Question for men: Do you take the time to prioritize your partners orgasm, even if that means continuing to work on them after you’ve already finished?

TryLambda · 2021-10-07T07:30:22+00:00

Men usually enjoy seeing and hearing the sounds women make when they orgasm, so yes some men make it a priority

IllusoryIntelligence · 2021-10-07T07:35:24+00:00

I’m always surprised to hear there are men that don’t. Even if you don’t care about fairness or making your partner happy pure self interest should be enough. Do I hook up with the guy who gets me off every time or the one that can’t be bothered seems like an obvious choice.

To be totally realistic there were a few times when I was younger that my partner was probably faking it and I can’t feel too bad about that. It’s a two way street after all. I’ll do my best but I can only work with the information you’re giving me.

meme_lords_unite · 2021-10-07T12:05:55+00:00

Honestly, sex isn't hard and making a woman cum is easy. I remember being so fucking terrified my first few times, because I heard it would be painful for her or I'd have to input the Konami code to get her off. I worried about my size, moves, her experience, being judged, everything. There's so much negativity and misinformation surrounding sex, it gives men performance anxiety.

Once I started fucking though, I realized it was mostly bullshit. Like... its easy. This shit isn't rocket science. As OP says, if you're unsure, just ask her what she likes. But regardless, I'm of the opinion that all it takes to get a woman off is a desire to. As long as a man genuinely cares about getting her off, I dont see how he can fail, because its that easy.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-10-07T07:19:34+00:00

Of course.

If she doesn't orgasm during PIV, there's no shame in eating her out after.

Been with my wife 10 years and the times she hasn't orgasmed during sex I can count on one hand.

Also if she only orgasms once that's a pretty poor performance on my end.

Women keep on raising the orgasm gap. But honestly, that gap is not evenly distributed. My wife outdoes me at a ratio of about 2:1.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-10-07T07:37:03+00:00

No. Why? Because I'm able to hold back until they finish first.

If they weren't able to finish, then yes, assuming i was fwbs or dating them I'd eat them out, but not with a hookup.

Even with a hookup I'll make sure they finish first though. Won't eat out a girl who I'm not long term with however

Also idc if they break out a vibrator, not sure why some men are insecure about that, if they're fucking you then who gives a shit?

Bara-enthusiast · 2021-10-07T08:58:51+00:00

I can confirm as someone who has had sex with both as a man that dudes definitely try harder to make you enjoy the act than women. Many bi men I talked with shared the sentiment that a lot of women act like "I'm here I'm naked, what more do you want"

While it is easier for men to orgasm, as they almost always will, men can be dissatisfied with sex.

LowValueMail · 2021-10-07T08:49:53+00:00

When I was in a relationship I was on anti-depressants and couldn’t finish so the sex was mostly about her. I quite enjoyed that dynamic. So the only way I’m a selfish lover is if you think it’s selfish to not cum for your partner.

GalacticGigaChad · 2021-10-07T07:26:42+00:00

Sex needs to be talked about before the act, preferably spoken about during the early stages of dating. Communication is key, tell your man what you like and if he is comfortable with it he'll do it.

Me personally, if my partner asked me I would. As long as I'm not getting my own nut in my mouth or licking an unclean shitty anus ide happily ablige that request.

No one is shaming you for wanting to buss a nut. But woman need to communicate with their man or else how is he supposed to know what you want?

backcourtjester · 2021-10-07T07:46:45+00:00

100%

I get almost as much pleasure from pleasuring her than my own orgasms. Also it feels (and fits) soooo much better when she has has had at least one orgasm

redditSucksNow2020 · 2021-10-07T09:28:34+00:00

If she tells me what she wants, I do it. In my experience, they seldom tell me anything even if I ask. Like I gotta play twenty questions, but not even get a "yes" or "no" answer. Just gotta go "she sometomes seems to moan louder if I do it this way..." and figure it out from there.

