Why do men hate sex workers so much?

wtknight · 2023-11-02T11:03:11+00:00

Removed. No discussion posts with non-neutral titles. If you want to express your own views, please create a properly formatted CMV post with the view that you wish to defend in the title of the post.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2023-11-02T06:30:03+00:00

Sex workers and incels both make the mistake of thinking that if someone doesn't want to date you, that means they hate you.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2023-11-02T04:55:08+00:00

If you want to be a sex worker fine by me. Do your thing.

But I won’t date + have a relationship + marry a sex worker or previous sex worker.

No hate, they just aren’t my type 🤷‍♂️

ThorLives · 2023-11-02T06:38:43+00:00

Why do men hate sex workers so much? While they are biggest beneficiaries of the services these women provide?

What's your definition of "hate"? Plenty of guys won't date them, but does that mean they "hate" them?

Women who are sex workers take themselves out of the pool of "datable women". There's already a problem with too many single young men and not enough single young women - as evidenced by the singlehood rates of young men and young women. Even worse if attractive women are removing themselves from the pool of "dateable women" because they are sex workers. There's not enough attractive and datable women, so reducing that number just makes things worse. There's something viscerally gross about the idea of sleeping with a sex worker, which is why they aren't datable.

Sex workers also see things as transactional. I don't think sex workers can actually have a real relationship with anyone.

Its funny because women who rarely use their services are biggest advocates for sex workers.

I don't think that's true at all. Maybe you can point to young single feminists who see it as "empowering" - probably because they want to keep the door open for themselves as a way to make easy money. There's plenty of women who don't respect it. Women who are married or have kids are especially threatened by it, for obvious reasons. The last thing those women need is their husband stepping out to sleep with prostitutes, maybe getting an STD or getting caught, and spend some of the family's money while doing it.

Of course, this touches on a bigger subject of valuing young and single women while devaluing marriage and married women, and the goal of making society cater to the former while ignoring the desires of the latter.

Also, women who advocate for sex workers ONLY advocate for it if they feel like women are getting the better side of the deal. If they think the sex worker is getting a bad deal, then they hate it. In that sense, it's a power-game which is about supporting women taking money away from men.

Their biggest clientele are single men so can you guys imagine how much bigger “male loneliness” aka not having pussy whenever you crave it would be? I don’t get shooting yourself in the foot like that

Paying sex workers isn't solving anything. That's like paying someone to be your friend. It's cheap, temporary, and nothing more than an illusion. If you're paying someone to be your friend, they're not your friend.

Also, this question should be off limits to women because there's too many comments from women who are just using it as a platform to hurl insults at men. And they're not men, so they're just making up stories in their own heads about what men supposedly think.

Also, OP needs to be clear what a "sex worker" is because it's a vague term. Women who post nudes on the internet for money are also technically "sex workers". If you're talking about prostitutes, then say prostitutes. Clearly that's what OP means, since he says "having pussy whenever you crave it". I think the term is kind of dumb because it's an obvious attempt to draw lots of different stuff under one big umbrella term in order to unify people for the goal of legitimizing and destigmatizing prostitution.

Least_Ride1826 · 2023-11-02T04:55:39+00:00

I don't hate sex workers? I wouldn't want to date one, but that doesn't mean I hate them lol. They're just people like everyone else, and should be treated with respect.

Responsible_File_529 · 2023-11-02T08:50:42+00:00

I'll throw my hat in.

I think the disdain or hate comes from the perceived lack of value (sexual market value). The exposure to many different men conveys a dirtiness associated with the job. Although some of the most hygienic, routinely checks for STD, ect professions, there is this idea she is tainted by the people they had been with.

Also, the lack of sexual exclusivity men see in sex workers, mainly women, lowers their perceived sexual value (sexual market value - that standard) because theoretically anyone can access her sexually. The power of perceived exclusivity.

The other associations are: 1) being seen as a slut [(un-ethical slut), although very different,], 2) the stereotype of having significantly more trauma [(incl. daddy issues) although this type of trauma is not exclusive to sex workers] is also attributed to them.

I see similar associations tied to polyamorous women, women who swing, ect.

bifewova234 · 2023-11-02T05:56:46+00:00

Lame that you're blaming men for the hate sex workers get when women generally hold more negative views of prostitution than men do. https://today.yougov.com/politics/articles/14864-prostitution

Maelas84 · 2023-11-02T07:45:38+00:00

Most people dont hate them. They just wont date them...Theres nothing wrong with having that preference.

