Daily Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2021-11-24T23:00:18+00:00

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc... in...

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so what they wanted to do anyway became honor.

you seem to think men as a monolith agree what they want, honor was used to control men lower in the hierarchy.

To stop men from raping, pillaging, to answer call to assemble an army, to live according to a certain code of ethics.

Sure the few men at the top made these rules to benefit them and society. I guess there was enough value in the deal that men choose to take it. The social contract is two-way and men who had honor were respected and got meaning in their life.

Women were not offered this deal and they struggled to be known as honorable even if they acted with honor. I think even now in many domains women feel anger at having to work many times harder than men to get the same level of respect and admiration. So in that situation, women might not feel the allure of honor as much as men, the deal won't make sense... if you don't get the incentives in place.

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[–]Insidious-SidI get paid to ridicule Thirsty Simps - Ask me how! 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mairomasterPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]BrownEyedGringa 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

He repeatedly told me he prefers to stay home most of the time, and typically just reads Reddit. I like to go out, be active, go to restaurants, be around people, etc... I brought this up with him and while he said he would be willing to do certain things, I didn't want to feel like I would have to force him all the time. He seemed like the opposite of me in terms of lifestyle.

He was also quite late to both our dates, which rubbed me the wrong way... I think he might have had trouble getting out of his house.

He also told me he doesn't like spending money on drinks and food, which is totally valid, but it would be kind of a dealbreaker for me since I love restaurants and prefer not to go alone!!

I think ideally I'd want a partner who was more extroverted or maybe was more into LIVING life.

[–]CFinCanada 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Insidious-SidI get paid to ridicule Thirsty Simps - Ask me how! 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]worldnewsie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (21 children) | Copy Link

You guys see this video of a guy who got killed by a stepdad after the mom fucked around with custody?: https://www.everythinglubbock.com/news/local-news/kyle-carruth-attorney-makes-case-for-self-defense-after-deadly-shooting-of-chad-read/

The dad was supposed to get his son at 3:15, and the mom was playing games saying he'd have to wait until six. The stepfather got involved and shot him. Fathers get screwed so often on custody. Even when he wants custody, the mom is out here trying to thwart it. But could you imagine being the son? I'd hate my piece of shit mom for the rest of my life probably.

EDIT: It gets juicier. So the bio mom is having an affair with the shooter, who is apparently married.

“Christina Read and Kyle Carruth have been engaged in an ongoing affair, despite Kyle Carruth being married. On October 30, 2021, Chad Read informed Christina Read that he had evidence of her affair with Kyle Carruth and that he was going to go public with it. On November 5, 2021, after 4:00 p.m., myself and my minor son were physically present when Chad Read met with Christina Read at Kyle Carruth’s residence at 2100 90th St, Lubbock, Texas. We were there to pick up Chad’s youngest son. Chad was supposed to have custody of the child beginning at 3:15pm, but Christina stated that, she “wanted to see him” as her excuse to why she had not produced the child as ordered by the court at the time required.

“I believe that Christina Read and Kyle Carruth engaged in a conspiracy to assault and/or murder Chad that day.

[–]Kaleidoscopiquant 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]SonicBackScratcherGreen Eyed Member of the LGBFJB community 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Kaleidoscopiquant 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SonicBackScratcherGreen Eyed Member of the LGBFJB community -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[permanently deleted]

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[–]worldnewsie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link

Did I say the guy shooting had zero responsibility? No. But the situation was clearly brought on due to the actions of the mother. She defied court ordered custody agreements with the flimsy excuse of "I wanted to see him". You really think there's zero malice there? Who was the first bad faith actor in the entire situation? The mother. These two men had no reason to meet, other than due to the actions of the mother. She's the hinge in the entire situation.

That's a dumb analogy because the bf wasn't involved in any way with the actual event. The bf didn't do anything illegal. Maybe if he had cut the brakes or something. I'm not saying the gun seller was the one responsible for this situation, which is what your trite analogy would actually correspond to.

If you are capable of empathy, try to think about it from the son's POV. You're supposed to see your dad at 3:15, and he wants to see you too, but your mother decided no against a prior agreement. Then her bf shoots your dad. And according to recent articles is still with the man that shot your father. You're telling me you wouldn't be mad at your mother at all?

[–]Kaleidoscopiquant 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

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[–]goneaway2thewind 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Because it's pointless. I've been messaged multiple times about not wasting effort on PPD. Many people aren't debating in good faith and aren't equipped for logical objective discourse.

When "I don't know any woman that has ever done a bad thing" becomes the main argument against everything it turns from debating TRP to devolving it through invalidating any criticism at women's emotional expense. If we are going to pretend the world is perfect and women are wonderful you can go literally anywhere else for that, but eventually people become exhausted from the nonsense.

There are nuggets of wisdom here and there and I do respect some ladies and gentlemen that still try, but for most people it comes to a point where their knowledge is best used for their individual lives over debating here.

