Body count and infidelity excerpts

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-03-21T18:25:06+00:00

Removed for bad faith.

Anti_Thing · 2022-03-21T14:54:10+00:00

FDS is furious rn.

Shakanaka · 2022-03-21T12:34:42+00:00

"Purple Pill Women" aren't going to like this post. lol

Saitama1993 · 2022-03-21T15:12:05+00:00

Holy fuck, this sub is a shit show. I love it

quabbicoo · 2022-03-21T11:48:38+00:00

From Psychology Today (2013,

College students who recently engaged in casual sex reported lower levels of self-esteem, life satisfaction, and happiness compared to those who had not had casual sex in the past month. And students who recently engaged in hookups had higher distress scores as indicated by levels of depression and anxiety. In contrast to the notion that men are okay with casual sex but women are not, we did not find gender differences in the relationships between casual sex and either distress or well-being. For both men and women, true hookup sex—with a casual stranger rather than a romantic partner or “friend with benefits"—seemed to bode poorly for mental health and self-esteem. Of course, this was a correlational study. We don’t know whether poor mental health caused individuals to be more likely to engage in casual sex or whether, as was shown in studies reviewed by Garcia, poor health resulted from casual sex.

See also: The results do point to a possible “cyclical pattern” in which poor mental health leads to casual sex, which leads to further declines in mental health,

See also: Is relationship satisfaction an important predictor of extradyadic behaviors? Research have showed that levels of general satisfaction with the relationship, sex, and the quality of love and affection are among the best predictors of extradyadic behaviors

And this: even though we propose that past extradyadic behaviors history has an impact on the experience of current romantic relationships, our data were correlational and consequently we cannot make strong inferences. It is possible that someone with an overall high sexual desire and that tends to perceive the quality of intimate relationships to be low, will have a higher tendency to betray their partners during the course of their lives.

trololol_daman · 2022-03-21T11:42:47+00:00

Waiting for the pearl clutching PPDers to come and debunk this post with their plethora of anecdotes.

DontwantaFairOne · 2022-03-21T16:21:47+00:00

Cool research bro…but what if I just don’t like the personalities & my treatment from high n count women?

I prefer just saying it’s a preference

Slyfer_Seven · 2022-03-21T15:23:10+00:00

Aren't a lot of those studies saying high N men are more likely to cheat as well? Am I reading it wrong?

Vanille_Croissant · 2022-03-21T13:27:16+00:00

Thank you my dude. This truly is quality posting….I’m waiting patiently for all the women who have vehemently argued against this stance in past posts to come here and not know what to answer.

By the way, considering posts in PPD usually explode within minutes… how does the upvote/downvote ratio currently look like for the post? (You can check it on desktop reddit)

itsallieellie · 2022-03-21T15:26:18+00:00

I am 27F and this is my experience, in relation to this article. My assessment comes from living in Canada and having more than 60% of my friends being married or co-habitating in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship to date.

- My female friends cheat more than my male friends prior to marriage.

- However, once married, I have found that my male friends cheat more than than my female friends. Usually this cheating takes place after baby #1 and/or #2.

- I find my homosexual friends to be more faithful, however, more openly flirtatious

This is just my overall experience. Obviously in my moms age group (60s) men cheat WAYYYY More than women do.

sosayeth · 2022-03-21T14:12:42+00:00

And this isn't even taking into account women have likely always cheated more than men, they're just admitting to it.

ogsimpology · 2022-03-21T10:17:58+00:00

My man would make a 2 hour post rather than trusting a woman 🤣

AutoModerator · 2022-03-21T09:17:57+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

hhhhhhikkmvjjhj · 2022-03-21T16:13:10+00:00

Damn that part about being a virgin hit hard. I think women should be called out more often on that. It goes against everything the women in my life has told me. I’m near virgin and it’s one of my worst fears to be rejected for it. It’s a bit silly but it is what it is.

Quantum_Supremacist · 2022-03-21T16:03:45+00:00

Yeah, it's a very promiscuous time in history. But you are still free to live up to your own standards, whatever they are, and accept or reject people for the choices they've made.

The battle of the sexes is interesting to watch.

hari_hbp · 2022-03-21T10:23:11+00:00

In a world of hook up culture and casual sex only a fool worries about promiscuity. What's the point? There's no proof as to whether somebody has been promiscuous.

And as for cheating, people in India probably have the lowest "body counts" in the world and there's still cheating. Character has more influence on whether a person is a cheater than "body count", best to judge them by that.

