Would you ever participate in a polyamorous relationship? If yeas or no explain down below.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-04-26T21:42:14+00:00

I imagine 2 women rubbing my chest after some hot 3 way sex.

In reality it's probably like 2 women taking turns bitching at me.

houstongradengineer · 2022-04-26T21:51:11+00:00

Never, not a chance. I only have space to love one partner on a daily basis as much as I love and care for myself. Even that's pushing it. Frankly if I had more time and energy, there are other things I'd spend it on like kids and/or hobbies. I wouldn't spend it listening to someone else's crap or learning more than one person's new body. I have 1 equal partner who is a great lover, 1 equal partner who is there for me without much failure if at all, one person to be romantic with, and that's enough because he doesn't suck.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-04-26T22:00:08+00:00

No, no I would not. I have friends in those sorts of relationships and while they seem to find them fulfilling, it is clear from conversations with them that there is a lot of extracurricular drama. I’ve arranged my life to be as drama free as possible.

qtiphead97 · 2022-04-26T22:07:18+00:00

No. Anytime I have ever had romantic feelings for more than one woman at once, given some time and self-reflection I find that I don’t really have feelings for either of them

Drougen · 2022-04-27T00:29:09+00:00

I feel like Polyamorous relationships are just an excuse for people who are married and don't want to divorce but don't want to cheat.

I can't imagine ever being in one.

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-04-26T22:09:07+00:00

i would rather die

TedHynes · 2022-04-27T02:15:07+00:00

no because dealing with one mentally-ill person is more than enough

Anti_Thing · 2022-04-27T00:02:07+00:00

No, never. I would not be able to handle it. I believe in monogamy & it would be a deal breaker for me if a woman didn't.

Barely-moral · 2022-04-27T00:14:10+00:00

I would never participate in a polyamorous relationship for two reasons.

First one is that I am possesive about my partner. Not going to share.

Second one is that I have not enough energy nor time to spend in two romantic partners. It is enough effort to keep just one.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2022-04-26T21:48:39+00:00

Poly relationships sound like a chore to me tbh. My life already has me expending enough mental energy. Adding another relationship on top of the one I already have (and have had for a long time) just seems..... tiring. As an introvert, bleh. I know my limits to social interaction and what I have is more than enough.

Also in a general sense, my motivations for being in a relationship are mostly non-sexual. It's generally a lower priority for me and I'm pretty content to be that way. From a more practical perspective, I doubt I could give my partner the attention she wants now while somehow also maintaining a whole-ass other relationship either (and also like, living, working, herding a cat, etc.)

CosmicBioHazard · 2022-04-26T22:31:13+00:00

I’ve seen a few commentaries on this kind of thing; a phenomenon of men agreeing to a “polyamory” arrangement (because it’s always the woman asking for it).

Most of the time it’s just him getting the short end of the stick and the woman putting all her attention into someone else while sapping his resources, but assuming he does pick up another GF he’s got two things coming to him; number one the girlfriend gets jealous because only she was supposed to have a side piece, second the other girl hears the term “polyamory” and the strict definition of that makes her think she’s getting the girlfriend treatment, but his interpretation is that his girlfriend’s given him permission to cheat; the guy just wants sex, he doesn’t need to be burdened trying to show affection to two women.

princessxmombi · 2022-04-27T00:32:32+00:00

No. If I want to date/sleep around, I’ll be single and emotionally unattached. During the fairly brief periods I’ve been single as an adult, I had fun casually dating but it gets old after a few months and I quickly found talking to multiple men exhausting, even when there is no commitment/expectation. I can’t imagine all the mental energy it would take to have committed relationships with multiple men. Plus, I’m not wired to be in love with more than one person at a time and would not be happy in a relationship where my partner wanted to be with other people.

featheredsnake · 2022-04-27T03:14:22+00:00

I had one polyamorous relationship. It is one of the best relationships I've ever had if not the best. If you take away the "ownership" portion of a relationship AND have the maturity to handle it, you are basically with the other person because you truly appreciate who she /he is. It is a deep level of friendship. In all honestly, if this were more common, it would be a healthy sign of our society.

I do want to clarify that polyamorous is *not* synonymous with no rules. We did have some rules. Respecting said rules as the other person is important. You still have to put energy into your relationship.