[–]mairomasterPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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That's the problem, I want better teachers. YouTube and online is great, but having a good, admirable, and a teacher that cares helps more than just deliver information. You need teachers to be good mentors that inspires and encourage intellectual curiosity, not someone that just reads off of a textbook. For you to look up YouTube videos to learn, it means you already have the ambition and desire to learn, but there are people that may need more of a push to do that.

In high school when people were talking about what we want to do and what program to apply for, we realized that everyone that had good grades were aiming for industry jobs, and only some people that had kinda mediocre grades were trying to be teachers because of the pay issue. That means the next generation will be taught by all the people that did pretty bad in school and that's sad. There were smart people that would've loved teaching, but didn't do it because the pay was terrible. It's sad especially since sometimes you meet absolutely wonderful teachers that really should be paid more.

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]chalkandapples1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There will always be people that are more driven than others, and that's fine. But as a society, if we have a way to give everyone the best chance they've got, why not? All nations have always benefited economically and productivity wise by investing in their public education system.

Some people are naturally motivated without teachers encouraging them, but some may just need a push. Maybe some people are already getting the encouragement and guidance they need at home, while others can really use a good teacher to guide them along, but is just as capable once they get that push. Some may never be interested no matter what, but that's ok. As a nation, wouldn't it be better to have 2/3 of people being intellectually curious and unlocking their full potential than 1/3? You'll still have successful and unsuccessful people, but I would rather have the successful people be very successful because they're very good, rather than everyone else being bad in comparison.

Going back to the parents helping to motivate their kids thing, some of us are lucky enough to have good parents, and a good parent can be such a positive influence. But a teacher in their career can touch so many more people, having better teachers is one of the best return on investments I feel like we can have on society. Isn't it ridiculous that the people that the people that didn't do well in school or wasn't that academically motivated end up being the people that teaches and is responsible for the education of the next generation?

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So that is you? you are not that balding but if you frown and cause the eye brows to raise and the forehead skin to wrinkle up then it will look like this - not so bad. Take pics when your face is relaxed and smile.

Grow your hair a bit and mimick some nice hairstyles, what works for me is pushing it up near the front and cutting off the sides.

afaik you can't regrow lost hair - you can stop more hair loss and you can stitch new hair on the places where you lost it.
Premature hair loss can start with a receding hairline or loss at the crown.

Premature hair loss can start with a receding hairline or loss at the crown.

Male pattern baldness, also called androgenic alopecia is largely genetic and is hard to prevent but there are other reasons for hair loss.

Prevention

1) Stop using hard water to wash your hair 2) Ensure you are getting the appropriate nutrients in your diet - biotin, vitamins, try a supplement. 3) Learn how to dry your wet hair gently - pat it dry, try using a microfiber towel. Use a wide toothed comb and don't tug when hair is tangled. 4) Meditate, lower your stress levels. 5) Try using shampoo and conditioner 3 times a week, or apply hair oil. See a dermatologist about your scalp health, do you have dandruff? Massage your scalp when you apply these to stimulate blood flow. 6) Do you have any medical conditions? fungal infection? is it acute or chronic loss? hormonal changes due to pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and thyroid problems can cause hair loss 7) Hair loss can be a side effect of medication, or hair styling, coloring, lifestyle choices like smoking, obesity, etc.

Medicines

1) Minoxidil (Rogaine) is a topical medication applied to the scalp. Minoxidil slows hair loss for some men and stimulates the hair follicles to grow new hair. Hair loss often happens again when you stop taking the medication. Possible side effects associated with minoxidil include dryness, irritation, burning, and scaling of the scalp. 2) Finasteride (Propecia, Proscar) is an oral medication that slows hair loss in some men. It works by blocking the production of the male hormone responsible for hair loss. Finasteride has a higher success rate than minoxidil. When you stop taking finasteride, your hair loss returns. The side effects of finasteride include depression, itching, rash, hives, breast tenderness, breast, growth, swelling of the face or lips, painful ejaculation, pain in testicles, difficulty getting an erection, breast cancer.

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So I’m staying with my cousins for Thanksgiving and also helping them move into a new house and stuff, and drama’s going downnn

Basically my 16 year old cousin got in big trouble with his parents and I couldn’t understand it all because I don’t know Punjabi, but man this kid has some serious issues. I’d cut him some slack because he’s only 16, but at that age I would never swear at my mom or at my fucking 7 year old cousin for that matter, I mean seriously dude? You had it coming.

It’s funny because a couple weeks ago he was talking all kinds of shit to us kids (I say kids but I’m 20, still counts though) like he could easily kick his dad’s ass if he wanted. That was obviously a lie now lol, his dad straight up verbally disciplined his ass.

Anyway looks like it’s gonna be a fun weekend.

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The only reason incest porn has risen in popularity is because it's the only taboo left.

My theory is porn is literally running out of kinks. A couple of years ago it was all black guys with white chicks, before that anal, before that squirting.

