Matched with a guy on OLD. He seemed nice, immediately invited me out on a Friday night with his (mixed gender) friends. I told him it was too late notice to drive an hour and go drinking with strangers. He said he understood and didn't want to make me feel unsafe, so to pick any spot that weekend that I felt comfortable with, and we could go on a date.

Upfront, I told him I'm old school and I wasn't looking for a hookup. He agreed, said he was old school too. 1st date that weekend we got brunch, it was surprisingly a lot of fun, he was a total gentleman and seemed very sweet.

2nd date was a week later. He works close to where I live and asked if he could shower at my place after work for our date (he works manual labor.) I felt safe on the 1st date, so despite some hesitation, agreed to let him shower.

Fast-forward, 2nd Date goes later than planned and he says he's very tired, and asks if he can spend the night instead of driving the 1-2 hours home.

Of course I should have sent him home, but knew he had been up since 3:45am and it was a long drive. So told him that he can sleep on the couch. We cuddle a bit, and our goodnight kiss turns into making out. He says "we can stop whenever you want."

He's obviously angling to get my pants off. He takes out his dick. I finally throw on the breaks and say "This has been fun but really, I wasn't planning on giving a blowjob or having sex tonight, or even having anyone stay over. I think I need to go to bed and say goodnight."

He kisses me and says "no problem."

The next morning I could tell the energy was off. He hung out a bit, then went home. I haven't heard from him since, and I doubt I'll hear from him again.

Some thoughts and take aways:

1) Reject a guy for sex and his true intentions will become clear as day. Young ladies, it's an easy way to weed out losers / users.

2) If I'd slept with him, knowing me, I'd be feeling vulnerable and crappy right now, instead of just mildly disappointed.

3) Doesn't matter the situation, you can always say no. I regret nothing except offering to let him sleep on the couch in the first place. Give men an inch and they take a mile.

4) Moving forward, I am gonna keep working on those boundaries and only acting in ways that make me feel safe and in control of my environment.

5) Pigs, all of them. How someone can fake-build an emotional connection and lie about their intentions just for sex... is so sad and exploitative.

6) I wish more women would say "no" and make it their favorite word so men can learn manners and boundaries. As usual, if we don't enforce our personal boundaries, men will keep pushing to see how far they get. They don't have any respect for women or sense of honor. Pathetic.

Edit: to further this cautionary tale (and my takeaway), this guy was the single, full-time father of 2 girls and obsessed with tabletop gaming (Magic, DnD, etc.) Appearances can be deceiving. I am definitely putting my boundaries first next time.

TL;DR: turn down guy for sex on 2nd date. Despite claiming to be "old school," he ghosts me. I regret nothing.