Men are being wrongly accused of “blaming women” instead of simply “improving,”when the reality is they are rightly sick of having to work for less than they are worth

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-03-04T07:58:12+00:00

Who is forcing us to settle, exactly?

IronDBZ · 2024-03-04T01:11:27+00:00

This is more a tangent than a response, but I don't think the kind of women a man tries to talk to is a reflection of anything but their comfort level with rejection.

If you haven't already found a partner, at some point you start using a shotgun method. You throw out feelers wherever you feel you can.

Some of those are going to be women that would never talk to you, some might under different circumstances, and so on, but you don't know regardless.

I think this assumes a level of intentionality that isn't sustainable in the first place.

FreitasAlan · 2024-03-04T02:05:55+00:00

More and more people want to be single. It happens.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-03-04T01:21:01+00:00

But… you’re still saying men are to blame. I’m not even saying I agree with you, but in the premise that men are sick of doing work to acquire a girlfriend, so they aren’t willing to do the work anymore still means… that men aren’t doing the work required to acquire a girlfriend.

Meanwhile, some men are clearly still willing to put in the effort, which is my disagreement with the premise. Considering there are still millions and millions of men who still acquire girlfriends and subsequent wives every day.

AFuzzyMuffin · 2024-03-04T05:49:40+00:00

LOL Imagine being told you need to be fit, and be stable income, have passion, and have the ability to be social as too much work....man our parents really failed us

Sorcha16 · 2024-03-04T13:28:01+00:00

Who's forcing them to settle? Are they in the room with us now?

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-03-04T12:57:49+00:00

Guys who have their shit together, are attractive and have lots of personality are being forced to settle AND to work for it.

if you aint attractin', you aint attractive

EulenWatcher · 2024-03-04T01:07:27+00:00

If you don’t think dating is worth it, no one really forces you to date. If you’re still pursuing women, apparently they’re worth the trouble.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-03-04T02:00:13+00:00

Women for decades have been investing in makeup, push up bras, pantyhose, high heels, bikini waxes, blowouts with highlights and lowlights, all to compete on an aesthetic playing field in competition with other women to catch a man. Reading articles and books and taking classes to learn how to say the right thing, in the right tone, with the right body language to appeal to a man.

I think dating is just finally a level playing field for men & women. Only this leveled difficulty is unduly shocking for most men who never had to put forth much effort back when women had to get married to survive.

XXXblackrabbit · 2024-03-04T20:25:38+00:00

Women don’t owe you attention, and you don’t owe women relationships after sex. That’s the deal

Kemence97 · 2024-03-04T12:14:41+00:00

How old are you? If you are older than 15 years old, you should have already realised that generalizing more than 3,5 billion people is very very silly and totally irrational. This way of thinking will not make you happy, and it will definitely disgust women

drok007 · 2024-03-04T01:48:22+00:00

That’s not how market’s work, you improve until you get what you want. If you aren’t getting what you want then you aren’t good enough. Anyway, most guys out there are doing fine.

2024-03-04T02:07:58+00:00

Nobody is forcing you to do anything except do the bare minimum to fit into society, anything else is optional.

nightsofthesunkissed · 2024-03-04T01:45:45+00:00

I read the title and knew it'd be you.

You've been doing this for years and where has it got you?

The answer is the same now as it will be in 2070 and beyond.

Women can have all the standards they wish and owe you nothing. If you want a partner, it is on YOU to attract someone, not on them to owe you what you want from them.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-03-04T01:46:54+00:00

Dating is optional and believing you deserve someone for nothing is entitlement. Men don’t have to settle for anyone.

You either have something to offer that the opposite sex wants or you don’t.

The opposite sex determines your value in dating, if what you have doesn’t attract anyone then you’re not as desirable as you think. If what you attract is fat single moms then that’s your what your value is to women. Hard pill to swallow.

None of this is men’s fault but it’s also not women’s neither. This is just what is.

Safinated · 2024-03-04T01:12:58+00:00

You don’t get to decide what you are worth

Someone else does

krackedy · 2024-03-04T00:56:01+00:00

Some guys have a legitimately rough time but a lot of guys are just constantly trying to get women hotter than them and overestimating their own attractiveness.

Calm-Cry4094 · 2024-03-04T02:42:57+00:00

Actually men, especially rich men, should NOT get married. Really?

Unfortunately preconception agreement is not enforceable in court. But that's the most you can get out of court system.

jldreadful · 2024-03-04T09:37:17+00:00

Stuff like this makes me question if the person even likes women.

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Oli_love90 · 2024-03-04T19:09:08+00:00

It’s so interesting that you think these guys are being “forced to settle”.

