Do women have a thing that they want to be the only one a man does it for?

ladybird_00 · 2026-02-17T11:43:42+00:00

Propose to, marry, get pregnant.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-02-17T11:45:22+00:00

Marriage.

love_in_october · 2026-02-17T11:45:57+00:00

Having children would be a pretty important one. Or marriage.

NJFlowerchild · 2026-02-17T13:23:36+00:00

I don’t care about an ex or what you did or didn’t do for her. It makes no difference. You’re meeting my standards and treating me how I want or you’re not. Nothing else matters.

VividlyDissociating · 2026-02-17T12:41:28+00:00

that thing he does with his tongue 👀

oh and marriage ig

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-02-17T12:32:07+00:00

There’s nothing that I want a man to do for me that it would bother me if he’d done it for someone else in the past. I just don’t want him doing it for someone else in the present or future.lol

As far as the past goes, it’s more about what I don’t want done to me (cheating on or hitting an ex, for example).

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-02-17T11:46:57+00:00

Marry, have kids with

bjwindow2thesoul · 2026-02-17T11:50:43+00:00

Having kids 😆

RelativeYak7 · 2026-02-17T12:23:46+00:00

Monogamy

Hjelmert · 2026-02-17T13:09:20+00:00

For me it's sex i relate to the men on this one

half_avocado33 · 2026-02-17T11:58:08+00:00

Marriage

leosandlattes · 2026-02-17T13:39:13+00:00

Marry me. Have kids with me.

pie-mart · 2026-02-17T14:11:24+00:00

I don't really care. As long as he is treating me like I am his only partner and like he loves me it doesn't matter who he had sex with before or who he loved before

As long as he wasn't a player or fuckboi or anything like that

Flimsy_Software8105 · 2026-02-17T17:11:05+00:00

At almost 30, I don’t care a ton about a guy’s past because nearly everyone has one at this point and some are even divorced or have kids. However once we’re in a relationship I need the guy to set clear boundaries such as unfollowing past flings and not talking to exes unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Obsessivethot · 2026-02-17T11:57:05+00:00

Marriage, children, family. Basically what’s in the vows you say when you get married

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-02-17T13:44:29+00:00

"ever" done it for? no, does it only for me now that were together, sure

Lemon_gecko · 2026-02-17T11:51:49+00:00

I think the answer is making her feel special, loved, supported, etc. It's not even about did he feel like that about someone in the past, but more like that she is the one special now. And that he doesn't offer it freely to just anyone, that he sees something in her that is valuable to him.

I'm poly, so i don't really care about being the only one, but i do care about that feeling too.

cb8585b · 2026-02-17T11:48:21+00:00

Children

ThatBitchA · 2026-02-17T15:58:57+00:00

I can't think of anything.

He's a whole human with his own wants and wishes.

I don't need to be the only person he's had sex with to prove that he loves me or finds me attractive.

I suppose marriage. But if he was married before, it wouldn't have been an issue. So...I guess not even that.

United_Donkey8368 · 2026-02-17T11:57:09+00:00

Commitment and having a history.

Lysa_Bell · 2026-02-17T12:38:52+00:00

The only thing I can think of: going on a holiday to a place we both have never been before. Because I want to experience new things and discover new things together.

I wouldn't date someone that has or want kids. I wouldn't care if they were married before me. I wouldn't want someone that was never in a relationship before me or never had sex before me. I want my partner to have a similar life before me so we can both experience new things together.

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mooncake_bites · 2026-02-17T15:11:19+00:00

Being seen as the most attractive one, maybe? I’m not talking about you’re not allowed to see another women as attractive because obviously if you have a past, you found your exes attractive at one point. But ideally, I guess as the current partner, women want to be seen as the most attractive one —the one you’re the most attracted to.

My_House_on_Mars · 2026-02-17T17:40:13+00:00

Wanting to spend the rest of his life with me

Although it's not like I'd be as angry as ncount men if I found out my current bf also was thinking of spending his life with his ex. It's probably a very common healthy thing to desire.