I will not date anyone who is/was a sex worker in any capacity...

Personally, in my own opinion, sex work is not honorable work and is filled with people who were forced to perform that kind of "work".

Qu3stion_R3ality1750 · 2023-11-02T09:08:25+00:00

I mean, I don't hate sex workers. Indifferent if anything.

I don't have any particular opinion on them. It's baffling to me why it's illegal in some of the Western world, because I think some folks could benefit from it, both the sex workers and the men who consort with them.

Where'd you come to this conclusion that men hate sex workers?

Sadsad0088 · 2023-11-02T09:32:02+00:00

I’ve seen lots of ostracism both from men and women towards sex workers. What do you mean by hate,

sammexp · 2023-11-02T09:34:29+00:00

Having sex with a sex worker is just awful. Like it feels good because you have sex, but bad because you don’t get the emotional intimacy

Mr-Yuk · 2023-11-02T09:36:41+00:00

Do you work in the industry? There is resentment from some people when they are treated just as a wallet but this is not gender specific

Yarndhilawd · 2023-11-02T05:39:52+00:00

I suspect the men who hate sex workers are misogynists in general and there hate towards sex workers is just more pronounced.

Personally speaking as a man I have no hate towards sex workers. I have 2 female friends who are former sex workers but wouldn’t go further than friendship as I just couldn’t see it going well irl but that has nothing to do with there past just more about attachment styles.

Schmurby · 2023-11-02T04:54:37+00:00

Boils down to feelings about sex over all. Lots and lots of people are profoundly uncomfortable with sex.

Seems to me that a lot of men (especially here) hate themselves for being attracted to women who they don’t like and understand and resent women for not giving them what they want, which is sex.

So they end up hating women who have sex, which is essentially almost all women.

Sex workers have the most sex so they hate them the most. Yes, they could just pay them and get what they want but I’m guessing that a lot of the guys here are so freaked out by women at this point that even that would be too much for them.

They would melt in the presence of an actual naked lady.

Safinated · 2023-11-02T04:45:16+00:00

They’ve been used, and are thus not worthy of basic respect.

Because sex is a power struggle where the penetrator wins/is validated/is stronger and the penetrated loses/is dirtied/is weaker; the fact that money diminishes that power is the reason for even more antagonism

This attitude mainly applies to straight relationships but is also a factor in gay relationships, hence the designation of “bottoms” and “tops”

SmallSituation6432 · 2023-11-02T05:31:07+00:00

sex workers are easy to victimize and feel superior about. That's what it really gets down to, being able to feel superior. It is a lot harder nowadays to feel superior than women in general, but sex workers? Easy.

IneffablyEffed · 2023-11-02T06:16:18+00:00

I don't hate sex workers, but I do hate how many women are becoming sex workers.

Why? Because those people should have been viable mates for a generation of men that's already doing poorly, but they have ruined themselves for an often-pitiful amount of short term gain.

Get a real job and have some fucking self respect.

Cool_Relative7359 · 2023-11-02T05:15:47+00:00

Because (some) men hate that they have to pay for something they feel entitled to. And they hate that they're willing to.

WanabeInflatable · 2023-11-02T07:46:59+00:00

Actually, a lot of feminists want to ban prostitution citing protection of sex workers. Such legislation is enacted in many Northern European countries

YouShouldGetLaid · 2023-11-02T09:27:17+00:00

What are you talking about?

Lina-Inverse · 2023-11-02T09:43:40+00:00

Where is the data showing men hate sex workers?

I wouldn't date a sex worker, but why would I hate them?

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-11-02T09:49:14+00:00

I don't hate or use sex workers.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-11-02T09:57:15+00:00

A lot of men who are opposed to prostitution feel that way as part of a belief in a policy of greater overall sexual constraint that will benefit everyone.

Plus, having been privy to much more true female conversation and thinking, as well as much more exposed to how women react to Chad, than men in the past, today's men really want sex with women who find them attractive and are enthusiastic about fucking them. It is harder to believe that duty sex is more than just that. And this is more than just ego validation.