Current gf tells me what she wants. She orgasms EVERY SINGLE TIME. Maybe I am Chad McThundercock, The Exception to the Selfish Male Lover, but I suspect it's more likely that most men would if women would just say, and I'd they aren't asking, it's because women before have told them "iT mAkEs Me ShY iF yOu AsK! "

tickledpic · 2021-10-07T07:26:25+00:00

Depends on the mood but usually yes. Sometimes my dick hits the right spots and there is no need, other times a little bit more attention on her is needed.

She sucks me off if she finishes first, I do different things to ger her off if I finish first. I wouldn't expect her to be as enthusiastic about sex with me if I didn't lol.

harold_shipman_gp · 2021-10-07T07:57:47+00:00

Yes, every time.

My partner is capable of multiples, so I make sure she has a few before PIV even starts. I try to hold out for one or two during PIV, but regardless I make sure there's a few more afterwards.

I've always put in the effort to make sure that the woman I'm with cums either an equal amount to me, or more if possible.

It's just common sense to me: I figure that if I don't make them cum regularly then they'll cheat or leave. Obviously that's something I want to avoid happening.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-10-07T13:15:05+00:00

believe me, if you learn how to work with her and ask her what she wants, she will orgasm faster.

Women are so . . .

Why does he have to ask you? Here's a pro tip ladies

"YEAH DADDY KEEP GOING!"

"OH KEEP GOING YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CUM!"

"YOURE MAKING ME CUM!"

"I'M CUMMMING!"

Then, YOU can prioritize getting HIM off. Why is it so hard to just come out and tell your man what you want, or give positive reinforcement during the act? First of all, it's just fun to hear as a guy. But secondly, after awhile, it really won't be needed.

Going off of cues alone is sometimes unreliable. In the beginning, my wife simply never had an orgasm before, and didn't fully comprehend the feeling, and she would stop me if it got "too intense" effectively edging herself. Being young, I didn't know any better, I thought I was doing something wrong or she was just painfully difficult to get off. Turns out she's actually quite easy to get off.

if you have ever expected a blowjob from a woman no strings attached and you still won’t even try to please her beyond hammering your wiener into her vagina because she’s never spoken up about what feels good to her, that’s called being a selfish lover

I'm lucky in this regard, as my wife is apparently one of the few women on earth (according to reddit) that gets off from sex alone. And it should be noted that throughout our relationship, I haven't had objections to going down. And I do expect blowjobs with no strings attached, I'd say once a week or so. She likes giving head (you shouldn't be with a woman that doesn't enjoy giving head).

trashrelations · 2021-10-07T13:33:12+00:00

i don't finish until she's satisfied. it's fucking etiquette.

DjangoUBlackBastard · 2021-10-07T16:27:48+00:00

This thread is funny because all but 1 man is saying it's important to them. This is a clear lie women have been pushing consistently - the idea men don't care about women having orgasms. Meanwhile 67% of women admit to regularly faking orgasms which would make no sense to do if men didn't care.

Kaisha001 · 2021-10-07T15:12:38+00:00

While there clearly is a lot of dumb/selfish men, a lot of this has to do with the men women choose (aka assholes/selfish men... who'd thought they were selfish in bad /pikachuface).

But this is classic female nonsense:

Some women do still have issues with it because a lot of the time we’re shamed for thinking about our own orgasms during sex, this isn’t to say that this will work 100% of the time), why?

There it is... the predictable victimhood/infantalization of women. Women have no agency, it's never their fault for not speaking up or communicating... No it's society, she was 'conditioned', she was 'shamed'...

If a woman refuses to communicate her needs, then she shouldn't be surprised when the guy she's with doesn't know what they are. That's entirely on you.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-10-07T12:39:43+00:00

Women on reddit: YoU aRe ReSpONsIbLE FoR YoUr OwN OrGaSmS

Also women on reddit: you are being a selfish lover!

