-girl · 2022-02-27T05:37:43+00:00

Some of us don't.

2022-02-27T14:18:11+00:00

Yes, I’m tired .

And you’re spot on.

Human nature, particularly females- They lie because they can

WorldWideButtCheeks · 2022-02-26T19:05:05+00:00

I dont understand why so many of you are so stuck on how many people somebody slept with. Ive NEVER asked or been asked by any guy ive ever dated or my husband. Its soooo weird and creepy to me, this KEEPS getting asked and constantly brought up. Normal men and women simply dont care.

ManWazo · 2022-02-26T20:55:04+00:00

Yet women do lie about their sexual history

A small minority of them do, mainly in more conservative crowd, but most of them don't.

Ou-tis · 2022-02-26T21:57:36+00:00

Women care only about consequences,not principles or morality. They lie in order to obtain what they want.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-02-26T19:40:38+00:00

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sunkized · 2022-02-26T20:59:22+00:00

I literally can't remember because I was so fked up last year

KamuiObito · 2022-02-26T22:19:31+00:00

Ong if women looked at it like this they’d get less shittt men but they are more complainers without actions type instead of trying different things to get different results hence why they find themselves having big numbers (sum might just have been a nut but ehh) bumping thier heads multiple times

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DisturbedBurger · 2022-02-26T20:37:45+00:00

To that I say love has no competition and I believe those men are bringing something other than their hearts into the relationship. But to TRP's credit, she probably is, too.

Dannybones895 · 2022-02-26T22:49:49+00:00

Eh I couldn’t care. Now if she has a history of cheating…best to hit it. Have some fun memories and move on.

Deidara-katsu · 2022-02-26T23:08:04+00:00

Everybody should just tell the n count

High-cr7 · 2022-02-26T23:35:13+00:00

virginity or low body count is rewarded one way or another , low body count put the person in a higher demand because that's what men want and respect , and with high demand and low offers there's a higher price , most men clinge to the idea "that women are angels " and sex will ruin her!! even here alot of men claim that they will give anything to a woman with low body count because she "deserve it" , i dont even know what she did to deserve that!!

Flintblood · 2022-02-27T03:11:08+00:00

Most men over 25 don’t expect a virgin but most probably don’t want a woman with 5-10x their n count. A man who’s only been with 5-10 women would probably feel oddly about committing to a women who has been with 50 men or more.

_that_dam_baka_ · 2022-02-27T04:50:52+00:00

This but both ways. Sexual history is indicative of a lot of things. Diseases. Irresponsible behaviour. Inability to commit.

Both men and women have the right to ask before computing and ditch based on whatever they want. And both are known to lie.

The excuse heard from both genders these days is, “It doesn't matter.”

The one from men in three past was, “I'm a man, so it doesn't matter.”

It MATTERS. Ew. The other person deserves to know where you've been (and how frequently) before committing. Or even touching you with a 10 for pole.

Also, likelihood of crazy exes increases with sexual partners (actually, probably not, but based on simple probability, maybe.)

.

I think it goes both ways though. Be upfront about how and why it matters to you (including “that's a deal breaker even several years into a relationship”) and even the don't ask don't tell crowd may be willing to be honest.

.

What I take issue with us actually this:

Lying/studiously avoiding even in the 1-1 context though. Sharing all kinds of intimate secrets and inner desires as people get to know each other and develop a relationship and even onward from there...everything is on the table, but this one thing?

You don't know that, actually. If she's still lying about it after you're conformable, either she's not as comfy as you, or she's not keeping count. This is the most common practice that I know of. If you think the other person is clean (which you can now verify via tests, and that's not a big ask).

Now the where and how (and who) can never really be checked and people who don't trust you assume you're lying about it no matter what. Thus, mind your own business.

You may wish to know about the number. I would want to know the situations and habits surrounding that. For many people, both are clubbed together.

A lot of people are in denial about the fact that there partner likely and baggage from old relationships, hence not asking seems like a great option to them.

TL; DR:

They don't trust you.
They don't keep track (and don't care to reflect.)

Kitchen-Afternoon589 · 2022-02-27T05:04:56+00:00

Why is this topic coming up literally every day???

