Textbook Terrible V-Day

MacrameGoose34 · 2022-02-16T04:11:35+00:00

No dude, cut your losses and date the tire. You've been thinking about this damn tire more than your gf, you need to follow your heart.

SupremeDearLeader · 2022-02-16T02:10:43+00:00

" I would do ANNNNYYYYYTHINGGG" .... the lvm scrote mantra .

Except they NEVER DO

LADIES , LIVE BY THIS : IF HE WANTED TO HE WOULD !!!

kermitmyfrog · 2022-02-16T02:13:35+00:00

how tf is this better than being alone - that a guy like this is having sex is insane

whiskey_and_oreos · 2022-02-16T01:44:07+00:00

"I'd do literally anything to keep her miserable except the bare minimum."

Her newly single friends are leveling up. I hope she joins them.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2022-02-16T03:01:54+00:00

Wait, aren't yoni eggs for women with incontinence after a childbirth? What kind of present is this? Wtf is he thinking???

queen_azulaa · 2022-02-16T04:58:36+00:00

⚠️⚠️PSA⚠️⚠️

DO NOT GET THESE YOGI EGGS! THEY ARE NOT MEDICALLY RECOMMENDED. POROUS AND HIGH RISK OF INTRODUCING INFECTIONS INTO THE V.

Pelvic floor exercises are usually done externally without the need for weighted cones but weighted kegel cones are a thing.

rightsun__ · 2022-02-16T02:25:09+00:00

Ok I was reading this and was annoyed but him so casually saying she’s a brat..... the way my eyebrows raised and eyes widen...

soursoppickle · 2022-02-16T03:09:31+00:00

Yoni eggs are to strengthen vaginal muscles… his ace in the pocket is telling her he thinks her vagina isn’t tight enough and he wants her to do exercises solely for his pleasure. So romantic.

Platipus6 · 2022-02-16T01:48:27+00:00

"I love this woman more than anyone else I've ever been with"

jesus, how does he treat his enemies...

Vaahla · 2022-02-16T01:40:43+00:00

😱 that ending…

Talk about being set up for success, he knew exactly what she wanted and literally made it worse than low effort.

I particularly like the strong finish: a single flower in a (presumably) cheap and ugly heart shaped vase, and a sex toy.

Oh, and she’s a brat.

driftinglochawe · 2022-02-16T02:41:44+00:00

C r y s t a l y o n i e g g

Dude, why are you like this?

throwawayXX139 · 2022-02-16T01:45:09+00:00

What exactly did he have to plan that was so overwhelming? Couldn't he just make a reservation in advance?

lahdiebdks · 2022-02-16T02:45:08+00:00

A flat tire, lol

All these excuses and derailing

Deneive · 2022-02-16T03:07:33+00:00

"I am no good for her, I didn't plan anything, i am a terrible boyfriend" "So excuse yourself and step up ? Make amends?" "SHE IS A BRAT EVEN THO I KNEW SHE WOULD BE PISSED OFF"

Specialist-Ebb7606 · 2022-02-16T03:37:23+00:00

Can't believe a grown 27 year old man really said we're still growing like are you kidding me??

LeaveMeAlone__308 · 2022-02-16T06:15:18+00:00

My parents are married for 30 years and my father bought my mom a fitness watch after doing all the research and discussing all possible options with me (I'm a huge fitness nerd) and picking the best one starting a week prior. That's because since retirement my mom has gotten into walking a lot.

30 years ladies.

Men who pick out Walmart chocolates in the literal honeymoon phase -- well there's a demo of how the future will be!

girltranquil · 2022-02-16T02:26:27+00:00

If you would do anything, why didn't you do something? Like plan a nice valentine's dinner and make reservations? I love hiking but for Valentine's Day? Nope.

AyemHerself · 2022-02-16T03:05:31+00:00

He must've been really attached to that flat tire. He's still grieving!