Accepting that the other person is with you out of their own and complete free will changes the dynamic positively. One of the things you realize is how sickly we've come to normalized jealousy rants. In every other aspect of life, adults are expected to keep composure. When it comes to jealousy, we are culturally allowed to act like toddlers. I still felt jealous in my polyamorous relationship but my attitude towards that feeling had matured greatly. There was one time I brought this girl back with me to my hometown and we went to a small barista shop. The owner was flirting with my girl in a nuanced way. I was actually happy. I wanted my girl to feel attractive (specially since she had gained a little weight and felt somewhat insecure). I wasn't angry about nor was I concern I was going to lose her. It's funny how it works because when you act jealous you push the other person away but when you have this attitude your confidence goes up because you know you wont lose them. It is ironic.

I ended the relationship because of typical story of guy wanting to move the big city and make it big. Even the way we "broke up" was insanely mature compared to anything else I've ever had to the point I still consider her a very close friend.

That's my experience. It's weird how in society monogamy is the only mainstream option. We could do a lot better if we learned different accepting ways of loving each other.

Teflon08191 · 2022-04-27T03:36:45+00:00

I've seen too many instances of a woman demanding an open relationship and then turning it into everyone's problem when the dude actually sees success to fall for that trap.

I'd consider a woman's demand for an open relationship to be a loud and clear signal that the relationship is over.

JediGuitarist · 2022-04-27T18:05:59+00:00

Funny this should come up now. I recently attempted to do the poly thing in an effort to broaden my horizons, I guess. The woman I was "seeing" broke up with me this past Friday.
First issue, is... yeah. I'm a dude, and a dude who women in general don't want anyway. So naturally this "poly" relationship was me dating a woman who was dating four other dudes. Shortly after we met she got "busy" at work and then had some kind of health issue and of course dividing her time among a bunch of guys meant that at one point I didn't see her for over a month except for the occasional apologetic text about how she missed me and would see me soon.
So at that point I said to myself, "Self, this is basically going to be Just Sex^tm because there's no logical reason to pour all of your emotional effort into someone for whom you are just an option, and it's not like you're juggling multiples and can simply engage elsewhere." Which I thought was fine, but then she was like "You don't appear too interested", said something something vulnerability (which is funny, we talk about that here all the time and I've both been totally honest about everything with her but never otherwise needed to be "vulnerable"), and ultimately decided she wanted more from me than I was willing to give, so I shrugged and said "ok" and went home. And the Just Sex^tm thing wasn't even going to happen because one of her other partners gave her an STD.
My other poly experience was a married woman who expressed interest multiple times, picked someone else multiple times, and then asked me if she could keep my phone number "just in case".
I'm back to being single and probably won't do that again. I think the biggest red flag was the first one, when I told her that she was the only one I was seeing so it wasn't "really poly", she shook her head and said that wasn't true. Sounded pretty lopsided to me.

heartheartdoki96 · 2022-04-26T21:44:07+00:00

Triads are not the main form of polyamory. In fact it's usually recommended against that. Most peolle date separately. Triads usually do fail because the people most likely to enter into triads are newbies who havnt worked out their jealousy. It's usually a couple who wants to be "poly" and often does have an unwilling partner or partner who isn't as into it.

What's your proof there is less success in poly? R/relationships is 99% mono people and depressing AF. Most marriages end in divorce and a huge portion of people cheat. So we see a much higher number of people failing daily at monogamy.

Would I be poly? I'd be open to it if my partner was, but would I do well? I can't say. I don't get attached with sex. But I like being special and being the only one for my partner and I like having him be that for me. It sounds like a lot of work. Like monogamy is easier for me. But for lots of people monogamy is a chore and poly is easy

Also r/polyamory has tons of happy, healthy peolle posting there daily, just posting about their happiness and their success. And success in polyamory is specific to those people. Not everyone wants 5 long term partners.

Also also, you're assumption it's all women and horny men, like? Lots of trans and NB people are poly, tons of queer people in general are poly. It is harder for straight couples to transition to poly, because men and women are raised to view other people of the same sex as competition and not companions and we are raised with unequal expectations and power imbalances

its-hot-in-the-worm · 2022-04-26T23:01:45+00:00

I know a handful of poly people.

