YEP👏🏼

la_zarzamora · 2021-05-06T18:51:01+00:00

The mom talk I needed back in my teen years. Instead my mom is on her third marriage and was disappointed when I broke up with my first boyfriend because SHE liked him, nevermind if he made me happy.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-05-06T18:39:48+00:00

Yes, thank you! Adopting a “male model” of sexual promiscuity is incredibly damaging because we do NOT have the same freedoms as men, the same access to contraception, access to abortion, or even the same regard in society.

Men can literally knock up 5 different women and walk away from each one and nobody would call it “child abandonment”, they’d just call him a dead beat dad and try to collect child support. Women can’t even leave a child unattended in a food court to do a job interview 30-feet away without someone calling the police on them.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/texas-mom-accused-of-leaving-kids-at-food-court-during-job-interview/

Women always lose when it comes to the # of possible consequences to sexual promiscuity.

lucidlotus · 2021-05-06T19:08:12+00:00

I love this. I was raised Christian and the only message about sex I ever got was "premarital sex is evil and you'll go to hell." The only alternative I saw to it when I was younger was liberal feminism. Which has misguided so many women.

And this is gold: "Female sexual freedom is charging the highest price for sex. That is, care and commitment."

gigi_chi · 2021-05-06T18:42:08+00:00

I literally used to get called a prude for not wanting a friends with benefits. So glad messages like this are being put out.

SkiesEclipse · 2021-05-07T02:40:06+00:00

I don’t think promiscuity is even empowering for men. They’re conditioned by society to “spread their seed” and shove the feelings down when they feel hollow after another meaningless fling. They call it “post nut clarity,” I call it “your conscience screaming at you to be a better person.”

eveloe · 2021-05-06T19:05:23+00:00

This is Dr Wendy Walsh, host of the Mating Matters podcast. She discusses evolutionary biology and sexual attraction in a really cool digestible way.

Search “Mating Matters” wherever you get your podcasts

2021-05-06T19:00:01+00:00

When we’re always compared to and seen as “the other” how can we truly discover ourselves? I love this!!!

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-05-06T18:15:43+00:00

This needs to be more mainstream!

amhran_oiche · 2021-05-06T18:35:55+00:00

Seriously! How long have women been trying to act like men and wondered why they're still hurt, being used, not fulfilled, etc.

Being promiscuous, sleeping around, trying not to get attached or engage emotionally like men only benefits men. Of course they want us to have more frequent, "adventurous" sex with less-than-ideal partners! 🙃

Have you ever met a man who slept around in his youth? Who can't get or keep a girlfriend? They age out of any semblance of attractiveness and die alone. Is that what we want?

Lavender_flow · 2021-05-06T19:04:56+00:00

What a freaking rolemodel and a queen. I love it.

Female "promiscuity" is still about catering to men and giving men what they want. Giving someone what they want is never going to lead to liberation and empowerment for women, never has and never will. What she is talking about will.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-05-06T18:24:16+00:00

YEAH!!!

switchitbitch · 2021-05-06T22:47:02+00:00

I am so excited to give my mom all the surprises and love this Sunday. She taught me so much about nurturing the self, protecting your body and spirit from men and has ALWAYS been there for me. Women, we deserve so much better. We are precious and create life. Never ever ever equate yourself to a man. We are so very much more.

whydenny · 2021-05-06T21:21:37+00:00

Agree. Also want to add that they're not even 'adapting the male model' They just keep servicing men while trying to convince themselves that it's what they want.

If they were doing what men do, they would:

Expect men to dress in sexy clothing and make themselves look good according to female standards.
At the same time women shouldn't put too much effort in their looks or the date itself because 'We don't know each other so well' and 'what's on the inside counts'
Should require men to send them photos that show them in vulnerable position (for example with a dildo in their a*s). Photos that they wouldn't want anyone to see and could potentially ruin their social and professional life.
Sex is mosty oral and clit stimulation for the woman, making out and maybe the woman will touch their pp for 1 min.
Many more...

If women were doing these things, this would truly be fighting the double standard, then sure - go be promiscuous.

Lemon_bars_addiction · 2021-05-06T18:34:01+00:00

Words cannot describe how much I love and agree with this

_queeeen_ · 2021-05-06T20:29:12+00:00

This is nothing but truth. Researching her immediately.

jasmine-blossom · 2021-05-07T01:18:49+00:00

Maybe she addresses it another video, but I think another piece to sexual freedom for women is the ability to ask for what we want sexually and get it, the ability to have high standards for partner’s behavior in bed, and access to sex toys so we are able to independently have pleasure, even before ever engaging in sexual activity with a partner.

I absolutely don’t want to follow a male model of sexual freedom, so we should be designing a model for female sexual freedom that is neither the same nor the opposite of the male model.

Being self motivated to experience pleasure and having high standards for what pleasure I expect a partner to give me is a piece that’s often not talked about when it comes to female sexuality.

1Here4Bach · 2021-05-06T19:45:30+00:00

And, of course—right on cue—the pickmes and “cool girls” are in the comments on tik tok absolutely livid. If you want to have a one night stand with a greasy guy who doesn’t care if you cum or if it’s even consensual you go right ahead.

