The real truth about women and nice guys

MikeArrow · 2023-11-16T15:14:45+00:00

The problem with nice guys is they were told to never make things sexual because it could make someone uncomfortable. But how are you supposed to strike up a romance if you’ve shut off the sexual part of yourself.

JDWhiz96 · 2023-11-16T13:57:37+00:00

Womens' attraction to a man feeds off of emotional polarity. if a guy is a good guy, nice, stable, he is going to be less polarizing for a women. this will be misconstrued as "I just don't feel a romantic connection, I'm confused, etc". in this case, the women is truly dissapointed in herself for not feeling that "rush" - which is basically conflating feelings of anxiety with feelings of attraction.

It is a complete truth that a stable good guy (no, not even nice guy..but a GOOD stable guy) is less arousing to women that a man who is off kilter and keeping her on her toes.

I don't care what women say, its the damn truth. I've dated enough to know this.

Ok_Cycle225 · 2023-11-16T17:25:04+00:00

I'm probably a "nice guy". Although I wouldn't insult a woman if she rejected me.

I just want someone who wants to experience life with me and who gets on with me sexually and in every other way. I don't expect it either. If I die alone then I die alone.

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2023-11-16T13:52:21+00:00

Ignore all the obtuse and pedantic people in the comment section with nothing better to do that to come and poke on someones damaged mental health thinking they re somehow morally superior for it just because it is socially acceptable to bully men psychologically.

Look, the real truth is that nice guys, although good on paper, they lack a lot of qualities that make men attractive, when i say attractive im talking pure raw genuine attraction, not pragmatic attraction, women dont say that in hopes of being manipulative or whatever, they simply were also taught thats what a nice guy is and thats what they re supposed to be attracted to.

Besides, most nice guys dont do acts that are particulary nice to women, paying the bill, showering her with gifts, praising her, treating her like a queen wether she deserves it or not, none of those things make you a better or worst person, sure they make you somewhat of a gentleman, but not doing those things dont make you a moral failure or whatever.

Why most women arent attracted to the nice guy? Well, picture this, imagine a woman who wants a relationship with you but you dont find her attractive for whatever reason, she comes and makes you gift, or she praises you a lot, or she thinks you re hot shit, or she adulates you, maybe she treats you to an expensive dinner, would you find her more attractive for that? Of course not, women are the same, you cant negotiate attraction with them, but it is normal if you believe that when that message is constantly ingrained into you ever since you were a kid, many times we get taught that we can somehow buy the love of a woman by behaving like her boyfriend since first second, no, that cant compesate for a lack of confidence, assertiveness, charisma, personality, physical fitness etc.

Also many guys who display nice behavior usually were raised under an upbringing where they were only loved if they were on their nicest behavior, otherwise they parents would ignore them and neglect them, so thats how they learn that they should behave "nice" otherwise people wont love them, thats why when nice guys dont get results they double down on the nice behavior hoping that people dont bully them and that women love them and praise them the same way mommy did when he behaved, go to therapy if this is your case.

On a side note is quite funny how blue pillers always make all sort of excuses for women who have mental health problems, that they just want love and their upbringing made them like that, but when it comes to men they re just evil manipulators with ulterior motives who deserve to be hated, any doubt they just get high by psychologycally abusing weak men? Any more doubts society doesnt tolerates weakness on men?

mrk68 · 2023-11-16T13:26:19+00:00

I’m old enough now where my entire dating pool is divorced women. The horror stories I am hearing from them. Of course I’m only getting one side of it but…

The last woman I met was at a social event. We separated off from the main group and ended up talking a long time. Her bad boy ex-husband cheating on her for years, with dozens of women. Now she can’t even trust another man. A perfectly nice woman, still relatively in her prime, but now psychological ruined by a bad choice. It may take years for her to trust again. Precious time wasted.

It begs the question, if women put in as much effort to choose a man with good character as she does her appearance (hair, nails, makeup, outfits, diet), what would the dating landscape look like?

Not every nice guy is a guy with good morals, but it seems to me that the odds are better that you have a more stable relationship with a nice guy rather than a bad boy. Women just need to think about their future more.

Known-Damage-7879 · 2023-11-16T13:10:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ATasteofTx214 · 2023-11-16T13:50:19+00:00

You are SUCH a great guy! You will make a great boyfriend" or "some woman will be lucky to have you!"

Yes, a woman that doesn't prioritize arousal, a woman that needs your resources, a woman with low self esteem that needs your niceness, etc...

