Traveling brags in women's dating profiles

buartha · 2020-07-06T18:00:36+00:00

It's a starting point for a conversation that gives the reader an opportunity to respond and show that they're on the same wavelength. 'Oh, you like (commonly liked thing?) I also like (commonly liked thing). (Insert hopefully semi interesting observation about commonly liked thing)'. It doesn't have to be proving or showing anything, it's giving people with something in common with her an in. If you don't like travelling and avoid her then clearly it's working as intended.

AnarchoNAP · 2020-07-06T17:51:51+00:00

Best I can figure is it’s a socioeconomic signal. (Because I don’t see this from girls who’s job justifies the travel expenses.) But I suspect that they think this passes for a hobby.

Disclaimer, I’m a woman so I’ve never had to click through these profiles.

flamingoinghome · 2020-07-06T17:47:27+00:00

This is something men and women both do, and it's used as a shorthand to appear worldly and cultured.

lilastr · 2020-07-06T17:49:16+00:00

Probably to find men who are also very into traveling ??? I guess???

87AudreyHorne · 2020-07-06T18:01:11+00:00

Eh I'm so typical that way, i take great joy in being to a new country..I dont expect guys to like me more for it and I dont have any illusion that this makes me special but to me it's cool and when you meet a similar person they find it cool and have their own stories to contribute. It's not something you do to get affection, if it's supposed to signal anything then its "be on my page"

I feel amazing being in a new country. This idea that you can be anyone, play any part... it's just great to me. Some people get it and some dont, i dont say the first group is more enlightened but should stick together ...

I do find focus on family (as in marriage and kids) boring and a job is a job not a life so...

Edit: I want to add after reading some other responses for me.if anything this is furthest from economic signaling. I signal with my past experiences that I love travel that is cheap, spontaneous, use trains and rent apartments etc. My biggest ideological "enemy" is the guy who either hates to travel or hotel travels (wants to just stay in hotel rooms and do nothing).

My parents instilled my love for travel and it consists of a packed day visiting all.musems, nature and culture and walking all day.. no resorts and spas and that nonsense. When I travel im a hardcore tourist. And cheapest deals are a part of it (my best experiences involve.fucked up apartments, sleeping in kindergartens, tents on a music festival etc)

Edit 2: maybe its another example of the disconnect where men list things in hope of signaling attractiveness to as many women possible while women post in Hopes of narrowing down/selecting men

decoy88 · 2020-07-06T20:10:28+00:00

Speak to any HR recruiter about how many terrible CV’s/resumes they’ve gone through.

Humans are typically bad at sellings ourselves, it takes great effort. We just about manage to do it for mediocre jobs and strive to sound impressive but ultimately end up sounding very much like every other CV.

Dating profiles are no different.

AncientDragons · 2020-07-06T18:03:46+00:00

It probably means they enjoy traveling and are looking for dating partners who also enjoy traveling. Because that’s what the words “I enjoy lots of travel” typically mean arranged in a sentence like that.

philomexa · 2020-07-06T18:40:19+00:00

I've traveled a lot in my life, any time I've brought it up it was meant as a conversation topic/starter.

"I've been to x and saw/did y, it was a neat experience. Have you done something similar?"

In a dating profile, I presume similar intentions.

eta: all these dudes proposing nefarious intent are low key hilarious.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-07-06T17:58:25+00:00

As someone who is notoriously under traveled, yes, it is an accomplishment. Not everyone can travel, not everyone wants to. It's a signifier that this person is affluent, cultured, and can handle variability. Lots of people cannot.

AnarchoNAP · 2020-07-06T17:46:34+00:00

In the same way that tall men think being 6'5 is a personality trait, women think an extravagant lifestyle is a personality trait. These types are made for each other.

lmSoBored · 2020-07-06T17:59:30+00:00

I love to travel but I think it's really tacky to brag about it in a way like "I've been to 50 countries". I feel like these kinds of people see it more of a status symbol than anything... like "Look at how adventurous I am!" What's funny is that a lot of these "I've been to 50 countries" people are often the ones who only stay in 5-star hotels (often paid for by their parents), spend most of their time posing for Instagram photos, and only hanging out with other American tourists. So much for being worldly?

emeral132 · 2020-07-06T23:34:20+00:00

Surely she’s just trying to get across that she likes travel in order to attract someone like minded? OR just trying to come across as more interesting. I have a few friends that are always posting pictures of themselves on Instagram in different locations. Truth is, they often work as air hostesses for a few years as a way of seeing the world.