But don’t come to me complaining about how you feel used after. He did use you, sis. You were his human fleshlight and you got absolutely nothing out of it, congrats.

minor_tantrum · 2021-05-06T18:49:33+00:00

I wish I had been told this as a teenager, when I embraced the “freedom” to act like the guys. Now, after years of a good marriage and a daughter of my own, I still regret a lot about those years. In retrospect, I let guys have sex with me to seem cool and powerful in their eyes, but inside I felt used and uncared for. And of course always alone with any consequences. I like your definition of freedom much better, and will pass it in to the young women in my life. Thanks.

FDS-GFY · 2021-05-06T22:37:22+00:00

I want this in every high school

dingledangleboys · 2021-05-07T04:02:22+00:00

This in particular is why I can’t begin to understand why people call us “female incels” or think that we’re a group of misandrists. Our goal is very clearly being treated with the dignity & respect that we deserve & if a man or really any person can’t do that, we don’t have the time for them nor should we be expected to give them it. To feel like a victim because FDS doesn’t accept what you’re willing to (not) offer isn’t persecution, it’s just having standards to not accept the lowest effort available.

Suspicious-Traffic-1 · 2021-05-06T19:36:11+00:00

YES LOVE IT

Gloomy-Ad3145 · 2021-05-07T03:29:50+00:00

Dude I was with so many dirty men that when I got tested for everything I literally prayed for the first time since I was a little kid. When everything came back clear my whole mind just switched. Sex no longer interests me; men are always looking for a hole. What I want is someone to comfort me and love me for me and thankfully I have him and he was supportive of me but holy shit. No more casual sex, ever. I always made sure to have a condom but you can never be too safe.

lostmillenia · 2021-05-06T19:04:03+00:00

This is a great start to bridging the gap for women who still may have casual encounters. Info like this. Then slowly slowly.. they come to our side. Lol

My friend is entertaining an FWB situation and mostly i try to meet her in the middle. Making sure she recieves pleasure too, about std prevention ect

raphaellastorm · 2021-05-06T22:29:39+00:00

This is so true and why I absolutely hate hate normalizing sleeping around or if you’re prudish about sex or think “casual sex” is a literal oxymoron, that somehow you’re internalizing misogyny against yourself or buying into the patriarchy. Sex quite literally releases hormones that attach us to other humans. In no way is it ever casual and teaching young women that it is, ignoring their very biology, is just setting women up to be hurt and used by men. We should be allowed to demand defining a relationship before we allow ourselves to get so attached. My therapist recently told me that I should take things slow emotionally but clarified she didn’t mean physically, which I thought was an absolute joke. It wasn’t that she was against taking things slow physically if that’s what I wanted but she literally thought the concepts can be separated, and for women, they can’t. They aren’t meant to be.

hijabae_ · 2021-05-06T20:11:30+00:00

damn this is spot on! what an excellent way to word it!

Dnotchtiebd · 2021-05-06T18:32:50+00:00

Damn! I agreed to everything

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2021-05-06T22:13:40+00:00

Tell it mama!

Ok-Cow2451 · 2021-05-06T20:04:50+00:00

Saw this today! Love her

99power · 2021-05-07T01:16:21+00:00

Hope this talk is still gonna be around when me and my friends are raising daughters.

ms_monquis · 2021-05-07T14:53:37+00:00

Such an important point: Equality doesn't mean equivalence. Having options includes opting out.

The pressure to perform is still very real and very heavy, it's just got another name on it.

judithyourholofernes · 2021-05-06T22:13:01+00:00

Do not imitate men. Will you be successful if you do? Yes, at a cost. Now we have a diverse menagerie of war criminals and wagers of all violence. I want to be happy to have a woman VP of the USA, meanwhile she says the US is not a racist entity, wtf, racism is what the US has been built upon.

We can and will do better than what men have wrought.

Fitncurly · 2021-05-07T15:40:52+00:00

Yup. We are NOT men, and that is a GOOD thing. I’ll never understand women trying to find equality by being like our oppressors. The male model doesn’t work for us because it thrives in keeping us down. Know your femininity and nurture that instead of trying to turn it into masculinity.

_differentmentality_ · 2021-05-06T18:42:21+00:00

Very well said. In a better world women would be able to have casual sex without the judgment and risks that they currently face, but right now we do not live in such a world and women have more to lose through hookups. The drawbacks simply outweigh the benefits at this point.

islandmaiden · 2021-05-06T20:04:52+00:00

Hot take but I think they're not mutually exclusive. As much as I am a radical feminist as most of the ladies on this sub, I think that liberal feminists are also doing good for feminism by fighting for sexual liberation and dismantling purity culture. I don't think that we as women should shame other women for being "sexually promiscuous". There are women who just love sex, who don't get attached through sex, who orgasm easily so hookups are mutually beneficial for them, who are confident in being sexy. If that works for them, why should we shame them for it? But in turn, liberal feminists who are sex-positive shouldn't shame radical feminists for not engaging in hookups, not wanting to have sex before a relationship or saving themselves for marriage, being against BDSM, being against porn, being against prostitution, being against polyamory and polygamy.