No-Village-3946 · 2022-02-16T03:50:04+00:00

YONI EGG?! He's trying to poison her vagina after all the bullshit he pulled. Shameless and disgusting. Men HATE your smart, confident, CARING single friends. That's why they try so hard to get you to dismiss their valid concerns by fixating on the fact that they're single. They *must* be jealous of my amazing dream man who neglected to do anything right on Valentine's Day. No romantic experience, just walking on an incline in the dirt. No meaningful gifts, just some chocolates I'm avoiding and a shiny rock he's going to talk me into pushing out of my vagina. No dinner reservations, just cold Chinese takeout. You're not a "lazy bastard." You seemed to have put in a lot of work at your job and getting the tire fixed, because those things were important to you. Getting her the sex egg was important too, so you did it. "Clueless" ??? Valentine's Day is the most fool-proof holiday I can think of. It is some cookie-cutter shit no matter what. No matter what kind of woman she is, she will always appreciate RESERVATIONS at a NICE restaurant, a beautiful bouquet (preferably in a vase already), and a movie. It takes a MAX of a half an hour to order flowers, put in a reservation at a restaurant, and buy movie tickets online. It's simple and most women would be perfectly happy with that. He just thought she didn't have standards and would be content enough with whatever to stick around. Now he's facing his own inadequacy and it's scary for him. He misses when things were easy.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-02-16T06:48:31+00:00

I love it when men bring up the work excuse.

it's like they think we don't work or pay bills or something.

that we just sit and look pretty and somehow all things get solved for us. by pussy magic.

"I've been so busy at work uwu"

"and had a flat tire"

scrote please.

what's next? telling us you were busy wiping your arse too? or was he too busy shoving that crystal yoni egg deep inside his arse and it got lost, somehow?

ImpressiveHat8550 · 2022-02-16T02:07:56+00:00

Lmao at all the pick me’s and Redditbros in the comments on that thread saying that she should have planned something for them. The bar doesn’t exist anymore ladies. Not only did she get him multiple gifts (ON TIME which meant she put thought into them and planned appropriately) she is also now apparently responsible for planning the date because her boyfriend can’t manage it even though Valentines Day is the same day every year. February 14. It literally never changes. As males all they’re expected to do is get a nice bouquet of flowers and make some dinner reservations. How do so many of them manage to fuck it up? Men really don’t want to do anything anymore do they? Good god, how did they get so utterly pathetic and useless?

Jandi18 · 2022-02-16T03:16:36+00:00

If low effort was on Reddit!

m00n5t0n3 · 2022-02-16T04:04:08+00:00

Ahh this is so fucking hilarious lol, and I love your highlights 😂

KetoKittenAround · 2022-02-16T04:05:14+00:00

So all he had to do was make reservations to a nice place and get her some flowers.

Instead he takes her with friends to witness it all on a cheap hike (in a car without a fixed flat tire no less) …. A thrown together meal plan after said hike when people will be hungry (LOVE how he brings up the hasty takeout they got was expensive…) and… a movie at his place.

Cheap bastard.

Here is the REAL DEAL:

He KNEW he was being cheap because he had the unforeseen cost of the car tire replacement. He knew If he had planned something he’d have to pay to fix that AND the date.

He has admitted to not putting any effort in planning or wooing his girlfriend for months. This dude actually thought he was getting away with it. All the while not understanding that resentment was building… add a friend who is newly single …. With a large dash of disappointing valentines plans and BOOM! Lost ya girl bro.

He is making so many excuses but the chocolate is what really gets me. It reminds me of the valentines I was doing keto and I was given chocolate by someone.

I was like WHAT THE HELL?!? Like I couldn’t even lick that chocolate. I wonder if he thought I’d give it to him because I couldn’t eat it?

I flushed it down the toilet. Like it is INSANE someone would show up with something like that knowing how hard the diet was for me.

Anyways… he knows what he could do but is STILL to cheap and lazy to do it. He can make a very grand gesture and be truly sorry.

Yet this wimp has only the energy to come on Reddit and farm sympathy…

FDS-GFY · 2022-02-16T04:45:30+00:00

What a fucking loser. He deserves to be alone until he grows the fuck up.

luna_prismatic · 2022-02-16T07:11:21+00:00

Ugh this is so triggering lol. His whole post is just main character victim mode. The reasons he gives to express “remorse” are self-centered. The logic is “I’m a terrible boyfriend but damnit I’m trying sooo hard and you know, I have it really hard too, with my tires and all my valiant efforts to make this brat happy”. He mentions his tires multiple times but can’t manage to mention an ounce of genuine empathy for how his actions directly made her feel. We’re supposed to understand his behavior and feel sorry for him simply because he’s “trying” and “loves her”. Get over yourself, loser.