The issue may be that if innate female selectivity turns out to be sufficiently high, then the idea of pairing men at high rates with women who find them attractive and enjoy sex with them may be a Blue Pill fantasy and simply against basic female nature. If this is true, it is possible that prostitution use was an essential social lubricant to slate the sex needs of a large portion of men in the past without unduly bothering too many non professional women. But for that to work, men have to somehow unlearn what they have learned about women and believe the fantasy the prostitute weaves. Or go back to a more ancient and primal mode of male sexuality where men don't really care if she is enjoying it or in to them--but that would be a dangerous mode to reactivate in one's male population en masse.

FirstInFourthPlace · 2023-11-02T05:38:50+00:00

Porn.

Men asked for promiscuous women.

Men got promiscous women.

Men no longer want promiscous women.

We have a whole generation of young girls who were sent unsolicited pics from strangers.

These women now charge the strangers to send them.

That's really all that's changed.

BoopEverySnoot · 2023-11-02T04:49:22+00:00

Because they don't want to have to pay for it.

Smooth_Inevitable_51 · 2023-11-02T08:08:56+00:00

Men hate sex workers?! What?!

You can't just write absurd shit like that like it's a fact.

mrcs84usn · 2023-11-02T06:39:57+00:00

I do think it’s a question of -which- sex workers. Men (and I’m sure plenty of women) aren’t huge fans of the idea that someone who is middling-to-hot can become a millionaire by having sex on camera, especially when consider the fact that sex is something that billions of people have done. It’s not some amazing skill. There are people who did several years of schooling that have never and WILL never make as much as some of these 20-somethings that are showing pictures of their feet, and mailing off jars of bath water. Long story short, there’s some jealousy there.

IMO, men aren’t really bothered the average stripper/streetwalker/escort. Most of them are living pretty unremarkable lives, aside from the detriments that come with those lines of work.

sigma1932 · 2023-11-02T07:43:39+00:00

Semantics about the word "hate" aside...

It's because exclusive reproductive access (i.e. her being sexually monogamous towards only one male to ensure paternity) is the primary thing that men seek from females from an instinctive, biological imperative standpoint... a baseline concept that still carries over into other areas in more psychologically complex social environments.

Sex workers are literally commodifying promiscuity on a directly transactional, "single-serving" basis (i.e. the opposite of exclusive reproductive access), which goes directly against that basic instinctive imperative.

If there's a reason to actively "hate" sex-work, it's because it's an industry that causes the women engaging in it to be removed from the pool of reliable options for building stable families.... and those women are already in short supply to begin with.

Also, "male loneliness" is more complex than basic hormonal release, and isn't magically cured by them masturbating with a hooker's body.... especially when there's a blatantly material transactional tradeoff (denoted by the "commodification" aspect mentioned above) looming in the back of their head.

To make an analogy with the genders reversed, women generally wouldn't be satisfied if they had to pay exorbitant prices for men to pay attention to them/take them on dates, etc. while knowing that those men would also be entertaining other women at the same time, and he would cut off all contact with her the second the cash-flow stops.

ThatPizzaKid · 2023-11-02T05:27:11+00:00

Hate feels like an incredibly strong word. Honestly I feel like most men just dont want to date them, because of the perceived stigma of having a girl who is easy. Look no further than Logan Paul and his fiance, if you want to see how that kind of stigma can end up damaging a dudes career.

KorinTowerFreeloader · 2023-11-02T06:27:51+00:00

I am a man, and I don't hate sex workers. In fact, I have never met a man who does. Women usually hate them, though, because they take the power away from them in the dating market. Of course, I would never date one, but I fully support them. They are an important part of the society.

SlashCo80 · 2023-11-02T07:11:11+00:00

I wasn't aware they do? It's usually women I've seen being far more judgmental of sex workers and especially men who visit them.

On a related note, there were a couple of SW subs around (still are, but some are private now) which I visited out of curiosity and was shocked at how many of them expressed dislike for their work and outright contempt for their male customers. This included escorts as well as Onlyfans models and the like. Definitely made me see them in a different light than before.

TenaciousVillain · 2023-11-02T05:54:00+00:00

I believe it's because they see those women as used, worthless, and tainted. It's a last resort when they can't get what they want, how they want it - an empty power play. They do it out of desperation, an inability to control urges, being socially inept or otherwise ostracized, lack of confidence and shame, strange, disturbing or depraved sexual proclivities. When it's not some guy having fun, I'd bet many men who use prostitutes have a lot of pent up rage and resentment toward women and society in general. But it's not because of anything the prostitute did and because of everything they themselves can't do.