It's only recently that men expressed resentment toward beta buxxing; those women were anticipating needy post-wall being ur time to shine

Medium_Listen_9004 · 2023-11-16T17:05:30+00:00

Nope. Younger women are into fun and getting their itch scratched.

Older women are more into connecting and sharing a life with someone.

It's not that he's an azzhole, it's that she finds him physically attractive.

A lot of younger women also don't know what they're doing. They often mistake attraction and attachment to love when it's actually a combination of fear and unhealthy entitlement.

Fofotron_Antoris · 2023-11-16T18:04:00+00:00

> I watched my own sisters, who grew up in a good home and were well educated, go through a phase where they dated complete assholes and totally rejected or friendzoned any nice guys they met. They ended up marrying nice guys in the end but only because it was time to settle down.

Alpha fux, beta bux.

Schmurby · 2023-11-16T15:35:28+00:00

At last the real truth is available.

I’ve been so confused 🫤!

FoggyDanto · 2023-11-16T14:30:07+00:00

This is true for young people, after a certain age the “nice guy” leaves the friend zone and becomes potential “husband material”. I prefer the friend zone

JNRoberts42 · 2023-11-16T14:43:12+00:00

Many women are attracted to men who they know are poor choices and bad news but they also don't want to own the social and moral repercussions of that.

If men don't like particular women's choices, men shouldn't pay any attention to those women. Yet they do, because frustrated men are speaking specifically about women they find attractive.

Any men want to explain why they castigate women for their interest in men they find appealing, while also obsessing over women they find appealing? Why pay any attention to those women?

Oh, yeah. Because they are hot.

LillthOfBabylon · 2023-11-16T13:48:05+00:00

Many women are attracted to men who they know are poor choices and bad news but they also don't want to own the social and moral repercussions of that.

Guys do the same thing.

Guys will talk about how they don’t care about a woman’s income and then cry about alimony being a societal evil.

So they created this narrative that they are attracted to the socially acceptable nice guy because it made THEM look better.Now we have many woman and bluepill men saying nice guys are toxic or passive aggressive and feel they are owed something by women for being nice.

r/NiceGuys proves it. Even Elliot Rodger proved it and he also listened to red pill ideology.

If nice guys feel they are owed anything, it's not because they are nice, it's because so many WOMEN in their lives from female family members to friends, told them things like "You are SUCH a great guy! You will make a great boyfriend" or "some woman will be lucky to have you!"

If he an adult still blaming other people for his bad mindset, he’s mentally a child.

Meanwhile, they get friendzoned and women continue to date guys who are bad news over and over again.

Why is every woman you know dating people like that?

Too many of us have witnessed this and seen it happen so often that we can't be gaslit anymore.

Because you choose the hyper focus on those women. You’re telling me that you don’t know any good men that are happily married?

I watched my own sisters, who grew up in a good home and were well educated, go through a phase where they dated complete assholes and totally rejected or friendzoned any nice guys they met. They ended up marrying nice guys in the end but only because it was time to settle down.

That tells me nothing. You just use a bunch of words that can have multiple meanings for people.

I've watched friends struggle with dating and then start acting like assholes to get success. I could never do that so I did the passport thing and met a wonderful traditional woman.

Oh, this has nothing to do with actual niceness. You just wanted minimal effort in courting women beyond doing nice things for her.

It was never about nice guys who thought they were owed something,

It was.

it was always about women who made bad choices and instead of owning them they gaslit nice guys into thinking they were the ideal.

You’re doing the same thing. You’re chasing women who clearly don’t want a good man and you’re gaslighting women into thinking that all of them never wanted a good man.

When the nice guys started waking up to this, largely with the advent of the redpill movement, the narrative changed to "nice guys are toxic and feel they are owed something for being nice". It's just neeeverrr women's fault!

r/NiceGuys

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-11-16T13:51:29+00:00

Why won't the shitty women that chase abusers date me?? I'm such a nice guy for chase women with personal problems or changing to get the kind of women i want. That's why. Yes, it's entitlement. You're bitching about women doing exactly what men are whining about. Women that don't chase bad boys exist.

ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-11-16T13:09:28+00:00

Strange argument. My mother constantly told me I'll make a great athlete one day, but I'm not there crying to Olympic judges that I deserve the world and fries with that. Time to look in the mirror and critically evaluate yourself and learn to separate reality from parents' aspirations, what can I say.

2023-11-16T14:30:37+00:00

This is true for young people, after a certain age the “nice guy” leaves the friend zone and becomes potential “husband material”. I prefer the friend zone

Schmurby · 2023-11-16T15:35:33+00:00

At last the real truth is available.