South-Wolf1610 · 2022-02-16T03:35:29+00:00

He got her a yoni egg? I had no idea and searched up what it was and LITERALLY THE FIRST THING THAT SHOWS UP is it saying that they have no health benefits and can cause infections and be painful. Why would he even think of getting her that?

softensonic · 2022-02-16T07:19:18+00:00

We're still growing up? Sir, you are a couple blinks away from 30.

thisisausernameee23 · 2022-02-16T02:44:10+00:00

She beat mine. Mine was god awful...

horsepeenOG · 2022-02-16T03:47:18+00:00

That's what every special occasion was like with my narcissistic ex

millions_ofpeachs4me · 2022-02-16T05:39:43+00:00

This is hysterical to me. He bought her a yoni egg… what in the blue hell made him think of that? I would walk away from a man on the spot if he gave me something like that. 🤣🤣🤡

ExistentialJelly · 2022-02-16T03:58:36+00:00

And this is why Valentine's day is bogus to me. Low effort people use it as a way to make up for an entire year as a lackluster partner and try to earn enough romance credit in one day to coast them through the year. She didn't leave him because of one bad Valentine's Day, she left because it's part of a cycle. Friends aren't making those comments due to one bad day.

And yoni egg? If she asked for one, then okay, I guess, but if she didn't, how did he come to that idea? Also really bad for insertion in to the vagina due to infections.

oscine23 · 2022-02-16T03:47:54+00:00

So, one year when me and my ex-husband were on the rocks we moved bk to my hometown to be near my family, hoping that having the familial support (babysitting and such) would allow us to go out more and have time to ourselves to rekindle the spark. So, a few days before Valentine’s Day he told me he’d asked my mom to watch the kids so we could go out. I was impressed he took the initiative, and excited for something romantic.

Valentine’s Day comes and mom has the kids and we get in the car. This man informs me that he tried making reservations but he didn’t know where and now everything is booked and do I know of anywhere we can go. We ended up at some regular ass restaurant that I always go to with my friends. That’s when I knew. He gave me a sweet gift, but I couldn’t get past it. I didn’t berate him, tho.

I literally asked him for a divorce about a month later.

PicoPicoMio · 2022-02-16T08:53:20+00:00

He couldn’t think ahead.. how do men thrive in careers but falter so horribly in relationships…

millennialpink2000 · 2022-02-16T03:19:58+00:00

Guess he can use the egg on himself when it arrives

thefutureisXX · 2022-02-16T02:42:07+00:00

Yup! My husband got me the most scrotatious gift. Just wait for it. I just caught him on tinder and although I am leaving I don’t think he believes me. Idk the boxes and new job aren’t convincing enough I guess. ANYWAY! So I caught him on tinder so I’m expecting something nooiiiceee. Jewelry at the very least. This motherfucker gave me a kids nerf dart gun. Wrapped in BATMAN children’s gift paper and chocolate even though he knows I don’t really like sweets. You can’t make this shit up! At this point I’m pretttyyyy sure he WANTS me to divorce him (and I am). He cannot be this stupid………🤡🤣😭🙄 I mentioned I wanted one for work (our office is fun) and out of alllllllll the things I ever mentioned this is the one that sticks apparently. Not the beautiful moonstone ring I’ve wanted for a year and a half. Nope! She wants a toy.🙃 The gift is bad enough on its own. But that’s his “I got caught cheating” gift y’all. Like, I can’t. 🤣🤣

liberal_queen21 · 2022-02-16T03:51:01+00:00

It’s like he purposefully planned out the worst day EVER!!! What was described sounds like something I wouldn’t have stuck around for by the time “Chinese take out” and “room mate is clearing his dinner first” came to be.

fdsonlynoscrubs · 2022-02-16T08:19:17+00:00

I’m DYING at that sex egg twist at the end lololol.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-02-16T09:51:36+00:00

Bless this woman's roommates. Yes she can do better.

IcedHeart11 · 2022-02-16T03:18:21+00:00

He keeps talking about his “flat tire”. He knew about Valentine’s Day, weeks, MONTHS, in advance. Why could he not have used that time to plan something.