Shiningsilvergold · 2020-07-06T20:42:58+00:00

Hmmm the comments have been eye-opening. When I was on dating apps I put something about traveling because my ex had been against going outside of the United States - like he didn't want to go outside of his comfort zone. And for me, putting it on my dating profile was "i want to find a guy who is okay going outside his comfort zone" - but now I see it might have come off as elitist.

For me, living in a different country for a year was really important to my identity, like figuring out that I could become fluent in a different language and fit in in a different culture was important, and it definitely put me outside of my comfort zone and I think made me a better person. So even if someone isn't up for living somewhere else for a year or couldn't afford it, I wanted someone who at least would be up for going somewhere where they didn't speak English - like would be ok and could handle being uncomfortable.

nemma88 · 2020-07-06T17:55:02+00:00

sad thing is if you have lived anywhere outside of the usa for any amount of real time and had a job there you realize that the obsession with the foreign is either an elitist tell of a vapid demeanor or much more commonly a result of people being perpetually stuck in the honeymoon period with the host culture since they never stay there long enough. Either is an immediate red flag. (i used to think japan and the UK were fucking awesome, then i lived in both for 3 years)

drew8311 · 2020-07-06T17:54:28+00:00

It's a sign of wealth.

pooppeebuttmcnuggets · 2020-07-06T17:55:02+00:00

I travel a lot, alone and with my fiance. I started traveling right after I finished high school. During that time I managed to finish university, get a great job, and start my own freelancing career. My traveling experience only helped me achieve that, I volunteered as a teacher, graphic designer, and did many other things that are now very useful. I definitely understand the world much better. I don't see how it isn't something to be proud of.

Traveling can be a great, life-changing experience if you do it right. And I know tons of women who used this opportunity just like me.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2020-07-06T18:12:05+00:00

It’s a sign of status and it shows that you’re adventurous. It’s hard to afford a passport, take time off from a job, and also pay for an entire trip on your own when you’re young. Definitely an accomplishment. Most of them want someone who’s similar or is at least interested in traveling.

While it may not mean anything to you, your opinion doesn’t represent the entire opinion of your gender. My boyfriend thinks it’s cool that I’ve traveled and we plan on doing it together soon enough.

phlegmdawg · 2020-07-06T18:36:11+00:00

Just like when I see this on dude’s profiles, I take this as an indicator that traveling is important to them. It helps to figure out suitability, that’s all.

I don’t really look into it more than that and assume that they are male escorts, lol. How absurd.

frappuccinoCoin · 2020-07-06T19:03:30+00:00

[deleted]

inkybreadbox · 2020-07-06T19:46:47+00:00

Why is this post about women? Like 20% of men in my city write this same thing on their profiles.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2020-07-06T22:01:22+00:00

This pretend jetset lifestyle is just the next iteration of showing off and trying to impress others, and because every woman has it on her profile it becomes a competition. As somebody who had to fly around for work a lot and actually do something productive in a foreign country, traveling quickly becomes a pain in the ass and there is little interesting or glamorous about it. I'd rather stay home and have time for myself.

I complained about that before. The last time I was flooded with messages saying I just wasn't able to handle or support a woman with such a lifestyle because I was intimidated by it. Be prepared to hear the same.

PollaTronante · 2020-07-06T19:06:43+00:00

You’re reading way too much into this. Guys do the exact same thing all the time on their profiles.

ontherailstoday · 2020-07-07T01:47:04+00:00

> Is this an escorting sub-culture?

There's some young women who travel on their backs but they are far outnumbered by women who are spending family money and/or work hard, save hard, then splurge it all on travel.

> Am I living in a bubble and this actually makes her more interesting?

No dude, she's telling you that she finds you less interesting. So you'll either not waste her time, or if you do decide to chase after her you'll try harder. How exactly is this not obvious? She had you as soon as you saw her photo. She doesn't need to convince you to a "yes"

Sid_Insidious · 2020-07-07T02:01:21+00:00

Status. Ask her to name one interesting historical fact about three of any of the 20 places she's been to and she can't do it.