Prize-Thought-4205 · 2022-03-21T15:54:28+00:00

I think it’s more like 80% of women hate and despise, resent virgins, and some women, maybe 20 to 30% even are less respectful of men who have like less than 5 n count, so 10 to 15 isn’t terrible for a non religious conservative guy who has no interest in hedonism or fucking around for years in all his 20s or older teenage years and even some of his 30s, just wants to find a good wife to marry & share going through everything in his life with. Unless the women is a virgin herself, value purity, maybe had a purity ring and her cherry was never popped. Or religious women who are saving themselves for a husband, they value a man’s virginity HEAVILY, but he still has to be of value or they won’t want to be with him or respect him enough to stay loyal for decades if he stops progressing in life. Now a days I consider a man like this who can get a women with less than past 5 sexual partners lucky, she can still pair bond A LOT if the man is of value, has his shit together.

mikey152 · 2022-03-21T15:35:01+00:00

The ways this sub Reddit continually reduces complex, multi-variate people into single-variable stereotypes so that they can apply bullshit statistical narratives never ceases to blow my mind. Context is everything…that is why actually getting to know people is far more powerful than any statistics model.

Narrative like this make it easy to maintain the pity party that a lot of the red, black whatever pilled men of ppd love throwing for themselves…you see, if all women are sluts and all sluts are cheaters, their inability to make meaningful connections aren’t their fault…they just haven’t found their unicorn yet. No reason to look inward. Pretty convenient.

Of course someone (male or female) who is actively sleeping around is more likely to continue doing so when they enter a relationship. But not everyone with a high n is actively increasing their number. Some change (for a multitude of reasons) and can make wonderful partners whose experience is a blessing, not a curse.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2022-03-21T11:40:09+00:00

Has anyone ever thought that maybe those people are polyamorous/polygamous but just not expressing or understanding that fact about themselves in a culture that’s more geared towards monogamous marriages?

TigerXtrm · 2022-03-21T12:01:27+00:00

This is comparing apples to oranges.

A truism in psychology is that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

The only predictor for future infidelity is a history of infidelity. What a person did while they were single bears zero relation to their behavior within a serious relationship.

I can definitely understand the connection, whereby someone who has a naturally high libido will probably have more sexual partners and therefore might have a higher need for sex than their partner, thereby having a higher risk of cheating. But to come to the conclusion that high body count = predicted cheater is incredibly short sighted. If only because one's libido tones down quite significantly as you get older. So even if you fucked 50 people during your 20's because you were such a horndog back then, it says absolutely nothing about you in your late 30's and onward. And who knows, you can find a partner who actually manages to keep up with your high libido. There are so many variables at work here that the conclusion OP desperately wants to reach here is nothing short of invalid.

CyJackX · 2022-03-21T15:24:03+00:00

My qualm with dating based on statistics is that you're never dating a statistical sample set; you're dating a person with whom your entire set of interactions is far more likely to influence how the relationship turns out. It ignores all the agency one has. Like "No matter how you treat or engage with this person, a statistical coin flip will determine their fidelity."

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-03-21T13:31:17+00:00

I have never know so many people worry about cheating, is it a male thing? As none of my friends are too worried either

Darklillies · 2022-03-21T16:09:26+00:00

A lot of these studies don’t specify geneder, just ‘people’ they’re essentially saying that people who have no problem fucking a bunch of strangers have hard time being tied down, wich like, no fucking duh. That makes sense, but based on the studies, it goes both ways.

mydaycake · 2022-03-21T15:24:55+00:00

I mean, ok, women now can cheat if they want because the social pressure, if caught, is pretty similar to what happens to men, nowadays. Can we talk about women not being able to have bank accounts, jobs or contracts without husband’s authorization until quite recently? That would disuade lots of cheating and divorce and even just stay unmarried.

But the OP does not include in his post that, in the studies and articles says that, still men are more likely to cheat than women and still over 10 percentile points ahead of cheating women numbers. If OP is talking about being discerning about who you date, the advice serves to women even more, with the additional issue that body count may not correlate with the cheating so even more caution is needed for women. That’s in his world. I rather don’t date that being distrustful all the time.

BlockedAgainIGuess · 2022-03-21T14:14:11+00:00

This is why I don’t date men. This is extreme levels of loser shit. Get a fuckin life.

Like before women surpassed men in cheating, did we do fuckin masters level research about men’s cheating? No, we just hit the motherfucker with a frying pan if we caught him. Jesus Christ. Fuckin nerds.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-03-21T14:48:23+00:00

No one's saying you can't care about body count. But we are allowed to judge you for it. Unless you're a virgin yourself, you just come across as insecure.

And clearly you are, if you need to read studies about cheating to feel capable of vetting.

Oobroobdoob · 2022-03-21T13:43:10+00:00

I’m not really sure the point of all these research. What’s the conclusion ? Sexually active woman bad don’t trust woman?

There’s so much variety in one’s social circumstances that can determine whether high N count is a red flag or not. If you live in an environment where most people get married before 25, then a high N count is a cause for alarm.