Porns problem is that it has a content problem. New porn isn't better than old porn (film quality aside). About the only real difference is hair styles and shaved bushes from the 80's on.

If anything porn in the 90's peaked in production values before the internet basically made making porn so easy and cheap the bigger studios couldn't make money doing their higher end movies.

So here we are basically creating "click bait" porn. Sooner or later we are going to run out of things to do with those holes that hasn't been done, leaving only the most weird of fetishes under (not un) explored.

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What if something like this was real? What would a world like that look like?

What would the threshold be for getting assigned a wife?

He doesn’t say anything about what kind of wife he wants, but we can probably assume he wants someone young and pretty. So how do we quantify how “much” he deserves? There aren’t enough young and pretty women in the world for every man, so who gets stuck with the older or uglier women? Who makes the assignations? What if you don’t like your partner? Do the women’s opinions come into play at any point, or is the idea that everyone just gets stuck in a relationship and no one, man or woman, gets a say?

I think it would be fun if it was somewhat of a monkey’s paw situation - like yeah, you get assigned a wife, but she’s 6’5” and wants to bench press you, or something.

Thoughts?

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'Assortative mating' can mean many things when you get into the details. First off, I think 'hypergamy' is hard to define in terms of the underlying evolved instincts that support it. Those instincts tend to be more generalized such that hypergamous behavior can manifest differently as society changes. We've already seen it move away from education level as women outcompete men for education. It now seems stuck on income, but whether it can move from there to something else remains to be seen.

Also, hypergamy is capable of calibrating to various levels of distinction. We might consider it assortative mating because the man and woman are 'roughly' in the same class or tier by certain criteria. But that doesn't mean women were not very sensitive in a hypergamous way to distinctions within that level. I'm not sure how we would determine a person's percentile ranking, exactly. But it's far from clear that in general women are matched with their exact percentile equivalent, and since that is unlikely, I'd bet they end up with someone above rather than below a lot more often, even if by a relatively modest number of percentile points.

In addition, unmet hypergamy has an impact within marriages and relationships. Even if under social pressure or a desire for kids, a woman 'settles' for something close to her counterpart in rankings, her satisfaction in the relationship is impacted by whether she feels her husband is good enough for her. How she treats him. Their sex life. General satisfaction. These are all impacted. So is the likelihood of divorce once the kids have hit a certain age, etc. TRP is not wrong that there is an increasing patter of late marriage, have some kids with financial support, then get out of the marriage once kids are old enough and if the woman can find a way to have enough financial security to do so, either through her own earnings, divorce law, and/or the resources of a new partner.

Finally, and most importantly, the old widespread monogamy system is still in the process of disintegrating, along with various checks to women's natural sexual selectivity and hypergamy. It's far from clear where this ends up. Without society-level intervention, what level of male sexlessness do we end up with? What birthrate? How bad will it be?

Anyways, I do want to say that none of this is a moral judgment on men or women at this point. We are made how we are made, and react to the culture based on our nature and the incentives of the society. It is what it is.

[–]rosesonthefloor 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattD 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Which is pretty much why, when we wanted to make sure more people were paired, we did a lot of different things. It was a comprehensive social engineering policy on many fronts to try to make widespread enforced monogamy work with the natural selectivity of women, and the desire for sexual variety and leverage of high value men.

You do say elsewhere that we are past sacrificing the individual for the whole in such ways. Maybe. But the rapid decline of the monogamy model will be a serious test. A lot depends on what kind of gender balance and mating system springs up organically at the equilibrium point under our current 'no rules' system.

If what bubbles up organically does not work and threatens the viability of society on an existential level, that will be the biggest threat to the liberal rights, individualistic model. Who knows what we might have to do?

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"Entitlement" language often distorts more than it illuminates, though this guy does sound like an entitled, semi-autistic asshole who has no empathy for women at all.

But he does have a core point, but it isn't exactly how he sees it. There is a tension between a paradigm of widespread enforced monogamy where the vast majority of adults marry and have kids, and female sexual selectivity and hypergamy. In the past, consciously or semi-consciously, many societies have felt that the need for widespread monogamy outweighs everything else, even if it means a lopsided erotic sacrifice on the part of women. One could argue this was still ultimately more in women's interests too, as even the unfairness of this arrangement beats having your society outcompeted and eliminated.

But even in the various versions of enforced monogamy society, one doesn't usually see (perhaps never sees), outright distribution of wives based on some evaluation of every man's merit based on their innate intelligence. There is still usually some type of market and male competition within which the women (or their families) have some agency in mate selection. So a guy like him is rarely entitled to a given wife of a certain status just for being who he is. He still usually has to compete in some way.

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I think it’s fair to say that past societies seemed to have had a more nationalistic (for lack of a better term) sensibility - i.e. the good of the nation/society trumps the good of the individual, whereas these days there’s definitely a further slant towards individualistic ideals. And that’s on a broader societal level. I don’t see how some “entitlement” to a wife/husband could be realistically enforced, regardless of the amount of societal pressure, unless it happened everywhere at once.

