Why do men care so much more than women about promiscuity?

ChazinGreatnezz · 2022-09-12T04:22:03+00:00

5-8 questions per week on this topic

KombuchaEnema · 2022-09-12T06:57:48+00:00

Because women are the gatekeepers of sex and sexual acceptance/rejection is like the core insecurity of masculinity.

If a man has attained sex from lots of women then all of those women likely regarded him as having high social value (looks, status, wealth, etc) whereas if a woman has sex with lots of men it may seem to a man that she's flakey and will jump ship to the next dick at the first opportunity. Men pursue sex and women give sex, that's the biological reality.

Inevitable_Brain9852 · 2022-09-12T05:36:10+00:00

Women sleeping with past romantic partners is not the issue most of the time. Guys don’t want women who’ve been with a different guy sexually every weekend. Or on some consistent basis.

So instead it’s easier to say I want a woman who is a virgin or doesn’t have a high body count.

Not to mention the scientific evidence that the more people you sleep with the more likely it is you cheat.

So men seeing that, don’t want a woman with a high body count because they want to decrease the chance of being cheated on.

Or if your like me, you see sex as something that is meant to be for marriage. Now is it a deal breaker for me if I get with a girl who has had sex with people she had long term relationships with. No. But I have chosen to remain a virgin because I believe that’s a connection only meant to be with my future wife.

Cogmeister17 · 2022-09-12T18:47:15+00:00

Had a friend recently say she wants to be a “trophy wife,” doesn’t want to work just be pretty for her man. Told her she should probably stop shacking up with a bunch of different guys. When she asked why “well, no one wants a participation trophy.”

It was in jest, buuut somewhat true. You can’t really be a “prize,” using her own logic here, if anyone can have the prize.

ThorLives · 2022-09-12T03:45:42+00:00

Promiscuity = higher chances of the kid not being yours and potentially raising someone else’s offspring instead of yours.

Agitated-Ad-3576 · 2022-09-12T04:23:35+00:00

I think a better question would be "why is that from many women's viewpoint, a man's height is more important than his virginity?"

I think it makes perfect sense for a man to care about a woman's virginity... especially if he wants to get married, since the fact that she abstained from premarital sex proves that she will also abstain from extramarital sex. Premarital sex and extramarital sex are very similar: they both take place outside of the marital bed. (Google " Does sexual history affect marital happiness").

Acceptable_Parking96 · 2022-09-12T07:42:44+00:00

Women can have sex with almost any man without any effort, many men never have sex and those that do have to put a lot of effort into getting it. Promiscuity in women shows low self worth, that they’re desperate for attention/partners. A women who isn’t promiscuous has her sh*t together and knows what she wants, has the self control to wait for it/hold herself back from jumping from man to man. At least that’s how men interpret it. Furthermore if she’s promiscuous there’s more competition from previous partners, more chance of infidelity, disease, the baby not being theirs, manipulation, unsatisfaction, inability to show true love and so on. Men will have sex with women who are promiscuous, but not take her seriously as a long term partner/mother. There’s nothing inherently wrong with promiscuity, it shouldn’t be punished or anything. It’s just that men find it disgusting.

statsfodder · 2022-09-12T10:31:35+00:00

STDs

Kid not being yours

Proof of bad decision making

Low value - can be had anyone

MarBitt · 2022-09-12T05:50:21+00:00

It is highly influenced by culture. Specifically, whether men play the role of fathers and whether it is important for them that their children are biologically theirs. And then how the property will be inherited.

In environments where children are raised communally, or where there is a matriarchy (name and property are inherited through the mother's line), a woman's sexual past is not so important.