I think that true female sexual liberation is achieved when women are not shamed for having sex, AND for not having sex. I think that it is achieved when society acknowledges women's sexual agency. It is achieved when the world becomes educated about consent. It is achieved when we stop doing things for the male gaze, and dismantle porn and prostitution that fuel misogyny and violence against women. It is achieved when we establish the definition of sexual assault and have this crime be punished proportionately. And when women are given access to free birth control, legal abortion, and sterilization.

As long as women are confident and informed in their stance, and not just doing something to adhere to what society thinks they should do--whether that's putting out on the third date or preserving their "virginity"--I don't see the issue. Instead of shaming other women and fighting amongst ourselves, we should hold men more accountable.

Watzoo · 2021-05-06T20:54:12+00:00

A billion trillion claps!!! YES!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

yfunk3 · 2021-05-06T21:15:11+00:00

Can someone link just the TikTok link for me to share with my private circle? TIA! ❤️

CloudRoses · 2021-05-06T22:56:30+00:00

Amen!!! The mom we ALL need!

quirkypinkllama · 2021-05-07T00:20:45+00:00

Amen sista!!!!

roonil_wazlib_the2nd · 2021-05-07T03:53:25+00:00

Yes. I literally don’t have anything to add to this. I love this so much.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-05-07T05:58:01+00:00

Why is common sense called "common" when it's so rare?

XxShykatxX · 2021-05-07T06:12:59+00:00

I'm going to write this down and memorize it so I can say this anytime I want.

rainbowicecoffee · 2021-05-07T12:39:39+00:00

I love her points. I was having this conversation the other day. Instead of bringing ourselves lower in the name of equality and sexual freedom. Equality should be brought by holding men to the same standard put on women.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-05-07T02:30:19+00:00

Nice.

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-05-06T20:32:33+00:00

LOVE!!

skyerippa · 2021-05-06T22:42:14+00:00

Amen!!!

Southernbelllle · 2021-05-06T23:15:09+00:00

Mic drop 🎤

vintagexrose · 2021-05-07T01:01:40+00:00

She’s right and she should say it! Of course there are people in the comments of her video complaining. 😂

tastyserenity · 2021-05-07T01:21:42+00:00

Wow, this was so wholesome ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

ra3ra31010 · 2021-05-07T02:01:32+00:00

This.

Hennyyenni · 2021-05-07T03:00:19+00:00

Beautiful post. I have to watch this everyday this woman is wise af ♥️

Dexaroo5716 · 2021-05-07T03:19:03+00:00

WORD!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

sumilia · 2021-05-06T23:24:29+00:00

Female brains also get short circuited with Oxytocin as soon as we're having sex. But the immediate drop in testosterone after sex makes males want to cut and run, so their already-lower level of Oxytocin doesn't have near the same bonding effect. We cannot outsmart our biology. We are hard-wired to attach to one man because of pregnancy. Blame evolution, but there it is.

wHAtisLife59 · 2021-05-06T20:49:23+00:00

Love this!!

Sophiestication · 2021-05-06T23:59:24+00:00

Say it louder for the people in the back!

124567z · 2021-05-07T05:42:50+00:00

YES THIS OMG. I only realised this after going down the other route though

kcnitte · 2021-05-07T12:03:09+00:00

This is so good, so true. 👍🏼

fairywakes · 2021-05-07T18:19:57+00:00

Coming from someone with a deadbeat father who had 7 children with 4 different women. THIS is more accurate than ever.

orangeboobert · 2021-05-09T01:15:23+00:00

Thank you. She is a 👑

Lazy-Tax3986 · 2021-05-07T01:49:51+00:00

What is promiscuity/promiscuous female behavior? At what point are you considered promiscuous? I wish we still weren't using those terms, but I get understand the value in this discussion.

Getting_Stronger2021 · 2021-05-07T18:59:31+00:00

Can someone tell me who this fabulous person is because I will download the toc just to share this video everywhere!!!!!!!

lilzagurach · 2021-05-06T23:22:09+00:00

Couldn’t agree more

muffinsquared · 2021-05-07T05:28:15+00:00

I appreciate the eloquence. I’ve struggled putting into words my ick feelings about female sexual liberation playing exactly into what men want.

ilackinventiveness · 2021-05-07T06:13:03+00:00

YESSSSS I got chills from this!!!! Saved this immediately.

Wakenbakenz · 2021-05-07T06:21:19+00:00

Holy shit I needed to hear that

luvmygolden_13 · 2021-05-07T09:07:41+00:00

this is incredible. thank you for sharing.

PBJellyNutella · 2021-05-14T09:48:18+00:00

This should be taught in schools!!

bmstf · 2021-05-06T19:21:30+00:00

I’m glad that there is pushback against the “ho” culture.

Title	YEP👏🏼
Author	StarlikeRumor
Upvotes	7119
Comments	167
Date	May 6, 2021 6:06 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/n6di8y/yep/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/yep.758680 https://theredarchive.com/post/758680

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