But yeah regardless, there was always some form of competition. Even if men were the pursuers, there was still a level of competition among the women, and among the men for the women. The only people I can think of who might be “handed” a partner would have been those who brokered alliances via marriage, and even then, it could be a competition to see who would provide the best alliance.

So is competition part of the very essence of male/female mate selection then, if there has always been something of it on some level? So then something like in that post could never actually work.

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Yeah -- let's celebrate genocide with a big fat turkey.

********************

the Pilgrims robbed ancestral graves before establishing “America’s home town” in the abandoned Native village of Patuxet, where an estimated 90% had perished from a European-originating pandemic they called the Great Dying.
And that the weakened Wampanoag saved the settlers, 50% of whom died the first winter, by teaching them to farm in return for trade and protection – only to be murdered in battle, sold into slavery, their land stolen, their language wiped out, their children taken for indentured servants and the survivors forced to convert to Christianity, by the very people who triumphed the right to worship.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/nov/25/thanksgiving-myth-wampanoag-native-american-tribe

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She also made a (now deleted) post saying "AITA for being upset my boyfriend calculated how much he subsidizes my life?"

It sounds like they were both financially ridiculous. He's a frugal person who has a great credit score, obviously is careful about debt and repayments, has a vintage car he owns, etc. She's...well, the exact opposite. Honestly, I would never take out a loan for someone like this since it's a good way to get stuck with another's debt. My own mom asked me to cosign a $40k loan for her last year and I refused bc that's enabling.

In one of her comments she mentions not wanting to become a financial burden to him/owing him anything via this loan. Meanwhile not understanding that by allowing him to pay 70% of bills and not stepping up as a fucking adult she's already doing that. 🙄 I think it's likely he started to get sick of being the main provider, showed her how much he was doing in the relationship, and wanted to take out the loan to force her into adulting. She freaked out and acted harshly because she has no clue how to handle money and it's obviously an issue for her that can't be fixed by a partner. Imo it's actually good they broke up.

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[–]duskst0ne2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I mean most women work 8 hour days too lol. Even the ones who don't are busy taking care of your children, so it's not like they're just lounging around at home enjoying free money.

Either way, a woman "simply not wanting to" is an issue with desire. It's not normal to not want to have sex with your partner. Women don't just put up with sex until they get married and then say "great, I don't have to do this anymore" - women generally actually desire their partner and actively want sex with them, at least in the beginning of a relationship. If that changes, you should troubleshoot what changed in the relationship.

but saying "fuck you, I don't care about your desires, I don't want to" is a shit spouse.

What is saying "fuck you, I don't care about your mental health or your happiness in this relationship" then? I genuinely wonder if men are just incapable of understanding this, but duty sex is awful and borderline traumatic, and it will make you hate your partner. There is no "have a happy marriage and just put up with frequent sex you never want" option.

I mean the expectation when you get married is that you'll get to have sex with your wife.

yes and this is a bad way of framing marriage, and exactly why people starting saying "relationships aren't transactional" and "you aren't owed sex"

[–]dbz191 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If having sex with the person you ostensibly love and are committed to spending the rest of your life with is borderline traumatic, maybe you shouldn't be married to them.

No matter how you put it, when you sign up for marriage, there is the expectation of sex, and getting shafted over that meant you signed up for a bad deal.

and exactly why people starting saying "relationships aren't transactional"

Except life is transactional. You do things for other people, they do things for you. When you're married to someone you ostensibly love, you're supposed to care about them and their feelings, and they are supposed to care about yours. You do as much as you can for the other to the best of your ability.

Imagine if every single partner got out of doing anything by saying "not transactional". "Don't want to wash the dishes, relationships aren't transactional." "Don't want to drive the kids to school, relationships aren't transactional." "Don't want to love you, relationships aren't transactional." It's literally just a lazy excuse for taking and not giving.

[–]duskst0ne1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Imagine if every single partner got out of doing anything by saying "not transactional". "Don't want to wash the dishes, relationships aren't transactional." "Don't want to drive the kids to school, relationships aren't transactional." "Don't want to love you, relationships aren't transactional." It's literally just a lazy excuse for taking and not giving.

I started this conversation out by saying that sex is different from most other activities like this. Like I said, maybe it's so far from the male experience that it's hard to understand, but regular duty sex has a negative effect on your mental health and how you feel about your partner that is just completely not comparable to doing the dishes when you don't want to.

I'm not saying that men should just accept marriage without sex. I'm saying that they find a way to get their wife actually want to have sex with them. When you sign up for marriage, there's also the expectation that you'll work together to solve problems and that the husband will continue to be a good and caring partner (which does not just mean being a financial provider). Marriage is not just a complicated prostitution contract where you automatically get sex and children in exchange for working a full-time job.