With the Slavs, it is impossible to determine with certainty what their culture was like before the arrival of Christianity. But much suggests that, on the contrary, it was expected that the girl entering marriage would not be a virgin. The only ones who entered marriage as virgins were the ones no one wanted. So it was a shame in a way.

ruboyuri · 2022-09-12T18:42:37+00:00

Biology, obviously

No-Improvement-8205 · 2022-09-12T06:23:12+00:00

Alot of women do care, often they wont admit it straight up tho. In my anecdotal experience women care less about a partner being a virgin, but they do not want a guy with a "too high" number either. So women have some kind of "sweet spot" about a mans partners.

sidenote: also a good chunk of women do have problems with men who have too high numbers, they just rarely will admit it, but u can usually see it in their face when u tell them a high number (unless they dont believe you're attractive enough to rack up thoose numbers)

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-09-12T07:14:36+00:00

Sluttiness is unattractive for women too,

I don’t want a guy that sticks his dick into any hole he can find either,

Arguably, for both sides, sleeping around is a individual thing, I personally think if a person does this , man or women, they probably have a few security issues which I don’t want to be involved in.

Geismos · 2022-09-12T05:02:13+00:00

Become a Red Pill man and you'll easily know.. women like men that can get girls because it's hard. The only thing you need to do as a woman is to drink a bunch, debase yourself and lower your standards.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-09-12T04:58:05+00:00

Men being virgins are seen as a negative

Women being virgins are seen as a positive

Until this changes, men & women's n counts won't be the same.

DaoMark · 2022-09-12T03:37:27+00:00

First, excluding culture is impossible. Many cultures have zero evidence of prizing virginity in women until contact with one of the Abrahamic religions. There are many accounts in the Bible as well as in the journals of missionaries to support this that can be pretty much summed up as "ugh, pagans and their slutty women."

Second, evolution isn't "rational." It's what worked, or wasn't enough of an impediment to be selected out. Trying to reason your way to why any given creature evolved in a certain manner has limits. You will rarely see evolutionary biologists claim anything with absolutely certainty for this very reason.

HumanSockPuppet · 2022-09-12T05:32:27+00:00

Because a woman always knows that her children are, in fact, hers.

Gigamon2014 · 2022-09-12T09:22:52+00:00

Women like men who fuck a lot of women. They may not like the actual fucking but the ability to do so is highly attractive. I have a high body count but so do my male friends. They're all well put together, educated and in shape. No man gets sexual attention purely on the merit of being a man...thus its our achievements that make us more desirable. More achievements mean more desire from the opposite sex.

Of course you'll get a bunch of the usual loser female redditors who populate this sub argue against this point but we all knows its true. With men, it's simply not the same...we largely desire a degree of chaste. Of course there are plenty of outliers (I've known plenty myself) but, for the most part, men don't desire a woman who lacks sexual selectiveness.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-09-12T04:06:27+00:00

Women are more upset about a man falling in love with another woman than the sex. Falling in love means he could leave her high and dry. Men are more upset about her having sex because he can't be sure her babies are his the same way she knows her babies are hers. From an evolutionary perspective its a huge loss if you are being tricked into caring for a child that doesn't have your genes.

2022-09-12T13:44:43+00:00

I actually think this is a misrepresentation from the media. Most guys I know also aren't pleased with high numbers. Like it's not cool. They aren't proud of it, the ones with high numbers. It's a shame thing.

Anyways the big reason, as I just reinforced from an experience from a friend; sleeping with lots of people is literally a hazzard, like it's not safe. Unless you don't give a shit about stds. But you should. It is not illegal, in most of North America, to not tell a partner about 'non-serious' stds/stis'. So herpes, shypillis, etc. I know a chick, who sleeps with a new guy every week, and I cannot imagine she is telling all of them she has herpes. And can't imagine she's using protection with them all. But even if she was, it wouldn't matter because condoms don't super protect against herpes. So, she is knowingly spreading it, and there isn't anything anyone can do.

I was jealous of missing out because my number is low, but this just reminded me of what I dodged. That could have been me, but I missed that shit.

Fucking lots of people, is essentially playing Russian roulette. So like have fun.