RedHokk · 2022-02-27T10:17:55+00:00

Women also care about finding a suitable partner and not limiting their options. Women are aware n-count is relevant to most men.

feistykalorina · 2022-02-27T10:32:08+00:00

Bold of you to assume that women lie about it. I lost my virginity to my husband and every person before him men and women didn’t believe I was a virgin still at age 28 because I looked “too hot to be a virgin” according to them as if a woman would only be a virgin if no one wanted her it pissed me off to no limit.

that’s why I only dated virgin men and then I got tired of it because my ex at every fight he would say something like , “good luck finding another virgin man like me “and I thought to myself hmmm maybe I’m placing too much emphasis on a man sexual past and only when I decided to not judge a man by his sexual past and date non virgin men as long as they are not promiscuous and easy , then my dating pool became so big for that it allowed me to meet my soulmate

_Fat_Vag97 · 2022-02-27T18:44:35+00:00

So I've had several women lie about their sexual history and how many partners they had . Even a hookup last year , she was 30 , hot , and she said out of the blue that she only had 3 partners- but she fucked me a few days after I met her and fucked me the first night . Theres no way she's only had 3 partners . If she did - cool. But her volunteering that information to make me feel " special" that she's fucking with me and saying she's " pure " did not sit well with me . My ex said she originally only had 4 partners . Than 5 months later she slipped up and talked about another. Not to mention she cheated on me with 4 other guys and was simultaneously cheating on a couple of them , lying to all of them(nobody knew about the other)Highly doubt her body count was anywhere close to 4.

But honestly there's two reasons why women lie about this . The biggest one is slut shaming . They don't want a man to think she's a h#% . Unlike alot of guys, i'm for promiscuity . I don't really care about your body count , the only thing I care about is lying and infidelity ( bc if girls didn't like sex , how would single guys like me ever get laid ) - And 2 Is they want to prove to you that they're chasity isn't destroyed and their " pure ". So basically if they chose to give it up to you it's bc you're special somehow and that they wouldn't just give it up to anybody. I'm not the one to preach feminist views but this is fucked up and all of this is honestly a product of a millenia of controlling female sexuality and slut shaming .

It's retarded . How can you expect someone to be good in bed and know what they want if they haven't had experience . And more importantly how could you expect them to give it up to you , but if they gave it up to several others their somehow a h%$ ? It's the dumbest most hypocritical thing , and it's a part of red pill that I don't agree with . Bc how the hell do u expect to get laid when single when you expect women to not be sexually active , unless it's you? What makes you that special ? This type of mindset blows my mind .

YveisGrey · 2022-03-03T23:14:39+00:00

I don’t think its just about men, even other women will judge a woman for sleeping around too much. Nobody wants to be socially ostracized or viewed in a bad light. Also I think there is some conflation here the woman who believes men who care about n count are insecure is not necessarily the same woman who lies about n count to avoid being judged or rejected. Women aren’t a monolith.

throwmeinthesunshine · 2022-03-22T16:08:13+00:00

Mine will always be 5 ;)

Vtridolla · 2022-02-26T19:00:24+00:00

Everyone lies about their sexual history. It’s a non tangible measurement, that’s simply a fabricated social construct to shame people.

Like how some people view gender theory with their jokes on how they identify if they don’t believe in that thing is the same thing people do who don’t believe in the social construct of virginity and body count. Get tested and be safe. If they are clean what does it even matter?

toasterchild · 2022-02-26T20:03:30+00:00

I don't think all men who care are insecure but i think a lot of people who care are. I find caring about it a lot to be a red flag. If you care we're going to have a chat about why.

lout_zoo · 2022-02-26T20:39:14+00:00

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nemma88 · 2022-02-26T21:00:01+00:00

I don't think most men and women lie about it. I think some on the extremes who have their own notions of what should and shouldn't be do and they skew the rest of the data.

ffandyy · 2022-02-26T21:43:10+00:00

Most men are insecure though, and even if they aren’t there are other men that will use that information against you to try and hurt or tease you

2022-02-26T22:25:28+00:00

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hellobitchitsme · 2022-02-26T20:39:50+00:00

Evidence? I don't think many women lie about it anymore. I've never done so and I am one of these highly debated high n count females. Hell I was an escort for a while which I am also very open about and I was never rejected because of that by men who truly cared about me.

It's almost like people who care about you have sympathy for your past, no matter how deviant it might be...

etzio500 · 2022-02-27T01:07:36+00:00

Sexual history shouldn’t matter, all that should matter is if you’re healthy/clean as that affects your partner’s health directly

EugeneCezanne · 2022-02-27T01:22:37+00:00

I think it's probably fair to say that most women think most men are insecure about things like this, and actually do a lot of work to coddle us.

spacemanofthezone · 2022-02-27T20:46:45+00:00

I mean, people are allowed to have all kinds of standards, but do men IRL actually ask details? Men I've dated seriously NEVER asked or wanted to know details about my sexual history and I'm the same. We've discussed past relationships and what happened/worked/didn't work out in terms of value.