[–]dbz191 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

but regular duty sex has a negative effect on your mental health and how you feel about your partner that is just completely not comparable to doing the dishes when you don't want to.

Unless you have a medical condition like vaginismus, or some other medical condition, I don't understand how you can be in love with someone in a romantic sexual way and have the idea of having sex with them so revolting and unbearable that it becomes traumatic. I'm not saying sex with someone you don't want isn't traumatic for women, of course it is; what I'm saying is that if is so traumatic, then I don't understand how you can say you are in love with that person in a sexual romantic way. Maybe you just love them like a friend by that point, but you can't say it's the love that you experience for a romantic partner.

I'm saying that they find a way to get their wife actually want to have sex with them. When you sign up for marriage, there's also the expectation that you'll work together to solve problems and that the husband will continue to be a good and caring partner

How long should they give therapy before calling it quits? I'd say a year is more than enough, and if you've gone that long and your partner still isn't into you, its not really a marriage anymore. You're roommates with shared custody of children. Except divorce sucks and you only get to see your kids on a certain number of days and you have to move out of your own house. So basically you're stuck with choosing between a shitty divorce life, a sexless marriage where you resent your partner, or cheating. Why would anyone put someone they love through that?

Marriage is not just a complicated prostitution contract where you get sex and children in exchange for working a full-time job.

No matter how you try to frame it, anyone sane person signing up to a marriage would have an expectation of sex. You can even get a marriage annulled in most countries if you don't have sex afterwards.

[–]duskst0ne2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't understand how you can be in love with someone in a romantic sexual way and have the idea of having sex with them so revolting and unbearable that it becomes traumatic

Yes because you are a man.

And yeah I think a year is reasonable. Perhaps longer if there's extenuating life circumstances like having just had a baby, illness, grief, etc.

So basically you're stuck with choosing between a shitty divorce life, a sexless marriage where you resent your partner, or cheating. Why would anyone put someone they love through that?

The woman in this situation is stuck between a shitty divorce life, a marriage where she's forced to have unwanted sex that makes her resent her partner, or having a partner who cheats on her. Why would anyone put someone they love through that?

It's a shitty situation, but I think if you're stuck in a totally unfixable dead bedroom where the desire is just gone and not coming back, the only fair option is divorce.

[–]dbz191 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes because you are a man.

I don't understand how it's different for a man than it is for a woman. When you love someone in a romantic sexual way, you feel sexual desire for them, regardless if you're a man, woman, heterosexual, gay, or whatever. As I said, I'm discounting medical conditions like vaginismus. If you have 0 desire for them, then how can you say you love them in a sexual romantic way, and not just in a platonic way? If I had a wife, and I genuinely loved her in that way, I would do it for her even if I wasn't feeling horny it at all. It's like any physical labour you do for someone, you do it because they mean a lot to you. To be like, "I'm never having sex with you again ever" to me is equivalent to saying "I don't care about your physical wants and needs at all", and is basically antithetical to loving someone.

, or having a partner who cheats on her.

If she has no sexual attraction or desire towards him at all, why would she care if he cheats on her? If she's someone that has absolutely 0 sexual desire towards her husband at all, it shouldn't bother if he has random meaningless sex with someone else just to get it out of his system.

Divorce is shit. I've seen people after divorce, it's a living nightmare for everyone, especially the children. The idea for me of having have joint custody of children is the worst nightmare imaginable, I wouldn't divorce even if I was cheated on, unless the kids were above 18 and joint custody wouldn't be a factor.

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[–]dbz191 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

For the sole promise of pussy?

Yes, sex is a large factor in people deciding to entire relationships or marriages. People want sex. That's normal. Stop trying to portray it as something weird or abhorrent. Every healthy human being has sexual desire.

This is exactly what my original point was complaining about. People have needs and wants in relationships that are not being fulfilled because their partner does not care enough about them, and you portray it as them seeing relationships as "transactional" as if that instantly invalidates their legitimate wants and desires in a relationship.

"Timmy, I had to miss your game to fuck my secretary! Your mom won't fuck me! I refuse to be a good father until your mom fucks me! That was the deal!"

So if the marriage falls apart because the wife doesn't want to have sex with the husband at all and they get a divorce and then the dad can only see his kids on weekends, you think the wife/mother bears no responsibility or blame for what happened? I'd say she bears literally all the blame.

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[–]Mark_Freedsuffering from acute oneitis | former nice guy | recovering simp 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Why do you think hers is "perfect"?

I mean I saw it recently and I thought it was perfect. I was an intuitive judgment you know, system 1. I guess plastic surgeons who study the shaping of pussies can explain the objective measures and ratios involved in crafting a pussy in case of reconstruction surgery or male to female transition.

If I had to explain - lack of hair/well trimmed helps, symmetric nature of the pussy, pink color, this is like the ideal amount of labia, too little is fine but then it looks like a slit and it does not have character you know - like it does not seem worthy of the hype, it needs to have some features, something distinctive about it.