One friend is pansexual so it's a way for him to not have to compromise pussy or dick. I have another friend who is a beautiful woman who has done it in the past. She has mental health issues and is currently monogamous with her boyfriend.

I also slept with two men in open relationships. With one it was more the man's idea (he did bring it up before they became serious) and the woman was erring about it. I'm not sure how they're doing, apparently his gf was super into therapy.

The other guy had an (by his omission) very successful open relationship with his girlfriend. I don't know him that well.

From what I gather (and correct me if I'm wrong) it rarely (if ever) works outside the gay community, where open relationships are quite normal and free from jealousy. (Which begs the question, why to gay men not get jealous when the scene reflects all the other evo-psyche traits of male sexuality?

Personally for me it's just...way to much effort.

scwizard · 2022-04-26T22:41:31+00:00

If she could convince me it wasn't immoral.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-04-26T22:41:45+00:00

Not poly but had a few threesomes. It was enough to show me I am not wired for splitting my attention between two people. I’m an introvert. Even having one partner can feel almost like too much.

MelodiousTones · 2022-04-27T00:18:53+00:00

We tried it, using Twitter. We each had several digital relationships that were sexual. After a time it was consuming all of our time and was impossible to maintain in our lives. So we stopped doing it. Experiment failed.

sleuthoftrades1 · 2022-04-26T22:17:39+00:00

I'd only ever be outside of polyamorous relationships outside of the Western context. Being a poly man in the West just means being a cuck.

Longjumping-Goat-348 · 2022-04-26T23:11:20+00:00

Most men don’t have the power or desirability to command multiple suitors. These relationships generally end up with an involuntarily loyal man and a woman fucking a bunch of other dudes.

sarkington · 2022-04-26T22:25:33+00:00

My life is busy enough, thanks

SurelyWoo · 2022-04-26T23:07:39+00:00

No, because I don't want to miss out on attending the Oscars.

mistgivenveil · 2022-04-26T23:23:32+00:00

No because I am on the extreme end of monogamous orientation.

I want to be my partner's first and only and I want to be his.

PolyThrowaway524 · 2022-04-27T13:26:26+00:00

Most polyamorous people don't actually date in group dynamics. We date individually. All my partners know who I'm dating and I know who they're dating, but we don't spend time all together. Some of my partners have met, and I've met some of my partners' partners, but it's not something we prioritize.

Monogamous relationships that open almost inevitably fail (93% for marriages) and that's what you see a lot of on the advice forums. Poly people who exclusively date other poly people don't really experience that kind of drama. As a result, we get no attention or media coverage. You only get to see the toxic shit.

I have three girlfriends and a few poly friends with sometimes benefits. One of my partners lives with me, and we've gotten really good at making space for each other to have dates at home. In general, we go out of our way to facilitate each other's relationships. That's what healthy polyamory looks like.

smarmycheesesandwich · 2022-04-27T18:07:21+00:00

Yes. It sucks. Don’t do it. Granted, I was actually more successful than my ex gf, who preferred to take it slow. But I determined that I enjoy investing my efforts into one person. Monogamy is my jam.

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2022-04-27T19:40:09+00:00

Poly is for losers. They are a pathetic bunch. Second only to ppd. Stay clear.

Notsonewguy7 · 2022-04-27T03:15:11+00:00

No. I fundamentally at my core don't believe that it is a real relationships.

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cowfishAreReal · 2022-04-26T21:50:19+00:00

No, just not my type of thing, nothing against people doing that.

ManGoneNoWay · 2022-04-26T22:22:49+00:00

Maybe. I wouldn't want to know about the other partners though. And I wouldn't have kids while in a polyamorous relationship.

ChessClubChick · 2022-04-26T22:38:11+00:00

Hopefully, I’m not that ugly.

extrachromozomes · 2022-04-26T22:58:39+00:00

Hell no

goatismycopilot · 2022-04-27T00:01:17+00:00

No. It sounds like it would drama Llama time.

PutthegundownRobby · 2022-04-27T00:09:22+00:00

I think that's what all dating relationships are. And, well, sadly what most serious relationships even marriages are these days, only no one is honest about it.

EviessVeralan · 2022-04-27T00:10:57+00:00

I wouldnt. There are rules against doing so in my religion. Plus i wouldn't want to share my husband and i have no desire to get a boyfriend on the side. Even if this wasnt the case, i know people who have actually tried it irl and it ended as a massive dumpster fire of resentment every single time.

throwaway316stunner · 2022-04-27T00:18:36+00:00

Nope, never would happen.

