Solo travel is a completely different experience for average men and women

Barneysparky · 2026-06-01T17:43:41+00:00

Saw the title, thought it was a woman.

OP. There are places in the world where solo female travel is almost impossible. Women stay together for safety.

I lived in a surf town, dozens of hostels.

It was pretty much 50/50 in hostels. Your choice to go rent a solo room.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-06-01T18:48:15+00:00

If he’s avoiding the social areas then it’s kinda his own fault

SarcasticLoss · 2026-06-01T19:08:33+00:00

You have never been to a hostel but you made a whole ass post about male and female experiences in hostels... 🤦🤦🤦

ItIsnt0verYet · 2026-06-01T17:44:32+00:00

I love how men on this sub will speak from the perspective of women. Very funny, 10/10.

My husband and I have traveled all over the world. He makes friends easier than I do. This sounds like a you problem honestly

ThatBitchA · 2026-06-01T18:50:25+00:00

Y'all act like experts on women and it's the silliest thing.

Not all women who travel solo stay in hostels. Or make friends. Or hookup.

Y'all fan fiction and fantasies isn't real life. It's just stories you've made up about what you think happens.

If you're traveling just to hook up, that's kinda lame.

Acrobatic-Monk9735 · 2026-06-01T18:50:35+00:00

Men always assume women who solo travel are fucking their way around the world. Men would have sex with random women around the world if they could, and they assume women will because women can. Most women aren’t into that shit.

Dependent-Tailor7366 · 2026-06-01T23:20:58+00:00

Women don’t travel to hook up. And why go to a hostel when we can go to a hotel and not put up with strangers? Women tend to travel with friends for safety.

Serahill · 2026-06-01T17:49:49+00:00

I will be honest, this is a funny perspective to read. I'm a woman and a solo traveler with a lot of solo traveler friends. The biggest difference I have noticed between us women and the guys, is that the guys don't have to worry about safety as much as we do. Often I get told that "X was a beautiful country, you should visit too", and then lookup to find out women are treated worse there and the average female solo traveler does not recommend others to solo travel there.

Once I ignored that advice and went anyways, it was not a fun trip

Gravel_Roads · 2026-06-01T17:45:12+00:00

Bro, I traveled as a single man all throughout my 20’s, and while I believe YOU might be having that experience (which sucks), that is not the only experience single men have.

I made friends wherever I went. You go out together and share food and stories and smoke some weed and have a few drinks in the evening.

You’re making yourself angry imagining non-existent women enjoying a better trip from your own.

Like…. Why do you assume ALL these traveling women are hooking up with “well above average men”?

KoninginVanRotterdam · 2026-06-01T17:43:27+00:00

They are very different experiences indeed.

Traveling alone as a woman is dangerous to extremely dangerous.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-06-01T17:37:25+00:00

Why do you think this is and what do you think could be done to change this?

-mixedsignals · 2026-06-01T17:42:38+00:00

This is a "grass is greener on the other side"

I've solo travelled a lot as a woman, I was an active user in the solo travel sub, I have met tons of other solo travelers and my best friend travelled for a year or more and she told me all her experiences.

Women's experience is not like you describe them. Not at all. Women as a gender don't have any advantage. Extroverted people do have a huge advantage though.

Also sometimes you don't click with the people in the hostel, either because of differences in cultures or maybe the people there aren't sociable or you are having a bad day, who knows.

There's guys who want to pick up women and sometimes that's annoying and scary for women. That's something men don't have to deal with. Sleeping in a room with a bunch of men can be scary. I've seen guys come to the room drunk and touch women, try to sleep in the same bed with them, or just act weird. Some guys masturbate.

I've spent a lot of time completely alone because I didn't click with the people at the hostel. This is normal in solo travel. All the people I've talked to also spend a lot of time alone.

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-06-01T17:37:01+00:00

This just sounds like men suck making friends which is their own fault. Why aren’t men taking accountability for their poor social skills? My husband has never struggled to make new friends (even when he was single) so this sounds like an individual problem instead of something men face as a whole.

theminxisback · 2026-06-01T17:37:56+00:00

I mean, this goes to show how disconnected men are from themselves and each other. This is a prime example of what happens when half of the species lacks basic fundamentals for connection. As in, emotional intelligence...

