People need to accept men generally do less parenting than women.

MyLastBestChance · 2025-08-02T22:03:01+00:00

People have accepted it. That’s one ingredient in the falling birth rates 🤷‍♀️.

MoreSanitizerPls · 2025-08-02T22:28:19+00:00

I think women already widely accept this. I grew up with both parents working but my mom did all the cooking, the vast majority of the cleaning, she was the keeper of bill paying, main errand runner and grocery shopper. She took us to the doctor and dentist was in charge of all the school stuff. She cut the grass half the time in the spring and summer. But it’s okay because my dad changed the oil and the tires and fixed a leaky sink every once in a while lol.

Even couples that go into marriage with the intention of going 50/50 the brunt of the work almost always ends up falling back to the woman.

cutegolpnik · 2025-08-03T02:00:55+00:00

This is why women don’t like financially 50/50 men

Superb-Foundations · 2025-08-02T23:56:26+00:00

Ask anyone who works in a school. It is actually sad that men never know their children's teachers names or their friends names, yet their mom's who also work full time ALWAYS do.

Illustrious-Day-6168 · 2025-08-03T06:52:43+00:00

Men want children like kids want puppies.

DapperDan1929 · 2025-08-02T22:00:56+00:00

We do? Lol

Alternative-Dream-61 · 2025-08-02T21:45:31+00:00

I know you like to troll, but come on. Men didn't take care of the kids because in the past, homes existed on a single income with the Dad providing and the Mom taking care of the kids. Now, women are regularly working and contributing financially, so it makes sense for the parenting to shift to a more equitable situation.

I'm a Dad. I'm 50/50 with my ex. Im involved and connected with my kids. That won't change.

mrcs84usn · 2025-08-03T08:10:02+00:00

The more educated the couple, the more that the household duties are split, even if it’s not a full 50/50

Guilty-Marzipan1058 · 2025-08-03T01:52:07+00:00

Isn’t this the main reason women are pickier than men?

Morgoth_Worshipper · 2025-08-02T22:03:13+00:00

Yup and if they do any parenting at all, they usually really suck at it.

statsfodder · 2025-08-03T05:09:20+00:00

When the SAH Ex complained about 50/50 parenting and housework, her math always started AFTER i worked my 40hrs at the job that paid for everything and after the 20hr side gig I did to make sure she and the kids wanted for nothing. Everytime the conversation came up i would offer that I would be the stay home parent and she could work, she never took me up on it.

I would have loved to have been more present but HER material requirements meant I had to work like I did and even with her complaints of me not being around enough and always working, any suggestion to cut back on HER spending was always met with a staunch no! ..

Maybe there are decent dudes and shitty women out there.. enough that these "generally men are shit" posts of yours don't track 😉

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-08-03T08:31:01+00:00

No, we don’t have to. We can divorce them or not have kids with them

The women I know who divorced say that they finally have more free time and less managing

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-08-03T01:26:48+00:00

Few things:

12 year old study.
based off of self reports. Warren Farrell’s Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say goes into great detail about women’s over-reporting of their contributions and men’s underreporting of theirs.
most importantly, men and women are different and serve different purposes. Mothers are more valuable when the children are young, fathers are more when the kids are a bit older. It is what it is. Biology is a bitch.

Edit: another important factor is that families were far more intact and worked as networks to help out. That’s largely gone thanks to “muh empowerment” and us having to pretend single parent homes are A okay. It has second, third, and further order effects.

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Thispendoesntwork · 2025-08-02T23:28:09+00:00

Women also do more chores than men, even though they are bringing in half the family income.

Recent Pew Research Center and Gallup polls found despite earning as much as their male partners, heterosexual women were still spending roughly double the time on household chores and childcare than their male partners.

81% of women have full-time jobs. Which means that fewer than 19% of families have a single breadwinner.

So what about the chore distribution with the breadwinner dynamic? The average male breadwinner does about 15 minutes of chores per day. The average female breadwinner does about 45 minutes of chores per day.

In every metric, men screw over women at every turn by delegating all the unpaid grunt to the women. Men shirk their responsibilities when women bring home half the income and they still shirk their responsibilities even when the women are the breadwinners in their families.

Is it any wonder why the birth rates are plummeting in every Western countries and women are choosing to stay single? What sane woman would knowingly agree to this? To go to work at your own stressful job, bring home half the family income, to be greeted with a dirty house and a husband who asks you what's for dinner?

