This is going to be a long post, but I believe it's worth sharing, so bear with me.

I've been wondering about this for a few days: When did women gain so much leverage over men in the dating scene?

It's widely recognized that women have historically faced, and to some extent still face, disadvantages compared to men in areas like the labor market, housework, childcare, and overall safety (e.g., harassment, sexual assault, ogling, domestic violence).

However, the dating landscape feels heavily biased in favor of women—almost overwhelmingly so. It seems that women not only find it easier to hook up or meet new people, but also don't have to put as much effort into getting what they want. From my own experience, I've seen very few women struggle in the dating market—usually only those who are very shy. On the other hand, half of my group of friends, who are in their early to mid-20s, are dissatisfied with their dating experiences.

Has it always been this way, or has dating actually become more challenging for men compared to 20 or 30 years ago?

I have a feeling that several recent developments have disproportionately affected men in the dating market:

1. The Decline of Communal Life and Rise of Antisocial Behavior: The advent of the internet has intensified a trend that began in the late 20th century: the decline of communal life. In the past, people would go to church together, participate in clubs, or stay at the same job for decades, which allowed for stronger bonds with coworkers. I believe this shift has affected men more negatively than women. Men tend to get more addicted to video games, anime, and pornography, making them less inclined to socialize and, consequently, less likely to meet women. This has also atrophied their social skills.

2. Women’s Empowerment and Changing Expectations: Women's empowerment has made it more challenging for men in the dating scene. While this is a positive development that has improved society, it also means that women are less tolerant of problematic behaviors. Decades ago, a man could be a poor partner and still face few consequences. Today, many women won’t tolerate being talked down to, subjected to physical abuse, gaslighted, or asked for too much without reciprocation beyond financial support (the 'trad wife' model). This shift has raised the bar for men to secure dates and maintain long-term relationships. We’ve moved from talking about 'red flags' to now identifying 'yellow flags,' and who knows, we might soon discuss 'orange flags.'

3. The Rise of Individualism: Since the 1980s, individualism has taken hold, valuing personal well-being above all. This mindset has led to higher expectations for partners, with women now seeking not only emotional and physical compatibility but also financial stability and ambition. The pressure on men to meet these evolving standards has intensified. As both men and women focus on careers and self-improvement, dating can take a backseat. Women tend to have broader social networks, helping them navigate dating more easily, while men, who often rely on romantic relationships for emotional support, may feel more isolated.

Still, I feel these reasons aren't enough to fully explain why men currently seem to have it so rough. What do you think?