WilliamWyattD · 2021-10-07T07:40:01+00:00

Because most women do not have a refractory period per se, I think it is typical for women to have their orgasm first. That can mean using hands or oral, especially if she cannot orgasm via PiV. Sometimes you can go for the oral orgasm first, then she can have another in PiV (possibly assisted by direct clitoral stimulation), and then the man can finish. This is efficient because women typically lack a male-type refractory period, so even when her orgasms are done and the male is working towards his, and the culmination of the session, the female partner is at least capable of enjoying some mutual pleasure, or at least feeling erotically stimulated. Obviously, when one has the luxury for a really extended love making session, more orgasms can happen. Similarly, a woman who is very orgasmic can have more.

One issue that, according to the literature at least, is perhaps more frequent than many men are aware of is the woman with an orgasmic pattern similar to men. This is to say that she is 'one and done' with a kind of refractory period similar to men. I had one such partner, and it made the 'normal' pattern more complex, particularly since she could orgasm fairly easily by PiV with no clitoral stimulation. This meant that when she came, she needed to terminate PiV. In addition, she was no more inherently enthusiastic about providing stimulation to her male partner post orgasm than a man is. Women like this actually can have issues with premature orgasm, much like men. We definitely had to adapt our patterns.

Another issue it took me a while to understand is that there is a fundamental problem with the efficient woman first orgasm (or first and second, etc.) followed by the man to finish the session orgasm pattern. The problem is precisely that this is a pattern. Women, in my experience, need an exciting and novel erotic gestalt to their love making more than men, for whom novelty is more about new partners, sexual acts, etc. It's easy to find the orgasmic and pleasure patterns, including intercourse positions, that are maximally efficient and effective for a couple; and to then fall into those patterns on an almost invariable basis. But this can often make sex predictable, mechanical, and boring for women, which will douse desire and ultimately make it less pleasurable. There is often a need to find a balance between what works best for a couple mechanically and being unpredictable and novel so that each sexual encounter feels different and special. How much one needs to 'change things up' depends on the two individuals, of course.

Finally, it should be said that at extremes that most couples will decline to explore, there is a great deal of trainability to most people. This type of sexual training can radically alter the fundamental sexual terrain, and thus the sexual possibilities. Many women can learn to alter what they can orgasm from and how often they orgasm. Men can learn to have non-ejaculatory orgasms and pure prostate orgasms, which both have no refractory period. But again, this is beyond the purview of most couples.

Remarkable_Tree_1703 · 2021-10-07T08:09:15+00:00

I don’t cum unless she has

jiggywitit2 · 2021-10-07T08:25:48+00:00

Honestly the idea of not prioritizing her orgasm is so foreign to me. I’m not just there for my own sake. If nothing else, simple logic would tell a guy that if you want to do this again, you should make it worth her while. I will say that my first partner had a much more difficult time. Partially from childhood trauma, partially because she was closeted. But because of her vaginismus, I learned about all the non-penetrative stuff I could do. Since her, I’ve had very experienced partners who would go on for literal hours about how good it was for them. It’s a good feeling, and I don’t think I could ever enjoy myself if I didn’t think she was having just as good of a time if not better.

FlamingZebraFace · 2021-10-07T11:31:20+00:00

I personally hate continuing to perform any sex acts after I've cum. That being said, I have no issue delaying my orgasm until everyone's happy :)

Rosifer433d · 2021-10-07T12:00:36+00:00

Of course. The one way to make yourself more attractive as a sexual partner is to prioritize a woman's physical pleasure before your own. Make her feel hot. And there's plenty of hot women who feel like they are average.

Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay. Play with her. Get her aching for you. Make her have several orgasms before you enter her. Give her a full body massage with body oil. Then you do this nifty little thing with your fingers that they all love, and I'm not talking about drilling your fingers inside of her.