ChimkinThiggs · 2026-06-01T18:28:31+00:00

I'm proud of the way that women take each other under their wings, and help each other feel safe comfortable and supported even as strangers.

I can understand feeling left out in the cold, not having access to that dynamic.

Please understand that the root of this dynamic is specifically because women are by default are more vulnerable and this drive to look out for each other is as close to instinct as can be. It's not personal and including someone isn't necessarily an insult or judgement of you

ConTrikster · 2026-06-01T21:41:44+00:00

Don’t go to social areas if you aren’t gonna be social

Don’t give me that bs about how he’ll be humiliated or rejected anyway. If you can’t have anything stick at all socially, then that’s your fault.

Learn to develop better social skills to have meaningful relationships and friendships

Ashamed_Artichoke_26 · 2026-06-01T21:57:04+00:00

Also, this doesn't align with my experience at all. Sure women get more attention and find it easier. But it is also easy enough as a guy to meet people and hang out with them.

mandoa_sky · 2026-06-01T17:46:03+00:00

women have been taught from a young age that there's safety in numbers - so women are more likely to gravitate towards making friends with other women especially in new environments.

not sure how men are taught though. i have a male buddy that loves to go on one person biking holidays in japan. so maybe the country you're in makes a difference too?

Financial_Leave4411 · 2026-06-01T17:53:09+00:00

Men stay in hostels all the time as it saves money and allows them to have more experiences/travel more. Men can also make friends and have a good time while traveling solo so long as they aren’t laser focused on getting laid. It’s only when men act like a sex crazed entitled creep that people feel uncomfortable and don’t want to engage with them. Some men seem to believe that simply crossing the boarder into another country magically makes them appear as sex objects that women want to lust after as if women outside their country of birth magically have the sex drive and desire of a man. Women are very similar to one another regardless of what country you’re in so if you’re only traveling for sex you’re better off paying a prostitute.

love_in_october · 2026-06-01T18:12:00+00:00

Hooking up with random foreign men?! Do you think women are generally insane?!

The differences with the female solo travel experience tend to be looking out for safety a lot more. They tend to form groups and not go to random men's houses.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-06-01T18:33:43+00:00

So what is this based off of? A scenario you made up in your head based off of your envy of women?

I don’t have much solo travel experience but I have never had the experience you said all women have.

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-06-01T18:39:07+00:00

another post about what a bubbly, candy-coated world women must be living in on this sub. 👀

"having fun and probably hooking up with a well above average local man from a club or dating apps."

women have to be aware of danger. going somewhere and hooking up with a strange man requires a lot more throwing caution to the wind than a traveling man hooking up with a local woman.

TransportationLow564 · 2026-06-01T18:19:41+00:00

I'm sure there'd be plenty of delicious Eastern European women willing to lure him to a hotel and steal his kidney.

Zabadoodude · 2026-06-01T20:15:12+00:00

Why wouldn't a guy stay in a hostel and make friends with some of the other young people there? I did just that when I was solo traveling in Europe in my 20's.

Yes, casual sex is easier for women to find, but that's mostly because women are, on average, not as into it as men are. So the supply and demand is skewed. Men still get laid at hostels, but they have to be a bit more outgoing and less picky.

TopShelfSnipes · 2026-06-01T21:51:09+00:00

Why would the man avoid the hostel? Hostels are fun as shit when you don't have any serious responsibilities in life. You'll meet a bunch of age appropriate peers, can make a bunch of temporary friends (and every once in a while might keep in touch longer term), and the staff always have tons of recommendations for cool things to do that locals actually like. Plus some hostels even serve alcohol, and since everything is 18+ in most countries, you sometimes have built in drinking companions.

Plus if you're truly traveling alone, you can make your own itinerary daily, and if you end up talking to someone, casually drop what you're interested in doing, and if they're also interested in it while you're in a city, you can ask if they'd want to see that place/activity together.

Also, if you happen to go through Zagreb...check out the Museum of Broken Relationships. That one's a banger to check out with a woman by your side. Seriously, lots of fun.