YveisGrey · 2022-09-12T17:25:23+00:00

I think it has to do with paternity. The ease at which women can or can’t have sex doesn’t have any relevance. If anything men prefer attractive women who tend to have more suitors so I don’t think it really matters that a woman can have a lot of sex it’s just that if she does she might cheat and then you may not be the daddy.

deznue · 2022-09-13T02:00:29+00:00

Because for women it takes 0 work to get sex while men have to look good, have careers , drive nice cars, workout, be smart , funny , etc. that by the time he becomes something of himself the women he wants already been with 10+ guys without having to put any work which makes her none wifey material and more of pump and dump type

eth_trader_12 · 2022-09-12T03:27:31+00:00

Because a woman with a huge ton of partners doesn’t usually just bring herself into the relationship. She also brings her baggage. Those women are more likely to have deep emotional connections with so many men to the point it now becomes meaningless and they become jaded. A man could have a body count of 50 and only have had a connection with 2

widal · 2022-09-12T06:39:34+00:00

Why do women care so much more than men about height/money/status?

risdeveau · 2022-09-12T03:30:48+00:00

Because they care about sex more

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-09-12T04:54:22+00:00

a foundation in biological/rational drives

Just look at our some of our closest cousin; the chimpanzee. What type of society do they live in? There’s the Alpha dog. Who gets all the choice. Then a hierarchy down.

That said humans have evolved somewhat. Men however “evolved”; still possess that primal instinct. Which arguably is still beneficial.

Godspeed and good luck!

poppy_blu · 2022-09-12T10:23:25+00:00

if a man has slept around it means he’s got status

Among other men.

There isn’t a woman here or anywhere else who wants a man because of his number or sees it as a “status symbol.”

Not sure how new to PPD you are but you’ll find that men here are highly solipsistic and incapable of understanding that women are not men and do not think like men. Their entire existence revolves around projecting their own views on women and throwing tantrums every time someone points out that’s not how it is.

You will see it though when they respond to this message to tell me that I am a liar, I don’t know what I’m talking about, why is it that men with high numbers get lots of women then (yeah, seriously, they say that), I’m a dumb old slut, etc.

BigOleGreenTrees · 2022-09-12T04:58:38+00:00

I think a lot of it is because of men being the only ones allowed to own property in the recent past. Women only got a lot of their rights within the last 100 years so I think the philosophies they fueled live on. Since men owned the property they wanted to make sure their kids were really theirs considering the man was providing for them and also letting them inherit his property.

Essentially women can always know the child they give birth to is theirs. Men can't really know easily if a child is theirs if she's sleeping around.

big_twig_tow · 2022-09-12T03:30:53+00:00

Numerous studies have demonstrated that a lack of pair bonding and emotional connection is heavily correlated with high partner count in women.

Also, the worst nightmare for a man is ending up with a wife/partner who did certain sexual acts with previous partners, but won't do the same acts with her SO. It's one of the most humiliating situations a man can find himself in, and that's more likely when pairing with a promiscuous woman.

A good percentage of the posts on /r/deadbedrooms are precisely this scenario...

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-09-12T12:09:47+00:00

Women seem to care more then men about affairs.

Like, a women can be giving a guy a dead bedroom but will still go nuts even if the guy is having an emotional affair, yet alone a sexual affair.

Meanwhile, men are more than happy if another is another guy is having an emotional affair with her and is being her emotional tampon, and if she's not having sex, it's almost a relief to find out she's been cheating.

shadyMFer · 2022-09-12T12:26:10+00:00

If you're looking for a rational evolutionary reason, look no further than ensuring paternity. The worst thing a man can do, from an evolutionary standpoint, is get cucked into raising another man's kids. We instinctually seek out trustworthy, chaste women for this reason.

Final_Philosopher663 · 2022-09-12T14:06:59+00:00

25M. There are many reasons of course as intersexual dynamics is a freaking really complex thing and that is one of the reasons its so interesting. And i guess we talking about choices for LTR (long term relationships) not short term. Disclaimer: I don't blame or hate anyone for these things. ( sorry for my english )

Social standpoint:( I understand that it is mixed a bit with evolutionary)

1) It is not as easy for most women to have sex without developing emotions as it is for men, so her being with more people can have more chances of her being still emotionally connected/invested to an ex. That though can overcome by getting to know her better.