I’ve been so confused 🫤!

Safinated · 2023-11-16T18:19:54+00:00

It’s very simple.

If you’re not getting mad that your niceness doesn’t get you things, you’re not a NiceGuy^TM

harmonica2 · 2023-11-16T13:34:02+00:00

Why can't nice guys just become assholes since women like assholes better? For example I used to be a nice guy but then I realized I had to be rebellious and standoffish to attract women.

There is a nice guy I know who asked me for advice on how to get women but he refuses to do this and still wants to be nice. So he wants to have his cake and eat it too it seems. But why is this true for some guys if it is, instead of just accepting to let the ends justify the means?

Consistent_Ad3181 · 2023-11-16T15:08:43+00:00

Lots of women love drama, they love gossip and to be in the middle of social chaos. They are naturally drawn to men who can provide this. It's this simple. They get something to talk about with their friends it's a form of currency with females. Nice guys are boring and predictable.

FoggyDanto · 2023-11-16T15:26:43+00:00

Nah young women are looking for fun. They are still being fed and given money by their parents. So they're only looking for that adrenaline rush.

They don't need a nice stable rationale husband-material guy at that stage. They are looking to party, have fun, get the thrill like there's no tomorrow

However, whereas a man being a bad boy would get her lots of young beautiful girls, it would be detrimental to his career, and unless he has a talent - sports / music etc, he will be very broke later on for wasting his years focusing on women.

But as a man you could still have your cake and eat it too, i.e be a magnet to women and at the same time keep your career in track. You'll need to learn attraction, learn the art of seduction, be fun, be confident and make yourself handsome, while still working on your career

2023-11-16T21:39:17+00:00

You're absolutely right about that last part. No matter what, it's just never a woman's fault. They can do no wrong. And if anyone says otherwise, they're misogynist!

Never understood the "nice guy" thing. Most of the supposed nice guys I met weren't in fact nice. They were nice with women they liked, but that energy didn't carry through with everyone else, thus not making it genuine.

If anyone calls themselves a nice guy I'd be weary. That's an orange flag. Because you don't call yourself something, you just BE that something. If you truly ARE that something, then people will think you indeed are a nice guy and indeed do deserve someone good.

But you also have to have some masculinity. Some balls. Not be a pushover. Have your own thoughts and beliefs. It doesn't mean being an asshole is the way, but show some strength and a some indifference. Have a cool head.

I TRY to be nice. But I'm no nice guy. I'm a reformed asshole who can still tap into it if someone orders it. And yeah, maybe it helped me. People have said I carry a BDE (and maybe it doesn't hurt that it is indeed kinda big)

GreatSmashPlayer · 2023-11-17T00:02:58+00:00

Niceness doesn't matter when it comes to sexually attracting women. You can be nice, or be not nice, and still get laid. What's important is masculine frame, confidence, social awareness, and willingness to act on your social awareness and escalate sexually when it's desired.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-11-16T19:12:21+00:00

All wrong. You know nothing about women, dating, or nice guys.

leosandlattes · 2023-11-16T13:38:57+00:00

Growing up all the adults in my life told me I could become anything I wanted to be - I’m now neither an astronaut, the President, or a famous singer. I’m OWED I tell you, NASA better call me by the end of the day today. 😡

flosterjenkins · 2023-11-17T01:45:13+00:00

OP I cannot take you and the petulant manchildren on PPD seriously. I get being judgy of someone's bad partner choices, I don't get the multiple paragraph essays recurring on PPD and screaming into the void about how all women suck, reaction to it.

If a woman is less fuckable to you bc of her dating history, because she's "used goods" by being abused by a bad boy, you are not forced to date her. you are not impacted by whether she is fuckable, dateable, or presentable to you.

If a woman is less fuckable to you, who cares. I don't feel bad for you, you are just not that important. All strangers, male or female, have no responsibility to suck up to you and be fuckable/dateable/compatible to you. so what's the rage with not getting what no one promised you anyway?

Furthermore, being horny for dumb dangerous shit is not morally wrong, or a behavior specific to women. I'm wondering if all of this is pure projection. OP probably knows that men simp for toxic, abusive, even criminal women all the time. if you're pretty and you stab your bf in the stomach, you'll have an army of yandere loving weeb simps by the time you leave jail.

