Weight vs height, is a huge double standard

onirroc · 2023-08-24T13:35:59+00:00

It's fine to not be attracted to short people and to not be attracted to fat people.

No one should be pressured to date someone they don't find attractive.

BigCollectionFor · 2023-08-24T14:45:25+00:00

A womans age is a better equivalent for a mans height. It is important and unchangeable.

RidingRedHare · 2023-08-24T13:33:52+00:00

I am 6 ft, but my gf has said if I was shorter, she wouldn't have dated me.

She has told you who she is. Why are you dating her?

esdebah · 2023-08-24T13:48:07+00:00

Yeah. Both are rude. If you have a preference, be polite and say, sorry not my type.

MotherPermit9585 · 2023-08-24T15:33:16+00:00

Why are you dating your girlfriend if she’s that shallow? Does she have any other redeeming qualities?

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-08-24T16:36:52+00:00

" I am 6 ft, but my gf has said if I was shorter, she wouldn't have dated me."

Why do you pick such crappy women???

The majority dont care. Confirms my belief most PPD men just choose the most toxic woman and generalize to the rest of us.

MarBitt · 2023-08-24T14:10:17+00:00

"How tall are you?"

"Height: 5'11, Weight: 180 pounds. Is it alright? What about you? What is your height and weight?"

I don't think it's a problem to ask. The only problem is if it feels like you're retaliating for her question with your question. And yes, if she responds with something along the lines of "never ask a woman her weight", then it's okay to set boundaries in that she started with questions about physical proportions and you're interested in hers.

NoCardiologistz · 2023-08-24T13:34:50+00:00

You can't change your height - it's genetic. That's EXACTLY why it's so important.

Weight - you can change your weight - your weight is an elective feature (it's your choice to be fat, fit, or whatever). And that is PRECISELY why people get angry when you ask how much they weight - it's the fact that it is a CHOICE. And they feel attacked for their choices.

That's exactly why people feel offended when asking their weight - it's their intimate choice what they eat, how active they are, and so on. So it's a personal attack on their CHOICES. You can't blame me because I really, really, really like donuts.

On the other hand, you can laugh at short people, PRECISELY because they can't control it, and it's not their choice.

Novadina · 2023-08-24T15:20:51+00:00

I can’t lower my weight, I’m a perfectly acceptable weight despite some men’s fetish for a specific number on the scale. Most men that asked me my weight online don’t actually understand how weights work I think. They seemed to desire someone 100-120lbs, and didn’t realize height affects it, I’d be unhealthy if I was that weight. Men who asked my weight were usually the ones with this fetish, and they usually just got upset I wasn’t in that range and would then not actually meet me and accuse me of being “too fat” - despite me listing my height on my profile, which put together is obvious I’m slim. Plus before surgery my boobs were 10lbs total, men don’t seem to get that either. Lots of men don’t even think it’s possible to be slim with big boobs, they think it means I’m fat or have implants, and accuse me of lying or photoshopping my pictures…

I prefer men around my height or taller. It doesn’t mean I’m “judging” them, and I don’t really care if you can change it or not, I don’t really see what that has to do with anything in regards to dating? Most things I have preferences for are probably not changeable - for example I also would only date smart men, I don’t think that is super changeable. I prefer introverts as it’s more compatible with me, and I don’t think that’s changeable.

I cannot make myself 100-120lbs, and that is some men’s preference. I cannot make myself shorter, and most men prefer a woman shorter than themselves. I cannot make myself be into cleaning, and lots of men want a woman who enjoys cleaning up after them. I cannot change myself to be into pregnancy and lots of men want a woman who wants to do that.

Attraction includes lots of traits that are unchangeable, it doesn’t matter, it’s not like some is a bad person or I am judging them as less than just because they aren’t compatible with me or I’m not attracted to them.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-08-24T15:10:30+00:00

Height looks the same across the board. You line up a dozen 6 ft dudes, their height is all consistent.

You line up a dozen women who weigh 180 lbs.... none of them will look the same. Some will look fit as fuck. Some will be thin.. some will be chubby.

I swear, it's like the men here lack critical thinking and just find things to be upset about.

MidoriEgg · 2023-08-24T14:28:12+00:00

People shouldn’t have to date people they aren’t into either due to weight or height.

But I think anyone who puts those specific preferences in their dating profile or is very vocal about it is kind of a dick.