2) It is sad but it is more dangerous in a physical sense if an ex is stalking etc when that ex is a man and not a woman. Ex-gf will play a more psychological game and ex-bf psychological abuse can have stalking too which can lead to physical too.

3) Her having less sexual partners means less competition in getting to be with her and less competition while being with her ( I am not as good at X like your ex).

4) Hypergamy. Hypergamy is not only on providing side but on looks side and men fucking now it but most don't want to believe it. A man who has done something with 40-50 women doesn't mean that much even to other men because they will have same or less status/value than he does in the Sexual Marketplace (not less value as a person). On the other hand women will find men with same or higher status (now on dating apps mainly looks). And its fine im not hating on them im just stating the facts. So cause of hypergamy men will feel the competition more.

~ Not a point but slut shaming is done by women too to eradicate competitors (man do it aswell for example "He is a jackass , he is weak "etc etc)

Evolutionary standpoint:

1) The female choice of who to mate with is the evolutionary machine of our species. "Bad genes" will not be passed down cause no women will pick to mate with them. That is why hypergamy is a given, that's a reason we evolved. And that's why hypergamy isn't only about looks or only about how much you can provide. Imagine being in a dystopia where everyone is beautiful but useless or smart but not physically able. Having said that cause of hypergamy a big amount of males throughout history didnt have offspring so from an evolutionary standpoint its normal that the 3% of males have more females where 30% have none .(Percentages are not accurate, i put them to give a sense of magnitude).

2) "Sperm is cheap , ovum is expensive" or "Sperm is abundant , ovum is scarce". A woman cannot have children with different mates at same time and a woman needs to carry the child so there is an interval for women to having children. A male in extreme cases can have insane amount of wives AND children (Genghis Khan). So its not that far off that for a woman its more acceptable of a man had more mates.

3) You can say its same example stated above but men are polygamous by nature and monogamous by necessity . And of course if you want to have a stable society you need men to be monogamous. That is one of the reasons why societies with extreme polygamy had higher crime rates and couldn't compete with the others.

I can think of more examples but I don't have much time. I hope I didn't butcher anything and again sorry for my English. And I know that society and evolution are interconnected even though we wanna believe we can overcome all the instincts we have.

Thank you to the ones who read my opinion, and I firmly believe that from the things I said no point makes me think women or men are not equal. They have equal value as humans and different value in different sectors (example "sperm is cheap, ovum is not ") and I firmly believe if you see the whole picture it balances out in most cases.

Edit 1: Forgot that women know that its their child, so from evolutionary standpoint a man has to be sure that his time work and resources provided will be on his child.

pan3639 · 2022-09-12T14:08:57+00:00

There is an evolutionary reason, lack of promiscuity ensures paternity. That's why virgins have always been valued in all cultures/religions throughout history.

no_bling_just_ding · 2022-09-12T14:42:24+00:00

well that's an easy question to answer

women know the baby is theirs, men can't be sure

women can sleep with anyone they want by snapping their fingers and saying "let there be dick" but men can't snap their fingers and say "let there be fresh pussy at my doorstep" so naturally they won't feel the same way women do about it

2022-09-12T15:07:52+00:00

Paternity.

daddysgotanew · 2022-09-12T16:53:52+00:00

The old key/lock analogy. For any woman 600 pounds or less, getting sex is as easy as breathing air. It says more about her character if she turns it down. Women’s pair bonding is also very heavily affected the more partners they have. A man can have sex with 200 women, meet someone that he really clicks with/ is his type and he’ll fall in love the same way he did when he was in 8th grade. Women aren’t capable of that. Think of it like a cake. Every time a man takes a piece of her, she loses a little bit of herself to that man. Don’t shoot the messenger, it’s just biology. Pair bonding is designed to help take care of children. Evolutionary reasoning is that she “attaches” to the man long enough for him to impregnate her, and to go through the pregnancy and childbirth together with the man so that he can fend off predators while she takes care of the young and vulnerable child. Men don’t have that, we’re meant to try to impregnate as many women as possible, since thousands of years ago most of the offspring wouldn’t have lived.