Dating has never been “attract hundreds of women!”. It’s always been find a handful you like and choose from there. Online dating has artificially made you see all the options that are out of your league, you wouldn’t have liked in the first place and the handful you like. Social media and our interconnectivity makes everyone think most others are a potential option.

Guys are not forced to settle for anyone - they just don’t feel like doing the work to get to the woman they actually like.

Pola_Lita · 2024-03-04T01:40:39+00:00

Guys who have their shit together, are attractive and have lots of personality are being forced to settle AND to work for it.

In whose estimation, though? The men you're talking about could go out with you in female form, but if they want relationships with other women, then it's those women they'll have to please.

WANT_SOME_HAM · 2024-03-04T15:57:52+00:00

No you guys are totally blaming women for your own inadequacies, and your conscious decision to wallow in bitterness and self-pity rather than take a realistic inventory of what you can and can't improve is deeply unattractive.

I'm not even a woman and I can see this. This isn't a male/female thing, it's a universally unlikeable trait in every kind of relationship.

I wouldn't want to be business partners for someone who's constantly whining, making excuses, blaming others, and saying the universe is unfair, all the while never noticing that the thing they think is impossible is extremely common.

Name any kind of human relationship where a person constantly blaming The Universe instead of trying to come up with rational solutions is a good thing.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-03-04T01:04:10+00:00

What you can get is what you are worth.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-03-04T04:16:28+00:00

" Guys who have their shit together, are attractive and have lots of personality are being forced to settle" No. If you have these things and are forced to settle you likely overstated your worth. Some people are straight up delusional.

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shonenhikada · 2024-03-04T06:40:55+00:00

Study show that more men are into self care than men in the past. CDC even shows that more men engage in exercise compared to men in the 90s. Men are even getting long term, debilitating surgeries to achieve 6'0+ standard that more and more women are demanding even when they are under 5'4".

In addition, despite heavy institution preference and quota to have woman fill high power positions for the sake of representation, the vast majority of woman still pursue careers and degrees that are less demanding and have flexible hours. Women still want and often go for men that make more money for them. Thus, men still adhere to the role of provider. If a criminal breaks into the house, the man is still expected to risk his own life and ultimately self sacrifice for women and/or his child. On a macroscale, men make up majority of troops fighting on the front line, and continue to hold their role as protectors; see for example Ukraine men and women.

Now, let's look at what women bring to the table. It's now possible for women to bring equal or even higher salary than her husband. However, this often come at a cost of her losing her femininity, not having time for her kids and/or husband, losing respect for her man an having a lower marriage satisfaction and possibly a divorce. In addition, women these days have removed their role of being feminine and think it's demeaning to submit to their husband, cook, clean or be nurturing. Many women have been fed the lie of equality and now want to co-lead with their husband, challenge him at every corner and won't cook or clean for him. In addition, many women will go out of their way and attack traditional woman that actually like to do these things, and state that they have internalized misandry, are under mining female empowerment movement or are undervaluing themselves.

Lastly, when we look at dating, it is women that have made dating a toxic cesspool. Many women these days are rude and have poor social skills due to being on their phones excessively. Many women in offices and campuses report men for showing romantic or sexual interest in them; 1 in 5 do that. Many women will make innocent interaction as an exercise to creep shame a guy in public spaces, such as the gym. Hell, even glancing at a woman for too long can result in them putting u on blast on IG. When it comes to dates, many guys are becoming self aware of how women actively use men for food and utility; 1 in 3 women often go on dates with guys that they have no romantic interest in. Men are also becoming aware through personal experience, and by sharing info with other men, both online and in person, just how degenerate the average, Western woman is. Guys are shamed by society and women and expected to date post wall women, women that are single moms, ex-OF girls, women who are promiscious and must still adhere to traditional masculine principles, while also being provider, protector and leader.

obviousredflag · 2024-03-04T09:24:36+00:00

Guys who have their shit together, are attractive and have lots of personality are being forced to settle AND to work for it.

Not true at all. All of those men i know are absolutely happy and satisfied with the women they picked as girlfriends or wives. Nobody forces anyone to settle.

rightly sick of having to work for less than they are worth

What you are worth is determined on the market, not by what you imagine your worth to be or what you would like to be worth. If you spend enough time on the market, so sample size isn't the issue, the highest value woman who is attracted to you IS YOUR VALUE. Better women get better partners. Face it, you don't like what your value can buy on the market and you might have reached the limits of what you can realistically do to improve further. Taking the highest value partner that is attracted to you is not settling.

Freevoulous · 2024-03-04T10:40:46+00:00

You are not forced to self-improve to please women, you are supposed to self-improve for your own sake.