No_Teacher_3313 · 2026-02-17T18:16:48+00:00

Nothing. I don’t care about past relationships.

I hope he did everything, repeatedly, and got really good at it, so that I can reap the benefits.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-02-17T18:51:17+00:00

Everyting. Mostly sex.

iamsojellyofu · 2026-02-17T18:59:06+00:00

Everything. Be born, live, and die for me.

Kaleidoscopetide · 2026-02-17T21:09:26+00:00

I don’t. I don’t care if someone has been married before or had kids with someone else etc (at least for that reason. Kids and exes can be a logistical hassle). I want my partner to only be in love with me and only have sex with me, but why should I care if he has been in love or had sex before?

y2kjanelle · 2026-02-18T01:36:49+00:00

why would I repeat men’s behavior and mindset when it’s worked out terribly for them? Men are the dumbest demographic ever. Like please think about the stupid shit they do.

They want sex so bad they shame women OUT of giving it to them to create competition and feel some type of self esteem by “winning a woman”. Who does that? That’s like if I wanted my favorite sandwich so I petition to have the sandwich shop move 1500 miles away so I can walk the 1500 miles to “earn” the sandwich and feel better about myself for eating it? And then the sandwich shop doesn’t want to give me the sandwich because I made them move 1500 miles inconveniencing them significantly and then I get mad at the shop?

See that’s a level of stupidity I don’t understand.

So no, there’s nothing I only want my man to do with me because the things I want him to do with me are positive! tf💀.

And I don’t need to feel special because one, I have self esteem and wouldn’t date a man who treats me poorly and two, relationships are already special. I don’t need him to prove anything because THATS WHAT VETTING IS. You’re already supposed to choose one who is compatible with you so why would you need to add a third party to compare yourself to?

You only add in comparisons like that when you’re unhappy with what you have.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-02-17T13:58:23+00:00

I think men who want a woman who's never been a whore to any other man are either immature or insecure, so definitely not interesting prospect partners. I'm not talking about promiscuity - I think it's perfectly valid for any woman or man to reject a potential partner who has a history, especially recent, of sleeping around.

I don't have anything that I'd like a man to never have done with anyone. I wouldn't accept a man whose mindset towards me was any different.

And I believe for most women, sex is definitely a thing they don't want the man to do with anyone else after they become a couple, just like it is for most men.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2026-02-17T15:32:49+00:00

Financially provide a high quantity lifestyle and having kids. A man’s job is to provide and no wants to put up with someone else’s kids.

AngeAware · 2026-02-17T12:53:58+00:00

I'm my fiancé's first and only romantic partner and while I don't think it's impossible to be fulfilled by a partner with prior experience in these things I will say it can uncomplicate a lot of things.

I dated two guys prior who did have relationship experience. The most experienced was also the worst because he thought he knew everything and if I didn't like or didn't want to do something the other girls he dated did, I was the problem.

CatallaxyRanch · 2026-02-17T14:19:58+00:00

Having kids.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-02-17T15:14:25+00:00

I can’t think of a single thing. Honestly. I don’t care about my partner’s past. I do like being married, so I doubt things would work out with someone who didn’t want to get married, whether they had ever done so in the past or not. But I don’t care if he’s been engaged or married before. It’s actually kind of a lot of pressure to be someone’s first marriage.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2026-02-17T15:18:03+00:00

Nothing. I met my husband in our 30s we both had pasts, all I care about is our relationship not comparing it to past ones.

If I sat there asking did you do this for your ex about everything he did for me all I would do is mess with my own head. Life is far too short for that.

I’m sure there are things he did with her he hasn’t done with me, but it’s not important

icypiee · 2026-02-17T17:53:00+00:00

Provide / take care of me / do things for me with a smile on his face

JustGeminiThings · 2026-02-17T20:28:24+00:00

Learning to focus on the relationship you are in, and not the ones you were not in is a whole life skill/level of emotional maturity.