-Kalos · 2025-08-03T12:27:34+00:00

In western society for sure. But my father spent more time teaching us than our mother did, whether it was sports or working on the vehicles or going out hunting/fishing/camping, cooking and family outdoor time. Unfortunately those skills are mostly useless if you live in the city so a dad's utility is limited. Those fathers need to pick up mama's slack if they aren't doing these activities with their kid

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-08-02T22:01:57+00:00

As long as people accept that men generally do more of the providing for part of parenting, then ok.

OmoshiroiKudamono · 2025-08-03T01:06:24+00:00

The chart STILL shows that the grand percent is still even. Sure, the man does less "parenting," whatever that is defined as. But he still does enough chores and work to make up for it. The man would like to parent more. But his rent is due.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-08-03T04:32:44+00:00

Here is a wild idea, maybe we didn't evolve for this anymore than women evolved for hard labor which might be the reason we don't see many male daycare workers or many female roofers.

Crazy idea, I know.

Normal_Red_Sky · 2025-08-03T08:04:23+00:00

If men had more than one hot minute of paternity leave it might help. Men having equal paternity leave would mean they can support the mother better and have more time to bond with their kids.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-08-03T07:19:22+00:00

Not always, my husband absolutely does his share of parenting our child and does 100% of parenting of his 2 sons as they live with us not their mum at all

sublimemongrel · 2025-08-03T00:52:08+00:00

Um no the fuck are you on about. I will never accept that. Mother of two btw.

SeemedGood · 2025-08-03T00:34:40+00:00

How about “a very different type” of parenting?

The statistics documenting the differences in children that grow up without fathers are stark enough to make clear that it’s not about the “amount of parenting” and more about the type of parenting.

StoicKoal · 2025-08-03T02:06:55+00:00

I believe the issue is people believe that men and women are the same. And because a man cannot parent the same as a woman, then he is less of a parent. However both parents play a critical role in the child’s development.

A woman’s emotional nature allows for a more direct approach to parenting such as nurturing and caregiving, providing direct emotional support, nurturing, and hands-on care. Communication, discussing feelings, thoughts, and daily experience. Active involvement in daily activities, such as helping with homework, attending school events, and managing routines.

A man’s rational nature allows for a more indirect approach to parenting such as role modelling behaviors and values rather than explicitly teaching them. Children learn through observation. Encouragement of Independence to explore and solve problems on their own, fostering independence and resilience. Playful Interaction that may be less structured, allowing children to learn through exploration and creativity.

marchingrunjump · 2025-08-03T08:56:58+00:00

People saying “men just parent less” are usually looking at early childhood—diapers, feeding, bedtime routines. And sure, if that’s your whole definition of parenting, it’ll look like dads matter less. Not that men shouldn’t participate.

But here’s the thing: human development doesn’t stop at age 3. In fact, most of what makes us functioning adults—impulse control, long-term thinking, emotional regulation—develops much later.

Evolution made our brains huge, so babies had to be born early. Which means: we finish wiring our brains after birth, over decades. And the latest, most fragile layers? That’s where fatherhood seems to kick in hardest. People scratch their heads about why not having a dad seems to matter so much. Well it’s the high level stuff.

So yeah, dads aren’t “moms 2.0”. They’re a different stabilising force. A different kind of anchor. If we erase that role—or replace it with a forced 50/50 symmetry from birth—we’re not modernising. We’re flattening something that was designed to be complementary.

The kids pay the price. Then society does.

But hey, let’s keep pretending it’s just about paying child support.

meisterkraus · 2025-08-03T10:43:30+00:00

So according to your study both parties are putting in about the same total effort just differently divided. And that has not changed. So if you agree women are not putting in more total effort, I could agree women do more of the parenting effort without having to go through the details.

Shadowcat1606 · 2025-08-03T15:50:08+00:00

I'm pretty sure that more men would like to have a more active role in caretaking/parenting if they weren't treated like shit for it.

And just generally speaking, while still not 50/50 on average, the balance did shift more towards male involvmeent and the middle ground in recent decades, because most families nowadays no longer have to get by on a single salary. Because that's what it was in the "good ol' days". It wasn't just that men did not WANT to take care of their children, it's literally that they could not. They were the ones out working and providing. That's what was expected of them.

And for the women who complain that their guy isn't as involved in parenting... well, should have chosen better.

Youcbah · 2025-08-03T18:23:24+00:00

This is undeniably true women are like the main primary parents and they care more me personally I haven’t seen my mom take on all the house hold chores by herself but I know people with that dynamic where the woman would keep up with everything

il_nascosto · 2025-08-03T23:00:24+00:00

Not only that, women don’t normally like the way men parent and insist on doing everything “their way” anyway. It’s a no win situation

Low_Rich_5436 · 2025-08-04T07:44:11+00:00

Men have historically been trapped into the provider role, so it means they must not care about their kids. It is thus entirely fair that the justice system kidnaps their kids and they should stop complaining.