Easy as fuck. And they will make sure the guy gets to enjoy himself too, because there are so many men out there who don't care one bit about a woman's pleasure, when women meet a man who actually wants to sleep with her, not use her body: they're down for a lot of stuff.

throoowwitalllawaaay · 2021-10-07T14:31:52+00:00

I see nobody actually answered your question but just said that they don't do that. lol
So I'll try to make a guess at least.

As someone who slept with both men and women, let me tell you that women almost exclusively require far more work to please. I'm talking about both physical and emotional labor here.

So my guess is that if we are talking about casual setting, men already put more effort in the beginning(asking out, finding a place, reservation, paying etc) so after all that, you still expecting them to put more effort into something than you (in this case sex) obviously won't fly with a lot of them. They'll feel exploited and that you are not pulling your weight.
So some of them just do it until they don't orgasm and that's it, and considering that women require more effort to please, if men actually put equal amount of effort as a woman, a woman is the one who's far more likely to end up not satisfied.
So if a man consistently makes more effort in bed, a woman should put more effort elsewhere.
Some people won't really try hard to please someone they know for like ~1-2 weeks or something, especially if they are not even sure that they'll end up in a relationship with that person in the future.

At least, that's what I think, but as is always the case, this is just one explanation and it might not apply for every situation.

Fudstersecured · 2021-10-07T15:07:53+00:00

I really enjoy going down on my partners and like to see them satisfied. I’m baffled that other men see oral sex as demeaning rather than confident or even dominant. When a woman’s eyes are rolling back and she’s crushing your head with her thighs, you’re in a good territory with your intimacy.

That being said, a women’s orgasm can be a tricky thing. I think there are often more psychological barriers at play. We have to do far more work to figure out mood, preferences, tempo than women do with what is a comparatively basic physical response for us. Men can come from pretty lousy sex and women aren’t built that way.

thoughtfulandthotful · 2021-10-07T15:12:59+00:00

Yes. It’s the right thing to do, plus because a lot of men apparently don’t put in this effort, it virtually guarantees she’ll be coming back for more.

Due-Bag6496 · 2021-10-08T13:49:34+00:00

If I (as a man) doing all the leg work in dating and the relationship in general what make you think that you deserve an orgasm??? I'm really disappointed in red pillers , does a prostitute deserve an orgasm?? And that what make men subconsciously selfish in bed , he feel that he get rewarded by sex , so he normally priorities his orgasm , if you want an orgasm you need to earn it like men do . You need to approach more intilate sex more give more gifts and compliments, stop thinking of yourself as a prize If you do that I personally and most guys in the world will do anything to get you off, If you want to be respected more than an object start acting as a non object

NockerJoe · 2021-10-07T07:56:47+00:00

...yes? I take it as a matter of course.

But the reality is if the dude is initiating and escalating and de facto paying this isn't really an equal thing because equal work was not put forward until that moment. I think a lot of men won't make the woman a priority because she didn't make herself one until sex came up and suddenly its all equal.

You can't have a system that frames it as a man pursuing a woman, and a man caring about a woman as an equal and worrying about her needs, because at no other point were his needs discussed and he got there because he asserted himself. If you want an orgasm from a man you should probably be picking the dude you go for better and thinking about how you frame your entire relationship up to that moment.

passepar2t · 2021-10-07T08:07:17+00:00

If a woman is taking "too long," she usually stops me herself, saying I don't think it's gonna happen right now, let's try again later.

gkom1917 · 2021-10-07T08:08:37+00:00

Well, when I was active in this, ahem, field, of course I prioritized how my partners felt. To the point of realizing one sunny day that I cared about what women want so much that I never managed to ask myself what exactly do I like.

So, given all that, just an observation: if she's not that turned on by you, nothing really matters: not sophisticated romantic entourage, not oral gymnastics, not playing speleologist, nothing. Seriously.

So I wonder how many instances of "didn't have a single orgasm with him" come from insufficient female arousal/attraction towards a man, and not from male selfishness.

Second observation is, of course, we are not mind-readers. We. Are. Not. Mind-readers. Can't repeat it enough times.