If you live in a big city environment where most people remain unmarried until their 30s (NYC, LA, DC…) and date a new person maybe every 4-6 months, it’s pretty easy to get high N count without cheating or being overtly promiscuous. And those women remain single not because they’re sexual deviants and can’t keep a man down , but because they’re pursuing time intensive careers and don’t have the time to start a family. Once they do get married they aren’t inherently doomed to adultery. In fact maybe the opposite - because both sides of the couple could sow their wild oats in their 20s and are now ready to settle down.

Aviadcool111 · 2022-03-21T15:08:56+00:00

Hey, op do you have any stats on the median number of sex partners, especially for the younger generation?

greedyleopard42 · 2022-03-21T16:51:33+00:00

men with high counts are more likely to cheat as well. this isn’t just a women thing.
sure there’s a correlation, but that’s just a single variable. there are still LOTS of promiscuous people who will NOT cheat, so we shouldn’t judge them all to be cheaters.

statistically certain minorities commit more crimes in general, but that DOESNT mean we should assume a random individual one is going to be a hardened criminal.

men who watch porn are more likely to cheat than ones who don’t. does that mean they’re gross and people should completely avoid dating them?

DorianneGrey · 2022-03-21T11:39:54+00:00

So…every couple of months you create a post like this and spam it all over Reddit trying to drum up support for your personal puritanical crusade…how’s that working for you?

Here’s an idea, maybe spend that time interacting with actual women instead of obsessing about how much premarital sex they may be having🤷‍♀️.

DeJuanBallard · 2022-03-21T16:22:54+00:00

No statistics or study on this subject will ever be viable or reliable, much too easy to lie. Skew data, impart bias

bluehorserunning · 2022-03-21T18:00:29+00:00

"The percentage of men who admitted to infidelity "held constant at 21 percent," while "the percentage of wives having affairs rose almost 40 percent ... to 14.7 percent in 2010."

“Men are still more likely to cheat than women,” Yanyi Djamba, director of the Auburn Montgomery Center For Demographic Research, told Bloomberg. “But the gender gap is closing.”"

Hypocrite.

IDGAF if you want a low-n woman, if you are also low-n; IDGAF if you're a high-n man, if you also want a high-n woman and an open marriage. But I hate hypocrites. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

2022-03-21T16:06:53+00:00

Haha this is a PPD work of art!

JohnDoe_Rip · 2022-03-21T17:28:53+00:00

Great post.

2022-03-21T17:38:05+00:00

Mic drop

Obvious-Bread8144 · 2022-03-21T17:40:54+00:00

This is conjecture, but I feel the real culprit, that moves women into promiscuity and they avoid even saying anything that leaves them vulnerable to being held to account: I think sex commitments is the last thing to go in any and all late-stage, development stage of civilization. Women are always and will always be a prized and in limited availability. Sorry. As much as feminists imply women take over the world, I don't see anything to rebut the fact, on every level, men are driven harder, are driving harder, their biology sends them further, and you don't need a therapist to know, one example: trust issues manifest as social avoidance, and overblown risk aversion. Another arena men will always dominate. Now, I think that, sexually, the same is true there. I think as far as "no strings attached," and "Open Relationship" also promiscuity, infidelity, etc, right now, I believe, is as bad as its gonna get. For the same reasons. Well, no matter what,, hetero is normative, and majority by a landslide. And so, no matter what, men will retain power, and influence, and be a variable, no matter what women decide or not decide on, they still have to go through a man, to get to her own sexuality. And, I say it won't get worse, because, those prized characteristics about men's extremes, compared to women's safety margins, those apply in the bedroom too. So all women have to go through a man to reach her own sex, to reach sex, and men may be between 1 and 10, in attraction, but it's easy for us men to forget, unlike us, the women have to control, 1 to 10, on a negative scale. Thing like, aggression, volatility, mental health issues, danger, risk, violence etc. So, that becomes a very natural and impenetrable block, or wall, or limited, on the extent women can engage with men at all. Personally, I think that masculinity worldwide is still unresvrd, and being guilt, and pain and punishment gluttons: what I call the last stage of "processing" anyone's past, who is either becoming non-abusive, where they abused before, or the case where a regular Joe studies, so he can guarantee the world he won't abuse. The inevitable prior to the ending that flows from feminism since the 1940's, women's rights worldwide, world wide, zero tolerance policies on abuse, effective policing etc. So, actually I think we swung too far the other way. To the extent the men pay the price for 6000 years of Male abuse of women, by the fact,, worldwide, women's abuse rates are currently 1 to 1 with men. A MASSIVE proliferation. So, watch out, women!!! In ten, 20 year,, when the men are finally on the rebound and well into their own healthy, functional non-abusive, non-obligatory selves, how many men got hurt? That, in the cycles of abuse as I studied them, is a powerful moment. For women, this is, like, the women who, that day of awareness they had been abused and exploited horribly, they killed their husbands. The problem common to all those who someone could right now victimize them, is that the victim. Will always later finally recognize abuse as abuse, but right now, they can't see abuse if it slapped them in the face. So, so what if men worldwide universally stopped offering promises to all women, is that the worst case scenario?? Absolutrlu not. See, victims don't know this: they all think they are so strong and tough, how much they can take. But, if I allowed a woman to hit me today, then, no matter what, later on, I have to get the hurt and pain out. It WILL come out. Victims need to smarten the f*** up and start blocking abuse now, by realizing they will have to pay twice, before the first is done. So, in that sense, victims become aggressors and never see it coming. What women need to watch out for, is I predict all this abuse of men by women inevitably must always results in a massive, huge uptick, of Male physically violent abuse of women. Its gonna happen. When it does, the number of actually safe men will drop down. Women are gonna get starved, relation ally, for having fed too many hungry starved men absolute horseshit, for all of ten years before. Watch it!!