On the other hand, for a male to get consistent sex, especially outside of relationships, he has to be VERY valuable or good looking. Both of which are hard to achieve, since women’s standards are higher.

FlyV89 · 2022-09-12T17:19:22+00:00

My question is why promiscuity/sluttiness is so specifically unattractive to men, instead of not mattering at all.

I'm a manwhore. I've slept with (I think) a bit more than 70 women, and I still do care about promiscuity in my partners, so this is not something related to previous experience or being insecure or whatever.

For me, the most important reasson is social standing. Simple as that.

I'm a good looking man, I'm in a power position, I comand respect from others both in the workplace and in any other social setup, and men and women look up to me, respect me, think I'm as best as one can get.

And I like that. I like being respected and admired. Part of my success in life is that, DESPITE what other people think, I understand that appearance matters. A lot.

Dating a promiscuous woman or a woman who has a reputation of having been around wores down that respectable image of myself.

You can become the center of all jokes for dating a woman every other man had. I've been there, I've seen it. Even women lose respect for you when you date a slutty woman. Not even mention if a guy in the workplace had her, that's nightmare.

I've seen a boss, a FUCKING BOSS, the guy that is supposed to be IN CHARGE, being mocked by his employees because one of them had sex with his wife.

What do you think the boss did? Firing employees because they were mocking him? Nothing. The man can do NOTHING. In just a few months he was just another employee, he had no authority over anyone, the respect people had for him had been destroyed.

That's why bussinesmen, smart, old bussinesmen to be precise, these old rich motherfuckers always ask you to introduce them to your women in job meetings before giving you a rise or put you in a power position.

The kind of woman a man has to his side speak WORDS about the kind of man he is. Arguably, the woman you hold hands with says more about you than what your mother could say about you.

When you date a promiscuous woman, you are dating a woman any other man could have but chose not to. Wether you like to admit it or not, that hurts your image, the way you present to others, the way others see you.

Yeah, I know I'm confident enough to not care what other people think about the choices I make, but damn, putting myself in a disadvantageous position just to prove my confidense? Like, that's some really fucked up logic.

When you date a woman with a good reputation, a "high quality woman" like people call it here, you know what she says about you?

"He's the best man. He's better than any other man. I'm with him because he's the best I can get"

You know what men think when they see her?

"She's out of my league. I'm never going to have her, nor another like her. She's better than me. The guy next to her is better than me."

That's it. He lost. I don't need to do anything, if a man thinks my woman is out of his league, I already won without saying or doing anything. I don't have to prove anything more.

Dating a traditional, respectable, femenine and charming woman is a POWER MOVE.

It's a display of power, dominance and ultimately, masculinity.

Don't get me wrong, I've slept with LOTS of promiscuous women, but I won't date one even if I got paid to.

They just simply make me look BAD. And I like to look good.

BulletReaper · 2022-09-12T18:28:57+00:00

Because it’s easy for women to get sex.

I know plenty of women who aren’t even attractive and get laid at least once a week with a different dude.

For a man to achieve this he has to have all his shit together. He has to be good looking, smart, successful, charismatic, good social skills, etc. it takes a lot of work for even the highest value men to have sex on a regular basis with multiple women. As a women all you need to do is wait for a man to approach you and decide if you like him enough to let him fuck. Not much effort. This is why many men get turned of by promiscuity.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-09-12T18:30:24+00:00

Hmm seems most of these aren't directed at your specific question.

A woman sleeping around signals lower value because she can reproduce maybe once a year or so. It's her biological goal to make that count. As opposed to a man who could reproduce a few times a day, it's his biological goal to use the shotgun method.

Instinctively a woman sleeping around is seen as desperate to reproduce at all and thus low value, rather than being selective because she has enough value that she can be.

It's also possible she is seen as a high potential risk as a waste of resources, it is far less likely she's actually reproducing with you if she's getting it from every guy she can. Why would you dedicate time, energy, food or any other resource to her? You fuck her and move on.