Now sure it is a bit too perfect, maybe if I was the skeptical kind I would not be able to enjoy such a pussy. But if there is one thing I am proud of - it is my ability to suspend my disbelief, it is of great help when I read fiction. So I never really considered the fake angle. I am glad you said that because it makes it more palatable. But my opinion remains unchanged, no uncanny valley effect for me.

Too much labia and well, I don't want to be rude because I honestly do not want anyone to feel ashamed or inadequate about any body part they have. But the fact is, IMO most pussies are not pretty. Aesthetically it looks ugly. Now this is a subjective thing and I am sure many guys think outies are the best, but I was always surprised to hear this same perspective repeated among my friends. I mean I feel a strong desire to suck on tits, maybe I like to grab the thighs and butt. But evolutionarily, no matter how the pussy looks, I as a straight male should fine it attractive right? right? haha but anyway too much labia is usually bad.

There are guys who like innies, most guys have a sweet spot between inners and outies, and only a few like significant labia ime.

My experience with watching lots of porn, exploring fleshlights, has given me significant data on how pussies look. Hmm maybe because of all my fleshlight use, I am biased here and I like this sort of a "perfect" pussy.

I mean honestly, I was exaggerating in my comment on that photo and I am really not a pussy guy. I love boobs and even then these body parts are never that awesome in a disembodied sense you know, the context matters - the girl, emotions, memories, her reaction to stimulation, etc. That is what really creates pleasure.

[–]CimZim35F Autistic Egalitarian 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

That's really interesting, how some men don't find pussy attractive, and some (okay, a bunch) of women don't find dicks attractive. Whereas I don't think I've ever seen a dick or pussy that wasn't attractive imo...but they're attractive like how the rest of someone's body parts can be attractive. Like a cute smile, friendly eyes, nice tits/chest, pleasantly plump belly, thicc thighs/ass, handsome or pretty face. A penis or vulva can be nice looking in the same way.

I mean honestly, I was exaggerating in my comment on that photo and I am really not a pussy guy. I love boobs and even then these body parts are never that awesome in a disembodied sense you know, the context matters - the girl, emotions, memories, her reaction to stimulation, etc. That is what really creates pleasure.

I agree, except for both sexes lol.

[–]Mark_Freedsuffering from acute oneitis | former nice guy | recovering simp 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

how some men don't find pussy attractive

I mean, for sure it is attractive. I just can't compare it to breasts or her skin, lips and other stuff. Like so many guys are boob men, I think there should be some large scale studies to find out how many men are so passionate about vaginas. I think there is something interesting here, why the genitals are not the primary source of attraction.

Whereas I don't think I've ever seen a dick or pussy that wasn't attractive imo

That is interesting. I used to think people say that to be polite. You know "everyone is beautiful in their own way", knowing you are a straight shooter I guess I am surprised and happy. It would be great if more people could think like you. For me, if I crush on a girl I am sure all her parts are 10/10. But most of the time I am quite objective about beauty standards. There is a lot of different ways a smile can be beautiful, I can see beauty in crooked teeth too, I don't really think my beauty standards are that narrow. In the same way there are many pretty vulvas but as you go up the hierarchy the pyramid gets narrower and only a few teeth and smiles are "perfect".

I agree, except for both sexes lol.

of course, more for women towards men from what I hear. I just wrote it from my perspective.

[–]CimZim35F Autistic Egalitarian 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I think there should be some large scale studies to find out how many men are so passionate about vaginas. I think there is something interesting here, why the genitals are not the primary source of attraction.

I think there was a study about that. If I find it, I'll post it.

That is interesting. I used to think people say that to be polite.

Lol I never say things to be polite. I'll say true things in a gentle way if it seems like it would be hurtful, but that's it.

For me, if I crush on a girl I am sure all her parts are 10/10.

It's still okay if you don't. Like I know I'm not a 10/10, and my FWB is also not a 10/10. It's alright to acknowledge reality, since honeyed words just sound like meaningless flattery. That's how I see it at least, others may have different ideas.

There is a lot of different ways a smile can be beautiful, I can see beauty in crooked teeth too, I don't really think my beauty standards are that narrow. In the same way there are many pretty vulvas but as you go up the hierarchy the pyramid gets narrower and only a few teeth and smiles are "perfect".

Yeah, makes sense.

of course, more for women towards men from what I hear.

Actually, I'm bi but I tend to go for men more often. A big part of that is not having many hobbies in common with other women in my area, and also not being good at communicating with women as much.

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That's great to know.

I’ve been vegetarian since I was 13, but one of my cousins has been on a strong vegan kick and keeps sending me emails about how "most milk has blood in it" and "calves aren't allowed to drink any milk" and "eggs are unethical" etc etc. So I actually drove around my area to find a dairy farm that sells pasteurized milk/cheese/eggs but also let's you meet the cows and chickens, plus cares for them well. It means I'm paying 2x more than what the grocery charges, but since it's going to making sure the animals are treated and fed well, I figure this is a good compromise.