It might of been acceptable a few years ago for women to say ‘nobody under 6ft’ but if you say that publicly now you’ll get the same ire men do when they publicly say ‘nobody over 200lbs’ or whatever

GrassToucher29 · 2023-08-24T15:12:06+00:00

I just find that many men have unrealistic ideas about how much women actually weigh.

Like people usually assume I’m 20lbs lighter than I am; if someone on a dating app asked how much I weigh (especially if they didn’t ask how tall I am), they might be weirdly assumptive and turned off by the answer.

I was gonna say they should just go off of my pictures and not be so obsessed with the actual number on the scale, but then again, there are women who catfish and are much fatter than they appear in their pictures. So idk

waditdo · 2023-08-24T15:48:17+00:00

Sadly Heightism is alive and thriving. It's even something that's seen as a positive and pushed by women. I try to point out to them that's it's discrimination, not that different from Racism, except Racism is NOT socially acceptable and Heightism impacts all races. And apparently it's not just on the romantic front. I heard taller people get better jobs.

Now I understand some of the reasoning. Maybe from hunter gatherer days they wanted taller in order to see further down and spot enemies? Or maybe taller SEEMED to provide more protection. But we have brains and the ability to reason. A taller male won't protect you much more than anyone else (but rather someone who's learned to fight). Women say they want taller so their kids are taller so they can take on those advantages that society allows for.

But really I think it good to point out this discrimination.

And when they say "it's just a preference", I'd say "maybe you should question your preferences". Like someone who says "I don't date anyone who's not X race", perhaps that person should think about expanding their horizons given their position is irrational.

Thank you for your post though. Would like to see a world where height doesn't matter and everyone is conscious of their diet and perhaps society pushes a healthier diet versus processed food crap

SuperCrazy07 · 2023-08-24T15:55:15+00:00

I don’t understand the obsession over this. I knew a guy who was 5’2 and really struggled (though he’s now married), but other than that????

I know lots of men under 6’. They almost all have girlfriends and wives. And the ones who don’t are really obese not short.

The number of women in the real world who make a big, vocal deal about height is practically zero.

If I did run into someone who made a really big deal about liking my height (6’1), I’d probably move on unless she was crazy hot.

I mean, if you’re too short for her preferences just next her. If some chick said she only dates dudes 6’2 and over, i mean, oh well. Im not going to post endlessly on it.

(And, yeah, I’m not going to stick my dick in an obese chick. But, I’m also not going to ask her her weight. Wtf?)

Financial_Chemist286 · 2023-08-24T16:40:30+00:00

Some people only want to date people with blue it green eyes.

demedermidimi · 2023-08-24T13:38:31+00:00

caring about a controlable physical trait doesn't make you less shallow than someone who cares about an incontrollable physical trait, that's not what shallow means. go ahead and ask women you're interested in how much they weigh, but unfortunately it won't tell you much. a woman can be 150 pounds and look stick thin if she's wide shouldered and tall, and she can be 120 pounds and look chubby if she's short and stores her weight in the stomach. a 6 foot tall guy is a 6 foot tall guy.

Zombombaby · 2023-08-24T14:05:10+00:00

It's called having "tact".

If you are saying "me preference is the only valid preference and you're disgusting if you don't meet my specific criteria" then you're just an asshole. If you go on a date, or get offered one from one and you find out you're not attracted to the other participant, why would you rub it in their face?

I've been turned down before and as long as the guy was kind and not an asshole about it, there was no problem.

dyngladfel · 2023-08-24T16:00:03+00:00

So what if you can do something about your weight? I prefer taller men. As a short fat woman, I don't struggle to get them. I don't ask anyone their height mind. It's not a double standard it's called attraction.

harmonica2 · 2023-08-24T13:52:53+00:00

One time a woman asked me how big my d$#k was and I responded by asking her how big her v#$#@a was, if that was a good response?

mumblebumblegrumble · 2023-08-24T17:23:11+00:00

My 2 cents, you can't control attraction. If a woman has no attraction for guys shorter than her, she shouldn't date them. If a guy has no attraction for fat chicks, he shouldn't date/ have sex with them.

Also, just because someone has no attraction to a certain type, it does not make that less attractive person a bad person and they shouldn't be treated badly for being less attractive.

itsokiloveu · 2023-08-24T18:12:07+00:00

24F who happens to be 5’9 (my whole family is quite tall)

Due to my above average height, I personally look for men who are at least 5’10 which is just an inch taller than myself.