In the same vein if you are dedicating resources to her but others didn't need to, you are less valued. Why would you be attracted to someone who lowers your self worth?

greedyleopard42 · 2022-09-12T19:47:17+00:00

a man being able to do so is alright. a man actually doing it a lot- not really attractive

greedyleopard42 · 2022-09-12T20:13:38+00:00

it’s taken me a long time to try to unlearn my visceral disgust for men with a lot of sexual partners but you people are almost making me think i might as well just say fuck it since nobody seems interested in doing the work like i did lmao.

if i attributed mine to biology i might have had a scapegoat and never would have cared to fix it.

Overlord484 · 2022-09-12T20:24:16+00:00

Because men are providers. Providering for other men's kids is providering you can't do for your kids.

classicslayer · 2022-09-12T20:30:07+00:00

Its because our lizard brain tells us that if a woman sleeps around there is no way to know if our off spring is actually genetically ours. That's basically the evolutionary reason.

edgyny · 2022-09-12T21:50:18+00:00

Because women can't be tricked into giving birth and investing resources on a baby they aren't the biological mother to.

Trutheresy · 2022-09-12T22:22:19+00:00

Imagine an age with no contraceptives.

Woman promiscuous, man may be spending his precious little resources raising someone else's genetic offspring.

Man promiscuous, other women bare the burden. Not really as big a problem for the woman, so long as the man continues to perform father and husband duties

This is why btw, when you examine what people say when they find out a partner has cheated, men will say "did you sleep with him?" Whereas women ask "do you love her? Or "do you still love me?"

DiamondLilyD · 2022-09-16T20:36:40+00:00

Nope, I'm a woman and I'd rather die alone than date a whore.

YtBlue · 2022-09-12T05:23:53+00:00

Women have an ick meter men have a hoe meter. Pregnancy tests are new and the only way to know if that baby is yours is through an untouched woman. Nature gave men that to increase chances of knowing its your baby.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2022-09-12T10:28:52+00:00

Promiscuity is indeed so unattractive to most Men for the reason you have eluded to: Evolution.

Woman somewhat understandably get bent up about the clear double standard but they generally fail to grasp that it’s based in biology and not sexism. Men can’t help feeling repulsed by promiscuous Woman( in the context of relationships) no more than a Woman can help being attracted to a tall guy over a short guy. It’s simply our lizard brains being activated and no amount of rational thinking will change what is an emotional and instinctive response. Of course even emotional triggers have their roots in logic. Just because something shouldn’t be applicable to modern living-height preferences and promiscuity repulsion for example- doesn’t mean it wasn’t fundamental in the past. Before birth control and paternity testing( which has only exited for decades taken against the hundreds of thousands of years of human existence) Men simply had to trust that the child they were raising was in fact theirs. A promiscuous Woman was simply deemed as a untrustworthy Woman. Not just by Men but by other Woman as well.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-09-12T04:19:37+00:00

Cuz a master key can open many locks. But a lock is a shitty lock if it is opened by many keys

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-12T05:08:33+00:00

It's because any self-respecting man doesn't want a woman who multiple other men have already fucked. There's nothing special about a woman who's had sex with a lot of different guys. Women like that are basically tainted and ruined. It's the same concept that makes most single mothers far from wife material. Sluts are women who have been sexually conquered by a multitude of men. If she had absolutely no issue with exchanging sexual pleasures and bodily fluids with other men that's all she's good for is sex. Most men want to be the first that a woman's ever had. Sexually promiscuous women are just basically dirty and filthy. When a girl conducts herself as a slut she's basically throwing away her value and is no longer pure and in the eyes of a lot of men and in general by nature females start out far more pure than men. That purity is destroyed when a woman takes take sexual penetration from dick after dick. A man of course will still want to have sex with a slut who is gorgeous but nothing more than that.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-09-12T05:08:29+00:00

Biology

ManWazo · 2022-09-12T10:57:22+00:00

Promiscuity is a form of sexual selection: the strongest sperm get selected. This ensures survival of the fittest member of the specie.