Obvious-Bread8144 · 2022-03-21T18:18:37+00:00

Yeah; you would go there it's why I said I studied. DUDE, : I am coming from a clinical, scientific, fact and evidence based, scientific, publicly available body of work on abuse: the typical patterns, events and so on. Plus, I had to endure a ten year relationship where I was very consistently raped. So, no. What is opposite of INCEL? THAT is who I am. And where I am talking from. Check those insults. You throw them around without barely any knowledge

a1b1no · 2022-03-22T04:39:43+00:00

Does anyone have the post saved?

resavr_bot · 2022-03-22T21:21:20+00:00

A relevant comment in this thread was deleted. You can read it below.

From Psychology Today (2013,

> College students who recently engaged in casual sex reported lower levels of self-esteem, life satisfaction, and happiness compared to those who had not had casual sex in the past month. And students who recently engaged in hookups had higher distress scores as indicated by levels of depression and anxiety. In contrast to the notion that men are okay with casual sex but women are not, we did not find gender differences in the relationships between casual sex and either distress or well-being. [Continued...]

^The ^username ^of ^the ^original ^author ^has ^been ^hidden ^for ^their ^own ^privacy. ^If ^you ^are ^the ^original ^author ^of ^this ^comment ^and ^want ^it ^removed, ^please ^[Send ^this ^PM]

greedyleopard42 · 2022-03-21T17:05:46+00:00

actually interacting with the person is going to tell you much more than statistics regarding a single variable unless you’re extremely socially inept

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-03-21T15:44:18+00:00

Cool. Would much rather have a fantastic sex life and be cheated on than date a female virgin and do dispassionate missionary with the lights off.

RPs who expect porn star sex from virgins are as bad as BP men who don't realize promiscuous women almost never change

PurpleKittensRock · 2022-03-21T17:00:13+00:00

First of all, this research is quite old (data only running up to 2010 for cheaters - that's 12 years ago, people...)Second, I can accept the correlation of promiscuity to infidelity, this is bloody obvious in both men and women - if you slept around in your youth, you'll probably sleep around into retirement. There is undeniably a segment of population that does that, irrespective of whether or not you ask them for their body count, because they will likely lie... and you will never find out.But what exactly are the cheating statistics based on? Surveys and polls? Same for the statistics for virgins... I certainly never got asked whether I would date a virgin or not, so if you're not polling the whole population - then what exactly are you trying to prove? That 40 out of 100 sampled women wouldn't date virgins? Well how is that reflective of the whole population?So then it's not "40% higher overall" - but "40% higher in number of respondants. That's not "factual, recorded cases", I can't see where it shows the number of actual recorded cases, and ratio to overall population?

I mean, OP is clearly trying to prove the utility of "body count" - but why does it matter exactly? The post itself (and many other articles/posts like that on the internet) is trying to demonstrate that a high body count is bad. If it's considered as bad - women with high counts will lie about having high counts. So if you are trying to defend men's right to ask someone how many people they've slept with - what's the point, if you are not going to weed out the highly promiscuous types anyway, because they will lie? All you'll do is repel the low-n-counts by asking the question, as they will think you are a douche...

meteorness123 · 2022-03-21T18:01:45+00:00

The best thing in my life I've done is to not to listen to hermit psychologists on how to live my life or read and obsess over studies about human behavior and instead just live and listen to my gut. Can recommend

Title	Body count and infidelity excerpts
Author	BlindMaestro
Upvotes	132
Comments	503
Date	March 21, 2022 9:17 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tj7ndh/body_count_and_infidelity_excerpts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/body-count-and-infidelity-excerpts.1108288 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108288

Comments