Ashamed_Artichoke_26 · 2026-06-01T21:54:15+00:00

Enjoy the perks you have (not being worried about being raped or sexually harassed) and stop obsessing about the things you don't have (easy access to casual sex). That's life. Make the most of it.

NoShortMen4Me · 2026-06-01T22:17:23+00:00

You were thissss 🤏 close. Maybe next time…

ThorLives · 2026-06-01T23:11:33+00:00

I'm a man. I've traveled extensively. Yes, you have to be proactive about meeting and talking to people - people in your room, people in the kitchen, people hanging out. I've been to plenty of stuff (bars, museums, etc) with other travelers. It's not quite as "single" of an experience as you say it is - although you do have to be proactive about meeting other travelers.

As far as women: I don't know how often they actually hookup with guys, but I will say that men want women more than women want men. That's true regardless of whether you're traveling or not. This means that guys are going out of their way to meet and talk to the women. This means that, if you're interested in a woman in the hostel, you will probably be competing with other guys. And by "other guys", I mean guys who are traveling, guys who work in the hostel and trying to hookup with the female travelers, and guys who are locals. I've seen cases of all three of those categories of guys trying and sometimes succeeding in hooking up with women. Women don't have to do a lot to meet people. And women will bond with other women more readily for a variety of reasons, including to get a sense of safety. (There are psychological experiments that show that people who are scared or worried are much more talkative and active at making friends than people who aren't scared.)

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-01T20:57:00+00:00

A post based on a lie — that you’ve stayed at a hostel — is invalid

I can make up shit too

pico-sooooo · 2026-06-01T17:51:39+00:00

Nah mate this is how it usually goes for me.

Yeeeeeoooo you support (local football club/whatever jersey they are wearing)?!

Instant buddies.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-06-01T17:50:56+00:00

What in the "woe is me" is that? I was in hostels where men instantly got to know watch other and spent evenings drinking beer in common room and having fun. I was in hostels where women were introverted as fuck (and i like it way more than other way around). I think it's more culture that anything. When i was in Spain strangers were open to chat and it's another story in eastern europe.

Throwawaypmme2 · 2026-06-01T20:10:00+00:00

Im a dude and I've made friends in every country in seconds off the place no matter the hour or time of day. Switzerland, France, Australia, New Zealand, Italy, and many other places.

Maybe this is a you problem, because I've always been able to meet people everywhere

b_berry458 · 2026-06-01T21:12:05+00:00

My husband is super social at hostels. I have met lots of super social hostel guys. I am quite wary of strangers so I find it a bit much for me. I don’t think this is as much a gendered thing as you think.

ThrowRAGlobeVase · 2026-06-01T22:37:58+00:00

Dude you're projecting. There are certain experiences you want to have that might be a bit easier for women than you.

Not everyone values those experiences so much, and many might value what you're able to do. Traveling solo as a dude is so much easier in most parts of the world... just from a simple safety standpoint.

TheKindlyPoltergeist · 2026-06-02T03:54:19+00:00

Op tomorrow go get a bed at a hostel. Find some people your own age and go get some food. Strike up a loose friendship with some of the guys and with some of the girls. See what happens if your just nice and social.

Usefulsponge · 2026-06-02T05:11:09+00:00

A woman is much more likely to be sexually harassed

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2026-06-01T17:43:44+00:00

This comes across as a massive generalisation, based on a percentage of men with no social skills.

Most of my flatmates at uni were guys, and a good chunk of them loved solo travelling. They always made friends on their travels (and no, they weren't "Chads", either).

Tylikcat · 2026-06-01T17:45:42+00:00

"A man will most likely avoid the hostel..."

I probably know more men who have done a lot of traveling and staying in hostels - not to mention couch sharing apps, or sleeping on the beach or whatever. Not to mention the men who love going to festivals and such. There are a lot of men who love travel and love meeting people while traveling. And men are more likely to assume they'll be safe when traveling.*

Y'know how we keep going on about social skills? This is about social skills. Sure, women are culturally more required to develop those skills^. But it doesn't mean that men can't develop those skills and learn to make friends.