What do you think about this topic? I don't want to support factory farms, but I also don't want to give up my only two natural sources of B12. So buying from local farms seems like the solution, right?

[–]Willow-girlQuack addict 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Buying from a farmer you know and whose animals you have personally inspected is always best, but "big farm" doesn't necessarily mean "bad farm." Big farms often have state-of-the-art everything ... the cows may be more comfortable than ones on a small farm who are jammed into stalls that were constructed 50 years ago when cows were much smaller than they are now. I know people like to vilify "factory farms" but when I was a herd tester, honestly the cows in the biggest herds I tested generally fared better than the ones on the smallest farms, which were usually struggling and constantly cutting corners to save money. The cow on the mega-dairy that has a vet on staff is probably going to get prompter healthcare if needed than the one at the small farm that is on the brink of insolvency, where the farmer might decide to butcher her or put her on the truck (to the sale barn) rather than addressing her problem.

Also, JMO but I don't like organic dairying AT ALL. The same farmer who probably wouldn't hesitate to take an antibiotic prescribed by his doctor would deny the same therapy to his cows, why? ... so he can sell his milk at a higher price because it's marketed as "ORGANIC." SMH. There are no antibiotics in milk sold in stores ... that is something that we are very, very careful about, because if you contaminate a tank of milk with antibiotics, you're going to be liable for the cost of that whole tankerload of milk when it's checked at the processing plant and has to be dumped because of violative residues. That's a $10,000 mistake that no one makes if they can possible help it. I've actually had nightmares about accidentally putting a treated cow in the tank, lol.

IMO, there are times a cow needs antibiotics (infections are painful) and it's unethical to deny care in the name of some bullshit milk marketing strategy. Just give the cow what she needs; dump the milk until the antibiotics are out of her system and then resume business as usual.

(Ducking and covering because here come the downvotes, probably. LOL)

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The motorcyclist should of informed the police and let them handle it. I don't know what its like in the USA but over here in the UK, we generally let the police handle those matters instead of going vigilante.

In regards to her coming out with a gun however. Sure I can kind of see self defence. If you are being followed by an armed motorcyclist, yeah I would act in self defence. Plus the fact she was pregnant. She was probably in fear for her life. So she responded accordingly.

However, motorcyclists also have a right to self defence. So whilst he shouldn't of been following her,. He has a right to defend himself, especially if a person pulls out a gun.

This is one for the courts. She shouldn't of fled the scene. However he shouldn't of followed her. But she shouldn't of pulled out a gun if she wasn't intending on using it.

[–]purplish_possum 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

The motorcyclist should of informed the police and let them handle it. I don't know what its like in the USA but over here in the UK, we generally let the police handle those matters instead of going vigilante.

Here's the article. He and other witnesses were calling the police. They followed her so they could get her information.

In regards to her coming out with a gun however. Sure I can kind of see self defence. If you are being followed by an armed motorcyclist, yeah I would act in self defence. Plus the fact she was pregnant. She was probably in fear for her life. So she responded accordingly.

The police confirmed there was a minor crash, she did a hit and run. There's no way a person doesn't know they hit something, especially if the damage is obvious. If anything, she's trying to be a vigilante because they're on the road, public property, and she decided to come out her house with a gun. She knows why they were there.

However he shouldn't of followed her.

Most likely, they were trying to get her information. That's why he and witnesses were on the road calling the police.

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Here's the article. He and other witnesses were calling the police. They followed her so they could get her information.

What information? I don't know how it works in the States. But in the UK, you get a VRN and that is enough. The owner of the vehicle can then be traced. There is also a 24 hour period to report yourself to the police following an incident.

The police confirmed there was a minor crash, she did a hit and run. There's no way a person doesn't know they hit something, especially if the damage is obvious. If anything, she's trying to be a vigilante because they're on the road, public property, and she decided to come out her house with a gun. She knows why they were there.

Yes she knows "why" they are there. She hit a big biker guy, who has turned up with a mob, several of which are armed.

Only problem with escsalation of force, is it cannot be de-escalated. Also due to Inherit Right To Self Defence. They all acted within their rights. If a mob turned up at my door led by a biker, I would not know if they wanted vigilante justice or to just "chat". So I can see her viewpoint.

Like I said earlier, in the UK. We would hand the details over to the police and let them deal with it. Not form mobs and chase people down, unless we were not going to use the police.

[–]LillthOfBabylon 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What information?

License plate. Now this is where poppyblu makes a great point about our system being flawed. The police are likely to react to the situation if you found the person rather than just let them get away and giving the police the vague information. If the police are feeling lazy, they won't bother because they feel they have better things to do.

Also, we're unsure whether or not she stopped long enough for them to properly keep their distance from her. If she was trying her hardest to speed to her house, they'd have to wait for her to stop.