Special-Armadillo-99 · 2021-10-07T12:03:32+00:00

If she doesn't cum from piv then we aren't compatible

cuckspace · 2021-10-07T07:56:28+00:00

Bold of you to assume that men on PPD have sex. Continuing to work on her right after an orgasm is generally not physically possible, so it’s best to make her come first, which is what I always try to do.

DerekMorganBAU · 2021-10-08T00:19:40+00:00

It’s because a lot of men don’t eat pussy, don’t like to eat pussy, or don’t know how to eat pussy. You can make a bitch orgasm from missionary too if you know what you’re doing. But it’s because once a dude nuts that is IT. He’s gotta recharge unless he knows how to actually not bust like a chump but that takes time and experience.

This is similar to my thread about women though. Just cause you’re enthusiastic and made him cum does NOT mean that you did a good job. Women with trash sex game exists and it is the saddest thing in the universe.

DrBoby · 2021-10-07T09:20:52+00:00

I rarely care.

I don't find it interesting. If women can get off it's fine, but it's not my job.

I actually had compliments about it from several women. Only one ex complained about it, but she still came back for more several times, so I don't know.

DeliciousPussyNectar · 2021-10-07T08:53:36+00:00

If she ain’t squirting it ain’t working

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-10-07T08:06:36+00:00

I didn’t even experience an orgasm from a man (my now husband) until I was 22, and I definitely have not been shy with the opposite sex.

That's because women teach each other that you've got to ride that carousel until you find that good dick - that there are two types of men you need to meet in life, one is the Whore and the other is the Madonna.

It used to be that couples got together, bought a copy of "The Joy of Sex" and explored sex with each other.

Now days we go out and explore sex on tinder and keep ourselves as sexual strangers once married.

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Traditional_Job2467 · 2021-10-07T08:26:24+00:00

I guess it's how both want to experience orgasm as much but the problem is that one has a limit sadly because of body needing to recover to refill on the seeds. Plus on different ways to pleasure

FatmanSlim93 · 2021-10-07T08:33:32+00:00

I’ve never had an issue but I always communicate with my partner. If it takes a long time I might just get her off and then I’m done.

TheSmallerGambler · 2021-10-07T09:27:49+00:00

Yes.

ChocolateSharp · 2021-10-07T11:24:14+00:00

Wait, isn't that what cuckold bf/husbands are for?

xFallacyx69 · 2021-10-07T11:41:25+00:00

Yes of course….

I’m not a woman, so I don’t see sex as a chore, and I don’t see it as leverage. Most dudes are not attractive enough to do so either… or they’ll never get laid.

But I will next any chick who think making her orgasm is some hidden secret that I need to guess in order to keep her around. No, just tell me what you like and I’ll make it happen.

In my experience, women use sex to try to score commitment from a better looking dude, then get confused when that frat bro nuts in your mouth and bounces… don’t worry though, it’s not your fault, it’s only like the billionth time that that has happened… (end sarcasm) and THAT is what baffles dudes lol

Adding. I’ve gotten no strings attached blowjobs all the time. Sometimes I reciprocate, sometimes I don’t… if you tell me to go down on your after I’ve cum in your mouth, I’m not going to say no… it’s almost like we’ve invented a whole language to communicate what we want to each other… crazy I know

Barely-moral · 2021-10-07T11:46:56+00:00

Yes. Of course I take the time. The most enjoyable part about sex is my partner's orgasm and her reactions afterwards.

I am a male, my orgasm comes easy with or without sex. It is not a big deal so I can't understand why it would be a priority. I can't understand why it would be important. It is something that I can get outside of a sexual encounter.

7SovarN · 2021-10-07T11:50:18+00:00

Of course, I always start with oral/hands. My dick isn't going near her until she has orgasmed at least once, unless she wants to 69 or just wants to get fucked immediately.