Besides, I’d be lucky to have. one person be genuinely interested to be in a relationship with me. Pretty sure my brain would explode if 2 or more were interested at the same time, let alone be willing to share.

EulenWatcher · 2022-04-27T00:57:10+00:00

I could imagine trying it out, but it isnt something I really want to do in practice. The only variant I'd be okay with is committed polyamory where all partners are I to each other. So it would work only for bisexuals.

I don't want to practice it, because I think it's harder to navigate relationships with more partners. I'm also a quite jealous person, so I'm not sure I could deal with it. The idea if 2-3 people loving me is great, sure, but I have no idea how I'd be able to love all of them and not feel jealous eventually. There's also a question of kids. It isn't a classical family situation and although I think kids would benefit from having more significant adults around, it could be rather stressful to manage it overall.

Thucydides00 · 2022-04-27T03:18:24+00:00

I think poly can definitely work for people, but my personal opinion is that a relationship has to start poly or ENM, you can't bring it in later, that's a recipe for disaster. I also think three is the worst number for that sort of thing, it creates an opportunity for a really bad dynamic that will usually turn into two of the three coupling up and the third left out.

If I met someone who was ENM/poly I wouldn't write them off honestly, but I'd prefer not to be the primary partner. It'd definitely make buying a house cheaper though!

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-04-27T04:22:35+00:00

You have to really think through your motivations. Are you trying to do it because you love each other as a couple but are utterly bored of fucking each other and just want to get access to new ass? Do you like you watch your partner fuck someone else? Or do you just feel the need to recharge your batteries by fucking other people so when you come back to your primary partner you have a renewed passion and horniness for them? All different scenarios.

ClaraBow01 · 2022-04-27T04:39:08+00:00

Never. Most polyamorous relationships seem to be very one-sided. While I’m sure there are fully consenting relationships of this nature, most of it just seems to be a form of manipulation to control a partner without actually committing to them.

ithinkoutloudtoo · 2022-04-27T06:52:12+00:00

No, because polyamory is just an excuse for women to cheat. 🤷‍♂️

jonascf · 2022-04-27T09:35:19+00:00

Also can actual polyamorous people answer.

I'm polyamorous. I have two girlfriends and I've been with one of them for close to nine years and with the other one for close to four years now. So far I must say that it's working very well.

Feel free to ask if there's anything you wanna know.

hudibrastic · 2022-04-27T10:01:54+00:00

I did and will never do it again

It is totally unbalanced for men: 1. Women get sex much easier 2. If a woman falls for another guy she loses attraction to you

decoy88 · 2022-04-27T14:32:07+00:00

Yes. I’d give it a go.

Why? Because I enjoy variety of women and I don’t get jealous.

My scepticism would come from the logistics side of things. I struggle to keep up with my engagements and friends and family now, adding more people to the mix seems like extra headache.

CallMeJessIGuess · 2022-04-27T15:00:50+00:00

You have a very inaccurate view is how most poly relationships actually operate. Poly relationships aren’t 3 people in a single relationship. That’s a notion perpetuated but unicorn hunters who are mostly scorned by the poly community. In those cases yes, it’s mostly one partner pressuring the other because they just want to fuck other people guilt free.

I’m in a poly relationship with my girlfriend. My girlfriend is in a relationship with me, she’s in a relationship with her husband, I’m not in a relationship with her husband. I’m friends with her husband, we talk regularly when I’m over there. But I’m not romantic or sexually actively with him in any way.

lord_of_memezz · 2022-04-27T15:19:33+00:00

I would do one under a mff or mtf and the people I was with would have to be VERY mature and competent in how they run their life. Most poly does not work because the people in it are too immature to be in one. Usually as op said things will get one sided and one partner will be pushed out so you really need to know that the people you are with are in it for more than just sex and for something to do.

No-Priority7869 · 2022-04-27T15:29:13+00:00

Not as a primary partner. That’s a horrible deal for men.

What happens when ppl open relationships, is the man has been loved and lusted after by SO for long enough that he forgets other women probably don’t want to fuck him on sight. But other men do want to fuck his SO on sight, and if it’s a poly relationship, she’s allowed to. So for every 1 date you get she could have 100. It takes a very high value, secure, or whipped man to live with this for very long.