It's self-hate, guilt, shame projected onto a complete stranger.

Lovers691 · 2023-11-02T05:02:11+00:00

Society in general doesn’t like sex workers so they are an easy target to ridicule. Also I don’t think most women advocate for sex workers.

RelationshipSalty369 · 2023-11-02T08:49:38+00:00

Because men believe women's bodies are public property, free for everyone to use.

George69143 · 2023-11-02T06:03:25+00:00

Men who are attractive do but for the larger portion of us who aren’t we don’t mind them because that’s one of the only ways we can get laid.

OmoshiroiKudamono · 2023-11-02T06:38:33+00:00

It depends on which men you ask. Most of the 35+ y/o men will have Christian beliefs about it.

For the younger man (TRP's target), they would use their services, but NOT entering into serious long term (other than FWB).

Most_Read_1330 · 2023-11-02T07:52:24+00:00

Don't know, I think they're great.

y2kjanelle · 2023-11-02T09:06:46+00:00

I literally don’t know. I think men love a challenge or something because they make dating and sex and relationships EXTREMELY hard for themselves and turn around and point fingers.

It makes zero sense.

I think it’s human nature though to constantly want to feel superior than others esp if one sees themselves as “using” another person. Men want to feel powerful and making women feel like shit makes them feel that. Even if those men are benefitting from those women. The power and belittling and ego boost is addicting to them.

And it’s so interesting how delusional they are to comment that they “don’t hate them they j don’t want to date or marry them” but if a woman were to say that about an incel,

Men would harass her off the internet. They would say she’s only into bad boys and deserves to get treated like crap and will end up a lonely cat lady.

Men love drama.

WYenginerdWY · 2023-11-02T09:32:13+00:00

Sex workers shoot to hell the male fantasy that they can be sloppy and slovenly and old and still get hot young pussy to fuck them like their lives depend on it. It's women overtly saying "no, you don't deserve that, if you want that experience from us, that's work on our part and you'll have to compensate us".

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mummydontknow · 2023-11-02T06:12:56+00:00

Hate is a strong word, and it isn't necessarily the workers themselves. I dislike the premise of exploiting sexuality, I think it is predatory and greatly diminishes the significance of sexuality. Sex workers play a vital role in that cycle, and they are used as pawns to further influence young girls into such a lifestyle.

I'm not pretending like I care about random people, rather I am expressing concern that normalizing a certain thing within a society would affect the people closer to me, thus it is in my interest to oppose its normalization.

FrodoCraggins · 2023-11-02T06:22:25+00:00

I used to live in an apartment building a girl worked out of, and she stunk up the entire building smoking some kind of drug in her apartment. She was straight trash through and through. I'd never date someone in that line of work knowing what their day to day life is like.

AbroadSalty · 2023-11-02T07:25:34+00:00

Inner conflict and religious guilt double standards. Shame , illogical justification. A whole plethora of reasons.

obviousredflag · 2023-11-02T07:34:39+00:00

It's a political, value based divide in the population and a sex-service vs relationship material divide and a social class divide. How is that not clear?

"Women" do not care about sex workers at all. Some feminists use sex workers to virtue signal and some feminists use them to hate on the patriarchy.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-11-02T09:01:16+00:00

Do men hate sex workers? This is news to me

upsidemaze · 2023-11-02T09:32:03+00:00

Men dont hate prostitutes, they love prostitutes. But even men who acquire the services of a sex worker will not commit to them.

Thats the reality

Regular_Lettuce_9064 · 2023-11-02T09:42:02+00:00

I think this title is misleading. Those who hate them are either incels who have a grudge against women or men who are SW’s, or hypocrites who will visit a SW, relieve the urge and then criticise the fact they had to pay to do so.

Men I know who have visited SW’s, often liked the girl as a person, sometimes becoming a regular client. There’s a real person behind the trade, often struggling to separate the work situationship from the emotions of real life relationships.

And the world has plenty of attached women who were sugarbabes, or dated a guy for his money or married a guy for his money. I don’t see much difference between them and a SW.