015X · 2021-10-07T12:14:43+00:00

I don't mean to humble brag, but my problem is I take TOO long. Sometimes I don't cum at all because my body gives up before my dick does, but yeah I pretty much prioritize my lady. I've been taught in my earlier years that sex is about the other person. This mindset has helped me feel more fulfilling about my sex life, despite cumming less than the women I've been with.

ArguesAgainstYou · 2021-10-07T12:50:31+00:00

Idk what's the norm, I don't sleep with other men, but I do this most of the times (unless it's a quickie). I've only really slept with one person and she really enjoys being fucked during her orgasm so what I would usually do is make her come with my tongue and then fuck her until I cum into her.

jimjam696969 · 2021-10-07T13:14:34+00:00

rothkochapel · 2021-10-07T13:26:40+00:00

If I have any energy left, yes.

upalse · 2021-10-07T13:33:13+00:00

Seriously guys, ask your ladies what they want.

If you do that, they'll tell you that they don't want to be your psychiatrist. Better just stick to good old and tried telepathy.

BoogersAndSugar · 2021-10-07T13:37:42+00:00

Abso-friggin-lutely! Gotta "service" her at times if you wanna keep her. I think most guys know this. They just don't bother with it when they're using someone as a fleshlight. This is a good way to gauge what a guy's intentions with you are. If he's being selfish in the sack, most likely he's not interested in anything serious with you.

KirthWGersen · 2021-10-07T13:41:02+00:00

Of course. But there is a limit. After I have had an orgasm, my sexual energy rapidly depletes and continuing for more than a few minutes becomes extremely unpleasant.

Best to make her come first as many times as she wants to, then come yourself.

All pretty standard stuff.

Actually, I will often purposefully not come, so we can have a quick nap and carry on for a second, third or fourth round. Once you are both there, you might as well make the most of it. Or carry on in the middle of the night. Or in the morning.

shrikethrush23 · 2021-10-07T13:54:17+00:00

Why would I stop after I finish? I'll be back up in 15 and I gotta keep her in it. Sex is just ultimate cuddling, you don't just tap out after round 1. The heck.

just_a_place · 2021-10-07T13:54:48+00:00

I do, and once I asked a question here for women about "aftercare" which is when a guy puts in effort to make a girl feel comfortable and secure after she orgasms and I was basically laughed at. Half the replies were women who though I was ridiculous or who just felt irked by the idea as if it is somehow unmanly and off putting. A lot of them said that sex for them is just a quick smash 10 minutes tops and then on with their day.

vetado · 2021-10-07T14:04:40+00:00

My wife's Electronics = the steam-powered drill

My tongue = John Henry

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2021-10-07T14:29:04+00:00

As most men, i lose interest in sex for a short wile after finished, so i let her enjoy herself before i do, or we do it together in the same time. Yes, it is possible 😀

luliloo · 2021-10-07T14:47:47+00:00

I have a friend and she’s been in multiple long term relationships but I don’t think she’s ever experienced an orgasmed before. She’s tried doing it solo with a vibe but she doesn’t know how to get there.

If you can’t get yourself there, you can’t expect someone else to. Depending on men for orgasms just leads to disappointment.

GeekyMango757 · 2021-10-07T15:25:40+00:00

I always make sure to get my lady off before I even undo my pants. I know I’m gonna cum in like 1 minute anyway, so I always get her across the finish line first.

Glarkin42 · 2021-10-07T15:26:01+00:00

My fetish is literally restraining women and making them orgasm. I don't even need to physically penetrate a woman to enjoy the process.

gmanex · 2021-10-07T15:38:38+00:00

She comes first. I have no problem faring for myself.

Esaulph · 2021-10-07T15:57:51+00:00

What gets me off is actually my girlfriend’s orgasm. I can’t orgasm til she does. I guess it’s because i want to please her first, and also - her sounds of pleasure really turns me on

masterdarthrevan · 2021-10-07T16:06:23+00:00

Yes I do.

dat_db_doe · 2021-10-07T16:15:37+00:00

After I orgasm, I use my mouth and/or fingers to get my wife off 90-95% of the time. The other 5-10% that I don't is when she's satisfied and chooses not to continue. I'd be happy to do it 100% of the time.