Women are tourists. They talk about how travel makes them all "worldly" and other elitist bullshit like that. Thing is, they went to a place and (a) stayed in hotels (b) walked around and took pictures (c) haggled over the price of a beaded necklace a child in a sweatshop made (and talk on camera how you have to haggle with locals because they're crooked and take advantage of tourists). and (d) "Oh, and we found this quaint little bistro off the beaten path and you should have tried the ___________________ (insert ethnic dish here) it was the best we ever had.

Oh wow. The adventure. It's like they mapped the Amazon rain forest or something.

Those conversations suck the life out of my soul, my smile is obviously fake and it makes me glad I am single and never have to listen to those bullshit travel stories again.

Colopop · 2020-07-06T18:19:00+00:00

Men also do this a lot

mistresswhat · 2020-07-06T21:01:10+00:00

It's very normal to mention interests and hobbies on a dating profile.

joeclark5 · 2020-07-06T22:01:28+00:00

It's so predictable, thinks travel, wine and watching the office 20 times is a personality.

hackathons2 · 2020-07-06T22:11:00+00:00

I mean, some people actually love to travel. When you are young and don't have a lot of possessions you can actually spend months moving around to different places, meeting new people, trying new foods, learning about other cultures, living a completely different life than you would achieving career success. I find those people really interesting because they usually 1) know a lot of interesting things and have great stories 2) they're very genuine and curious people who also take interest in others' experiences.

Sounds like you're talking about a different group of people, though, who are probably trying to cash in on it.

notbittermaybeold · 2020-07-07T01:12:18+00:00

It means that one of their top attributes is something that can be easily purchased.

I used to travel every S-Th for work for two years straight, many trips of which were taken first class to “cool” and “prestigious” places. I am not disillusioned by the idea of travel — sure, vacations are nice, but I hope your day-to-day is just as exciting and impressive. Otherwise, your love of travel is more sad than awe-inducing.

The ability to travel often for leisure might just signal that 1) you have a whatever job wherein you can take as much PTO as you want and no one cares because you are not that much of an asset, 2) you have little to no savings or money management skills, 3) the flight that you wanted wasn’t yet sold out at the time of booking.

That’s it. Traveling doesn’t make you any more cultured or open-minded than would reading a book, which, sadly, not enough people do nowadays

rosmaskinen · 2020-07-07T09:16:57+00:00

I mean, men do it a shit ton too. And I'm just as sceptical. It just seems like a get out of jail free card you can have to seem more interesting. To top it off, there is nothing worse than a chronic expat/backpacker that still only knows one language. Give me a travel inexperienced polyglot instead, it certainly guarantees a more well-rounded person.

von-rothbart · 2020-07-07T11:52:05+00:00

I also find it amusing. Like taking a pic in front of a trite monument is some kind of achievement in 2020. It was maybe 50 years ago but today, the age of low cost flying buses? I travel for work and I am fucking tired of it. These people are usually very young, or provincial or low-socioeconomic-status, which explains why they think it's cool.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2020-07-07T15:11:26+00:00

I feel like it's just their way of trying to pitch themselves to the wealthier guys because who else is traveling often and taking vacations regularly? I think they're just trying to show that they would easily fit into that sort of lifestyle. It's sort of like when a woman says she likes a guy with "ambition". Not money. No. Of course not. That would make her a gold digger. She likes "ambition".

I see the travel thing pretty often on tinder. It's one of the cookie cutter things a lot of women like to put in their bios. Just like "fluent in sarcasm, love the office, craft beer, I only swiped right for your dog, and follow me on insta". And I'm sure they all think they're SO unique, lol.

Silly_Field · 2020-07-06T18:33:23+00:00

Any woman who can travel to expensive locales and not worry about being fired for all the time off work is very privileged. She is letting you know she is rich.

cobalt-teal · 2020-07-07T01:17:47+00:00

Some people like travelling...and want to meet others who like travelling.

It's not that deep.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2020-07-06T18:22:31+00:00

Similar interests?