Plus poly women tend to be mentally ill and “submissive”, meaning “starfish” in practice.

I’ll fuck some other man’s poly wife any day though, as long as she doesn’t know my real name or where I live.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-04-26T22:13:20+00:00

I don't know many poly people, but from what I've seen, triads aren't common.

I would need to know the specific terms, but at face value I'm not opposed to it. Is there a difference between poly and an open relationship?

Pastelitomaracucho · 2022-04-27T04:15:57+00:00

No.

Polyamory is just a scammy excuse to cheat.

athlete2biz · 2022-04-26T21:43:28+00:00

no.

maybe a polygamous relationship where it is open on my end only, but id have to 10x my net worth to pull that one off, and id probably feel too bad for her if she had my chidlren.

but I would feel absolute disgust at my woman having sex with another man, I would end things immediately

plasticpollution12 · 2022-04-27T04:06:40+00:00

No, I am not a cuck.

randodeez54311 · 2022-04-27T00:26:58+00:00

Prolly not cuz a reg relationship is a lot

I’d def he into non monogamy tho

SylvestorTalone · 2022-04-27T03:55:30+00:00

No, because I'm not a degenerate.

Green__Bananas · 2022-04-27T04:18:20+00:00

No bc I’m repulsed at the idea of sharing my partner

mehregan_zare7731 · 2022-04-27T04:48:29+00:00

No. I want to be the only one in her life , as she'll always be the only one in my eyes.

Lollerinos1000 · 2022-04-26T21:52:44+00:00

I think there's more to life than how many gurlz I get to fuck. Human relationships have a tendency to fail as we are all incomplete and imperfect. I don't believe an abundance in partners would solve the core issue which I believe is ultimate lack of honest, good friendship. Also having a family or forming a family as poly sounds pretty awful. There's so many factors that it just seems like a doomed idea.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-04-27T00:38:26+00:00

Lol no.

2022-04-27T00:46:38+00:00

No it's too much stress , it's the same reason I would never engage in a threesome , satisfying one person is hard enough , and you want me to do 2 , fuck that , plus I don't like open relationships nor do I like to have two partners, I prefer focusing on one partner so I would expect the same of my partner

chamberlain323 · 2022-04-27T00:53:02+00:00

I was getting hit on by a female poly co-worker back in the day and invited to, uh, “date” her with her husband’s permission but politely declined the offer. The truth is that I just wasn’t physically attracted to her but thought she was funny and a good hang, so we became platonic friends and I learned a few things about how that community operates. She was bi so she dated mostly girls while he was straight so he dated other women exclusively but they had strict rules to follow (safe sex was mandatory, for example). They were also card carrying geeks and so were everyone they dated, and it’s my impression that this is common in the poly community. Sadly their marriage went off the rails when he fell in love with one of his dates, and that was that.

Would I ever do it? No, I wouldn’t risk a serious relationship by opening it up like that. Would I ever accept a “date” with a woman in one of these relationships? Honestly, that entirely depends on the circumstances but I wouldn’t totally rule it out.

Slitelohel · 2022-04-27T01:18:02+00:00

Yes. I currently am with my spouse. We are not in a triangle, however. We each do our own thing.

Reasonable_Voice_997 · 2022-04-27T01:53:15+00:00

Never in this life time! I believe in loving one person at a time, so when I make a Marriage value I mean to keep. I can never betray the relationship or the love of my life.

LiftSushiDallas · 2022-04-27T01:53:31+00:00

No. I'm fine with dating non-exclusively, but in those situations I'm not investing my emotions or doing any "girlfriend game." If I'm in a relationship I'm going to invest time and emotions. I'm only going to do that for one man and only if that man is exclusive with me.

intelectualycurious · 2022-04-27T01:55:22+00:00

It doesn’t work. Someone is always going to feel like they’re getting less of the person than they want.

Goth_Lizard · 2022-04-27T02:11:55+00:00

thetruthishere_ · 2022-04-27T02:49:53+00:00

No, Im not into sharing.

And before some of you say some baloney about me being an escort, I dont date at this time.

They are not forced, they chose it. Unless they have a gun held to their head, they are choosing it.

I chose not to just like they can.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2022-04-27T02:55:05+00:00

No way in hell.