*Though I felt more safe in Istanbul at 2am - in 1993, mind - than I did on the streets of many American cities at 8. And... I've never been one to avoid going out at night alone, and don't think of myself as feeling unsafe, so that was really weird.
^A girl who doesn't will be under a lot of pressure from the adults and other girls in her life. A boy who doesn't is more likely to be accommodated.

alotofironsinthefire · 2026-06-01T18:37:50+00:00

I wonder why women feel it's better to go out as a group than solo

OffTheRedSand · 2026-06-01T21:08:39+00:00

Women need to get travel besties and walk in groups because of safety bruh 💀

There are literal subreddits dedicated to inform women how to travel alone safely, because it’s DANGEROUS for women to do so.

It’s not on women that men aren’t nice to each other. And it’s men who basically make women form groups and get closer to one another to watch each other’s back.

KayRay1994 · 2026-06-01T17:53:28+00:00

Women rely a lot more on community than men, and men often don’t see value in even maintaining active and various friendships. Men have been told to reflect on that but more often than not, it’s been met with denial and deflection.

Of course, men absolutely should be more open to community with each other, but that takes a long unlearning process. For women, being friend with/close to other women is about safety in numbers - and in particular in Eastern Europe the sex trafficking concern is real.

That being said, I do wanna push against the “probably hooking up with a well above average local man” part because this isn’t as common as men and male influences talking about dating dynamics like to talk about. Of course it can and does happen, but often - especially with solo trips and backpacking - this isn’t as much a priority as dudes make it out to be

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2026-06-01T20:05:40+00:00

he’ll spend the entire trip by himself taking in the sights, if he does go to a club no women will speak to him, no men will either beyond basic conversation. Zero matches on dating apps

This was the exact opposite of my experience. I got more matches and women approaching me in Europe than I ever did in the U.S.A. So much so, that I actually moved to Europe and eventually married a European woman.

Pontokyo · 2026-06-01T18:34:13+00:00

Solo travel is a totally different experience for white men and women than POCs. I've seen even 3/10 white guys make friends just like that and get laid every night and 9/10 black and brown guys get literally zero attention. Same thing with women.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-06-01T19:22:31+00:00

Ew. Stop messaging me 🤮

This is a DEBATE sub.

Axis_Control · 2026-06-02T06:09:51+00:00

Solo traveling genuinely seems awful and dangerous to me. I always go with my ex and their family.

BlackTransMaam2 · 2026-06-01T22:01:54+00:00

This reads like a 40 year old guy who "got burned" staying in a youth hostel and nobody was interested in talking to the creepy guy clearly hitting on the barely legal girls.

ihatesmelly · 2026-06-02T01:51:47+00:00

As a woman who has solo travelled… what???

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2026-06-01T17:49:55+00:00

A thing I’ve noticed with my girlfriend is this female camaraderie you mention is often insincere. I often see women hug each other, and talk like they are life long friends only to bash each other the moment they part ways.

I think projecting the image of having a large social network tends to be more important to women than to men.

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DenverKim · 2026-06-02T14:46:18+00:00

It kind of sounds like you are trying to make it out like men are some kind of neglected victims. But all I hear you actually saying is that men are just assholes who don’t care about anybody else. They don’t want to bother socializing with someone if they’re not going to gain something from it. Why talk to someone if they aren’t going to fuck you or give you money? Meanwhile, women will talk to each other and embrace one another just for the sake of having a community.

Extension-Inside-826 · 2026-06-05T00:59:35+00:00

This is why I refuse to interact with anyone even if someone shows interest in me

Gumabear1488 · 2026-06-01T18:02:13+00:00

It's kind of funny because the stereotype is the complete opposite, lol. Men make friends with each other much faster than women. I can understand when people complain about relationships or picking up women, but if the goal is just to chat and enjoy a trip, you can be a Quasimodo—as long as you know how to talk, having fun with other people is quite easy. Most men aren't antisocial autistics.

tin8374 · 2026-06-26T08:43:58+00:00

Not true at all

I am a 25 year old man. Never had an issue socializing in hostels. Hung out eith many people, believe it or not, most the people I hung out with were women

Title	Solo travel is a completely different experience for average men and women
Author	Infamous_Dish_4348
Upvotes	0
Comments	326
Date	June 1, 2026 5:34 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ttzhjl/solo_travel_is_a_completely_different_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/solo-travel-is-a-completely-different-experience.1581843 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581843

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