I've met some very different women in my time, one works in sales, and her entire life involves travelling the world and working remotely, you can live in some very extreme ways if your work permits it today. Did very well for herself actually, but was looking for a needle in a haystack trying to find a man who wanted to live the same.

Side point...Well traveled women, particularly those that go alone definitely fall into the potential high n count category. backpacking women staying in hostels around Europe from all over the world- easiest lays in your life.

frappuccinoCoin · 2020-07-06T18:23:34+00:00

[deleted]

lemme_tell_you · 2020-07-06T18:24:44+00:00

It's to signal that they're worldly and interesting.

That's cool sweetie but what did you do there?

2020-07-06T19:36:42+00:00

Men make these same brags? I'm more into vacations than "travel" so I always notice and eye roll at it. Generally for men it also means they're into sex tourism.

Merunit · 2020-07-06T22:32:20+00:00

Well, I’m not from America. I have been to a number of different countries - I would probably call it a hobby? A family tradition to go overseas at least once per year?... i went during uni breaks for example. I do mention this when I meet new people because I found that even if you have nothing else in common, travelling is one of the few universal things people generally enjoy talking about. Say we meet in a restaurant for dinner. I could tell you about my adventures in Morocco and local food and tea and you could tell me about your recent trip to Brazil. It would likely be engaging and would let us bond.

Like, many people like games and movies to be set in “exotic” locations. Why? People are generally keen to experience the scenery and the culture of other places. And travelling does make you more aware of how life actually is outside of your home town and is overall a great experience.

I cannot imagine why you would have a negative reaction unless the person is actively bragging failing to read the room, ignoring your wishes to talk about something else. If the girl mentions she traveled to a few places on her profile it is generally a plus. Unless you are insecure and jealous for some odd reason.

Silly_Field · 2020-07-06T23:26:47+00:00

People who travel a lot often like to date other people who travel a lot ime, especially if they’re the nomad type who has been to 50+ countries.

Not everyone is trying to fast track a house with a picket fence and two kids by the age of thirty. Lots of people prefer to see the world, even if it does make them a bit less stable.

It might not matter to you but it will matter to the kind of man she wants to attract.

None of my LTRs would have dated a woman who wasn’t reasonably well travelled or who wasn’t willing to travel with them - but that’s more something that comes out over time vs something anyone would immediately vet for on their online dating profile.

Lots of guys have this kind of profile, too. I also find it a bit obnoxious. Just swipe left if you’re not keen lol. Not everyone has to be your cup of tea.

aliegatie4ever · 2020-07-06T18:15:21+00:00

I’ve traveled too but I feel weird bragging about it Bc I know other people anrent fortunate enough to go places I’ve gone so I’m not gonna throw that in people’s faces plus that’s not how I roll

tritoneharmonies · 2020-07-06T18:25:59+00:00

A lot of people can't think of much else to put into their profiles to make it interesting, so they put whatever seems easy and not too weird. So they just put that and hope it's ok. It displays a lack of creativity, sort of, but then again not everyone out there is supposed to (or even able to) be super creative, deep and witty. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So yeah, they do seem to think it makes them more interesting, but in a safe, trendy, stockphoto-esque way.

GroundSloth123 · 2020-07-06T19:53:55+00:00

People say all kinds of shit in their profiles. Men do the travel thing just as much, and the WORST fucking one:

“I have a great sense of humor, 6’1 if it matters.”

If you have to say “I have a great sense of humor” you don’t have a great sense of humor. If you’re listing your height you obviously think it matters.

Also the newest one I’ve been seeing: “just looking for someone to check me for ticks.” I’ve seen it in both male and female profiles. WHY?

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-07-06T21:23:16+00:00

It’s a UMC signpost and shows they enjoy traveling. I agree it doesn’t make them more interesting.

dadudenines · 2020-07-07T02:32:08+00:00

I make fun of it, I told one on OLD "How long was the train ride through all those countries sitting next to each other?"

She actually replied and admitted it was just a euro trip and easy points.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-07-06T19:46:49+00:00

Projection based on what they value in a mate. Women like worldly, confident, experienced men with money and an adventurous non risk-averse personality, the type that would like to travel. This is the same reason men advertise how “nice”, submissive and accommodating they are, thinking that the opposite sex values those traits the same way they do.