I have never understood why tiny/petite women need men a foot taller than them… if I happen to be born short I would happily date a short king. There’s no need for your partner to be 10 inches taller than you lol

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2023-08-24T14:04:42+00:00

It's not a double standard.

Women who want tall men should be free to date tall men — just as men who want slim women should be free to date slim women. It happens all the time in real life and those of us who date within our preferences don't care about external validation.

But hint at asking about any weight, immediately you're an asshole who has no sympathy

I mean... who cares?

If someone's not your preference, just unmatch/stop seeing them and move on with your life.

KaptainBrix · 2023-08-24T16:56:31+00:00

It's not a matter of height vs weight, it's male vs female reaction to being looked at as unattractive.

It's the same reason why if you're talking to a group of women, and you call a guy ugly, they will laugh, but if you call a woman ugly, they will crucify you.

It's in our caveman brain, back in those years when a woman was considered unattractive it meant she will die of hunger, will never have kids, and won't survive.

Beauty and looks is the only power that women have according to our caveman brains, and we are still wired that way, at least for women (especially average women) can't afford being looked at as unattractive.

But for men, we can survive and have always survived without beauty or looks, that's why we get no sympathy.

TheIncredibleHarry · 2023-08-24T15:18:35+00:00

It’s not a double standard at all

MistyMaisel · 2023-08-24T15:39:30+00:00

I think a lot of this just depends on your perspective, being honest.

If your perspective is that it is worse to be critical or interested in something people cannot change, then you are going to say height. However, one could counter that if you cannot change it, there's no reason to see it as some deeply painful criticism of you. It's not. This person simply is seeking something else that you are not. And it is not a criticism of you as a person that you are not a thing. No more than a person who loves oranges is criticizing apples. They aren't. They just want oranges.

If your perspective is that it is worse to be critical or interested in something people can change, then you are going to say weight. After all, this is something people can change and therefore their lack of change is what is being criticized. It is on some level a deeply personal attack on them which height would not be based on this perspective. It could of course be countered that because they can change this, they should not take it as a deeply personal criticism as it is not a true factor of them personally, but rather a choice they are making.

In my personal opinion, the weight criticism is obviously more hurtful to someone who has self-acceptance of their unchangeable features, but not matters they have choice in. The height criticism is obviously more hurtful to someone who is still insecure about their unchangeable features, but is at ease with matters they have choice in because they believe they've selected the appropriate choices.

For me personally, if you criticized my height, I would laugh you out of town and it would mean nothing to me. If you criticized my weight, I would feel hurt as I have worked to be skinny and athletic and maintain this panther-like physique. So if you disliked that, I would feel truly judged.

Sirenic_P1 · 2023-08-24T16:38:29+00:00

If her weight starts with a 2, sorry no date

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-08-24T16:44:50+00:00

True you cannot change your height.

BUT WOMEN cannot change their body type (where you store fat)

Whenever I see men say that they care about weight I know they mean body type instead. They are just not knowledgeable enough about weight and women's shapes to know this so they dont say this. 90% of men will pick a woman slightly overweight, in terms of BMI, who has an hourglass shape over a woman at a healthy BMI who doesnt have that shape.

An hourglass or hourglass pear hybrid body shapes are what the vast majority of men prefer. Very few women (less than 20% of all women) naturally have this shape. Its why so many women in Hollywood diet down then get boob and butt jobs. We cannot dictate where we store our fat. Men actually prefer women who are fat, just fat in certain areas only.

So women's is genetic too OP.

NakedStreets · 2023-08-24T13:42:05+00:00

In what possible situation does it make any rational sense to ask someone their weight??

dbz__f · 2023-08-24T13:53:14+00:00

Honestly I agree. Weight has to do with health, height has nothing to do with health. You can be 5'7" and work out regularly, take care of your body, have great endurance and well functioning heart and lungs. If you're obese, you're just killing yourself. You're cutting your life span short by refusing to take care of your body.

shanshkrishur · 2023-08-24T18:26:40+00:00

my gf has said if I was shorter, she wouldn’t have dated me

Bro why are you dating an absolute piece of shite? Is the pvssy really worth it?

She basically told you to your face that who you are as a human being, your personality, your essence, even your other physical features have no worth to her unless it met an arbitrary metric of exactly 6 feet (and up). It also shows she doesn’t think for herself and is low IQ because can she really tell the difference between 5’11, 5’11.5, and 6’? She just chose a metric that other low IQ morons around her chose, meaning she doesn’t think for herself.