Most men hate promiscuity because they know they have weak sperm, while top tier men dont care because they know they will get selected. This is an evolutionary proof that men with good genes dont care about promiscuity while lower tier men do care a lot since they know their value is so low that their genes wont get selected.

So basically, it's the 80/20 - 20% of men dont care because they know they are superior.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-09-12T03:39:41+00:00

Because women sleep with promiscuous men and date them/marry them and the men that aren’t or can’t be are settled for/regulated to getting sex on a transactional basis

smallstarseeker · 2022-09-12T15:22:08+00:00

Because, if your wife sleeps around you might end up raising someone else kid.

If your husband sleeps around, someone else might get stuck raising his kid.

That's why wives are more likely to forgive infidelity, and men tend to bail out.

carlenvirgo · 2022-09-12T09:25:58+00:00

Promiscuity is unattractive to both men and women. It shows a lack of self respect and commitment. It’s absolutely unattractive to straight women. The only people that applaud it is guys to other guys. Fathers even applaud their sons for it.. It originates from spreading the seed and passing down the lineage.

tharkyllinus · 2022-09-12T10:27:15+00:00

Higher body count effects pair bonding.

pikecat · 2022-09-12T05:22:23+00:00

Any time you are talking about "men" as in all men (or all women) you're going to be making broad generalizations.

When you state a single viewpoint, you are going to be wrong. All different viewpoints are within the group of men.

I've only ever seen guys caring about this on reddit discussions. It also seems that guys not getting laid are the ones who care the most.

You judge a person by their individual actions as you get to know them, not by a group label.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-09-12T08:34:52+00:00

Because a woman getting sex is nothing.

STD risks.

Promiscuous people tend to have low impulse control.

Also, some of us want our children to actually be...ours.

Why would I marry a woman who is happy she passed herself around to everyone?

Think, McFly! Think!

DeviledEggy · 2022-09-12T11:15:31+00:00

The double standard really is rediculous

LouisdeRouvroy · 2022-09-12T03:35:43+00:00

The obvious reason why men try to control the sexuality of the women they bed: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mater_semper_certa_est

If women complain, I suggest that new mothers spin a wheel at the maternity and if unlucky, they get their baby exchanged secretly without them knowing. We'll see how then women will consider paternity fraud irrelevant...

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moresleepy1 · 2022-09-12T07:55:57+00:00

because men have to invest in women who are promiscuous when they have children with them. if you figured out a way for the state to be responsible for children then alot of men wouldnt care. as long as the culture is that a man take care of a child he produces with a women then men are gonna care.

SilentFroggy · 2022-09-12T08:46:47+00:00

Commuting to a woman that has been used by other men is a huge disrespect to oneself.

RootingRound · 2022-09-12T08:57:52+00:00

Past behavior, if you can access an accurate record of it, is one of the best predictors of future behavior.

If you want a long term partner, you want to maximize the chances that the offspring you eventually invest in, are your offspring.

High promiscuity is related to a higher risk of extra-pair copulation.

A man who ignores promiscuity as relevant information in a partner would have a lower chance at reproductive success than one who is vigilant of promiscuity and picks less promiscuous partners.

dbz19_kai · 2022-09-12T09:30:06+00:00

Masculinity vs femininity.

In the world of sex, men are the pursuers who go out and get it. Women are what they are after. It's not women who do the pursuing.

A guy who can get girlfriends or can get sex is seen as a masculine guy, like James Bond. A woman who has not had sex is seen as pure feminine.

Seaker___ · 2022-09-12T09:47:54+00:00

Good indication of other traits

BruddaMSK · 2022-09-12T10:12:14+00:00

Why do men care so much more than women about promiscuity?

Fatherhood is the root of this. Historically, before DNA tests became a thing, there's been no way to know whether the children are yours.