Familiesarenations · 2023-11-16T16:16:36+00:00

Women don't care what you think about their dating choices, so why would they pick a partner based on how it makes them look? Obviously these men are genuine nice guys TO THEM, and not to you. Nobody is making you date them.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-11-16T17:59:49+00:00

" Many women are attracted to men who they know are poor choices and bad news"

FALSE. Very odd all my exes before my husband...between 3 months-10months into dating it was then that I realized they were poor choices hence they are exes. With none of them I knew upfront they were poor choices. I wouldnt purposefully pursue someone who is a bad choice.

Newsflash: People do not walk around with their flaws written on their forehead, people put up a facade all the time in new relationships (not just dating either, friends do this, also workers do this hence why many jobs have "probation periods" you realize studies show new hires put on facades too dear?) people take time to show their "true selves" Yes some people are stupid and show them right away but not everyone does. If everyone immediately showed their real selves and no period for vetting needed to exist, the Holocaust would have never happened. Hitler did NOT show his flaws right away. One could also make the argument right now with Gaza and Israel that Hamas would have never been elected either, they didnt show their "true selves" right from the get go.

Willow-girl · 2023-11-17T00:55:24+00:00

It's because bad boys cut to the chase while nice guys diddle around trying to figure out if they dare to hold our hand, lol.

Just shoot your shot already!

emorizoti · 2023-11-17T04:37:00+00:00

Nice guy is a conditioned man. This conditions roots from childhood and abusive parents. So they will harbor lots of anger that will blow up in a passive agressive form. It's not their fault, but at the same time they are their own enemy and the one that cockblocks them in every dating situation.

LadyLazarus2021 · 2023-11-16T15:34:19+00:00

I really wish people would watch Bedazzled - it’s a early 2000s movie with Hurley and Brendan Frazier.

It really distinguishes the difference between a “nice guy” and a nice guy.

Nice guys are not doormats.

I’m married to a nice guy. He painted his female friend’s bedroom (for her kids). He did a ton of volunteer work at the Red Cross. He devoted tons of time to coaching and reffing boys - none of them his own. But he definitely always stands up to himself, including with women.

As an example - he’s an IT nerd. And there was this single very hot girl in the friend group. All the IT guys would just be so stupid over her and she absolutely took advantage of it - look everyone, if you lay out the doormat, it takes a very very good and self aware person not to walk all over it. She tried that crap with him and he just shrugged her off. Drove her batty. He’s short! He’s a little chubby! He’s a nerd! He should be all over her.

He and I clashed while dating at times. He’s no push over for me, and I have a strong personality.

When I talked to my sister, I said, “a man who can stand up to me is a man who can stand up for me.”

Watch Bedazzled, seriously. You’ll a few laughs at Frazier’s slapstick, you’ll enjoy the gorgeous Hurley in red bikinis, and you’ll see Frazier transform from Nice Guy TM to true nice guy.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-11-16T16:20:22+00:00

Why does it make you look better to be attracted to someone who's nice? Maybe a truly moral person would be wanting to help those who were overlooked and needed help to be nice. Alas, humans are selfish and like being treated well. That doesn't mean they'll be into everyone with that trait or they'll never make a mistake, but I don't know how you could argue people don't like good treatment.

obviousredflag · 2023-11-16T17:44:50+00:00

Niceguys ARE bad choices.

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Mobrowncheeks · 2023-11-16T13:59:40+00:00

What makes these guys so nice to y’all? Can anyone be a good little American boy? I wonder that as someone who doesn’t fit the mold as a nice guy appearance wise.

Lina-Inverse · 2023-11-16T17:29:22+00:00

So they created this narrative that they are attracted to the socially acceptable nice guy because it made THEM look better

Wait is this even still true, I thought many women explicitly stated they hate nice guys. Others don't say it but their actions say the same thing

Sure the odd woman will lie and say they care about a guy being nice, but it's basically just looks and status. As long as the guy isn't a literal piece of shit (and sometimes even if he is) then being "extra nice" starts being a negative.

Hi-Road · 2023-11-16T23:19:42+00:00

Who cares what most women think tbh, if you're a great person then I think that should be worth way more than if women want to fuck you or not. I get that can be frustrating, but I think it's better than worrying about changing yourself based on womens standards

The real truth about women and nice guys

Comments

women try to tell men that men don’t wear signs on their heads about men’s characters, and men still get super angry and blame them for not knowing that the men they dated were bad guys.

Title	The real truth about women and nice guys
Author	Good_Abroad_6275
Upvotes	118
Comments	413
Date	November 16, 2023 1:00 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17wmagv/the_real_truth_about_women_and_nice_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-real-truth-about-women-and-nice-guys.1238607 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238607