IMO wanting to know details about a lover's other experiences is just weird. Overly promiscuous people (men and women) usually have a reputation or blatantly advertise themselves as such, and they are easy to spot and avoid.

lout_zoo · 2022-02-26T19:38:41+00:00

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2022-02-26T21:13:57+00:00

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neetykeeno · 2022-02-26T22:16:22+00:00

Why does it have to be hidden away?

Some things are private...the default is not sharing and I share only when I feel it becomes warranted. What I have or have not done in bed and with who is one of those things that is by default, private.

I think a lot of the guys who desperately wish there was a sort by n count field on Tinder to help them avoid particular women also have things they regard as private by default. Like how many times they begged their ex girlfriend to come back. How many times they have paid for sex. Or indeed...their own n counts if the n count is out of line with what their hoped for sexual partners tend to prefer.

So suck it up buttercup... people do not start as open books to each other.

akallyria · 2022-02-26T22:33:50+00:00

Maybe we believe you’re all insecure.

Oooooooorrrrr, maybe we should all stop treating each other like we all belong to separate hive minds

JCSledge · 2022-02-26T23:29:01+00:00

I’ve never asked a partner how many people she’s been with. I don’t get why people think it’s such a big deal. Granted I’ve had one semi short relationship end early because she didn’t like my answer when she asked me how many partners I’ve had. I thought that was weird but if she had a problem with that then It’s good the relationship ended early.

goodpuffin · 2022-02-26T23:37:54+00:00

Women who lie about their sexual history and men who care about women’s sexual history are both insecure. Like, by definition. But your title reads like all women lie, which is so far from the truth. Sex positivity? That’s pretty much the norm IRL unless you are a boomer or religious or in a conservative wasteland.

2022-02-27T04:12:18+00:00

xxaasb · 2022-02-27T08:58:20+00:00

Maybe women who are insecure do lie and ones who aren’t don’t…

DeviledEggy · 2022-02-27T12:38:56+00:00

But I've Never lied about the number of people I've slept with? or my sexual history period. If a guys gonna get weird about it then he's not the one for me.

sebwiers · 2022-02-27T14:07:10+00:00

Yet women do lie about their sexual history.

Not to men they think are secure about it and actually care to know without judging them.

ImaginaryShine4938 · 2022-02-27T18:53:31+00:00

No need to lie about something that is none of your business. All men need to know is you don't have diseases.

2022-02-27T19:19:04+00:00

You miss another important thing. There are a lot of great men who are insecure. Insecure doesn't mean undateable. Even some celebrities may be insecure, like for example Deontay Wilder(he is very insecure about not being able to be top 1 boxer now despite being one of the best already) or Elvis Presley(who as I heard acted very insecure when Beatles came to America to rival his glory)

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-27T20:20:04+00:00

As women, we just want our sexual history to be treated like men's.

masochisticanalwhore · 2022-03-01T02:23:14+00:00

I don't think women do believe "only insecure" men care about their sexual history. Either that, or they do believe this, and don't care if he's an insecure fucktard, they just want his cock, in which case, she'll say whatever. Much like guys do, maybe not about their sexual history, but about, oh, anything else?

KickAss2021 · 2022-03-07T06:32:01+00:00

Create and finish the meme. Typical American has no attention to detail. No wonder Rooskies are having their way in Ukraine. (Inb4, what does Americans ineptitude have to do with a Singaporean analytical romantic website. It shows Americans aren't thinking things through.

KickAss2021 · 2022-03-07T06:39:29+00:00

@ dummy tale

It's more times than not. More than average. I'm sorry you're step dad hit you and gave you trauma, but please stop being an airhead

711beefpatty · 2022-03-08T00:11:38+00:00

Because they know they’ll get treated like trash for something that doesn’t matter by people who believe women are an object who’s value decreases when it’s used, rather that a living breathing human being.

ConversationNo7177 · 2022-03-08T06:53:50+00:00

I fall under the don’t ask don’t tell group, and honestly it’s because it can be an invasive question, could be a complicated question for some, and as long as you’re clean and safe that’s all that matters

Psychological-Box881 · 2022-03-16T06:15:02+00:00

Egos as fragile as a flower petal. Anyone got a peer reviewed study that supports OP’s claim? I’m curious to see what percentage of women lie about n-count and how such a study is conducted.

2022-03-25T06:52:28+00:00

I dont get what is the problem if a woman had a quite eventful sexual history? I mean men screw and brag about it all the time so i dont get why women are judged for theirs? And please dont compare this to i dont even know what imbalance in society male your point across.

Title	If women actually believed "only insecure" men care about their sexual history, then women wouldn't lie about it
Author	Additionalparties
Upvotes	459
Comments	483
Date	February 26, 2022 6:54 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t247z9/if_women_actually_believed_only_insecure_men_care/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-actually-believed-only-insecure-men-care.1102770 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102770

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