Robot_Alchemist · 2026-02-17T23:54:42+00:00

Ambiguous wording

softrevolution_ · 2026-02-18T00:35:55+00:00

Nothing. There's nothing. The age range I'm dating in, I expect us both to have lived broad lives. If there's something that's a "never before and never again", and it's a positive, great! But this is real life, not fairy tales. And I actively prefer real life.

WWhandsome · 2026-02-18T00:58:59+00:00

Personally it would be being obsessed with me more than he was with other partners, something like thinking abt me all the time and always wanting my validation.

In theory I'd also go crazy for a man who never had certain sexual experiences but ended up enjoying them with me, but in practice not only is it unlikely to happen but it could be very dangerous (heavy bdsm for beginners anyone? lol).

And same goes for other women (bisexual)

Sorryimjustsaying · 2026-02-18T02:15:21+00:00

If we’re having kids, then having kids because I’ve seen what a logistical nightmare that can be and I’m not built for it.

If we’re not having kids…can’t really think of anything? I could name some stuff I hope I’m NOT the first/only with. For practical reasons.

TheSkyIsData · 2026-02-18T03:11:39+00:00

For me it is sex. I have no idea why other women seem to like married men or men with experience. I always preferred virgins because the thought of something inside me that's been inside someone else is gross.

TangerineEvery8912 · 2026-02-18T03:45:55+00:00

Hmm, Ideally I want my future man and I to experience sex for the first time together. An absolute non-negotiable will be first marriage, first child, first proposal.

iHeartFartz913 · 2026-02-18T07:39:19+00:00

✨️🧚🏻‍♀️ Hello there Laddie,

🪄 The ways we have sex

We wanna be the only one he's comitted to

And the only one he's intimate with

The only one a man has a child with

The only want he takes on particular dates. If he takes every serious gf to Paris, then its doesnt feel special.

🪄Bippity 🪄boppity, 🪄Boo 🧚🏻‍♀️✨️

Different_Cress7369 · 2026-02-18T18:53:24+00:00

Marry and have a family with.

Werevulvi · 2026-02-19T14:48:25+00:00

For me it's romantic gestures. Like taking me out on dates, buying flowers for me (or heck, pick them from nature), telling me sweet things, etc, basically love. A man having had sex with other women doesn't bother me, but him having loved and doted other women... yeah, that can cause some feelings of insecurity in me. Especially if he gave his exes more romantic interest.

That said though I don't easily get insecure or jealous altogether, I tend to trust and feel safe and loved basically by default unless there's some actually strong evidence to the contrary. I also don't care about if a guy is a virgin or has a ton of sexual experience. Even though I have quite a lot of sexual experience in my past, I've always valued love more highly than sex. I'm just not quite attractive enough, or nurturing enough, to be girlfriend/wife material to most men, so I got what I could get. And yeah always felt like lower tier woman for it.

What matters to me is how he treats me and how he feels about me, and however sexually experienced he is or isn't, doesn't seem to have any actual impact on that. It's more to do with just how attracted he is to me, and whether he views me as girlfriend/wife material or hookup material. I notice when a guy isn't all that into me, he's just desperate for a cum bucket, it doesn't make me feel valuable at all. It makes me feel like a literal sock could replace me.

What makes me feel truly valuable to a guy is him wanting to commit to me, and loving me. Because that's what's rare to find, and it's far more long-lasting. Although I also like sex, I don't enjoy feeling like I'm just a piece of meat. I'm not attractive enough to feel valued even for sex. Because I've always been men's last resort for sex, they only come to me after all the hot chicks have already rejected them.

So yeah in a general sense I do value romantic exclusivity over sexual exclusivity. Any actual cheating, of either variety, would still be a dealbreaker though.

Title	Do women have a thing that they want to be the only one a man does it for?
Author	shadowrangerfs
Upvotes	26
Comments	127
Date	February 17, 2026 11:36 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1r73o65/do_women_have_a_thing_that_they_want_to_be_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-have-a-thing-that-they-want-to-be-the.1573672 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573672

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