Pantone711 · 2020-07-06T21:09:43+00:00

It's a sophistication thing. Travel is a marker for the upper middle class.

NaturalQueer · 2020-07-07T00:48:59+00:00

Because they like travelling? Maybe because they want a partner who like traveling?

I feel like it’s not that hard to understand why someone would put something that interests them or something they love into their dating profile

Shenaniboozle · 2020-07-07T03:51:17+00:00

I see a lot of people on here saying that its a tell of being a snob, or expecting a jetsetting lifestyle, demanding nothing but the finest of pickles and hotdogs.

Maybe... What I see is someone giving a one sentence description of perhaps the greatest experience of their life.

This.. is on a dating profile you say?

Interesting, so theyre giving you enough insight/info to make a crushing intro, but instead of seizing on it....

Yknow, thinking on your feet is a must have skill. If its tough online, what chance do you have in real time?

Coloring_Fractals · 2020-07-06T19:58:38+00:00

Why do some of you need the simplest things about other people explained to you?

SexySPACsMan · 2020-07-06T17:50:10+00:00

It's a red flag to me.

Well traveled means, had lots of "consequence free" hookups

aliegatie4ever · 2020-07-06T18:14:12+00:00

Idk probably the same reason guys put I’m a nice guy and they always finish last so here I am like if you’re a nice guy then you wouldn’t have to put that 😬

Christian_Kong · 2020-07-06T19:08:21+00:00

It means "I'm adventurous." Many aren't though.

DXBrigade · 2020-07-06T20:05:11+00:00

You live in a Bubble and it's make her more interesting. Also a status thing, most people would like to travel,so of course those who do are gonna brag about it.

asdf333aza · 2020-07-06T21:20:37+00:00

What does it mean when women write "I've been to X countries"? It's now more common than "Fluent in sarcasm".

Cause wanting to travel and see the world is usually something girls care about. And females THINK (emphasis on think) that the stuff they find attractive in men, is the kind of stuff men find attractive in them.

So imagine a guy showing off his boat and all the exotic places he has been. A female would probably find that pretty interesting that he is well versed and travels a lot. And they think men find that crap interesting too, because that's what they like, but in reality most of us don't give a crap about where a chick has traveled to.

Same way a guy's nice career might make him more attractive, but a girl's career or job doesnt really do anything for her sexual market value no matter how successful she is in it.

AidsVictim · 2020-07-06T18:48:31+00:00

Because a cosmopolitan lifestyle is what a lot of women aspire to. If you're a traditionally minded man/low income it's a good signal to avoid them.

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2020-07-07T00:57:04+00:00

Idk but I hate it. Love of my life traveled all over on her own dime but she’s impossible to satisfy she wants to travel places without me because it’s her sole addiction and it has made me bitter and hateful about travel culture.

I really want to climb Everest just to take a pic and say “MEH”

She loved travel more than me 😔

volchonok1 · 2020-07-07T10:40:58+00:00

I like traveling as well, so I appreciate when I see that on a dating profile. And while you say how abundant that is, there is actually a surprising amount of people who never went further than their home town.

DubsPackage · 2020-07-07T21:38:11+00:00

Travel brags are a form of trolling for a rich guy that can afford to take her on vacations all the time and party and have a great life.

richlad · 2020-07-08T07:43:51+00:00

No it's not bragging.

It's a secret signal that she will fly anywhere for the right price.

I've flown those girls out to island states. Drop them message, have some website and give her your card and tell her I don't have time so it's better if you directly state your asking price. And leave quick, you'll get call later that day with the price.

Cream1984 · 2020-07-06T17:59:10+00:00

Plain

sigma1932 · 2020-07-07T06:58:56+00:00

Back when I still did OLD, I was talking to this one woman who had on her profile that she had traveled to 14 countries. I asked her which ones, and she could only name about 10 of them. Then I asked her what was something unique she remembered about visiting each of the countries she could remember... she could only come up with something for about half of them... and what she remembered was fairly commonly known points of interest.