HODL_monk · 2023-11-02T09:43:35+00:00

I don't know any men that just generally hate sex workers, but I do know plenty that resent the fact that women can sell their affections, and men cannot. I think the second thing is what you are experiencing, as sex work is just a job, and not that great a job, beyond (sometimes) the money, so its not logical to hate someone for doing a job, since most of us have to do one, of some kind.

rieleo · 2023-11-02T09:59:45+00:00

Shame. They consider what they do (or want to do) to be sinful/shameful. Therefore by wanting them, they feel shame, which is shown by anger towards them.

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2023-11-02T10:09:01+00:00

It’s probably a mirror of the hatred and disdain women have for the patrons of sex workers.

bottleblank · 2023-11-02T10:09:22+00:00

Because it's potentially exploitative to put a high monetary price on sex (a thing that most people do indeed get for free) and it's a massive kick in the self-respect to feel as though you have no choice but to pay that high asking price for even a bad facsimile of intimacy when others are given all of the real things associated with sex and intimacy without pay-to-play requirements. It's not love, it's not validating, it's not emotionally intimate, it's not even entirely willing (otherwise she wouldn't require compensation in order to tolerate your request).

Same goes for "touch therapy" too: if you're going to charge "quasi-illegal sex" money for a cuddling experience, that's a lot to ask of a man who is only contemplating your services because they're so desperately deprived that they'd be willing to make such a significant financial sacrifice - potentially on a regular basis, even - to achieve even the most basic of physical interactions.

It's taking (potentially extreme) advantage of men who are naturally driven to seek these things but who are arbitrarily excluded from experiencing sex and relationships as other people do, when it's not necessarily their fault they're in that position and who can't necessarily afford to pay that entry fee for such an intrinsically human experience.

I say this as a man who believes that women should have the right to pursue that line of business, if they so wish, and that it should be legal in order to increase safety, confidence, and fairness for all involved, with industry health checks and proper financial management, instead of women being trafficked or coerced, being abused by substance addiction, or forced to accept unreasonable risks regarding disease.

Some exceptions apply, to my mind:

You're sexually successful and paying specifically for some kind of special extra service that "normal" women aren't often willing to indulge in, like an extreme or niche kink, which might involve acts which would, without payment, be considered too risky or disgusting to try
You're otherwise successful but want the convenience of immediate readiness, without the time/effort/uncertainty of success, essentially paying for the fast-track ticket to guarantee a (potentially premium) experience on tap
It's a service for people who would find it medically/physically difficult to ever achieve it otherwise or it can't be achieved due to being confined to a facility or home which the patient can't leave

If it's truly a voluntary decision by both parties to enter into such an arrangement, fine, but that's not necessarily a given on either side of the coin.

John_Oakman · 2023-11-02T10:11:18+00:00

Because those who display their hatred elevate themselves above those who doesn't, which the OP inadvertently prove: the haters are acknowledged/validated not only their existence but their masculinity, while the non-haters are already forgotten.

And telling the non-haters that they're not entitled to anything isn't a solution, because that just further validate the haters and their decisions.

Razieloo · 2023-11-02T10:14:28+00:00

Women hate them more than men usually

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-11-02T10:26:47+00:00

Because "sex worker" is not sex its "cock tease worker"

Getting actual, safe, and legitimate sex services in the US outside of limited grey areas are still met with punishment from the police.

Government does not want men to have actual access to sex because why should we, we need to be good little work horses for the system.

HotOutcome9161 · 2023-11-02T10:47:25+00:00

Not a man but I think one valid reason to dislike sexworkers is that they are willingly sleeping with married men. That‘s morally wrong in my books. I would not be friends with someone who sleeps with married men. Getting money for it doesn‘t change anything for me.

Powerful_Horse_1900 · 2023-11-02T05:04:47+00:00

I really like to eat fried fish steak. Every time I buy fish from the market, the aunt who sells the fish is very beautiful, and we communicate very well. Similarly, do you think I would like that aunt, do I hate her, and do I despise her. No, I really like the fish she sells, and I also enjoy chatting with him. I don't hate her, nor do I despise her, but I won't have any relationship with her or marry her. It's that simple

99TimesAround · 2023-11-02T05:43:50+00:00

We don’t, we adore them

Title	Why do men hate sex workers so much?
Author	ThrowRAsweeter
Upvotes	2
Comments	183
Date	November 2, 2023 4:39 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17lvqyh/why_do_men_hate_sex_workers_so_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-men-hate-sex-workers-so-much.1237090 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237090

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