IOportA · 2021-10-07T16:59:12+00:00

Yeah I do, it's fun to watch a girl cum

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-10-07T17:13:53+00:00

Yes. But sex for me is like an ongoing state of mind. I don't have to orgasm every time sex happens. Whatever "blue balls" is, I don't suffer from it. So sometimes it is all about her and I may not even take it out of my pants. Other times it may be all about me. I know this isn't most people's style. There's a few reasons it came about, but I'll spare you. It seems to work for the few partners I've had so far, and they've all been vocal enough to ask for what they want at various times.

ledatherockband · 2021-10-07T17:46:23+00:00

Yes. She should have a good time, too.

YoMamaz_azz · 2021-10-07T17:58:41+00:00

No. I just look for a girl who is able to get off from me doing what I do.

jbo99 · 2021-10-07T18:01:04+00:00

I do her before me. Usually once with fingers and then once during sex. I feel that this is the way.

wtknight · 2021-10-07T18:03:31+00:00

Yeah, of course. It turns me on when my partner orgasms. If I’ve already orgasmed, I might even be able to go again if her orgasm was good enough. But most of the time I try to hold off and make sure she orgasms first.

NotGoingoutofMW · 2021-10-07T18:40:29+00:00

No need. She usually cums two times before me. Although from time to time we do a long romantic session instead of pure wild madness.

RedditAlt999 · 2021-10-07T19:02:55+00:00

Depends on whether I want to see her again.

purplish_possum · 2021-10-07T19:12:13+00:00

If she's not getting off with what I like doing we're just not compatible and it's time to move on.

nick1812216 · 2021-10-07T19:29:07+00:00

I try to prioritize a partner’s pleasure, but I usually lose the will to live after ejaculating…

StereoFood · 2021-10-07T19:35:57+00:00

I would if they just asked. They just hate feeling vulnerable I guess

LowCreddit · 2021-10-07T19:38:58+00:00

It depends on the situation. Normally yes, but sometimes she is more interested in the act itself. Doing something daring or kinky and quick can be just as fun as going through the full orgasm ritual.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-10-07T19:42:29+00:00

Of course. Make her orgasm first, at least twice. Get it out of the way so you can concentrate on yours.

stare_at_the_sun · 2021-10-07T22:29:56+00:00

(29F) none but one of my partners have been interested or cared about that. The rare man who did was 10 yrs older than me and was into me for my youth. Fwb have put more effort in than any long term guy so far.

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2021-10-07T23:02:43+00:00

I try to get her off first, before even "putting it in".

PaidByPutinBot123 · 2021-10-07T23:13:04+00:00

Everytime, even with ONSs

Lateralanouncer · 2021-10-08T00:11:13+00:00

Not me. I’m in my 40s so am experienced and adventurous. I find most woman’s vaginas are vastly different. Some want this inside. Some what a 6 or 9. Some want 10 mins and some want 45. some want that out side some don’t. Some want to be touched and that’s not my issue. I do what I want and if she gets off she is a good match and If she doesn’t get off with sex being as freely available today as it is, I say next.

As a result I live a life with an extremely healthy sex.

vin9889 · 2021-10-08T00:40:12+00:00

Depends on the woman. Sometimes it’s engrained that things are done.

Overall, would love to continue to play just have to make sure they want to too!

foreblue · 2021-10-08T04:42:21+00:00

Early in a relationship yes most of the time. In order to establish everything she likes and figure out what’s what. But eventually that changes depending on the woman. I can last a while or finish pretty quickly if I focus up. If it’s routinely taking foreplay + 20 minutes of penetration + an additional 30 minutes to get her off, then we aren’t going to be having the same number of orgasms in the relationship. I will keep trying my best and bring in whatever she wants. But if I can finish from a bj in under 3 minutes, and it takes me 30+ mins to get her off, and I have a higher sex drive, then it would honestly be preposterous to get her off every time I do. With that said, if I am getting bjs here and there then yes every time we have sex I’ll get her off most of the time.