He literally hates her. There is no other explanation.

swaylyn · 2022-02-16T11:38:04+00:00

I… am not sure what words to string together here. DEEPLY appreciate the highlights though.

I want to laugh. I’m happy to know I don’t feel all too triggered by this story. My ex gave me shitty vday gifts last year and I knew I was done with him after that. Then he went to visit his male friend who had plans with his gf and he lied that we got into a big fight bc his friend thought it was weird he came over to hang out in vday… mmhmm

Anyway… this dude in the post is filled with contradictions. He doesn’t love her. He is scared he won’t land someone else because SURPRISE he’s a crap bc and any woman deserves better.

Vday is the same date every year… there’s no reason to not plan accordingly. Calling her a brat tells me he doesn’t want to respect her or acknowledge how she may excel more than him in certain areas of life/personality.

The emphasis on her single friends seems like a poor justification and a neg…

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2022-02-16T15:40:43+00:00

Wait, he loves her more than anyone else he’s ever been with, but also she’s a brat and he’s not sure if this relationship is worth saving? How much did he hate the other women he was with before?

This post also ties in really well to the recent post about how men don’t like being dumped mainly because they want control and the last word. It’s not about her—he could barely be arsed to do anything for her when they were together and doesn’t even seem to like her very much. He’s mainly just upset that she and her friends believe she can do better, because his ego is insulted.

janpra07 · 2022-02-16T13:24:56+00:00

His excuses have got to be the most annoying part of this whole thing. My boyfriend and I are long distance, he just moved across the country all of January and started a new job. I started classes, didn’t have a car for a while, moved across the country as well all of January and we both gave each other excellent Valentine’s Day experiences. It honestly doesn’t take a lot of time at ALL to plan a nice Valentine’s Day. Spend 40 minutes on OpenTable, Etsy and a quick Google for a floral shop in early January and it’s pretty easy. I’m not sure how his excuses have anything to do with not reaching the bare minimum.

ennu_i_sao · 2022-02-16T12:42:01+00:00

He could’ve bought her a sugar free brand of chocolate, and then tempered it into little heart molds or something. Or go to a nice candy shop for sugar free options. Being single on Valentine’s Day is much better than having to suffer through that kind of date

FineDeliciousSnakes · 2022-02-16T13:55:15+00:00

Goes on and on about how he accurately f-ed up v-day

“She’s a brat” 😂 yeah ok scrote-cha-cho, she CLEARLY did the right thing leaving your disrespectful bum

VanessaViews · 2022-02-16T16:22:47+00:00

I thought a yoni egg was some type of Faberge egg replica she wanted and thought oh well at least that's nice but he still should have planned something. Then I saw the response and googled yoni egg and OMG WTF like just let her go dude

aoi4eg · 2022-02-16T09:07:05+00:00

I low-key want her to forgive him to see what will happen when he presents a crystal yoni egg as a gift 😂😂😂

itsvkee · 2022-02-17T01:25:45+00:00

This is just embarassing. Give it up man. Low effort got you nowhere and you're shocked that you got dumped, then tried to put it back on her like she's a brat? Trash took itself out.

warinmymind94 · 2022-02-17T03:15:56+00:00

It's NOT HARD Google a restaurant. If they both like steak, lookup steak restaurants a few days ahead. Pick one, call it up, ask if they accept Valentines day reservations and then ask when they a slor available. Then agree to whatever they suggest.

Then let the gf know "love they had a spot open at 630pm for Valentines dinner. Will you be my valentine?"

Obviously the sooner the better, so she would have notice and to make sure you could have a table.

What's so hard about that. We have phones in our pockets that make this easier than ever. I personally think the mental strain and word soup bs and tricking her into a walk is harder than making a dinner reservation.

tiny_house_writer · 2022-02-16T15:51:47+00:00

Dude, maybe it's because I'm Ace, but I'd rather get a fcking set of dishes at this point than a damn YONI EGG. WTF. 🤨🤨🙄

Title	Textbook Terrible V-Day
Author	Vaahla
Upvotes	891
Comments	152
Date	February 16, 2022 1:38 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/stjhf1/textbook_terrible_vday/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/textbook-terrible-v-day.1102071 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102071

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Except they NEVER DO