Are you sure this is a position you want to have?

mybrownsweater · 2025-08-04T19:02:06+00:00

I do accept this. My husband is way more involved than my own father was, so I'm happy.

Podlubnyi · 2025-08-05T11:49:40+00:00

Im not just talking about fatherlessness.

Considering the children (especially sons) of single mothers do worse by just about every metric, fathers evidently do more than you think.

Check the metrics for children of single fathers by way of comparison, and those dudes rarely get any child support from the deadbeat mother.

UnfurtletDawn · 2025-08-02T22:20:14+00:00

From stats it seems the "used for resources" and "babysitting" works well enough.

So well that if the kid is raised by a single father statistically it's the same outcome as if it's in a shared household.

Remarkable-Rate-9688 · 2025-08-03T08:12:53+00:00

Liar https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-myth-of-the-lazy-father

lilpupcakes34 · 2025-08-03T18:57:57+00:00

Yeah that's why that birth rate gonna keep going down. Men really need to start evolving to present times.

DividePleasant6838 · 2025-11-03T10:50:49+00:00

The majority of women don’t want to choose men who are big on fatherhood as their partners. You can’t fully blame this issue on men.

If a man said that “people need to accept that women generally earn less money for their families”, how would you feel? It’s not factually wrong, but part of the reasons for these are less men wanting career women as partners, and also societal issues preventing women from earning more.

TinyDig5777 · 2025-12-16T21:57:13+00:00

Fudge… I didn’t get the memo. I’ve been parenting all this time…

mrsmariekje · 2025-08-03T07:33:38+00:00

Yes, many men (but not all) are too single minded and self centered to be effective parents by themselves. But women do not have to accept them doing less parenting, because there are definitely ways that you can make your partner take 50% role in parenting.

1) Never ever earn less than a man, because chances are he will hold it against you and justify doing less because of it. 2) If possible, he needs to take at least a month of paternity leave as having mum take over all baby care 100% from day one sends a message that he can just kick back and let her handle it herself 3) Try to bottle feed or combination feed as, once again, this gets him used to having to think about the baby himself instead of relying on you 4) Do NOT baby him (remind him that the baby needs feeding, tell him how to change a nappy, teach him how to sterilise equipment) unless the baby's life is legitimately in danger. He must learn to do these things himself, just like you did as the mother 5) Make it clear that, if you feel that he is not holding up his end of the bargain, you will leave and take everything you're entitled to

OtPayOkerSmay · 2025-08-02T22:19:03+00:00

I think people forget how men play a much more important role as the kids get older. Children are naturally bonded to the mother in early ages, and that overshadows the role of father setting boundaries and being a disciplinarian as the kids reach puberty and start getting out of hand. IDK.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-08-03T07:46:11+00:00

If it takes me to do the job in half the time compared to a woman, it doesn't mean I've done a worse job.

Also, according to NIH kids of single fathers are 5 times less likely to be young criminals or whores, compared to kids of single mothers.

Something for you to ponder on.

Intrepid_University6 · 2025-08-03T00:26:59+00:00

It’s because women want to do a bunch of dumb shit and men don’t want to start an argument. So they let the women do things their way to keep the peace.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2025-08-03T02:23:53+00:00

show me data that differentiates liberal and conservative households regarding upbringing of children and chores... till that/then there is no real debate about this topic and statistical parity as it is obvious that conservatives consent to a certain lifestyle... specially since the industrial revolution but it was a different story before that in human history...

here is a controversal take about parenthood... if women do not abort while knowing the man does not want to be father and is not able to provide a decent life for the child alone or with another man or woman she should lose custody because of repeated irresponsible behavior... men who lie about their intentions or bail after they consented should still pay child support and so on...

lawyer about divorce...

traditional woman about historic oppression...

abaxeron · 2025-08-03T05:29:12+00:00

"When seven years were passed and the time had come to take the child from the women, Rohalt put Tristan under a good master, the Squire Gorvenal, and Gorvenal taught him in a few years the arts that go with barony."

The Romance of Tristan & Iseult Drawn from the best French Sources and Retold by J. Bédier Rendered into English by H. Belloc.

Joseph Bédier was a medievalist historian, by the way.

For the most of human history, women only looked after children who were either very young, or female. Tender Years Doctrine, extending women's monopoly over children, is late 19th century. Yesterday, by historical standards.

Title	People need to accept men generally do less parenting than women.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	36
Comments	363
Date	August 2, 2025 9:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1mg2011/people_need_to_accept_men_generally_do_less/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/people-need-to-accept-men-generally-do-less.1558744 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558744

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