As far as reasons go that aren’t necessarily time-related, if I feel like I’m carrying way too much weight in the relationship then that may affect my mentality. Also if a woman gets really pouty or passive aggressive because I’m failing to do/understand exactly what she wants, that can be extremely emasculating.

sigma1932 · 2021-10-08T07:01:23+00:00

The last girl I had a fling with openly expressed that she didn't like the fact that It was so much easier for me to get her off than it was for her to get me off.

That aside, I approached sex from as far back as my teens with a mindset of "if you expect this person to forsake all others for you, you better know what the fuck you're doing".

Too bad the vast majority of women don't take it upon themselves to do the same... instead, they think sex is "something only women give to men", or they whine about how "porn ruined men", etc. The most recent "travesty against women" is insta-thots posting their asses all over social media causing younger girls to develop self-image problems... which society then over-corrects with all this body positivity crap.

chilikettlechips · 2021-10-07T12:04:49+00:00

I stopped dating girls that can't PIV orgasm a long time ago, so this isn't a worry for me.

abaxeron · 2021-10-07T10:47:03+00:00

Some women do still have issues with it because a lot of the time we’re shamed for thinking about our own orgasms during sex

What are you talking about. All a woman needs is to put "female comedian" in search, and she'll be bombarded by "my vagina" stories.

To the question. If I don't have enough time or strength to give her an orgasm, I don't have sex.

ChiBron86 · 2021-10-07T14:03:05+00:00

It just never fails to amaze me how little women understand men's sexuality.

Literally the moment a man orgasms, the last thing he wants to continue doing after that is what he WAS doing. The body and mind completely change. What seemed appealing mere 5 seconds ago is now borderline repulsive. It's gross. Sex or anything related to it is the absolute last thing you want to engage in. It's just how we were built. This is not about being selfish, it's simple biology. Men have no physical nor mental desire to continue engaging in a sexual act after orgasm. I personally put physical distance between me and my partner the moment I cum. I don't even wanna touch or cuddle until some minutes pass by.

But hey, I'll do my best to please her prior to my orgasm, but once I nut, everything stops. And thankfully, every woman I've ever been with has been understanding of it. Most likely because every man they've ever been with acted the exact same way.

LightGlows · 2021-10-07T20:57:03+00:00

This isn't a men's problem

This is a woman's problem

It is not up to us to figure out what you want from sex, it is up to you to tell us

I would just dump you if you had this attitude with me tbh, my gf tells me what the fuck she wants i don't have to therapy it out of her. I am the pleasing type as well who will ask but goddamn fuck your attitude, we a team at sex or we ain't a thing no more

I didn’t even experience an orgasm from a man (my now husband) until I was 22, and I definitely have not been shy with the opposite sex.

You either choose some real assholes or you were shy in the bedroom. I'm gonna take a stab at this and guess it's the latter

ragman75 · 2021-10-07T21:41:37+00:00

No because that's not my job. My job is to fuck and get me off, im already doing literally all of the work, if she wants to get off that's her responsibility. When two gay guys fuck the bottom jerks himself off, straight women should do the same.

statsfodder · 2021-10-07T11:36:32+00:00

My Wang is magic.. 20 women came and 3 got pregnant just from reading this. Xox

Title	Question for men: Do you take the time to prioritize your partners orgasm, even if that means continuing to work on them after you’ve already finished?
Author	NimblyBimblyMeyow
Upvotes	57
Comments	338
Date	October 7, 2021 7:13 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/q33nb8/question_for_men_do_you_take_the_time_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/question-for-men-do-you-take-the-time-to.1076941 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076941

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