Tried this at the suggestion of my now ex wife in 2013. It was a series of failures for me, and I never found anyone to click with. I know now that she used the premise to get her old AP back into her life.

I filed for divorce the following year.

ReklessS0ul · 2022-04-27T03:11:12+00:00

No, i need exclusivity

Chaddamhusein · 2022-04-27T03:51:02+00:00

No ew 1 woman is enough of a headache on her own

Friedidli · 2022-04-27T05:41:20+00:00

I think i could do it if i was an unimportant third.

My biggest fetish is being a pet to 2 lesbian women.

It's easier to di it in a casually sense, not as an actual relationship.

I do not understand how.throuples work.

PeppinoGreen · 2022-04-27T06:00:33+00:00

If I'm not taking seriously a woman, yeah, why not? Nothing important would be lost if anything goes wrong.

If it's a LTR, fuck no.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-04-27T06:02:07+00:00

No. I considered it ten years ago, but couldn’t come up with any benefits. And after being in a relationship for that time now, I realise that I need (and give) quite a lot of time and presence from my partner.

If I had multiple partners, I wouldn’t have time for other meaningful relationships and hobbies, and if my husband had others, I would feel left out. My poly friends don’t always understand my reasoning, because they “don’t need one person to fill all their needs”, and that’s fine I guess, but I need lots of quality time to really bond with someone, especially if they are my partner.

Also just checked out that polyamorous sub why was it so depressing?

I haven’t read that, but I’m not surprised. Many people try polyamory for the wrong reasons. Also, if being or finding a relationship is difficult for you (as it seems to for many people nowadays), adding more people doesn’t make it easier.

Guitar-Master9891 · 2022-04-27T06:43:34+00:00

I dated a by girl when I was 19-22, when we met she defined herself as strictly hetero but some day she told me she was attracted to girls. I was quite excited about it tbh and by the time she told me if I wanted to explore that part of her sexuality with her I was already on board. We had some threesomes and we agreed to open the relationship only to women. She dated a few girls in a matter of weeks while I was staying at home most of the time.

I wasn't jealous of her (IDK why the thought of her with other girls didn't triggered any jealousy, weird) but admitedly I was pissed at the situation, well to make it short I finally met a girl and we clicked almost instantly, we started dating and having sex and my girl got jealous (no shit).

Since then, we agreed to meet other people always as a couple, and any woman who came home would be open to both of us, that was the rule.

It worked out quite well, we actually had a girl living with us for an entire year before she moved to another city.

Honestly, the best time of my life. The sex was awesome, and being a very high libido man, having two women at home that can do the job is a plus.

The emotional side thou, it's just too much. Even when they got along really well (and my girlfriend seemed more into the girl than into me hahah) I had to deal still with two women nagging at me for stupid things, taking care of their emotional needs and try to pacify the situation everytime they had a minor fight... Over some other stupid thing.

Also, insecurities can be a bitch. The other girl was quite more attractive than my gf, objetively speaking, so she would come up with bullshit like I was more pasionate or loving or attentive with her, or that I bought nicer gifts for her birthday because I was more in love with her or stuff like that.

Overall, yeah, I would do it again, but girls need to get along well.

I wouldn't enter into a MFM situation cause, well, I want consistent sex and I don't think a girl can keep up with me and another dude. Apart from that, nasty as fuck. I'm not a bi dude so there is that too.

wolvtongue · 2022-04-27T06:55:35+00:00

Just go and check out the contributions to r/nonmonogamy for a week and see the actual dynamic for yourself.

peppapigoink95 · 2022-04-27T07:06:48+00:00

I wouldn't cuz I find exclusivity to be the pinnacle of romance. It's like a VIP club that only my special person can get into, which makes it all the more fun. It's our lil secret society.

Crafty-Particular998 · 2022-04-27T07:08:26+00:00

No, because I don’t like sharing, and I love being desired so much to the point that he doesn’t ever want to share.

neetykeeno · 2022-04-27T07:28:29+00:00

Nah. Too hard to make ordinary couple stuff work, adding more people won't improve anything.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-04-27T07:34:21+00:00

Most polyamorous that I’ve seen, have always

Been about value. Specifically sharing it. Admittedly in my culture, similarly to Islam, having multiple wives isn’t an issue. If you can afford it. Similar too that each wife gets their own house, own cars, good schools etc.. I know this first hand because my grandfather had two wives.