Moral of the story: She doesn't actually care about the other countries' culture, history, etc.... it's just an idictator of "status" that she thinks gives her more clout as a relationship partner... which itself is just her either her projecting what she wants in a man onto what she thinks men want in her, or because she thinks it'll attract a man with the same indicator of "status" as a "common interest"... which she'll find out doesn't work when she comes across as fake, like she did in the conversation I described above.

xXxINCELFAGGOTxXx · 2020-07-07T09:32:41+00:00

I laugh everytime someone mentions "travelling" in a context of a hobby. Cliche, boring, normie.

Joey_Lopez · 2020-07-06T18:45:47+00:00

When women do that they are projecting. That's what is important to them so they assume that's it's also important to us.

In reality men need to take that as a red flag. Remember when they travel they are probably hooking up because of the low chances people will find out and drop her value. Not to mention that those girls will eventually expect you to (pay) take her places. It's also doubtful that it wasn't a man that took her to those places and paid for it.

Grand_Duty · 2020-07-06T18:12:09+00:00

Girls do it signify to other men that they are well traveled, because they want men who are well traveled, i.e. rich.

Plane tickets are expensive, baggage claims are a hassle, and terminals are confusing. I don't get the need to travel. You have YouTube, Instagram, and periscope now.

One thing I have to admit was when I was younger, you could ask to see the pilot and enter the cockpit and say "Hello!" and mess with the buttons. Also people smoked like crazy in the planes, and would bring pocket knives and now you get patted down by some stranger, not fun.

trueorfalsedmitry · 2020-07-06T18:12:32+00:00

It's a dogwhistle that means, "I want you to fly me to expensive places."

PS Just reading the title, I thought this was gonna be about the fact that--if OLD profile pictures are to be believed--every woman in the US over the age of 22 has been to Machu Picchu! Every. Fucking. One.

philomexa · 2020-07-06T19:23:18+00:00

[deleted]

gayAdamLanza · 2020-07-06T19:55:07+00:00

Well I've never had a job but I've been to a bunch of different countries because guys thought I was hot enough to fly to them. So yea it's a brag. I don't even need money to travel, just having a pussy does it.

xinf3ct3d · 2020-07-06T19:01:57+00:00

These women tell you upfront that they are high maintenance.

The question is always if you can afford and have the time and patience to deal with them.

For me it'd be a red flag but I know plenty of guys especially consoomers who love these women.

antonio_aurelio · 2020-07-06T20:53:33+00:00

It also means that she’s probably very promiscuous.

But yeah it’s supposed to signal socioeconomic status.

10/10 would avoid

clindh · 2020-07-06T18:30:20+00:00

I always interpret to mean that she’s having to pay for that somehow and I don’t mean with money

Sea-Buffalo · 2020-07-06T22:15:10+00:00

When I see a woman brag she has been all over the world at a young age it’s a red flag. Unless she is a trust fund girl she did it on other people’s (Mens) dime.

She is someone who will expect you to do the same for her and unless you have a ton of money will never be happy.

I say this from experience.

OXOzymandias · 2020-07-06T22:23:03+00:00

They like DICKS, so sometimes, they go in other countries to take a break, and then come back on the CC of their homecountry

TheGirlGetter9000 · 2020-07-06T20:54:07+00:00

To me it shows I probably want nothing to do with her. Women who have a high need to travel are probably high maintenance. And no, I’m not poor.

Physiologist21 · 2020-07-07T00:47:42+00:00

They just letting you know they want you to take them on a lot of vacations.

frappuccinoCoin · 2020-07-07T02:58:52+00:00

[deleted]

DaphneDK42 · 2020-07-07T12:34:41+00:00

No need to overanalyse. I suppose its just the best pictures she have. And it is a good memory, so it makes her feel good. Perhaps she's a waitress at McDonalds, but one time she went to Vietnam. Which pictures do you think she should post? Those in the McD uniform after a 8hr shift with grease in her hair, or those on the beach on Phu Quoc having fun with her friends?

Traveling brags in women's dating profiles

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Title	Traveling brags in women's dating profiles
Author	frappuccinoCoin
Upvotes	78
Comments	342
Date	July 6, 2020 5:45 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hmcbo6/traveling_brags_in_womens_dating_profiles/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/traveling-brags-in-womens-dating-profiles.705516 https://theredarchive.com/post/705516