Yes, every woman wants a guy who is smart, fit, muscular, kind, social, rich, happy and well dressed. But guess what, you SHOULD be all those thing for your own benefit, even if women did not exist. Gay guys strive to be those things to. So do asexual guys. Hell, even celibate Shaolin monks do push-ups.

It boggles the mind that motherfuckers can complain like "Women still don't want me, so I got this six-pack and a rich social life and a flush bank account for NOTHING? "

Absolute. Madness.

You are not lifting those weights to impress the ladies, but to impress YOURSELF, to become stronger, and healthier, and to enjoy your improved body that now can do more things.

You are not practicing those social skills to get the girls, but to find friends, and enjoy your time with them,

You are not becoming a well rounded, passionate and innately interesting individual to to game chicks, but to HAVE A LIFE WORTH LIVING.

If, by sheer random accident, on your road to be a smart, happy, fascinating, muscular man full of passion and goals, you meet a woman who wants to tag along for a while, great. No woman? Also great. In the grand scheme of things, it does not matter either way.

izoldetales · 2024-03-04T15:26:25+00:00

Men are being wrongly accused of “blaming women” instead of simply “improving,”when the reality is they are rightly sick of having to work for less than they are worth

Have men never asked from where the height standards poped up?! It's literally cause all self improvement standards are already done by men . I would say It's started when Hollywood " hired " attractive men to play competent characters which made those men loved for non masculine things like beauty and fame even without gaining a huge amount of money . Leonardo DiCaprio is considered as a Hollywood icon mainly because he can " compete " with women on attractiveness ".Same with "One direction " and boy bands, they weren't exceptionally talented, they were exceptionally attractive to women .

Female gaze is women going fully on genetics , a bald man will never be an example of the female gaze , the same as a 5'3 janitor. It's funny how men are " shallow " but women are unique when they both are doing the same thing . Male gaze is the self improvement ( gym, money, status) itself , female gaze is a 6'0ft italian Prince holding a flower while waiting for an average woman in front of a castle he bought for her after just rejecting his model childhood friend cause he doesn't care about women's appearance and is loyal to the average girl even though she never reciprocated nor she has a kind personality and she wouldn't probably date him if he was 1 inch shorther. Princes or rich/ attractive men being the main romantic interest in stories made by women should be enough to answer your question

LordArtichud · 2024-03-04T02:13:56+00:00

Yes, most women choose incorrectly by choosing thugs who abuse them and/or treat them badly while ignoring decent men because the thug gave her the tingles.

Worldly-Lunch-2492 · 2024-08-25T18:37:43+00:00

Y’all need to learn accountability, you can’t blame women for all the issues that men have caused. And instead of admitting that you have to settle cause you aren’t good! You will convince yourself you’re good

izoldetales · 2024-03-04T15:56:03+00:00

Have you ever heard of relatively?! . People can make rules based on the comparison of the highest and lowest score of a category in a study field . So if men continue to progress by self improvement, It's just mean that more men will outcompete others but as a group are still not adequately good to meet women's standards. A non changeable factors will arise like height and genetics, which basically mean that " ugly " men are just less ugly but are still ugly in comparison of a 6'3ft German blonde boy who is also hitting the gym . Women are aware of this ,and this is why body positivity was only about women . For example: women shame men who complain about the weight gain of his wife even along time after pregnancy cause women don't want to put effort for men but love when men do. Hell love for women litteraly what men do for them . The problem with self improvement is that It's for everyone which mean a 10/10 man would be a " unique person " while a 3/10 is now a 4/10 which mean he still doesn't meet women's standards.

Sorry but calling men shallow for years just to go around and tell women to have the standards they want is arbitrary and show how hypocritical women are. I don't know what men need more to see that they are mistreated by women and that women aren't the victim but them .

Jaded-Worldliness597 · 2024-03-04T17:57:43+00:00

Look the core issue here is how women in the US and other english speaking countries choose men. Women in the rest of the world expect to have children and a family, and they place traits that make a good father and husband way high up on their list. Women in our countries act like these traits don't matter, so they chase after flashy assholes who do shit like walk away from their kids, refuse to pay child support, and make terrible husbands. However, they were exciting dates and often times decent lovers...

So, if you are surrounded by women that don't value you... go someplace that has women who do.

apresonly · 2024-03-04T19:01:55+00:00

no man is forced into any dating situation

if he doesn't want to pursue a woman, don't

if he doesn't want to commit to a woman, don't

2024-03-04T14:01:21+00:00

What does that mean for the guys who aren’t attractive and don’t have their shit together?

2024-03-04T20:12:41+00:00

I mean I’m pretty good with women and I’m still bitter and jaded lol.

Men are being wrongly accused of “blaming women” instead of simply “improving,”when the reality is they are rightly sick of having to work for less than they are worth

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