It seems like we’ve already established that men care a lot more than women do about how many sexual partners their spouse has had in the past

Not so fast. Women care whether you're a virgin (when you're over 20) much more than men do care about N count.

MiaRX22 · 2022-09-12T11:06:57+00:00

Because men feel insecurity at the concept that they might not be the best sex you've ever had.

There are too many things to make a relationship all about sex and how it feels. I think it's OK if you aren't your partner's best sexually as long as you're the best overall.

flamingoinghome · 2022-09-12T11:45:08+00:00

Honestly, I think this gap is exaggerated in both directions. Watch what people do, not what they say.

boomershack · 2022-09-12T12:28:36+00:00

STD's and ofc: Who the daddy?

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-09-12T13:01:23+00:00

Not AS unattractive, well it’s pretty damn unattractive to me.

modidlee · 2022-09-12T13:21:23+00:00

Because they may not admit it, but women actually like the men that have the capability of being promiscuous more than the men that struggle with women. So to a woman a man being promiscuous probably means he’s more fun, better in bed, good looking, more charming, a better conversationalist, etc. But to men a woman being promiscuous just means she was easy pickings for a lot of guys.

olliethegoldsmith · 2022-09-12T14:11:49+00:00

Some men prefer a woman who is a sexually adventurer. That is what the "hotwife" thing is all about.

Final_Philosopher663 · 2022-09-12T14:40:17+00:00

Much praise to the people here who make good arguments that show they want to get to the truth not just what feels right or make an excuse for themselves! And of course for the ones providing citations. You guys are the reason I wanna be here and constantly question my beliefs in a productive way.

herefortheparty01 · 2022-09-12T15:37:17+00:00

Cuz men can’t be as promiscuous as women

whybotherany · 2022-09-12T15:50:27+00:00

Lol at rational being the opposite of cultural

bigdaveyl · 2022-09-12T16:01:45+00:00

It's because women know if the child is theirs. Men don't and until recently, it couldn't be verified.

For example, a woman sleeps with a new man every day this week and gets pregnant. Who is the mom? Who is the dad?

EDIT: If the male is going to provide, why won't he want to know that the child is his or not?

missionarymechanic · 2022-09-13T01:50:02+00:00

Why would I want to avoid a situation where I could potentially be moved to a murderous rage and do things I might regret? I'll have to think on that some more...

Being with someone who cares about depth and commitment of relationships and is motivated to actively avoid temptation for infidelity just sounds like a good idea. And someone with no past history of depth, discernment, fidelity, while not doomed to it, is still not likely to have a future with these things, either.

When it comes to the brain and things like sexuality, certain things just stick. The addiction to "new love" is incredibly powerful. First-time experiences can shape life-long expectations. And, I can tell you from personal experience, male or female, falling for and getting sexually involved with someone with "Cluster B" personality disorders will absolutely jack you up. Not all survivors grow past that.

We may have nearly a total handle upon pregnancy, but there is absolutely no control on effects upon the brain with sex. Humans pair bond. While there may be incredibly damaged or mis-wired people where this is no longer an experience, they are the exception, not the rule (But, don't worry, they'll be sure to come along shortly and impress upon us that monogamy is a deviation. After all, they're not monogamous...)

Finally, sex is not actually the pinnacle of relationships, intimacy is. When you can be fully clothed, yet completely naked before your partner/friend, and your vulnerabilities can be held in absolute trust and confidence, you have more than most will ever dare to dream possible. So few have it, so many are terrified by it; are afraid of intimacy. Generally speaking, from my observations, most people use sex as a placebo for what they actually need. And also I don't see too many people turning from that path and making real changes, because it is difficult... but. Man, am I ever happy for those that do and reap the rewards for it.

decoy88 · 2022-09-13T06:49:19+00:00

We don’t if we’re already getting laid ourselves.

Title	Why do men care so much more than women about promiscuity?
Author	Smithersink
Upvotes	43
Comments	346
Date	September 12, 2022 3:21 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xc1y51/why_do_men_care_so_much_more_than_women_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-men-care-so-much-more-than-women-about.1131343 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131343

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