She hit a big biker guy, who has turned up with a mob, several of which are armed.

More than enough reason for her to stay in her house and call the police, instead of trying to be a badass. One lady with a gun vs a whole "biker gang"with guns would have an obvious outcome.

And if she was totally scared of big biker gang with gun, she could have drove herself to another place like a police station while calling the cops on the guy.

They all acted within their rights.

That's for a jury to decide if he's charged. Unless they state otherwise, roads are public property. They didn't pull out a gun until she came out her house with a gun.

If a mob turned up at my door

NOT at her door.

ON THE ROAD, getting information and calling the police for a hit and run.

Not form mobs and chase people down, unless we were not going to use the police.

Even the police department confirmed that the "mob" called 911.

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Logic here. If neither of them had been allowed to own guns as in the case of most developed nations she’d be alive right now. What she did was morally and criminally wrong but it doesn’t mean it’s ok for him to take the law into his own hands, act as judge and jury, and decide for himself that what she did deserved an immediate death sentence.

That’s the issue here. That is why we have a formal criminal justice system, so that we’re not leaving the policing and punishment of crime to a bunch of vigilantes. And sure that justice system is far from perfect and needs significant changes, but let’s focus on making those who run that system accountable for change rather than arm the public to act on their own.

I’m not anti guns. But the fact is that these vigilante killings that have become common place in America would not be happening if guns were not so readily available.

[–]LillthOfBabylon 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Here's the link to the story. Forgot to give that out.

Now, if he was approaching her house, I would definitely call this vigilante justice on the guy's part. Thing is, he's on the road, public property, getting her license plate and calling the police along with other witnesses. Police confirmed it was a minor crash, so the woman know she did hit and run.

From the information presented, she was the one acting like a vigilante. They didn't step foot in her property, and she was in the house. (If the information is correct), she knows why they're there. She came out the house to threaten them with her gun. She could have waited for them to approach the house and then pull the gun out for self-defesne. Also, she herself could have been hiding in the house calling the police to deal with these nosy people.

Even if she didn't have a gun, she could have brought up a knife and cut someone's artery.

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[–]Creation_SoulPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]LillthOfBabylon 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Why are "Birthdays" , "Anniversary" , "Wedding Day" and all the kind of days are so important to women, I have seen few posts of women curbing about how their SO didn't do anything for them to celebrate

.......................................Really?

Birthday - Celebrating that the person is alive.

Anniversary - Celebrating when you became official.

Wedding Day - Celebrating when you officially become a married couple.

I don't find anything wrong with just bringing a takeout and eating together in warm comfy blanket

If that's agreed upon, fine. But these days are suppose to be special. To show that you care. To show that you're happy they're in your life.

Just bringing a takeout and eating together in warm comfy blanket is not a special occasion unless the couple have an extremely busy schedule.

[–][deleted] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]LillthOfBabylon 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]LillthOfBabylon 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted]4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I guess there are a few different reasons:

Some people (stereotypically more women than men) tend to be very sentimental. They think that these days are special and they want to treat them this way.
If their partners enjoy thoughtful gifts and planned celebrations, but don't do the same, it feels one-sided.
It can make them feel as if their partners don't care not just about these days, but about them as well. Especially if they'd communicated how important they find these types of events.
Their partners overall struggle to meet their needs, so this is just one of the straws that they consider as a lack of care/love.

Also a lot of people do enjoy fancy dates and gifts. There's nothing wrong in getting a take out and enjoying it at home, but it isn't really...celebratory, I guess? You can do it anytime.

[–]kittenated 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ashpr0ulx2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CimZim35F Autistic Egalitarian 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It probably has more to do with how one views celebrations. If you're the type who likes anniversaries, holidays, and annual get togethers then all of those are going to be important to you. Maybe they're just things you look forward to.

Then you have women like me who need to work up the mental energy to give a damn, and usually don't unless it's something our partners are excited about. For example, holidays and my birthday do nothing for me...it's just another trip around the sun, not all that special imo. But my FWB loves Christmas, like absolutely favorite holiday and he wears his ridiculous Christmas ties and sweaters and voluntarily puts Christmas music on in his car. So I celebrate with him, we watch his favorite Christmas movies and I make myself more outwardly excited than I am, plus buy him something special. Like last year I got him a Mandalorian coin because he's really into the franchise and this way it'll retain or gain value. Making other people happy is the only thing worthwhile on birthdays and holidays imo.

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[–]CimZim35F Autistic Egalitarian 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]CFinCanada7 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Do-it-for-youPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Do-it-for-youPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Do-it-for-youPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Creation_Soul1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Daily Community Chat Megathread

Comments

I'm sorry. All the best on your quest for "The One". lol

She did the right thing. 100%.

Prevention

Medicines

Title	Daily Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	11
Comments	885
Date	November 24, 2021 11:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/r1hmrk/daily_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/daily-community-chat-megathread.1086701 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086701