If I sound harsh, then I’ll tell you something about an ex GF’s. One of them told me that she would dump me if I ever became overweight, and that made me immediately see her as just recreational use only, because no serious person worth their salt would have a long-term relationship with someone like that. In that moment I broke up with her in my mind and started dating other women because I wanted to replace her, but still kept that “gf” around because of the sex. Eventually another woman did her replace her and I dumped her ass in the gutter where it belongs.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-08-24T14:03:55+00:00

Behaving differently about two different things isn't a double standard. The comparison would be weight and weight or height and height. Most people are more private about their weight and less likely to know it, for one thing, making it not directly comparable. If you're asked your height you can tell or say you're not comfortable sharing, but responding with a weight question instead comes across as confrontational.

YveisGrey · 2023-08-24T17:10:09+00:00

It’s not really a double standard since you can also ask a woman what her height is without being offensive. Also it’s not considered okay to ask a man his weight especially a visibly fat man. In general weight is considered a touchy subject for men and women. I don’t think men are judged much less than women for being fat in terms of dating like if a man is fat most slim women won’t want to date him.

Careless_Side_2158 · 2023-08-24T14:19:52+00:00

Weight has been used as a way to dehumanize people in a way that height has not and I think that is the big difference here. Someone might say I wouldn't date a fat person but you don't usually here someone say I will not date a 250 pound person. 250 pounds looks different on different men. 6 foot looks like 6 foot on every man.

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WillyDonDilly69 · 2023-08-24T15:31:17+00:00

Yes women are more shallow when they ask about height because it is not enough for them THAT A GUY IS TALLER THAN THEM but it has to be taller than a specific number because of stigma they asociated collectively towards shirter dudes than a specific number.

Usually guys asks about weight when the woman acts like an asshole.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-08-24T17:43:20+00:00

It's also just not that equal of a comparison. Some women same height/weight will look better than others because their fat will deposit it's self in more attractive areas. Titties, ass, thighs, etc. Others will be in their arms, belly, face, neck, etc.

Height is just height. It doesn't really matter. I have women come and ask me how tall I am all the time because I'm tall. I've never asked a woman how much they weigh though. Shouts outs to all the short kings too.

beleidigtewurst · 2023-08-24T17:52:07+00:00

While you are right about the double standards applied here, also note that while some characteristics are immutable, we cannot change how we feel about them.

eye_of_gnon · 2023-08-24T18:06:33+00:00

People can tell how tall/fat someone is just by looking, i don't know why they bother asking

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-08-24T18:10:37+00:00

My answer always is: “lying down or standing up?”

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-08-24T18:10:42+00:00

My answer always is: “lying down or standing up?”

neinhaltchad · 2023-08-24T18:33:29+00:00

It’s not a double standard in the sense that men and women are different. (Women are hypergamous and men are less sexually selective)

However, It absolutely is a double standard when seen through the lens of the modern woke / feminist / SJW lense.

As you can see ITT, women trying to hamster things like “zomg a 250 lbs 5’4 woman might carry her weight differently!” etc

They also ignore the bigger point of OP. That is, the societal acceptance of women roasting men for their height and the outright demonization of men who dare to not be attracted to Lizzo as “scared little boys who can’t handle a real woman” etc.

As ever, men’s desires are problematic, unrealistic and fetishes while women’s desires are mere “preferences”

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2023-08-24T19:16:36+00:00

It’s perfectly ok to have preferences for either height or weight.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-08-24T22:07:46+00:00

Both are fair preferences but not really polite opening questions. Imo the main issue here is that you can pretty clearly see from photos if someone is fat or not, but you can’t always judge height.

HitEmWittheBooey · 2023-08-28T01:08:51+00:00

Why do men seek these terribly superficial women anyway? If a woman puts height before personality, she’s shallow and I want nothing to do with her anyway. I’m glad women are more open about their crazy preferences. It makes the bullet easier to dodge. Superficial people are obsessed with how strangers in Society see them. I used to date a woman like that. Everything was about Insta and how we will look as a couple to strangers. That relationship didn’t make it 2 months. I want a woman who chooses personality above all. I want a woman who doesn’t give a fuck how strangers view her or “how we’ll look together” That shit is so high school.

Title	Weight vs height, is a huge double standard
Author	Alive-Kaleidoscope63
Upvotes	76
Comments	333
Date	August 24, 2023 1:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/160212i/weight_vs_height_is_a_huge_double_standard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/weight-vs-height-is-a-huge-double-standard.1229591 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229591

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