That said I’d never partake in it. Personally whilst it’s nice having a huge family, lots of support, and especially a huge family network; I think the model of a smaller, nuclear family system is far more beneficial. For future generations you can invest more quality; as opposed to quantity. Better schools. More exclusive hobbies/pastimes/social circles. Most importantly; more quality time. Ultimately though, the traditional version of polyamory is only viable, if you can afford it. I’d imagine these newer versions, with working class participants, often disregard the importance of one factor: Money.

Godspeed and good luck!

KikiYuyu · 2022-04-27T07:48:04+00:00

Absolutely not ever. Rather die alone. Sharing my partner would make the relationship completely undesirable to me.

Relationships with only 2 people fail all the time. Adding another person just makes the odds worse. Also I think a lot of people go into these relationships thinking it's what they want, but a lot of them discover it's not for them and then they're stuck.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2022-04-27T08:08:25+00:00

I'm an introvert, I can handle my own shit and one (1) other person's shit. Multiple partners sounds like more drama and encroachment on my beloved alone time.

Rispy_Girl · 2022-04-27T08:27:25+00:00

Yes. Hubby has lower sex drive than me, so I would see a few other people that I've seen for years. Mainly a guy who I dated seriously in the past (complicated story), a couple who are awesome, another couple who are awesome, and a single woman and a guy who she dates but they aren't in a labeled relationship. If we found the right person we would be willing to incorporate them into our life and house.

So this is heavily based on respect and trust from both sides. We closed our relationship for the time being because we haven't had enough time together as it is with a baby in the mix. The people I saw sexually are also people he likes and is willing to hang out with socially.

It also may make a difference that sexually in a bit more like a guy. Getting more sex makes me a more loving partner in the relationship. I also kind of see sex as an extension on the friendship spectrum and don't exactly have a romantic spectrum in my head that is separate. Also I have 0 interest in leaving my hubby even if a billionaire tried to take me away. He's my one and only and if I decide I want to be a billionaire in the future we both can figure out how to make that happen together.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2022-04-27T10:25:23+00:00

I've thought about it in the past. Especially a MMF so I'd be able to be in a relationship with a man and a woman at the same time.

Honestly. I think it's still probably left as a fantasy or a fun thought exercise. One relationship is enough work. Having to maintain more sounds very messy and stressful.

Were I single, I think I'd be open to one with the right people (and strictly only with other bisexuals). But it's not something I'd ever actively push for.

ass-thetics · 2022-04-27T11:58:14+00:00

If you have ever had a hookup, you have participated.

Kizka · 2022-04-27T12:56:35+00:00

Nope. I would be open to a open relationship when it comes to sex but I would never share the love of my SO or try to love more than one man. That sounds exhausting.

Spiritual_Age_4992 · 2022-04-27T13:31:29+00:00

Yes. I will be converting to Islam soon so I can marry five women.

This may sound strange and a bit mercenary tbh, but it's a well established concept, and in finance, it is called asset diversification.

Or, more colloquially, not putting all your eggs in one basket.

gofigure62 · 2022-04-27T13:58:17+00:00

No. I've never seen the relationship dynamic exercied in a certain way. There's always someone who the other person clearly likes more and spoils more. Then the person whose getting the least in the relationship is made to feel like shit with lectures about how it's impossible to make everything 100% equal and that they already get enough in the relationship and need to work on their jealousy.

Also it typically seems like a way for slackers to dupe lonely responsible people into taking care of them. It's always unemployed or underemployed men and women that are living off a very successful man or woman that simultaneously ends up being the least liked in the relationship. It's like the lure vulnerable people in with the guise of "group love" just to take advantage of them in some way. If it isn't taking advantage of people financially then it's taking advantage of people domestically by making them do unpaid childcare and the brunt of domestic labor while they sit on their asses.

I have never seen any poly relationships that weren't fucked up and extremely unfair.

Frankly if you're going to be in a shitty relationship, seems like it would be worse to have multiple people treating you like shit instead of just one.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-04-27T14:17:13+00:00

It’ll only work if your LTR is as into the third as you are otherwise don’t even do it

Electrical_Coat_8714 · 2022-04-27T14:24:01+00:00

No, never, woman mine, me, woman's. Everyone else can fuck off

Smitten_Squire · 2022-04-27T15:22:21+00:00

Hell no, most are abusive and end badly for all.

Remember that youtube vid of poly family with those nerdy guys? they tried to make it seem like one big happy family... Later on girl got preggo and allegedly one of the dudes beat the kid up and got arrested.

Shredddz · 2022-04-27T17:56:32+00:00

no. fucking yes, but not relationship. I can only invest in a future with one person, anything else is honestly just a waste of time energy and resources. If I was the most attractive dude on this planet, I would still have 1 LTR to commit to, and fuck other women periodically for fun, but without any invested effort.

For a man there is just no benefit to spending time on multiple women outside of sex.

-25T · 2022-04-27T17:56:55+00:00

I assume I was forced to share (give away) one too many toys as a child so I'm quite possessive. Any man of mine is the only person who I have eyes for and they must feel the same way about me.

I will never share. The relationship also sounds like a huge chore.

yayayubsea · 2022-04-27T21:10:31+00:00

i couldn't handle it. i am too jealous and all about/over someone when i am in love

AdFeisty8514 · 2022-04-27T23:38:02+00:00

No. It’s a headache to deal with one persons emotions why double that

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-04-28T01:31:51+00:00

My wife and I are non monogamous, I can fuck other women she also fucks other women, that's as far as I would go

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-04-28T12:14:55+00:00

Yes I'm in one. Dynamic? No rules, but triads are hard so I heard. Just had a girl ask to be one with me and my gf, but that's a first. Do? normal relationship things... i have gf who has a second bf, nothing special.

I'd call my relationship successful, it's going on 2+ years. Sure there are some issues regarding how long it can go for, but it's been my best relationship yet.

Most people can't do 'real' poly. They see poly as a way to have fmf triads. If the man can't handle his woman dating another man (I'd say most men that want to try fake poly) then they are lying to themselves, delusional over that this is how he gets a 3some. Sad really.

It's like MGTOW and depressing sub. Most happy Mgtow/poly people don't need to go to the sub, because they are happy lol.

Again, traids are hard mode. I don't date my gf's bf, but I am bi. She dates him (and other guys) and I date other girls. No crossover in dating, very easy and simple for people without jealousy issues.

urukshai · 2022-04-28T17:14:34+00:00

It is negative value sex.

tf_bloomer · 2022-04-28T20:27:25+00:00

No. Never. Because it’s degeneracy and sinful.

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-04-29T23:05:46+00:00

Nope. Men struggle enough to be present in a relationship w one woman. I don’t believe they’d be able to support more than one woman emotionally, if that.

_lexxxi_98 · 2022-04-29T23:17:40+00:00

I would and have a joined other couples, but wouldn’t have one myself. If I’m with someone I want to be with just them. It a couple is looking to open their relationship, and I know both are open to it I’m down. I’m talking to a couple now, and planning on hanging out with them. It’s just something new to try. I’m too focused on getting in myself for an actual relationship and just like the company of others.

delight-n-angers · 2022-05-01T03:41:42+00:00

I've been in a polyamorous marriage/relationship for 19 years.

First and foremost triads/throuples (is mmm, mmf, ffm, fff) are the least popular form of polyamory even though they're the most overrepresented in mainstream media. They're also VERY difficult to maintain and almost impossible to form ethically without abusing the third party that "joined" the existing couple.

My husband and I dated separately. I'm currently monogamous and prefer it this way. I don't have the energy to maintain multiple romantic relationships and as I age my desire wanes.

Husband has 1 other partner, so we are a V formation. I don't date his other partner. They've been together 10 years. All 3 of us are raising a kid together (biologically theirs, on paper I'm step mom).

I'm not sure how to answer the question "dmwhat do/would you do?" Because it's not all that different than monogamous relationships.

We handle it just fine, otherwise we wouldn't still be doing it almost 20 years later lol.

Title	Would you ever participate in a polyamorous relationship? If yeas or no explain down below.
Author	WillingnessSuper9066
Upvotes	26
Comments	150
Date	April 26, 2022 9:38 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ucnglp/would_you_ever_participate_in_a_polyamorous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-you-ever-participate-in-a-polyamorous.1113282 https://theredarchive.com/post/1113282

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